Professional Documents
Culture Documents
Do you travel overseas in business? Does your company have partners in other countries? Do you feel sometimes confused about how to
negotiate with people from other cultures? Do you teach international
business? If your answer to any of these questions is yes, this book is a
must for you! Comprehensive approach, firsthand experience, solid
theoretical base, practical suggestionseveryone will find something
valuable here.
Dr. Krzysztof Gluc, vice president, Wyzsza Szkola Biznesu, Poland
This book is bound to work for people who work in an environment of diversity of cultures. It provides wisdom that can benefit people
who work with people from other countries. It is helpful to read from
time to time.
Charles Wang, a business consultant in China
C atherine Lee
Franklin Lakes, NJ
Dedic
ation
Dedica
This book is dedicated to my dear husband, Timothy, and to my
children Stephen, Andrea, Cassie, and Moira.
To Timothy for consistently giving a positive response to my every
doubt or fear, and to my children for supporting every effort of mine as
if it already was a success. And to Quin, John, Cortney, and Andy for
being there with confidence in my work when I questioned its purpose.
Without the caring of each of them, my contribution would be shallow
and meaningless.
Acknowledgments
To Alicia Karapetian for her editing and support through the unknown.
For their contribution to the snapshots of various countries, Id like to
thank: Dr. Sharon Badenhop, consultant and professor, Rochester
Institute of Technology; Camilo Escobar, senior manager, BP, Bogota,
Colombia; Dr. Krysztof Gluc, vice director, Wyzsza Szkola Biznesu
[WSB], the business university in Novy Sacz and Krakow, Poland;
Gary Jamison, principal, Jamison Group and affiliate, Japan Intercultural
Consulting; Rasheed Ahmed, vice president, EXENSYS, India in the
United States, Ramonda Talkie, colleague in development of the negotiation process, John Willig, a literary agent who reflects the best in
the negotiating style, and Chang Lu Wang, business consultant, Beijing,
China.
Contents
Foreword
Introduction
13
25
Close-Up of Asia
Snap-shot of China
Chapter 2: Competition is Kingand Queen
39
Snapshot of Japan
Chapter 3: The Gated Community:
Corporate America Lives Here
49
73
85
Snapshot of Poland
Chapter 6: Build a Trustworthy Relationship:
The Trust Model
103
119
Snapshot of India
Chapter 8: The Charismatic Multi-national:
Lending a Hand to Neighbors vs. Managing
a Business Arrangement
Close-Up of Latin America
Snapshot of Colombia
139
157
163
Snapshot of Argentina
Chapter 11: The Mandate: A Blueprint of the Dance Floor
173
Snapshot of Chile
Chapter 12: Common Ground: Cultural and Contextual
187
Snapshot of Venezuela
Chapter 13: Building Trust: Vulnerability and Consistency
205
219
231
239
259
Index
267
272
Foreword
Foreword
10
Foreword
negotiations that is valued in Chicago or Dallas may come across as
arrogant and defeatist in the boardrooms of Shanghai or Bombay.
This brings me to this excellent book by Catherine Lee, The Rules
of International Negotiation: Building Relationships, Earning Trust, and
Creating Influence Around the World.
A top management consultant and negotiations expert who has provided senior counsel to global companies such as General Motors,
Milwaukee Insurance, BP (Amoco), and Korea Telecom, Ms. Lees
book correctly focuses on the need for business executives to bring
cultural sensitivity and understanding to the negotiating table.
This book, which grew out of a series of presentations Ms. Lee gave
to Motorolas World Wide Management Group, is timely and relevant
given the increasingly global business environment in which people work.
Having been fortunate enough to participate in Ms. Lees presentations and to have read this book, I can say that Ms. Lee injects some
much needed empathy, insight, and thoughtfulness into the realm of
Corporate America. Using a series of anecdotes that are familiar and
relatable, Ms. Lee makes a compelling case for business professionals
to look at the wants and needs of the customer before their own, and to
see people with whom theyre negotiating as human beings rather then
adversaries.
The book looks long and hard at business practices and cultural
priorities around the world including China, where Ms. Lee has spent
much of her professional career and where many U.S. executives increasingly find themselves conducting business. The examination of
China draws comparisons to U.S. business practices and negotiating
techniques, and offers some valuable lessons.
They key learnings I took away from this book are the importance
of respecting customers enough to learn about their country, customs,
and culture, and to focus on relationships that will lead to long-term
success rather than a one-shot deal. In fact, without a solid relationship
even a one-shot deal has a minimal chance of success.
I strongly recommend this book, and encourage each of you to keep
an open mind and learn from Ms. Lees experience and wisdom. Apart
11
12
Introduction
Introduction
13
14
Introduction
trained me in assessments and their intended results. It was the best
experience that anyone could have to formalize their learningfirsthand observation and an opportunity to elicit immediate feedback.
In November 1990, I left for Hong Kong. I was petrified by the
thought of standing in front of businessmen from every different country in the Pacific Rim and instructing them in leadership and management skills. I worried about whether they would understand me, or my
off-center sense of humor. I didnt know if my woman-ness would affront them, or if their cultural bias would offend me. I wanted to be
knowledgeable in every aspect of their culture. I almost couldnt talk
the first day because my mouth had the dryness of fear, of ignorance,
and of inexperience. Now, I have that same feeling when I have to facilitate a group of white Americans from the corporate culture. With
the diverse groups, I have the vast lenience of every other culture.
The participants in many of the sessions, if asked respectfully, would
tell me the agenda of a typical workday in their country. Many times in
the cross-cultural groups we would use an agenda from a different country
each day. It kept change a respectable force in our sessions.
The unexpected benefit was often seeing more clearly the values of
a new and different culture. I worked several times with a group of
software developers in Turin, Italy. I once mentioned I would love to
see the Shroud of Turin. Its put on display for the public only every 25
years. The year was 2000! A couple of the engineers decided to take me.
By the time word got out, about 27 of them went with me. Afterward,
we all went to a restaurant to eat, drink, and discuss the validity of the
shroud as that of Jesus Christ, or of any other man of 2,000 years ago.
I realized later that evening that I was at the end of my fifties and no
one in the group was older than 35 years old.
The engineers had always included me in dinners after work, their
regular Wednesday night parties, and at lunch. I began to see the differences in a cultures values and their priority. Age wore a softer face
in Turin, Italy, and young people searched out an older persons opinion, judgment, and support. Later, I discovered firsthand that age is
honored and loved in China. In China, I was more deserving of their
respect because I was older.
15
16
Introduction
was the beginning, yet the establishment of trust, the basis for a long
term relationship required some behavioral modifications to the United
States style for doing business.
Negotiation is inherent to doing business globally. Today working
side by side with four or five cultures has become the normin the
United States and across the world. This study brought me back to a
simple understanding that you cant change someone elses behavior.
Being married for 40 years, dedicating every effort to change my spouse,
should have chiseled this in my brain and my heart much earlier. One
can only change ones own behavior, and we do it many times in a day
depending on who walks in the room or which child in the family were
reprimanding.
This book develops within an objective to make you aware enough
to want to change your behaviors as a businessperson, so that you will
be able to negotiate and influence in a veritable global marketplace. Its
not stating that other cultures dont have their hang ups in the way they
behaveits stating we cant change their behavior, but we can certainly influence them by changing some of the ways we work with other
cultures, including our own.
This is not primarily a do-and-dont book taking you through a variety of cultures. Although snapshots of regions and several countries
they house are included, the emphasis is on how to work and negotiate
well with all cultures. The background and cultural considerations of
emerging markets serve as an introduction to the country and its customs. Most important, it is a guideline for how to work within different
cultures, using a universal base for building trust and earning the right
to influence. It doesnt negate the value of the dos and donts, yet it
emphasizes the skills and behaviors that will convince someone to listen to you. It then includes stories and examples of what will show
another culture that you value their traditions enough to clumsily and
awkwardly bow or read their business card. Its the clumsy and the
awkward that are important. This book identifies ways to modify the
accepted U.S. business style to a more universally and respectfully accepted style in order to better negotiate and influence in other more
mature cultures.
17
18
Introduction
you, the reader, to the most specific and smallest action to work on. The
impact of these small behaviors on the other person is grand. This recognition of behavior and impact gives you something to do now, to generate
change and to influence the other side to move toward solution. Trying
to change your attitude or belief takes a lifetime, whereas changing your
own behavior or expectation of another can be immediate and could eventually have a positive effect on your attitude or belief.
The New Rules of International Negotiation focuses on the behavioral
aspect of negotiating. Behaviors include both the planning and the strategic parts of negotiating. Behaviors are a strong part of strategy; in fact
they often determine the effect of your strategy. In essence, asking, summarizing, and building become the rules for successfully negotiating. These
influencing behaviors also solidify a style for working well in most business and social interactions. There are two standard rules that are constant and determine your level of success. The first rule is a consistent
practice of the Strategic Virtuescommerce of good actions, which
design the framework for trust. The second rule is to use the Influencing
Behaviors, the specific, small verbal behaviors become a strategy for
maintaining trust and building relationships.
Asia
China
India
Korea
Japan
Hong Kong
Eastern Europe
Poland
Russia
19
South America
Colombia
Venezuela
Brazil
Chile
Argentina
United States
I have worked around the world and I have observed many richly
different cultures. It has taken me 17 years to note well the classical
norms of principles and values, and the exclusivity of cultural traditions
and customs. It is difficult to isolate and recognize every countrys distinctions in culture, just as it is for mea born citizen of the United
States. The north, south, east, and west regions each have distinguishing,
cultural characteristics. If I described one area as common for all areas,
I would probably be wrong 75 percent of the time. Whatever I present
about the countries, it is only a small piece of who they are, gleaned from
my experiences, which further influences, one way or the other, the general statement of culture. It was easier for me to find the commonalities
(such as common ground in a negotiation), get comfortable with what we
shared, and then move together to an understanding of our differences.
Once we got on the same side of the multicultural table, I could pursue
the differences, discover their distinct values, and then together choose
the best solution for the issue being negotiated. The benefits of the process were worth far more than the initial investmentpeak in productivity, better relationships, and more long-term business.
Every country has a culture exclusively its owna culture rich in
traditions and customs, that, when understood, can show different values, strengths, and purposes. To work in a collaborative effort requires
an understanding of and appreciation for these cultural differences. It
also requires the flexibility to use the others strengths when the situation is conducive and appropriate (or when the situation is low risk and
perhaps not the best, but is worth forfeiting the best for adequate to
show a willingness to do it their way to fortify the relationship).
20
Introduction
Many of the suggestions that are given for how to work better with
those in one country are appropriate and effective when working with
many countries, including the United States. These suggestions are given
on the assumption of sincerity. For example, one of the suggestions
given for Colombia, South America: citizens are proud of their country, so compliment it. That would work for most countries. If you compliment a country for its natural beauty and substantiate it with a specific
accolade, such as, Bogotas mountains and flora make it appealing
year round or, Your weather keeps one motivated year round. Your
sincerity is felt. If you tell them, Great country you have or, Nice
country, seems to work well with so many different people could be
considered as patronizing. Your accent is much easier to understand
than many Ive heard beforeouch!! Sincerity stops you from being
or from sounding patronizing. When you want to appear appreciative
or accepting, it is easy to fall into sounding patronizing. Avoiding general statements and repetition of statements could prevent a perceived
insincerity.
Though I single out certain expectations of one country, the same
expectations could easily apply to other countries. Having it become
part of your demeanor could benefit you across the globe. The premise
of this book is that the Influencing Behaviors, which are delineated and
defined in Chapter XVI, are strategically effective across all continents.
Recently, I was delivering a presentation to the Council of Supply Chain
Management Conference and I took them through these behaviors and
related how they affect the different cultures. Why a summary and a
paraphrase are appreciated by audiences of different languages. One of
the attendees then asked, I understand how these behaviors would
help those whose first language is not English, now which behaviors
would work in the United States? I then realized I had not fully explained the values or the affects of the behaviors. The behaviors influence human beings no matter the culture in which they lived. The
behaviors uphold Respect, Consideration, Acceptance, and Empathy in
all countries, and are not exclusive to any culture. The Four Strategic
Virtues transcend all cultures and the Seven Influencing Behaviors support the virtues.
21
NOTE:
When commenting on a specific global area or country, it is usually
in generalizationsgeneral comments, not personal absolutes. Please
keep in mind that situations, individual social styles, circumstances,
and interpersonal dynamics influence every exchange socially or in business. There is no category of behavior that describes everyone.
22
Foreword
Part I:
The C
owbo
Cowbo
owboyy in a New
Frontier
23
CHAPTER 1:
Crossing the
C ul
tur
al Divide
ultur
tural
Its an outlook, an attitude.
John Wayne
Agenda
A. Small social courtesies with large business impacts.
B. Barriers that prohibit relationships.
C. Imagewhose image is the right one? Mine or Theirs?
Two waist-high, cloisonn Chinese vases filled with fresh flowers
welcome guests into the meeting room. Inside, sculptured works of art
are positioned proudly on enormous pillars on either side of the breakfast tables.
Woven silk art lines the floor. Chinese rugs in magnificent colors
exhibiting a history of traditional beauty and in a legacy of workmanship cover the floor on which I dare walk. Deep reds and burgundies,
accented with varied shades of blue in a centered circle, burst into ancient designs to a border of twisting leavesa work of carpet art. The
expectation of the regal ambiance is one of respectful decorum. It has
an air of importance that only Hong Kong could posture without words.
25
26
27
Define Culture
According to Websters Unabridged Dictionary, the definition of
culture is the behaviors and beliefs characteristic of a particular social, ethnic, or age group. Culture embodies the rules that regulate
basic patterns of behavior. They are the shoulds and the should nots
of any group living in the same country, practicing the same religion, or
of the same nationality. These rules create parameters or natural boundaries that make the people living within that culture feel comfortable.
28
Be the Foreigner
On a November morning in 1992, I was in the railway station in
Beijing. I had just finished giving a seminar and had to be in TianJin, in
the industrial zone, to give another workshop the next day. There was
an unexpected snowstorm and I couldnt get to my destination by car.
My driver took me to the train station and instructed me to get a reserved seat, and then he drove off, leaving me alone with a million other
people.
Colossal and bleak, the station was a cement palace. It was packed
with more than a million people, but the silence was deafening. People
rippled 15 abreast subtly and smoothly through the corridors, as if their
feet didnt even touch the floor. They systematically filled every inch of
space, and the undetected order was disturbing.
I began to look for a familiar face, yet I knew I would recognize no
one. I tried to make eye contact with someoneanyonebut their eyes
looked past me. I desperately wanted to make eye contact so perhaps
someone could help me find the ticket office. No one would look at me,
but I could feel their stares when my eyes shifted.
29
Examine Exclusion
Feeling foreign damaged my confidence. My exterior excluded me
from the group of one million. No word was exchanged, no thought or
idea expressed. I just didnt belong. I began to lumber rather than walk
with purpose, my posture caved into the pressure of certain stares, and
my confidence fell reflecting the discomfort of being different.
This change in a persons attitude and actions happens in the work
place when an employee is made to feel strange or different and just
doesnt fit in. The exclusion reduces his confidence and promotes a
feeling of inferiority. The individual is less likely to extend his efforts.
Productivity and quality are directly impacted by this perceived loss of
30
31
Close-Up of Asia
In the June 28, 2006 issue of Working Knowledge for Business Leaders
(a weekly newsletter for business executives put out by the Harvard
Business School) an article titled, What the New Asia Means for
Multinationals, stated that [I]n the Asian competitive environment
of tomorrow, it wont be enough for the managers of Western multinationals to be able to think global, act local. The reason is that being an
expert at taking a global business formula and adapting it to a local
market largely ignores the opportunity to take learning from a local
Asian market and apply it to reshaping the companys strategy across
Asia (or for that matter, the world).
This excerpt from a Harvard Business School article pinpoints the
essence of succeeding in Asiarecognize and learn from the exceptional business practices of local businesses so that you can use them
across your global market. This strategy will keep you competitive with
the rest of local Asian businesses who will capture the best practices of
other locals. This was written in 2006, and that tomorrow is now.
This centers on the controversial discussion of whether it is a trend or
not. Will the way of doing business remain the Western way of doing
business?
Asia is an enormous continent that includes major marketsChina,
Hong Kong, Japan, Korea, Taiwan, and India. Unlike North or South
32
33
Snapshot of China
China is a major player in todays global market. Believed to be the
oldest civilization, its prehistory dates back 12,000 years (the Neolithic
Age). Chinas population is now close to 1.5 billion, and the predominant language is Mandarin. Today the Communist Party governs China
from Beijing, the capital, but, the communist constitution does allow
freedom of religion. The majority of people in China follow the Analects
of Confucius, which is more of a philosophy as opposed to a religion.
Confucius spent his life dedicated to learninglearning how to become a benevolent, virtuous man. A small portion of the Chinese population (about 20 percent), follows the teachings of Buddha. In fact,
some Chinese only follow Buddhas teachings as a safeguard, just in
case the Buddhists are right.
China also has a long history of dynasties and emperorsbeginning
with the Xia Dynasty about 1994 B.C.E. and ending with the Manchu or
Qing Dynasty, which ruled from A.D. 1644 to 1912. As the dates indicate, the dynasties historically endured. Chairman Mao Zedong brought
communism to China in the late 1940s.
China is a collectivist culture valuing relationships, the group, and
its members, and counters the individualist thinking of a democracy.
The following list is not an absolute statement of good or bad, right or
wrong, or effective or offensive. It does not describe every person in
China who embodies all of these characteristics. Instead, the list describes what is. The businessperson who determines how best to work
within a different culture is the one who will be effective and efficient,
building the relationships needed for long-term success.
34
DONT
Order or insist.
Criticize.
Clarify/Summarize/Ask.
Only be aggressive.
Mentor.
Assume.
35
Cultural Considerations
Relationships are the foundation of the Chinese culture. Relationships, either within one culture or across cultures, involve many aspects of a person. The Chinese person is there to support others. It is
easier to build trust from the beginning than to try to undo whats
been done before. If you establish an ineffective relationshipor one
of necessityit is even more difficult to change it into a trusting one. It
is better to start building trust from the first encounter.
Decision-Making
B
Collective decision-making takes more time and is recognized. Decisive could be considered deliberative in China.
The top-ranking authority will take time to hear all the input of those working on or impacted by the negotiation.
Chinese colleagues who have not developed a good relationship may intentionally not cooperate at work. This becomes
an issue of respect and trust.
Building Relationships
B
36
The Chinese will shut down or retreat and take their time.
Interest in Chinese art, history, and land builds and maintains strong relationships.
Once a relationship is established, you may ask almost anything of your colleague.
Loyalty is a guarantee.
Chinese Companies/Business
B
The majority of Chinese companies are still governmentowned. Individuals have no sense of ownership.
The Chinese have little training in customer care, management skills, and processes or efficiency.
The top priority of Chinese companies is good relationships. Second is solving technical problems, followed by
training.
37
Managers value communication, even when there is no business issue to address. They value face-to-face discussions
on a regular and frequent basis.
Find the Chinese manager who has the most experience working with the United States and ask for assistance.
38
CHAPTER 2:
Competition Is King...
and Queen
We must scrunch or be scrunched.
Charles Dickens, Our Mutual Friend, 1865
Agenda
A. A society led by business and sports
B. Vulnerability and empathy put competitive in
jeopardy.
Round up timecorral those creatures and brand them the U.S.
brand. Dont stop until you get them all.
Mountains, oceans, and rivers are natural barriers that often create
boundaries and distinguish different cultures. These cultural borders are
easily identified and offer concrete options for working across borders.
When a customary way of doing business is introduced, the accepted
style and attitude can also put up a barrier to building a trusting relationship. The John Wayne styleto conquer, to win, to defeatoften influences Western business interactions. It is a cowboys-and-Indians attitude,
and the cowboys must always win. To compete becomes: to win or to
39
40
41
42
43
44
Snapshot of Japan
Japan is a small island of great strength that protects its culture from
the strong influence of foreign cultures. Generally a more reserved culture, Japans position in the Pacific Ocean has allowed it to remain aloof
when it comes to other cultures. Its language is Japanese and is spoken
only in Japan. The countrys form of government is a parliamentarian
democracy with a prime minister who serves as the ruling officer.
With the Japanese you must build credibility during a very long
timeperhaps two to three years. As your credibility increases, it may
bring you into the inner circlea private culture.
45
Cultural Considerations
B
The less senior person bows lower and then often shakes
hands. Try to do a comparable bow.
Relationships are key, along with team considerations before individual considerations.
The Japanese have sharp antennae because they have developed their intuitive skills.
Business Considerations
B
Meet in the office and later for dinner to build a social relationship, so that they can get to know more about you.
If you dont wish to join them for drinks after dinner, you could
excuse yourself by telling them you are tired from the travel.
Be patient. We are seen as an impatient culture with a cowboy attitude. This can be a bit of an advantage, however,
46
When they agree to consider your idea, this does not mean
they agree with you. Instead, it means they will consider it
and more than likely disagree with you.
Language is also a matter of pride or losing face. They prefer everything to be written in Japanese, and they often work
with translators. The Japanese have a need for perfection
and often can be self-conscious about their English. Also,
they often use a translator so they have time to think of
their answers, even if they speak English. Use the simplest,
most direct terms, especially with a translator. Do not use
slang, colloquialisms, or acronyms.
Saving face is an important social and professional consideration. It is also the subordinates responsibility to find a
way to save face for the hierarchy. Feedback should and will
not be given in front of anyone or a group.
Negotiations
B
The Japanese do not like surprises and try to avoid confrontations. In order to save face and respect authority, they
frequently have the meeting before the meeting, nema washi.
Many times the CEO, president, and another officer of the
company will meet before a scheduled board meeting to resolve any contentious issues and reach consensus.
47
The Japanese strategy, sitting opposite a shoot-now-talklater Westerner is silence, and it usually does work to their
advantage.
48
CHAPTER 3:
The Ga
ted C
ommunit
y:
Gated
Communit
ommunity:
C orpor
ate Americ
a Lives Here
orpora
America
Mothers are the only race of people that speak the same tongue.
Will Rogers (satirist of the 1930s).
Agenda
A. Chinaan inviting market/an elusive culture.
B. Literacy that escapes reason.
C. Buzzwords and acronyms tripping our common sense.
There are guarded gates, identically designed row houses, consistent landscaping, a community house, and a name such as Sanctuary
to indicate its secure peacefulness. This is a gated communityone in
my town. You pay a monthly assessment and everything outdoors is
taken care offrom landscaping to snow removal. If an outside visitor
is coming to see a resident, the guard must know in advance. The residents usually drive similar cars, wear the same level of designer clothes,
and drink similar wines. There is no question that everyone living there
can afford the same luxuries. Many of these communities also include a
golf course, a club house, and a community house for gatherings. Having no yard work, snow removal, or safety concerns is advantageous:
49
50
51
52
53
54
55
56
Language as an Excluder
The great enemy of clear language is insincerity. When there is a
gap between ones real and ones declared aims, one turns as it were
instinctively to long words and exhausted idioms, like a cuttlefish squirting out ink.
George Orwell, Politics and the English Language, Shooting an
Elephant (1950)
What we say and how we say it includes or excludes the listener from
understanding or from being a part of the exchange. Language can be a
formidable barrier, but it can also be a means for building a stronger
relationship. Interest in the other persons country, history, music, or art
may offer a communication of appreciation or of recognition. Judging
anothers difference from our standard, however, devalues both.
57
58
59
60
61
62
63
64
65
66
67
The restaurant was dark with monastic-like dcor. When we entered at ground level, it was as if we were walking down into a cave.
Life-sized, wood-carved monks guarded the entrance, and the lighting
was fitting to a church after dusk. Nevertheless, the ambiance was inviting and warm. The wood booth we sat in was protective in its curved
backs and comforting in its softness.
The hors doeuvres began with a speckled grey mound served in a
chalice-like pottery vessel. Because my heritage is part Polish and I attended an elementary school that taught the language, Mirka asked me
to identify what she ordered when it arrived. I took a knifes worth of the
spread and placed it on a wonderful dense bread. After biting and chewing, I looked at Mirka and questioned, Pan drippings? The owner knew
what his customers liked and worked to serve and satisfy his customer.
Mirka explained to me that this restaurateur was successful because he
understood customer service better than other entrepreneurs, and had a
68
Snapshot of Russia
Russia is a country of passion, flamboyance, and generosityonce
you get to know its citizens. The Federation of Russia has more than
150 million people and, geographically, it is larger than any other country in the world. The official language is Russian, and the nation enjoys
an almost 100-percent literacy rate.
69
Cultural Considerations
B
Similar to many Latin American countries, Russians let feelings guide their decision-making processes.
Women are still discriminated against, and sexual harassment is quite high in business and in government.
70
Business Considerations
B
B
B
B
B
B
B
B
Negotiation
Howard Dahl, president and CEO of Amity Tecnology, Fargo,
North Dakota, said in the INC-Magazine article, Negotiating With
71
Russian regulations are constantly changing, so it can create frustration and chaos in an agreement.
While the Japanese have a tendency to say yes to everything, the Russians have a tendency to say no to everything,
even when they dont mean it.
Russians will sometimes ask for a protocol of the meeting. It is similar to our minutes of a meeting. It is read,
agreed upon, and signed to its accuracy.
72
Superiority Complex
CHAPTER 4:
Superiorit
omplex:
Superiorityy C
Complex:
Sophmores of the Global Campus
Agenda
A. Asking vs. Telling Culture.
B. Loud vs. listening.
C. Prescribing vs. relating.
We sometimes suffer from a national superiority complex, even
though it is the individual who delivers its blow. Many Western business people, as individuals, feel far superior to their third-world, developing sister countries. The label itself indicates our level of
superioritydeveloping.
There is nothing noble in being superior to someone else. The true
nobility is in being superior to your previous self. Hindu saying
We often feel we have to tell someone how powerful we are, just in
case they missed it in our title, or our expensive dress, or perhaps the
fancy hotel in which we are staying. In many countries, all three surface
73
74
Superiority Complex
businesswomen/entrepreneurs, attorneys, physicians, and educators in
an attempt to partner with our Chinese colleagues. The leader of the
group was inexperienced in travel and working internationally. She didnt
understand Chinese life nor did she seem to want to understand it.
Before we left for China, this woman was quoted in a local American
newspaper. When asked to identify the value in the trip, she responded,
Im certain Ill be humbledby how much I have in comparison to
how little they have.
Her absolute, culpable lack of awareness of, much less familiarity
with, this ancient culture created a patronizing condescendencesubtle,
but with a very powerful affect. Her posture was one of superiority, not
one of partnership or even curiosity.
So few business people look first for worth in what is strangely different to them. They are too busy competing against, rather than promoting together.
To know why the Chinese diaper their infants leaving the crotch
open, for example, stops you from calling them ridiculous. The typical
young Chinese couple with a new baby live in a 400-foot apartment with
a 4-foot * 8-foot balcony outside the kitchen. The laundry is hung on
the balcony, and sometimes, due to the weather, it takes days for it to
dry. Its far easier to wipe the wood or cement floor with a cloth and
herb mixture than to launder dozens of diapers. Because China is now
industrialized, disposables are available, but very few can afford or would
want to buy them.
Emerson said: Culture opens the sense of beauty. (The Conduct
of Life, 1860). Getting to know a person introduces you to their culture, and its the best way to realize the qualities of a culture. Its easy
to indict an entire race or culture, yet you are much more uncomfortable doing so when you meet its integrity face to face. We are quick to
judge because we know everything: the best solution, the only answer,
and the greatest idea. It is part of our flamboyant Western personality.
Also, our attitude of buy more, buy bigger, buy newer and buy better,
keeps us convinced that we are what we own. A persons value is attached to his or her ability to purchase.
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Prioritize Values
Some cultures, such as the Chinese, are not seasoned consumers.
Instead of spending weekends shopping, they go to a museum, a garden, or perhaps a park for a music or dance festival. The Chinese find
value elsewhere. One of the first female Chinese millionaires expanded
her apartment by taking over the one above her, making her home about
900 square feet. When I visited her newly remodeled home, I noticed it
was still sparse. She added two more chairs and an extra lamp. Knowing
how much I enjoy primitive Chinese art, she gave me a regional black
porcelain vase. Sharing the same affinity for art, I asked her if she would
buy some now that she had the means. She said, No, I enjoy looking at
art in a special setting, the museum, and I enjoy it more when I share it
with family and friends. Some believe that what one owns is ones greatest burden in lifea strong belief of the Dalai Lama. This is a chasm of
difference in priority of values.
Many business people have told me that we all have the same values: family, education, money, success, professional growth, safety, freedom. Yes, those values seem universal. Placing those values one in front
of the other makes an enormous impact on how we approach doing
business with our transcultural partners. In the United States, as a competitive, capitalistic society, our number-1 value is money, followed
closely by time. We say we value family, yet they are forced to step
aside when it comes to career, money, or time. In fact, businessmen
usually say that they work long hours and take new positions hundreds
of miles away from the established home because they are doing it for
the family. This priority of values directs and sometimes manipulates
the moves made by our leaderspolitical, business, or community.
Everyone speaks of family values politically, but when it comes to
voting for the Family Leave Act they vote no because no one wants
higher taxes. Back to the number-1 priority: money.
When were doing business in another country we have to discover
their priority of values. When we initiate a new relationship here in the
United States, we try to find out what someones needs and wants are
so that we can better service them (and they, us). Its the same when we
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Superiority Complex
are abroad. Our perceived superiority complex can be diffused if we
show a concern for others needs. Its a beginning, with a balance of
exchange or dialogue. If youre working in China, telling someone you
will save time is not appealing. Time is not a top priority in China. The
country has a 7,000-year-old history. Telling them how much money
they will make also wont mean much, unless you include how many
people you will employ and the benefits you will offer them while working in the companyespecially education opportunities.
A few years ago, I was traveling from Beijing to TianJin by car with
a Chinese business colleague of mine. He had been involved with setting up software for air traffic controllers at the Beijing airport. We
were stopped by a heavy snowfall and had to turn back. There were
several older women sweeping the road with large, fluffy brooms. I
turned to my friend and said, Well, now that youre going hi-tech in so
many areas, when do you think youll bring in snow plows? He responded, When we find jobs for the women. Their priority, be it out
of necessity or tradition, is still people and keeping them employed.
Put Up or Shut Up
As business people, we reek of the competitive and it often keeps us
from being investigative or responsive. We think we must have the answer, the solution, or the idea. Is it the economic superiority? Or is it
our obsession with competitive sports? Our immaturity as a young country could add to our sophomoric approach to resolution. Similar to so
many corporations, perhaps the United States has fallen into the trap
of believing our own marketing. In 1998, according to its President Chris
Galvin, Motorola had gotten too arrogant. Newspapers of time say that
happened with IBM and the auto industry. Our national arrogance has
stunted our learning. Our exclusive approach to knowledge and learning, to idea, and to language has limited our long-term partnerships.
I was in London with a group of managers from England, Scotland,
France, Germany, and a few from Asia. Two of us were delivering a
management program for those managers identified to be on the fast
track. That session was chaotic. The French felt superior to the Brits
and vice versa; the Germans felt better than the entire lot. At the end
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Superiority Complex
on the other hand, is not in demand. Our youthful culture, our families,
and our media regard the elderly in our country with less value than
younger people, than the middle-aged, than even the leaders. Everything we do says we dont value the elderly: our obsession with looking
young is apparent in all of our advertising, from vitamins to clothing.
As an adolescent culture we havent found the beauty in old age.
Our expectations of our older community set them up for acting or
performing like they do. It is the same in the business arenaour expectations of a certain national culture set the stage for their anticipated behaviors. Its common to hear, What can you expect at her
age? or, I cant count on her description of what happened; she doesnt
remember it all.
My older sister calls me occasionally to update me on my mothers
health. My mother is 90 years old, mobile, exercises, and keeps house
the one I grew up in. When my sister relates my moms visit to the
doctor, she does so on the assumption that anything that is wrong in the
analysis is my moms interpretation and not the doctorsand many
times it is. For example, the doctor felt my mom needed more outside
activity, especially during the long Michigan winters, so he told my mom
to volunteer. And he told her a second and third time.
My mom is a giving and loving woman. She would notice what our
neighbors needed and she would help. She bakes cookies for the Catholic
elementary school in her neighborhood. When we were kids, our mom
worked hard outside the home so we could all go to college. She doesnt
want to volunteer; she wants to contribute in her own way. She did not
need an organized event to show her how to give to her community. But
the doctor had the same answer for all old people. First, youre too
old to get paid for what you do, and second, everyone must fit into
volunteering. He never thought of asking an older person what he or
she preferred, because his expectation was they would not have any
idea anyway.
My sister, out of concern, chided my mother for not volunteering
because she wanted her to be less lonely. The doctor gave my mother a
suggestion and that was that. She should do it. Why dont we question
and listen more intently? We also dont go to older people to benefit
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Superiority Complex
Polish, Spanish, Chinese, and many others. It is a rich and diverse country with a variety of cultures, religions, and customs.
The geographic locationNorth, South, East, West, and even the
Midwest may dictate the way business is done. The East Coast is more
conservative and formal in dress and attitude than the West Coast. The
West Coasts warm weather brings with it a more casual environment,
including clothing. A sport coat for men and a blazer for women would
be considered formal on the West Coast. In large major cities, it is safe
to wear a dark color suit and tie for your business meetings, unless
indicated differently by your host.
The United States is an individualist societylaws and policies generally support the individual. All men are created equal is part of the
United States Constitution, and women are still working for equality in
pay and for higher positions. The workforce of the United States is
strong and increasing in diversity. Women are present at every level of
management. Self-reliance is more pronounced, which makes teamwork
and concern for others a bit more challenging.
In general, the people of the United States are not as knowledgeable with regard to other cultures. Americans carry an attitude that
indicates they believe their way of doing thingsincluding businessis
the most accepted and best, and many times the only way, regardless of
culture. Newspapers best reflect this approach because the international
portion of most large newspapers is very limited and small in comparison to other nations newspapers. Readers believe local news is the
most important. I have taken businessmen to Asia who arrive not knowing where one country is located relative to another. Many still believing that all Asian cultures are alike, or even the same.
The different American business cultures are better recognized than
the diversity of national cultures within the United States. Walking into
an organizations headquarters can reveal many components of the
corporations culture. These same corporations might have sub-cultures
in their divisions or sectors outside the corporate climate. For example,
I have visited McDonalds Corporation headquarters and Motorola
corporate headquarters and there is a distinct difference between the
two environments. Upon first entering the buildings, I can notice and
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Cultural Considerations
B
Introductions are often made without the title of the person, and other times with the Mr. or Ms., or simply the given
name with their family name.
Gifts are not common. A modest gift or a work of local artisans would be acceptable. Large corporations discourage
gifts, especially if they appear lavish and more like a bribe.
Lunch or dinner is appreciated.
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Superiority Complex
B
Business Considerations
B
People in the United States may be straightforward, tenacious, and somewhat controlling in conversations.
Saving face and other formalities are not a dominant consideration with people of the United States.
Money (the bottom line) is a top priority and always an issue in the United States. Time is money could also be
considered a mantra for business people in the United States.
Negotiations
B
Americans do not like silence. This is your strategic advantage. Wait, and they will give you more information.
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There are rules for everything and there are experts for every function. Company policies rule.
Because the United States is considered an ethnocentric culture, it is often ignorant of outside information and abstractly
tries to find sameness in the outside world.
People of the United States consider themselves problemsolvers and negotiate from their strengths with give and take.
They consider their top strengths to be money and power.
Often, they not do recognize the other sides power and prefer
their own solutions. Some refer to these businessmen as
playing hard balldemanding what they want, when they
want it because they have the power of size and money.
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CHAPTER 5:
Values:
A Ma
Matt ter
of Priorities
What we must decide is perhaps how we are
valuable rather than how valuable we are.
Edgar Z. Friedenberg,
The Impact of the School (1959) from
The Vanishing Adolescent
Agenda
A. Barriers to valuing the other.
B. Breeding of the polite or courteousdo ideas of what
is polite or courteous keep us from seeing value?
C. Surface characteristics: height, size, clothing, and
social habits.
People who espouse a traditional attitude of superiority should move
to practicing respect, away from existing beliefs to specific behaviors,
which assure the integrity of each person. Many times, if a new method
or process makes us feel uncomfortable or out of control, we think it
must be wrong or not worthwhile. Depending on how strange the other
may seem determines the level of wrong he or she must be. Differences often dictate values. It is important to be able to change the fear
of differences to the respect of the individual and the value of his or her
input. Personal relationships have often been destroyed because of the
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Interpret Language
Language is a barrier, but is far less of an obstacle than its misinterpretation. My mom lives in an old ethnic neighborhood in Grand Rapids,
Michigan. I grew up on Hovey Street by John Ball Park Zoo, among
Polish, Russian, Lithuanian, Latvians, and other eastern Europeans. The
church was the focal point, and it, too, was Polish. My grandfather
built the first Russian Orthodox Church in the town. Our community
was Russian and Polish, and I went to school with the other Eastern
European ethnics.
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89
The best definition for a barrier that I have found is, anything that
constrains progress or access to. I like this definition because it includes access to information, involvement, decision-making, or even
breaking bread together at the table.
Many times just being aware of a barrier helps us to take positive
actioneither climb it or walk around it. Thats the first step to valuing someone or something thats different. These barriers limit access
to, and limit input from valued perspectives and thinking. If you dont
understand the differences of others, you tend not to solicit opinion,
idea, or fact from the foreigner. This is a critical step in valuing. One
must work to include, in discussion or input, in sharing of information,
and, most importantly, in the actual decision making processfrom
beginning to end. In a negotiation, identifying and recognizing the
others needseither to validate what you researched or to uncover
new needsis the primary requirement. Some cultural barriers, such
as language or social courtesies, camouflage the true and essential needs
of the other side. Often faulty assumptions are made, and then the strategy goes awry. Questioning techniques can be an instrument for harmony or a cacophony for failure.
Several years ago, at a neighborhood block party in the northwest
suburbs of Chicago, I was observing my young and old neighbors as they
were introduced to and interacted with Mrs. Yeh, a Chinese woman who
has lived in the neighborhood since its beginning. She is a gracious, happy,
and positive woman. She searched me out when I arrived. I introduced
her to my relatively new neighbors who were in their late 60s, similar to
Mrs. Wang. They were polite, but took leave as fast as they could. The
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Art Is Universal
In many of these diverse perspectives, art serves as a good role
model. In its extended diversity, it appeases many tastes. Its variances
are as numerous as there are artists. To look at art from as many
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Prioritize Values
Differences bring depth, substance, and relativity to individual thinking. Sometimes one can immediately see or feel the value of a different
perspective, and other times one feels more comfortable with sameness
or with a long-held belief. Overwhelming sameness often rests in complacency, self-righteousness, and arrogance. Many times we claim to
hold the same values. Priority of values sets the direction of our lifes
activities. Priority of values determines our choices and often the outcome of our actions.
One day, I was in the square in Old Krakow sitting in the sun, watching the people walk by: seminarians, priests and nuns, older men and
women, and young people. There were a few mothers with their children, playing in the center of the court. Two little girls were together
working on a drawing. Julika was singing a song with a great deal of
verse repetition. Her friend, Tatania wanted her to stop singing. So
then Julika came running to her mother and she said, Mommy, Tatania
wants me to stop singing and I dont want to stop. The mother answered
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Conversation
Meals
Meetings
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Social events
Problem-solving/discussion
Celebrations
Teams
Shopping
Cultural events
Historical monuments
Art
Museums
Local restaurants
History
Newspapers/books
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Snapshot of Poland
The Communist regime was overthrown in Poland in 1989. It is the
biggest Slavic country in the European Union. Poland is a country that
has lost its identity several times. It dates back to the 10th century and
often is referred to as an excellent example of a transition country. A
symbol of resistance against totalitarian systems, Poland is now building a democratic systema parliamentary republicand free market
economy. Because of its history of national ownership, the Polish people
exhibit a resiliency and a true entrepreneurial spirit. Poland is now a
parliamentary republic.
Located between Germany and Russia, the Poles consider themselves a western European nation. Their strong belief in the Roman
Catholic Church kept Poland less Communist during that era. The
Poles are indebted to the Church for keeping their cultural identity.
Catholicism is the only religion in Poland today. Although some of the
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Cultural Considerations
B
Shake hands when you meet and when you leave. Include it
with an exchange of business cards and casual conversation.
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Women who speak more forthrightly might face a bit of resistance from their male counterparts.
Toast Na zdrovya.
Business Considerations
B
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Negotiations
B
Cite examples of similar business deals that were successful, especially deals with respected clients.
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CHAPTER 6:
Build a TTrust
rust
worthy
rustworthy
Rel
ationship:
Rela
The TTrust
rust Model
Few things help an individual more than to place responsibility
upon him and to let him know that you trust him.
Booker T. Washington
Agenda
A. Organizational Alignment Model.
B. Trans-cultural Alignment Model.
C. Trust Model.
Aligning a corporate mission statement with its practices and behaviors is essential. It supports a strong business and a doable business
plan. Its just like parenting: If you dont do what you tell your children
to do, they follow your example.
Strategic planning became en vogue in the 1970s. It was always a
part of doing business but it was called different names and often had a
different emphasis. Today, almost every company includes its mission,
vision, and select pieces of its plan online. In the early 1980s, I was
elected to a board of education for a large consolidated district in the
northwest suburbs of Chicago. I, along with a recognized businessman,
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The What
Mission/Vision
B B BB
B
B B B
Values
Strategic Goals
Objectives
Practices
Activities
Behaviors
Results
Dr. Tostis simple Organizational Alignment Model is headed by
the mission/vision. The left side represents the strategic plan set to
carry out the mission. Following down the left side, you should begin
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105
The National
B BBB
B
BB B
Vision
Cultures
Values/Virtues
Customs
Practices
Behaviors
Traditions
Results
Trust
Building Relationships
Improves Productivity
The Trans-cultural Alignment evolves from the right side of the Organizational Alignment Model, the business values and how we do business.
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108
109
110
111
Behavioral Approach
Values
Attitudes
Behaviors
Results
Confident
Trust
Integrity
Expectations
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113
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Cultural Considerations
B
Business Considerations
B
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Names are written last name first, middle name, and first
name last. Address the Chinese with their title and last name.
Business cards are very important in Hong Kongwhen presented to you, look at it, carefully place in your card case,
or place it on the table in front of you. You must offer your
card in return so as not to insult the person. This simple
omission could prevent you from doing business.
Negotiations
B
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The Chinese avoid confrontation because it dishonors someone, so they will not say no to you. They frequently say perhaps, or Let me think about that or even, It could be
difficult. These each could mean no. You have to continue
to better understand their needs.
As Sun Tzu said in the Art of War, Offer option [to avoid
war]. Prepare many options before going into the negotiation. Options offer some valuable alternatives, and they could
also offer the Chinese business person a way to save face
by not accepting your proposal.
Hierarchy is also respected and a high priority in the business culture, no matter how small the company. Hierarchy
may be determined by position, age, and gender.
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CHAPTER 7:
The Business of Good
Actions:
Four S
tr
ategic V
irtues
Str
tra
Virtues
Virtue between men is a commerce of good actions.
Voltaire, Philosopher, Philosophical Dictionary (1764)
Agenda
A. The Behavioral Approach Model.
B. Four Strategic Virtues: Consideration, Acceptance,
Respect, and Empathy
A 10-year-old, black sedan taxi, buffed slick to a metallic shine pulled
up to the curb. A young man in a dark suit came around to where I was
standing and opened the door for me. I slipped into the car. It was
meticulous inside and it gave me the feeling of being in a new car when
everything still seems straight from the manufacturer. Instead of a new
car leather scent the inside released the sweet fresh air of a spring flower
garden. There was an air freshener hanging from the rear view mirror.
The worry balls were rattling in the armrest and next to the meter
sat a jar of warm water. He spoke English with a melody of inflection
that created an accent that distorted the literacy of his words. The trip
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121
122
123
124
125
126
127
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129
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Empathy is key to getting what you need and want out of a negotiation. It assists in sorting out, developing options, and in the end having
an agreement that both sides can implement.
Many times, in the planning stage of a negotiation, empathy involves
anticipating the others needs and exploring options that would relieve
the other sides concerns. Creating an appealing option for the other
side often brings the focus back to your needs, and this balance of response maintains a climate for positive progress. Without vulnerability
and without empathy it is impossible to establish the trust needed to do
business.
If these Four Strategic Virtues are consistent in a persons communication style and character, trust is the primary outcome. The definition that best describes a cross-cultural trust is: Confident Expectations.
Trust is the fundamental basis for any working relationship. Consideration, Acceptance, Respect, and Empathy plant the seed for growing
trust. Consistency and vulnerability will assure its continued growth.
Snapshot of India
India is a focused and hard-working countryboth practical and spiritual in its way of life. In some ways, it is a country of paradoxes: technological and mystical, aggressive and solicitous, bold and gentle. It is located
in southern Asia, and it has a population of more than 1.1 billion people.
The predominant religion is Hindu (more than 80 percent) and the two
predominant languages are Hindi and English for commerce and the government. Today, India focuses on technologysoftware development
and testing, computer support, call centers for technical support, and
the Internet.
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Cultural Considerations
B
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In India, the cow is revered. Wearing clothing or accessories crafted from leather may appear disrespectful to Indians.
Family takes priority over work whenever the need is presented. Indian businesspeople value others who exhibit a
similar priority and care for family.
Hindi and English are the major languages. English is usually used in doing business. There are 14 other major languages used and more than 300 minor languages still used in
India.
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Avoid standing with your hands on your hips. It is considered aggressive and confrontational.
Business Considerations
B
Titles are also important in India, to show respect and consideration. Consistently use them.
In business, it is a system of hierarchy. A hierarchical system is also in place in business. The senior colleagues are
respected and obeyed. Supervisors are expected to monitor
the work of all individuals and, ultimately, responsible for
meeting their deadlines.
Indians are very hospitable and generous. When you are invited to their homes, you must accept. Bring candy or flowers to the hostess/host, and do not thank them for the meal.
A thank you is seen as payment for their hospitality.
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DONT
Be vague or unclear.
Make appointments at least one Just show up and think you will be
seen.
month in advance.
Reconfirm appointment one week
prior and and again once in India.
Expect timeliness.
Negotiations
No is considered harsh and confrontational, final in implication
in India. More subtle refusals are considered more polite and less affronting. Evasive refusals are more common, and are considered more
polite. It is better to say, I will try than than to say, No, that wont
work. It is too aggressive.
Aggression is often perceived as disrespect. In a negotiation you
dont want a retreat or shut-down, and our Western, aggressive
style could do just that.
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Westernized Indians may reflect the straightforward, assertive, and direct Western style. You may then respond appropriately to their style in like kind.
Women should plan their wardrobe keeping in mind the conservative dress codes and the respect of Indias customs and
traditions. Working in another country demands that the
foreigner respect their laws and their traditions.
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CHAPTER 8:
The C
harisma
tic
Charisma
harismatic
Mul
ti-na
tional:
Multi-na
ti-national:
Lending a Hand to Neighbors vs.
Managing a Business Arr
angement
Arrangement
Faced with a hostile Congress, President Bill Clinton came up with a
strategy that tied the informal remarks at which he excelled to smallscale initiatives aimed directly at middle-class anxieties. If Clinton
talked like the guy next door, he governed like a man lending his neighbor a hand.
Naftali Bendavid Chicago Tribune Jan. 14, 2001
Agenda
A. Respect and individual integrity cement the foundation.
B. Leading the differencesnot abolishing them.
C. Influencing with behaviorsnot ordering edicts or
commanding obedience.
This is the strategy the U.S. business community should adopt, and
some have. Lending a neighbor a hand, relating to the familiar and building trustworthy friendship is much more than the typically acceptable
professional friendship in the U.S. business culture. The Gated Community
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141
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Prioritize Differences
How can we make the difference a preference? If we do, we have
made a change in a world dominated by competition and superiority. In
one of my first seminars in China, the participants were all managers/
executives and high-ranking government officials. As in the United
States, I asked each participant what they would enjoy doing if they had
some free time. Almost all gave a similar response. I would sit in a
park, chatting with a friend, one said. Another added, I would sit
with my family and friends listening to music and talking. Many of us
would say similar things, if we thought about it, but even if we didnt,
we would certainly value their perspective. Instead of focusing on the
difference and the irritation or fear of that difference, find something
thats a shared value within the difference. If, in Western culture, our
top priority is time and we cant get the other side to value time as their
top priority, we should look for another value such as celebration, to
leverage the need for adhering to a time line.
At the same Fourth World Womens Conference, I was working on
a presentation titled, Getting Women Elected: A Grass Roots Effort.
I didnt realize the appeal of the presentation was in the grass roots
part of it. Women from vastly different areas around the world wanted
to know how to do something and how to do it in their country. When I
was trying to organize the presentation in the weeks before the conference, I kept trying to think of a story that would create an interest,
something unusual and avant garde, something exciting and futuristic.
What worried me was that Americans often think we have the best answer and solution for every problem in every country. At the same time,
people from other struggling countries often expect us to give them the
answer and solution. I wanted to avoid any feelings of superiority.
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147
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Snapshot of Colombia
I have worked around the world and I have observed many richly
different cultures. It has taken me 17 years to note well the classical
norms of principles and values and the exclusivity of cultural traditions and customs. It is difficult to isolate and recognize every countrys
distinctions in culture, just as it is for me in the United States. The
North, South, East, and West regions each have distinguishing, cultural characteristics. If I described one area as common for all areas,
I would probably be wrong 75 percent of the time. Whatever I present
about the countries is only a small piece of who they are, gleaned
from my experiences, which further influences one way or the other
the general statement of culture. It was easier for me to find the
commonalities, like common ground in a negotiation, get comfortable
with what we shared, and then move together to an understanding of
our differences. Once we got on the same side of the multicultural
table I could pursue the differences and discover their distinct values
and then choose the best solution for the issue being negotiated. So I
had to travel from trust, yet the peak in productivity is worth the
investment.
Every country has a culture exclusively its owna culture rich in
traditions and customs, that, when understood, can show different values, strengths, and purpose. To work in a collaborative effort requires
an understanding of and appreciation for these cultural differences. It
also requires the flexibility to use the others strengths when the situation is conducive and appropriate, or when the situation is low risk and
could show a willingness to do it their way.
I started my career many years ago in Bogot, Colombia. The Barajas
family, with whom I lived, was loving, generous, and consistently concerned with my well-being. They taught me how to become involved
with what really matteredthe people. Working from the people to the
processfrom the structure to the actionmade them each successful
in whatever their interest. After we became better acquainted with each
other, the Barajas family helped me in my endeavors in whatever way
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151
Cultural Considerations
B Shake hands; women may clasp forearms or kiss each other
on the cheek.
B Greetings take timeColombians ask many questions and
Business Practices
B Foreigners must be punctual.
B Be a 30 minutes late for social engagements.
B Schedule appointments a week in advance.
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appear greedy.
B Inland Colombians are more formal; coastal, more casual.
Negotiations
B Have a Colombian contactto introduce you, meet you, and
try to Colombia.
B Lunch is the main meal and a good time to build the
relationship.
B Let them make the first toast.
B The person who invites usually paysbut they might still
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Part II:
Nego
tia
ting to Shi
Negotia
tiating
Shooting from the hip could cost you a toe, possibly a foot!
CHAPTER 9:
C rossing the C
ul
tur
al
Cul
ultur
tural
Divide
First rule of War: Avoid war.
Second rule of War: Offer options.
Art of War, Sun Tzu
To negotiate is to reach an agreement, a harmony of opinion, action, or character. This definition sets the tone of a negotiation: problemsolving, and, hopefully, harmony. For me, to negotiate is the ability to
influence or persuade an individual to move my way, by showing a concern
for his or her needs. The negotiating style influences someone to follow
and allows you to lead or serve. In todays transcontinental market and
diverse workforce, your ability to manage and lead in your business
culture and the global marketplace is determined by the negotiating
style in a business transaction.
Data is easily available to anyone. There is duplicity of technology
and a diversity of services in the marketplace. Today, almost everything is negotiable. A global marketplace presents variables in need,
product, and cultures, all of which require a skilled negotiator to do
day-to-day business. A leader within an organization influences followers by showing a sincere concern for their needs, and the same is true
of a negotiator. Often, recognizing and identifying the needs of the other
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158
159
160
161
162
CHAPTER 10:
Recognizing the Needs
of the Other Side:
TThe
he FFastest
astest Route to Get
ting W
ha
Getting
Wha
hatt
You Need
Grieve not that men do not know you; grieve that you do not know men.
Confucius, Analects
Agenda
A. Team compositionfeel like it is a person-to-person
exchange.
B. Matching needspriorities and principles, yours and
theirs.
C. Identifying poweryours and theirs.
The previous quote embodies what assures successful negotiations
and sound agreements. A strong agreement is grounded in knowing and
understanding the other. While preparing and planning a negotiation,
delineate your objective and list your critical needs. At the same time,
your issues, priorities, and expectations should also be considered from
the other partys perspective. Take the others needs into account.
In the end, understanding the other sides critical needs will ensure
an agreement that can be implemented effectively by both sides. This
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164
Negotiating Fluidly
Negotiating is somewhat like dancing. Knowing the parameters of
the dance floor gives you a knowing confidence of how far you can go
to the right and the left, forward and backward. Many times having
several options to offer allows you to determine the tempo of the dance
the slow and fluid waltz, the invigorating jitter-bug, or an inviting line
dance. Your power is in managing viable options. Some partners are
easier to lead onto the dance floor, while others are a bit stiff and resistant. Recognizing your partners need or comfort will help to determine the outcome. Different cultures favor different dancesAsians
often prefer slow whereas Latin Americans want to pick up the pace.
The Japanese keep you guessing and the Poles definitely prefer a polka
they are full of energy and dedicated enthusiasm. Enjoying the dance
should be a primary objective. After all, you want to be chosen each
time there is an open slot on the others dance card.
One of my major clients, a large corporation, was going through a
heavy loss in market share and a third restructuring. As a result, budgets were cut. The first to go? Training. When negotiating, our company was well aware of the external factors influencing our clients
situation. The companys director of training needed someone to go to
China to take over the training center and deliver most of the training.
He was used to getting what he wanted from us because they were one
of our largest clients.
He called to tell me what he expected and what had changed in their
international contracts. He prefaced what he had to say by giving me
the background on what the organizations situation, how much their
stock had dropped, and how they had to cut costs. I was well aware of
the situation because it was in the newspapers every other day.
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Balance Power
A focus on what you need, what your criteria, is and why you need
it will keep you dancing in the middle of the dance floor without a responsive partner. In order to get off dead center you have to use an
empathetic approach. When I campaigned for a federal office, I interviewed potential staff members on the phone. One day an interview was
set up with one of the best finance managers in the campaign circles.
She was knowledgeable, efficient, organized, and had a good track
record. I interviewed her for a half hour, or I should say, I listened for
a half hour. She began by itemizing her needs for me:
166
After she finished her laundry list, I thanked her and never got
back with hereven though she was the best candidate on paper.
First, she never asked a question about the campaign or about me,
the candidate. She didnt seem interested in the status of the campaign,
the philosophy, the issues, or the current cash balance. As the candidate, I felt as if she would put her comfort ahead of everything else,
despite the fact her requests were not at all out of line. Our campaign
was dependent on a force of 1,500 volunteers. She would have raised
money at the expense of the volunteers. Plainly, they would have resented her.
When preparing for a negotiation the tendency is to focus on the
needs of our organization, which is, of course, key to an agreement that
is approved. Yet not being able to identify the needs of the other party,
or not having options to viably respond to those needs, leaves us on the
dance floor alone. In the best-case scenario, it leaves us with a shortterm agreement and the other side already looking for a different partner. Building a relationship is much more demanding than getting an
agreement. Marriage, and its Western success rate, attests to that. When
you master a one-on-one relationship working effectively with a team,
an organization or a city is assured.
While planning the negotiation you must determine your power.
This sounds simple enough, but I have served on negotiating teams for
large corporations and often heard, They have all the power this goaround. To go into a negotiation feeling that the other side has all the
power will be giving the other side an advantage for what they need and,
in return, forfeiting many of your needs.
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168
Snapshot of Argentina
Argentina is a country of 40 million people, 85 percent of whom are
of European descent You will generally find Argentines with Spanish
and Italian ancestry, but the South American nation also includes those
from France, England, Germany, Poland, Ukraine, and also the largest
Jewish population in South America. In the 1990s, Argentina also attracted many immigrants from the Pacific Rim.
The people are warm and welcoming, but at the same time are considered serious or focused. Similar to the other South American countries, it is essential to build a good relationship with your potential client
to bear a fruitful negotiation and secure a successful working relationship. Perhaps due to the pronounced European heritage of the Argentines,
they are often thought of as somewhat sedate, or as demonstrating a
more-cultured approach over the other South American countries, in
taste and in the humanities.
Whats more, Argentines are not as open to controversial discussions of new suggestions or ideas, as much as other Latin Americans.
Their experiences dictate a great deal of their thinking, giving them a
169
Cultural Considerations
B
Conservative dark suits are best for men and women during
business meetings. In the evening, women should wear
dresses or skirts.
170
Business Considerations
B
Negotiations
B
Once again, personal relationships are much more important than company-to-company relationships.
171
Kindness and respect are a standard for the Argentine business person.
Working in Argentina, Venezuela, and Colombia, you can see similarities resulting from each countrys focus on building relationships.
The distinct customs of these Latin American countries each pay respect to the establishment of good relationships. These multinational
businesspersons want to work with someone whom they like and can
trust. Showing your appreciation for the music, art, history, and terrain
of their country is a first step to securing a successful relationship.
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The Mandate
CHAPTER 11:
The Manda
te:
Mandate:
A Blueprint of the Dance Floor
Agenda
A. Setting the objectiveyours and theirs.
B. Identifying all issues and ranking themyours and
theirs.
C. Setting the parametersreflecting theirs.
D. Develop your strengths and their strengths.
E. Brainstorm alternatives/options favorable to them.
On October 30, 1999, the Korea Herald featured an article by Kim
Dal-choong, president of the Sejong Institute, entitled, In search of
confidence building: the South Korean perspective.
Kim Dal-choong suggests, institutionalizing confidence building measures (CBMs) between the two Koreas as well as among the
four major powers [in northeast Asia] is a key step toward achieving
stability and prosperity on the Korean peninsula and in northeast Asia.
173
174
The Mandate
for confidence, and it also allows you to focus on building trust and,
ultimately, a relationship through astute personal behavior management.
Secure
Agreements
Maintain
Collaborative
Climate
Manage
Behaviors
Validate
Needs and
Wants
Internal Negotiation
Plan/
Strategize
Get
Mandate
Collect
Data
Sell Agreement to
Mandate Team
Need
Implementation
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176
The Mandate
helps in your timing and in building additional confidence. These beginning steps help to declutter and sort out the complexities of issues
and of strategy. With every step taken in planning for your side, you
also have to think about what the other side will want or be planning.
Even role playing their responses can give you an idea of follow up or of
other options. It will help to minimize surprises. Thinking of their needs
and their reactions could reinforce your approach.
177
178
The Mandate
179
180
The Mandate
negotiate internally and secure a mandate that is high in aspiration and
yet realistic enough to be believable. But the mandate determines the
height of your success, and it gives you the layout for reaching your
destination.
As you approach your worst-case scenario, and you make the other
side aware of this movement, step by step, throughout the negotiation,
they will believe you. The specific best/worst for each issue gives you a
trust-building vehicle and a way in which to be perceived as confident.
You can then more freely focus on behavior (yours and theirs), and on
strategy when you are in the negotiation. You can confidently lead the
dance.
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The Mandate
There are many possible solutions for any given issue. Think of
several so you will have options in your arsenal to find what best suits
the other sides needs. Think also of options the other party might
offer, and be prepared to respond. Consider what your alternatives
and theirs may cost, and what the trade-offs may be. Anticipate what
the trade-offs could be; many times what you consider as viable tradeoffs are their first priority in issues. This preparation in issue, alternatives, and trade-offs is a constructive way to build a collaborative
approach to problem-solving and, eventually, to agreement. Once you
have identified the issues, established the parameters, generated many
options, and targeted specific trade-offs, you should not stray from
this mandate.
As you prepare, the other sides culture should be a consideration
in every step of your plan. Understanding their cultural expectations
will make apparent workable options and strategies. You will know if
your first few meetings are dedicated to a better understanding of the
other sides business and personal perspectives.
When moving into strategic planning, consider how to use the data
you have collected to influence your client within their cultural perspective. How can you best meet their needs while also satisfying your needs?
The issues parameters and the options strength will give you the support required to knowledgeably plan your strategy. Concentrate your
work on looking for common ground. Discover the common ground in
context and in culture. This up-front work will facilitate the later implementation of your agreement. Addressing the common ground will help
to resolve related concerns and will give you successes to build on.
Snapshot of Chile
Chile is the longest country in the world4,000 miles long and only
100 miles wide. The northern part is the driest place on earth. Some of
the areas of the Altacama desert have not had any rainfall in recorded
history. The southern part of the country is very much like Sweden and
Norway, complete with glaciers and fjords.
Chile, which has a population of about 16 million, is a country that
values the arts and literature and is reputed to be the world publisher
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Cultural Considerations
B
Family, extended family, and extended long-term relationships hold significant importance in all areas of lifefamily,
business, or government.
Business Considerations
B
184
The Mandate
familiar, they will kiss on the cheek. Similar to other Latin
American countries, greet every person hello and goodbye
socially and in business.
B
Office hours are 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. and Chileans expect punctuality, even though they often do not respect the time.
When pouring the good Chilean wine, do not pour with your
left hand and do not pour in a fashion to let the wine lap up
the sides of the glass. Manners are very important in Chile
try everything that is served you.
Keep your hands above the table at all times, just like in
Colombia.
Negotiations
B
185
Honesty and integrity are most valuable; avoid doing anything that would embarrass a person or seem like criticism.
186
Common Ground
CHAPTER 12:
Common Ground:
C ul
tur
al and C
ontex
tual
ultur
tural
Contex
ontextual
Agenda
A. Common ground is the focus.
B. Strategic planning and development.
1. Cultures determine strategies.
2. Open-air Markets.
C. Sample strategies.
1. Questioninga new strategic art.
2. Issue vs. series planning.
D. Long-term approach.
President Wilsons statement reflects an inclusive attitude of negotiating a community of powerpowers integrated to build a durable,
lasting agreement. It takes the balance of power to a collaborative level.
Instead of each party retaining a singular, excluding ownership of power,
which could tip the balance at any time, each side puts their power in a
187
Planning Strategically
The strategic portion of your planning requires anticipative creativity, familiarity with the client, and astute listening to better respond
spontaneously. There is no one prescription for strategy that can assure
188
Common Ground
a successful negotiation because of the diversity of people and situations. There are certain strategies and behaviors, however, that work
well, in general. We can see how specific behaviors have a positive or
negative affect on people. The same is true for strategies. There are
three typical strategies for focusing on common ground:
z
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Common Ground
organizations needs helps you choose the right strategy. Confidence in
knowing your plan is viewed as strength in quality and substances.
Although strategies are situational and often spontaneous, planning
your strategies is critical to your outcome. Knowing where to start,
when to move from one issue to another, and at what point to reveal
certain information or to ask a key questionknowing when to waltz
and when to tango and, more importantly, what your partner needs.
Examples of Strategies
Strategy
Impact
Open.
Creative.
Logical.
Experience-based.
z
z
z
z
191
Focus is on options
(interests), not position.
Provides time to think.
Forces other party to
contribute more actively.
Results in ambience of
partnering for solutions.
Uncovers needs and wants.
Helps create workable
options.
Easily recognized; sets
long-term reputation.
Keeps the environment
open for an exchange.
Move to problem-solving
approach.
Use differences.
Be aware of timing.
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Common Ground
Effective Questioning
Ten years ago, giving the right solution was paramount for an engineer, a manager or an executive within an organization. Today, asking
the right questions is the key to uncovering the best solution, from a
pool of many acceptable solutions. In todays business environment,
considering technologys fast pace, and its brief life of exclusivity, questioning techniques can drive a collaborative approach to reaching an
agreement that can be implemented without going back to the negotiating table many more times.
Planning good questions is a good strategy. Questions that produce
valuable information and direction need to be prepared. Winging it
usually works one out of five times, not four out of five times. Sometimes the questions must be asked often, spread over a subtle persistence until you can see what is really behind the others resistance and,
uncover unspoken needs. Several encounters might be needed. Using
questions such as: How? Why? Could you give me an example? can be
very useful at this time. If your questions make it easy for the other
side to think and understand, they will listen more and ultimately give
you credit, while continuing to build the relationship. Different types
of questions are more appropriate in different situations. The question
categories on the opposite page, for example, appeal to different people
who have different ways of thinking. From working across cultures,
Ive learned that every culture has individuals who like one category
over another. Innovative questions allow open, free thinkingany answer is a right answer. Yet, a more analytical person feels comfortable
being asked analytical questions of sequence, steps, or relativity. Everyone likes to be asked an experience-based question because only they
have the right answer.
193
Purpose
Overhead
Initiate conversation.
Open
Stimulate thinking.
Closed
Direct
Open
Closed
Innovative
z
z
z
z
E
x
p
l
o
r
i
n
g
Analytical
Experience-Based
Include less-vocal
members.
Uncover additional
information.
Redirect negotiation
process.
Stimulate thinking.
Encourage additional
options.
Generate discussion.
Move toward shared
problem-solving.
Relate concepts and
reasoning.
Explore new information
and/or options.
Direct discussion toward
solutions.
Provide credibility.
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Common Ground
When managing the exchange, questions become the core of your
strategy. They are a bit more difficult to prepare because presuming the
other sides reactions requires a bit of role play in your planning. Nonetheless, it is much more effective than telling with a tone of authority.
195
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Common Ground
grandfather, Dziadzia, took my older sister and me to run errands and
shop. We would go to the butcher, fruit stand, bakery, and myriad other
destinations. In the end, we would always end up at the ice cream parlor. My Dziadzia would chat, network, negotiate, and chat some more.
He negotiated meat to meat and vegetables to the pound. He always
had options and weighed the external factors, like what was in season,
and that made a difference when buying fruit. He negotiated todays
bread versus yesterdays and the day before. He knew what was happening in the business world. He also was a deacon in the Russian
Orthodox Church, which helped to affirm his trustworthiness, and he
managed the Falcons Polish Club, which gave me a well-established
social network.
But most importantly, his first concern was consistently how to help
the other personto fill their needs. He built a strong network, negotiating and introducing one business owner to the other. He found common ground in their business issues and in relationships. He approached
with sound process and appropriate behaviors. His relationship with
each of them was solidtrust was never wobbly. Just as corporations
build a community of reliable and competent suppliers, he built a community of reliable providers. Of course, his ultimate authority was my
grandmotherat least when it came to veal, sweet cheese, and fresh
cabbage.
The Chinese are another great example of this style. After working in
China for many years, I noticed that when a Chinese person was asked a
question, even one of historic fact, they would preface their answer with
It depends. If I asked, Do the rural people of China usually farm?
The response would be, It depends how close they are to a city and in
which province they live, and what their family before them did.
If I said, The Chinese are more emotional than they initially appear. The response would inevitably be, It depends. The delivery is
neutralizing, nonconfronting, and inviting for commenta good way to
maintain a climate open to interaction and negotiation. It depends is effective for every culture. In Western cultures, we often feel that we must
have an answer and we immediately jump to a fact, a problem, an idea, or
a solution. The Western absolute often shuts down an open exchange.
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Common Ground
Thailand and its people. Consulting had finally paid offa warm destination in January (a welcome respite from the Chicago cold). There
were paradise-like accommodations, complete with a daily back massage on the sand, as the Thai women walked on my back and gave me
therapeutic relief with their feet.
The first week, I walked the beach every evening, stopping at a few of
the shops, getting to know four of the entrepreneurs well enough that by
the end of the week, we had tea together. They told me of the artists who
embroidered the shirts, of their town, and of their temperament. I purchased, after negotiating a good price, a couple of blouses for my daughters, a shirt for my son, and a good knock-off watch for my husband. The
shopkeeper said to me, as he handed me the shirts, This is good for you
and good for me. In the West, we would call that a win/win situation.
If one shop didnt sell what I was looking for, the owner would
recommend another down the beach. But it was important that I go to
the recommended shop and not somewhere else along the way. This
follow through showed my respect to the shopkeeper and reinforced
my reliability. But throughout my shopping adventures, I found that
none of the shops had an embroidered shirt large enough for my mom,
a solid size 16 by U.S. sizing standards.
At the end of the third week, one of the boutique owners had a shirt
made for my mother for me to take back to her. The price was half of
what I had paid for the first two he sold me. Why did he make this
gesture? He said it was because of my loyalty to his business. Now, a
few years later, I still purchase items from those shopkeepers, products
they send to me at one-fifth the cost of current purchase prices. We
built a relationship based on our values and needsshared and distinct. Together, we continue to negotiate and anticipate the others need.
And, I dont look off-the-shelf for anything I wear or givemy family
has worn some pretty strange-looking outfits.
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200
Common Ground
First, the Realtor knew I wanted to buy in a week and she still made
an attempt at pushing the sale, and I didnt believe her. Even if she was
telling the truth, I didnt believe her. The same is true working the
beach boutiques of Thailandtiming was everything. It is an important
part of building the relationship. If the dance moves too fast or you dip
at the inappropriate time emotions get the best of you, and you lose the
confidence of the lead partner in the dance. Trust becomes the primary
issue. Every statement and every question works toward trust.
Are you looking for a one-time-only dance partner or for a commitment to become regular partners? It makes a difference in your objective for the negotiation and in how you plan to reach your objective. If
your overwhelming concern is to satisfy the bottom line, your strategies will reflect the short term, and usually this comes at the highest
price. Even if this is not the other sides top priority it will become part
of their strategy to manage you. If time is your primary issue and it is
number 10 on their list of priorities, they can easily use it to wear you
down to give more in their yet-to-be-identified issues.
To reach an agreement is a demanding task. And when it is with a
culture different from yours, it can become a formidable undertaking.
It takes a great deal of focused effort and time. To get to a point, as
dance partners, where you can smoothly change the lead and the tempo
without loosing confidence in each other, is success and a testament to
established trust. Focusing on solutions and refraining from an us
versus them mentality will widen your options. Trust becomes the
basis for future business.
Snapshot of Venezuela
Venezuela is a beautiful country of more than 20 million people, the
majority of whom are mestizo, along with a very small percentage of
Amerindians. A representation of Italian, Portuguese, Arab, German,
and African ancestry compose the remainder of its population. Simon
Bolivar is recognized as the leader of Venezuela who won its independence from Spain. It is now a multi-party Republic with a president and
a council of ministers. It is, however, an authoritarian society that prefers decisions be made from the top. The official language is Spanish,
201
Cultural Considerations
B
202
Common Ground
Business Considerations
B
Negotiations
B
203
Within the negotiation, how well you manage your behaviors to maintain a friendly climate, open for a good exchange
is more important than the content of the negotiable issues.
It is more important that they like you and like doing business with you, than what you are offering as a business product or service.
After the first session, the senior member of the team should
send a thank-you note to the senior member of the Venezuelan
team.
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Building Trust
CHAPTER 13:
Building TTrust:
rust:
Vulner
abilit
onsistenc
Vulnerabilit
abilityy and C
Consistenc
onsistencyy
Trust men and they will be true to you; treat them greatly and they
will show themselves great.
Ralph Walso Emerson, Prudence, Essays: First Series (1841)
Agenda
A. Logic is not persuasivenegotiating includes emotion.
B. Levels of trust.
C. How to negotiate a relationship.
D. How to negotiate an inter-cultural agreement.
When the Four Strategic Virtues are consistent in a persons communication style and character, trust results. The best definition of a
cross-cultural trust is: confident expectations. Trust is the fundamental
basis for any working relationship. Consideration, Acceptance, Respect,
205
Establish Trust
How do you establish trust in a relationshipbusiness or personal?
What are the key factors? People respond to these questions in many
different ways. Some say honesty is essential, others say reliability, and
still others value follow-through most. All of these qualities are important in generating and building trust. When working across cultural and
business borders, there are three major factors that are essential in
establishing trust. These three components reinforce the Strategic
Virtues and are led by a:
z
Vulnerability.
Consistency.
Vulnerability is a prerequisite to a trusting relationship. In a competitive, capitalistic society being vulnerable is almost counter to our
cultureit would be exposing a weakness. Yet, without revealing a part
of yourself or of your organization that is less than six sigma, the exchange remains more formal and guarded. The message youre sending
206
Building Trust
to the other party is youre not trustworthy or, I dont yet trust that
you will see me as weak and not take advantage of my weakness. The
first step in building trust is to expose a vulnerability.
A vulnerability or openness that shadows the Four Virtues shows
that you trust the other person not to abuse, distort, or manipulate the
information you have shared. Revealing an issue, a need, or, perhaps, a
happening that might not be all positive outlines the sincerity of your
actions. It implies that whatever you say, you should be able to expect a
considered, nonjudgmental response. In our American culture, vulnerability is often seen as undermining our competitive edge. In a competition, one has to keep the upper hand. What you reveal and to whom
matters. In a negotiation, however, you will eventually have to move from
the competitive to the collaborative to come to a sound agreement.
The largest component of our society is business, and in second
comes sports.
In a competitive arena, vulnerability is a weakness. Living and working in a society that is both business- and sports-driven, its uncomfortable to be vulnerable or exposed, so we avoid it. Until we are willing to
become somewhat vulnerable, however, its difficult to develop a mutuality of trust. Whoever first shares a piece of information will not take
the lead. We have control over what we divulge and how we manage
collaboration.
A tough negotiation is about to take place with a government agency.
Lets call it, the Government Protection Agency, or the GPA. They are
negotiating with a Fortune 100 company; lets call it, the Blue Waters,
Inc., or BW. I once worked with the corporate team at BW. This morning the meeting is in the most austere Executive Conference Room.
Enormous in sizedark wood, from wall to floor, and window to door.
Formal and imposingblack and foreboding. The conference table, too
wide and too large for ping pong, could easily seat 24 people. The GPA
contingency arrivesthree of them. Dressed in business casuala collegiate look. They walk in straight backed as if carrying on the top of
their head the tray of authority only the government could hold. They
sit in a posture equally erect, ready to resist and to dictate. They have
the power of the law on their side.
207
208
Building Trust
The government had been manipulated and misinformed before,
and their best choice was to resist. Even if something was to their advantage, they didnt believe it. But the corporate team needed their
counterparts. The two groups had to start to rebuild trust from a long
history of distrust. The corporate team laid the new foundation by giving them small pieces of vulnerability. For example, the corporate team
revealed to the government team why the companys former process
for tracking invasive chemicals didnt work. This was their first exposure of a fault.
To rebuild trust takes an enormous amount of time, patience, and
fortitude. It requires a great deal of repetition of: being consistently
reliable, consistently generous with information, and transparently competent. This requires a sincere collaboration from the beginning of all
stages:
z
Investigation.
Development.
Initially most of your support material should come from an outside, neutral source. Every interaction could begin with askingasking
for information, for opinion, and for clarity. It is most helpful to have
all questions followed by why in order to better understand the other
sides reasons and to uncover possible hidden agendas. Both sides should
develop together and agree on processes to assure a better agreement
and implementation of the agreement. The establishment and documentation of actions to be taken is the result of the agreement and
would come with a commitment to do it. The approach must be one of
a new, full partnership, only more consistent and more rigorous.
The two groups did eventually rebuild a trustworthy relationship
it took more than two years to get back to a base level of trustand it
took formidable patience and perseverance on both sides. They realized they had to do it. This is good reason for working toward trust
from the beginning and remaining true to your principles.
For several years, I worked in the industrial zone of TianJin, a city
of about 9 million, on the Yahtzee River in China. I frequently worked
209
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Building Trust
The townspeople taught me a great deal, because they took an interest in me and I in them. We built a comfort in being together. This
mutual respect founded a solid base for trust. They showed me the
value of a gentle, quiet, and deliberate spirit as opposed to my abrupt,
voluminous, and intense temperament. They accepted my spirit because
it was sincere and part of my style. We didnt speak the same language.
We didnt have the same customs or traditions. Even our beliefs were
extremely different, yet we both prioritized the ideal of a benevolent,
virtuous man. It is possible to overcome the barriers and to see the
value of a different way.
211
212
Building Trust
separate, but one inside of the other. The balance of life is essential to
their being.
American businessmen try to protect their advantagethey keep it
business. They believe they must maintain their competitive posture,
and feel it is a risk to reveal anything personal.
Consider Consideration
These business orientations are just another example of differences
across cultures. But this gap can be bridged by shifting your focus from
what you believe about certain cultures, races, and religions to what
you can do to be a virtuous man or woman. It is important that you
recognize a need for being able to work well with the people in your
own group, department, or company, and then with your external customers. In other words, how can you work better with the diversity in
your work place or community? Doing this will make work easier and
more appealing. Eventually there might be a positive impact on your
original belief or bias.
Often, when working with someone from another culture our inner
feelings include, I just dont like him. He has such strange ways and he
doesnt try to understand what I want. Or it could be even more judgmental, Blacks can be so undependable, theyre never on time, or,
Indians are such pushy people, theyre always trying to take advantage
of you. Their only concern is getting what they want. Or The Orientals (instead of the Asians) are all the same, Chinese or Japanese, and
theyre so difficult to understand. Youre never quite sure what they
want. They never take the bull by the horns.
Shifting focus from what you perceive to be wrong with everyone
else to what you can do (or control) tends to work more effectively
with each individual, no matter what heritage, religion, age, gender, or
social level. Generally, an individual focuses on their own discomfort
and, subsequently, whats causing that discomfort. Each of us regards
our way of life, of thinking and of doing as the best way, and, as a result,
we weigh every other cultural tradition against our own circumstances.
The other influence on consideration is our drive for what we
consider to be normal and reasonable. If we drive on the right side of
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Building Trust
Trust Model
Open-mindedness
Acceptance
Ma
int
ips
sh
ing Relatio
n
i
n
a
TRUST
Empathy
Respect
The Trust Model, reveals Trust as the core for building a relationship. The Four Strategic Virtues ensure you will initiate and establish
Trust. Each virtue creates an environment conducive to a fortuitous
and progressive exchange. They ensure an atmosphere safe for comment, questioning, and suggestion. Problems are addressed with an
empathetic response. Respect accompanies every statement, process,
and actiondiscussion escalates and negotiable solutions result.
Managing ones own behavioral change is doable with immediate,
noticeable results. The benefits are numerous. Every organization with
a diverse work force and/or with business off shore can increase their
bottom line by being able to take advantage of the values of diversity.
Using diversitys strengths effectively helps to eliminate misunderstandings and errorsa direct improvement on service and product quality.
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Evaluating Emotion
Years ago we sold our first house by owner. We did our homework
and priced the house according to comparables in the area. We cleaned
and painted, tossed out all of the clutter, and mowed the lawn. We tried
to make it look as if no one actually lived there. The first day it went on
the market a couple came through at 9 a.m. They looked through the
house, asked questions about the utilities, the taxes, and the schools.
At 5 p.m. that day we had an offer for the asking price. How do you
think that made me feel? Selling to the first person who came through,
the first day, and for the asking price? Some say, Great! You lucked
out and sold it for the right price. Others say, Terrible. You should
have asked more. I had the latter feeling. Either feeling is just that
an emotion. Both sides need to feel they got a good deal, especially if
they are planning on a long-term relationship.
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Building Trust
I have had many executives in planning sessions, professionally say,
I dont let emotions enter into my business thinking. Yet, they are
the first to say, He took advantage of us and that makes me furious.
Or, That was too easyand it scares me that perhaps we missed something. Many times serving on an American team when negotiating with
China I have heard, Dont they have any concept of time? Time is
money. I have never been so frustrated. Emotions, good and bad, are
part of a negotiation. Being able to manage your own emotions and
knowing the impact of your emotions on the other side is an oftenoverlooked quality of a successful negotiator. Expressing your emotion
or feeling, while managing it, is most effective in establishing trust and
in clarifying issues. Letting the other side know that you are confused,
disappointed, or happy is part of building a trusting relationship. Being
aware that the other side also must feel as though they got a good
deal is an important part of your exchange.
Recently I was working with project teams who worked consistently
with counterparts in India and China. My objective was to help them
work more efficiently with their colleagues. Among them was a group of
managers of engineers with a hi-tech company in Chicago who had to
work with managers in Beijing, China, via e-mail every other day throughout the week. With regularity they would set up conference calls. Every
six to eight weeks, two or three members of the U.S. group would go to
China and work face-to-face with their Chinese colleagues. An issue arose.
The U.S. team set deadlines that were given to them by their superiors:
inform the Chinese what needed to be done and by when, offer them help
if they needed it, and close with an agreement to do it.
In essence, they were negotiating time, priority, and commitment.
The U.S. team didnt look at it like an internal negotiation or as an
opportunity to build relationships. It was an us-against-them scenario.
The Americans felt it was cut and dryno choice, just do as we say.
The Chinese told me they felt that the U.S. managers issued orders and
they had to obey. They felt devalued and responded by not performing
or, at times, not even responding. The U.S. managers said they had no
choice but to do what was asked of them and within the timeline given.
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A Nation of Superiority
CHAPTER 14:
A Na
tion of Superiorit
y:
Nation
Superiority:
Ask and Listen
Agenda
A. Two nationstwo perspectivestwo sets of priority of
values
B. Categories of questioning techniques
1. Definition.
2. Purpose and impact.
C. Strategic timing
1. Low threat questions and high threat questions.
2. Low trust language and high trust language.
3. Placement of BATNA.
4. Minute-by-minute trust building.
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A Nation of Superiority
Seldom have I heard individuals being coached to be humble
although sometimes it is needed. When our children were going for
their first job interviews after graduation, my husband advised each
one to be confident, assertive, and ask a lot of good questions. He never
mentioned being humble. The contrast or gap between be confident
and be humble reflects one part of the chasm between the priorities
of each culture and, many times, between their approaches doing business and building relationships. Boasting about your own or your teams
accomplishments, your product, or your past successes will not help to
persuade or move the other side to embrace your suggestions. It will,
more than likely, influence the other side to a posture that will eventually put you on the defensive.
If the focus is on the work, the partnership and supporting the needs
of the other, a level of perceived humility will evolve, and at the very
least, misplaced pride will not take center stage. In negotiations, focusing on the issues, identifying problems, and resolving differences will
create an atmosphere that supports the teams to move toward an agreement. As a result, the emphasis will be on partnering instead of competing. Trust will also grow between the two parties, which affords the
opportunity to build a better relationship.
Face to face, westerner to far-easterner, the environment might not
be conducive to a revealing exchange. Patting ones self on the back or
bragging about your product are chillers. These behaviors neither persuade nor influence the other side in either culture. Instead they annoy
or irritatein both edges of the hemisphere. In training sessions, I will
often give business managers a set of General Values, identified by one
word, such as Family, Education, Money, Time, Relationships, Professional
Advancement, Career, and Opportunities. I have them come to consensus in small groups on the top-three priorities for their motherland
and also another nationUnited States and China or Poland or
Colombia. They also cannot judge these priorities from their personal
perspective; it has to be the predominant perceived value of the national culture.
Many participants are surprised when the United States table comes
up with Money, Time, and Advancement; or Money, Advancement, and
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A Nation of Superiority
for building alternative options. Its often difficult for a westerner to
see the it depends within a negotiation because he or she wants to
move more quickly to resolution. The it depends can ease the implementation of the final agreement.
This thinking goes hand in hand with contracts. Contract versus
relationshipboth are valuable. My husband was exploring a joint
venture here in the United States with a U.S. company that used the
manufacturing facilities of a large corporation in China. I had taught
these young Chinese entrepreneurs several years earlier, and they were
now working for an American corporation and wanted to develop this
joint venture. They came to my husband and me to try to find the
joint venture partner because they wanted someone who spoke without
an accent to call on the businesses here, understanding how an Asian
accent can sometimes add tension and possibly a barrier to securing
the appointment. At the first meeting my husband asked whether they
had a contract with the company in China, and Victor answered, They
are long-time friends of my family. At the end of the third meeting
my husband said, Do we have the conditions of the joint venture
documented? Victor answered that when the time was right they
would have it because it is like family. If my husband Tim had pressed
them and insisted early in the discussions, he would have lost the opportunity. Timing of the questions is important. Also a nonlegal trust
of their relationship must be apparent to the other side because it will
be the beginning of a trustworthy relationship and eventually a suitable legal contract.
These differences can easily polarize efforts and become more intense with a contrasting set of priorities, which often complicate and
subvert a negotiation. It is imperative that we recognize that there are
natural and fabricated walls that go up because people want to feel
comfortable and safe within the parameters of their own culture
business and national. These barriers are differences. Each persons
current needs are considered in an historical perspective, which helps
to set their priority of needs. The anticipation of a long-term relationship and its affect on current needs is also a strong consideration for
both sides. Standing firm on a contract when you havent yet established
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A Nation of Superiority
team in local knowledge, relationships, and governmental connections.
After all, the Americans felt it was an American-owned company and
they had the power of 80-percent ownership. It is almost impossible to
create positive solutions if one side abuses the power they have. According to many national accounting firms, the Good Will percentage
can be up to 30 percent when determining the value of a company. It is
tempting to go for it all when you have the power, but this is actually
the critical time to wear your principles on your sleeve. If you are strong
or you have the favor of the deciding governing body, use the power to
come to the solution that best services your organization while also
servicing the other side. As Voltaire said, Virtue between men is the
commerce of good actions. The business or commerce of good action
is the essence of good relationships. If you use your power to develop a
balance in the agreement, you will be building a stronger relationship.
Empathy is the willingness and ability to walk in another persons
shoes. Empathy can mean different things to different peoplefrom an
understanding to an expression reflecting mutual feelings. In our training sessions, we define it as a show of concern for the others need, based
on the premise that you have identified their needs. In other cultures it
can also be defined as a show of concern for the other. Many times the
U.S. businessperson is working on proving his or her own power and
competing with the perceived power on the other side, while ignoring
others needs and being seen as a cold, nonreceptive personfriendly,
but a bit self-centered. The empathy factor is important, especially when
negotiating across cultures where a lot is frequently misunderstood.
Empathy brings with it versatility. If you can identify with the other
persons issues, you can usually respond better to their requests. To
ask and to listen becomes a norm for the exchange. To answer and to
reveal reinforces the trust.
Question Empathetically
The skill of empathizing can move the exchange simultaneously from
low-threat questions into more high-threat questions. Fact-collecting
questions set the stage because they reveal very little about problems or
results. Instead, their focus is on what exists. Build on the information
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A Nation of Superiority
Good questions get people involved, initiating the first step toward
buy-in. Another bonus is the ability to identify new needs and wants
from the other party. Each of these benefits moves the two parties toward problem-solving, and away from I-must-have. When confused,
ask. When put on the defensive, ask. When in doubt ask. When presuming, ask. A question is a safe strategy, and global interactions require more clarification and more frequent asking. You are working to
develop a community of trust and move closer to your agreement.
Asking Questions
Questions
Type
M
a
n
a
g
i
n
g
Purpose
Overhead
z Initiate conversation.
Open
z Stimulate thinking.
Closed
Direct
Open
z Uncover additional
information.
Closed
z Stimulate thinking.
z Encourage additional options.
E
x
p
l
o
r
i
n
g
z Generate discussion.
z Move toward shared problem-solving.
Analytical
Experience-Based
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Embrace BATNA
BATNAthe Best Alternative to No Agreementis effective depending on timing, the manner of delivery, and the validity of the message. If
you use your BATNA too soon into the negotiation you lose credibility
and trust. For example, say you are going to your boss to ask for a promotion and a commensurate raise in salary. You have been informally offered
a position with another firm at a higher level with a small increase in salary
your BATNA. You would prefer staying where you are because you like
the organization and its people, and you are comfortable with the processes they use and their way of doing business. If you are beginning the
negotiation with your superior, you would explore your options. If progress
seems at a stand-still, then you could introduce your BATNA and tell them
you would prefer continuing your work with them, but you would have to
give serious consideration to other oppertunities. You would prefer not
leaving the company. Sincerity is the essence of this exchange. Then, your
BATNA doesnt sound too much like a threat or ultimatum. It sounds like
what is and it leaves your superior aware that you have a choiceto stay
or to leave. The timing and the way you introduce your BATNA can help
determine your outcome.
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A Nation of Superiority
Because the United States is considered a telling nation and not
an asking nation, I often think of the numerous assumptions and presumptions made, upon which much of the telling is based. Working
across cultures seems to actually promote assumingeither out of fear
of the unknown or anxiety over finding out the unknown, another assumption is that what isnt known or understood, will be bad. I am not
certain, and I find myself assuming what the causes of the consistent
assumptions are. If I tell a team to ask the other side, they are uncomfortable if it has to do with traditions or customs. There are ways to ask
without it sounding like an interrogation or a threat or a patronizing
question. Sincerity and interest deliver the message in a tone of consideration and concern. If it is asked out of frustration and control, it
could sound more threatening.
Typically, one person will say to the other side, Do you understand? and the other side will politely reply, I do understand, or just
nod. And everyone thinks they are on the same page. It is the weakest
form of clarification. It doesnt check actual understanding or agreement. It would be better to ask a content-rich question that would
secure a level of understanding while also saving face if there is a misunderstanding. For example, Do you think this new process for tracking would be beneficial in your department?...In what way? or, Do
you anticipate facing any obstacles using this tracking system? Asking
good questions will result in good discussion, which can reveal areas of
misunderstanding. Many good questions should be followed with why
so that strategically you may uncover reasons, motives, and, of course,
needsboth personal and organizational. Presuming is high risk, but
checking and knowing is calculated risk.
Putting aside an interrogation or inquisition, questions represent a
masterful tool for avoiding confrontations, closed-mindedness, and stalemates. If someone is trying to put you on the defensive, dont respond
with a defensive statement. Instead, ask a question. When in doubt or
confused, ask for clarity. When ready to give your fourth or fifth suggestion, stop and ask the other side first what they would like to propose. If you tell too often you can be perceived as concerned only with
your point of view or your needs. In the end, the information and clarity
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CHAPTER 15:
John W
ayne Is Dead
Wa
Dead::
The Most Diffic
ul
tia
torsFrom
Difficul
ultt Nego
Negotia
tiatorsFrom
Two Perspec
tives (Ours and TTheirs)
heirs)
Perspectives
Agenda
A. Characteristics of the most difficult Western negotiator.
B. Traps we fall into.
C. Characteristics of the Silent One.
D. How to deal with the most difficult negotiators.
People bring individual perspectives, social styles, and personal
idiosyncrasies to the negotiating table. Your versatility in dealing with
these idiosyncrasies (theirs and yours), will greatly influence the outcome of your agreement. Difficult people require you to address the
interpersonal need in a way that makes them feel comfortable. I am a
person who thinks broadly about how to resolve any problem within
the big picture. If I am negotiating with any of my engineering clients
(more technical business partners), I reinforce my flamboyant style
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Resistance.
Retreat.
Obstinacy.
232
John Wayne was a hero and, at the same time, a man to be feared
paradoxically a villain. Except, John Wayne was always on the side of
the good people, fighting evil. He walks in with an arrogant swagger. He
pulls up a chair (if he ever sat down) and straddled it, looming over the
table and telling it like it isfor him and the good people. He is confident, unshakeable, and imposing. He means what he says and says what
he means. If he doesnt get what he wants, he issues an ultimatum or a
threat. He works to decide how and when to hurt or wound the other
side if they dont do what he wants. His entire demeanor reflects a thisis-not-negotiable attitude, so listen up. But remember, he is always dealing with the bad guy.
To the other cultures, John Wayne is a friendly yet a demanding
other partygiving an opportunity to work for him and obey his orders. He is kind, when it is his way. He represents a narrow and rigid
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Battle Silence
The most difficult negotiator for an American businessperson to
see across the table is the Silent Onethe strong, silent, and elusive
counterpart of John Wayne. American businesspeople have difficulty
negotiating with a side that embraces a poker face, someone who doesnt
give much of an indication of yay or nay, and is externally nonreactive.
With very little indication of whether they like the road you are taking,
Americans are easily frustrated. This doesnt mean they dont talk, it
means they dont give much of an indication if they like it or they dont
like itthe spontaneous feedback needed to highlight progress
appealing or objectionable.
Whats more, pleasantly appointed comments such as I understand
or I agree, are even more frustrating. The other side is saying that
they actually do understand what you are saying and agree that it is as
youve said, but they are also saying that they dont necessarily agree
with your request or your solution. This is one who could say yes as an
acknowledgement of hearing it or as an I see statement, and inside is
thinking Why dont you ask me? To further describe this Silent One,
he or she is also slow in their response and in their tactics. A slow,
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These traps eat up valuable time, slow the process of building a productive relationship, and can also undermine our trustworthiness. What
we should be doing instead is:
z
z
z
z
z
This Silent One is more difficult than the pessimist or the confronter:
with the pessimist and the confronter, you still have an idea of what they
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Verbal Behaviors
CHAPTER 16:
Verbal Beha
viors
Behaviors
viors::
Wha
ou Sa
ou Sa
hatt Y
You
Sayy and How Y
You
Sayy It
Agenda
A. Maintaining a listening climate.
B. Management of behaviors.
C. Benefits of a pattern of behaviorsethical.
D. Influencing the culturesthe negotiating behaviors.
E. Negotiating behaviors to avoidbehaviors to use.
F. A friend in Chinaa business partner in the United States.
From parents to family, from friends to work colleagues, and from
community to media, there are many influences on a persons development. As a result, each of us acquires religious and secular beliefs in
addition to attitudes toward people, lifestyles, personal styles, and cultural stereotypes. Biases and prejudices eventually result. Without reason or good sense, we believe what we believe. Its almost like an act of
239
Behavioral Approach
Values
Attitudes
Behaviors
Results
Confident
Trust
Integrity
Expectations
240
Verbal Behaviors
The change begins with a small verbal behavior. The same is true
for building trust. It begins with what you say and what you do. The
behaviors that influence a $50,000 deal are the same that influence a $1
billion deal. And even better, the most effective behaviors used in India
work in Colombia, Russia, and the United States. They are behaviors
that diffuse, reinforce, attest to listening, and, in the end, reflect a concern for the other sides needs. They are the behaviors that assure
Consideration, Acceptance, Respect, and Empathythe Strategic Virtues. Today, all good business transactions require good negotiating
skills and the behaviors that support them. Your behaviors reflect your
character and personal honor.
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Verbal Behaviors
errors. These seven behaviors are: Ask, Probe, Acknowledge, Paraphrase, Summarize, Build, and Behavior Alert.
Influencing Behaviors
Perceived
interest in
others
Influencing
Behaviors
Business
Impact
Ask
More Harmony
Better solutions
Interpersonal
Impact
Probe
Acknowledge
Listening
reinforcement
Reduces error
improves quality
Maintains
relationships
Summarize
Behavior
Alert
Build
Builds a
foundation
for trust
Clarify
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Verbal Behaviors
I once met a sales manager in a five-day workshop who took on the
responsibility of training his own men in what he knew was best for
sales. Before he joined the corporate arena, he was a career military
officer. I was trying to convince him how important verbal reinforcement was as a spontaneous form of feedback, and, of course, to keep a
solid group dynamic going for learning. His typical reinforcers were,
bad answer. Mary, you give it a try. No, cant work. Dick, give me
something doablethink before you answer next time. This was candor shooting from the hip, and it hurt. His videotapes convinced him
that people stopped talking after a few of his zingers. By the end of the
week he had made progress, his least negative was, Ill throw that up
for challenge! Glory, glory, hallelujah! The underlying objective
during every negotiation session is to keep it open for a beneficial exchange until an agreement is reached.
Negotiating Behaviors
Creative Problem-Solving
Appears open
and honest
increases clarity
Negotiating
Impact
Business
Impact
Express
Interpersonal
Impact
Feelings
Behavior
Alert
Indicate
Disagreement
Rankle
Stalls negotiations
reduces trust
Attack
Increases risk
maybe
perceived as
unwilling
Irritates
creates
defensiveness
antagonizes
Reason
Overload
Counter
245
Less chance of
total agreement
may complicate
issue
246
Verbal Behaviors
promoting the learning process. The most effective technique for avoiding being on the defensive, asking reinforces that you are concerned
with the other partys needs and that is the only path to influencing
someone else. It signals your interest in their opinions and ideas instead of being concerned only with your own point of view.
A good question gets a visceral responsesomeones first thought,
which often doesnt yet have depth. Probing questions, however, pursue
the initial answer given. They are questions that guide and ease the
thought processperhaps relating one idea to another or expanding on
a suggestion. They are invaluable because you cant ask one without
listening to someone, and your probing could guide the other side to
the development of a solution. Questioning gives value to the other
sides thinking and their ability to problem-solve or create. Probing is
listening translated into questions. A probing question says, I heard
your answer and now I want to know more of what you think. Questions followed by probing questions, given direction by positive and
neutral reinforcers, and an occasional summary, generate a verbal dynamic that is both productive and trust building.
Asking questions, out of interest, and with the confidence that every person is competent and reliable usually reflects a collaborative
approach. Asking interrogative questions, on the other hand, would be
the same as dictating all the answers. Most individuals in the business
247
These are two people going along side by side, but the exchange is
not there and the outcome of the cocktail conversation is, Ill go onto
the next person. Neither person feels valued and the depth of conversation is cocktail party, not long private dinner. If you value a
persons opinion or thought, you will invite them to dinner to hear what
they think. If you want to pay back a large number of people, you invite
them for cocktails and cross them off your need-to-entertain-them list.
Its the same with developing business relationships. If you are thinking long term and want to develop and retain a customer, you invite
them to dinner. If you go after securing customers and possibly satisfying them, you think more short term and invite them for cocktails. If
you value the competency or reliability of the person, you ask and dont
tell. If you value the difference in the culture, you ask to learn more.
All of the Strategic Virtues, especially Respect and Consideration,
are supported and strengthened by questioning. To summarize, asking
diffuses defensive posturing, demonstrates a considered attention, and
reinforces the other persons value of opinion, thought, or process, and
in the end gets out important information needed to minimize misunderstandings and errors. This is the first block used in building trust.
Asking and probing are two influencing behaviors that promote a
more harmonious work environment, and at the same time set in motion a behavioral process for generating better solutions. The work group
perceives you are interested in their input, and they work harder to
implement solutions.
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Verbal Behaviors
Listening is the primary requirement for increasing productivity
while ensuring quality. Good listening skills reduce misunderstandings
and errors, which directly affect quality and efficiency. Astute listening
is reinforcing to an individual and to a group. It says, I value what you
say or contribute, and I want to hear more.
The four verbal behaviors that exemplify astute listening are:
1. Acknowledge
2. Paraphrase
3. Summarize
4. Build
Often when someone is upset or confused they want to lash out or
put you on the defensive. Sometimes there is a divisive controversy and
listening can help make the discussion more productive with well-placed
segments of discussion from both sides. An acknowledgement is succinctly repeating what someone said without showing agreement or disagreement. It neutrally states that you were listening and heard their
concerns. For example, if an employee says to his supervisor, Yeah,
we worked our tails off to get the project done on time and our only
reward was more work with an even tighter schedule, its easy to say
what you think, such as, Yup, thats life! However your objective is
to keep that employee productive. You can instead acknowledge what
he said by saying, Yes, youve worked hard to get this project completed successfully and according to schedule. What can we do to help
make this next job less time-consuming for you and your group? The
acknowledgement diffuses and reinforces. It keeps the other contributing and progressing instead of losing time because of perceived lack of
respect or lack of appreciation. This is also effective when someone is
trying to put you on the defensive: answering their question will never
address what they want. They want to put you on the defensive!
Paraphrasing and Summary are exceptional tools in demonstrating
value and recognition to an individual or to thinking and contribution.
Paraphrasing is restating or rephrasing what someone just saidfor
clarity, understanding, or focus. A summary is also a restatement, but
it usually includes more than two items. It refocuses the person or group
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Verbal Behaviors
Asking and listening graciously show that you value the others input. As
a result, you will create a collaborative and problem-solving dynamic.
Minimize Misunderstandings
The last behavior is labeled Behavior Alert. Neil Rackhams original
Huthwaite Group Research indicates that this little, simple technique
helped to build trust and to minimize misunderstandings. After years
of observation of international negotiations, it has been confirmed that
this behavior is extremely beneficial, especially when negotiating with a
group of people whose first language generally is not common in the
group. A Behavior Alert introduces what you are going to say next. The
following are a few examples:
z
Allow me to summarize
These verbal warnings of what will come next are valuable to someone listening to English as a foreign language. It invites them into the
discussion in a considerate manner. It requires minimal effort to add this
small change to your behaviors, and it has such a grand and important
affecte. People listening will listen better following a behavior label because they know what theyre waiting to hear. And it has the added value
of trust building, which helps to keep the negotiation progressing.
Prioritize Values
Collective behavior is what we call culture. Throughout the 1990s
many of the major U.S. corporations worked to change their business
culture. But because culture is behavior, its very difficult to change.
Behavior has to change individual by individual, influencing the group.
There has to be an element of trust already established within the organization so that people have confidence in the people who recommend
changes. Upper management that has not previously exhibited commitment
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Verbal Behaviors
Acceptance, Respect, and Empathy. Whether you hold some strong beliefs regarding certain cultures you will have maintained your integrity
through protecting the other cultures.
Prepare Options
Negotiating with your competitor is very difficult. Often times working with groups such as the federal government or with the Environmental Protection Agency, its a requirement to partner projects with
your competition. Many times the cards are dealt in your favor and you
hold the trump card, and you think, Lets get em. You charge ahead.
Your thinking is for this negotiation and this negotiation onlyyoure
not thinking long term when your competitor may hold the trump card.
Addressing every negotiation as if you will be dealing with this person
for eternity colors your approach and your objective. When you have
more perceived power, more leverage, and can more easily manage the
options offered, you should be a benevolent negotiator.
As a parent of four teenagers, I recognize the power of developing
options. When my daughter, Moira (the newest driver and fourth child
in the family), asked to use my car to take four of her best friends to
the movies and out for pizza, I was ready with my options. Sure, you
may use the car, but you have two considerations. You can either pick
them up for the movies, bring the pizza home with you, and then have
their parents pick them up here after, or, have their parents drop them
off here at our house for the movies and return for them here at 11:30,
and you drive to the movies and to the pizzeria and enjoy the pizza at
the restaurant. Both options werent perfect, but they were viable.
With our first child, a year apart, I would have instantly reacted
with, No, you cant pick up each of them, go to the movies, out for
pizza, and then drive all of them home! Immediately, our first born,
Stephen, would answer with, Yes, I can! You just dont trust me with
your car. Andrea would have argued with Stephen to use the car and
the discussion would move toward who trusted whom instead of a solution to driving the car that night. By the time we got to the solution, we
didnt like each other.
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Be Consistent
The opening of a negotiation sets the tonehostile, friendly, or
guarded. The other side can only judge you by what you say and do.
They dont know your motives, nor do they care what your motives are
until you decide to reveal more of your values and principles. Your
words should stay consistent with previous statements. For example, if
you are a manufacturer selling directly to distributors, and you have a
product that did very well this year, the demand seems to be stable, and
youre negotiating an extension on the contract that is soon to elapse.
You are attempting to maintain a friendly ambiance because this distributor is one of your best, so you tell them how much you appreciate
their reliability, their professionalism, and the valued, long-term relationship youve built. Then you proceed to almost double the price of
the product. On one hand, you blow kisses and tell them you love them,
and then you take advantage of a higher-than-most profit, which says,
I dont love you that much. Every word you say is heard and then
interpretedmessages must be consistent and action is the key.
As Ive said, negotiations are one on one. It is never the United States
versus Chinait is Condeleeza Rice versus Hu Jintao, president of China.
The exchange is dependent on behaviors, reinforced by your approach,
preparation, and the data. You could appear very well prepared with a
briefcase full of data, but what you say and how you say it could undermine
the outcome. You are the persuasive, influencing piece of the negotiation.
If you persist in telling and proposing, you will be perceived as centered on your needs or concerns. If you ask, probe, and acknowledge,
you will be perceived as concerned about their needs. When you paraphrase or summarize the other partys contributions, using their words,
it puts their words in print. Your paraphrase tells them that you listened and you value what they say.
Maintaining an open and nonthreatening climate for a collaborative
and trust-building exchange requires managing your verbal behaviors,
while working to influence the behaviors of the other side. Agreements
that are reached in a threatening and bullying way are often followed by
a difficult implementation, packed full of continuing, follow-up
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Verbal Behaviors
negotiations. A long-term relationship is questionable since the trust
needed to value working together is subject to threats and ultimatums.
Research also shows that coercive methods to persuade are not effective for the relationship.
Scenerio
How to Respond
Impact
Agree with the other persons suggestions and then Build on his or her idea.
Example: Thats a good idea. Could
you please investigate other options and
then present them to the team at our
next meeting?
A person doesnt do his part on Ask him what he could do to improve
the team and/or doesnt follow the process thats in place. Then put
him in charge of touch points for the
through.
team. When he follows through, be
sure to acknowledge it and him.
Builds confidence
through expectation and
reinforcement.
Confident expectation
supports improvement and
development of initiative.
The U.S. business culture
relates show initiative to
an aggressive approach.
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Reinforced self-confidence.
Ask questions from their past experiences and continue to Ask how these
relate beneficially to the present.
Talking about the positives and
negatives of the past is beneficial to this
person. Reinforce the value of their
experience and Build on it.
Snapshot of Brazil
Brazil is the largest country in South America, with a population of
188 million, 55 percent of whom are of Portuguese ancestry. Half of
this nations population is less younger than 20 years old, and 90 percent of Brazils population live on a 200-mile stretch of the Atlantic
coast10 percent of Brazils overall landscape.
The country is culturally diverse and is not Hispanic. While most residents are of Portuguese lineage, 40 percent are of mixed heritage, including
African, Asian, and Germans. Less than 1 percent is of Amerindian descent.
Brazil is a multiparty federal republic with a president and two legislative houses: a senate and a Chamber of Deputies, similar to many other
South American countries. Portuguese is the official language though some
people speak German, Spanish, Italian, French, English, and Amerindian
languages. In fact, studies have documented 234 languages in this country.
In Brazil, there is a strong sense of class and status related to a
persons job. Similar to other South American countries, division between rich and poor is distinct. Machismo is also strong with Brazilian
men who expect women to be subservient
Cultural Considerations
B Unlike their sister countries Brazilians do not want to talk
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Verbal Behaviors
B Their approach to problem-solving is to favor subjective feel-
close to you when they are talking with you. They like to make
physical contact: touching your shoulder, your arm, or patting
your back. Do not back awaythey could consider that insulting.
B The United States gesture for okay is vulgar in Brazil.
B Conservative suits are most appropriate, especially for women.
In Brazil, the acceptability of your dress can shake the balance of your business relationship with a Brazilian. Jeans
are unacceptable. For casual, men should weak slacks and
long-sleeved shirts.
B Gifts, after the first meeting, are acceptable. They could be
Business Considerations
B Brazilians are not punctual, but you should be patiently punctual.
B Make appointments a week ahead.
B 10 a.m. to noon is a good time to meet, and then take a
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States citizens; the Brazilians, similar to the Canadians, consider themselves American.
Negotiations
B Be patientthis advice was given to me before I traveled to
and representatives.
B Be resilient. Brazilians will review material, data, and num-
relationship.
B Do not use Argentina as a third-party reference, because
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CHAPTER 17:
Get
ting Ahead of
Getting
the C
ul
tur
al C
hanges
Changes
Cul
ultur
tural
Control over change would seem to consist in moving not with it,
but ahead of it.
Marshall McLuhan, Understanding Media: The Extensions of Man
259
260
261
262
263
264
265
266
Index
Index
behavior,
acceptance of, 109
importance of correct, 148
recognizing your own, 264
asking,
probing versus, 248
the importance of, 181
Chile, 20
business considerations of, 184-185
cultural considerations of, 184
negotiations in, 185-186
snapshot of, 183-186
China, 19
business considerations of, 36
cultural considerations of, 35
dos and donts of, 35
growth of, 33
negotiations in, 44
267
culture,
American, 126
business, 16
Chinese, 27, 36
Chinese, 36
definition of, 27
embracing, 142
expectations of a business, 113
individual, 107
Japanese, 45-48
male-dominated, 212
Western, 14, 159, 197
development, a sample of question, 247-248
differences, prioritizing, 144
digital respect, showing, 246
diversity,
definition of, 142
embracing, 142
influencing behaviors and, 243
understanding cultural, 95
divide, crossing the cultural, 162
Eastern Europe, 19
close up of, 68-69
exposure to, 91
Communist Party, 34
competition, 39-48
advantages of, 128
criticism, 189
268
Index
Getting the Mandate diagram, 175
greeting, negotiating, 174
ground, common, 183
gut feeling, using your, 179
handicap, the cultural, 196
Hong Kong, 19
business considerations of, 115-116
cultural considerations of, 115
negotiations in, 116-117
snapshot of, 114-117
hostility, neutralizing, 158
inclusion, 53
India, 19
cultural considerations of, 133-135
dos and donts of, 136
negotiations in, 136-138
revolutionizing business, 33-34
snapshot of, 132-138
key issues,
identifying, 177
targeting, 178
knowledgeable, being perceived as, 169
Korea, 19
lack of concern, displaying a, 166
language,
as a cultural barrier, 59
bridging differences with, 66-68
communicating with, 60
excluding, 57
including, 57
interpreting, 86-87
obstacles of, 63
understanding a different, 57-58
leverage, issues and, 196
listening,
acknowledging and, 249
astute, 188
summarizing and, 249
verbal behaviors for, 249
management development, 14
mandate,
getting the, 175
securing a, 181
setting the, 174, 176-178
innovative questions, 33
integrity,
individual, 144-145
respecting individual, 241
market, Asian, 32
international training, 14
multi-national businesspeople, 56
issues,
clarifying, 177
identifying, 176
possible solutions for, 183
targeting key, 178
music,
importance of business and, 143-144
importance of, 61
pronunciation of words in, 61
Japan, 19
snapshot of, 45-48
cultural considerations, 46
business considerations, 47
negotiations with, 48
269
power,
balance of, 166-168, 187
definition of, 168
negotiating, 168
270
Index
establishing worst-case, 179-180
United States, 20
business considerations of the, 83
cultural considerations of the, 82-83
negotiations of the, 83-84
snapshot of the, 80-84
society of the, 81
values,
Asian culture and, 108
finding commonalities in, 145
prioritizing, 251-252
prioritizing, 93-97
Venezuela, 20
business considerations of, 203
Columbia compared to, 151-152
cultural considerations of, 202
negotiations of, 203-204
snapshot of, 201-204
verbal behaviors for listening, 249
verbal behaviors, 239-258
virtue,
acceptance, 110
meaning of, 122
superiority,
a nation of, 219-230
Americans and, 220
Asian cultures and, 220
attitude of, 78
the barrier of, 74-75
Wayne, John, 22
weakness,
revealing, 145
vulnerability as a, 207
thinking,
embracing long-term, 198
practical, 169
strategic, 169
time, importance of, 62, 151, 221
tone, setting the right, 160
Total Quality Management, 54
traditions, learning the, 141
Trans-cultural alignment model, 106-107, 112
trust model, 215
trust,
271
About the
Author
C atherine M. Lee
Catherine M. Lee, with her husband, Timothy, lives in Barrington,
Illinois, a suburb of Chicago. She left the paid workforce for twenty
years to raise her four children and re-entered into business with a
background in Medieval French and Spanish literatures. She remains
involved politically and professionally with her community. As a grandmother of six, her past time is the six, and her second priority is promoting the integrity of doing business, for their future.
Catherine negotiates everythingfrom open-air markets to Macys,
from food to fitness, and from salaries to joint ventures. Her children
ask her to shop for them, but prefer not to shop with her.
Catherine Lee is the founder and President of CDL & Associates,
an international training and management development company serving major corporations in North America, the Pacific Rim, Latin
America, and Europe, including Motorola and BP (AMOCO), its first
two clients. She has been training businesspeople in negotiating since
1990. Catherines political involvement has required negotiations with
municipalities, state and federal governments, and countless officials
from other countries. She was recently named one of the most influential woman business owners in the greater Chicago area. She also works
internationally to support women to economic independence. CDL &
Associates, Inc., 847.381.2269, e-mail: clee@cdlassociates.com,
www.cdlassociates.com.
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