17 Ways to Repair a Fractured Relationship

The depth of hurt suffered in fractured relationships can be enormous. Here are
some tips to help you cope, repair the damage and move on in your relationship w
ith a deeper understanding and tolerance.
Be persistent – do treat the other person with kindness, courtesy and respect –
even if you feel they do not deserve it. It does not help to use demeaning words
and show your displeasure. Refrain from saying what you are thinking if the wor
ds are inflammatory.
1. Respond don’t react. Losing your temper will just further fan the flames. If
you react you will probably say or do the wrong thing.
2. Look for the root causes of the problem. Sometimes we are just as much to bla
me as the other person. Try to look at the whole picture. It is a bit like putti
ng a puzzle together, if you do not have the cover picture you could never figur
e out where each piece would fit.
3. Do not be judgemental. It is very easy to blame the other person entirely for
all and everything. Even more so, when you are coming from a point of hurt. Not
one of us are blameless, we are all capable of being a better person, a better
partner, a better colleague etc.
4. Don’t dwell on past hurts. What happened a few seconds ago is in the past. Ra
ther concentrate on the now and how you can live the best possible life in the n
ow.
5. Remember you get more of what you focus on.
6. Keep a quiet mind. Stay calm and concentrate on being serene and composed. Yo
u will have a much better chance of sorting out problems when your mind is not f
illed with angry, destructive thoughts.
7. If the relationship is worth repairing, decide your best course of action and
move forward, always being solution orientated.
8. Find at least one thing each day that fills you with gratitude and write it d
own.
9. Look for the things that make you happy in your relationship and focus on tho
se.
10. Maintain a positive mental attitude.
11. Being positive opens the doorway to your mind
12. Be prepared to listen and work on the points raised when you are able to hav
e a meaningful discussion.
13. What can you bring to the relationship that will contribute to a positive ou
tcome?
14. Take time to spoil yourself.
15. Spend quiet time thinking things through so that your thoughts are clear and
don’t blame yourself.
16. If necessary, share your problems with a person who will be discreet, and
not judgemental, but will look at the situation from both points of view.
17. You cannot change your partner but you can change yourself. “Become” the per
son that you want them to be.
Lastly, don’t give up. Small improvements are something to be celebrated. Rememb
er, the problems you are now facing took time to build up and it will take to ti
me to heal and repair them.
Remember, never touch another person in anger.

http://www.keepingyouontrackcoach.com

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