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You are Group-A Central Government employee and your wife is

also Class-I Gazetted Medical Officer in State Govt. You are


married since 5 years and your daughter is about to turn 2 years
this month. Since last 5 years, you have not been staying
together consistently as you and your wifes place of postings are
in separate places. All these years your daughter is staying with
your wife. Now and then you meet both of them, stay for a day
and the report back to duty. Lately you have been thinking
whether this is the right way of living. You are worried about your
familys future. Your parents and relatives think there is no point
living like this. You and your wife do not want to leave secure
government jobs as well. Even though you have tried your best, it
seems impossible to get posted near your wifes work place as
her job is entirely different than yours.
What are the effects on you, your wife and your daughter of not
living together and leading such a life? Will you continue to live
like this till retirement? Critically discuss.
This situation is the result of changing patterns of married lives because of work needs.
It points out the missing role of family in inculcating values.
Effects on me-1) there is always a concern in my mind about the safety of my wife and daughter
2) a sub concious feeling as to how society percieves this situation of me and wife living
separately for most of the time.
3) the above factors coupled with lack of family affection and love at my place affects my
work performance.
Effects on my wife-1) there will be a feeling of insecurity
2) she has the additional duty of looking after our daughter who needs greater care at her
age which may be detrimental to both her work and our daughter.
Effects on my daughters-1) though she hasnt recieved much personal care of her father until now, now i cannot
afford to continue the same as she is almost two years old and will be attending school in

an year.
2) they say, a girl's first hero is her father. She might lack the strength and courage she
needs at her later life when she faces the society if i do not fulfill my role as a father.
In the words of Desmond Tutu, "you dont choose your family. They are god's gift to you,
as you are to them". Me and my wife have to work this out practically with our daughter's
future in our minds.
I would explore the following options,
1) i have tried but i cannot get transfer to her place, so would ask her to try to get a
transfer to my place instead.
2) else we shall look out for transfer options to a place which is commutable for both us ,
so that we can stay together.
3) if nothing works out , a compromise has to be made by my wife or me regarding the
government job. Preferably she could have a private practice as a doctor at my place or i
apply to a government job some other office which is nearer to her.
This is a typical example of work and personal LIFE balance . Public servant are expected
to give sacrifices like this for the greater good of the country.Since the officer and his wife
are in peace with their work and don't want to quit, it shows their dedication.Leaving the
job is not an option as they would feel let down by themselves later.Identity crisis and
unsatisfied life may encroach their mind.
Yes, the personal family life of the couple is being affected , and so does the lives of
numerous people working in social sector.Idea of being integrated with the upliftment of
masses always gives proper motivation.Daughter's life is not going to get affected as she
will be always proud of her parents about their sacrifice and love for their work. She in
turn will develop those virtues and incorporate in her life. Not denying the fact that she
might feel lack of complete parental care at times, but in long run such examples will
help to endeavor love for the society and motivate her to work for greater good. The
couple can utilise their leaves judiciously and in the age of Informational technology they
can always be in touch with each other.
Since the lady is a doctor she can always look for the vacancies which govt. publishes
from time to time on the experience basis by different state govt.As the doctor
/population ratio is very low in our country and thus it doesn't seem very difficult seeing
the QUANTUM OF advt. of state govt. in the news papers.
Escaping is never a solution rather to face a situation judiciously and balancing work and
family life to the degree which is possible shud be the order of the day.Viable alternatives
are always there it just needs a hawk eye to figure out.

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