Mango-Mans Monkey-Trip to Banana-Republic

or,
Kadali Pradeshe Aam Aadmir Baadar Naach
Indranil Sarkar
The botanical name of banana is Musa acuminata, Musa balbisiana or hybrids Musa acuminata balbisiana,
depending on their genomic constitution. The very term Musa is significant. Some religious faiths hold that
Man emerged from Musa.
Banana is a very beneficial fruit.From curing dry skin and dull hair to curbing our untimely hunger pangs
and burning fat, banana does it all. It is one of the most versatile fruits, which is packed with nutrients that
are essential for our body. Besides this, banana is used for many homemade beauty treatments as well.Banana
contains Vitamin B6, C and a high percentage of water,which nourishes and hydrates the skin.These nutrients
also help to maintain the elasticity of our skin. So, one may add bananas in his/her daily diet.If one is looking
for instant solution to moisturizehis/her dry skin, he/she has just to apply pulp of a ripe banana on his/her
face. It is to be kept for 30 minutes before rinsing it off with lukewarm water.

Banana (then)

Banana (now)

The very name banana evokes in our minds eye the image of our primitive forefathers, relishing the magical
banana to their hearts content. There is a funny but somewhat true proverb:You are what you eat; and the
biologists have detected the hair-rising fact of the kinship between Man and Banana. Banana is certainly the
first ever food of Man. We have the same DNA code, the same Krebs cycle, the same cellular respiration,
etc. Most of the biological functions of any living creature are done within the cell; plant and animal cells
differ only in a few significant respects - cell walls, plasmids, etc. The cells of the monkeys and that of

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bananas are closely akin to one another. According to

Professor Steve Jones, We share 50% of our DNA

with bananas.
Modern Scientists have even found sufficient ground to speculate that Eves apple was in reality a banana
and its peel, thrown away casually (as everyone does) caused her to slip and fall (literally) which was used
metaphorically later to frame the story of snakes whispering provocation etc.

(Probable Hanumans ancestor [Left])

(Probable monkey warrior of Ramchandra-Right).

Since mythological time, we Indians have only one record of conquering a foreign country (i,e Sri Lanka of
Ravana).The battle was fought by the monkeys under the leadership of their supremo Hanuman,and not by
the Mango People of Ramas Ayodha. It was definitely the magical power of Banana that made them
victorious

over

the

carnivorous

Rakhasas

of

Ravana

army.

The Adams Bridge or the Ram Setu[Wikipedia]

More or less the same shrewdness was shown by another monkey chef at the beginning of the epic. When
Ramchandra was at a loss as to what to do in losing his wife,Angada, the son of Baali whom Ramchandra killed
in an earlier cowardly incident, consoled him (forgetting the personal sordid experience) and arranged a big
Monkey-Regiment to seize and capture Lanka.Within a fortnight they created the longest bridge till to-day

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under the guidance and blue-print of the Monkey Engineer Nala.The bridge was 18 miles (30 km) long and
separated the Gulf of Mannar (southwest) from the Palk Strait (northeast). The Ramayana attributes the
building of this bridge to Rama in verse 2-22-76, naming it as Setubandhanam, a name that persists till
today.Now,how did the primitive monkeys got such a huge strength and technical skill? If food is the fuel of
human-engine, then the answer is from banana.The matter is not at all laughable.There is a modern
repetition of the same old story.When the American engineers began the construction of the First
Continental Rail Road in the Progressive era, they followed monkey engineer Nalas technique (Note; I dont
know whether they read Ramayana or not).They supplied only bananas to their Chinese and Caribbean labours
for minimizing the labour cost and increasing the efficiency of the labours. The history of the creation of
the massive First continental Rail Road is still considered a modern wonder. And, it once again provides a
direct proof of the miraculous power of Banana.

The ape-army building the bridge. Illustration by Balasaheb Pandit Pant Pratinidhi from a 1916 edition of the Ramayana epic It was
the monkey engineer NALA who created this impossible work possible with his monkey labours- cum-soldiers.

The connecting bridge between India and Lanka created by the monkeys is still a nightmare to the highly
skilled modern engineers of modern times.Again, would any one justify how did they make the impossible task
of defeating the monstrous and carnivorous Rakhasas? It was definitely the enormous power of banana that
made the monkeys indomitable.
Ravana realized the secret of Ramas monkey-regiments hidden strength through personal catastrophic
experiences. So, from his death bed he gave Rama the wise suggestion of dis-mantelleing his Monkey
Regiment before returning to Ayudha for the sake of a peaceful Ram-Rajya. As a great military general and
veteran ruler, Ravana could guess a massive revolt against weak Ramchandra at any time by the indomitable
Monkey generals like Hanuman,Sugreva,etc.
Rama realized the truth in seeing the miserable condition of Ravana. He did not delay in obliging Ravanas
suggestion and not only dismantled his Monkey-Regiment just after celebrating the victory but also ordered

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them to undergo for a mandatory religious mission henceforth. Probably his real intention was to separate
the monkeys from naturally available bananas in Indian jungles.
But, his monkey-trick was understood by personalities like Hanuman, Sugrebe, etc. and they successfully
convinced their posterity never to change their food habit. For this reason, the discipline, dedication,
sincerity, fraternity, and comradeship of the monkeys are still seen among the members of erstwhile
dismantled Monkey-Regiment of Sri Ramchandra here and there who have been undergoing obligatory nonviolent observances since then. It appears clear that the monkey leaders realized the monkey-trick of Sri
Ramchandra in this regard but obliged the order because of the virtue of dedication they got from banana.

In the wake of modernity and supremacy of U.S.A, banana has got a new name. Bananas are now called
plantains (mainly in American English) instead of their original name. There is no doubt saying that it is just
because of a modern mans tendency to hide their shameful (!) ancestral affinity for Bananas.
Its a postmodern concept in practice similar to that of adopting dignified titles forsaking hereditary
occupational titles.
(Note: Mr. Darwin! are you smiling? Although you could not prove that monkeys are the primitive forefathers
of modern man,you managed the situation by mentioning the probability of some missing links. Thanks for
your patch-up theory. We dont like to imagine some super-terrestrial creatures as our fore-fathers.
Monkeys are definitely a better option.)
But the problem arises when Mango and Banana sleep away from refreshment dish and find them placed in
the hotspots of modern day parliamentary politics.

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OHenry, who coined the phrase Banana Republic.

In 1904,O Henry coined the term Banana Republic in his famous book Of Cabbages and Kings in order to
project his ideas of sovereign policy in Honduras. In Political science Banana Republic means a politically
unstable country whose economy is largely dependent on the export of a single limited-resource product, such
as fruits or minerals. In a typical Banana Republic there lies a larger section of impoverished populace ruled
by a powerful group of Oligarchic rulers. These rulers control the total economy of the country; pocket the
profit and transfer the burden to the shoulder of the Aam Aadmy i, e the Mango-People.
So long the term was used in case of a few small island countries of Caribbean Sea. But, recently one
influential and self-styled business tycoon applied the terms in case of Indian democracy and her over 120
crore population. His memorable/bold/daring/unprecedented/dauntless quote was, Indians are Mango People
(AaM Aadmi) in a Banana Republic. What a bold assertion! Even a powerful politician like Sir Winston
Churchill who once called Indians Dirty people of a dirty country might have thought twice in pronouncing
such a dangerously disgraceful rhetorical statement about the biggest republic and the oldest civilization of
the world !
Anyway, lets go back to Banana again. I dont know whether the Americans studied the achievements of Sri
Ramachandras MonkeyBrigade or not, but it is a surprising fact that the Americans guessed the hidden
strength of banana and started consuming it as their primary food in the Progressive Era. Thus banana
showed another magic and made America the most prosperous country of the world.It is said that an
American gentleman became a millionaire and earned 1000 percent profit in trading bananas.Can any other
commodity give so much of profit?

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Now, Mango, Banana etc. adjectives to the citizen of a country like India which has a cultural heritage of
more than 1.2 million years (Rama was born about 1.2 million years ago)sound perversity. Indian people
have forgotten the Magical Power of Bananas of the mythological period.We Indians would prefer death
than to eat bananas. We prefer fast-food, Chinese food or KFc etc.Of late some of us have interchanged our
positions with the so called wild animals like Tiger, Elephant, Rhinoceros etc. and have even started killing
them for flesh (not meat) [Note: Glance over the national dailies of last few months before doubting about
my statement]. In this way we have determined to take revenge against the age old cruelty of such animals
against innocent (?) man.
However, the haunting question whether the Tigers, Lions etc are really cruel animals or not, demands a
second thought. I personally doubt. Because I have never read any story of any animal however ferocious or
cruel it might have been lebelled, killing any human-thing (John Dryden) without being provoked. No animal
except the Cannibals like to eat human flesh. Most probably they are afraid of being infected with the
poisonous ingredients of human brain. They are satisfied in consuming their safe and traditional risk-free
brain-less deer, goat, cow etc. instead. Otherwise our thinkers would not have to pass sleepless nights in
thinking about the solution to the monstrous Population Problem and, the so called cruel animals would not
have got the label of endangered species.
In any case, no Indians, however poor he may be, considers banana worthy to be eaten by any civilized man.
So, calling them members of a Banana Republic is quite undignified, offensive, insulting etc.

Magnifera Indica (Indian Mango)

Secondly, it is really a researchable matter how Aam Aadmi gets the English form of Mango People. Aam
Aadmi means Common Man [Note: Aam in Hindi means Common and Aadmi means man: so, Aam Aadmi
deserves to be translated as Common Man [Janagan]. Aamis certainly not Mango in this case. Mango is
colloquially translated as Aam in some North Indian state-languages, not everywhere in India.] So, how can

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Aam Aadmi be Mango People? Who gave the license to the translator of causing dual crimeagainst English
language and against Indian Commoners? Whosoever has done it, has inflicted the very sentiment of the
millions of half-clad and half-fed Indians.

How can Mango Man be Aam Aadmi?

Now, Mango i, e Mangifera Indica is the national fruit of India. Although Mango is a very delicious fruit, and
the hankering after Mangoes is to some extent eternal,it is quite impossible on the part of the Indian Aam
Aadmi (!) to reach them.A kilo of Mango costs at least Rs.80/- but the average per capita income of the
Mango People of India is only Rs.17.64 according to the latest report. So, how can the Aam Aadmi (Mango
People!) afford to have Mangos in their refreshment table? Very few Aam Admi possesses the capacity to
taste Mangoes once or twice in a year in this age of Globalization. Most of the mangoes are exported to
developed countries either for earning Foreign exchange or for earning Diplomatic benefits. So, it is sheer
puzzling why the great political leaders or Business Tycoons call the poor posterity of Gandhi Mango People?
(Note: We no longer write Gandhiji.) It proves their poverty of linguistic aptitude. They should not undermine
the importance of Mango or Banana by adjectifying the general Indians on the one hand and endanger their
own species on the other. They would get more effective terms(slangs) for their purpose if they go to the
slum areas of Bombey (sorry) Mumbai,Calcutta (Kolkata) or Delhi.
The statement is very risky also. Because, so far it is known, Hanuman is still alive. He was bestowed with
the blessings of immortality by Lord Siva. So, what will happen if somehow he comes to know all such
defamatory politicized mud-slanting about his favourite food? He would definitely be the last monkey to
spare such grievous offenders. After all, till today he is the lone possessor of the unique achievement record
of burning a well-guarded city singles handedly (i, e Ravanas Swarna-Lanka.)
Instead, is it not better on their part to read Rabindranath Thakurs kabhyik (rhetoric) view of Mango and
Banana and keep their mouth shut and live happily pretending themselves omnipotent and omniscient?
Aamsattya Dudhe Guli,
Taahaate Kadali Doli
Sandesh Makhiya diyaa Taay

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Haapus, Hupoos, sabda

Charidik Nistabdha
Pipra Kaadiy Jaay Paate.

And, allow us to pass our life happily meditating like mango-men in this banana-republic (!)

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Note:Its a Nonsense writing. Images and Information are collected from public domain articles and various
web resources permitted to copy and re-use and as such No Reference or link is provided.- i.s.
Contact e-mail: indranil49@hotmail.com
[Words: 2200]

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