Domestic Violence In The Hmong Community

For Asian American communities, the lack of pertinent data makes it very difficult
to estimate the total prevalence of partner abuse. However, studies indicate that
domestic violence is at least as prevalent in the Asian American populations as the
general American population and may be higher in certain Asian subgroups.

The Hmong culture places great importance on family, clan and promoting the good
of the group above the needs of the individual. Large families were encouraged and
valued. Hmong men in Laos were allowed to have more than one wife to increase the
number of children. Sons were especially important as they would carry on the clan
name and care for parents in old age. Early marriages were the norm. Most boys
married between the age of 15 to 18 and girls between the age of 13 and 16. When
married and especially with the arrival of children the couple were viewed as adults
and given more respect. It was unacceptable for an individual not to marry. Issues
relating to Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender (LGBT) sexual orientation are very
new to the Southeast Asian communities. The Hmong culture, especially, does not
accept the fact that these differences exist. Many of the adult Hmong believe those
who exhibit LGBT tendencies to be crazy or choosing the behavior because of
association with inappropriate peers and/or other disrespect of the culture and
traditions. Some Southeast Asian LGBT youth and adults who have been open to
parents/other family members have been disowned, banned from the home, and
shunned in the community. This has resulted in fear, shame and isolation for some.
Unfortunately this can result in attempting, and for some committing, suicide.

During the years from 1998 to 2002 there were so many suicides of Hmong and
Southeast Asian individuals in the Fresno, California area that it led to the Office
Refugee Resettlement in Washington, DC commissioning a team of experts from
SAMHSA to go in and investigate what was happening. Two of the suicides
involved a lesbian couple in their teens and early twenties. Their families didn’t
understand the couples relationship and would not tolerate it. The two drowned
themselves together. Upon completion of their investigation, SAMHSA’s final
recommendations included the need for education on LGBT issues be provided for
the general Hmong and Southeast Asian communities and support be developed for
those identifying as LGBT members. The above data clearly reflects the need for
awareness and resource development. The need for the community in general to
come together to discuss these issues and collaborate on solutions is evident.

Domestic violence and abuse of women in Hmong families is sometimes the accepted
norm. Hmong women face different challenges in abusive relationships than white
women who speak fluent English and are American citizens for whom shelter and
outreach programs are designed. Factors such as, ill-equipped shelter programs,
language barriers, cultural values that lead to violent behavior, and others, can
create major challenges to the Hmong female victims.
Back in their traditional homeland of Laos, the Hmong people observed a
patriarchal society. Men made the rules, women kept their place. It was expected
that while a husband could lead a clan or simply stay out late with friends, the wife
would stay behind and mind the home and children.

After the Vietnam War, many Hmong -- who sided with the U.S. Forces -- fled
Southeast Asia to avoid persecution. Thousands of Hmong have come to America,
where the concept of gender equality has been one of the biggest challenges to their
traditional value system.

As opposed to Laos, women in America can work outside the home, get an
education, choose their mates, and become community leaders. While some Hmong
appreciate and applaud these opportunities, others reject them as contrary to their
culture. This disagreement has caused tensions in some Hmong households, and
clashes among relatives have even escalated to violence.

Crisis advocates are quick to note that while Hmong-Americans may not have
higher rates of domestic violence than other groups, unique cultural factors may
keep a significant number of victims from seeking help. One of the most immediate
is the clan system, which is expected to intervene and resolve the matter before
police or crisis counselors are called in.

Among Asian women in the U.S., accidents and unintentional injuries – including
those resulting from domestic violence – are the fourth leading cause of death.
(Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, National Center for Health Statistics.
Health, United States, 1995. Public Health Services, 1996.) Factors that contribute to
sexism and violence against women and girls include:
* Daughters and sons are treated differently.
There is a general lack of respect for females, and a lack of support for daughters
because they will marry out of the clan. Often, Hmong community members stay
silent about sons or males that actively mistreat or degrade females.
* It is believed that males are born with more power than females.
Families tend to reinforce through parenting that girls are weaker and should be
subservient to men, and obey men, which creates low self-esteem. Some Hmong
women tend to blame themselves believing that they deserve punishment when
they’re abused. Men learn it is their right to have obedience from women.
*The bride price (sometimes $10,000.00) charged by parents of young virgin
daughters suggests to the groom that they are purchasing their bride. As a
“purchased product” she becomes their “possession” and ownership belongs to
the husband. The cultural belief that once married the girl leaves her family and
clan and now belongs to her husband’s clan reinforces this belief system.
 * Educated wives are not valued and their contributions go unrecognized.
Educated and older wives are seen as uncontrollable and too independent. Young
teenage wives who are more vulnerable and easier to control are sometimes
valued more.
* The marriage structure sets the stage for violence.
Large age differences between husbands and wives set up a power dynamic that
may lead to violence, such as men in their thirties and forties marrying teenagers.
Teens forced to marry because of a pregnancy, or to save face, are cut off from
opportunities to learn and grow. Family violence may result from community
tolerance of second and minor wives, and of women marrying men who are
already married. According to some, early marriage is a form of violence against
women, especially if the woman is young and forced into the relationship.
* Marriage is valued above physical and emotional safety in an abusive
relationship. There is little support or resources for Hmong women who want to
get out of an abusive relationship. Few men or women believe that a husband is
guilty for battering his wife. A woman is usually stigmatized if she leaves an
abusive relationship. Being divorced is worse than being a widow or a second wife
because of the value of marriage. As a widow or a divorced woman, a woman has
no social status in the Hmong community because she is not associated with a
man.
* Children are valued above the reproductive health or rights of women.
Unlike in Laos, many children jeopardize a family economically, and are not an
asset. Because parents are usually stretched in terms of time, they are unable to
supervise or parent all of their children. In some families, the woman does not
have control of her own reproduction. Having many children is the result of her
powerlessness or ambivalence to control unwanted pregnancies in the face of
pressure to have more children