Mia Tacoloy

150598
Theo 101
To Save a Life Midterm Project
1.
Jake and Roger in the film are best buddies, at least in the beginning of the
film. Their friendship may be considered an unlikely one if only in matters of race.
Maybe most people get to experience being either a Jake or Roger, that aside from
having a childhood friend, each would probably grow apart yet still be mindful of
the other. Many times in life one can also be a Jake or a Roger to someone,
depending on a certain point of view.
I think friendship (especially an unlikely one like Jakes and Rogers) starts
when two people naturally tend to entrust one another with opinions on anything
under the sun while appreciating each others individual antics no matter how
contrasting or un-matchy. Probably because the things we find endearing and
even entertaining in others help us to find ourselves or just generally have a
positive impact on the way we go about life. We might all have that one friend who
at first seems to be a very unlikely one simply because you have opposing
personalities. For me it was that and much more Mary became my classmate
back in Grade 7. Being a hardcore English speaker (unfortunately my parents
never believed in the national language) and she being naturally more accustomed
to speaking Filipino at home, I didnt think wed be good friends when we first met
for some reason. I was more of the serious type, she the more comical one;
whereas I strived to get that coveted Academic Award for each grading period
Mary would be content simply trying to understand the current lessons in Math
and Science. And yet we were born and raised in the same province, Rizal, and
equally understood the struggle of waking up at 4:30 am every school day. We had
almost the same sense of humor and cracked jokes at the almost the same
opportune or inopportune moment (although Marys were always funnier and
didnt involve much thinking). I came to realize soon that we somehow
complimented each other. Even when we had literally been separated the next year
since I was placed in the 1 st section while Mary went as far back as Room 11, we
found time to catch up with each other in the middle of the hallway and have lunch
together. Sure, we were drifting away since we had our own barkada but as much

as possible wed walk together after classes to our school buses. One time I even
thought of asking Mary jokingly how we managed to stay friends until graduation,
even though we were very different. She replied, Maybe because were both
survivors but we have to carry each other through life. Pero ikaw pa rin ang mas
kailangan ng pagbubuhat lalo na kapag hindi mo maabot ang aklat sa library.
Despite our gravity towards each others company, I now feel that there are
times when I may have left Mary behind or unintendedly chose not to be with her.
In a way I could say the same about her. But being busier due to academics and
school related stuff I think I may be more at fault. There was a time when Mary
spoke to me about her troubles at home, when two of her brothers intentionally left
the house because of arguing with her parents (she has three brothers). Even then,
she told me that she doesnt get to see her other brother anymore, the one that
stayed. Im not very good at comforting people so I tried to reassure her that God
has a plan and to lift it up. Now I think that maybe I shouldve spent more time
with her because after that conversation she always seemed to be in a bad mood,
with something disturbing her mind constantly. She was the same Mary who
usually initiated the lighter side of things but there would be times when I knew
that something had changed, and that it may have been because of what she was
experiencing at home. There were times when she told me she had cried before
going to sleep and I didnt really know how to comfort her or even respond to it. So
now I feel that in those times when she was undergoing a trial maybe I shouldve
made more effort to spend time with her. I felt sort of helpless when she told me
about the conflict between her brothers and parents because I couldnt really
relate being an only child, but maybe I couldve asked the Lord for guidance on
helping my friend to cope, aside from praying for her to cope. Aside from this I also
think I couldve helped her more when she found something hard to understand in
math or any other subject. I didnt always find the time to meet up with her and
share my learnings. Maybe because I was too wrapped up in pursuing my own
goals. This, despite the many times when I felt unsure of myself and she was there
to motivate me and help me believe in myself. Nowadays I actually always say to
myself, its not always about finding time but making time.
I think there are enough experiences in my life when I felt abandoned
literally. When I am accidentally left in the car by my parents or locked in some
part of the house (once it was the kitchen and my parents were gone for half the

day), or when my companions unintentionally leave me behind in some part of the

school. Being abandoned emotionally though is not something I experience a lot,
maybe because when I place my trust in a certain person I would always
understand his/her reasons as for not being there when I needed him/her in the
end. Or maybe Im just too kind. I try not to stay mad for long because I dont like
the anger to change my perspective on things or even affect my mood at the end of
the day. So I think I dont really retain the feeling of being abandoned for a long
time, as long as what the person does is justifiable or was not intentional. That
doesnt mean though that I dont keep my distance from a person when I think
he/she has done something wrong towards me. I just try to exhale that bad feeling
before I go to sleep. All the same, I try and take care not to be too trusting and I
try to be of help when I feel someone has been abandoned, literally or otherwise.
Also, when Im in a bit where I do feel abandoned and weary, I try and open up to
the Lord about it.
Nowadays, I can think of one person who needs someone to keep company
with and that is my grandmother. Ever since she had been feeling pain in both her
legs, which led to daily therapy in the hospital, which eventually led to her not
being able to walk and using a metal support instead of merely a walking cane, I
feel that she had needs someone to take care of her in her home since she lives
alone and Lolo passed away a couple years ago. I feel sad whenever I hear her say
things about being convinced that the Lord should take her and that she wouldnt
be a burden to our family especially in finances. For a time I also grew angry at my
other aunts and uncles who hadnt even lent support, never mind financially. Out of
my Lolas five children, it is only my mom and an aunt who caters to her regularly
out of concern. My other relatives dont even call to check up on her or offer to
stay with her for a time at home. My Lola also complains bitterly about this. I think
it is one of the ways in which she convinces herself that she has to leave earth.
Since I dont get to see her often anymore, although we live just a short distance
away from my Lola, my Lola has devised another means of communication:
through text. Sometimes I dont get to respond to her messages asking about my
experiences in school in real time because she may text during classes. Whenever I
do respond it is mostly tight and succinct messages in comparison to her long,
drawn-out ones punctuated with love yous, and have a nice days. While I mostly
inquire about the degree of pain in her legs and gently caution her on her use of

painkillers, I slowly start realize as the days pass that my Lolas time here may
really be counted already. I quietly resolve to do my best not just in responding to
her text messages but in having the initiative to visit her at home and just spend
time in her company. I can do this if it brings her happiness despite her conviction
that the Lord must already take her from us, being a burden, and as she would
already like to see my Lolo and her parents in heaven.
2.
When the police raid one of the parties that Jake has been attending, it also
happens that he gets into an argument with Amy before leaving. When he does
manage to escape on time, he realizes that Amy has stolen his vehicle and is very
disappointed. Although I found this part of the movie funny, I think this shows that
one does not find a party to have all good things. Its a way of delaying reality and
once its over there is that feeling of emptiness or a void. When Jake finds his car
gone the expression on his face is one of pure disappointment and its like he has
snapped back into reality, whereas just a few moments ago he was hesitant to
leave the house. This was why he and Amy argued, which proves again that parties
are not good alternatives to reality.
I think these types of parties did not satisfy Jake because they were without
true meaning and value. These gatherings are attractive for socialization and the
prospect of having fun, but in the long term it doesnt contribute much else. The
people you consider to be your friends and close peers are having fun with you but
maybe the activities and the atmosphere overall just make the gathering into
something superficial when compared to other meaningful events. Jake probably
resolved to keep away from them because he saw how it wasnt exactly right and it
wasnt very fulfilling. When he saw how Jonny got pranked by the others, he looked
like he was silently disturbed and didnt wholly agree with the idea, even when
everyone else found it amusing. At another instance he is persuaded into playing
beer pong during a fun gathering and when he sees the consequences that the
game brings and the unhealthy atmosphere along with it, he has a more intense
reaction and quits. Jake starts to be active in a different kind of gathering, in
prayer meetings presided by Cris. Here he seems to be truly engaged and even
takes the initiative for the group of schoolmates to meet at the quadrangle for
lunch daily. He successfully recruits Jonny as well, and finds new friends to spend

time with. Jake probably finds more meaning in gatherings like these, in finding
similarities with others through relatable experiences and even past trials. It is
within this group that he can truly be himself, all the while learning to grow from
the past with the help of others and Cris guidance. Maybe Jake realized that
happiness is truly found in God and in his gifts, in this case his support system.
Slowly, he starts to entrust all things to him especially as those around him are
going through difficult times.
Pope Benedict XVIs words reflect our past lesson in Theology that only in
God can man truly find happiness. If we direct our lives towards His Will and not
merely our own, we can have a feeling of fulfillment. Finding Him even in less than
happy times is important because it is through God that we discover strength and
wisdom. I think that the things that give meaning to ones life are the ones where
we can feel the presence of God. The things that ultimately contribute to His
greater glory. We may not need to look far for these, and sometimes the pleasure
we experience in some actions does not necessarily equate to happiness. For a
while we might be deceived into thinking that it is, but God manifests Himself in a
true, universal and sustaining kind of feeling.
Personally, I think what gives true meaning and value to my life is the
knowledge that God is there. This does not mean that I would depend on God
without doing my best in things, but in the knowledge that God has a plan and will
never stop guiding me toward the right paths. The recollections we have in school
were meant to be a resting day from the load of academics and also an opportunity
to strengthen our relationship with God. I think these have helped me very much in
clarifying my view of Him, even though they only happen annually. In these
retreats we observe a lot of silence and solemnity which helps to keep the
atmosphere open between student and God. The many activities that our speakers
have guided us through helped me to shape and maintain my image of God as a
personal permanent resident in my life. One who always beckons us to come back
to Him no matter how grave a sin we commit. One whose love for us we sometimes
forget but may never fully comprehend to an extent. I remember how a speaker
helped our class to have an idea of Gods love by comparing it with the love of a
father. Fathers usually look stern but the truth is that their love and concern is
boundless; it is just that it does not come off as obvious and glaring because men

arent emotional beings. In almost the same way, we may not notice Gods love
especially in our normal day to day activities but it is always present.
I dont usually go to parties; when invited I politely refuse a lot. I prefer an
almost solemn restaurant type of setting to a grand venue with swirling balloons
and dimmed lights. This is today. Back then in grade school, being an only child, I
used to like going out with friends to a nearby mall on some days after school. We
would go with one or two yayas for protection. My parents probably agreed
because I managed to convince them using the only child argument. There came a
time when some people in our group wanted to try going to the gaming arcade and
spending a whole lot of our time there. Being the mostly quiet one they had to
convince me and I went. I soon grew to love the place, probably because of my
nearly consistent luck at winning things. After a time I sensed a very big difference
from what I felt in the arcade than from what I felt at home with my parents, or
even in the car with them. I think I started to miss going home peacefully after a
long day, instead of wresting out the stress that I felt by becoming victorious at
gaming. It started to disturb me that we were going almost 3x a week to this place
and I had to adjust my home works and extracurricular activities a lot for it, as if I
were literally studying to play. I had enormous fun with friends I considered myself
close to, but something then told me that there is a better alternative to playing
games in the ground floor of a mall. So I started to back off from these playdates
every once in a while, gradually, and soon found that it was actually less tiring
when I just go home straight from school. Eventually I managed to convince I think
two of my friends to stop going as well. I hope now that I was a good example to
them. Maybe during these times I came to realize that spending time with family
was more meaningful and happy than spending time with friends in the
atmosphere of a mall. I think now it was Gods way of reaching out to me, that I
spend my time well and know my priorities as a student and daughter.

3.
I read an article once written by Br. Bo Sanchez in his Kerygma magazine
that talks about how the youth see Mass. The youth in the article basically
expressed that going to mas is a bore, an act of judgment and that there is nothing
really learned by the end because after the lessons gathered from the homily
evaporate when the priest says Go forth and spread the Good News that is

Christ. I cant recall how Br. Bo responded to this in his article though. Once too
often I am also guilty of not paying too much attention to the homily as my mind
tends to float across the crowd and out our Parish. These days I try my best to
focus on what is said during the homily, and sometimes make myself promise to do
so before entering.
I think there are some masses that stood out for me before. These helped
me to get through a tough time. Once, in Grade 4 it was the day when everyone in
class had to deliver a monologue in front of the class and naturally I was scared.
My mother had a habit of going to mass in our school chapel since there is a daily
mass at 6:30 am. Ive joined my mother a few times then but most of the time I
preferred to stay in the classroom and talk with friends while waiting for classes to
start. On that day though my mom convinced me to join her in going to mass
because she felt that it would help me to relax. More importantly, to ask help from
the Lord on my impending doom a few hours later. I prayed very hard throughout
the whole mass, not just for myself but also for my mother and father and everyone
I could think of. I remember feeling pretty hopeless because I really did not want
to have to face all my classmates and teacher and recite something dramatically.
After the communion, something I was not expecting happened. I was sitting on
the pew and my mother was knelt in front, praying. I suddenly felt a rush of hope
inside me seeing my mom like that because of the thought that I was a very lucky
person. I was extremely lucky to have a mom like my mom, who always did
everything within her reach to make me comfortable with my surroundings and
she is always going to be like that. As I was watching my moms back, praying still,
I started to remember all that she did for me and wondered if all mothers were like
her, and just how truly lucky I was that I had her. I went into sentimental mode
then but managed to keep most tears from falling. This renewed sense of hope
inspired me to bravely go through the day, and let things happen as they should.
For some reason, this one particular mass in our school chapel stands out for me
because of that strange but overwhelming and eye-opening experience. I also
remember thanking God for it at the end of the day, and treating that day as a
wonderful one if only because of what I felt during the morning. This is one of
some masses that I think stands out for me in the past. In a way, it made me more
motivated to go to Mass, by knowing that anything is possible with God, more so in
his presence.

Drawing from this time, I think what can make Mass a truly meaningful
activity is letting one be completely open to what one experiences inside a Church.
If one becomes open to anything, then anything positive can come out of Mass or
staying in Church. My dad became a lay minister five years ago in our parish and I
think this helped me to be more active in activities that are held in our parish.
Since my dad gets to participate in special celebrations, gatherings and the like, I
felt encouraged to try it out for myself too. Id actually like to be a
lector/commentator someday. For now we do our best to attend and participate in
pilgrimages, talks and other activities sponsored by the Church.
Aside from Sunday mass, my parents make it a point to catch up on daily
masses at least on their own. They try to attend a mass at lunchtime during work.
My mother once said that when she goes to mass, she feels that she is already
guided for the rest of the day. I was inspired by this and found that it wasnt a bad
idea to go to mass every morning; I also welcomed the feeling of being guided for
the rest of the day. When its in the morning the solemnity of the mass fills my
heart and puts me in a comfortable state that I can remember for the day, and it
feels like it has already been lifted up.
I think that to be further enlightened with what is going on during the mass
one should think of a genuine reason for going to mass in the first place. May it be
as simple as for guidance or a more desperate call for a tight situation, one should
also pay attention to the silence that occurs in parts of the mass. Silence can be
the place where God speaks and can be heard the most. By having a heartfelt
reason, and not just because you think you need something, a mass pales as a
routine, regular almost compulsory occurrence. Nowadays I feel I truly need to go
to mass to be able to pray for those I know who are silently suffering or are finding
ways to deal with their problems. What I do is I just casually talk to God about
what I think my friend is going through and try to seek for enlightenment for
him/her. In doing this I feel more comfortable and aware that I am attending mass,
since I do not only pray for myself and my family but keep in mind others as well.

4.
According to various news articles, the Philippines is indeed one of the few
countries where abortion is deemed illegal by law. Other countries that go by this

are mostly in the continent of Africa, in the Latin Americas, Middle East, and our
neighbors in Southeast Asia. I think one can notice that these nations are either
prevalently Catholic or have a very conservative culture. In our country we are
80% Catholic, maybe one of the reasons why abortion is a no-no. Developed
nations have legalized it mostly on the basis that not all pregnancies are wanted or
that the mothers life may be put in danger. I think in our country the debate on
abortion may be a silent one, compared to other social issues like divorce and the
RH law. Probably because of the stigma that comes along with the concept. I read
somewhere that by deeming abortion as illegal in our country, more people are
prone to do it. As a result, many are subjected to unsafe abortion, performed by
unqualified persons or those who use traditional means, and most of the time it is
both mother and baby whose lives are ended.
I think we should be a proud nation by not legalizing abortion. Pope Francis
himself said that the mercy of God is bigger than the sin of abortion. As CBCP
president Archbishop Socrates Villegas clarified, it does not mean to say that
abortion is okay. It is still a grave sin that merits excommunication. I am glad that
our nation still upholds this right because in my opinion, the right to life of the
unborn should be protected above all else. The child doesnt have the ability to
speak yet to defend itself, so what right have we to end it as responsible adults?
There is a separation of Church and state, and the state should decide for the
benefit of all, but what it decides upon should have a moral basis. Before all else, I
think our government should do its part to promote family planning to the public
so that our society can improve; one that produces happy and productive families
who are morally guided by faith.
Personally I dont have any first-hand experience of the circumstances
surrounding abortion but I have neighbors and close family friends who I can
relate to the topic. From time to time there will be news of a niece or other relative
of our katulong or driver getting pregnant at a very young age, some are
teenagers. When my mom presses on to hear more about the story from our
katulong and driver, they would say that their relatives have chosen to discontinue
their studies and instead care for the child. Because the thought of abortion
entered my mind I felt relieved at hearing this. Our family also owns a school
service business, and naturally we get to learn about the different backgrounds of
our clients, the passengers and their families. We know of single parents who are

either unmarried or separated. My moms officemate was also our client and she
conceived her child during her college years. She chose not to give up the baby
although now she and her husband are living separately. The daughter, 5 years
younger than I, is a close friend. We also know of two parents who are both
physicians, and shared with my mom that their daughter was adopted; she was
conceived by a patient who instead gave her to them for the childs benefit.
Thinking of these memories now I am more convinced that the right to life should
really be prioritized by our lawmakers. Similarly, the RH law is a hotly contested
issue, especially some time ago. Our parish priest once talked about it in his
homily, to the point of getting visibly frustrated and angry. I think the audience
didnt mind much, and also understood why. Fr. argued against the stand of the
pro-RH law people by saying that it isnt the solution to overpopulation and
therefore poverty. He told us that poverty isnt caused by overpopulation by the
corruption ever present in our current government. I think in the same way, the
government should look at ways on how to first prevent abortion from happening
in the first place.