The Indie Spiritualist

Introductory Musings on Dogma Free

Spirituality

Chris Grosso
1

Contents
Endorsements3
Introduction8
1. Spirituality? I Call
Bullshit.10
2. Come As You
Are.13
3. Shifting
Paradigms16
4. Question
Everything19
5. Jesus, Hitler, Bieber, Slayer and Unconditional NonDuality........................................................21
6. Van Halen, Samadhi and Out of the Box
Spirituality.....................................25
7. Skateboarding + Ian MacKaye Converge Spirituality= Four
Degrees of
Interconnectedness..28
8. Halloween and the Haunted House of our
Mind........................................32
9. Triumphant Life Fuck Ups and How Loving-Kindness Can Help
.........................................................................36
About the
Author..40
2

Endorsements
(*The following endorsements are for my forthcoming book, which is an expansion of
the introductory writings presented here.)

From my very first conversation with Chris, I sensed his sincerity,

humility, and gratitude, which immediately attracted me to his work.
Since then Ive encouraged him to write his first book, The Indie
Spiritualist, and offered guidance and support along the way. Its clear
that these spiritual principles are touching more young adults than ever
before, as exemplified through the work of authors such as Gabrielle
Bernstein and Noah Levine. I believe Chris Grosso is the next to join their
ranks. His message is simple: dogma-free spirituality thats available to
everyone at all times. Whether youre attending a meditation event, a rock
concert, a yoga class, or even a rehab program, spirit is always
accessible. Chris does an excellent job of presenting this paradigm in his
book, The Indie Spiritualist, and of exemplifying it in his everyday life.
Im grateful for what Ive learned from Chris, and Im excited to see the
impact that his wisdom and work will undoubtedly have on the world.
Marci Shimoff
#1 New York Times Best-Selling Author of
Love for No Reason: 7 Steps to Creating a Life of Unconditional Love and
Happy for No Reason: 7 Steps to Being Happy from the Inside Out
Best-selling co-author of Chicken Soup for the Womans Soul 1 and 2;
Chicken Soup for the Mothers Soul 1, 2, and 3; and Chicken Soup for the
Singles Soul
Chris Grosso is a humble, wise, penetrating writer and spiritual pioneer. I
tremendously enjoyed the range and depth of The Indie Spiritualist and
found myself drawn by the ten questions into unsuspected mysteries and
depths. I believe his book will be immensely useful, accessible, and a
source of joy to many seekers.
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 Andrew Harvey
Best-selling author of The Hope: A Guide to Sacred Activism
Wed like to take this opportunity to endorse Chris Grosso and his
upcoming book The Indie Spiritualist. Theres a new generation of
spiritualist emerging, and Chriss work on his website, The Indie
Spiritualist, has established him as a leading visionary among them. This
work, along with the caliber of contributors participating, has also laid a
solid foundation to ensure the success of this book. We believe there is
no better voice than Chriss for this project, and know that this book will
be of great support to all who seek wisdom.
Stephen and Ondrea Levine
Best-selling authors of Embracing the Beloved, Who Dies? and The Grief
Process
Those of us who are muddling and meandering our way along a spiritual
path often wind up befuddled, a bit lost, and in need of guidance from
someone with the chops to light the path so that we can find our own
way. Chris Grosso is just such a light-bearer. With his own quirky breed
of indie spiritualism, Chris seeks the sublime and invites us to seek it for
ourselves. His book, The Indie Spiritualist, will be a great service to
those looking outside traditional religious paths to find divinity within
themselves and in the world.
Lissa Rankin, MD
Best-selling author of What's Up Down There? Questions Youd Only Ask
Your Gynecologist If She Was Your Best Friend
Id like to take this opportunity to highly recommend Chris Grosso and
his new book, The Indie Spiritualist, to you. I participated in this project
by responding to Chriss very good questions, and I think this book is a
winner. My wife, Cindy Lora-Renard, who is a gifted spiritual counselor
4

and has a masters degree in Spiritual Psychology from the University of

Santa Monica, also participated in Chriss project by responding to his
questions for this book. I will happily promote this book to my database
contacts. Please give it your consideration, and thanks.
Gary Renard
Best-selling author of The Disappearance of the Universe and Your
Immortal Reality
There is just something about Chris. He is a voice, an energy, a life force
that brings together our inner rebel with our inner wisdom. He is
destined to leave a profound mark on this planet through his innovative
writings, musings, and questioning of what it means to be here and
human.
Amy Ahlers
Best-selling author of Big Fat Lies Women Tell Themselves
[The Indie Spiritualist] website is an edgy field of delights. [Chriss]
interview questions set me thinking in new directions. I have found his
website . . . to be an interesting attempt to capture the Spirit of the times:
timely, timeless, and otherwise.
Lama Surya Das
Best-selling author of Awakening the Buddha Within
Chris Grosso is a brilliant curator of all things cool, underground, and
enlightening for the newer generations of misfit mystics, musicians, and
artists who take the road less traveled. He presents creative expression
and spirituality as a positive, alternative route to that of self-destruction.
When I first met Chris, my punk-rock heart instantly resonated. His
own big heart makes you feel like youre part of his honorary family. Even
when you feel as though you dont fit into the mainstream, its still
human to desire a tribe of like-minded people who get you and accept
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you as your true self. When you are a spiritual seeker, it can be reassuring
to discover that there are other rebellious, countercultural types, like
yourself, who are on a similar spiritual path.
Chriss down-to-earth style in interviewing some of the most
important spiritual teachers of our times can bring spirituality to a wider
audience. The world needs those who ask the important questions, so
that spiritual knowledge and wisdom are shared and preserved. To me,
thats a sign of a good teacher: asking the questions that make you think
and connecting you to your inner truth. Chris asks those important
questions. Add that to the wisdom he shares about his own difficult life
lessons, and I feel strongly that he will inspire and give hope to those
who need it the most.
Lisa Marie Selow
Author of A Rebel Chick Mystics Guide (Hay House)

Nine out of ten elephants recommend Chris Grosso! In a society where

spirituality has been commoditized and re-packaged as a lifestyle accessory,
Chris's zero bullshit approach to our spiritual lives is a much needed reality
check. Accountability? Check. Unconditional Loving Kindness? Check.
Unwavering honesty? Check. Mixing indie music and counterculture with his
dharma to reach the minds who need this the most? Check.

As an editor, I see many writers looking to use spirituality as a vehicle for

self-promotion. In Chris, I see someone promoting his work because it's his
heart's desire to reach people and touch on their spiritual needs. If I had to
pick one spirituality writer to watch this year, it would be Chris.

Kate Bartolotta
Managing Editor at elephantjournal.com
The best way to get information about any sort of underground scene is
from those who love what they do, as exemplified in how they are
determined to live through the arts despite the mainstream mind-set. Chris
Grosso and The Indie Spiritualist are a perfect example of just that
alternative mind-set. Combining punk rock, skateboarding, spirituality, and
more, Chris, with his book The Indie Spiritualist, is blazing trails like no
one else.
Chuck Treece
Professional skateboarder (Santa Cruz, Powell Peralta) and session
musician (Billy Joel, Sting, Pearl Jam, Amy Grant, The Lemonheads,
Urge Overkill, Bad Brains, McRad)

Introduction
Whats an indie spiritualist, and why does it matter? An indie spiritualist is more than
someone who thinks independently, who craves a spiritual path that lies outside the
traditional confines of Western religion. The New Age of cultural attitudes that
emerged in the last half of the 20th century brought an influx of ideas originating in a
variety of ancient and modern cultures, including beliefs (like reincarnation, holistic
health care approaches, pantheism, and occultism) that were then very much outside
the mainstream. This important movement ushered in alternative approaches to
spirituality, conscientious living, and health. Although these ideas became even more
popular during the 60s and 70s counterculture, they arent just for the baby boomers.
In the 80s the notion of creating your own personal mythology became popularized
through renowned mythologist Joseph Campbells encouragement to Follow your
bliss, which became firmly impressed on the collective consciousness of inquisitive
members of generation X, who could now see the connection between spiritual
transformation, and listening to and living by their deepest values. And for the newer
generation of Millennials, the movement of Cultural Creatives came along at the turn of
the new century, further emphasizing and spreading the ideas about individuality,
ingenuity, sustainability, good works, and simply living by your personal values.
Dogma Free Spirituality is a new approach to divine experience for those who reject the
trappings and hypocrisies of mainstream spirituality and organized religion. The Indie
Spiritualist poses questions and ideas for contemplation by readers who feel a sense of
otherness and dont necessarily fit mainstream cultural norms in terms of outer style,
interests, passions, values, or attitudes.
For years, I wrangled with how to reconcile walking a spiritual path with my love of
independent, underground culture and my struggles with addiction and recovery. This
ultimately led me to reevaluate everything in my life and to ask myself questions that
are not typically discussed in spiritual circles. The ideas and questions were not overly
esoteric, but rather simple, introspective questions that I personally needed to work
through in order to get a clearer picture of my path and purpose.
I do my best daily to remember and remind people that spirituality is not something
that only happens on meditation cushions or yoga mats, in sanghas, churches,
mosques, temples, or synagogues. Its not always peaceful and quiet, with crystal
bowls and incense. Spirituality is available to all of us, at all times and in all situations.
I think its so important for us to unhook and pull back the surface layer to find the
sanctuary that resonates with us. When we make this discovery, it doesnt matter
where we are, because we come to know and experience that spirit saturates
everything.

The majority of my writing came about, because despite having spent years reading
and meditating on many different teachings, including those of Buddhism, Advaita
Vedanta, A Course in Miracles, and quantum physics, I found myself entering a
rehabilitation treatment facility, where I began contemplating some of lifes most
fundamental questions in a new lightand through a completely shattered paradigm.
This wasnt my first time being in rehab but this particular experience led me to
insights, clarity, and a greater sense of love and acceptance than I could have ever
imagined.
The Indie Spiritualist is a simple, new, introspective exercise in dogma-free, everyday
spirituality that I hope will benefit seekers from all walks of life, whether you are new
to the spiritual path or a longtime practitioners. Its not only my story, but I believe
many of our stories as we reconcile of living an independent, countercultural lifestyle
with walking an authentic spiritual path.
Do we have to be buttoned-down and clean-cut to embark on a spiritual path? Many of
us have been pressured to feel that way before, when we tried traditional Western
spiritual paths, but with the exploration of the questions and ideas posed by The Indie
Spiritualist, the answer is clearly no. My sincere and humble intention is to empower
you to accept yourself as you are, in all your uniqueness, and to find peace and
happiness while being you and walking an authentic, dogma-free spiritual path.

Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless
it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense ~ Buddha
The following is a condensed, introductory presentation of various elements included
in Dogma Free Spirituality and is based on a series of articles I wrote that were
featured on ElephantJournal.com. It is in no way a complete representation of all the
aspects of Dogma Free Spirituality but for now serves as something for you to ponder
and to help get you started on your way if it resonates. In my forthcoming book, which
is represented by Literary Agent Michele Martin of MDM Management, I will expand on
these ideas and concepts, as well as many others and in greater detail.
Until then, may you enjoy happiness and the root of happiness.

I
Spirituality? I Call Bullshit
The game is not about becoming somebody, its about becoming nobody. ~ Ram Dass
I love diversity and Im glad that I have friends who have virtually no interest in
spirituality because as with anything else in life, they help me consider things from
different angles than that of just a spiritual practitioner (though often unbeknownst to
them).
I recently had a conversation with one of those friends while she was taking some bio
pictures of me for my website (oh self-aggrandizement, youre an alluring bitch). She
playfully cracked on my interest in spirituality and joked about how I wasnt smiling
enough in the photos followed by saying, what would all of the spiritual people think?
I didnt think much of it
at the time but later on,
I really began to ponder
why I was particularly
drawn to spirituality yet
she wasnt, and how
that playful comment
about what spiritual
people would think,
actually said a lot more
than I initially realized.
My friend and I are both
similar in many
respects, we have a lot
of tattoos, love
underground culture,
look for more than what life has to offer at face value and so forth, but when it comes
to spirituality, she has little to no interest at all. And I have to say that after really
thinking about a lot of what passes for spirituality these days, I dont blame her.
Some years ago, I was at a breaking point in my life. Years of active drug and alcohol
addiction left me at a place where I was going to either literally kill myself, or find a
better way to live. It was a dark time for me, but one that proved to be the catalyst
which pushed me to find a more integrally healthy lifestyle. For people like my friend,
however, people who arent at the edge of death, or insanity, or backed into a corner
like I was, they often dont feel compelled to seek out deeper meanings from life. If
they do however, and happen look for it in much of todays contemporary spirituality,
its often not long before they remember why they hadnt looked there in the first
place.
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Much of todays spirituality has become a business, and business is good, but for
people like my friend, and many others, who can see through bullshit a mile away,
much of todays spirituality just doesnt appeal to them. I mean, some of the shit that
passes for spirituality these days blows my mind, and the price tags attached to it,
well, like I said, business is good.
So much of this spirituality is presented as pretty and cosmetic, and basically is to
spirituality, what Jersey Shore is to reality. Even when unsavory things like our judging
minds and low self-esteem are addressed, theyre often given fun, kitschy names or
catch phrases to put a shiny spin on them. I mean, if those fashionable spiritual
teachers and their products are helping someone else to deepen the connection to
their true inner nature in a sincere way, thats awesome. But so much of it is watered
down and only addresses the love and light aspects focusing on words like,
empowering and healing. However, if people arent doing more than scratching the
surface of the areas where the real healing and empowerment can come from, how
deep and long lasting will said empowering and healing actually be?
For me, I want to lay it all out there as real as I can, both the good and the bad. Life
can be brutally ugly and grotesque and I dont want to pretend like its not. Fuck, just
look at the process of childbirth we go through to get here! As much as we like to
ignore the things that scare us, like the fact that death is always creeping up on us,
what good is embracing our denial of lifes ugliness actually doing? I mean, I hate to be
the bearer of bad news, but at this very moment, you and I, were dying.
Of course, its important to celebrate life and love, friends and family and Im not
trying to address this in a morbid way but rather, at the very least, so that we can
acknowledge and recognize that for most of us, theres some scary shit weve become
complacent in ignoring. Once we muster up the courage to look our physical mortality
in the face though, we open ourselves up to a deeper relationship with our true Self,
the Self that cannot be harmed and never dies, the Self that we were before we took
birth in these physical bodies and will continue to be after we lay them aside.

Unless we agree to suffer we cannot be free from suffering. ~

D.T. Suzuki
True spirituality embraces all of this, the beauty that is almost too much to bear, as
well as the pain that leads some to the brink of insanity. Its all grist for the mill. We
practice our asanas and mantras, prayers and aspirations, and thats great, but are
they serving to strengthen our identification as a spiritual person who believes they
are this material body, or to help us un-identify from that, and this illusion as a whole?
Im not perfect, Im so fucking far from it its ridiculous, and I want to be absolutely
clear on that. I fail at much of what Ive written about in this article myself. I lapse into
mental labels of myself, and others, all the time and get caught up in material shit.
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Case in point, before writing this article I was packing my drums up as Im scheduled
to play Kirtan at Kripalu later on, which is a very well known Yoga retreat center here in
the Northeast. So when I finished with that I grabbed my Saucony sneakers, but noticed
my pair of Vans sitting right next to them.
The quandary was that the Sauconys are made from suede, while the Vans are made
from canvas. So I stopped for a minute and thought about how I was going to be
performing in front of a bunch of yoga practitioners, and well, hmm, what would they
think if I was wearing suede shoes? So yeah, thats the level I was recently coming
from, but Ill just keep on keepin on and do my best to bring awareness and
compassion to the ridiculousness that is Chris Grosso, and to not take it all so
goddamn seriously.
p.s. I wore the Sauconys. Namaste Motherfuckers.

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II
Come As You Are
We already have everything we need. There is no need for self-improvement. All these trips
that we lay on ourselvesthe heavy-duty fearing that were bad and hoping that were good,
the identities that we so dearly cling to, the rage, the jealousy and the addictions of all kinds
never touch our basic wealth. ~ Pema Chodron

It wasnt until I found the punk/hardcore music scene around 14 years old in the early
90s that I ever really felt as
though I was a part of
something (family aside).
Getting involved in the
punk/hardcore movement
was life changing for me
because it was a community
of people searching for
something more. There
were bands discussing all
sorts of relevant topics from
politics to personal ethics,
spirituality and all the isms
you can think of. So having
those roots prior to
becoming interested in
spirituality was important as
it helped facilitate finding my own voice and truth, regardless of the thoughts and
opinions of others. And yes, it was cool to read Noah Levines Dharma Punx and realize
I wasnt the only one who had that experience.
The punk/hardcore scene had a huge effect on me, especially in developing my
inquisitive nature and in teaching me not to accept everything at face value, which
popular society and mass media obviously would prefer we do. A friend of a friend of
mine described the punk scene as, A last ditch effort for authenticity in a world
increasingly devoid of it. And from my personal experience, I definitely agree.
During the early nineties I stood out like a sore thumb in high school.
I was a pierced skateboarder who wore punk t-shirts (many of which landed me in the
principals office) in a town and a time where it was not socially acceptable (a lot really
13

has changed over the last 20 years). Ill admit that I was young and nave and didnt
totally understand what I was rebelling against a lot of the time. It was still, however,
an amazing lesson in learning not to care what others thoughtalbeit often on a
materialistic levelbut it ultimately carried over and played a huge role later on in my
life while developing my own sense of spirituality.
My high school was small but like any traditional high school, athletics was the driving
force behind popularity and acceptance and not just by your classmates, but the town
in general. Im not knocking those who played sports, I was on the soccer team from
elementary school through seventh grade and played organized hockey for much of my
youth as well. Where I lived, though, it defined you. So when I left soccer to pursue
playing music, I got my first taste of not fitting into the status quo and just how
uncomfortable that could make other people who lived their lives based around it.
The thing was, even though my outer self didnt fit in, my heart and sense of right and
wrong were increasingly growing and taking a stand where others, specifically the ones
who were more favorably viewed by teachers and the town in general, wouldnt.
For example, homophobia was rampant in my school but thanks to the inclusive nature
Id been learning through punk/hardcore ethics, I knew that wasnt cool and I had no
problem speaking up when others would say the word faggot as an insult and in the
most hateful of ways. This definitely didnt earn me any cool points, but I could have
given a shit about that. I should also mention that, of course, I learned a sense of right
and wrong from my parents that I took seriously, but punk taught me not to cave to
peer pressure, like the majority of other students would.
Im in no way trying to toot my own horn but rather convey through example how
grateful I am to have learned to truly follow my own heart at that young age thanks to
punk/hardcore.
So in tying that together with the spiritual aspect of this article, the truth Im most
grateful to have experienced on a personal level, one which others have balked at
which meant very little to me, is that God, Universe, Buddha, Krishna, Jesus,
Mohammed, Spirit, Higher Self, ad infinitum, couldnt give less of a shit about what we
look like on the outside.
It doesnt matter if we adopt a specific religion, spiritual path and vocabulary,
have tattoos or piercings, wear a suit and tie, repent our sins, tithe or repeat
specific mantras a certain amount of times.
Its our heart and intention that matter the most. So if were coming from our hearts,
yet not practicing a particular mantra or prayer perfectly, it doesnt mean the merit
isnt being accumulated.

14

In the interest of full disclosure, let me state unequivocally that I do use mantra
practices and meditate daily. Im a part of a spiritual community and read the literature
of the great wisdom traditions, so I have nothing against any of that at all. My point is
that unless Im coming from the heart while engaging in such devotional practices,
then its empty. Im doing nothing more than paying lip service.
The cool thing is, though, even that doesnt really matter because we will ultimately
remember our true self sooner or later, whether its in this lifetime or another. Its
inherent in us so how could we not? Its a love that is never apart from us, weve just
covered it up with so much stuff its often overlooked.
The other cool thing is that if none of those practices resonate with you right now,
doing things like gardening, hiking, listening to music or dancing etc.mindfully, with
a sense of love, peace, joy and happinessare just as valid of a spiritual practice as
anything else. Chances are better than not that over time, immersing yourself
wholeheartedly in those things will more than likely lead you to explore more
traditional styles of practice, which, over time, will cultivate an even deeper experience
of your self.

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III.
Shifting Paradigms
The Times They Are a-Changin ~ Bob Dylan
That they are, and then they change some more, and more, and on and on it goes, this
thing of ours. While change really is the only constant in this reality, its also one of
the most feared and fought against things in our daily lives. Thats why I feel that
shifting paradigms is such an important topic to explore.
Now, not to get all new-agey, but I
dont think Im the only one who
has noticed a significant increase
in shifting universal energies in the
new millennium, especially over
the past few years. What Ive also
noticed with these shifts is a lot of
people, especially younger
generations, looking for something
more, yet not knowing where
exactly to look or how to find it.
Many resort to looking for it in
material items such as drugs,
shopping, food, sex and so forth.
Others seek it in transforming their
physical appearances via tanning,
tattoos, piercings, plastic surgery,
expensive clothes but these are
all temporary and fleeting things
that will only fill the gap for so
long. Theres absolutely nothing
wrong with any of the
aforementioned things, Im
personally covered in tattoos, but its important to remember that things such as those
are nothing more than material pleasures which typically dont transform us on a
deeper, inner level.
So why then, isnt spirituality typically at the top of those lists, since in essence, its
supposed to address our inner most selves, right?
I personally believe much of it has to do with the stigma attached. I know when I was
initially looking for something deeper in life that talk of fire and brimstone, giving up
material possessions, living in caves, stretching in weird positions and so forth, were
16

not very appealing to me. With the exception of the fire and brimstone, Im at a place
today where most of those things actually are appealing, but when I was first
approaching spirituality, haha, yeah right.
A big part of Dogma Free Spirituality is the intention to make spirituality more
accessible for all seekers.
Its to inspire us all to help create a safe, nurturing, non-judgmental space for all
practitioners, regardless of how establishedor notthey are. Or, whatever lineage
or lack thereofthey adhere too.
Spirituality often conjures negative thoughts and images for people and most often,
rightly so. Many have had bad experiences with religion and spirituality forced upon
them while growing up. Others were only exposed to certain tenants of it that didnt
resonate with them and thus, they wrote it off altogether. Still, others see it as some
lame, lovey-dovey type of thing that they cant relate to at all.
Spirituality can certainly be lovey-dovey a lot of the time. Hell, Ive had plenty of those
experiences myself, but for someone not familiar with the territory, possibly coming to
it from a darker place due to any number of lifes experiences, they may not be ready
to accept all the love and hugging, the prayers and chanting and Buddha this and
Christ Jesus that. What they, and many others, may need is just to know that its all
okay, that its all grist for the mill, that its all part of spirituality. Remember, no mud,
no lotus.
The following is an excerpt from Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoches classic book
Cutting Through Spiritual Materialism (Shambhala Publications).
(Im sharing this as it was of paramount benefit for me to read early on in my spiritual
practice and something I revisit often to keep myself and my practice in check. I also
think its a wonderful example of re-evaluating our own spiritual paradigms.)
It is important to see that the main point of any spiritual practice is to step out of the
bureaucracy of ego. This means stepping out of egos constant desire for a higher,
more spiritual, more transcendental version of knowledge, religion, virtue, judgment,
comfort or whatever it is that the particular ego is seeking. One must step out of
spiritual materialism. If we do not step out of spiritual materialism, if we in fact
practice it, then we may eventually find ourselves possessed of a huge collection of
spiritual paths.
We may feel these spiritual collections to be very precious. We have studied so much.
We may have studied Western philosophy or Oriental philosophy, practiced yoga or
perhaps have studied under dozens of great masters. We have achieved and we have
learned. We believe that we have accumulated a hoard of knowledge. And yet, having
gone through all this, there is still something to give up. It is extremely mysterious!
17

How could this happen? Impossible! But unfortunately it is so. Our vast collections of
knowledge and experience are just part of egos display, part of the grandiose quality
of ego. We display them to the world and, in doing so, reassure ourselves that we
exist, safe and secure, as spiritual people.
So is everyone still with me here? Many of you are already aware of everything Ive
written about here and thats wonderful, so maybe this served as a nice little refresher.
Maybe some of you havent looked at things quite like this before and have something
new to ponder. And of course, some of you will read this and think its a complete
crock of shit, and thats totally cool too. I never have, and never, ever will say that what
I write is the way things should be, or tell someone theyre wrong because their beliefs
or experiences are different than mine, thats the complete antithesis of Dogma Free
Spirituality.
Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have
said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense. ~
Buddha

18

IV.
Question Everything
I wouldnt bother with these questions if I didnt sense some spiritual connection. ~
Propagandhi
When I say question everything, I dont mean it in a conspiracy theorist sort of way
(though even that has its place at times), but rather in a constructive way which
suggests we check in with ourselves to see if were honoring our deepest truths at any
given moment.
A theme I often reference is that the old paradigm of connecting with Divinity can only
be done through formal religion
going to church or temple,
rigid and arduous spiritual
practices, etc.and how that is
beginning to change. And thank
God (pun intended).
The question everything aspect
of this approach helps take you
deeper into your own personal
experience in order to find out
what resonates with, and truly
works for you at this time in
your process.
The intention to create a safe,
nurturing and supportive space
for seekers from all paths and
walks of life is so important,
especially in this day and age
where many feel like complete
spiritual misfits. I believe
embracing and celebrating our
differences, rather than
completely discrediting one
another because of them, is so important.
Am I the only one who wonders why some of us are so scared of others beliefs,
particularly regarding religion/spirituality, that we completely discredit what they have
to say simply because it doesnt coincide with our hard fixed beliefs?
Theres plenty of things that baffle me in life, but exclusion based on different beliefs
is one which definitely tops the list. A lot of people automatically think of Christianity
and Catholicism in regards to closed minded religious and spiritual sects, but its
rampant in all religions and spiritualities including, but not limited to, Judaism,
Buddhism, Hinduism and so forth.

19

In practical, daily application, when I find myself in strong disagreement with

someone elses view or opinion, instead of immediately discrediting what they
have to say, I look inside and explore what led me to those feelings.
This is the only way I can truly know that Im not acting on old conditioned paradigms
and often times, it leads to uncovering paradigms that I wasnt even aware existed.
Some of them may still serve me, others may not, but regardless, theyve now been
brought to my attention and I can consciously do with them whatever feels right. I may
find that what originally didnt resonate with me was only because of outdated beliefs
once I recognize those beliefs no longer serve me, I can let them go. Now Ive made
room for new and more conducive ideas to enter.
We all have our core beliefs and many of them have served us well. Weve had many
wonderful things instilled in us since birth which are still very useful today. Many of us,
however, (myself included), have also picked up plenty of things throughout life which
have seeped into our subconscious and definitely dont serve our, or anyone elses,
best interests.
The good news though, is that its much easier to change these outdated
paradigms than youd think.
As I previously stated, simply by exploring why something doesnt resonate with you
and bringing some awareness to those conditioned belief systemsputs you on your
way.
This is also a good time for me to mention meditation as its a wonderful
complimentary practice to this approach. Through meditation, our minds begin to
quiet which, in turn, allows new realizations to make their way to our consciousness. It
may not necessarily happen while were formally sitting in meditation itself. But as a
result of gifting our minds some time in quietude, well begin to see it carry over into
our daily lives making it easier for insights and clarity to present themselves at any
given moment throughout the day.
So as we go about our days spending more time in the process of inquiry, well
become clearer on the truths that resonate and serve us and become more deeply
rooted in them.
Well establish a deeper sense of trust in our own intuitionand faith in the process of
lifewhich will guide us exactly as it should, and show us what we need at precisely
the right time.
Our own well being is up to us and no one else. By making the conscious effort to
bring awareness, and inquiry, to our emotional states during the times wed normally
blame someone or thing else, we are regaining control. We are questioning, we are
learning, we are taking the power back.

20

V.
Jesus, Hitler, Bieber, Slayer & Unconditional Non-Duality
You and I are the same. What I have done is surely possible for all. You are the Self now and
can never be anything else. Throw your worries to the wind, turn within and find Peace. ~
Sri Ramana Maharshi
To say I love Hitler as much as Jesus or Justin Bieber as much Slayer is not an easy
thing to do. The moment I say otherwise however, Im coming from a place of nonduality, and trust me, I spend plenty of time coming from that place. I wish I was better
at the non-duality thing, but I do have my moments.
The moments where I am actually not
coming from the ego that is Chris
Grosso, but rather a place of awareness
that recognizes the Divinity in Hitler
and Justin Bieber just as much as in
Jesus and er, um, Slayer (yes, I love
Slayer, and Jesus too, big whoop, wanna
fight about it!?- any Family Guys fans
out there?)
Anyways, Im sure that entire paragraph
may be difficult for many of you to
swallow, and my sorry attempt at
humor may have only made things
worse, but I ask that as I explore nonduality here with you (and I mean
unconditional non-duality), that you
please keep an open mind until youve
finished reading.
One of the most well known scriptures in Buddhism is The Heart Sutra. Within it, there
is a mantra that is said to calm all suffering and bring duality to a place of non-duality.
It is: Gate Gate Paragate Parasamgate Bodhi Svaha (Gone, Gone, Gone Beyond, Gone
Utterly Beyond, Awakened).
So beyond the sense of you, me, ours and theirs, lies one infinite truth, and that truth,
as Ive come to experience, is love, which at its core is what everything emanates from.
Advaita Vedanta is a non-dualistic tradition Ive also learned much from. Advaita
means not two and Vedanta means the end of knowledge and together assert that
absolute reality is beyond our personal perception and cognition, or our ego, which is
21

the lens that the majority of us spend most of our time looking through in our daily
lives.
During times of Samadhi, Satori or pure present moment awareness, however, times
where the ego lens is not blurring our perception, we unite with the pure I which is
absolute awareness and stands alone, allowing us to experience reality in its truest
form, a form which has no room for duality, judgments, separation thoughts and so
forth. Its a place where Justin Bieber is in fact, just as awesome as Slayer. Yes, this is
one hell of a magical place.
This I is unconditional love and knows nothing but love.
It is the love that is the deepest reality of who you, me, Hitler, Christ, Bieber and Slayer
all are. Of course, when were not coming from the place of pure awareness, which
again, is 99.9 percent of the time for most of us, or at least myself, we project labels
and judgments and have our own preferences and so forth, and well, thats just life, it
is what it is.
So with that being said, should we just throw in the towel and go forth mentally
judging and condemning left and right as we see fit?
One of the old school spiritual rebels himself, Christ Jesus cautioned against this when
he said, See that none render evil for evil to any man; but ever follow that which is
good, both among yourselves, and to all men.I Thessalonians 5:15 (Wow, never
thought Id be quoting the Bible in one of my articles so hell possibly hath frozen
over).
So if Jesus, Buddha and all the other illumined teachers taught compassion for all
sentient beings, what are we left to do? The approach Ive found that works best for me
is to look at each day as a classroom, with everyone in it, from friends to family,
strangers and so forth as my teachers. In my heart, I truly believe they are anyways,
but by practicing this, Im cultivating my awareness towards a mindset of open
mindedness and inquisitive compassion rather than one of judgment and separation.
Again, our deepest essence of being is pure Divine Love, as was Hitlers and Jesus and
every other person who has ever walked the face of this earth. I can see some of you
now possibly throwing your arms up in the air frantically over the fact that Im likening
someone of Hitlers stature to that of Jesus, but I ask you though to look deeper than
whats on the surface, or at the very least, recognize the place of judgment and
condemnation youre coming from and explore that, in and of itself a bit deeper.
The material body and ego that was Hitler was a monster and I would never try to say
otherwise. The amount of suffering, horror and death he was responsible for is
incomprehensible, however, the part of me that says he was a monster is my dualistic,
ego nature, the same dualistic, ego nature that says Jesus was an amazing illumined
22

teacher of love and liberation. Those are personal judgments and opinions based on
my dualistic thought system. Some people saw Hitler as a great man while others
condemned Jesus to the death of a blasphemer. Either way, they were all thoughts, and
judgments, based on an egoic, dualistic nature.
If I was coming from a place of pure non-duality, the only thing in my awareness would
be that of an all inclusive love, a love that wouldnt even recognize Hitler or Jesus as
separate beings, because in that place, they arent. Their material bodies have been
laid aside and their true nature is united in the One Source, whether you care to call it
Spirit, Consciousness, Tao, Buddha Nature, Brahman, God or Goddess.
So by doing my best to honor the deeper truth of everyones inherent Divine Love and
nature throughout my day, Im bringing myself to a deeper personal relationship with
that Love as well.
By acknowledging it in another, especially the ones Id rather not, Im setting my ego
self aside, however temporarily, and allowing the pure I that is in me to recognize
and celebrate the Divine Love that its connected to in another, whether its Hitler,
Jesus or otherwise.
The trinity: mind, self and spirit, when looked into, becomes unity. ~
Nisargadatta Maharaj
Id like to wrap this up with a story from Ram Dass book Paths to God which I believe
is a perfect example of the non-dualistic thought system in action.
Ive told this story before, but its worth repeating because it spells out the issue so
beautifully. It concerns a discussion I had with my father (this was back in the early
1970s), about a set of records Id issued called Love, Serve, Remember.
My father said to me, I saw those records you put out. They look great. But I cant
understand: Why are you selling them so cheaply? Youre selling six records for four
and a half dollars? You could probably get fifteen dollars for those records- well, nine,
anyway!
I said, Yeah, Dad, I know, but it only costs us four and a half dollars to produce them.
He asked, How many have you sold?
I said, About ten thousand.
He said, Would those same people have paid nine dollars for them?
I said, Yeah, probably they would have paid nine.
You could have charged nine, he said, and you only charged four fifty? What are you,
against capitalism or something?
23

I tried to think how I could explain it to him. My father was a lawyer, so I said, Dad,
didnt you just try a case for Uncle Henry?
He said, Yeah.
I asked, Was it a tough case?
Oh, you bet. Very tough, he said.
Did you win it?
Yeah, he said, but Ill tell you, I had to spend a lot of time on that damn case. I was at
the law library every night, I had to talk to the judge- it was a very difficult case.
I said, Boy, Ill bet you charged him an arm and a leg for that one! (My father used to
charge pretty hefty fees.)
My father looked at me as if Id gone crazy. He said, What!- Are you out of your
mind?! Of course I didnt charge him- Uncle Henry is family.
I said, Well, Dad, thats my predicament. If you show me anybody who isnt Uncle
Henry, Ill happily rip him off.

24

VI.
Samadhi, Van Halen and Out of the Box Spirituality
Music is my religion. ~ Jimi Hendrix

Most people wouldnt associate profound spiritual experiences with the band Van
Halen, but the following is a perfect example of why when people have preconceived
notions about how spirituality is supposed to be, they may be missing out on some
amazing experiences!
It was roughly seven years
ago when my brother and
I had free tickets to see
Van Halen play the
Mohegan Sun Arena in
Uncasville, Connecticut. I
grew up enjoying Van
Halen (not Van Hagar) and
thought itd be a cool
nostalgic experience to go
see them, especially since
theyd just reunited with
David Lee Roth (yes,
again). All in all, they put
on a hell of a show but the
highlight for me was an
epic 20 minute guitar solo
by Eddie Van Halen.
It was towards the middle of Van Halens set that Eddie began his solo while the other
band members proceeded to leave the stage. As I stood there watching EVHs solo, his
playing intensified, I mean to the point where I found myself literally mesmerized by it.
There was nothing else happening in my reality except his fingers moving on the neck
of his guitar and the notes and sounds they subsequently produced.
It was one the realest moments of Samadhi Ive ever experienced, which came to a
head when around the fifteen minute mark of his solo when I abruptly snapped out of
it as I caught myself beginning to fall into the row of seats in front of me. While of
course I was physically there, every other part of my being was gone, with my body
proceeding to act accordingly by letting itself go. Luckily, I caught myself before
making a complete ass out of myself and knocking anyone over. I watched EVH finish
25

his solo in embarrassed amazement before the rest of the band joined him on stage
and went into their next song.
Trust me when I tell you Im not overly romanticizing this experience at all. One of the
coolest things about it was the fact that Im not even the biggest Van Halen fan and
would have never in a million years seen this experience coming. Of course Van Halen
rocks and are an amazing band, but if I was going to have an experience like this, Id
personally have expected it to happen at a punk/hardcore show where Im more firmly
rooted and connected with the lyrics on a deeper level. It just went to further prove to
me that if Im open minded and in touch with spirituality as it resonates with me in my
own experience, amazing things can happen at any time and anywhere!
The teacher who is indeed wise does not bid you to enter the house of his
wisdom but rather leads you to the threshold of your mind. ~ Khalil Gibran
One of the things I love about spirituality is that its accessible at all times.
I believe that were all completely connected to something greater than ourselves
24/7/365 and that sneaky bastard will find his/her/its way into our heart anyway he/
she/it can as long as were open to it. I think if you were to take a moment and reflect
on the music that moves you, youd be hard pressed not to find at least one, though
most likely many times youve completely lost yourself in it. Maybe it was while you
were out running or riding a bike, at a concert, gardening, skateboarding or driving
regardless of the situation, if you were one with the music, I truly believe you were
having a spiritual experience my friend.
As I previously said, were all completely connected to something greater, and that
connection is established at all times. If youre having trouble relating to music as an
example, lets try film. What are some of the movies that truly moved you, excited you,
brought you to an experience youd never had before in your life? Shouldnt
experiencing something on a deeper level, regardless of its source, be considered
spiritual?
I remember the magic of watching Star Wars for the first time when I was a kid. Its
mythos opened my mind to infinite possibilities that werent being taught in school.
Those films connected me with something more than myself and though I didnt
recognize it as such at the time, seeds were being planted which subsequently
blossomed as my interest in space, physics and all things unknown in general.
I even remember being eight years old when I was on an indoor soccer team. We had a
Friday evening game and I remember being completely jazzed the entire time knowing
that when I got home, CBS was scheduled to play the original Star Wars! That happened
26 years ago and I still remember it like it was yesterday, so how can there not be
something special, something spiritual about that!?
26

Does Barry Manilow know that you raid his wardrobe? ~ John Bender (The Breakfast
Club)
To this day, I will still stop and watch Say Anything, The Breakfast Club or Sixteen
Candles anytime I come across it on TV. Those films are not only nostalgic and take me
back to a special time in my life, but they also touch me on a deep level. Sure, theyre
corny as hell, but theres some powerful messages about self worth, stereotypes,
paradigms and so forth that I can relate to and that I would certainly consider to be in
the spiritual realm.
Life is a classroom and everything in it, music and film included, can be our teacher if
looked at from the right perspective.
I cant stress enough how strongly I believe that were all already connected to a higher
Self and that we are all fucking amazing exactly as we are.
Every one of us is cared for by something greater. Your outer appearance and personal
tastes can never affect this, even if you wanted them to. Sure, you can ignore the love
and guidance thats always availing itself to you, but it will wait patiently for your
awareness to return. Love is, and never changes. Everything is either done from a place
of love, or as a call for love, its really that simple. Seriously, underneath all the
semantics and rationalizing we do, it really is all about love, and allowing that love to
teach us in whatever way it chooses, no matter how unconventional or out of the box it
may seem.

27

VII.
Skateboarding + Ian MacKaye Converge Spirituality=
Four Degrees of Interconnectedness
I never meant to be cruel. Have you ever been cruel? ~ Fugazi

Earlier this year I was honored to interview punk icon Ian MacKaye of Minor Threat/
Fugazi fame. Ian is also co-founder of one of the most famous indie labels ever,
Dischord Records, as well as played in other influential bands including The Teen Idols,
Embrace and The Evans.
Thats a very humble
introduction for someone of
Ian MacKayes stature but for
the purpose of this article, it
will have to do.
As I sat down to contemplate
what I would ask Ian in our
interview, I put on Fugazis
Repeater album to set the
mood. Almost instantly, it took
me back to the early-mid 90s
and the clubs I would frequent
as a young teenager.
I have so many great
memories from those days;
simple things, like the excitement of finally finding that record or CD Id been
searching months through various distros foror skateboarding outside of the club
before the show. Trying to have philosophical discussions about veganism and straight
edge but really sounding like a complete idiot, or jumping on stage and screaming into
the microphone that one line of a song that touched me a little deeper than the rest.
Maybe Im over romanticizing all of this, maybe not.
Those were however, very special times for me, so in the spirit of nostalgia, I decided
that instead of posing all of the questions for Ian myself, Id ask some old school
punk/hardcore friends what theyd like to ask him instead. There were a number of
awesome questions but the one Id like to explore for the purpose of this article was
contributed by Nate Newton of the iconic hardcore band Converge.
28

Nates question was simply:Do you still get on your skateboard and how has
skateboarding influenced your life/ impacted your relationship with punk?
Now, those of you who know anything about Ian MacKaye know he is very detailed
when he speaks, which often leads to short stories rather than simple answers. That
being said, Im only using a portion of his answer that directly relates to this article
below.(If youd like to read the interview in its entirety, you may do so at: http://
theindiespiritualist.com/2012/05/08/mackaye/)
My relationship with skateboarding in the 70s, when I first started, was a way to
develop the ability to redefine the world around me, so skateboarding became a
discipline and everything in the world changed in terms of how it applies to a
skateboard. For instance, the other day I went outside and somebody had dumped a
bunch of water in the alley and it had frozen, so I had the thought, even though I dont
really ride much anymore, but I automatically thought of skateboarding and thats just
how my brain works.
Weather has a different relationship if youre a skateboardersidewalks, swimming
pools, curbs, banks. I was walking in the Washington D.C. subway system and the walls
have a smooth curled transition and theres a railing there and I thought about if I was
to ride up that transition what the compression would be to get to the vertical flat. So
in other words, I think that skateboarding taught me how to look at the world in a
different way and to relate things in terms of how I was going to approach them. ~ Ian
MacKaye
Skateboarding has been a passion of mine since the early 80s, making it easy for me
to relate to Ians explanation of how it changes your world view. While visiting NYC
recently, I thought about Ians statement, as I rode a very congested subway. Instead of
using skateboarding as a reference point however, I used spirituality.
Spirituality has definitely redefined the world and my view of it. Just as Ian (and I) see
things like sidewalks, swimming pools, curbs, banks in relation to skateboarding, I also
see similar everyday thingsand peoplein relation to spirituality.
And, just as Ian contemplated the curled transition and railing in the D.C. subway in
relation to skateboarding, I contemplated my interconnectedness to all the beings
while traveling the subways of New York City.
That can be trickier than it sounds though.
There were, of course, the easy people to relate too, the children smiling haphazardly
about whatever simple wonders caught their attention at that particular moment or the
younger punk and hip hop crowd (real hip hop heads, not radio pop music that is
passed off as hip hopyeah, I said it).

29

But what about the angry man in his fifties wearing a suit and swearing under his
breath at the stupid son of a bitch who accidentally bumped into himor the men
and women dressed to the nines, who were obviously headed to the clubor even the
homeless person half asleep and tucked away in the corner?
Here is where the classroom metaphor really comes into play.
While on the subway, I begin catching myself judging people completely based on
their outward appearancenot thinking that Im better or worse than any of thembut
by reducing them to a label based on appearance. It doesnt matter if its the ones I
feel I can relate to or not; Im still separating them, all of them, by seeing them as
other than myself. Of course, at face value we all have a body, name, personality, all
that fun egoic stuff.
We all have it and Im not saying theres anything wrong with that; its our inherent
nature as humans to fall victim to it.
The obstacle to overcome for me, however, is to come from a place of inclusion, based
on the love that connects us all as much as possible, rather than to come from a place
of exclusion, based on outward, material judgments of separation.
So how in the hell does one attempt to pull that off!?
The two elements which have worked exceedingly well for me are awareness and
compassion.
We begin by bringing conscious awareness to our thoughts throughout the day, by
whatever means work for us.
Maybe were in a situation at work or home where we can have a quiet mindfulness bell
go off every fifteen or thirty minutesor even hourly (you can find a free download of
mindfulness bells from various websites via Google search).
If that doesnt work, you can always go old school and place little reminder sticky
notes around your house or work area, in your pocket or wherever will remind you to
check in and visit any separation thoughts based on judgments you may have recently
had.
This may seem overwhelming at first but even if you start by becoming aware of just
one instance throughout your day, youre already making progress. The more you do
this, the easier it becomes and you wont need the little reminders anymore. Its
seriously like riding a bike and though it may not be as fun as that, over time, it will
absolutely bring you to a place of greater peace throughout your day.
The compassion element is for both yourself and others.

30

Be compassionate towards yourself when you realize you are coming from a place of
judgment. It is very easy to begin mentally condemning ourselves for having these
thoughts, especially since were supposed to be spiritual people, but the fact is, were
practicing, were working from where we are now, towards cultivating greater
awareness and thats what truly matters.
So, again, be compassionate towards yourselfwe have a lot of deep-rooted
conditioning that has been instilled in us since birth, which typically wont disappear
overnight, so be patient.
Compassion towards others, in general, is important because we never truly know what
another person is going through. That stranger sitting across from us, our co-workers,
the cashier at your local store, all of whom may have a miserable demeanor, may have
just lost their job or been dumped or maybe received some very disheartening news
about a family member.
We never really know what anothers internal struggles and battles consist ofbut by
working towards compassion for all beings, were lessening the suffering of humanity
as a whole, ourselves included. Im not saying let someone walk all over you or be a
complete asshole towards you, but as much as possible, do your best to rise above and
offer compassion rather than reaction.
The tongue, like a sharp knife, kills without drawing blood. ~ Buddha
Again, I encourage you to use whatever method facilitates a greater awareness of your
judging and condemning mindits honestly a win-win.
Through having more compassion for others by recognizing our deeper
interconnectedness, youre automatically having compassion for yourself, because
after all, there really is only one of us anyways.
May all beings enjoy happiness and the root of happiness, yourself included.

31

VIII.
Halloween and he Haunted House of our Mind
One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness
conscious. ~ Carl Jung

Since childhood, Ive always loved and been fascinated by Halloween. I remember
sleeping over at friends houses watching the latest installment of A Nightmare on Elm
Street or Friday the 13th, unbeknownst to our parents.
Halloween is a spooky and
magical time. Plus, theres no
shortage of candy, which is a win
in my book. However, its always
been the celebration of the
unknown, which has been the
greatest attraction to it for me.
Halloween is a time we celebrate
the things that frighten us most
whether its creepy spiders, scary
clowns, aliens, politicians,
grotesque monsters, Pee Wee
Herman and so forth. So why is it
that once a year, we come
together in celebration of the
things that normally, most people
consider gross, risqu, or even
sometimes, satanic (who just said
Mitt Romney?)?
Swiss Psychologist Carl Jung
developed the theory of shadow self during his career and in my own personal
experience, that is the closest thing Ive come to reconciling my complete fascination
with Halloween.
Jung taught that our shadow self is the denied aspects of who we are as well as the
social masks we wear. He also taught that by denying these parts of ourselves, we
project them onto others, thus, using them as scapegoats instead of facing our own
unsavory depths. Anytime we feel a strong emotional response to anything outside
ourselves, whether its another person or our environmental surroundings in general,
32

thats the first sign our shadow self is acting up. This is typically followed by criticism
and blame towards those outer elements in order to divert our attention away from the
dirty little parts of ourselves we rather not to acknowledge.
The shadow self acts as a shadow for a reasonit scares us. It represents the things
that go bump in the night, the thing we swore we saw out of the corner of our eye
and the aforementioned monsters that scare us in horror films. The reason the Michael
Myers character in the Halloween film series was nicknamed The Shape was because
he represented all the fears, or shapes, we ignore inside ourselves that were just too
scared to look at.
Through shadow work however, we get to know ourselves better and begin breaking
the chains which have held us captive to many unconscious beliefs and behaviors.
Denial of these aspects has had its time, but now, through facing them, we can begin
to take control of our own well-being.
In a recent interview I did with MC Yogi, he indirectly related his own struggle with
acceptance of shadow self and the importance of overcoming it, not only for himself
but others as well. In the interview, Yogi stated:
When I initially came out with Elephant Power (Yogis first album), I wrote those songs
at a period in my life where I shunned everything that was negative and went as
positive as I possibly could, and those songs were the result. I think those songs were
the necessary process of those initial phases in my writing but now, I feel like its
about integrating more of my past too. Those past experiences that were more
turbulent and traumatic, theyre chock full of wisdom. So now Im going back in myself
and mining all that gold.
So the good news is that through shadow work, were provided a wonderful
opportunity to go deeper inside and begin liberating much of the subconscious
garbage thats been holding us back. Through bringing awareness to these emotional
responses as they arise, we begin to befriend and integrate acceptance of our shadow
selves into our conscious personality, and by doing this, were taking responsibility for
our inner states of well-being, rather than playing the blame game with others. This
integration of our shadow selves will begin to dissolve our subject-object duality and
open us up to entirely new possibilities ofwell-being for ourselves and others.
The shadow is both the awful thing that needs redemption, and the suffering
redeemer who can provide it. ~ Liz Green
Like any good horror movie, shadow work can be scary. It does however hold a key
which can unlock our hearts and minds, allowing us to become more at peace with
ourselves and others throughout the process.
The following are some suggestions to help you in getting started.
33

Approach each day as a classroom, allowing people and circumstances to be teachers

whenever applicable. In doing this, we leave ourselves ripe for growth through
experience. Anytime you become aware of your emotional reactions to someone or
something, go inside and explore your part in it.
Why am I feeling the way I do? What past experiences led me to these emotions?
Again, this can be scary and difficult, but the payoff far exceeds the temporary
discomfort. Work towards reconciling whatever memories come to mind. Allow them to
be as they are, learn from them what you can, and then allow them to go. They have
served their purpose and its time to move on.
Recognition of non-duality is not only key in shadow work, but life in general. Nonduality and unity consciousness is something Ill be going deeper into in another
article, but Ill briefly touch on it here because its relevant. Non-duality, a concept I
first learned of through the teachings of Sri Ramana Maharshi, is taught in sects of
Hinduism, Buddhism, my own personal path, A Course in Miracles and is also
supported scientifically by quantum physics and others.
According to quantum physics, were all energetically made up from the same stuff; we
just freeze at different vibrational levels. That may sound crazy to some of you, but
everything at its core, whether its you, me, your car, or favorite book, are all made of
the same stuff.
The Buddhas statement, Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the
other person to die is deeper than its often taken at face value. So in knowing that
were all connected at our deepest core, we begin to realize that by projecting our
subconscious shadow stuff onto others, were also projecting it onto ourselves and
thus, continuing a vicious cycle. So the next time we find ourselves in a place where
were ready to lash out, wed be wise to step back a moment, breathe and look at our
part in the situation.
And why do you look at the speck in your brothers eye, but do not consider the
plank in your own eye? ~ Christ Jesus
There will always be struggles, judgments and sides, but as we begin to take
ownership of our part in the process, we begin to heal. Let others play their parts and
do what they will and we can begin taking responsibility for our own.
The abyss of our primal minds need no longer be in charge. We can set fire to them,
allowing their ashes to dance in joyous freedom while descending back to the earth. In
doing so, we can stuff our faces with Halloween candy and watch scary movies while
resting in the awareness that if we, in fact, decide to go on a murderous rampage, at
least now well be doing so with a clear and conscious mind. Er, um, I mean, with a

34

clear and conscious mind we can be happy, joyous and free, yeah, thats it, happy,
joyous and free.

35

IX.
Triumphant Life Fuck Ups & How Loving-Kindness Can
Help
To be beautiful means to be yourself. You dont need to be accepted by others. You need to
accept yourself. ~ Thich Nhat Hanh
I spent the greater part of my life not being beautiful, not being myself. Sure, I had
core beliefs, morals and all the other
external things that gave me a sense of
self, but I had very little idea of who I
really was. I began getting pierced at 16
and tattooed at 18, which was the
earliest I legally could do so in my state.
It was around Junior High that I began
becoming aware that I didnt believe I,
as myself, was enough. I needed
something more to make me feel
special, or like I had something to offer.
I know it probably sounds weird that
something like piercings and tattoos
made me feel that way, but they did. It
wasnt long however, before they failed
to give me that false sense of self
confidence and worth theyd
temporarily provided. (*Note- I still get
tattooed today and am in no way
against them. Today however, my
experience is different than before.)
From piercings and tattoos, I moved on to drug and alcohol experimentation, abuse
and finally, addiction. During that part of my life, I was rushed to the emergency room
easily over two dozen times and was subsequently left with plenty of mental and
physical scars as reminders. Ive also been hospitalized twice in psychiatric facilities for
attempting suicide. Granted they were feeble attempts, which were more of a call for
help than anything but still, they were serious enough to have me institutionalized. I
have woken up in jail cells not knowing how I got there on more than a few occasions. I
have used, lied, manipulated and inflicted so much pain on family, friends, girlfriends
and strangers that at times, its almost unbearable to face.
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I have spent the better part of my life not being beautiful, but I am not a victim
and this isnt about me writing for sympathy.
This isnt about some sappy, Hollywood story where things magically turn around and
life becomes perfect after finding my way out of active addiction. You see, theres still
very much a part of myself that is rooted in the darkness of my past, and all the shit
thats buried from years of selfish, self-destructive behavior. Sure, its important to
focus on the better things of today, but its also highly irresponsible for me to ignore
and pretend like the wreckage of the past isnt still taking up residence inside.
It is only when we realize that life is taking us nowhere that it begins to have
meaning. ~ Ouspensky
If I truly care about myself today, and honestly care about trying to help others through
my writing, then I have to be completely honest about whats inside. Its not all
darkness by any means, but the dissociation of the things Id rather forget about and
pretend werent there will do no one any good. If I am to be truly responsible for
myself, then I have to accept that discomfort and acknowledge the aspects of myself
that scare the shit out of me and make my heart sink. That is where true healing
begins.
I can tell you that today life is beautiful more of the time than its not. I can say that.
But I recognize that Im only able to say that because Ive spent a lot of time working
on cultivating the qualities of loving-kindness and compassion for myself. It may
sound selfish that Ive worked on cultivating those qualities first and foremost for
myself, but I had to face the hard truth that while Ive always believed myself to be a
typically compassionate person towards others, (with the exception of my time in
active addiction,) the majority of it was a faade. Ive never maliciously wanted to hurt
others, even while using, but as much as Id like to think Ive always wanted the best
for them, if I was coming from a place where I didnt care about myself, how could I
truly care for them?
When Im coming from a place where I really dont care about my own well being, what
does that say about my own mental state? If Im at a place where I really dont like
myself, the self I base all my judgments and perceptions from, how then can I honestly,
from the bottom of my heart, offer someone else compassion and loving kindness?
After looking very thoroughly at that, I can honestly say that at least for me, its not
possible.
If Im wishing others happiness and the root of happiness, yet not including myself,
who are my aspirations really helping? If Im coming from a place of pain and suffering,
of self-loathing, then how sincere can my loving-kindness and compassion be towards
another? How can I give what I dont have in the first place?

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Loving-kindness and compassion toward myself has been the most difficult area to
work with since Ive embarked on the spiritual path, but Ive come to recognize that
they are absolutely essential. A big part of this recognition hit me like a ton of bricks
one day while I was contemplating non-duality. This may sound ridiculously obvious
and simple, but it really was a huge aha moment for me.
As I sat contemplating my interconnectedness to all beings, I began thinking about the
people whom Im wasnt particularly fond of, the people both directly and indirectly in
my life--acquaintances, family, politicians, conservatives, racists, sexists,
homophobes. Then, laying my own judgments aside on focusing strictly on love, I
extended loving-kindness to them all from the sincerest depths of my heart. Things all
came crashing however, when an image of myself appeared in my mind.
I immediately felt my body tense up as I shrieked back from the imagery, which was
followed almost instantly by a sense of calm and deep recognition. I realized that if I
truly believed in the interconnectedness of all beings, and that at our core, were all
love, (which I do thanks to the ancient Rishis of India, Quantum Physicists of today and
most importantly, my own personal experiences), then who was I to exclude myself?
How was it, that in my mind, God, The Universe, Buddha, Krishna, Christ
Consciousness, whatever you care to call it, that the Divines Love was applicable to
everyone, literally everyone, except me? If we really are all One, then who the hell am I
to make an exception for myself from Gods Love?!
I also realized that, when Im condemning myself mentally for my past actions,
on a deeper level, Im condemning you too.
Thats not to say Im not responsible for keeping my side of the street clean, and you
yours, because we all play just as integral of a role in this as the other, however, in
order for me to do my part, I have to forgive myself. I have to learn to truly offer myself
as much compassion and loving-kindness as I can muster so that I can share it with
you and we can heal together, because at the deepest possible level, when I heal, we all
heal. When you heal, we all heal. Through healing our wounds, we lessen the tight grip
of our ego nature and are able to begin coming from a place of unity rather than
separation, a place where we have our best interest in mind.
I dont want to live separated anymore.
I want to see past our exteriors. I want to see directly into the light that is the real you,
the light that is shining so brightly that it blinds my heart with the bliss of
remembrance. And I want to see past even that, I want to see through it and remember
that we are past it. We are through it. I just have to remember. Remember that I am,
and you are and we are. We are Love. We are God. We are Buddha. We are Christ. We
are Krishna and Mohammed and Gandhi and Mother Theresa and at the same time, we
are all the people we mentally condemn too, because whos really condemning who?
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Namastethe divine in me salutes the divine in you. Well, where do you draw the line?
You cant, because thats cheating.
The Divine that is in us is nothing but love, and thats the same exact Divine love that
is in every other sentient being that ever has been, and ever will be. So who are we to
decide whos worthy of this love and who isnt?! Love does not judge, love does not
condemn, love does not choose, love simply is, and when were truly at a place where
were in touch with that love, we also will neither judge, nor condemn or choose. Love,
kindness, compassion, forgiveness, healingtheyre only as hard as we make them.

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About the Author

Chris Grosso is the Spiritual Director of the
interfaith center The Sanctuary at
Shepardfields, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit land
preserve that offers educational resources for
personal transformation, community evolution,
and environmental restoration
(www.oursanctuary.org). Chris is responsible
for organizing and facilitating weekly interfaith
meditations and discussion groups, and
organizing special eventsand overseeing the
general spiritual well-being of the The
Sanctuary.
After years of studying various spiritual paths,
Chris took his Bodhisattva vows during a
Medicine Buddha ceremony in 2007, as
transmitted from Venerable Khensur Rinpoche
Lobsang Tenzin, who received the initiation
from H.H. the Dalai Lama before being
appointed as Abbot of H.H.s Namgyal
Monastery in Dharamsala, India. Chris has since gone on to devote the majority of his
practice to the disciplines of A Course in Miracles and Advaita Vedanta, with a
complementary exploration of quantum mechanics and metaphysics.
Chris is also a freelance writer whose work has been featured in The Hartford
Advocate and The New Haven Advocate, including narrative pieces on Kaki King,
improvisational and sketch comedy group The Upright Citizens Brigade, alternative
metal band the Deftones, and others. He is also a featured writer at
elephantjournal.com and has contributed many guest blog posts to various other
websites as well.
Chriss main writing endeavor, however, is his work with his website The Indie
Spiritualist (www.theindiespiritualist.com). Since the sites inception in 2010, Chris
has interviewed an eclectic mix of individuals from the worlds of spirituality, film,
music, neuroscience, art, comedy, and more. One of the more notable individuals
featured is successful singer-songwriter Aimee Mann, who is also known for writing
the soundtrack to the film Magnolia, which garnered nominations for an Oscar, a
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Golden Globe, and three Grammys. Also featured is Chriss interview with punk music
icon/actor/author/TV and radio show host Henry Rollins (Black Flag and Rollins Band),
as well as his interview with Comedy Central Roast Master Lisa Lampanelli. The site
also features interviews with some of todays leading bands, hip hop artists, and solo
performers, including Ministry, Deftones, Ian MacKaye (Fugazi and Minor Threat),
Atmosphere, Aesop Rock, Kaki King, and Concrete Blonde. Chriss site also presents
interviews with skateboarding icons Mike Vallely and Christian Hosoi, actors Danny
Trejo (Heat, Machete, Spy Kids), Demetri Martin (Taking Woodstock, Important Things
with Demetri Martin), Scout Taylor-Compton (The Runaways, Rob Zombies Halloween I
and 2), and many more.
And, of course, The Indie Spiritualist website also offers interviews with individuals
from the world of spirituality and science, including Dr. Robert Thurman (author and
professor of Indo-Tibetan Studies at Columbia University), Betsy Chasse (co-creator of
What the [Bleep] Do We Know!?), Father Thomas Keating (author, board member of Ken
Wilbers Integral Institute, Trappist monk), Dr. Joe Dispenza (neuroscientist and author
featured in What the [Bleep] Do We Know!?), Brother Brahmananda of Paramhansa
Yoganandas Self-Realization Fellowship, and even Peter H. Gilmore, high priest of the
Church of Satan.
Chriss fusion of the ideas of such well-respected people from their varying fields
in this forum has earned him respect among individuals from both the world of
independent culture and that of spirituality. Its Chriss vision to continue bridging the
gap between these two worlds, thus making spirituality more accessible to
independent seekers such as himself.
As a self-taught musician who plays drums, bass, and guitar, Chris has been
writing, recording, and touring with independent bands since the mid-90s. While these
bands never broke into mainstream status, Chris did have the opportunity to play as
part of the opening act for a few of his musical icons, including Dashboard
Confessional, Agnostic Front, and even Nuno Bettencourt of the band Extreme. Chriss
most notable musical contributions are his guest vocal appearances on Wrench in the
Works albums The Lost Art of Heaping Coal (on the songs Tonight Is War, Pale Fire,
Death Letter; Facedown Records, August 2008) and Decrease/Increase (on the songs
Project AK-47 and Gethsemane; Facedown Records, March 2010), both of which can
be found at most major music retailers across the country
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(www.facedownrecords.com). Currently, Chris makes up of the 2 piece band Womb

Of The Desert Sun (http://wombofthedesertsun.bandcamp.com/) as bass player and
vocalist. Chris also plays drums for Yoga Teacher Alanna Kaivalyas Kirtan sessions and
recently played Kripalu in Stockbridge, MA and the 2012 Yoga Journal Conference in
Estes Park, CO.

Connect with Chris Grosso Online

www.theindiespiritualist.com
Facebook: Facebok.com/XchrisGrossoX
Twitter: Twitter.com/XchrisGrossoX
Youtube: Youtube.com/user/drawingstatic

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