10 Warning Signs of Word Salad

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10 Warning Signs of Word Salad
by *Peace* <https://www.psychopathfree.com/member.php?1-Peace>
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Published on 10-30-2012 08:32 PM
209 Comments
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ad#comments>
Comments
This article is from a later chapter of the*Psychopath Free book
(click to view on Amazon)* <http://book.psychopathfree.com/>. Or
find in Barnes & Noble stores eveywhere!
When they re feeling threatened or bored, psychopaths will often use
what s called word salad in an attempt to keep your mind occupied.
Basically, it s a conversation from hell. They aren t actually
saying anything at all. They re just talking at you. Before you can
even respond to one outrageous statement, they re already on to the
next. You ll be left with your head spinning. Study the warning
signs, and disengage before any damage can be done:
*1. **Circular conversations*
You ll think you worked something out, only to begin discussing it
again in two minutes. And it s as if you never even said a word the
first time around. They begin reciting all of the same tired
garbage, ignoring any legitimate arguments you may have provided
moments ago. If something is going to be resolved, it will be on
their terms. With psychopaths, the same issues will come up over and
over again why are they so friendly with their ex again? Why are
they suddenly not paying any attention to you? Why do they sound so
eager to get off the phone? And every time you bring up these
issues, it s as if you never even had the argument in the past. You
get sucked back in, only to feel crazy & high-maintenance when they
decide I m sick of always arguing about this. It s a merry-go-round.
*2. **Bringing up your past wrongdoings & ignoring their own*
If you point out something nasty they're doing like ignoring you or
cheating they ll mention something totally unrelated from the past
that you ve done wrong. Did you used to drink too much? Well then,
their cheating isn t really all that bad compared to your drinking
problem. Were you late to your first date two years ago? Well then,
you can t complain about them ignoring you for three days straight.
And God forbid you bring up any of their wrongdoings. Then, you are
a bitter lunatic with a list of grievances.
*3. **Condescending & patronizing tone*
The entire conversation will have this calm, cool demeanor. It s
almost as if they re mocking you, gaging your reactions to see how
much further they can push. When you finally react emotionally,
that s when they ll tell you to calm down, raise their eyebrows,
smirk, or feign disappointment. The whole point of word salad is to
make you unhinged, and therefore give them the upper hand. Because
remember, conversations are competitions just like anything else
with a psychopath.
*4. **Accusing you of doing things that they themselves are doing*
I mentioned this in the previous section about psychopaths putting
you on the defense. In heated arguments, psychopaths have no shame.
They will begin labeling you with their own horrible qualities. It
goes beyond projection, because most people project unknowingly.
Psychopaths know they are smearing you with their own flaws, and
they are seeking a reaction. After all, how can you not react to
such blatant hypocrisy?
*5. **Multiple personas*
Through the course of a word salad conversation, you re likely to
experience a variety of their personalities. It s sort of like good
cop, bad cop, demented cop, stalker cop, scary cop, baby cop. If
you re pulling away, sick of their abuse and lies, they will restore
a glimpse of the idealize phase. A little torture to lure you back
in with promises of marriage and children. If that doesn t work,
suddenly they ll start insulting the things they once idealized.
You ll be left wondering who you re even talking to, because his
personas are imploding as they struggle to regain control. Our
beloved administrator, Victoria, summed this up perfectly: The
devil himself was unleashed in a desperate fit of fury after being
recognized: twisting, turning, writhing, spewing, flattering,
sparkling, vomiting.
*6. **The eternal victim*
Somehow their cheating and lying will always lead back to a
conversation about their abusive past or a crazy ex. You will end up
feeling bad for them, even when *they've *done something horribly
wrong. You will instead use it as an opportunity to bond with them
over their supposed complex feelings. And once they have
successfully averted your attention elsewhere, everything will go
back to the way it was. No bonding or deep spiritual connection
whatsoever. Psychopaths cry abuse but in the end, you are the one
left with nothing.
*7. **You begin explaining basic human emotions *
You find yourself explaining things like empathy and feelings

and being nice . Normal adults do not need to be taught the golden
rules from kindergarten. You are not the first person who has
attempted to see the good in them, and you will not be the last. You
think to yourself, if they can just understand why I m hurt, then
they ll stop doing it. But they won t. They wouldn t have done it
in the first place if they were a decent human being. The worst part
is, they pretended to be decent when you first met sucking you in
with this sweet, caring persona. They know how to be kind & good,
but they find it boring.
*8. **Excuses*
Everyone messes up every now and then, but psychopaths recite
excuses more often than they actually follow through with promises.
Their actions never match up with their words. You are disappointed
so frequently that you feel relieved when they do something
decent they condition you to become grateful for the mediocre.
*9. ** What in the world just happened *
These conversations leave you drained. You will be left with an
actual headache. You will spend hours, even days, obsessing over the
argument. You ll feel as if you exhausted all of your emotional
energy to accomplish absolutely nothing. You will have a million
pre-planned arguments in your head, ready to respond to all the
unaddressed points that you couldn t keep up with. You will feel the
need to defend yourself. You ll try to come up with a diplomatic
solution that evenly distributes the blame, and therefore gives you
both a chance to apologize and make up. But in the end, you ll find
that you re the only one apologizing.
<https://www.psychopathfree.com/attachment.php?s=4fdf487fd581f960602b1c10a57
7e411&attachmentid=6958&d=1409272733>
_This article was originally published in forum thread: 10 Warning
Signs of Word Salad
<https://www.psychopathfree.com/showthread.php?1580-Article-10-Warning-Signs
-of-Word-Salad>
started by Peace <https://www.psychopathfree.com/member.php?1-Peace>
_View original post
<https://www.psychopathfree.com/showthread.php?1580-Article-10-Warning-Signs
-of-Word-Salad&p=17054#post17054>
1. Categories:
2. Education
<https://www.psychopathfree.com/list.php?category/54-Education>,
3. Red Flags
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4. Pity Play
<https://www.psychopathfree.com/list.php?category/69-Pity-Play>,
5. Projection
<https://www.psychopathfree.com/list.php?category/74-Projection>,
6. Hypocrisy
<https://www.psychopathfree.com/list.php?category/75-Hypocrisy>,
7. Toxic People
<https://www.psychopathfree.com/list.php?category/76-Toxic-People>,
8. Lying and Liars

<https://www.psychopathfree.com/list.php?category/77-Lying-and-Liars>
209 Comments
1.
<https://www.psychopathfree.com/member.php?630-Rydia>
Rydia <https://www.psychopathfree.com/member.php?630-Rydia> 10-30-2012
o Reply
<https://www.psychopathfree.com/newreply.php?do=newreply&p=17055&ret
urn_node=147>
Peace, I love your posts. Thank you!
My experience wasn't as bad as a lot of the people here, but
I've experienced every one of these. He very nearly fried my
brain. Number 1 especially hits home. I DID apologize after
the last crazy argument and it was a huge mistake. I read
somewhere that apologizing to them is like blood in the
water to a shark. It was. But at least it showed me what he
really is and finally forced me to get out.
1.
<https://www.psychopathfree.com/member.php?1-Peace>
Peace <https://www.psychopathfree.com/member.php?1-Peace> 10-30-2012
o Reply
urn_node=147>
Quote Originally Posted by *Rydia*
<https://www.psychopathfree.com/showthread.php?p=17055#post17055>
Peace, I love your posts. Thank you!
My experience wasn't as bad as a lot of the people here, but
I've experienced every one of these. He very nearly fried my
brain. Number 1 especially hits home. I DID apologize after
the last crazy argument and it was a huge mistake. I read
somewhere that apologizing to them is like blood in the
water to a shark. It was. But at least it showed me what he
really is and finally forced me to get out.
Thanks Rydia! Isn't it nuts how our brains feel physically
messed up from the experience? I think it's sort of like
unwiring from an addiction - consumes our every thought, and
suddenly we've lost track of what really matters in life. So
glad you are free now
1.
<https://www.psychopathfree.com/member.php?415-free-bird>
free bird
<https://www.psychopathfree.com/member.php?415-free-bird> 10-30-2012
o Reply
urn_node=147>
Boy, 1,2,3, and especially 9, and 10! Thanks for re-posting
this Peace! Seriously, where do they learn these tactics?

The way they talk is enough to drive any normal person with
basic communication skills insane!
1.
<https://www.psychopathfree.com/member.php?336-Victoria>
Victoria
<https://www.psychopathfree.com/member.php?336-Victoria> 10-31-2012
o Reply
urn_node=147>
This is worth framing! Thank you.
1.
<https://www.psychopathfree.com/member.php?556-MorningAfter>
MorningAfter
<https://www.psychopathfree.com/member.php?556-MorningAfter> 10-31-2012
o Reply
urn_node=147>
This is it.
I mean, it was all like that. I remember my head spin and
got stuck and spin again in circles and I was trying to find
a best way out from the situation, I was ready for
compromise just to feel that we have accomplished some
agreement. Of course that has started once D&D started,
because before that I remember we had nice conversation,
each time we would come to agreement. But I suppose that it
was easy for him to come to the agreement in a fairytale
story... just for fun...
They do it easily in love bombing phase as just easy as then
don't do it after D&D starts... But that is the catch,
because it is not that I was stuck in explaining to him
basics because he never known that but I was stuck because
he used to get it before. And now it seemed that he became
stupid and ignorant. So I tried stronger, because I know he
used to communicate nicely before...
It is to drive us crazy really. Because if one can
communicate nicely with me for the amount of time, it is not
possible that after some time s/he forgets basic of human
relationships. ...
I tried so hard to understand what happened to him, and why
he became so angry and disconnected after the engagement. ..
ha- at the end i got it- it is because he is a psychopath...
1.
<https://www.psychopathfree.com/member.php?313-Adora>
Adora <https://www.psychopathfree.com/member.php?313-Adora> 10-31-2012
o Reply
urn_node=147>
This is great, Peace, I'm going to save it, thanks
1.
<https://www.psychopathfree.com/member.php?648-Freya>
Freya <https://www.psychopathfree.com/member.php?648-Freya> 10-31-2012
o Reply
urn_node=147>
...Laughing so hard at the "good cop / bad cop / demented
cop / stalker cop / scary cop / baby cop" expression... So
accurate.
Ex-P did all the 10 on this list. Just a minute ago, I ended
a "nice conversation" with him on the phone. I was laughing
in my mind: "I know now what you're doing, and you're not
gonna get me anymore!"
1.
<https://www.psychopathfree.com/member.php?4-peru>
peru <https://www.psychopathfree.com/member.php?4-peru> 10-31-2012
o Reply
urn_node=147>
What a brilliant post , there isnt much writen about word
salad because it is so difficult to put into words but you
just nailed it x
1.
<https://www.psychopathfree.com/member.php?6-Smitten-Kitten>
Smitten Kitten
<https://www.psychopathfree.com/member.php?6-Smitten-Kitten> 10-31-2012
o Reply
urn_node=147>
Wow! Like others already said, this is a brilliant post! The
one I knew did all of these things and so does my mother.
With my mother, number 8 is especially relevant. My whole
life she would do this. We would be having an argument about
something and she would NEVER stick to the facts or the
topic of the argument itself. I would be reasoning with her
and she would be losing the argument basically because the
facts were the facts and she couldn't deny them. Instead,
she would bring up something I did when I was five years
old! Or something else so outrageous that had nothing to do
with anything, just to knock me off balance and put me on
the defense. I used to call these kitchen sink fights
because she'd throw in everything but the kitchen sink just

to keep me reeling from the blows, and none of it EVER had
anything to do with what we were originally arguing about,
which was usually something shitty she said to me, or maybe
me just defending myself when she verbally attacked me for
no other reason than she was in the mood for a fight.
OMG, though. As I was reading this list, I also recognized
that my former "friend" of 13 years that I had a falling out
with also did some of this stuff. Maybe not all of it and
not all the time, but a lot of it when the arguments
increased and escalated to the end of the friendship.
Especially 10, 8, 7, 6 and 1.
1.
Smitten Kitten
o Reply
urn_node=147>
Quote Originally Posted by *Peace*
I have to because giraffes don t wear mittens in the summer.
ROFL at this!
1.
Smitten Kitten
o Reply
urn_node=147>
*7. Condescending & patronizing tone*
The entire conversation will have this calm, cool
demeanor. It s almost as if he s mocking you, gauging your
reactions to see how much further he can push. When you
finally react emotionally, that s when he ll tell you to
calm down , raise his eyebrows, smirk, feign
disappointment, etc. You know the drill. The whole point of
word salad is to make you unhinged, and therefore give him
the upper hand. Because remember, conversations are
competitions just like anything else with a psychopath.
While the psychopath I knew and my mother do this, this is a
skill my ex-friend excels at. I think this sort of
manipulation also falls under passive-aggression and
gaslighting. They sit there and push all your buttons until
you get upset and respond in anger, while they remain calm
and collected, making you look hysterical and unreasonable.
And if you manage to ignore them at first, or try to reason
with them, they will continue pushing buttons until they

finally get a reaction. Passive-agressive people will fly
under the radar dropping bombs on you in a room full of
people, and the others will only see your explosion. At that
point the offender will either smile in satisfaction, look
"dismayed," or keep a completely stoney face while saying
you're acting inappropriately (gaslighting). Others may
agree with them, thinking you're clearly the one with the
problem and have anger issues, not realizing that you were
provoked to that point by the other person. And the fact
that they remain calm only reinforces this perception that
you're the crazy one.
1.
<https://www.psychopathfree.com/member.php?662-Elsbeth>
Elsbeth <https://www.psychopathfree.com/member.php?662-Elsbeth>
- 11-01-2012
o Reply
urn_node=147>
/*3*
...I guarantee you are not the first person who has
attempted to see the good in him, and you will not be the
last. You think to yourself, if he can just understand why
I m hurt, then he ll stop doing it. No, he won t. He
wouldn t have done it in the first place if he was a decent
human being. Any full-grown adult knows how to treat other
people. And the worst part is, he pretended to be that
person when you first met sucking you in with this sweet,
caring persona. The fact is, he KNOWS how to be kind & good,
but he finds it boring. Don t waste your time explaining the
human conscience to a psychopath. You d have better luck
with a brick wall./
This I want engraved large onto my walls. It makes me feel
just a little bit better knowing their behaviour is all
straight out of the same manual. I had no idea, none
whatsoever, that psychopaths are so predictable, so similar,
so very unoriginal.
1.
<https://www.psychopathfree.com/member.php?630-Rydia>
Rydia <https://www.psychopathfree.com/member.php?630-Rydia> 11-01-2012
o Reply
urn_node=147>
I agree Elsbeth. I could never let go of thinking that if he
just understood what was hurting me, he wouldn't do it
anymore. So I'd explain it one more time. All that did was
tell him he was winning.....again. I've heard that insanity
is doing the same thing over and over, and expecting
different results. I think I qualify in this area.
1.
Smitten Kitten
o Reply
urn_node=147>
*3. You begin explaining basic human emotions *
Okay, this is a huge one and needs to be shouted from the
rooftops. Ready? If you find yourself explaining things like
empathy and feelings and being nice , RUN. AWAY. Normal
adults do not need to be taught the golden rule from
kindergarten. I guarantee you are not the first person who
has attempted to see the good in him, and you will not be
the last. You think to yourself, if he can just understand
why I m hurt, then he ll stop doing it. No, he won t. He
wouldn t have done it in the first place if he was a decent
human being. Any full-grown adult knows how to treat other
people. And the worst part is, he /pretended/ to be that
person when you first met sucking you in with this sweet,
caring persona. The fact is, he KNOWS how to be kind & good,
but he finds it boring. Don t waste your time explaining the
human conscience to a psychopath. You d have better luck
with a brick wall.
I used to ask myself and him, WHY is he doing this? Why is
he talking about other women? Why is he telling me about
things I don't want to know about? "Because I tell you
everything, Smitten..." He used "honesty" as an excuse to
torture me with triangulation and "the truth." And I was the
"only one he could talk to" and his "best friend." After the
D&D, dumping me for another woman openly on FB and
describing in detail how happy she made him, and me telling
him how much he was hurting me, I remember him saying, "How
am I hurting you?" (Head-exploding icon here!) I couldn't
believe he would ask such a thing! He knew how I felt about
him and how he had pretended to feel about me, so how could
he not understand the pain he was causing me? I found myself
trying to explain it! How could anyone be so dense and
obtuse? I realize now he was just getting off on me
describing my pain and suffering. He wanted me to TELL him
HOW it was hurting me. Sick, sadistic bastard.
1.
<https://www.psychopathfree.com/member.php?510-psychobear>
psychobear
<https://www.psychopathfree.com/member.php?510-psychobear> 11-02-2012
o Reply
urn_node=147>
Oh the memories. Arguing with someone that has this mental
handicap is an exersize in futility... literally... they
just make you mentally exercise and tire you out until you
give up.
The hypocracy part rings so true. I recall when I would stop

fighting then she would bust out one of these just to bait
me back in. I stopped responding to that and her hypocracy
got so bad her own grandma was yelling at her while I
remained quiet.
the memories... the horror!
1.
<https://www.psychopathfree.com/member.php?15-Jewels>
Jewels <https://www.psychopathfree.com/member.php?15-Jewels> 11-02-2012
o Reply
urn_node=147>
Just run away! I loveeee this post!! PERFECT fits to a tee.
I found myself doing every single one of those within the
past 14 years of that on/more off relationship with my ex.
Now I just shut up and he gets the silent treatment. He
tries to bait me every now and then but bottom line, that
brick wall isn't worth my time and his word is garbage.
1.
<https://www.psychopathfree.com/member.php?336-Victoria>
Victoria
<https://www.psychopathfree.com/member.php?336-Victoria> 11-03-2012
o Reply
urn_node=147>
Many of us have gotten caught up in the psychopath's "word
salad." We were attempting to have reasonable arguments or
discussions, when actually the whole experience was a
purposeful, destructive distortion of reality by the
psychopath. I sure wish I'd seen this list when I was having
crazy conversations that were causing me to start losing my
mind.
Most of us are reading this list because we know or are
pretty sure that we've been dealing with a psychopath,
whether they've exhibited one "word salad" trait or all of
them. We've been caught up in a nightmare of word twisting
and gaslighting, and we're trying to figure out what the
heck has been going on. It's a validation and clarification
of we already know or suspect.
1.
<https://www.psychopathfree.com/member.php?486-Nell>
Nell <https://www.psychopathfree.com/member.php?486-Nell> 11-04-2012
o Reply
urn_node=147>
Excellent!
Love that last line as well. Great mind pic.
Awesome!
1.
<https://www.psychopathfree.com/member.php?602-Drainu>
Drainu <https://www.psychopathfree.com/member.php?602-Drainu> 11-04-2012
o Reply
urn_node=147>
I can relate to many of these but number 3 is huge. I can't
tell u how many times I asked, begged him, explained to him
to be nice, show kindness, have empathy. I tried to give him
every opportunity to behave like a human being but no. He's
a cruel, selfish p.o.s. every time. Sigh.
1.
<https://www.psychopathfree.com/member.php?483-Echo7>
Echo7 <https://www.psychopathfree.com/member.php?483-Echo7> 11-07-2012
o Reply
urn_node=147>
Why do you keep using the word "he" in the article? Is this
about your own personal experience with a man or something
written in general. If it is the latter then wouldn't a more
gender neutral term be acceptable?
Because I can assure you there are plenty female psychopaths
out there, that can equal if not exceed the damage done by
their male counterparts.
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ReadyToRun wrote:
Step and other sis want me to call my mom and relieve her stress. I
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You know...the ones that give you that "holy shit this is a messed
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10 Warning Signs of Word Salad - Narcissist, Sociopath, and Psychopath Abuse Recovery

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You find yourself explaining things like empathy and feelings

8. Lying and Liars

this Peace! Seriously, where do they learn these tactics?

because she'd throw in everything but the kitchen sink just

with them, they will continue pushing buttons until they

The hypocracy part rings so true. I recall when I would stop

stepbystep - have a look at this one on youtube if your region allows it

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