Assertive Communication

PMO Knowledge Sharing

Presented by Valluvan. A
Assertive Communication
Communication
Communication is the process of transferring signals/messages
between a sender and a receiver through various methods (written
words, nonverbal cues, spoken words). It is also the mechanism
we use to establish and modify relationships.
Assertive Communication
Assertiveness
• Assertiveness is the ability to formulate and communicate one's
own thoughts, opinions and wishes in a clear, direct and non-
aggressive way.
• Expressing yourself in a clear affirmative manner.
• Helping others around you to grow by giving direct, honest
feedback.
• Knowing about yourself and your career ambitions.
• Being productive.
Assertive Communication
Styles of Communication

Passive

• A person operating from the passive style, tends to avoid

conflict at all costs.
• This person will internalize discomfort rather than risk upsetting
others.
• This style tends to result in a lose-win situation and results in
feelings of victimization, resentment and loss in sense of
control.
• A person who uses this style in many of his daily interactions
has belief that other people needs are more important than their
own.
Assertive Communication
Styles of Communication

Passive . . . . .

• The person thinks that if he/she speaks up, others will ignore or
reject them.
• This individual usually has a low sense of self-esteem.
• Has a difficult time recognizing his/her own needs and knowing
how to get them met more appropriately.
Assertive Communication
Styles of Communication

Aggressive

• The person creates a win-lose situation.

• This individual uses intimidation and control to get his/her
needs met and is disrespectful and hurtful to others in
communications.
• This person believes that power and control are the only way to
get needs met.
• This person operates from a real sense of inadequacy and may
have a lack of empathy for others.
Assertive Communication
Styles of Communication

Passive - Aggressive

• The Passive-Aggressive person incorporates elements of both

of the previous styles.
• He/she tends to use procrastination, forgetfulness, and
intentional inefficiency rather that being direct in his
communications with others.
Assertive Communication
Styles of Communication

Assertive

• The Assertive person is direct with the goal of creating a win-

win situation.
• This style respects one’s own rights and opinions, as well as
those of the other person.
• This individual operates from the belief that each of us is
responsible for solving our own problems and neither party in
communication has to justify themselves to each.
Assertive Communication
What….?
• It is the ability to express positive and negative ideas and
feelings in an open, honest and direct way.
• It allows us to take responsibility for ourselves and our actions
without judging or blaming other people.
• It allows us to constructively confront and find a mutually
satisfying solution where conflict exists.
Assertive Communication
Why….?
• Quite often when we feel vulnerable or unsure of ourselves we
may resort to submissive, manipulative or aggressive behavior.
• To enables us to swap old behavior patterns for a more positive
approach to life.
• Response to others (work colleagues, clients or even own
family) will be exciting.
Assertive Communication
Advantages
• Improve interpersonal relationships.
• Enhance self esteem.
• Minimize stress.
• Reduce feelings of helplessness/depression.
• Reduce conflicts/anxiety.
• Retain self respect.
• Treats others respectfully.
• Gives a sense of control.
Assertive Communication
Features
• Eye Contact : demonstrates interest, shows sincerity.
• Body Posture : congruent body language will improve the
significance of the message. (congruent means
coinciding/matching at all situations)
• Gestures: appropriate sign/signal helps to add emphasis.
• Voice : a level, well modulated tone is more convincing and
acceptable and is not intimidating.
• Timing : use your judgment to maximize receptivity and impact.
• Content : how, when and where you choose to comment is
probably more important than WHAT you say.
Assertive Communication
Techniques

Behaviour Rehearsal

• Which is literally practicing how you want to look and sound. It

is a very useful technique when you first want to use "I"
statements, as it helps dissipate any emotion associated with
an experience and allows you to accurately identify the
behavior you wish to confront.
Assertive Communication
' i ' Statements
• Part of being assertive involves the ability to appropriately
express your needs. You can accomplish this by using "I"
statements.
• Strong "I" statements have three specific elements :
• Behaviour.
• Feeling.
• Tangible effect (consequence to you).
• Example
Assertive Communication
Techniques

Repeated Assertion

• Is also called the 'broken record‘, this technique allows you to

feel comfortable by ignoring manipulative verbal side traps and
irrelevant logic while sticking to your point. Use calm repetition,
and say what you want and stay focused on the issue.
Assertive Communication
Techniques

Fogging

• This technique allows you to receive criticism comfortably

without getting anxious or defensive and without rewarding
manipulative criticism.
• To do this you need to acknowledge the criticism, agree that
there may be some truth to what they say, but remain the judge
of your choice of action.
Assertive Communication
Techniques

Negative Enquiry

• This technique seeks out criticism about yourself in close

relationships by prompting the expression of honest, negative
feelings to improve communication.
Assertive Communication
Techniques

Negative Assertion

• This technique lets you look more comfortably at negatives in

your own behavior or personality without feeling defensive or
anxious, this also reduces your critics' hostility.
• You should accept your errors or faults, but need not apologize.
Instead, tentatively and sympathetically agree with hostile
criticism of your negative qualities.
Assertive Communication
Techniques

Workable Compromise

• When you feel that your self-respect is not in question, consider

a workable compromise with the other person.
Assertive Communication
Why it is Important?
• Brings achievement of individual and shared goals.
• Increases your ability to reach these goals while maintaining
your rights and dignity.
• Expresses yourself in a clear affirmative manner.
• Helps others around you grow by giving direct and honest
feedback.
• Lets you know about yourself and your career ambitions.
• Leads you to be productive.
• Getting your message across without stepping on other’s toes .
Assertive Communication
Test your Skills
• Can you express negative feelings about other people and their
behaviors without using abusive language?
• Are you able to exercise and express your strengths?
• Can you easily recognize and compliment other people's
achievements?
• Do you have the confidence to ask for what is rightfully yours?
• Can you accept criticism without being defensive?
• Do you feel comfortable accepting compliments?
Assertive Communication
Test your Skills
• Are you able to stand up for your rights?
• Are you able to refuse unreasonable requests from friends,
family, or colleagues?
• Do you ask for assistance when you need it?
• A "Yes" response to the questions indicates you are an
assertive communicator.
Assertive Communication
Remember

• Assertiveness in communication is a useful tool. It's application

is contextual and it's not appropriate to be assertive in all
situations.
• Your sudden use of assertiveness may be perceived as an act
of aggression by others.
Assertive Communication

Thank You