Social situations are among the most important in our lives.

Yet, there is a huge chance that you are

oblivious to the plethora of unwritten social rules that structure everybodys behaviour. Failing to
comply to these cultural imprints can cause irreversible damage. Just following them blindly will not
get you ahead. Hacking them, however, will give you the best results possible. Therefore we bring to
you these 25 psychological life hacks that will help you gain the advantage in social
situations

1) Assume comfort in any interaction.

Our brain is an incredibly complicated instrument. Our relationship with it, is a love-hate one. We
think we have control over it but usually something unconscious dictates our actions.
In most of our social interactions, we find it difficult to feel comfortable among strangers because our
brain tries to protect us from exposure.
This however isnt helping us when trying to be social and meet new people, is it?
This is why assuming comfort is so powerful. Commanding your brain to feel that you already know
the person you are about to meet puts you in a position of advantage. It increases the chances of
people showing interest in you and consequently even liking you.

2) Pay attention to peoples feet when you are

approaching them.
Interrupting people when they are in the middle of an important conversation is one of the most
annoying things to do. It shows that you have zero knowledge of social dynamics which will lead to
unpleasant social situations.
When you approach a group of people while in a conversation, pay attention to their bodies. If they
turn only their torsos and not their feet, it means they are in the middle of an important conversation
and they dont want you to interrupt them.
If they turn both torso and feet, it means you are welcome. This is extremely important, because the
right timing in such situations may put you in a position of advantage, especially if the conversation
was boring for both sides.

3) Whenever you have an argument with

someone, stand next to them and not in front
of them.
Weve all been in situations where out of nowhere the conversation started escalating.
Unless you love drama, I would suggest you to avoid these situations. You might have the best
argument in the world, but usually people get irritated when they feel they are wrong.
So, whenever you feel that the argument you have with another person (especially friends its not
cool to fight with friends) creates tension, move next to them. You wont appear much of a threat, and
they will eventually calm down.

4) Whenever you need a favor, open with I

need your help.
Admit it. We all love to get others to do stuff for us. Either because we are lazy, or because we really
need some help to complete a task.
Social dynamics show that when it comes to platonic relationships, nobody really likes an asshole. So
whenever you need a favor, start your sentence with I need your help.
In most cases, people will accept your request and help you out. This occurs because we dont really
like the guilt of not helping someone out and we do like to be the one who is capable of helping.

5) If you want people to feel good, give them

validation. Rephrase what they just told you.
We love validation. Most of our actions are the outcome of our need for validation. So what is the best
way to get people to like you? Give them what they need of course. A simple example, is when you are
in a conversation with another person and he says something really important for him. After he
finishes, rephrase what he just said in your own words. This will make him think that you are a good
listener and that you are really interested in him. It makes him feel he is the center of attention. Thats
validation right there.

Why Life Hacks Dont Work If You Dont Get Your Shit Together First

6) If you want to get a positive response from

someone, nod while you talk.

This one is extremely powerful and also a bit manipulative especially if the person is suggestive. So use
it with your own responsibility and in an ethical way. Getting a positive response from someone is
usually what we want. Whether it is making a sale, or promoting a viewpoint, we always want people
to get on board. Nodding while you try to deliver your message is a powerful way to get the person to
agree with you. People usually like mimicking, so they will most probably nod back while you talk.
This will subsequently communicate to their brains that they have to agree with you.

7) Want to see if someone is paying attention

to what you are saying? Fold your arms.
Usually when we are in the middle of a conversation and especially if we talk about something very
important to us, we get lost in our talking and rarely pay attention to whether the other person is
following or not. So instead of losing time talking to a person who is distracted and might not even be
interested in what you are saying, do this. Fold your arms while talking and see if the other person
follows your move. If the other person is observing you and pays attention, they will most likely mimic
you.

8) Having trouble remembering names? Repeat

the other persons name during the
conversation.
I suck at remembering names. I usually dont even listen to the other person when he says his name
the moment we get introduced to each other. So usually, I ask a friend to introduce himself to the
person so I can listen to his name. But then I forget it again. Awkward. Remembering names is very
important because we feel important when someone mentions us. So the moment you meet someone
repeat his name. Example: Hi my name is Alex Nice to meet you Alex. So, Alex how do you know
John? And continue to repeat his name throughout the conversation.

9) If you ask someone a question and they only

partially answer, just wait. They will keep
talking.
This is a very common situation when you dont know the other person that well or your question
wasnt clear enough. If they finish the answer without providing a full answer, just wait. Stay silent
and keep eye contact. If the tension becomes unbearable, raise your eyebrows. It puts a bit of pressure
on them but it communicates that you show interest. It also sub-communicates that you are a person
that usually gets what he wants.

10) People usually focus on the emotion and

not on the subject.
This is very useful in public speaking but also in building rapport with an acquaintance. Whenever you
introduce yourself to new people, most probably they have already heard what you are about to say.
Well thats not a problem. Even if you want to talk about the most boring topic in the world, make sure
of one thing: Always try to evoke emotions. From my experience the 3 emotions that you want to
evoke are: Excitement Laughter: Everyone likes to laugh Intrigue: Leave a little mystery so the
other person has to invest energy to hear more. Dont be purposely distant, but avoid verbal diarrhea.
There are many techniques to turn a boring conversation into an exciting and
intriguing one, but here are a couple of my favorites:
Pause: A lot of the time when we want to keep someones attention, we tend to

talk really fast, but this subcommunicates neediness and nervousness. A well-placed pause
can create tension that makes your words have more gravitas.
Tone and Inflection: No one finds monotone exciting. Switch up your tone of

voice from deep for declarative statements, to high inflection when you want to leave them
guessing.

Paint pictures and compose symphonies in their mind with sensory details:
When telling a story, take the person youre talking to on an emotional journey by
describing the colors, sounds, textures, tastes, smells, and how they made you feel. This will

cause their mirror-neurons to fire off, making it easier for them to imagine actually being
there with you.
So if you want to be memorable, focus on the emotion behind the words. People may forget what you
say, but they will never forget how you make them feel.

READ: 8 Ways to be UBER Charismatic

11) Confidence is more important than

knowledge.
Two young candidates walked into the interview office to apply for the same job. The first one had a
Phd, two Masters and a Bachelors degree. The second one had just a Bachelor. The first one was kind
of shy, didnt talk much, his body language was turned inward. The second one had an upright
posture, was looking the interviewers directly in the eyes, showed a lot of interest in the job and his
answers where emitting confidence. We dont have to tell you who got the job.

12) Fake it until you make it.

No one became an expert on anything over night. However, the learning process in everything you do
is accelerated by commanding your brain to think what you want it to think. In simple words. You are
what you believe you are. You are confident if you believe you are confident You are attractive if
you believe you are attractive You are extrovert if you believe you are extrovert If you want to look
deeper into this idea look up two words. Neuroplasticity andbrain rewiring.

13) Pose in a Power Stance.

This is similar to the previous point, but more concrete than a mantra or belief. Go stand in the
mirror, put your hands on your hips, thrust your pelvic forward, pull your shoulders up, back and
down, open your chest, tilt your head up, and force the biggest smile you can possibly manage to fit
across your face. Even if you consciously know youre just faking it, your brain cant tell the difference,
and will release endorphins to match your body position. This can feel silly, but it really works.

14) If you want to be persuasive, try and reduce

the use of the words I think and I believe.

I dont really feel the need to elaborate on this one. Obviously these words do not evoke confidence
and the other person will most probably not take you seriously. Change them to I know and I will
instead.

15) A clean and organised environment affects

your mood, productivity, and others perception
of who you are.
How many times have you waken up without any motivation at all? How many times have you started
working on something without being able to get focused and inspired? Next time this happens, take a
look around you. Is your environment clean and well-organized? If not, take some minutes to clean it
up and put everything into place. You will feel refreshed and reborn and productivity will spark
immediately. But not only that, you will come across as caring and punctual, two highly esteemed
traits. Why do think most of the big companies pay so much attention to creating the best working
environment for their employees? They know what makes them happy and how it affects their
productivity.

16) Want to find out which people are close to

each other within a group and who is perceived
as the leader?
Pay attention to who is looking at each other when everyone in the group laughs at a joke. People
instinctively look at and agree with the person they feel closest to within the group.

17) Whenever you call a person you want to

meet, show excitement!
Always have this in mind. Excitement is contagious. Why do you think the music video from Pharrell
Williams Happy got so many views and so many people were talking about it?
People love excitement! It is like an escape from their boring lives. Never forget that.

(You can mirror this and show disappointment if somebody lets you down, making them painfully
aware of their hurtful actions.)

18) Want to build rapport and gain respect?

Match body language.
This is quite a common topic among body language experts and works well if you want to gain respect
from a person that has high value.
Example:
You are in a social situation where a person has higher value among others within the group. He is the
center of attention and he totally enjoys it. How do you match his value? By befriending him!
If you want his respect and attention the best thing to do when you approach him is to match his body
language and speaking patterns. If he has open body language and he talks with excitement and joy,
dont go there with crossed arms and with an attitude of negating his words.
Approach him with the same amount of excitement and show openness and interest.

19) When someone insults you, either ignore

him or mock him. Never lose temper. Always
control the frame.
Haters are everywhere. The more you feed them with hate, the stronger they become. Never lose your
temper. This is a great example of how to deal with a hater. Enjoy!

19) Stand up straight, have warm hands and

always keep eye contact.
Keep a straight posture and walk like a born leader. This sub-communicates confidence and others
will respect you automatically.
Keep your hands out of your pockets. If you dont know what to do with them, it is better to fold your
arms rather than keep them inside your pockets.
Keep your hands warm. If you have a warm hand when you shake somebodys hand, you
immediately become a more desirable person to get along with. Secret Tip wash your hands with

warm water often to keep them warm ortake cold showers.

You have heard this a thousand times. Here is the 1001st. never lose eye contact! Losing eye
contact is like losing your confidence. One cool trick when first meeting someone is to focus on their
eye color and smile at the same time. The eyes are the gateway to the soul, and taking the extra second
to gaze shows you are confident and present. (Be sure to move your eyes away periodically, a constant
stare will creep people out.)

20) The Benjamin Franklin Effect.

The Ben Franklin effect is a psychological finding:
A person who has done someone a favor is more likely to do that person another favor than they
would be if they had received a favor from that person. Similarly, one who harms another is more
willing to harm them again than the victim is to retaliate.
This is an unbelievable finding. In social situations, you can hack this by making someone do
something small for you, then asking for your true favor. Its such a small favor that they will say yes,
and due to cognitive dissonance their brain will rationalize that they must like you enough to do you a
favor in the first place. This is also called the foot-in-the-door effect.

21) Dont be afraid to touch another person.

Touching someone on the shoulder or their knees creates an emotional and physical bond. Especially
during moments of joy, laughter and excitement touching positively reinforces these traits. If youre
uncomfortable with touching, remember 12, fake it until you make it.

22) Use the door-in-the-face hack.

The opposite of foot-in-the-door. Make an unreasonably large request that will most likely be turned
down (but if it isnt then thats even better!), and follow up with your true intended, more reasonable
request. The other person will be more likely to agree to the second request.

23) Always frame a request as a choice.

No one likes to feel pressured into doing something they dont want to do. By subtlety rephrasing a
request, you can make the person feel like they came to the decision on their own terms.
Homeless people who say things like, its up to you if you want to donate or not end up making more
money than those who simply ask for money. The same is generally true for bands that offer pay what
you want payment structures for their music. They know you can easily download their music for free
off the internet, so they encourage you to pay what you feel is right.

A slightly more aggressive technique is the assumptive close:

This is a classic sales technique that can be used in any social situation. Instead of asking for
permission, do you want to donate/go on a date/get something to eat assume that the person
already does. Of course, you cant just force someone to do something, but a leading question can
nudge them in the right direction: Would you like to donate 5 dollars or 10 dollars?
Now instead of simply saying yes or no, they have to actively deny your request and feel like a
naysayer.

24) If you work in a bar or in customer service

of any kind
Put a mirror behind you at the counter. When an angry customer approaches you, he will have to see
himself in the mirror and will most probably calm down. Nobody likes ruining his image.

25) Chew gum if you are nervous.

Evolutionarily speaking, our brains assume that if we are eating then we arent in any immediate
danger, so the fight or flight response is weakened.