Cambridge IELTS 9, Test 3, Task 2

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sp
orts facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that othe
r measures are required.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

There has been an argument that whether or not just increasing sports facilities is adequate as t
he best way to make public health better. Some people believe that it is only enough, whilst the othe
rs think that other measures should also be taken too. Nevertheless, I firmly agree with the later opi
nion due to some reasons being worth mentioning in the following paragraphs, while I will try to add
ress both sides of the issue.
To begin with, regular exercise undoubtedly plays a crucial role in the healthiness (noun: health)
. It declines the level of stress dramatically, and makes individuals feeling relaxed in addition to helpi
ng them remain in shape and keep fit. (You can connect the first two sentences to make a complex s
entence). It, however, prevents and postpones a wide range of diseases like heart disease and osteo
porosis. Thus, improving sports equipment makes this option of doing exercise more convenient for
people to get and enjoy its benefits.
Turing to the other side, physical health problems always are not always associated with the lac
k of regular exercise. There are many people suffering from many diseases rooted in issues like here
ditary deficient (deficiency) and malnutrition. Take AIDS, hyperthyroid, and bulimia, for example. Ot
her appropriate measures, therefore, should be taken into account of such problems for which doing
exercise is almost powerless (good sentence).
On the other hand, there are a variety of mental problems such as anxiety and depression whic
h have a direct impact on the general health of a society. These types of disorders can be even more
serious than physical disorders, if they do are not be well diagnosed and treated. In this case, psychia
tric treatment will definitely be further helpful as an alternative to physical exercise.
To conclude, although developing sports facilities can be influential in public health, it is not me
rely enough; and other efficient steps should be taken to achieve a high level of well-being in a com
munity, both physically and mentally. To be successful, demanding for specific consideration of indivi
duals and governments is imperative.

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Examiner's comment:
You have used good collocations. But you need to develop the grammar part. Besides, the coher
ence of the text is good enough.

Band

Task achieveme
nt

Coherence and
cohesion

Lexical resource
s

Grammar range
and accuracy

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