1

Laughter
is the best
medicine

From The Star March 2016

A Selection of Jokes from

Wisdom From Laughter 2
41

The Importance of Exercise

The doctor advised Ah Kow on the importance of exercise for good

health. Ah Kow exclaimed, But Doctor, I play football and basketball
everyday!
Oh, thats good, the doctor said. For how long do u play these
games?
Ah Kow immediately replied, Until the battery in my mobile phone
dies off!
In a world of high technology, too many people especially the
younger generation have become addicted to video games on their hitech gadgets. This results in a lack of physical exercise leading to
health problems.

94

A Little Girls Prayer

One night a mother upon passing the door of her little girls bedroom
heard her daughter praying. She was saying quite loudly the following
words:
Oh God, please send some clothes for the many poor women I saw on
the screen of my Daddys computer.
Parents should be role models for their children. Alas, many parents
indulge in activities like gambling, smoking, drinking and watching
porn. What sort of messages are they sending to the little ones?

121

Stress, Tension and Panic

Ganasamy and Ah See were drinking in the bar trying to wash away
their cares of life. Ah See asked Ganasamy, Do u know the difference
between stress, tension and panic?
Stress is when ur wife gets pregnant; tension is when ur girlfriend is
pregnant and panic is when both ur wife and girlfriend r pregnant,
Ganasamy replied.
The person who lacks wisdom and does not live righteously is more
likely to face with more situations of stress, tension and panic. The
mind needs to be developed in terms of understanding, compassion
and wisdom in order to live a more peaceful life.

181

Tit-For-Tat

Roland was an amateur photographer. One day he was invited together

with some friends for dinner at a ladys home. He brought along some
photos he had taken to show the hostess. The lady had a good look at
the photos and remarked, Rolands photos are very good indeed. He
must have a very good camera. Roland did not make any comments
but when the time came to leave, he said to the hostess, The meal
served was very delicious. U must have some very good pots!
Some people are very reluctant to give compliments to another for
their great talent and work. Out of jealousy they might even pass
some sarcastic remarks. Such people may get a taste of their own
medicine!

211 The Burglar

A husband went into a police station asking for permission to talk to
the burglar in the lock-up. The burglar had broken into his house the
night before but was later caught.
Youll get to see the burglar in court, the sergeant on duty said. Why
do u want to talk to him now?
I want to know from the burglar, the husband explained, how he
managed to get into the house without waking up my wife. Ive been
trying to do that for years!
Husbands who return home very late at night hope their wives would
not wake up. Such bad habits, if continued on, would lead to marital
arguments and break-ups.

259

A married couple were arguing heatedly and both of them

refused to admit that they might be wrong. After sometime, the wife
finally said, Ill admit that I was wrong provided ull admit that Im
right. The husband agreed, and told the wife, Ladies first.
Im wrong, the wife said.
With a twinkle in his eyes, the husband said with delight, Youre
right!
Oftentimes in an argument or quarrel between a husband and wife,
each party would refuse to admit theyre wrong because of the
element of EGO. With understanding, wisdom and an attitude of
letting go, there will be more peace and happiness in the marriage.

282

A Bestseller

Teacher
Peter
Martha
Matthew
Denis

:
:
:
:
:

What should be in a book to make it a bestseller?

A good plot with powerful characters.
Love and romance.
Mystery and suspense.
A sexy girl on the cover and no cover on the sexy girl!

In the commercial world there is so much exploitation of women and

sex. Opportunists in business exploit sex in order to make money.

259

A married couple were arguing heatedly and both of them

refused to admit that they might be wrong. After sometime, the wife
finally said, Ill admit that I was wrong provided ull admit that Im
right. The husband agreed, and told the wife, Ladies first.
Im wrong, the wife said.
With a twinkle in his eyes, the husband said with delight, Youre
right!
Oftentimes in an argument or quarrel between a husband and wife,
each party would refuse to admit theyre wrong because of the
element of EGO. With understanding, wisdom and an attitude of
letting go, there will be more peace and happiness in the marriage.

364

A Kids Curiosity

One day three-year old Gary asked his mother, Mummy, what food do
u feed our new born baby? Oh, baby drinks breast milk and orange
juice, the mother told Gary.
The following morning, Gary was very fascinated watching his mother
breastfeeding his baby sister. Gary asked the mother, Mummy,
Mummy, which side is the orange juice?
Little children are by nature very curious. Parents must give them
due attention and educate them in proper wise ways. Failure to do so
will impair the development of the child.

409

Twin Sisters

Chubby married one of a pair of identical twins. One day he and his
friend Roy were having a chat at the bar. Chubby told his friend that
sometimes his wife would be away for a few days and he would be
alone at home. His friend asked him, Chubby, suppose one day ur
wife came back suddenly and started to kiss u passionately, how would
u recognize it was ur wife and not her twin sister? Chubby smiled and
said, Why should I?
How many husbands would remain 100 % faithful to their wives
under all circumstances? There would be some who fall into
temptations or exploit a situation to their advantage.

451

All-You-Can-Eat

At a all-you-can-eat restaurant, Ah Tham came back to his table his

plates filled with food for the 5th time. His mother exclaimed, Ah
Tham, doesnt it embarrass u that so many people see u go up to the
buffet table 5 times? Not a bit, Ah Tham replied. I just tell them that
I am filling all the plates for my mother.
Gluttons show no shame helping themselves to heaps of food. Such
unbecoming behavior is truly despised by others. The gluttons will
meet unpleasant consequences.

512

Important Event

The history teacher asked the class, Can u give one important event
that took place in 1869?
Puva stood up and answered, Teacher, Mahatma Gandhi was born.
What about the year 1873? the teacher asked again,
Mahatma Gandhi was four years old, Puva answered confidently.
When questions are asked, the answers given by students can be most
unexpected and at times truly amusing. Much patience is required of
the teacher.