But, dont get too comfortable in your routine.

Adding some spice and maintaining some

good habits will make a very successful and enjoyable marriage. Some of these habits are
similar to the Muslim Husband Habits but, some are just for us, girls.

1.

Stay Healthy and Get Outside!

This is by far the most important habit a Muslim Wife can do to make a successful
marriage.

Before marriage, my husband and I were both active people. He was an

extreme biker and I played basketball for almost 10 years before we met. After
marriage and the onset of chores, work and family obligations, time for staying healthy
was becoming low on our priority scale.
Over time, we both forgot the initial attraction we had for one another an active,
healthy lifestyle. An active lifestyle brings many benefits from clearing the mind from
trivial matters to enjoying each others company in a different way.
As we have brought the active lifestyle back into our lives, we both realize we learn a lot
about each other through activity. For example, on our hikes we see the other persons
stamina and determination, in playing basketball, we see our competitiveness side, and
in our daily walks we see each others stillness and appreciation for nature.
It is by far a crucial aspect of our relationship and one that really keeps us connected,
alhamdulillah.

2.

Listen and Be Supportive

One of the best things a Muslim Wife can do for her husband is be supportive. We all
know the famous story of our Beloved Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon
him; after receiving revelation, he came straight home to his nurturing wife, Sayyidina
Khadija, may Allah be pleased with her. She wasnt on the phone with her girlfriend nor
was she too busy on the computer, she was ready to comfort and listen.
For me, this starts as soon as your husband comes home through the door. Greeting
your husband with a salaam, a smile and a hug is sure to set a peaceful atmosphere
right away.
A Muslim Wife is attentive to her husbands needs. If he is holding something in his
hands, like groceries, take them from him, hand him a glass of juice or have some fruit
or snacks readily available. These small gestures show simple kindness and goes a long
way.

If your husband had a hard day at work, the initial greeting will soothe him. Thereafter,
if he needs to vent about his boss or co-worker, listen to him. A good listener asks
questions, makes good eye contact and reassures with nods and affection. Initially,
take his side! If things are said that you dont agree with, wait until a better time to
give advice. The first initial response he is looking for is support and kindness from his
wife, even if he is wrong. Thereafter, of course you can give advice and guide.
Another tip remember names of people your husband says. A week later after the
work problem is over, simply ask your husband, Is everything okay with Michael, now?
He will be happy that you really listened by remembering names.
So, lend a good ear and your hearts will come closer together.

3.

Be Creative Change is Good!

We like to change things around in our apartment every season. This is as simple as
changing the furniture into a different position, changing hanging pictures or decluttering old knick knacks.
Over time, my husband and I have become minimalists. We like the clean counter-tops,
things put away in drawers and cupboards, and we have a new distaste for random
objects. So, we minimize every season by giving away clothes, dishes and books.
We also change our usual eating spots at the table and seating in the living room. We
change our chores around too. I usually cook and he washes the dishes, but lately we
have been cooking together and then sharing the dishes too (I soap while he rinses).
We have about four or five home-cooked meals that we both enjoy and we basically just
rotate them week to week. But, after a while we add a new dish to the mix. Ill learn
something new from mom or a girl friend and surprise him with it one night.
Small changes creates new growth and stimulation to your relationship without falling
into boredom and we always feel like weve just moved in every time we change
things around.

4.

Engage in Good Conversation Learn New Things

Engaging in meaningful dialogue that does not consist of talking about family, friends or
every day matters can boost your marriage.

Very easily we can fall into talking about whats happening in our lives right now, which
is fine and needed. However, your relationship truly grows and tests new boundaries
when you learn new things and share them with your spouse.
My husband shares new things he is always learning from blogging, marketing and
computer stuff. To be honest, this is foreign to me. But, it is something that he is
motivated by and by listening to him I have learned a lot of interesting things about it
(and he has convinced me to write this article for example, lol.)
Its nice to talk about the books or articles Ive read and thought about with my husband
so I can gain his perspective, learn about him and enrich my own. At times, when we
disagree on a topic, our persuasive strategies kick in, allowing for a good debate.
When other temporary things fall away that make you happy a good conversation can
last a life-time.

5.

Be Alive and Excited about Life

Do you remember the first time you met your husband? Probably one of those awkward
meetings or something. But, I remember both of us being alive and happy. We tried to
look our best and be interesting too. I dont remember either of us letting all of our
problems out!
Ive met a few sisters in the last little while that exude a certain kind of sadness or
worry or fear that they dont even realize that they exude. They actually walk around
with a frown!
They might have a problem or concern that of course makes them look and feel a
certain way, but over time if the sad state continues it can really dampen the best of
relationships.
Yes, the honeymoon phase (they say its the two year mark) can reach its end but it
doesnt have to! If you find yourself bored and sad, then it is really up to you to make a
change in the relationship. If you are seriously upset about something, then seek help!
There are so many things to be excited and alive about in the world! You might need a
change in your circle of friends (who really do have a big influence on how you see and
do things) or you might need a new hobby or need to get outside and get fresh air on a
regular basis.

Being energetic and happy and willing to try new things with your husband is an
important aspect of marriage. Being grumpy and unmotivated can lead to a whole
bunch of problems for both of you. Find a new friend or a new hobby or a new book and
get excited about life. Your husband will notice the energy and cheerfulness in you and
you could change the atmosphere of your home and relationship just by changing your
mood.

6.

Have One Good Girl Friend (Or Mom) Share your Problems with
Grace
There are some things that you just need to tell a girl friend because she will just
understand and some things you can only tell your husband and it is important to know
the difference.
It is very easy to get so comfortable with our husbands that we share some things with
them that they really could be spared. There is a certain kind of respect and dignity a
husband needs to have. And, sisters, there is a certain level of respect and dignity he
also has for you, too.
I have seen too many times, sisters complaining about other sisters, their clothes or
their characters to their husbands. Please dont do this! Sharing secrets or worse the
flaws of other sisters to your husbands is a big no-no, especially if the sister confided in
you. Even though you and your husband are a pair, your sister friend should not feel
that everything she tells you is going straight to the husband!
This is not only gossip and forbidden in Islam, but boring and undignified to your
husband. Instead, having a good girl friend or even your mom or someone else you
trust provides an excellent outlet to let out frustrations that can dampen a marriage or a
husbands mood or respect for you.
In the same vein, sisters should not tell other sisters their husbands secrets! Its okay
to seek advice but not in a way that can make your husband lose respect in front of your
friend.
Your husband can be your best friend and will be with you to the very end, inshaAllah.
It is not worth it to lose your husband and what matters to him over a friend who no
matter how close they are, can end up not being there for you in the end.

7.

Dress Up and Smell Good Take Care of Your

Outward andInward Appearance

Finally, after years of searching for the one you are married! You look into the face of
your spouse and you think, so it was you that I was meant to marry. And, the
marriage chapter of your life begins.
Marriage is half our deen and now that there is this one man in your life, this is your
chance to make it everything youve ever dreamed of. And one fun thing a Muslim Wife
can do is simply dress up and smell good.
I always think its interesting that sisters (and brothers) can be frumpy in their homes
but as soon as they step out of the door they dress up and go all out. Very often we
dress up for the world (strangers who we dont know or at our workplace) and
sometimes we just let ourselves go in front of family and our spouses.
I think its great that couples get so comfortable with each other that they can stay in
their pajamas all day. But, sisters, simply dressing up and smelling good can really
uplift your husbands appreciation of you and may make him dress up and smell good
for you too.
If you are a stay-at-home sister/mom, yeah you can stay in your pajamas all day but
if you know your husband is coming home at 5:30, then change into something nice and
put on some perfume at 5:00!
Taking care of personal hygiene and working on yourself inwardly is sure to add to your
overall character. Reading Quran, catching up on a Islamic lecture, praying and making
heartfelt duaa all add to the beauty of you.
So, strike a balance between the outward and the inward appearance of you and watch
the positive benefits come into your marriage and family.

8.

Be Affectionate Dont Hold Back Your Love

I think culturally, many sisters can bring a lot of baggage to their marriages and it is not
our fault because its the way weve all grown up.
Some of us have been too immersed in Western culture and seen all the movies that we
have expectations of our husbands to act a certain way or we are the complete opposite
where we have been so sheltered that marriage and the thought of living with a boy
(when you are married) is strange and almost wrong!

And, it is strange. All of our lives, sisters grow up in the homes of parents only to leave
them (quite suddenly) to live with a complete stranger (most people only know each
other for a short while before they get married.)
But, the truth of the matter is that marriage is a noble sunnah that is one of the most
beautiful aspects of our deen. And, one of the best things a Muslim Wife can do is to be
affectionate, even if it has to be learned over time. This is your husband now. The one
man that you married and will be married to for ever, inshaAllah. Be affectionate with
your husband, whatever that means to you, and the affection will lead to a closer and
more connected relationship.
Human touch, whether it be holding hands or a hug, leads to Mercy (Rahma) in
relationships whether it is with your husband, sister friends or even your parents. So,
be affectionate often and reap the benefits.

9.

Go the Extra Mile Hell Notice (Hopefully)

Going the extra mile means doing something for your husband that goes above and
beyond what he expects of you.
If he asked you to make a meal for his family, it means you go all out and make the
dishes with care and effort.
If you are going out for a special day, it means you take time to find the right outfit and
perhaps wear it a bit differently than he is used to. It could mean sending him a
random text message to say you are thinking of him or a random e-card.
It could mean spending extra time listening to him talk to you about his concerns
without you changing the subject. It could mean baking home-made cookies, inviting
him on a special day you have planned, making him a gift or cleaning his desk space.
It could mean wearing earrings if you normally dont at home, or giving him free time to
work-out or for his hobby, or even helping him get ready in the morning with a packed
lunch with a nice note inside.
The ideas are endless and with a bit of extra time and effort, your husband will
appreciate the little details youve paid attention to, inshaAllah.

10.

Say Thank You Be Grateful for Small and Big Things

One of the hadiths that scare me to death is the one that says, The majority of hell is
made up of women who were ungrateful to their husbands. Yikes!
So, say thank you every night to your husband before you go to sleep for anything and
everything that he has done for you. Dont overlook things you have got used to like
him buying groceries, helping out with dishes, listening to your problems or simply going
to work everyday.
Remember the big things and the small things and soon all small things will turn into big
things for you, inshaAllah.
Thank him sincerely: Thank you for helping with the dishes because it really cuts the
time out I have to spend in the kitchen. Rather than simply saying thank you, explain
yourself to him and tell him why its important to you and that you noticed.
He will feel happy that he could help and may make him feel like doing it even more for
you! Most importantly, give thanks to Allah, most Generous, and He will increase your
marriage even more, inshaAllah.

Parting Thoughts
This list is a reminder first to myself before I send them to you. All of these are from
experience of being married for almost three years now. You may agree or disagree, but
these are just some things that have helped the both of us over time.
And, we are always learning and growing and making mistakes, alhamdulillah, its all part of
the journey. Feel free to share more insight or your own tips with us in the comments
below.
InshaAllah, may Allah pour blessing upon blessing into all our marriages! Ameen!