You are on page 1of 4

The Value of Conflict

The word conflict stirs up thoughts of anger, friction, mistrust, frustration, and hostility. Rarely does anyone
think of conflict as a tool for deeper thinking, better results, and communication that is more dynamic.
When unmanaged, team conflict can destroy cohesiveness, but teams that use conflict resolution
strategies can turn their conflict into an asset. Managed conflict can promote an exchange of ideas to
generate well-thought-out results, encourage team members to think outside of their own ideas, and
develop deeper understanding.

MANAGING CONFLICT IN CLASSROOM AND SCHOOL

Robbins (1974) concentrates on strategies specifically labeled as resolution


techniques. He lists eight techniques as follows: (1) Problem solving (2) Super
ordinate goals (3) Avoidance (4) Smoothing (5) Compromise (6) Authoritative
command (7) Altering the human variable (8) Altering structural variables3
CONFLICT MANAGEMENT SKILLS
1. Create and maintain a bond, even with your adversary- The key to defusing
confl ict is to form a bond, or to re-bond, with the other party. We do not have
to like someone to form a bond with him or her. We only need a common
goal. Treat the person as a friend, not an enemy, and base the relationship on
mutual respect, positive regard and co-operation
2. 2. Establish a dialogue and negotiate- At all times its important to keep the
conversation relevant, stay focused on a positive outcome and remain aware
of the common goal. It is imperative to avoid being hostile or aggressive. The
next stage is negotiation, in which we add bargaining to the dialogue. Talking,
dialogue and negotiation create genuine, engaging and productive twoway
transactions. We need to use energy from the body, emotions, intellect and
the spirit.
3. 3. Put the fi sh on the table- This expression means, simply, raising a diffi
cult issue without being aggressive or hostile. The analogy comes from Sicily
where the fi shermen, who are strongly bonded, put their bloody catch on a
large table to clean it together. They work through the messy job and are
rewarded by a great fi sh dinner at the end of the day. If you leave a fi sh
under the table it starts to rot and smell. On the other hand, once an issue is
raised, we can work through the mess of sorting it out and fi nd a mutually
benefi cial outcome. The important thing to remember is that we should not
slap the other party in the face with the fi sh! We should be direct, engaging
and respectful, always helping the other person to save face.
4. 4. Understand what causes confl ictTo be able to create a dialogue aimed at resolving the confl ict, we need to
understand the root of the disagreement. Among the common causes of
disagreement are differences over goals, interests or values. There could be
different perceptions of the problem, such as Its a quality control problem
or Its a production problem, and there may also be different communication

styles. Power, status, rivalry, insecurity, resistance to change and confusion


about roles can also create confl ict
5 5. Use the law of reciprocity- The law of reciprocity is the foundation of
cooperation and collaboration. What you give out is likely to be what you get
back. Humans have a deeply hardwired pattern of reciprocity. Researchers
have recently discovered mirror neurons in the brain, suggesting that our
limbic system (emotional brain) that establishes empathy, re-creates
the experience of others intentions and feelings within ourselves. Mutual
exchange and internal adaptation allows two individuals to become attuned
and empathetic to each others inner states. Hence a powerful technique to
master in any kind of dispute is to empathize with the feelings and views of
the other individual by managing what we express both verbally and nonverbally. This social awareness allows you to make the right concessions at
the right time. Once you have made a concession, it is likely that the other
party will respond in kind. Moreover, when you recognize a concession has
been made, reciprocate with one of your own
5. Build a positive relationship- Once a bond has been established, we must
nurture the relationship as well as pursue our goals. We need to balance
reason and emotion, because emotions such as fear, anger, frustration and
even love may disrupt otherwise thoughtful actions
MANAGING CONFLICT IN CLASSOOMS

Problem-solving negotiations: When both the goal and the relationship are highly
important to the students, problem-solving negotiations are initiated to resolve the conflict.
Solutions are sought that ensure both students fully achieve their goals and that any tensions or
negative feelings between the two are dissipated.

Smoothing: When the goal is of little importance, but the relationship is of high
importance, one person gives up their goals so that the other person can achieve theirs. This is
done to maintain the highest-quality relationship possible. If the teacher detects that one
students goals or interests in the conflict are much stronger than the others, the teacher can
facilitate a smoothing of the conflict. Smoothing should be done with good humor!

Forcing or win-lose negotiations: When the goal is very important but the relationship is
not, students will seek to achieve their own goals at the expense of the other persons goals.
They do so by forcing or persuading the other person to yield. They are competing for a win.

Compromising: When both the goal and the relationship are moderately important, and it
appears that neither person can have their way, the students will need to give up part of their
goals, and possibly sacrifice part of the relationship, in order to reach an agreement.
Compromising may involve meeting in the middle or flipping a coin. Compromising is often used
when students wish to engage in problem-solving negotiations but do not have the time to do
so.

Withdrawing: When the goal is not important to the student and neither is the
relationship, a student may wish to give up their goal completely and avoid the issue with the
person. Sometimes it is good for both students to withdraw from the conflict until they have
calmed down and are in control of their feelings.
Each of the five strategies is appropriate under a particular set of circumstances. To be truly
effective in managing conflicts, teachers must engage competently in each strategy. This takes
practice.

Introduce conflict resolution skills to the students and incorporate practicing them
into your classroom.

Realize that for some students, this is their only exposure to properly resolving a
conflict.

Help students see personal value in properly resolving a conflict. (How does it
benefit me? How does it make my life easier?)

Provide your students with the ability to solve their problems so that they can
build confidence and establish positive relationships with others.

Show students that there are systematic ways of resolving conflicts on their own,
allowing them to request the help of an adult only when necessary.

Remember that many of these conflicts occur during recess, at lunch, after
school, or on the bus.

Allow students to express their frustrations and feelings after they have resolved
a conflict, at an appropriate time. Review your conflict resolution strategies often.

Post steps for conflict resolution in your classroom. Refer to them and review
them often.

Practice through role-play.

Discuss the consequences of different behaviors. Help students understand that


resolution is the easiest solution.

Use conflict resolution slips.

You might also like