A LEADERS GUIDE TO WHY PEOPLE

BEHAVE THE WAY THEY DO

Effective leaders understand why the people
they are trying to influence behave the way
they do, effective leaders mental models of
leadership go beyond giving orders and
assuming compliance for monetary rewards.
The Beginnings
When we are born, we begin a three to six
months process of becoming simply, aware of
our individuality, that we are separate, that we
are no longer totally encased in the identity of
another human being. Depending on our
developing personality and its holism we tend
to develop strategies to influencing others.
Solidifying the Tendencies
Leaders must take into account all of this
levels of similarity and dissimilarity, whether
one is opening a new plant overseas or trying
to motivate an underperforming employee to
do better.
Memes: are the ideas and beliefs that people
develop and pass on to others over time.
Motivation
The vanilla leaders view of motivation
generally includes two ideas-rewards and
punishments.
The Rational-Emotive Model
The REB model includes several elements:
events and our perceptions of them, values and
assumptions we have about the way the world
"should" be, conclusion or judgment about the
present situation, feeling and behavior.
Events
To paraphrase the common street meme,
"things happen." people speak to us. or don't.
doors open. or close.
Perception and Observations
an observations, as we use it here means
simply what would be visible to an
impersonal, unemotional camera's eye. an
MANAGING ONESELF
Know what you are good at. a person can
perform only from strengths. one cannot build
performance on weaknesses, let alone
something once cannot do at all.
Feedback Analysis:
Feedback analysis is the only way to
identify your strengths

observation is a description as opposed to a

judgment.
VABEs
when we observe something, we immediately
compare that event with our personal set of
Values,
Assumptions,
Beliefs,
and
Expectations (VABEs) about the way the
world should be. if there is a gap between
what we observe and what we except, we have
a problem. if there is no gap, things are as they
should be or the way other people should
behave.
External Conclusions
the key to understanding why people behave
the way the do is in the comparison of what
they see and what they believe ought to be, the
comparison between one's perceptions and
one's VABEs. it is not events that take place
around us that determine what we do; rather, it
is the comparison we make between what that
place around us and our personal, basic
assumptions about what ought to be taking
place that motivates our activity.
Internal Conclusions
human also have the capacity to observe and
judge themselves. we can call the observations
we make about ourselves our self-image. we
make self-judgment or conclusion by
comparing what we believe we should be with
what the see ourselves doing, that we are good
fathers, good golfers, poor driver, terrible
poets and so on. the conclusion can affect our
behavior on a number ways.
Feelings
Whether our conclusion are internal or
external they tend to generate emotions.
Behavior
behavior is another result of the comparison
we make between events and our VABEs.
behavior is as we're using it here simple what
people say and do. it is that which we or a
camera can observe.
Write down expected outcome for your
key decisions and actions. 9 to 12 months
later, compare them with the results.
Action plan:
o Put yourself where your strengths can
produce results
o Work to improve your strengths

o Avoid intellectual arrogance, acquire

skills as required
o Remedy bad habits, have no lack of
manners
o Know what not to do, identify
incompetence areas and avoid them
Do not try to change yourself (too much)
instead, work harder to improve the way you
perform. The mirror test: ethics require that you
ask yourself, "what kind of person do I want to
see in the mirror in the morning?"
Personal value system should be compatible
with that of the organization's. the typical
conflicts to avoid are:
organization's commitment to new vs. old
employees
incremental
improvements
or
risky
breakthroughs
emphasis on short term result vs. long term
goals
quality vs. quantity and growth vs.
sustenance
In other words, values are, and should be, the
ultimate test for your comp ability with an
organization. Mathematicians, musician and
cooks are usually mathematicians, musician and
cooks by the time they are four or five years
old. Highly gifted people must realize early
where do they belong, or rather where do they
not belong.
Successful careers are not planned
Successful careers develop when people are
prepared for opportunities because they
know their strength their method of work
and their values
Knowing where one belongs can transform
and ordinary person, hardworking and
competent but otherwise mediocre into an
outstanding performer.

A knowledge worker's quest on contribution

involves:
What does the situation require?
Given my strengths, methods, and values,
what is "'the" great contribution to what
needs to be done?
What results have to be achieved to make
difference?
It is rarely possible to look too far ahead, 18
months should be planned to:
Achieve meaningful results and make a
difference
Set stretched and difficult goals that are
reachable
Gain visible and measurable outcome
Define course of action, what to do, where and
how to start, and what goals, objectives and
deadlines to set. Bosses are neither the 'title' on
the Org chart nor the 'function' to adapt to what
makes the boss more effective is the secret of
'managing the boss'. Taking the responsibility of
communicating how you perform reduces
personality conflicts. Organizations are built on
trust between people, not necessarily meaning
that they like each other, but that they
understand one another.
In the knowledge industry
Mostly, success is at best an absence of
failure
Knowledge
workers
outlive
the
organizations
Knowledge workers are mobile, and may
not stay put
The need to manage oneself is therefore
creating a revolution in human affairs.
Managing oneself required new and
unprecedented things from the individual to the
point where each knowledge working thinks
and behaves like a CEO.
WHAT MAKES A LEADER
Daniel Goleman opens his article with a quick reference about a leader who fails and a leader who
soars when given similar opportunities. What determines who has the right stuff to be a truly great
leader?
Goleman believes each leadership situation is to be studied as unique but one common thread is
undeniablea high level of emotional intelligence.

As summarized in the article, what distinguishes great leaders from merely good ones is emotional
intelligence (EI), a group of five skills that enable the best leaders to maximize their own and their
followers' performance. The EI skills are:
Self-awareness - knowing one's strengths, weaknesses, drives, values, and impact on others
Self-regulation - controlling or redirecting disruptive impulses and moods
Motivation - relishing achievement for its own sake
Empathy - understanding other people's emotional makeup
Social skill - building rapport with others to move them in desired directions.
Dr. Goleman notes that we are each born with certain levels of EI skills, but we can strengthen these
abilities through persistence, practice, and feedback from colleagues or coaches.

UNDERSTAN
DING COMMUNICATION IN ONE-ON-ONE RELATIONSHIP
Everyone has experienced interpersonal conflicts and misunderstandings in both their personal and
professional lives. So pervasive is this phenomenon that it takes up a disproportionately large amount
of space in the literature written for and by managers. Indeed, the expression "communication problem"
is now used so commonly that it is often applied to just about any difficulty that exists between two
people, whether or not a communication problem actually exists. Not all interpersonal problems or
conflicts are communication problems. Two managers may have difficulty working with each other for
many different reasons. They may understand each other extremely well (and therefore not have a
communication problem); however, one may not act as the other wishes.
"Effective" Communication versus "Good" Communication
The major common concern is with effective communication. And it is a suitable concern for people in
management who are constantly trying to use communication to obtain specific results. When a
communication does obtain the intended outcomes, it can be properly called "effective." But effective
communication requires in most instances "good" communication, which means that party B has
understood a concept that party A wished to convey to B. Good communication is a prerequisite but
does not insure effective communication. In practice it is not easy to separate the communication
process itself from other processes involved in effective communication. But the communicator should
be alert to this distinction.
A Case of Misunderstanding

A misunderstanding had taken place, the roots of which we cannot understand without getting a better
sense of what Steve experienced before and during his dealings with Tom. To begin with, Steve had no
serious intention of moving to another company until after the memo from Tom arrived. On the
contrary, he had been very satisfied with his career in the company. He had enjoyed his work and had
received two promotions within three years.
While Tom saw the transfer as a recognition of Steve's performance, Steve saw it as a sign that his past
performance was not good enough. Steve had reasons on which to base this supposition. He had
accepted his promotions and Tom's praise as clear signs of approval but now wondered if Tom had been
less satisfied than he had seemed. The thought that this might have been the case angered him, since
neither Tom nor his area manager had given him any indication they were unhappy with his results.
Understanding the Misunderstanding
To diagnose and prevent miscommunications of the type just described, we need some means of
understanding what each person experiences during an exchange and why each person experiences it
differently. A relatively simple but effective way of doing this is to use a framework that describes
experiencing in terms of assumptions, perceptions, and feelings. Assumptions are defined as the values,
attitudes, and beliefs that a person has about how things "ought" to be in a given situation. The "ought"
of these assumptions should be stressed because typically the assumptions that are at the root of
misunderstandings have both an imperatives and normative dimension to them. They are seldom
neutral or value-free in nature.
By perceptions we mean what the person actually sees, hears, or otherwise senses as taking place in a
situation (as compared with what he or she thinks ought to be occurring). Dissonance results when a
person's perceptions are in conflict with his or her assumptions. Feelings are the emotive and affective
responses of a person in reaction to a given situation; they are the emotions that are triggered by what a
person sees taking place.
BUILDING EFFECTIVE ON-ON-ONE RELATIONSHIP
Reading the article it seems that resolving a conflict in one to one work relationship is not that difficult,
just need to apply some simple questions to inquire others view, however I believe it needs a whole
life learning time to master it. Knowing our own strength or weakness could help us to understand our
tendency in one to one work relationship; are we easy to go into conflict or more into conflict avoidance
behavior
As you advance in your careers, excellent technical competencies will not be enough. Your success will
be more and more on your human competencies your ability to do the important interpersonal work
of developing effective work relationship with key individuals. The quality of a managers work
relationship are especially critical at the upper functional and general management levels. Below are
key points from the reading:
1. Our reasoning with regard to interpersonal matters should be as analytical, strategic, and as datadriven as any other management discipline
2. Effective managers must know how to build relationship, based on mutual expectations, trust, and
influence, with the complex network of people of whom they are interdependent
3. Although it is easier to develop relationship with those who share the same background, values,
interest, or working style, as a manager you must be able to diagnose potential barriers to
establishing mutually beneficial relationship with different individuals, and find a basis upon which
to build more effective relationship
4. The degree of relationship can be measured based on :
1) Mutual expectations about performance, goals and priorities
2) Mutual trust that develops in a relationship
3) Mutually influence each other beyond what is accorded to them by virtue of their roles
5. Effective relationship is one that mutual expectations, trust and influence grow overtime and
become more concrete, tested and grounded

6. Conflicts will inevitably arise, even when you have good intentions. You have to use your basic
thinking skills to identify such conflicts and find out how to resolve it
7. Manager need to balance advocacy and inquiry skill to promote mutual learning and when trying to
resolve a conflict. This skill helps both parties test their mental models, that is, clarify their
assumptions, uncover internal contradictions in their assumptions, and develop a mutual and more
accurate and refined understanding of what really transpired and why.
8. Some simple questions can be used to advocate your own view and to inquire into others view.
MANAGING YOUR TEAM
To create the conditions for team success, not
Most seasoned managers understand that their
only do managers have to manage the team's
success is dependent on how effectively they
boundary, but also they have to manage the
can build a well-functioning team. In his
team itself-design the team and facilitate the
research on the key differences between
team's process.
effective and ineffective managers, Gabarro
Designing the Team
quoted a consumer-goods division manager
What type of teamwork is needed?
who had successfully turned around a number
Team composition and structure
of organizations. In contrast to the perspective
Facilitating the Team Process
of the seasoned manager, the article found that
Effective managers pay attention not only to
most new managers fail to recognize,much less
the team task but also to the team process-how
address, their team-building responsibilities.
the team gets its work done. The managerial
T h e y focus primarily on managing individual
role is not so much to dictate how the team
performance, and pay little or no attention to
members should go about their collaborative
team performance.
work; rather, it is to help them learn how to
What is an Effective Team?
minimize the process losses that invariably
Managers
should
apply
three
occur in groups and take advantage of the
interrelatedcriteria in assessing overall team
synergistic process gains.
effectiveness:
Shaping the team's culture
An important way in which a manager can
1. Does the team's output
(e.g.,
facilitate the
team's process
is by
decisions, products, services) meet
shaping
the team's culture-the basic
the standards of those- who have to use
assumptions and beliefs that are shared by
it?
the team
members, that operate
2. Does the team experience contribute
unconsciously,
and
are taken-for-granted.
to the personal well-being and
development of the members?
Coaching the team
Does
3.
the team experience enhance the
Too often, managers assume that the
capability of the members to work and
team members know how to work
learn together in thefuture?
together
effectively. In fact, team
Managing the Team's Boundary
members may not know how to work
it out among themselves. Team members
If their teams are to be effective, managers have
may have the
technical
expertise
to continually scan their competitive
necessary
to
complete
a
task
but not
environment and monitor the activities of key
interpersonal expertise.
external constituencies on whom they are
Managing
Paradox
dependent. These constituencies and prepare the
By now it should be apparent that teamwork is
team for new opportunities and threats. The more
hard work because it is a process of managing
turbulent the external environment, the more
paradox. To this end, it is instructive to step
attention should be paid to competitive
back and consider the five conflicting forces or
monitoring
and
communication
with
tensions at the heart of team life. These
constituencies outside the organization.
Managing the Team Itself

paradoxes must be understood, accepted, and

as much as possible, balanced."
Embrace individual differences and collective
identity and goals. The first paradox is the
need to embrace individual differences and
pursue a collective identity and goals. As
MANAGING MULTICULTURAL TEAMS
Multicultural teams often generate frustrating
management dilemmas. Cultural differences
can create substantial obstacles to effective
teamworkbut these may be subtle and
difficult to recognize until significant damage
has already been done. The challenge in
managing multicultural teams effectively is to
recognize underlying cultural causes of conflict,
and to intervene in ways that both get the team
back on track and empower its members to deal
with future challenges themselves. The good
news is that cultural challenges are manageable
if managers and team members choose the right
strategy and avoid imposing single-culturebased approaches on multicultural situations.
The Challenges
People tend to assume that challenges on
multicultural teams arise from differing styles
of communication. But this is only one of the
four categories that can create barriers to a
teams ultimate success. These categories are
direct versus indirect communication; trouble
with accents and fluency; differing attitudes
toward hierarchy and authority; and conflicting
norms for decision making.
Direct versus indirect communication.
In cross-cultural negotiations, the nonWesterner
can understand
the direct
communications of the Westerner, but the
Westerner has difficulty understanding the
indirect communications of the non-Westerner.
The differences between direct and indirect

discussed earlier, team effectiveness usually

demands a mix of diverse individuals. For the
team to benefit from the diversity, the team has
to have a process that allows for the different
voices-perspectives, priorities, styles-to be
expressed and heard.
communication can cause serious damage to
relationships when team projects run into
problems. Communication challenges create
barriers to effective teamwork by reducing
information sharing, creating interpersonal
conflict, or both. In Japan, a typical response to
direct confrontation is to isolate the norm
violator.
Trouble with accents and fluency.
Although the language of international business
is English, misunderstandings or deep
frustration may occur because of nonnative
speakers accents, lack of fluency, or problems
with translation or usage. These may also
influence perceptions of status or competence.
No fluent team members may well be the most
expert on the team, but their difficulty
communicating knowledge makes it hard for
the team to recognize and utilize their expertise.
If teammates become frustrated or impatient
with a lack of fluency, interpersonal conflicts
can arise. Nonnative speakers may become less
motivated to contribute, or anxious about their
performance evaluations and future career
prospects.
Differing attitudes toward hierarchy and
authority.
A challenge inherent in multicultural teamwork
is that by design, teams have a rather flat
structure. But team members from some
cultures, in which people are treated differently
according to their status in an organization, are
uncomfortable on flat teams.

Conflicting norms for decision making.

Cultures differ enormously when it comes to
decision makingparticularly, how quickly
decisions should be made and how much
analysis is required beforehand. Not
surprisingly, U.S. managers like to make
decisions very quickly and with relatively little
analysis by comparison with managers from
other countries.
Four Strategies
The most successful teams and managers used
four strategies for dealing with these
challenges:

1. adaptation (acknowledging cultural gaps

openly and working around them)
2. structural intervention (changing the shape
of the team)
3. managerial intervention (setting norms early
or bringing in a higher-level manager),
4. exit (removing a team member when other
options have failed).
There is no one right way to deal with a
particular kind of multicultural problem;
identifying the type of challenge is only the first
step. The more crucial step is assessing the
circumstancesor
enabling
situational
conditionsunder which the team is working.

HARNESSING THE SCIENCE OF PERSUASION

Few people are born with persuasion talent, people that mastering that talent can easily capture the
audience and convert the opposition. Watching the people that mastering the art of persuasion is at once
impressive and frustrating. Impressive because they can easily use their charisma to influence people
and frustrating because they know well how to do it but they are often unable to pass their skill to other.
Although persuasion is a gifted talent but some research believe that persuasion works by appealing to
a limited set of deeply rooted human drives and needs, and it does so in predictable ways. Persuasion,
in other words, is governed by basic principles that can be taught, learned, and applied. There are six
fundamental principle of persuasion that can be applied by the executive at the company.
The principle of liking
People like those who like them, similarity literally draws people together. People can create bond with
other through similarity, its important to establish bond early because it can create presumption of
goodwill and trustworthiness in every subsequent encounter. Praise is the other reliable generator of
affection. Experimental data show that positive remark about other person traits, attitude, or
performance will generate liking in return.
The principle of reciprocity
People repay in kind, if you lend person who is shorthanded you will increase your chance of getting
help when you need it. Gift giving is one of the cruder applications of the rule of reciprocity. In its
more sophisticated uses, it confers a genuine first-mover advantage.
The principle of social proof
People will follow the lead of similar others, in a donation charity campaign the longer the donor list
was the more likely other would be to donate as well.
The principle of consistency
People align with their clear commitments, most people once they take a stand or go on record in favor
of a position, prefer to stick to it. Commitment can have a powerful effect on future actions. Liking is a
powerful force but the work of persuasion involves more than simply malting people feel warmly

toward you, your idea, or your product. People need not only to like you but to feel committed to what
you want them to do.
The principle of authority
People defer to experts, executive should establish their own expertise before they attempt to exert
influence.
The principle of scarcity
People want more of what they can have less of, study said that item and opportunity are more valuable
if they become less available. The power of exclusivity is very effective to raise item or information
value, even dull information with the touch of exclusivity can be very special.
Putting it all together
The rules of ethic apply to the science of social influence just as they do to any other technology. The
commitments never felt voluntary, so the department heads never followed through, and as a result the
vice president initiatives all blew up or petered out.
THE USES AND ABUSES OF INFLUENCE
The ability to persuade others to contribute to your efforts is a key skill for managers, for team
members and for anyone who wants to elevate the probability of success. Research presented in the
Harvard Business Review by leading social scientist and the author of Influence, Robert Cialdini, has
found that persuasion works by appealing to certain deeply rooted human responses. Six of the
responses include:
1. Liking. If people like you because they sense that you like them, or because of things you have
in common theyre more apt to say yes to you.
2. Reciprocity. People tend to return favors. If you help people, theyll help you. If you behave
(cooperatively), theyll respond in kind.
3. Social Proof. People will do things they see other people doing especially if those people seem
similar to them.
4. Commitment and consistency. People want to be consistent, or at least to appear to be. If they
make a public, voluntary commitment, theyll try to follow through.
5. Authority. People defer to experts and to those in positions of authority (and typically
underestimate their tendency to do so).
6. Scarcity. People value things more if they perceive them to be scarce.
INFLUENCE WITHOUT AUTHORITY
Whether someone is above you or below you in
the corporate hierarchy, you often need to
motivate them to get work done. Even if you're
the top person, just ordering someone to do

something won't necessarily work, as any CEO

with a vision for major change can attest.
At the heart of exerting influence are these six
key concepts:
1. Influence is about trades, exchanging
something of value for what you want.

2. Relationships matter; the more good ones

you have, the greater the odds of finding
someone you can trade with.
3. Influence requires that you know what
you're doing, have reasonable plans, and are
competent enough for the task at hand.
4. To be effective, you have to use influence
for the ultimate good of the organization,
not just for yourself.
5. The biggest difficulty with having influence
often resides with you.
6. We are all potentially more influential than
we think we are.

Third, we'll examine how you can apply the

influence model to familiar situations.
Finally, there are five major traps to avoid when
making trades. They are:
Failure to do your homework on what the
other person cares about.
Failure to let go of your previous analysis in
the face of new evidence in real time.
Bluffing from a low power position.
Being so afraid of negative reactions that
you don't use all possible exchange tools.
Going all-out to win at the expense of the
relationship.
There are three central principles to follow in
influencing your boss, no matter what
currencies are at your disposal or what your
boss's personal style:
First, show your boss that it is in his interest
to change his behavior.
Second, show your boss that it is in his
interest for you to be successful and
satisfied, because this will get the best work
out of you.
Third, deliver your preference in a style that
is compatible with your boss's style.
Whatever the group, and whatever its culture
and language, here are six key points to
consider when trying to influence them:
First, treat them as if they were customers.
Second, take the group's point of view, not
your own.
Third, avoid stereotyping.
Fourth, don't be afraid to air conflicts and
own up to the part your group may have
played in them.
Fifth, before beginning, determine the
minimum cooperation you will need to
achieve your goals, and the potential
benefits from full collaboration.
Sixth, don't let failure discourage you

You can learn how to be more effective by

developing true influence over the people with
whom you work. In this summary, we will
explore the following topics:
First, we will outline the core influence
model, including identifying your allies,
clarifying your goals, and finding the
tradeoffs that can help you reach those
goals.
Second, we will take you through each of
the stages of the influence model, from
learning what you have that's worth trading,
to what potential allies value for trading
purposes, to building effective relationships,
and making mutually profitable trades.
POWER DYNAMICS IN ORGANIZATIONS
What is Power?
Power define as the potential of an individual (or group) to influence another individual or group. Is
ineffective for the individual? Is it effective for the organization? Is it ethical? These are three questions
as interrelated criteria that we should apply in evaluating an individual's exercise of power and

influence. In answering those questions, both the short- and long-term consequences of an individual's
actions should be assessed.
Organizations as Political Entities
Political conflict over scarce or key organizational resources is inevitable, given the challenges of
managing in contemporary organizations. In Realities of Managerial Life there are The Challenge and
"The Solution. Interdependency, diversity, and power gap are included into The Challenge and The
Solution consists of Law of Reciprocity and Networks. Organizations consist of interdependent
individuals(and groups) with divergent interests who must figure out how to reconcile these interests.
The more interdependence, diversity, and resource scarcity in an organization, the more political
conflict. There are prevention factors that help to reduce the amount of conflict such as the consistency
of organization successfully negotiating win-win resolutions. There are precipitating factors that
exacerbate the conflict in an organization though. When super ordinate goals and values do not exist it
can be political conflict in organizations. Shared goals and values can be lacking for a variety of
reasons, for instance, when no shared culture exists or strong leaders fail to define a vision behind
which people are aligned and motivated. To eliminate political conflict, managers would have to
eliminate diversity, including the division of labor and specialization. Diversity and conflict are
essential ingredients for creativity and innovation. Power and influence are the mechanisms by which
the inevitable political conflicts in organizations get resolved. The distribution of power and influence
in organizations is generally aligned with the realities they face and can become institutionalized and
thereby endure well beyond its usefulness.
Where Does Power Come From?
A person's power is determined by two sets of factors: positional and personal characteristics. The
sources of positional power are formal authority, relevance, centrality, autonomy and visibility. And
expertise, track record, attractiveness and effort are the sources of personal power.
Assessing Power Dynamics
In assessing the power dynamics in a given situation, you need to:
1. Identify the interdependencies among the relevant parties. Who is dependent on whom and for
what? Whose cooperation is needed? Whose compliance?
2. Determine the sources of power of the relevant parties.
3. After the interdependent parties have been identified, analyze the relevant differences among them.
What are the underlying factors that have created or are reinforcing those differences? How might
these differences lead to other assumptions or perceptions about the current situation? Around what
issues can you expect conflict?
4. Analyze the broader context. How much potential for political conflict exists? Where are the major
alliances? The major rivalries? Are there any precipitating factors? Are there any prevention
factors? How are key players likely to respond to conflict? Will their response most likely lead to
constructive or destructive consequences?
5. Periodically update your diagnosis. Power dynamics are just that dynamic.