Issue 16

Editor: Sara Hadfield

Editor-In-Chief: Elizabeth Simos
Produced in USSU,
University of Surrey,
Guildford
Est. 2008

FREE

Sabbatical Election Race

Heats Up
In this edition:
E
ntry for sabbatical nominations closed this month Significant changes have been introduced to this year’s
and the race to represent the student voice during election, other than the online voting system. Societies
the next academic year has now officially begun. on campus can now pledge their support and overtly
Voting this year will be conducted using an online system raise awareness of their chosen candidates. However,
Pull - Out! between 15th and 26th March. Read the candidates’
manifestos in this edition of The Stag newspaper and
some students have voiced their concerns over potential
favouritism, particularly in student media, which could
Sabbatical find out more about the hopeful candidates. offer certain candidates an unfair advantage.

Elections The positions available in the election are President, Vice

President for Education, Vice President for Welfare, Vice
Candidates for this year’s elections are LIST NOMINEES
IN ORDER OF POSITION.
2010/2011: President for Societies and Individual Development, and
Vice President for Sport and Recreation. Candidates have Read the candidates’ manifestos in this edition of The
The Manifestos! already begun implementing their marketing strategies,
with some opting for the traditional approach of creating
Stag newspaper.

a Facebook group, while others have declared their by Ben Pook

presence with garishly branded t-shirts.
NEW Technology
Section! Ticket Give Away Fails to Attract
Students to Union AGM
The Science of CSI by Ben Pook the appropriate level of interest differently and there is
no right or wrong level. It’s important to distinguish the
Not even free tickets to Rubix could encourage enough quantity of students not interested in Union affairs if our
students to turn up in time for last month’s Students’ main objective is to improve the situation.
The Seven Union Annual General Meeting. Event organisers were
forced to ask seated students to call close friends and During the questioning of the NUS Delegate nominees,
Golden Rules for plea for additional support as barely over 150 students,
enough required to form an official AGM, accumulated
one student asked, “You’ve all spoken, Ollie especially,
about reporting to students when getting back from
Going to the in Rubix roughly thirty minutes after the event was
suggested to start.
[the] conference. My question is: how are you going to
get students to care? There are over 10,000 students
Cinema The discouraging turnout to one of the most important
at this University and about 150 people here. There is
real student apathy at this University and people don’t
meetings in the Union’s calendar paints a dismal picture care about politics. How the hell are you going to make
of student interest in Union affairs. Important topics, them care about NUS?”
Your Sports including the Union’s decision to maintain its identify
as a charity and manifesto presentations from NUS However, not all of those who failed to attend the
Comments! Delegate nominees, which could have an impact on
every student at the University of Surrey, were open to
AGM are necessarily apathetic and we can’t assume
student apathy is so widespread. Instead, the marketing
discussion and available to vote for or against. What techniques of the Union to advertise the event have to
should have represented an opportunity to accumulate be questioned. Did the Union reach enough students? If
All your regular a considerable portion of the student voice, instead
gathered approximately 1% of the student community.
so, was the correct and most effective message delivered
to our student community? The turnout suggests not.
features! Either students aren’t interested in Union affairs and are Another student asked, “It seems as if we just get to
unable to determine the importance of such an event, know about the representatives when it’s time for the
or those responsible for marketing the AGM failed elections. I’ve been at the University for the past 6 months
Plus much more..! to send the right message to students; allowing our
campus to remain disillusioned by who and what the
now and I’ve never actually seen my representatives,
the same way I actually see them now seeking for our
Union represents. The answer is probably both. vote. So I would like to know what they would do to
Recycle Not all students are expected to share an interest in Union
improve the relationship between the students and
themselves?”
Your Stag! decision-making. Understandably, we all have different
concerns about involvement and most remain unaware of Continued on Page 3...
developments in our Students’ Union. Students perceive

Issue 16 I 8th March 2010 I www.thestagsurrey.co.uk

 Editor’s Letter
Hi Everyone,

Welcome back to another edition of

The Stag!
In this issue...
This fortnight we’ve done things slightly
differently. Along with our usual issue
we also have a special pull – out edition
dedicated to the sabbatical elections
News Pages 3 - 5
2010/2011. Please make sure you
check out the manifestos from the new
candidates and make the right choice Features Pages 6 - 20
for YOUR Union when voting commenc-
es next week. Manifesto Special! Pages 21 - 34
We are also pleased to welcome the Fashion I Page 11
new Technology section in this edition.
Details of how to contribute to this sec- Science I Pages 14 - 15
tion are on our new website at www.
thestagsurrey.co.uk. Please be aware that articles can now be submitted online at Health I Page 19
this address and please make sure you comment on your favourite articles!
NEW Technology I Page 35
Please also take note of all the new section editors’ email addresses as they have all
changed!

With only a few issues left to go until the end of the year we would like you to know
Societies Page 37
that we are accepting submissions for our end of year edition from now until the issue
deadline. If you would like to reserve space in this issue please drop us an email at
ussu.thestag@surrey.ac.uk or email the relevant section editors detailing how much
space you would like.
Arts Pages 41 - 48
So, what’s happened over the past couple of weeks?
Music I Pages 41 - 42
Dance & Theatre I Pages 43 - 44
Go Green Week and Islamic Awareness Week seemed to be a great success. Thank
you to all who supported these societies and I hope you had a great time! Film I Pages 45 - 46
If you’re currently looking for a placement or a graduate job I’m sure you’re very busy Literature I Pages 47 - 48
at the moment so, good luck!

Sara x
I hope you all enjoy the next couple of weeks and we’ll be back with you just before
the Easter break! Sports Pages 49 - 55
Enjoy the issue!

Editor I Sara Hadfield : ussu.thestag@surrey.ac.uk

Deputy Editor (Design) I Position Currently Available : ussu.thestag@surrey.ac.uk
Deputy Editor (Marketing) I Jack McWaters : ussu.thestag@surrey.ac.uk
News I Ben Pook : news@thestagsurrey.co.uk
Features I Mariam Nasir : features@thestagsurrey.co.uk
Science I David Pugh : science@thestagsurrey.co.uk
Technology I Ankur Banerjee : tech@thestagsurrey.co.uk
Societies I Bakita Kasadha : societies@thestagsurrey.co.uk
Music I Mark Allen : music@thestagsurrey.co.uk
Dance & Theatre I Rachel Gildea : dancetheatre@thestagsurrey.co.uk
Literature I Eunice Njagi : literature@thestagsurrey.co.uk
Film I Ollie Sim : film@thestagsurrey.co.uk
Sports I David Holt : sports@thestagsurrey.co.uk
Copy Editor I Ankur Banerjee

The Stag is an editorially independent newspaper and is published by

the University of Surrey Students’ Union.

The views expressed in the paper are those of individual authors and do not necessarily
represent the views of the editorial team, the Students’ Union or the University of Surrey.

Printed by Surrey and Berkshire Media Limited

Stoke Mill House, Woking Road, Guildford, Surrey GU1 1QA

The Stag reserves the right to edit submissions.

Please direct all enquiries to the relevant section editors.
 3
Continued...
Failure to attract a reasonable amount of students is also detrimental
to the value of each vote at important events. Fewer students equates
to a weaker voice. However, even at last month’s AGM, a collection
of students who did turn up was still left confused by a relatively
weak attempt at communicating important information. All relevant
facts were handed out to students in a programme guide. Although,
a minority weren’t offered the booklet, and a significant proportion of
those that were able to collect a programme were forced to digest all
the information within seconds of voting.
These issues will not be resolved unless a more substantial
representation of students attends important Union events, such
as the AGM. The solution should involve an effort to improve the
communication to students, which will distinguish those interested in
Union decision-making, and those not.
The Students’ Union adopted a variety of marketing methods to
encourage students to attend the AGM. For example, details were
available on the Union website and social media applications,
including a Facebook event, were deployed to raise awareness about
the event and convince students about the importance of voting. A
total of four text messages were also sent to students. The Union’s
hard work and determination to attract attendees to the AGM is not in
question. However, whether these methods were effective has to be
partly determined by the small proportion of students in attendance.
Fortunately, enough students did attend the AGM to verify important
changes to our Students’ Union. Attendees passed a vote to maintain
the Union’s position as a charity, as well as adapt the structure of the
organisation for it to become a limited company. The new union will
be called “University of Surrey Students’ Union Ltd”. Find out more
information on this decision at www.thestagsurrey.co.uk.
Watch the full AGM broadcast courtesy MAD TV at http://j.mp/
surreyagm2010 and find out what decisions were made on the future
of our Union.
What ideas do you have? Contact The Stag news team at news@
thestagsurrey.co.uk and share your thoughts.
Ask not what your
country can do for you...
by Jack Palmer
A poll by ComRes, published in The
Independent on Sunday last week threw
up a very worrying statistic, one that has
been depressing me for quite some time.
Asked the question ‘How likely would
you be to vote if there were a general
election tomorrow?’, a whopping 25%
of 18-24 year old responded that they
were certain that they wouldn’t vote,
and overall, 48% of 18-24s said that
they were more likely to not vote than
vote.
This statistic depresses me because
actually, the majority of the 18-24 year
olds that I know are rational, (reasonably)
intelligent, and interested in telling
others their point of view. How is it then
that when it comes to voting, these
same people give up their right to tell our
elected representatives what they think
about the way their country is being run?
Yes, people all across the country have
been switched off politics by years of
feeling cut-off from the political elite,
and more recently due to the expenses
scandal. But in other age groups, the
number of people who are unlikely to
vote is much lower – ranging from 38%
right down to 25%. What makes the 18-
24s so much more apathetic?
Firstly, I would suggest that it isn’t
necessarily a question of apathy. At a
conference I recently attended, one of
the speakers suggested that the rise of
new media activism has had an adverse
effect on traditional party politics. In
the run up to the Copenhagen Climate
us to do something. I don’t think I’ve
met another student who hasn’t written
a deadline-eve essay, no matter how
studious they normally are. I’m really
passionate about enthusing students
to find a passion for politics in one form
or another. And I think as a group, we
need some serious peer-led enthusing.
There are so many students who see
injustice at home and abroad and are
outraged, who get frustrated by greed
and selfishness in the corporate world.
But there is often not someone there to
challenge them to do something about
it. There need to be leaders in our midst
who are able to channel our frustrations
and concerns and help us work them
out and tackle them. There are so many
people who have the talent to do this
– maybe they just don’t know it yet. I
hope that they realise it soon, and have
the courage to take up that challenge
themselves!
As I write this, I’m reminded of a famous
line from John F. Kennedy’s Inauguration

Interested in Change conference last December,

hundreds of thousands of people used
writing for the news team? websites such as 38degrees and Avaaz
to add their voice to campaigns. In the
2008 US Presidential Election, Barack
Obama’s winning campaign relied
heavily on its new media strategy. Are
Share your thoughts on younger people simply finding new ways
of displaying their beliefs, through more
Speech in 1961: “Ask not what your
country can do for you - ask what you
can do for your country.” I wholeheartedly
believe that this election, what young
people need to do for this country is to
stand up and say, “We matter, we care
and we want to be the agenda-setters.”
Now wouldn’t that make it an interesting
election?

student news and events direct and immediate action? Quite

possibly. Many complain that we’re
Not everyone is called to lead. We can’t
do direct democracy in this country – it’s
a generation without patience – 30
on campus in The Stag! seconds is too long to wait for the latest
just not practical. But each and every one
of us has been blessed with an enquiring
download on iTunes, if we’re not in the
mind, which is programmed to question
queue when gig tickets are released,
and analyse. There may not be a party
we’ll never see that band or artist. Whilst
who you can bring yourself to vote for at
Contact this isn’t necessarily a huge problem, it
might be that traditional politics is too
the next election, and that is your choice
to make. But don’t make that choice
news@thestagsurrey.co.uk slow a process for the 18-24 generation,
lumbering and unresponsive to our
until you’ve looked at the options in front
of you, weighed them up, both with your
demands.
for more Secondly, to get away from any
head and with your heart, and come to
an informed decision.

information! suggestions that I’m painting students

and young people as a helpless victim,
Let’s not write off politics just yet, it’s not
quite beyond redemption.
I would suggest that we can be a very
lazy group of people. Sometimes we do
just need a good kick up the arse to get

An interview with the Vice-Chancellor of the University of Surrey
by Ben Pook
Higher Education is the
subject of much debate in
political circles and rarely
before has student politics
had the opportunity to
provoke young people
into caring more about
their academic qualifications. The University of
Surrey is among hundreds of higher education
organisations countrywide in the middle of a
fierce debate over funding which will determine
the academic future of young people studying
in the UK.
In an attempt to clarify the University’s position
on funding, teaching standards and student
experience, News Editor Ben Pook caught up
with our Vice-Chancellor, Professor Christopher
Snowden, in what was a rare opportunity to
determine exactly what’s going on in higher
education and find out a little more about
the man responsible for guiding the University
through these turbulent times
[B] What exactly does being the head of the
University involve?
[VC] I am responsible essentially for all aspects
of life at the University. So, as a starting point,
I’m responsible for the strategy the University
follows. I also have the distinction of being the
most senior academic at the University. I don’t get
a chance of course to do teaching, but I do still
do a little research, and I do help determine the
actual academic subject areas, the standards,
and such like. Also, obviously in the world we
live in today, I’m ultimately responsible for the
finances and the sustainability of the University.
Most recently and topically, we’re looking at
things like environmental sustainability too, so
literally everything one way or another finds its
way to my desk.
[B] What is your academic background?
[VC] I did electronic engineering as my first degree
and I did a PHD in microwave electronics, which
a lot of that lies behind the communications
technology that’s used today around the world.
I spent 22 years as an academic, rising from
lecturer, through senior lecturer to professor;
became head of department, head of school,
so I suppose I’ve done most of those sorts of
jobs. And I’ve understood clearly what it means
to be both a student and a staff member, which
is very helpful.
I’ve also worked overseas, both in universities and
in businesses, and immediately before I came
here, apart from being a part-time professor at
another university, I was also chief-executive of
a multi-national company. And that’s proved
really helpful because in a world where financial
pressures are pretty extreme on universities,
this was the sort of thing I was used to having to
manage when I was running a company. I think
it’s allowed us to put Surrey in perhaps a slightly
stronger position than some other universities
are today. So, by way of background, as you can
see I’m mostly an academic, but with a slice of
businessman in me.
[B] What do you see as the strengths and
success stories of the University?
[VC] Surrey actually has a long heritage of doing
things, the way as I describe it, as relevant
to the world. It goes all the way back to its
roots in Battersea in 1891. And, Surrey has
remained very true to that, so for example we
have extremely good employability, but what lies
behind that is the links the University has with
business and industry [for example] in things
like the professional training year, which I think
so many students do benefit from, and the fact
that we try and do things that are relevant to
the world. We still do this whilst retaining very
strong academic credentials and at the same
time doing some very exciting research. So, I
think to me it’s an ideal sort of university.
Recently we’ve had a lot of successes, our
popularity as a University has dramatically
increased. We’ve got 80% more applications
than we had 5 years ago when I first came here.
Our entrance standards have risen by about
25%. But that’s a good thing too, because it
means Surrey is being successful, if you like,
in academic terms. We’re also doing well in
research terms. Our research income this year
will be close to £30 million, which is pretty
substantial.
We’ve also managed to strengthen the University
so that our dependency on government funds
has decreased. What many people don’t realise
is that Surrey has 25% of its core funding coming
from the Higher Education funding council, so
that’s actually quite a low proportion, and of
course in these troubled times that’s overall
good news because it means any cut in our
funding council grant translates to approximately
25%, so that’s less of an impact. And that’s
been partly deliberate, because if you have a
more diverse funding, you can hopefully cushion
yourself from the ups and downs of the market.
[B] Did you personally foresee cuts and a
different strategy in higher education funding?
[VC] In a nutshell, yes. Having run a business
you do look for how things are going and just as
in the year 2000, the dotcom bubble had burst,
and I think you could see that couldn’t go on
forever. And I have to say, I think the economic
crises that was involved in the world was
inevitably going to wash over into cuts in public
expenditure [and that] was also foreseeable.
So more than 18 months ago we had already
started to plan budgets that took account of
4
this.
We knew there would be cuts, so we took our
steps, not happily I have to say, because we
realised that this would mean having to make
some posts redundant. But it meant from doing
it in a more controlled fashion we were able to
actually reduce that, so for example we’ve only
lost 49 posts so far, whereas you’ll probably read
in the press that there are many universities
losing 3 or 4 hundred posts. Well, we won’t be
in that position. And it’s allowed us to carefully
strengthen other areas.
It’s also meant that doing it in a timely fashion,
we’ve got some areas that are still growing
and are attracting funding. We’ve just recently
advertised 15 new chairs, which will help not
only with the research, but lower staff student
ratios, and that’s one of the things of which I’m
acutely aware; what we offer students both in
undergraduate and postgraduate communities.
We are seeking to still improve that, whilst at the
same time work within the financial constraints
imposed on us.
[B] Despite providing bursaries for families with
lower disposable income, some students paying
higher fees will expect an increase in teaching
standards at university. The dilemma, I think, is
that if the government is reducing the teaching
budget, then it’s putting students at more of
a disadvantage because they will not see the
reward for paying more to attend university.
[VC] The problem we’re dealing with here,
as I say, comes back to the fact we still have
to pay for everything with the money we get.
So if the government pays less, than there’s
clearly pressure for fees to be increased. The
government itself, despite what they say, will be
putting pressure on that to happen. Having said
all that, I think universities do have a role to
play in helping address this. Again, over the last
five years, we’ve put in an enormous amount of
effort in trying to improve the student experience.
It’s not just because the student experience has
become topical but it’s because the University
genuinely believes in it.
For example, we’ve shifted allocation of funding
so that we can actually make greater investment
in many many different aspects. A few years
ago we installed the new laundrette, which
might seem a very practical decision, but a very
important thing to do. We’re building a new
Learning Resource Centre, which is going to be a
new library with new teaching facilities; precisely
because we recognise that’s what students
want to use. Equally, I am concerned about
staff/student ratios, that’s one of the reasons
why we’re looking very carefully at that and it’s
meant in some areas we haven’t increased the
sizes of courses, where we couldn’t increase
the number of staff, but in other areas we are
adding staff members.
 5
Continued...

So, although I was talking about the redundancies earlier, let me say
Twitter Sends NUS ‘Vote for
that in some areas we have actually added significant numbers of staff. Students’ Campaign Worldwide
In your own faculty [School of Management], you’re probably aware
that we’re recruiting another half dozen staff, and in Law we’ve added by Ben Pook
eight or nine. We are trying to improve what we offer, but I agree with
you that it’s a difficult tension because if the money is being cut, that NUS efforts to raise awareness about the importance of higher education
makes it very difficult to do that. But what it means is we’re trying to in this summer’s general election took a considerable leap forward
do things by for example improving processes elsewhere so perhaps we last month, as the topic became the second most discussed Twitter
can spend a little less on administration and more money on delivering conversation in the world. On Thursday 18th February, the hashtag
the actual sort of educational part of that. #voteforstudents was tweeted by academic enthusiasts all over the
country and Twitter users worldwide were exposed to the ‘Vote for
[B] The University has been forced to make cuts in key areas, such as Students’ campaign.
administration, but has senior management also taken the burden of
these cuts? The campaign was created by the National Union of Students (NUS) to
put pressure on members of parliament and force them to come clean
[VC] As I mentioned earlier, it was obvious that there would be pressure about their position on tuition fees. Higher education is a crucial topic for
on finances. What we’ve actually done, over the last few years, is reduce all candidates, along with the wider foreseeable public sector cuts, and
the number of people in the senior management and reshaped it. For the political community is divided in its opinions on tuition fees. NUS is
example, when I came here there were four pro-vice chancellors and utilising the political strength of students, who represent nearly 15% of
we’ve replaced that by two deputy vice-chancellors – admittedly they’re the voting population, to highlight the issue and encourage students to
now full-time. The post for the University secretary has now gone and only vote for candidates willing to fight for a fairer education system.
that [job] has been absorbed now by the registrar. It does mean people
have to work harder of course, because these jobs don’t disappear.

Directors associated with things like associated institutions – we’ve

had to let those posts go. So what we’re trying to do is manage
things better with fewer people. What it means of course is we’ve got
to make sure we develop people well, so we’re investing more effort
in for example leadership and management, which is not something
universities traditionally did. So, hopefully our staff and management
capabilities are getting better. We haven’t really made huge cuts at all
in the academic areas. I talked about the 49 posts, but over the years
there have been very little reductions compared to the administrative
type areas.

[B] I was going to ask you what your favourite show on GU2 is, but I’m
not sure you even listen to it?

[VC] I have actually been along to GU2 and I do occasionally listen to it, Supporters of the campaign used the social media tool Twitter as a
and I think that’s a very good question. Because of the job I do, I sort platform to voice their arguments for introducing a fairer alternative to
of tune in at very odd hours, so the net result is I’m not sure there’s a fees. Sheffield Hallam Students’ Union (@HallamOfficers) highlighted
particular favourite show. I have to say I think it’s a very impressive radio the potential impact of the campaign “Dear Mps and PPCs, if this many
station, so rather than choosing a single show, it interests me enough people are tweeting about #voteforstudents imagine the impact at the
to want to listen to it. It’s impressive and it deserves the awards its ballot box”, while others adopted a more sarcastic approach to sending
won. their message across “The moment I wake up, before I put on my make
up, I #voteforstudents”.
[B] If you could contribute to a column in The Stag newspaper, what
would you write? The sheer reach of this campaign suggests politicians have seemingly
underestimated the impact of our nation’s student voice, an issue the
[VC] I suppose if I was going to write a serious one, I would contribute
NUS wants to resolve “Vote for Students becoming a trending topic
to news articles because I do spend quite a bit of time working with
worldwide shows the difference that students can make when they get
members of the government and also travelling. I often come across
together and make something happen. When it comes to Election Day,
some quite interesting facts, so I think I could probably do that. And
MPs and parliamentary candidates should be clear that this movement
maybe the other thing I would do is have a go at writing a spoof column;
will not vote for them if they do not sign the pledge and come clean on
it’s always nice to have a bit of fun in newspapers too.
fees,” said Susan Nash, NUS Vice President.
[B]...we might have to take you up on that offer, Vice-Chancellor.
Visit www.voteforstudents.co.uk to pledge your support and find out
Read the full interview on The Stag’s new website, www.thestagsurrey. more about the campaign.
co.uk and find out more about the Vice-Chancellor’s views on the future
of the University of Surrey and higher education issues.

news@thestagsurrey.co.uk
 7
Not Really News:
New Website Called ‘Face-Book’ takes Surrey Students by Storm
Female inhabitants reported to have a strange
obsession with clicking images of mirrors
A new joint on the Web of Sites called Face-Book
has taken the Surrey student community by storm.*
‘Face-Book’, as the inhabitants of the joint call is,
claims to ensure that anybody who joins it will “no
longer have a life”. This new-fangled approach
at not having any real friends has made it a hit
with today’s generation. This reporter went along
to Face-Book to investigate and even filled in the
citizenship form they have titled ‘Join Us’, but so
far has not received something Face-Book referred
to as ‘confirmation mail’. It seems that Royal Mail
is responsible for this delay in letter delivery, as
usual.
Meanwhile, sources say that on Face-Book,
inhabitants spend hours telling their imaginary
friends about “What an awesome time I had…
lulz ;)” – all while merely sitting in front of their
computers. A whole range of other exciting activities
can be done too, such as: joining a ‘group’ and
then forgetting about it forever; becoming a ‘fan’
of something without ever knowing what it is; and
‘attending’ or ‘maybe attending’ evens which they
will never go to.
Many inhabitants praise the ease of stalking people
on Face-Book too. Peder File, a long-time user of
Face-Book says, “Earlier I had to spend considerable
amounts of time shivering in the cold and stalking
Westwood
Interviewed by Barney from GU2
Edited by Mariam Nasir and Mark Allen
Barney and Remy from GU2’s Fancy 3 breakfast
show got a chance to chat with Westwood after his
performance at Rubix on Wednesday night.
[Barney] Tim thanks for joining us, after what has
been a quite epic show!
[Westwood] Ah man I had a real good time brother,
I mean we’re just sitting here and you realise how
dirty nightclubs are after everyone’s left. My shoes
are sticking to the floor cos of the beer spillage...
it’s just a mess. It was a good night; we went in,
did what we came to do. It’s one of my favourite
universities, you know what I mean, I love this uni.
This is definitely top 5 for parties for me.
[Barney] What is your ultimate wake-up tune at the
moment?
[Westwood] I probably have a different one each
day but the joint that I am super hyped on at the
moment is by Roscoe Dash and Soulja Boy it’s called
Turned Up man, that joint man, just motivates me
to like get the day started man. I don’t listen to it
every day but I love that joint.
[Barney] Obviously you have influenced the Hip
Hop culture of this country by a huge extent and
people leaving from parties I was never invited to.
Thanks to Face-Book, I can now do that from the
comfort of my own home and j*** o** to pictures
of others having a great time.”
Some inhabitants from Surrey appear to be a bit
discontented though. Jack Schitt, who didn’t wish
to be referred to by name in this article, said, “I
have these ‘friends’ on Face-Book who, like, tell
everyone else what sandwich they’re eating or
retarded videos of some kitten they found doing
nothing but sleep a million times a day. It’s as if
someone had diarrhoea, and needed to let it all out
by keeping on typing out a lot of c**p online.” On
being asked why he didn’t rend his friendship with
such inhabitants he responded that, “I like having
imaginary friends.”
The most bizarre phenomenon though is that the
female inhabitants of the website are obsessed
with taking pictures of mirrors and putting these
up on Face-Book. An example of this is shown for
demonstration purposes. Noted anthropologists
and sociologists across the world have been
baffled as to why millions of such inhabitants of
Face-Book do such things. “Why mirrors? Why not,
say, frying pans? Or watches. Could these mirrors
be portals to another dimension?” mused Aynoted
Soshiolowgyst as he pondered on this mystery. This
reporter urges anyone who might have information
on this phenomenon, including female inhabitants
of Face-Book from Surrey, to come forward and
what I really want to know, Tim, is what got you into
it and what made you think that you want to be part
of this scene.
[Westwood] What happened back in the day is, I
used to be a glass collector in a club, you know
making £10 a night. Then I got an opportunity to get
on the decks and I was their warm up DJ, helping
out with the promotions. And what happened was
that hip hop came along, you know, and I was in a
club DJ-ing as hip hop happened. And you know,
first records came out and the early electro records
came out and off the back of that I could just see
the love of the music and the passion, you know,
so I was, you know, from there blessed to be in a
position be part of it, you know what I mean.
[Barney] I noticed tonight in your set, which was,
once again absolutely fantastic, you played a bit of
Michael Jackson stuff...
[Westwood] Yea, man, I mean, I think you know
any excuse to throw Michael on man.
[Barney] We obviously lost him last year and the
guy, in my opinion, very much influenced the music
we listen to today.
[Westwood] Yea, greatest. The greatest.
[Barney] Do you think that anybody will take it to
the extent that he ever did?
[Westwood] Nah, I think that you have to understand
about Michael, he doesn’t come around like once
solve this global
conundrum. Any
informants will
receive a reward,
of course.
Technology might
have played a role
in making huge
narcissists out of
everyone, but there
are darker aspects
of this web-site
too. Watch out for
inhabitants who
try to ‘recruit you
in their mafia’ or
‘grow weed in their
farm’ – and report them to the nearest police
authorities for carrying out these illegal activities.
This reporter wishes to warn readers to exercise
due caution when trying to take up citizenship at
Face-Book.
* Please note that ‘taken by storm’ is not the same
as ‘taken by Stormtroopers’. Apples and cloned
fighters here, people.
by Anon Y Mouse
in a lifetime, he only comes around once. So there
will never be a person like Michael so he only comes
around once and we were just blessed enough to
be alive when he came around. Yea, I think there’s
people who have been heavily influenced by Michael
like Usher, Justin Timberlake, Chris Brown but as
great as artists as they are, nobody can dance like
an angel, sing like an angel. Do you know what I
mean, tremendous loss man, and you know I think
it got confusing with Michael with all the other stuff
going on but as an artist, you know.
[Barney] What is the most ridiculous thing at these
student gigs you’ve seen?
[Westwood] Everyone is cool man, like students
have a lot of swagger nowadays, you know what I
mean. Students you know they’re the forefront of
the music, in my opinion; they’re paying attention to
what’s online... so these student gigs are serious.
Bit of snogging on the dance floor earlier. Some
crazy dressing.
 8
"You Know What
Really Grinds My Gears?..” :
Friendly Prices Please,
Being Short Amigo!
by Bakita Kasadha
by Bakita Kasadha
University of Surrey students, in their hundreds, want to know why their new on-campus
Anyone who said “aw”- shut it and for those of you convenience shop has been allowed to overcharge.
who were about to - please refrain.
The academic year 2009/10 saw the end of OneStop’s reign and the opening of Amigo and
So I guess you’ll be wanting an explanation? Seeing as with it a 10 year contract - but this change has not been welcomed by some students.
it’s the magic number, I shall give you three reasons.
This article has been inspired by many Facebook groups but in particular the facebook group,
Firstly, how is it that when I’m standing at a bar waiting Either Force Amigo to Charge Fairly or Get Rid of Them. This Facebook group states that, ‘the
to be served, everyone around me gets served first new shop on campus is a deliberate attempt to disregard the welfare of students’. It goes
even though I was there first? on to claim that the shop overcharges by about 30-40% than other mainstream shops. So
instead of just relying on their figures, I decided to find out for myself:
Secondly, people think I’m 16 (sometimes younger
if we’re gonna be honest). Bouncers examine my  
Items (Every day goods)
provisional as if they think that it will just admit, “yes,
ok, I’m a fake, you got me… go you!” I was once Diet Coke Ham Mccoy’s Chewing
asked if I was over 14 to go into a swimming pool (this Sandwich Crisps Gum
was only last year).
Amigo £1.10 £2.35 £0.59 £0.46
But can I just say that when I’m 60 looking like I’m
N/A (Sold in
45 (God willing the baby face will forever remain and Tesco £0.99p £1.50 £0.36
I don’t have a sudden middle age growth spurt) I’m multi-pack)
gonna look amazing and yes I do intend to make Vending
everyone aware of the fact that the tables have indeed Machine £1 N/A £0.60 N/A
turned.  
Union Shop £1.05 £0. 58 £0.35
Finally, things are just more difficult to reach… bad
times! From these figures it shows that, on average, Amigo is 31.8% more expensive than Tesco. So
what can the university realistically do about it?
Actually can I add a fourth? People find the need to
baby me. This has resulted in the development of a “We can’t actually force Amigo to lower their prices,” VP Welfare Malcolm Hunt states. “We
short person’s syndrome. So for any of you who say I’m have to remember that whilst the Union shop is owned by the Union and has a vested
a straight-talking, rude… so and so, you’ve brought it interested in not charging its students ridiculous amounts, Amigo does not. They are indeed
upon yourselves! But this year, I’m quite proud to say, a private business.”
it struck me that I have found a way to avoid being
Commercial Manager, Ben McCauley states: “If you want lower prices then come to the Union
taunted. It seems that my close Surrey friends are all shop.” After I suggested that there is a limited choice at the Union Shop he went on to add
around the same height as me. Yes, my height is the that, “We plan to expand in the summer; offering students far more choice.”
average of the group! LOL.
In October, the Students’ Union reported that their basket price was 7.6% cheaper saving
Actually, now I realise it’s not so much being short students a total of £1.44; just a fortnight ago they recalculated their prices and found that
that grinds my gears but people alerting me to the the Union Shop was still 4.58% lower than Amigo; saving 90p per basket.
fact; because it’s not like I’ve been living in my own
body for 20 years or anything! But as I’ve said, the Yes Amigo does overcharge but there is always the Union Shop. Granted it does not have
the same amount of choice but it definitely has friendlier prices and will be expanding in the
tables will turn. I will get the last laugh.
summer. In the mean time, there is the shop which claims that ‘every little helps’ and it is a
I swear that I’m not a moany mare all the time; it just 5/10 minute walk away from campus.
really “Grinds My Gears”. If you really want to force Amigo’s hand, then actions speak louder than words or joining
Facebook groups (because let’s face it, the owners probably are not checking them)! They
Sorry, I can’t offer useful information on how to be/
will not maintain these prices if they have no-one to serve. Please note The Stag is in no way
handle being short; maybe the Health Centre offers suggesting a boycott - it is just common sense!
counselling for this sort of thing.

features@thestagsurrey.co.uk
9
Travel
by Elizabeth Pettigrew
For this week’s article, I couldn’t figure out which country
to write about. But last night I decided to chill and watch a
Disney film, UP. It is an amazing film. Honestly if you haven’t
seen it, go see it. It has everything you want in a good movie
including the most emotional montage ever. If you have a
heart you’ll cry your eyes out. Anyway, in UP, Mr.Fredrickson
decides to venture to a place called ‘Paradise Falls’. Although
it seems quite fictional due to the talking dogs and rainbow
flamingo looking bird, it is actually based on a real place in
Venezuela known as Angel Falls. It is actually the world’s
highest waterfall and the Indians call it Kerepakupai merú
which means “waterfall of the deepest place”. So anyway
this then motivated me to write about Venezuela.
Ever since Hugo Chavez was elected president in 1988, the
countries capital Caracas hasn’t been the most beautiful
place. In fact it’s a little scary. And dangerous. However
it all depends on where you go obviously. In fact the first
time I went to Venezuela, I stayed for two weeks and the
second day I caught some crazy flu going around and spent
one of those two weeks in bed. In some piece of shit tiny
apartment with ghetto music blaring in from the disco
across the street, sharing a bunk bed with my brother who
was also very ill, and watching re-runs of Dawson’s Creek.
Effin awesome.
Obviously this description doesn’t sound very appealing.
But it was all part of the experience. And actually Outside
Caracas, Venezuela is one of the most beautiful countries
I’ve ever been to, with the friendliest, warmest, funniest
people. They are the most welcoming and happiest people
you will encounter. Every family you meet treats you like
you’re a part of it. But the people aren’t the only good thing
about the country, the food is delicious too. You HAVE to
eat arepas, cachitos de jamon, platanos and empanadas.
Get all this food and hit the beach. Or the rainforest, and
just chill and pig out. Its amazing. They also have this soft
drink that’s strictly South American and they don’t see it
anywhere else. (Except for Miami cause the latinos bring it
and sell it). It’s called Fres Colita. I can’t even describe it
because it’s so distinct and awesome.
Anyway, Venezuela is known around the world for its
Presidents distinct foreign policy and for the King of Spain
telling him in a conference, and I quote ‘Why don’t you just
shut up?’ AND Venezuela won Miss Universe last year. But
there is so much more to Venezuela.
Venezuela has the longest stretch of Caribbean coastline
to be found in any single nation, the steamy Amazon with
piranhas and anacondas and of course, Salto Angel. So
if you feel like having a hot latin romance, dancing salsa
on the beach under a star lit sky and feeling the cool
Caribbean breeze on your face, whilst drinking a Corona, go
to Venezuela. Explore the Amazon looking for adventure and
probably not finding any because it’s highly dangerous so
you’d probably need a guide with no teeth and a shitty rifle,
but that in itself I guess is an adventure. SO do it, go have
an adventure. As Edward Gibbon stated in 1974, ‘According
to the law of custom, and perhaps of reason, foreign travel
completes the education of an English gentleman’
Televised Debates on ITV 1,
why not on Nuts TV as well?
by David Williams
New to 2010 are televised debates by the leaders of the three main political parties.
This story broke sometime in December and caused a slight flutter in the media before
being dropped in favour of dedicating 24 hour rolling news coverage to snow. At the
time, and most likely to emerge again in the near future, the exclusion of smaller parties
was a sore point for the likes of the Scottish Nationalist Party, The Green Party and the
BNP. The Scottish Nationalist Party pointed out that, being the third largest party in
Scotland, exclusion from such a debate would be giving an unfair advantage to its closest
rival Labour. The Greens made a similar point while the BNP, who live in a constant fit
of unspecified rage and are attracted to shiny colourful objects and loud noises, also
squawked about the lack of coverage (although not too loudly with the memory of Nick
Griffins appalling question time appearance still a little too fresh). The exclusion of these
smaller parties has been justified by the fact they have no conceivable chance of winning
the next general election. So why Nick Clegg has been invited is a mystery.
With minor parties making a fuss that they’ve not been invited to debate it’s a surprise
minor TV channels aren’t doing the same.  BBC 3 could do a special snog, marry, avoid,
with extra emphasis on the word avoid. Late night soft core debates on Channel 5 with
a half-naked David Cameron rubbing his nipples and talking about quantitative easing.
Possibly a Nuts TV debate based around the bloke’s holy trinity: football, sex and fast
cars. Something along the lines of which footballers car would you most like to have
sex with a supermodel in to which any answer other than John Terry’s Land Rover is
disqualified.
These debates will be broadcast on the BBC, ITV and Sky One. ITV 1 of course not being
known for its hard-hitting political programming; with Piers Morgan’s drooling flaccid
interviews, Coronation Street and Take Me Out tying for flagship status. Personally I’m
all for swapping David Dimbleby for Ant and Dec and basing my vote entirely on which
party leader can eat the most termites in under a minute. Frankly though unless Amanda
Holden runs on, forehead taught with botoxed emotion and hugs a sobbing Nick Clegg
average ITV audience are unlikely to be interested. Then again different formats may be
something to explore...
Cilla:
Are you ready duck? Well let’s play blind vote
Charlene:
Contestant number 1, I love it when my man takes me out. If I vote for you what romantic
dinner will we go out for?
Cameron:
I’ll be straight with you; drastic cuts will have to be made in relation to dinner and we’re
the party brave enough and honest enough to make these cuts. We’re facing harsh times
and some of our treasured public services, such as dinners, need to be cut back on to
secure our future.
Charlene:
Er...where would you take me?
Cameron:
Oh, I don’t know, on my yacht or something
Charlene:
Same question to contestant number 2, what would we be having for dinner?
Brown:
Gruel
 10
I still sleep on the right side of the white noise,
Can’t leave the scene behind
“I heard a joke once. Man goes to doctor, says he's depressed, life
seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world. Someone once said there
Doctor says, "Treatment is simple. The great clown Pagliacci is in town is little difference be-
tonight. Go see him. That should pick you up." Man bursts into tears. tween solitude and lone-
Says, "But doctor... I am Pagliacci." Rorschach - Watchmen liness, to be alone when
everyone leaves you is
When I first read that quote I remember laughing at the irony of the loneliness, but when you
greatest clown in the world being depressed, how long you’d have to leave them behind it’s
work at something to be the greatest only to realise after that doctor’s solitude, and there can
interview you probably wouldn’t want to do it anymore. Now some would only be a form of glory
say I missed the point, that the joke is really about the irony of a clown from solitude.
being prescribed his own show to cure his depression, but I’m not so
sure. You see the other day I found myself in Pagliacci’s shoes, and I So is it too late for us?
could see why he would be so close to tears. Are we already that place
of blurry faces and closed
That day I walked onto campus and for the first time in a long time I hearts? I don’t really believe so. I think the greatest mistake the lonely
didn’t feel right. It was not tiredness or a state of boredom, but more of make is believing they are alone. Everyone is alone at times; it’s part
an unease. The best way I could describe the feeling would be to liken of the great human condition. But I do think whoever made the previ-
it to a person playing a game of chess, they look away for a moment, ous statement is wrong, there is no glory in solitude, no valour in the
and when they turn back the whole board is different. The pieces are shadows, and those who look for it there will be disappointed. Because
all still there but the picture has changed. I hear it’s not uncommon once you drown out all the background noise and shut off all the lights
to feel that way, like you’ve turned away from everything for a moment of presence all you’re left with are the echoes and the darkness. And
and suddenly you’re wandering around on an alien planet, or some maybe hearing it out loud makes little difference but the fact remains,
world separate from your own, drifting in the silence whilst the faces of there will be a way forward. Some people are alone longer than others
everyone around you look blurred and unknown. In my opinion part of but that doesn’t mean it will always be that way. And if all that’s needed
the problem is that nothing seems concrete anymore, doesn’t matter if is something as simple as a reminder of light heartedness to bring the
it’s friendships, future careers or your plans for the weekend. Everything colour back, I’ll see what I can do.
can change and when it does you find yourself questioning the begin-
ning, and if it’s all really worth it when everything can shift perspective “When so many are lonely as seem to be lonely, it would be inexcusably
so quickly. This of course in turn leads to the horrible possibility that if selfish to be lonely alone” Tennessee Williams.
everyone does feel that way then you have a place full of people and
everyone knows no one. Campus Boy

WIN!
Tickets to Beach Break Live...
Only in the next editon of The Stag out on the 22nd March!
11
13
 David Pugh, your friendly neighbourhood Science Editor, is currently in training to run six miles (approximately
14
10km). Further than he has ever run in his whole life put together! He is braving the cold, moist, dark, horrible
conditions of the Guildford roads every morning to train and raise money for Sport Relief, helping some of the
most needy people in the UK and Africa. He will be running on March 21st, from Surrey Sports Park, please
sponsor him and brighten up his day at mysportrelief.com/davidpugh your donation will give a dangerously
unfit individual a bit more motivation in his daily battle with the carbs! Thank you!

The Science
of Advertising THE Careers Day
Tourism • Hospitality • Events
by Sophie Bryant
Wednesday 24 March 2010
“What are you studying?” 1pm - 2pm, THE Careers Talks, Lecture Theatre Block
“Physics” 2pm - 4pm, THE Careers Fair, Lecture Theatre Block
“...Wow.”

Anybody studying science will know that the subject is revered as a

mysterious all-knowing power by those with less knowledge on it. This is
highly debatable, particularly based on some of the ChemSoc pub crawls,
but does provide a nice little ego boost from time to time. This perceived
pedestal has, however, led to a strange kind of exploitation of the subject
as a way to sell anything and everything.

From your morning coffee to brushing your teeth at night, every product
we buy seems to feel the need to back itself up with scientific sounding
claims. Are they necessary? Are they true? What do half of them even
mean?

More than a few of the products in your bathroom will claim to be

‘dermatologically tested’, but this fancy sounding word could have very
little value. There are no set tests or standards products must comply
with in order to put this on their packaging, so it’s impossible to tell which
have undergone more stringent testing into the effects of the product on
human skin.

Not all claims are so unregulated though; the ‘probiotic’ label recognisable
from a range of dairy products has a whole paper by the World Health
Organisation on its proper useage. This includes requirements on naming
For further information, please contact:
the species of bacteria used, the numbers of it live in the product at ussu.tourism@surrey.ac.uk
time of sale, and strict guidelines on the type of testing it must undergo Jointly organised by:
to check it does give the consumer health benefits. The Food Standards The Tourism Society • Division of Hospitality and Tourism Management • Careers Service • Surrey Tourism and Events Society

Agency also holds a list of strains of bacteria used in food, their health
benefits, and references of studies that support them. This is fantastic 7KH&DUHHUV'D\3RVWHULQGG 

work, as consumers know that the label is given deservedly, and can even look up themselves the finer details. So why aren’t all ‘scientific’ claims regulated
like this?

Another amazing find at the Food Standards Agency website is a 550-page document listing a range of plant substances found in scientific trials “to have no
known medicinal benefits”. These include a range of plants that have been cited for supposed benefits on a range of products, such as Yarrow for appetite
suppression, onions as a source of antioxidants, garlic for a healthy heart and asparagus roots to boost immunity. Many of these are cited as being “good for
you” and some are even sold as supplements in a handy tablet form, but there really is no scientific backing to say they work!

This isn’t to say, however, that all scientific sounding words in adverts are false. Antioxidants is a term bandied about so readily it could be easy to ignore
as another marketing ploy, but this is a real chemical term. Antioxidant molecules “scavenge” free radicals in the body, high energy molecules which could
potentially cause cancer by damaging DNA. So they do exist, but do any of the adverts explain why they are important or if they can actually be absorbed by
the body from their particular product?

Double check the science behind the next advert you feel drawn in by. It doesn’t take long to look up what the substance they mention is (if it exists…) and
what its proven benefits are, if any – it could save you a lot of money. After all, just because somebody in a white coat tells you so, it doesn’t mean it’s true.

science@thestagsurrey.co.uk
 15
by David Pugh
The Science of CSI
It starts with a lacklustre shot of Las Vegas Boulevard
from the sky as The Who kick off with the opening to
“Who Are You?” As the song continues, we watch as
Americans do exciting things such as looking down
a microscope, flash torches, cross those “POLICE
DO NOT CROSS” barriers and exploding apples. If
you haven’t guessed yet, I’m talking about CSI, the
hit US drama, watched by over 50 million people
every week worldwide. A show so successful it has
led to the introduction of 50 new forensic science
undergraduate courses across the UK.
Before we look at some of the techniques used by
the programme and real life CSI’s I just need to
clear a few things up.
CSI is NOT a true representation of forensic science.
Real life CSI or SOCO’s (Scenes Of Crimes Officers)
do not all have snappy one liners, designer Ray-
Bans, fast cars, expensive suits or a buff physique.
They do not solve the whole crime themselves, and
they rarely solve a case in 45 minutes. In reality,
Gil Grissom’s work is done by nearly 100 different
people, with skills ranging from blood analysis to
forensic accounting. There is no magic machine
that you can put a bit of blood into and it will tell
you who did it, when they did it, how they did it,
and whom they were doing it with. Solving a crime
is a painstaking process requiring hundreds of man-
hours of work, repeat tests, reporting of results and
repeat tests.
No one hoping to pursue a career in forensics really
should be on a forensic course (if you’re reading
this, you’re probably a Surrey student, and there
isn’t a full undergraduate course in forensics, so
I wouldn’t worry too much). The Forensic Science
Service, the UK’s largest forensic provider state
that;
“The traditional academic route followed by a
would-be forensic scientist has been to pursue a
primary (bachelor’s) degree in a general-science
subject such as chemistry or biology, followed by
a suitable postgraduate course or some type of in-
service training.”
So let’s have a look at some of the things Detective
Mac Taylor does on an average day in the office.
Fingerprints
When you sweat, a sticky, fatty residue deposits in the
ridges on your fingers and when you touch surfaces,
this fatty residue sticks to that. The boffins in the
lab claim that the likely hood of two people having
the same set of prints is as someone else is millions
to one. (They can’t confirm this fact as they haven’t
checked everyone, yet.) Prints can be removed
from a surface by staining, then using sticky tape.
Prints are then analysed using the National
Automated Fingerprint Identification System
(NAFIS), this supercomputer contains over 6 million
sets of prints, and analyses them by looking the
10 different points on the print, and matching their
characteristics.
DNA
Deoxyribonucleic acid is what makes you different
from everyone else on the planet; everyone’s DNA
is different (unless you are an identical twin). DNA
is your bodies’ blueprint for building all the cells in
your body. You can find DNA in hair, blood, semen,
saliva or bit of skin fragment. DNA is commonly
analysed by using enzymes to cut it up into a
thousand little bits; since DNA only varies by 0.1%
from person to person, this isn’t that surprising.
The little bit that makes us all different is put into a
gel, radioactive markers called probes are attached
to the separated DNA strands and all the different
bits separate out based on these probes. We
transfer these bits onto a piece of nylon and the DNA
forms a unique pattern, which you can compare
with other DNA samples taken from suspects. This
pattern is a bit like a bar code, as you can see in
the picture, it’s all a bit confusing and takes a long
time to determine if your suspects DNA is the same
as the one taken from the scene.
The UK has what is largely regarded as the best
DNA database in the world, the police take DNA
from suspects for all manner of crimes, and there
is much debate about whether this should be done,
or whether it is an invasion of privacy.
Firearms
Welsh rapping contingent Goldie Looking Chain
once proclaimed, “Guns don’t kill people, rappers
do” This is incorrect; guns most definitely do kill
people, you shoot someone, they usually die. CSIs
know this, and they use it to their advantage. Often
the bullet used to kill someone will remain in their
body, police can use this and it can tell them the
type of gun used, from its weight, and often give
clues to the gun used. When a cartridge is fired,
minor scratches on the inside of the barrel rotate
the bullet. This leaves scratches on the bullet,
which are unique to the gun that fired it.
The most useful piece of evidence we have though
is something called Gun Shot Residue (GSR). When
a trigger is pulled, the bullet is fired, but so is some
secondary material, this is partially combusted or
unburnt propellant. This shoots out in all directions
and is almost too small to see, it gets on hands,
clothes and even in hair, not to mention on the
object you’re trying to shoot and the surrounding
environment. Traces are picked up with a sticky
tab, and scientists use a machine called a scanning
electron microscope; this is a super high-resolution
camera, which takes a picture of the surface, a
process called Energy-dispersive X-ray spectroscopy
(EDX) which tells you what elements are in the
sample.
This is a highly advanced and useful technique used
in almost all cases. The murder of newsreader Jill
Dando in 1999 used evidence based on GSR to
commit Barry George to life imprisonment, based
on one spec of suspected gunshot residue in this
coat pocket. George was acquitted in 2008, as
other evidence suggested him not responsible for
Jill Dando’s murder.
Obviously if this was CSI, I would have added
several witty puns, couple of wide shots of a city
and a reconstruction here and there, but you get
the gist.
The most important sentence you will ever hear in
forensic science is known as Locard’s principle:
“Every contact leaves a trace”
There is a way to solve a case, you just need to
find it.
Forensic science is a broad field full of mystery and
intrigue, if you think you could be the next Horatio
Caine, why not go to CSI Saturday, part of iFestival
on Saturday 13th March. You will get the opportunity
to take fingerprints, analyse gunshots, execute the
perfect one-liner and solve a murder on campus.
Tickets are £4, available from the bookshop.
 Stationery and cards

Fairtrade gifts

University Souvenirs

Branded University Clothing

T: 01483
Lunchtime Meal Deals, Snacks689169
and Drinks
E : bookshop@surrey.ac.uk
www.ussu.co.uk/bookshop
www.surrey.ac.uk/bookshop
Friendly staff will help you find what
you are looking for

Opening Hours:
Monday to Friday
Opening Hours 8.30am - 6pm
Monday to Friday Stationery and cards
8.30am - 6pm
Fairtrade gifts
T: 01483 689169 Stationery & cards
University Souvenirs
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E:bookshop@surrey.ac.uk Souvenirs
Branded University Clothing
Branded Clothing
www.ussu.co.uk/bookshop Lunchtime Meal Deals
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www.surrey.ac.uk/bookshop Snacks and Drinks
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Event tickets
Friendly staff will help you find what
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Opening Hours:
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8.30am - 6pm
 18
This Week in Welfare...
It’s cold, it’s wet, the skies are grey. it’s great if you go running, swimming, walk-
This is where you come in. ing or whatever other physical activities float
Question, where in the world would you least your boat, they’re all healthy after all, but it’s
like to be? Top 3. The Students’ Union is looking to collect not my job to deal with your sports issues.
all your communal woes into one report to
OK, I’ve already realised this is going to fail present to the University and Arriva. This way I have however received a lot of comments
to prove my point. In fact I’d hate to be any- the failures of the service can be recognised about the Sports Park, the 2 weeks you’ll
where in the vicinity of a large angry creature and improved upon. have to wait for it after UniSport closes, and
with sharp teeth. Even worse I’d hate to be the ever later opening date. Consequently
near a re-incarnation of my sister when she But how are we going to do this? I’m going to take this opportunity to have
was 12, or anything that ever involved Jade your feelings heard. If you have any thoughts
Goody. Well, flying in, cape billowing in the wind is about the late opening of the Surry Sports
the Union’s new technological superhero – Park email Chris Moffat, VP Sports, at ussu.
But I can do little about these things. the SMS text service! Ever wanted to be able sports@surrey.ac.uk and let him know what
to contact the Union more quickly and easily you think! Otherwise email me and I’ll pass
Conversely, I can do something about busses. than ever before? Of course you have! And the message on!
I can be pretty darn sure I wouldn’t like to be now you can! It’s as simple as whipping out
waiting at a bus stop on a cold, wet day – so your phone and bashing away just like you Hope everything is going well; Summer is on
let’s concentrate on that for now. were texting your mates. its way!
So if you’re waiting for a bus in Manor Park
After a brief improvement in large automobile or on campus and you’re not happy with the Until next week...
transportation at the start of the year com- service you’re receiving simply look up the
plaints have begun to slip back into my day number on one of the white posters stuck to Malcolm Hunt
to day business as VP Welfare. It seems that the bus stop and text me your feelings! Eve- Vice President Welfare, Students’ Union
not only are busses turning up late now and rything you text comes straight to my email ussu.welfare@surrey.ac.uk
again but passengers are also experiencing account ready to be compiled into a report
rude drivers and inconsistent route layouts over Easter! Moment of the week: March marked the
from time to time. start of campaigning for this year’s Sabbati-
And you know where you can go on the (hope- cal elections! We’ve already seen the start of
Considering the University pay a large amount fully) far better bus service after Easter? campaigning, look out for more to come!
of money for this service it’s really quite an-
noying that it’s causing such a level of dis- Yes, that’s right, the all new Surrey Sports Tip of the week: I’ve seen the amazing plans
tress. Manor Park already has to cope with Park! for this year’s iFestival. Look out for all the
being further away from lectures and other events coming up!
campus facilities without being further cut off Now at this point I should take a moment to
due to poor transport links. remind you all I’m a Welfare officer. It think

Would you like to write a regular feature for

The Stag?

Enquire online at www.thestagsurrey.co.uk

Or get in touch via email at

ussu.thestag@surrey.ac.uk
 19
19
Turkey
Burgers
Ingredients:
1lb extra lean
minced turkey

Smoking statistics your skin will be looking brighter as your circulation 1 small onion
improves.
Did you know…
Look younger for longer 3 small courgettes
• There are about 9.4 million* smokers in UK - grated
that is about a sixth of total UK population Quitting smoking can help you avoid premature ageing.

• Smoking is highest among 20-24 year olds - Improved fitness 1 teaspoon soy
32% of men and 30% of women smoke
Your energy levels will soon soar when you quit smoking, sauce
• Two-thirds of smokers start before age 18. making it easier to run for the bus or play sports with
your friends.
• Smoking rates are markedly higher among 1 level teaspoon
poorer people. In 2006, 16% of men in higher A better sense of taste and smell grated fresh root
managerial occupations smoked, compared
with 29% in routine occupations Rediscover the taste of your favourite foods as your ginger
taste buds kick in.
*Figures from General Household Survey 2007 and
Northern Ireland data 2007-8 More time 1 egg yolk
Break free and reward yourself It takes about ten minutes to smoke a cigarette, so a
ten-a-day smoker can save nearly two hours a day when Salt and pepper
The financial benefits of stopping soon add up. they quit. Over the course of a year, you can claim back
a month of lost time!
1 day = £6 A movie rental or a few magazines Method:
Improve self confidence Mix all ingredients,
1 week = £42 Shoes, facial or DVDs, paintballing, a
Many smokers are shocked to find how quickly they divide into 4 and
day at the races get hooked on smoking. Stopping is real achievement shape mixture into
and can give you a real boost in confidence and self-
1 month = £182 A shopping spree or premiership esteem. burgers.
football tickets, a day rally driving Whiter teeth
Preheat grill on me-
1 year = £2,184 New kitchen, designer jewellery, a No matter how often you visit the dentist, you’ll find it dium, cook for 6-7
impossible to maintain white teeth
car or a luxury leather suite minutes each side
Ready to break free?
until thoroughly
For more information and to join our stop smoking cooked.
By quitting you’ll have a healthier lifestyle and your purse service contact Student Health Care on
or wallet will also thank you. But there are loads of other
plusses too … T: 01483 689051 or E: studenthealthcare@surrey.
Better looking skin, eyes and hair
ac.uk Serve with salad,
pita or vegetables
Within days of stopping smoking your hair won’t smell
of stale smoke, your eyes will be less red and sore and

Chat Health!
Trouble sleeping? Anxious about exams? Worried about STIs? Want to know how alcohol can be affecting your mood?
Want to know more about Cannabis? Want to lose weight? Need nutrition information? Then mail in your questions all in
confidence to studenthealthcare@surrey.ac.uk to CHAT HEALTH for your reply in each edition of The Stag.
 21
Ask Angelique Anything.....
I’m trying so
hard!
Hi Angelique,
Lately I’ve been trying to find
ways to stay healthy and not
eat crap but it’s so hard with
all the food that they offer on
campus, Starbucks, Uni K, Piz-
zaman, Young’s Kitchen, Ami-
gos, its just never ending. I’m
constantly finding myself crav-
ing a burger or kebab. I have
a gym membership as well but
there are only so many times
you can go to the gym without
hurting every muscle in your
body. Any advice?
Hayley
Hi Haley,
There are lots of things on cam-
pus you can do to keep fit. They
have a variety of classes at Un-
iSport that you can take part in
and enjoy. Yes I have to agree
there are lots of places to eat
and most providing unhealthy
food, but you still have a few
healthy options, its just mak-
ing the right choice Hillside is
a good place to start, as well
as Channies as they both pro-
vide healthy food options. Make
sure you’re eating healthily and
not starving yourself as its im-
portant that you provide your
body with the right vitamins. If
you want more advice visit the
health centre I’m sure they’d be
happy to help.
Angelique x
Need someone to talk to? Get it off your chest
Ask Angelique Anything.....
Email: askangeliqueanything@gmail.com
20
Get it off your chest
I think I have an STD!
Hey Angelique, Hey Confused,
This is a bit embarrassing but I think I have an Firstly it’s really important that you go to the doctors and talk to
STD. I haven’t been sleeping around with guys or them, as much as you might hate it, this is about your health
anything but I did have sex with someone lately and excuses about what people will think of you are of minimal
and I’m guessing that it has something to do importance at the moment. Assuming that you are on campus,
with that. I’m not really sure how to go about it. there is a student health center just around the corner from the
I don’t want to go to the doctors cause everyone Duke of Kent Building, towards the path you walk to go into town.
in there will automatically assume I’m pregnant No one will judge you there. Also talk to the guy you slept with
or something, I hate the doctors. Is there some- and let him know that he may also have an STD. It not my place
thing I could use to make it go away? to prescribe anything to you as I am not a doctor and for the best
results I suggest you go to them. Other than that don’t panic and
Confused x I hope you are enjoying the sunny weather.
Angelique x
Health Care Services response:
Dear Confused
Angelique is right, your health is the most important thing to consider. If you do have a sexually transmitted infection,
ignoring it could lead to long term problems like pelvic inflammatory disease and infertility. You will never shock a doc-
tor or a nurse, they have seen and heard it all, what is important is your health. You can come to Student Health Care,
next to the health centre, to have a chat with one of the nurses who will direct you to the right place or advise you, all
conversations are confidential. All visits to the local sexual health clinic, Farnham Road GUM are free and confidential.
Call us on 01483 689051 or ext 2072 or contact us on studenthealthcare@surrey
For more information and advice see this website
http://www.thesite.org/sexandrelationships/safersex/sexualhealth/haveigotansti
He found out I like him but now I don’t feel the same
Hi Angelique,
I have a little dilemma about a boy. I used to like this guy J a lot. In lectures I would just sit there and stare at
him, my eyes would always focus on him when he walked in and I just couldn’t manage to get him off my mind.
Then one of my friends told one of his friends that I like him and he found out. Turns out he seems to like me
too but once I found that out I automatically went off of him, is there something wrong with me?
Thanks,
Kaylee
Hey Kaylee,
No of course there’s nothing wrong with you, sometimes the novelty of liking someone just wears off. Maybe it
was the chase you liked and now that you don’t have to chase him anymore, there isn’t really anything interest-
ing about it. I wouldn’t worry about it. If you feel like you don’t want to get in a relationship with this guy then
don’t, just take it easy and try not to lead him on. Good Luck
Angelique x
Useful Websites:
www.connexions-direct.com
General advice
www.talktofrank.com
Drug advice
www.childline.org.uk
Self harm and Abuse advice
www.sextalk.org
Sexual health advice
Special Edition
Editor: Sara Hadfield
Editor-In-Chief: Elizabeth Simos
Produced in USSU,
University of Surrey,
Guildford
Est. 2008

FREE

Sabbatical Elections
2010/2011

Read the Manifestos

NOW! In this manifesto special:

Read all the candidates’ manifestos and make
the right choice for YOUR Union!
Recycle
Special Edition I 8th March 2010 I www.thestagsurrey.co.uk
Your Stag!
All voting is now online
vote.ussu.co.uk
Voting runs from
Monday 15th March
Friday 26th March
23

President
Candidate Name : Alex Chalikiopoulos
Position : USSU President
Personal Statement.
I am a final year Business Economics with Finance student and will be running to be your Union President in this year’s
student’s union election. I believe that the combination of an equally active academic and social life has enhanced my
understanding of what University is all about. Throughout my time here I have been able to interact with a variety of people and
this has enabled me to observe and take on board what it is that you want out of your time at university. If elected, I obviously
aim not only to achieve the objectives set out below, but to identify evolving issues set out by you, act upon these and rectify
the negative aspects of your university experience whilst upholding the positive ones.

Why me? VOTE FOR ALEX : VOTE FOR YOUR UNION : VOTE FOR YOUR VOICE

x I am completely approachable, well rounded, open-minded, but also serious about what the position entails.
x Valuable knowledge of an office environment, completing tasks punctually & making decisions when the consequences are not solely limited to me.
x Lived the whole university experience, with an excellent academic record, completion of a placement year & involvement in a range of social activities.
x Having experienced diverse cultures & been brought up in an international environment, I know I’ll be able to represent the student population as a whole.

Key Objectives.

1. Enhance Communication & Accessibility - A stronger
student voice can only be amplified through direct communication with
the University union. There would be no better way than to put policies
in place that increase the ease to which students can approach me and
discuss further issues concerned with USSU. I vow to create extra
weekly sessions (aside my office hours) for students willing to just
come by and discuss certain issues. In addition, I will not only be living
on campus but I hope to commit a large amount of my time in actually
getting out amongst you, interacting and taking on board all your needs.
2. Combat Student Apathy – If any of you were aware of the
poor attendance at this year’s Union AGM, you would understand how
important and relevant this point is in regards to your requirements.
Whether students feel disenfranchised due to a lack of transparency or
lack of knowledge of the union’s activities and functions, I aim to
combat this feeling, by enhancing communication through social media
and streamlining the democratic channel for student’s voices to the top.
This is your union, and should therefore be your voice being
represented.

3. Promote Student Entrepreneurship - In an environment
where corporate mentality seems to be overpowering the
entrepreneurial aptitude within a lot of you out there, I aim to
encourage the flair and talent of our very own students, on our very
own campus. I hope to provide the resources to those willing to bring
new concepts and innovative ideas that shall improve the day to day
running of the union as whole, but also grant you – the students – with
a chance to excel in projects that will minister to your personal
development.
4. Support Integration - In light of the University’s intentions on
expanding projects beyond the main campus (see for example the
investment in the Surrey Sports complex), I will closely monitor the
foundations laid out and hope to develop upon and improve these in
order to better suit your desires. I believe it is imperative that all
students, whether they reside on-campus or not, do not feel isolated
from the opportunities and offerings of our union.
vote.ussu.co.uk : 15th – 26th March, 2010

MANIFESTO FOR ARRAN STEARS

“VOTE ARRAN STEARS, THE MAN WORKING HARD FOR HIS PEERS”
For those who don’t know me, my name is Arran Stears and I am To ensure that the Student Hardship
asking for your support in running for Student Union President.
Fund remains accessible to all
Having had such a great opportunity, experience and inspiring This central government fund (Administrated from the
time studying at the University of Surrey, I feel urged to give Student Advice Service) has recently been cut and I intend
something back to the student community as a token of my to ask the University to subsidise the fund from its
appreciation. Therefore I am standing for Student Union Corporate Service Budget on a pound for pound basis. For
President because I believe that I have the leadership qualities example, if anyone is entitled to get say £100 from the
and the moral strength needed to ensure that students get the fund, then the University will match this value.
best deal in this difficult economic time.

I have some strong and firm policies which I would like to share
To be ready and willing to serve you
with you in this Manifesto, if elected my main goals are: I will put the student voice above my own interests by making sure that I
express your concerns and that the Student Parliament remains strong and
To be widely available to the Student body responds appropriately. I will ensure
that democracy is lived out within the
I will publish my mobile and office telephone numbers, so that I can respond
Student Union.
to the needs of students 24 hours a day. If elected I will live on campus, and
endeavour to make sure that I am readily available for anyone to drop by and I am running for this job for you, the
discuss issues with me out of office hours. students, not for myself. If you would
like more information about me, and
To act upon the problem of insufficient student what I am standing for, please do not
housing hesitate to contact me:
If I become President this will be one of my highest priorities. I will make E-mail: as00020@surrey.ac.uk
every effort to have meetings with the University - in particular the Vice Mobile: 07863 888797
Chancellor and the Housing Accommodation Officer - to discuss more Skype: “arranstears”
affordable housing for students at the University of Surrey. Facebook: Search “Vote Arran Stears”
Address: 45 St. Catherine’s House, Guildford Court, GU2 7JL
 24
Do YOU believe your Students' Union REPRESENTS you?

Vote JACK COLBY

[1]
For President
& Get a Union that listens and truly represents to YOU!
If elected I will:
 Increase the availability of the Sabbaticals. & Executive officers to the general
student body.
 Reorganise and adapt the Union's representational system to suit the modern
student. Currently, each of the 13 Union officers must represent 1077 students.
I aim to alter the current system.
 Give more power to the Sports' and Societies' Standings, enabling them to be
more representational of YOU, the Students.

See my Facebook group “Vote [1] For Jack Colby For President” for the full
manifesto.

(KOSTA) Vlachos, Kostantinos - George

VOTE KOSTA [1] FOR UNION PRESIDENT

MANIFESTO

Why you should vote for me :

My name is Kostas Vlachos and I am a postgraduate student at the University of Surrey for the academic
year 2009-2010. My major is in International Business Management and I have already completed my
undergraduate studies at the American College of Greece on Computer Information Systems. In the
meanwhile I have finished a second bachelor degree in Management specifically in the field of Business
Administration at the Technological Educational Institute of Athens. This process has helped me be more
organized and equipped to deal with my obligations and I am ready to handle any difficult situation
especially when under pressure. Additionally, I am an outgoing student who enjoys socializing and
meeting people. For that reason I got involved in the Computer Information Society as a Committee
Coordinator in 2008 where I was in charge of society events in coordination with the Deree College
officers. Moreover, in 2007 I handled financial matters for the Computer Graphics and Program Design
Club as a treasurer. For the above reasons I truly believe that I am capable for the position of president in
USSU, since I can help students by not only listening to, but dealing with their problems and raising
awareness about their concerns. I will be their voice and their solution to their problems. I hope that I will
gain your trust and that together we will fight for our union and our rights. I am counting on your vote.

My campaign to be a president of Surrey Student Union in the elections to be held in March 2010 is based
on the following goals:

¾ PUTTING STUDENTS FIRST

¾ To achieve a better environment between students and academics, by creating a direct line of communication, so our concerns
and problems can be properly heard and dealt with. Furthermore, direct contact with students to address any problem via
mail/phone (enforcing an open door policy)
¾ Improve Bus roots for better and accurate transportation of students on various courts (Bellerby, Manor Park, Private
Accommodation)
¾ Bookshop: tickets to buy books online (e-tickets). No more cues, providing easier access to everybody.
¾ Library, 24 hrs per day like most universities around UK at least one month before each exam periods, since it is more
comfortable and helpful to study there. Also try to enrich library with additional resources i.e. books, journals
¾ Starbucks – to stay open till late. Try to hire more employees (which could be beneficial for financial aid students).
¾ Manor Park – as a resident there I feel there is a lack of an ATM, mini-market, coffee shop etc.
25
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 26
VP Education
   J#K
 

About Me
I am a final year Business Management student and have become passionately & actively involved in our
Students' Union during my time here.
I currently hold the position of Events Coordinator for the RAG Society, a post that requires a great deal of
dedication, drive and determination. I have also worked in Rubix since September 2009, and greatly value
the experience I’ve gained in seeing just how our union operates.

Throughout my time at Surrey I have seen first-hand the pivotal role you should, and do, play in shaping not
only your education but all aspects of your university life and I am looking for your support in electing me as
your Vice-President Education for 2010-11.
If Elected I Will:

1) Oppose, Protest and Campaign against any funding cuts that directly affect YOUR quality of teaching.
x Universities took over a decade to recover from the funding crises of the 1980’s; Lets not let them
make the same mistakes again. I will not let your futures be put at risk
x Surrey University’s aim is to become a top 10 university by 2019, this will only be done by constantly
investing in teaching and in your education. A university is only as strong as its students

2) Ensure that the university does not introduce higher tuition fees for students.
x Students should not be expected to pay more when funding cuts are on the agenda
x You should be able to study at the university you deserve NOT the university you can afford

3) Address problems with the current Student Representative System by creating a new Academic Council
for each Faculty, open to all students and meeting regularly once a month.
x Encourages greater dialogue between students and their reps
x Regularly quiz your Academic Reps and VP Education on the academic issues that matter to YOU

4) Create a printer credits system that is fair for ALL students

x It is grossly unfair that some subjects give their students up to 500 free sheets of A4 a semester whilst other students get nothing
x You should not be financially penalised because of the subject you choose to study

5) Address the “Beach-Towel” culture that affects the library at exam times
x Bring an end to row after row of claimed but empty desks in the library by allowing a maximum of 45 minutes away from a desk
x Free up more critically needed learning space for the students that deserve it

Vote Matthew Rawlings [1]

for VP Education
Your Education, Your Candidate
I will...
™ Fight to improve examination procedures and feedback.
™ Increase support for departmental representatives.
™ Increase student awareness of appeals and complaints
procedure.

Matthew is…
a third year Electronics and Computer Engineering student. He has been an active
student representative since secondary school. He served two years on his
department's Staff-Student Liaison Committee; where he successfully lobbied for
improvements to the coursework marking scheme. He has always been committed to
improving the experience of fellow students and has provided first aid in the Union
since his first year.
Experience and commitment matter – vote Rawlings
27
ManifestoͲVicePresidentEducationͲ
SamBull
OverthelasttwoyearsIhavehadtheprivilegeto
representyouasyourStudentsUnionChairman,I
amnowaskingforyoursupportoncemoretoelect
measyourUnionChairperson.
EducationPolicy
Delivered
AsyourUnionChairmanIhaveactivelyworkedto
ensurethattheUnionhasthedemocratic
processesinplacetoensurethatpolicycanbe
passedbythemostrepresentativebodypossible.
DuringmytermsinofficeIhaveseenstudentsbring
theirownmotionsandchangeaspectsoftheUnion
tomaketheirengagementwithitabetterprocess.
Whilewedohavepoliciesreflectinghowwe
operateinternallywedonothaveaverydiverse
portfoliowhencomestointernalandexternal
educationissues.ThismeansthatyourVice
PresidentEducationcannotknowforsurewhat
issuesareofkeyconcerntoyou.
IfElectedIwill:
Createaworkinggroupofinterestedstudentsto
helpdrafteducationpolicyforthisUniontopresent
toStudentsParliament.ThismeansthattheUnion
canstarttocampaignontheissuethatyoucare
aboutandstarttomakerealchangestoyour
educationalexperiences.
Representation
AttheUnionAGMthisFebruaryIproposedthenew
Unionconstitution,whiledraftingthisdocument
theissueofrepresentationwasakeypoint
throughout.Withthisnewconstitutionwesee
studentsgenuinelyempowered,withnewpowers
forStudentsParliamentandaGeneralMeetingof
Students(themostpowerfuldecisionmakingbody
intheUnion).AsyourUnionChairmanIhave
deliveredrealchangeforrepresentationatSurrey.
WhiletheUnionmaybeonabetterfootingin
termsofdemocraticrepresentation,whenitcomes
totheacademicrepsystemweneedtoseesome
improvement.Thefirststepshavebeentakenin
termsofUniontrainingbutweneedtobemore
radicalinreformingthissystemforyou!
IfElectedIwill:
PushforacademicrepstobebroughtunderUnion
asopposetoUniversitycontrolsothatweknow
whoalltheacademicrepsareandcanyouknow.I
willcreateanewforumsimilartoSocietiesand
SportsStandinginwhichacademicrepcanvoice
theirconcernsandsteerthedirectionoftheir
representationatthehigherlevelsoftheuniversity.
ThismeansthatifyouelectmeasyourVice
PresidentEducation
NationalRepresentationandHigherEducation
FundingReform
Delivered
Iamthemostexperiencecandidateinthiselection
innationalrepresentation;Ihaveattended2NUS
ExtraordinaryConferences,NUSNational
Conference,NUSRegionalConferenceandNUS
ZoneConferenceonUnionDevelopment.Ihave
takenrecommendationsfromotherUniversities
andledtheimprovementwewillseethisyearin
ourvotingsystem,Ihavevotedtoreformyour
NationalUnionandIhavevotedforanalternative
fundingmodelforHigherEducation.
TheHigherEducationFundingReviewisdueto
publishitsrecommendationsthisyearand
Universitiesarealreadyseeingcutstotheir
budgets,weneedstrongnationalrepresentationto
ensurethatstudentsarenotaskedtobearthe
bruntoftherecession.
IfElectedIwill:
Fightforafairerfundingmodeltoreflecttheneeds
ofallstudents.IamafirmbelieverofHigher
Educationbeingfreeatthepointofdelivery,butI
alsobelievethatstudentsshouldcontribute
towardsthecostoftheireducationbasedonits
valuetothem.IfyouelectmeIwilllobbytoseethe
NUSBlueprintforhighereducationisconsideredas
aseriousoptionandfightforafairerfunding
systemforHigherEducation.
Foradedicated,experienced,andcredible
candidatevoteSamBull[1]foryourV.PEducation.
Adetailedmanifestoisavailableat
www.votesambull.co.uk

VP Education Candidate - Stef Jones What I will achieve:

Personal Statement: I will focus on the problem of unpaid placements. Any

student on placement should be eligible for government
I am Stef Jones and I am asking you to vote me as VP Education for funding and support as placement training can be essential
2010/2011. This role attracts me as I am passionate about working to gaining employment.
with students and committed to ensuring that each student has a
rich and enjoyable university experience. It is going to be a difficult year and I want students to be
aware of the financial situation this country is in,
I am an enthusiastic, active and dedicated final year Dance and highlighting government cuts and the rising tuition fees. If
Culture student with the wish to pursue an educational based fees are raised, it is important to ensure that all students
career within the dance industry. Last year I was a course mentor have sufficient financial assistance. Students should be
that successfully supported students in their first year. I am also able to access higher education on ability, not creating an
the Social Secretary of the Trampolining Squad. elitist group that that has the ability to pay.
Since November 2007 I have worked in both Rubix and Chancellors I will push the Student Academic Representation role to
which has allowed me to gain a significant insight into the running take a less passive and more active function between
of your Students Union. I have also witnessed the importance of groups of staff and students, increasing communications
the relationship between the Students Union and the individual by successfully training new mentors to ensure the
student. stronger relationships are maintained and the weaker
relationships form strong partnerships which allow every
Education is one of the most important factors within a degree and student to be heard.
I want ALL students - under-graduate, post-graduate, placement
students and students who are not always on campus to have the I want to publicise the idea of Flexible Learning. It will
best possible education at Surrey. ensure that all students feel wholly supported and
represented; parent students, international students,
I believe I am the best candidate for this job. mature students, post-graduates and students studying
away. Flexible learning would assist in meeting special
What will I do for you?
requirements for students to continue with their education
I will represent you as stress free as possible.

I will support you *Ensuring Timetables are released early enough so

students can make the necessary arrangements.
I will make you as an individual student my main focus as your VP
Education *Making sure students can continue their hobbies and
sports along with their studies

*For distant learners to have the opportunity to easily find

out what is going on in their union

VP Societies
Vote ARIS KAZAK [1]
VP Societies and I.D.
PARTICIPATION | CREATIVITY | MANAGEMENT
Why am I running?
The numbers show that societies and clubs dynamics decrease every year, proving that
now more than ever before there is a need for change. Through my three year
involvement in societies I have experienced first hand, most of the difficulties and barriers
societies and the student community have to overcome on a daily basis. I am passionate
and a thinker, constantly searching to develop new innovative opportunities to enhance
each society’s status in the University. Cyclone:Rebirth’s advancement is clear proof of my
ability to draw and implement a long term plan with more than a successful outcome.
Furthermore, the democratic, team-building approach I followed as president allowed the
members to take freely initiatives that enhanced their personal development and the
society experience as a whole. Finally, as an elected representative of the student
community I will always defend and promote the student rights.
What will i do?
A. Participation
I perceive societies and clubs as a “system” with four main relationships. I intend to
improve the status of all the societies in the University by achieving a stronger
participation of:
• Students in the Societies: Number of students joining a society is decreasing every
year. Encourage and promote students to join or create societies.
• Societies in Student Life: Increase the extent of the involvement of the societies in
student’s everyday life. Societies should shape students’ lives in a more vibrant way.
• Student’s Union in the Societies: Establish a solid and lively relationship between the
VP and the Student’s Union with the societies through frequent feedback and
consultancy sessions. Planning of more collaborative projects like iFestival.
• Societies in the Student’s Union: Utilize students as a resource leading to the:
•Improvement of the Student’s Union operations
•Development of the societies
28
B. Society and Clubs Management
•Structure of Societies: Bearing in mind the diverse nature of societies in our university,
changes could be made accordingly on the structure of a societies board in an attempt by
each society to meet its full potential. In this way a society will be operating in a model
that could help reach its goals efficiently.
•Fundraising: Entrepreneurial suggestions to raise funds and expand operations.
C. Individual Development
The current economic climate stresses the importance for students to obtain additional
employability skills. The direction the Student’s Union has taken, must be enhanced by the
participation of all the faculties in a bigger collaborative project.
Moreover an extra incentive must be given to students who play an important role in the
progression of the societies in which they belong. By introducing a society merit system,
students contribution to the exemplary running of a society could be officially recognised
by the Student’s Union.
Who am I?
I am a final year Business Management student, currently president of Cyclone:Rebirth
(The Dance Music Society) and an active member of the GU2 Radio Station. These three
years in Surrey haven’t been my sole academic experience as I have also studied
“Production Engineering and Management” at the Technical University of Crete. During
my time there, I had the chance to lead the board of the local student radio station for two
years(2005-2006), as well as set up big scale events , like “Entasi Dance Festival 2005” and
promote local and national charity events. Apart from my academic career I have worked
in WS Atkins for two consecutive summers as an intern and deputy project financial
controller. Last but not least I am an artist. The same element that characterises my DJ and
producer career; CREATIVITY, will be the main driver to achieve my goals as
YOUR VP Societies and Individual Development.

Election Period 15th – 26th March

Visit *vote.ussu.co.uk*

VOTE KIKO FOR VP SOCIETIES & I.D.!!

I’m Kiko, a second year Business Management student. I have started Portuguese Society in
year 2009 which was successfully awarded to be the Best Newcomer society of the year. This
year the society has continued to host successful events. I am founding member of “Surrey
Mail" socials which allowed many small societies to come together and hold events at a scale
they could not do alone. I have been catalyst for cultural integration allowing home students to
take maximum benefit of the cultural wealth that travels with international students to this
university. With the support of friends I worked to create “East Meets West” which has brought
Greeks, Iranians, Arabs, Indians, Cypriots, Portuguese and other cultural societies together.

Why I would like your Vote:

My Pledges
9 To improve the financial
security of the Societies.
9 To develop better commercial
partnerships to gain
sponsorships for societies.
9 To improve AGMs by
introducing electronic voting
systems for societies.
9 To introduce an electronic and
robust signup system for
societies.
9 To promote meetings between
societies committees with
similar interests.
9 To continue my work, along
with the other union officers,
to celebrate the diversity
within surrey students.
¾ As President and starting a new successful society, I’ve worked with other diverse
societies, and elected as Officer for International Societies, I believe I am in the best
position to offer advice from the experience and work towards new initiatives.
¾ I have shown with my level of involvement to help and raise various issues and
participating in the democracy process by being involved with Student Parliament, that I
am a caring, approachable and confident person.
¾ I have built strong relationships with societies whilst developing and supporting their
work, and will continue to do so. Having been part of societies, as well as executive in
“Society Standing", I am aware of the problems and conflicts that can arise within a
committee and feel that I have the knowledge to resolve any issues based on relevant and
unbiased opinions.
¾ I am passionate about “International Festival", celebrating different festivals, which I will
make better and bigger during my time at the university and the union.
To demonstrate that, later on this semester, I will be the main promoter of a “Brazilian
Night” where we will show the culture of Brazil to the students of our University
My view on Individual Development:
¾ I feel that when you graduate, in order to be more employable, you have to have that extra
edge, which you can get in university, by pushing yourself to enter the several
programmes we have in Surrey. Student Union Training and Give It a Go, are great
opportunities for you to improve your skills.
¾ I pledge that, if I do get elected, I will improve the publicising and marketing of such
programmes, as I feel that a large number of students still isn’t aware of them. I will try to
create a good buzz about these programmes, to increase participation and individual
development, as we want YOU, the students of Surrey, to be as employable as possible!
29
About Me

My name is Osama I Salih, I am a civil

Osama I Salih Green
Engineer. I am in my final year at Help the university and societies
surrey. I am responsible dedicated and
become greener and try to
Manifesto
accepts responsibility. I try to put 120%
effort in the work i do, i guess that is reduce our carbon emissions
why i personally nominated myself.
Thank you for putting your trust in me,
i hope i don’t fail you guys.

Support From Student Union (USSU)

Get Support from USSU regarding all

societies, small or big i think that we should
Why Me!!
all get the same support and also try to get
What makes me a good candidate, i have subsidising for gym memberships for all
previous experience with societies, have society members to encourage the use of
helped manage run and support societies our new facility
throughout my years at Surrey and
previously at Reading University.
President of Arabic society 2007-2008.
Currently Treasurer for Arabic Society

Willing to support students develop and Assist and Encourage

assist societies with management and
Freedom
I want to give societies the
freedom of coming up with
innovative ideas to help engage
students and assist them
throughout.
I would like to assist students and
encourage all societies to expand and
practise their cultures and ethics.
I have also had a lot of experience in my
placement year managing and assisting
projects

MY PLEDGES
Demanding a fair deal for Societies and Students
My policies are clear and simple. I am offering practical and useful solutions to
many of the problems societies face on a day-to-day business. As a former
Society President and a Treasurer I understand how frustrating getting some
minor things done can be. Here I set out what I would do if elected:
1. Create a new, easy-access fund for general society requests under £100;
open to scrutiny by societies standing.
2. Allow AGM’s to be held at anytime during the Academic Year, returning the
freedom of choice to Societies.
3. Increase the range and diversity of societies; helping strong societies to
expand, but protecting the independence of smaller and specialist ones.
4. Make Societies Standing more efficient and relevant; return its power. Stop
bringing trivial matters like name changes forward and allow it to set
policy.
Please visit my Facebook page for more details and further policies.
a little about me...
I am a 2nd Year Politics Student and I am
originally from Surrey. I took a couple of years out
before I came to University and have enjoyed my time
at Surrey ever since. I love the course I do and have
made some great friends who have encouraged me
to run for this position.
Like everyone I also have interests outside the
University. I was elected as a Borough Councillor and
this role has taught me invaluable leadership and
budget skills I could apply to the role for which I ask
you support. I hope that you will support me and if

Find out more: you have any questions, please just ask.

Facebook: Rowan Cole I look forward to meeting you soon.

FB Campaign: Rowan Cole for VP

Societies & ID
Email: rc00056@surrey.ac.uk
 30
VP Sports

Gurkamaldeep Parmar

IWillIncreaseFundingReceived,ByLeveragingMyContactsInSeveralMajorCorporationsSponsorshipDepartments.

IWillEnsureStudentsTryingOutForUniversitySportsTeamsDoNotHaveToPayForTrials.

IWillAimToIncreaseRecreationalSportParticipation.

IWillReviewTheESP(EliteSportsProgramme)AndBringItMoreIntoLineWithLeadingSportsUniversities.

IWillLookToWorkWithTheVPofEducationAndTryToHelpAthletesWhoAreCompetingForOurUniversityEspeciallyThoseWhoCompeteInternationallyToHave
FairerDeadlinesAndMoreAcademicSupport.

IWillReviewTheProcedureOfBookingFacilities.

IWillWorkWithLOCOGAndMakeSureTheyHaveAnOnCampusPresenceToBenefitOurStudents.

IWillOrganiseAnAlumniLeagueToIncreaseTiesWithCurrentStudentsAndOurDynamicAlumniNetwork.

IWillAimToMakeSureLessGamesAreCancelledThisYear.

IWillLookToSupportTheOutreachProgrammeThatGuildfordHeatAreInvolvedIn.

IWillIncreaseMediaCoverageOfSportingAchievements.

IWillIncreaseSupporterNumbersAcrossAtleastOurBestPerformingSportsWithInnovativeIncentives,ToIncreaseSportingPrideAtOurUniversity,ThatIsDisplayedAt
RivalInstitutions.

IWillTapIntoMyPersonalNetworkToProvideOneOffSpecialCoachingForSportsTeamsAndToHelpBoostNutritional,TrainingAndTimeManagementAdviceForAͲ
TeamsAndESP.
31

You may know that I have been heavily involved at our Students' Union already and take part in various Sports Clubs and Societies.

Mid-last year I founded the Cycling Club and have been its President since. Later my commitment to sport led me to become elected Running Club Captain.
This year I was elected Chairperson of our Union Sports Executive & Sports Standings as well as a part-time Students' Union Executive.

I have used my aforementioned experience to initiate the creation of the new, popular Volleyball Club. I have also spearheaded an alliance between our
three Triathlon Sports Clubs (Swimming, Cycling and Running) whereby we can cross-train and attend each others training sessions free of charge.

A little about me
Hi I'm Trung, a Civil
Engineering student at
Surrey. I take an interest in
many sports particularly
Cycling, Running and
Swimming and play the
saxophone (Grade 8), piano
and guitar.
Proudest moments
of my life?
Being part of the ‘Make
Poverty History’ campaign,
protesting at the G8 summit
in Scotland 2005 and cycling
from Edinburgh to my
hometown, London, in 2009
having raised £1000 for the
charity ‘Right to Play’.
- Priority to Students at the Surrey Sports Park: Let’s not make Surrey Sports Park forget that their logo has the
‘University of Surrey’ integrated into it. I stand to ensure that the SSP keep their promise that we are their first priority; to make
sure that we are not overrun by the commercial aspects as well as the 5 pro-sports teams who share our Sports Park. I will also
campaign for membership to be at a reasonable price and ensure that it is kept at an acceptable level.
- Reduced Swimming rates for Students at the Surrey Sports Park: I will campaign for students to be able to swim
at a reduced rate at certain times of the week. Swimming is fun, a great full-body workout and easy on the joints. This would
greatly advance the recreation aspect of our Students’ Union. Consequently providing benefits not only to our Clubs but also to
non-Club and non-Surrey Sports Park members.
- More funds for Sports: The University has targets to become the top 10 UK and 100 world ranking university within the
next 10 years. Sporting achievement and student experience are crucial factors in achieving this. I plan to drive
the university to invest more into sports and support our teams in competitions. Increased participation in sports will also lead
to more funding and this is why it is crucial to capitalise my next point.
- Wider student participation and development: I have seen the benefits that sport can offer to individual
development. There are around 15,000 students at Surrey and I aspire to engage as many of us into sports and recreation. With
my experience I can give advice and assist on improving, maintaining and starting clubs. Students’ have the right to know what
sports and recreation are available to them and how they can influence change. I wish to utilise our own student led media as
well as the new website for enhanced communication.

- Club Kit and Kit Colours: This year we had problems with kit. Some arrived late and Surrey Sports Park changed the
colour scheme to white & black. This was unsuitable for many clubs and unlike our traditional colours. I will pursue for our own
colour scheme and ensure kit is delivered on time. Find me at www.Vote-Trung.weebly.com

VP Welfare
About Diana
Diana is currently a final year Biomedical Science student who has always had an interest in the
VOTE
welfare of other people, and shown this by the amount of voluntary work that she has undertaken
outside of her academic life. This includes working with St John Ambulance, and 'Interact', which
is a scheme working with disabled teenagers in the community. Within the St John Ambulance on
Diana Fisher [1]
for VP Welfare
campus she was elected Duties Officer and this year as Chair, organising training and making
sure enough trained first aiders are around to help when needed.

What I will do caring and trustworthy

working with you in mind
As I have enjoyed my time at University so much, my main aim as VP Welfare will be to assure that
everyone has the same opportunities and enjoyment as I have. My work with St John Ambulance
on campus has given me a broad knowledge of how the University is structured and who to
contact for various issues.My extensive knowledge of health and safety will enable me to identify
areas on campus that will need to be improved, to improve the quality of the community we all live
and work in.

Many students have been concerned recently with security within campus accommodation, and
who actually has access to their living space. I will endeavour to communicate with the various
residences and services to make sure that you feel safe and secure in your own room.

I will work with the Accommodation Office to try and make the process of finding off-campus
accommodation as easy as possible and so you have all the help and guidance you need. Also, a
lot of student have found the Arriva bus service around Guildford unreliable and inconvenient, so
I will negotiating with Arriva and the University to try and improve this service.

I will make sure the University considers those students with mobility issues, and make sure that
everyone is aware of the needs of these students by working with the Disability Advisory Forum.

I will also strive to improve the student experience by promoting healthy living on campus. Healthy
eating and knowing how to cook balanced meals is important for a healthy lifestyle, so I will ensure
that dietary advice is available, with the opportunities for learning how to cook.

Diana Fisher
at the heart
of your welfare

Vote online at vote.ussu.co.uk between Monday
March 15th 10am and Voting Closes Friday 26th 7pm
Georgina Emily Hancock
I am a final year law student and chose to run
for VP Welfare this year as I feel that I can now
offer support to all students from start to
beginning of their time at university.
In my time at University I have been active in the Student's Union for
example in my first year I refounded and was President of the RAG
society raising just under a £1000 for Marie Curie cancer care trust in its
first RAG week without funding from the Union.
In my second year I was elected to be the first Community Officer on the
Union Executive committee. In this role, I worked with the Guildford
Borough Council to implement a Student Housing accreditation scheme
to better student housing in Guildford, I attended residents groups to
help change the negative light in which students in the community are
often seen in and I attended several NUS Conferences and networked
with other university sabbatical teams to bring back fresh new ideas to
Surrey.
In my final year I was elected VP of the Law Society and I am currently a
co - project manager for the Sainsbury’s Sport Relief Mile Guildford,
2010.
I feel that I have the ability, if elected, to support students with any
concerns, be it the fears of coming to Surrey as a fresher up to the worry
and nerves of final year exams and dissertations. If elected I would be
100% dedicated to this role, available 24/7 if needed, doing everything I
can to make the student experience a positive one for all!
Vote GEORGINA EMILY HANCOCK [1] as your
VP WELFARE
32
My Aims…
Health Centre: It is my belief that there is a lot of dissatisfaction with the centre from
making appointments to availability of staff. I would look to set up a focus group or
survey to understand what it is the students really wanted looking at a range of topics
from the opening hours to the standard of care.
Manor Park: I would endeavour to make sure that students living at Manor Park are
not getting the short straw on health care. When you are ill you do not want to have
to trek to campus for help, I would look at the viability of there being a mobile service
where a doctor or nurse could spend a few hours treating students saving them the
hassle of getting to the main campus.
Building works/housing: I will make sure that the access around campus does not
become difficult such as longer walks or uneven surfaces such as those around the
library currently. I would start by making sure that students in university
accommodation are not disturbed too much and warned in advance and also making
sure that students get the right information to help them to move into private rented
accommodation, looking at a range of issues such as security, deposits and quality of
the house.
Volunteering: I believe that Volunteering is positive on every level, to those
volunteering and to those being helped. 73% of employers would employ a candidate
with volunteering experience over one without (Timebank) and I would like to
promote volunteering more to students as well as look into more nationally
recognized awards to offer students to take part in.
Student Finance: I will do my best to make sure that if there is a crisis in 2010/2011
year that students are aware of the support they can receive such as the hardship
fund as well as making sure current students re-apply early.
Integration: I will do my best to making sure that all students whether you are a GSA,
International Mature or a Disabled student receive the same opportunities and
choices as well as being represented at all levels of the Union.
Continuing… Promoting Welfare issues in The Stag and GU2 in order to promote
information and give students the chance to give me feedback about issues that are
important to them by being visible on campus and approachable.

Vote Noemi [1]

VP Welfare
About Me:
Before I tell you about why I want to be VP Welfare,
let me tell you a little bit about myself. I'm currently
in my second year of studying Politics. I'm a Mother,
a wife, an international and mature student who has
a passion for representing and helping those who are
in need. I feel that my passion will be best served by
being YOUR VP Welfare.
Helping Prevent Issues Before They Arise
I want to increase the level of active campaigning on
campus. We need to raise the profile of campaigns
on campus because it is important for students to
get their voices heard. The Union should be prioritis-
ing important issues such as sexual health all year
around, not just for a week. I don't just care about
your health for one week of the year I care about your
health all year around. With that in mind I want:
- A proactive relationship with the Student
Wellbeing and Health Centre.
- To prioritise taboo subjects such as bullying
and mental health. It is the responsibility of the VP
Welfare to promote awareness of important issues,
regardless of how fashionable they are and offer
sound advice and support to students who are in
need.
- Create a resource centre within the students
union, with information on subjects that affect stu-
dents. This would be easily available and accessible
to all students on Campus.
On Accommodation:
Accommodation on campus is an issue that is close
to all students hearts. Students want affordable,
well maintained accommodation on campus as well
as excellent and accessible facilities for all to use.
With that in mind I will:
- Lobby for more affordable campus accom-
modation
- Work with local authorities to secure im-
proved standards of accommodation off campus
- Launch a campaign for an improved bus
service.
- Fight for a 24 hour laundry service on cam-
pus.
Your Concerns, Our Priorities.
All sabbatical officers exist to work for students.
That is exactly what I would do as your VP Welfare,
work and fight for your interests. I will:
- Regularly consult with students about the is-
sues that concern you. I will hold a regular surgery
EVERY WEEK. The days and times will be widely pub-
licised
- Provide a strong and passionate student
voice at Executive meetings, putting students wel-
fare at the top of the agenda
- Reach out to groups that are currently under-
represented, such as international students, student
parents, mature students and disabled students.
- Maintain a good working relationship with
Societies and Welfare amenities. They form the
backbone of our Union. Strong societies and ameni-
ties result in more opportunities for students
Working for you.
I believe that the VP welfare should continually
strive, with passion and commitment to make a sig-
nificant difference to the lives of all students on and
off campus. If you elect me to serve you, I will never
stop working on your behalf, I will never stop reach-
ing out to the underrepresented and I will never stop
speaking up on the issues that you care about.

Vote Noemi [1] the Well-fairy

33
25
OTE
ROWAN VP WELFARE
V LING MANIFESTO
more rewards for students
1 if you give to the union - expect the union to
give more back to you.

2 better communication
brand new, modern and ‘easy to use’ website to
unite the union and its members, and also to
keep a beady eye on your sabbs work.

3 pure action
no fuss, drama or politics; just pure action.
expect students’ good fortune,
health, happiness and prosperity
to be top prioirty.

VP WELFARE. REDEFINED.
Tamsin For VP Welfare
My name is Tamsin MacLellan and I am a second year International Politics student.

If elected:

x I will aim to improve the poor lighting on and around campus.

x I will campaign and fundraise for more water
fountains/dispensers to be installed on campus.
x I will also campaign and fundraise for improved disabled
access on campus; although access is not as limited as some think, there is still a lot that
needs to be improved.

Whether it’s baking for charity cake sales or watching movies with Onslow Village Brownies I try and help out with as much as
possible, both on and off campus. Creative with ideas, positive and outspoken; I always stand my ground. If elected I will represent
all Surrey students’ needs and be there to offer whatever help and advice is needed; ranging from something as small as where
Amigo’s is, to how to deal with an uncooperative landlord. I’m motivated and enthusiastic about everything I do and this will be no
exception.

“Tamsin is approachable and understanding and someone who you can definitely count on for good advice”
Frances Boswell, Maths UG
 34

Zoe Papadopoulos
VICE PRESIDENT WELFARE 2010/2011

Kate Barker (Proposer) “She’s helped me through my time at University; let her help you through yours.”
For the past four years Surrey University has been my home, but as I am now coming to the end of my degree on the Law course, I
would really like the opportunity to give something back, something that would ensure the experience was as enjoyable for other
students as it was for me.
Having been personally involved and dedicated in maintaining and developing a sports team, namely the rugby club, I understand
the importance of working together, friendship and community within the student lifestyle and this understanding has given me the
passion and drive to run for this position.
I believe as a Welfare Officer I would have an open mind and my main aim would be to connect with students from all backgrounds
and make sure that every students’ welfare is guaranteed. I have the motivation and drive to ensure that every student releases
their full potential while being at Surrey University and I will do everything in my power to represent your interests and achieve our
common goals and ideals. There are several ways I would go about this, and they are outlined in my pledges below.

My pledges:
x To provide a Welfare Pack that will be handed out during Freshers’ Week to help new students settle into University life with all
the relevant information about preserving their welfare. It will include information on general welfare, sexual health advice, drug /
alcohol abuse, eating disorders, housing / money problems, environmental issues and tips and advice from current students /
past students, for example, what facilities they made the most of that helped release their full potential at the university.
x To promote the significance and importance of sexual health awareness, providing free condoms and information and advice
about where you can go to get checked. This is also advantageous to the promotion of good mental and physical health of the
student; this will include improving the resources available within the Students’ Union.
x To work closely with Student Support, Advice and Services to ensure all students settle into University life and feel comfortable
in their own surroundings, with the help of as many university services as possible to aid them in this. This is important as many
new students may need help and advice when dealing with the transgression from home life to University life but are afraid of
coming to the Union office with certain problems.
x To guarantee that the views and voices of the student body are fully heard in the Students Union and are dealt with in good
time, as soon as humanly possible. The one thing that students cannot afford when doing a degree is a delay or slow production
of services and resources.
 Epsom Downs Racecourse
Saturday 15th May
colours
ball
2010
Tickets NOW on sale
from the Activities Office in the Students’ Union
See you in a fortnight!
 37
Hi everyone,
Welcome to the new Technology section of The Stag!
Now that The Stag has its own website, it feels apt to
start a new section which focuses on technology.
What’s that I hear you say? You’ve never seen our
new site? Then check it out at thestagsurrey.co.uk.
You can read all our current and past issues online,
and leave your feedback on individual articles.
In this section, we’ll be covering the latest
developments in the world of technologies, gizmos,
and gadgets - but at the same time we’ll also be
covering how all these are used by people in everyday
life. To that end, the first column that we are starting
is ‘What The Buzz’, which provides what topics are
‘trending’ on Twitter - a social network that many
find a mystery to this day.
More varied articles to come in future editions. In
case you’re interested in contributing, just drop us
an email at tech@thestagsurrey.co.uk
All Your Base Are Belong To Us,
Ankur Banerjee
YouTube Disco
by Ankur Banerjee
Despite the whole gamut of ‘music recommendation’
of sites such as last.fm, Spotify, Grooveshark et al that
exist out there, YouTube still remains a major source of
discovering and listening to music for many web users.
The problem, so far, has been about being able to
easily discover new music on YouTube – usually, you’ll
have to search for specific songs or artists.
Enter YouTube Music Discovery. Head over to youtube.
com/disco and enter the name of your favourite
artist or song. YouTube then automatically creates
a playlist of songs by that and similar artists. You’re
also presented with a list of songs from the artist you
search for. The advantage – and the disadvantage –
here is that all the videos are ‘official’ videos from the
music companies themselves, so they’ll be the actual
music video – and not just a song set to a slideshow.
It’s also a disadvantage because sometimes you can’t
play back a video due to licensing restrictions.
This service is certainly no match for dedicated music
recommendation services, but if you want to kill time
by discovering new music videos similar to what you
already like YouTube Disco accomplishes that job
well.
If you would like to contribute to our new Technology section
please submit your articles online at thestagsurrey.co.uk
• Apple announces launch date for iPad
• Major glitch hits Sony PlayStation 3 systems
Technology Update
• ‘Browser ballot’ introduced for Windows users in EU
• Trouble brewing at Call of Duty developer Infinity Ward
• YouTube introduces automatic video captioning
Visit thestagsurrey.co.uk for links to news articles giving full coverage on
these news events
iPad – Innovation or Menstruation?
When a female CNBC news anchor
mocked the new release from Apple as
‘reminding [her] of feminine products’ the
iPad instantly became the butt of hundreds
of internet jokes. Jokes aside, the real
question on everyone’s lips is whether the
iPad is the Next Big Thing in the technology
world. At some point in the not too distant
future will the iPad replace the notebook
laptop? Will it replace laptops altogether?
The answers to these questions, much to
the disappointment of the Apple team I’m sure, seem rather bleak.
The Guardian hailed the iPad as being ‘an oversized iPhone...that wants to be a laptop’
because it has many capabilities such as browsing the web, playing videos and a variety
of games. The iPad has been congratulated on being light weight and easy to interact
with; with similar controls to the iPhone, users already familiar with this technology will
find the iPad easy to handle and can access all their favourite apps straight out of the
box. The larger screen makes it easier to read books (which can now be purchased from
iBooks) without the use of zoom or reading glasses and also makes viewing movies
a more enjoyable experience. However, do any of these benefits outweigh the more
obvious drawbacks?
Firstly, the iPad seems to look and behave like a large iPhone without calling or texting
capabilities. Secondly, the iPad has a large, touch screen monitor which will be open to
the elements if users decide to go out and about with it, unlike a laptop which has a lid
to protect the precious innards of the machine. There is also no DVD drive, no USB port
and, like the iPhone, the iPad does not support multitasking so only one app can be used
at a time. Finally, the iPad just seems unwieldy; it’s too big to rest in the palm of your
hand but completely flat so resting it on a table and sitting back on the sofa appears out
of the question as well. The whole concept of the iPad appears to be unnecessary and it
looks like a classic case of the greed of multi-national corporations that don’t know how
to quit when they’re ahead.
Ultimately, with fewer features than an iPhone and with less durability than a laptop, it
seems that the public are unlikely to embrace the iPad as the next ‘must have’ item.
This applies especially to poor students who can normally find more appropriate things
to spend their student loan on than overpriced gadgets.
by Amy Johnson
 32

Open to all abilities, there will be a full support team. For more info contact Trung at m01772@surrey.ac.uk
39
March’s Society
Standing Update
This month’s Society Standing saw the name change
of three societies: Space Society has become the
Surrey SEDS (Students for the Exploration and
Development of Space); Cyclone: Rebirth is now
The Dance Music Society; and The Turkish Speakers
Society is the Turkish Society.
There are plans to hold all society AGMs at the end
of the year between the April and May, but before the
start of exams. This change aims to make sure that
all societies are at the same level, as it is difficult
to give quality training when AGMs are scattered
throughout the academic year.
This change will also ensure a handover period
between outgoing and incoming members so that
the newly elected committee members may receive
advice from those leaving, write objectives for and
calculate a budget for the upcoming year.
We were introduced to the candidates for VP Societies
and Individual Development as well as the candidates
for all the other committee positions. Make sure your
voice is heard and vote March 15th.
Bakita Kasadha
Societies Editor

by Bakita Kasadha

‘For Many Are Called But Few Are Chosen’ - Matthew 22:14

Society of the Fortnight

The society of month is Chosen; a Christian fellowship which aims to explore and learn about Christianity. One member says, “It provides a
brilliant opportunity to enter into a family”. Their activities range from Bible studies, discussions to praise and worship.

Chosen has changed my outlook on life for the better. I finally know who created me! - Joyce Oyedele.

Everybody is welcome. Chosen members meet every Wednesday at 6pm in LTL, for praise and worship, just follow the music!
Have your say and choose your own society of the month for April. Send your comments online at thestagsurrey.co.uk and explain why.

societies@thestagsurrey.co.uk
Time Issue

6pm Flooding in Bangladesh (International Environmental Destruction)

6.30pm Poverty in Afghanistan (Poverty)

7pm Palm oil and deforestation (Environmental Destruction and Poverty)

7.30pm Poverty in Indian slums (Poverty)

8pm Shell in the Niger Delta (Environmental Destruction, Poverty and other
People’s Rights Issues)
8.30pm Why is there poverty in the Congo? (Poverty and other People’s Rights
Issues)
9pm Brazilian Logging (Environmental Destruction)

9.30pm Poverty Palestine (Poverty)

 OPENING TIMES
MONDAY TO FRIDAY 08.00AM - 11.00PM
SATURDAY 10.00AM - MIDNIGHT
SUNDAY 11.00AM - 11.00PM
FOOD SERVING TIMES
MONDAY TO FRIDAY 08.00AM - 8.30PM
SATURDAY 10.00AM - 7.30PM
SUNDAY 10.00AM - 7.30PM

Mad Monday!
Monday Night | Monday Madness Thursday Night | Open Mic
Special Drink Deals and Promotions
Monday Madness mixes up a concoction of lots of drinks deals
along with Channies famous cocktails. It may be a Monday, but it is
every Monday
The hugely popular Open Mic night kicks off around 8pm with a mix of
original stuff and covers hosted by Alistair Cowan. The floor is yours

Night, and Friday todon’t forget to catch

THE place to come for some tunes and promos before you head into
town. Why wait until relax? Begin your week like you mean the DUSK
to bring your ownbus
to show off your musical talent and there is a house guitar available,
or you are welcome instruments. Make sure you get
to end it! here early as it gets packed out!

Tuesday Night | Chancellors’ Challenge

& Comedy Night (Alternate Tuesdays)
Chancellors
Friday Night |Sunday
Pre flirt! drinks Roasts

Choose
Come and test your brains at Chancellors Challenge. Not just for
from Chicken, Beefbefore oryouNut.
Make sure you start the weekend at the best bar on campus and in
Guildford! Chancellors is the place for pre-flirting head

All served
egg heads, but it helps! Hosted by our able quizmasters you have
the chance to win cash, free entry to Rubix and many other prizes.
with
You have trimmings for just £4.95
upstairs to Rubix! Make sure you come down early as it will be busy.
been warned!

Alternate Tuesdays you’ll find Comedy Nights here with some of the
best names in comedy from the London circuit and the Edinburgh
Fringe Festival.
£1.50 Specials
Sunday Night | Poker Nights
Challenge your peers in a game of deceit and intrigue every other
Sunday night. It’s £5.50 buy in, so make sure you bring your poker

The
Wednesday Night | Pre Citrus drinks new afternoon
face along as well as your money!

Meal Deals. Served from

All events and timings are subject to change.
Midweek shennaigans starts in full flow with live DJ’s and an
expansive drinks menu. Channies is the perfect meeting place
so make sure you get here early before it is jam packed!
3-5pm Monday to Friday
Chancellors.
HOW TO ORDER FOOD
Not for profit, just for students.
All day breakfasts
Find a table & note its
number | Place your
order at the bar | Pay &
Your Students’ Union is a charity, therefore all the profit it makes through
Chancellors goes back into funding sports clubs and equipment, societies
and cultural events, student media, development and professional training ,
Served on Saturday from 10am.
keep your receipt | Your
order will be brought to
welfare and representation and everything else that is Union led!

Just what
your table. Thank you.
youyour need money back into to kick start
So next time you dine or drink here, give yourself a pat on the back as you
have recycled providing better facilities the day!
for students
here. Well done and thank you all!

Takeaway
Now all of your food
can be ordered and
taken away to your
desk or halls anytime
during serving times.
What could be more
convenient for you!
UNIVERSITY OF SURREY
BRANDED HOODED TOPS
INCLUDES A LARGE
RANGE OF COLOURS
AND SIZES

JUST £23.95
 43
Music
Ellie Goulding – Lights Music News
by Mark Allen

I’ve been following the happenings

and progress of Ellie Goulding for
New Zealand's best comedy export Flight
some time now, watching her go of the Conchords are set to play a number
from a young girl from Hereford
with a head full of modest songs of dates around the UK in May, including
to pop-princess stardom of which
the likes of Little Boots and
3 nights in London
various others have achieved in a
relatively short time.
The BBC have confirmed closure of its 6
Produced by 21-year-old
Starsmith, AKA Fin Dow-Smith, a Surrey University grad, he worked Music station and Asian Network by the
with Goulding over the last year to inject a bit of pop electro into things.
And it’s quite a move from the original tracks I heard all those months
end of 2011 in a huge announcement of
ago. This is definite a commercial album, but it seems to have a little cutbacks across the company
more soul and passion than most. Plus, this girl can actually sing,
which is always good in today’s sea of auto tune.

Goulding has had a fair whack of success so far, with the first single The headliners of this year's V Festival
Under The Sheets creating waves in the music world, and she even got
chosen for the BRITs Critics Choice, and put on any ‘Top 10 of 2010’
have been announced, with Kings of Leon
list you can think of. and Kasabian topping the bill.
One of the nice things about this album is the mix of delicate electronics
elements, like interesting vocal looping and reversing, shifting between
down tempo verses to big, dance lead choruses, all backed up by
Ellie’s huge vocal range, which she makes full use of Foals – Spanish Sahara
Wish I Stayed was one of my favourite tracks from the original EP, Foals have been off the indie-radar for quite some
and although it has been re-recorded for the album, I still prefer the
original, as the whistles-and-bells version seems to draw away from the
tender, low key feel of the original recording. The album is a good mix
Track of the Week
time writing their new album, and this is the first
taste of things to come. Featured as a video on
of the big singles like Starry Eyed, to the heart-felt The Writer, which
has a killer intro. The only criticism I could make on this album would
their website, fans should not be disappointed
be that they do start to sound very similar, in terms of song structure, with this new sound, moving away from their
but if they’ve got a system going on, then why change things up? indie-dance-pop roots to a more ambient and
Watch out for Fins debut-solo album, coming out in the next year, epic experience. Listen at www.foals.co.uk
which is sure to feature some great electro numbers.

Would you like to contribute to the Music section?

For more information visit www.thestagsurrey.co.uk

or email music@thestagsurrey.co.uk and speak to
our Music Editor!

Errors - Come Down With Me by Mark Allen
Glasgow has been churning
out some great music over
the past year, with some of my
favourites being Frightened
Rabbit and the happy chaps
Dananananaykroyd. When I
first heard of Errors, back with
their debut album, I knew that
their blend of indie-dance with
interesting electro elements
would mean for a few rounds
on the ol’ tape player. Singed to
the label owned and managed
by Mogwai, and Come Down
With Me is their second full
length release.
First things first, this band is fully instrumental. You don’t hear many these
days, but they certainly don’t need someone wailing over the top of their
tracks; the creative instrumental parts steal the show. Songs like A Rumour
44
In Africa have some really catchy parts to them, mixing Foals-esq ‘plinky’
guitar parts (for want of a better word) with 80’s synth lines more suited for
big club floors. Supertribe is another retro number, with low-key drums and
an addictive lead line. I think it sounds like something that could be in some
driving game on an Atari.
Each track on this album definitely has an independent charm to it, and
they range from very upbeat indie numbers, to a showcase of synths and
programming. Tracks like The Erskine Bridge bring things down to a much
softer level, providing a nice little break in the middle of things. The Black Tent
is a subdued number, just rolling round and round, meaning I could listen to it
for a long time without getting bored.
This is an album that I’m sure Errors are proud of. They have found a very
particular sound, and there aren’t many bands out there doing this sort of
thing at the moment. Without any vocals they have managed to make the
synth lines speak for themselves, and it takes you a couple of listens to hear
every detail. I particularly like how some bits sound like retro computer games.
Surely never a bad thing...

Gorillaz - Plastic Beach (2010)

by Richard Beddington Ants is a melancholy gem that
builds and builds with distant,
On the face of it this album looks very, very interesting indeed - the sparkling eighties synths (a
sheer list of collaborative artists is, in itself, phenomenal.  Starring great feature of many of the
alongside the animated four-piece are old school legends like Bobby tracks) before dropping you
Womack, Lou Reed, and both Mick Jones and Paul Simonon of The into Glitter Freeze and straight
Clash.  In addition to this there are plenty of contemporary cameos into Mark E. Smith’s lone
to juxtapose these stalwarts such as  Snoop Dogg (the star of Snoop Lancashire accent querying
Dogg’s Fatherhood), Kano and Mos Def.  All of these (and plenty more) “Where’s North from here?” 
directed by the creative talents of Damon Albarn? - yes please. 
The whole album is full of
The album starts with an orchestral intro from Sinfonia ViVA that really these juxtapositions, which
catches you by surprise and puts you on high alert (albeit a calm high sometimes makes for a fairly
alert) for what’s to follow.  The intro then subtly segues into the opener, disjointed feel.  Yet, in a slightly
Welcome to the World of the Plastic Beach which features some contradictory way some of
bombastic horns courtesy of the Hypnotic Brass Ensemble and a Snoop the songs may fall slightly flat
who welcomes you in as laid back as if he’d been sunbathing on the without the context of the album.  The album does, however, begin
Plastic Beach.  In fact, the Plastic Beach is (if you didn’t already know) to make a more holistic sense when you consider that this small lack
apparently an island of plastic waste that has coagulated to form the of cohesion is an inherent side effect when creating an album with
land on which the animated band reside and recycle the plastic into such breadth and variety.  There aren’t many albums that would sit
new and beautiful things.  This idea does seem to be in parallel with a mournful ‘bleep-pop’ track like Rhinestone Eyes straight after the
the recontextualisation of some of the more established guest artists Latino/Bollywood stylings of White Flag. 
featured as well as part of a loose environmental theme thought the
album.  Another potential side effect of this variety is that despite Albarn saying
he intended this to be the poppiest album he had made, it does seem
But back to the music.  The Snoop Dogg opener - whilst certainly a to lack the amount of obvious dance-floor singles present on the other
strong track - doesn’t actually feel like anything especially new, but the two albums. 
memory of the orchestral opening and guestlist keep you excited, and
from then on the album doesn’t look back.  Stylo sees Bobby Womack These two facts should by no means be construed as negatives and as
shine next to Mos Def in a track that on most albums would be a very an album this may well be Gorillaz best - only time will tell if it produces
hard act to follow.  And yet following this are perhaps the two standout singles become as omnipresent as Dirty Harry, Clint Eastwood et al.
tracks of the album.  Whilst Superfast Jellyfish has De La Soul and Super were.
Furry Animals’ Gruff Rhys vocalising over some classic Gorillaz beats
(and, if the past is anything to go by, is destined for Singledom) Empire
 45
Dance and Theatre......
What’s On?
Wednesday 10th March, 7.30pm - Dance3 - PATS Dance Studio
£10 full, £5 students/conc. - Box Office 01483 686 876
Experience dance in a new dimension – three fresh, bite sized performances
showcasing the best up-and coming professional choreographers and
their collaborators in one evening.
Wednesday 10th March, 7.30pm - Ensembles Concert - PATS Studio
One
Admission Free
Student conductors direct an entertaining and diverse programme of
music for ensembles and small orchestras.
Friday 19th March, 8pm - University of Surrey Big Band - PATS
Studio One
£3 students - Box Office 01483 686 876
The University of Surrey Big Band return to Studio One with another lively
and fun-filled programme of Big Band standards through Latin Jazz to
modern funk.
Tuesday 23rd & Wednesday 24th March, 7.30pm - Going Public 2:
Final Year Degree Shows
PATS Dance Studio
£3 students - Box Office 01483 686 876
Final year dance students at the University of Surrey invite audiences to
see a wide range of new works, some witty, fun and celebratory, others
poignant, thought provoking and innovative.
Thursday 25th & Friday 26th March, 7.30pm - AC Studio Space
Chekhov’s Axe - Pieces of The Cherry Orchard
‘Can’t you see human faces, looking at you from behind the tree-trunk
in the orchard - from every leaf and every cherry? Can’t you hear their
voices?’
The first public performance from the new Theatre Studies programme at
the University of Surrey.
Are you bored of the usual lunch hour sat around feeling lethargic
following a morning of lectures? Why not liven up your lunch-hour and try
something new? Every Wednesday we hold free lunchtime concerts in the
PATS Building, Studio One between 1.10pm and 2pm.
Re-thinking performances schools
by Lexi Sutton
Every year thousands of hopefuls flock to Britain’s best acting schools, dance
conservatoires and performing arts colleges. All in the hope that they will
have the X- factor. If they ‘make it’ they will become famous within their field,
their name will be in lights, everyone will know who they are...or will they? Is
success that simple?
At this year’s Oscars Carrie Mulligan won best female actress for her role in ‘An
Education’. Carrie was rejected from the acting schools that she applied for. It
30
Look At Me
Dissertation Choreography by Tara Baker
Reviewed by Nathan Coakley
From the start it was nerve biting. Standing over the road from the house in
subject, I was made to feel as if I was watching without permission, and I
wondered what other people would think of me... I stepped forward to peer
through the letterbox, invading more unknown space, was I allowed? Is this
normal? As we continued round to the side of the house I questioned what
was waiting behind the steamed up window… I found myself wanting to
climb through and watch even closer as the dancers vanished out of my keen
sight.
Looking through the kitchen window now, the choreography was still making
me feel uncomfortable. I gazed at the arrangement of personal objects and
utensils. My attention was drawn to the back entrance of the house, fully lit as
one of the dancers invaded our space stepping out into the garden – seemingly
completely unaware of our presence, then, darkness! They slammed the door
in our faces. Frightened, I stepped into the once warmly lit kitchen that had
now turned black. Was I trespassing? Am I going to be pushed back outside?
Were the dancers going to jump out on us? I crept forward to find myself
pulling the door only to encounter warm lighting and no body in the space.
I looked into the front bedroom where I once peered from the outside, then
upstairs between the slats of the banister, one room left, the living room.
Scared and unsure I began to take careful steps inside…
Startled, I found myself caught on camera as the red light stared at me and
my image upon the screen. It wasn’t long until I heard a foreign language being
spoken by the dancers who had magically appeared outside, relaxing with a
cup of tea, whilst I was now inside feeling the warmth of the room seep into
my clothes. The lights went off, the end…but where were they now?
Its not about where you go,
it about who you are
led me to wonder – how important is it to be trained at a specialized school?
What if Mulligan had got into RADA or LAMDA or any other acting school,
would it have just thrown her into the limelight quicker or would she perhaps
have drifted into a completely different career?
Going to drama school doesn’t guarantee you success. Having an acting
degree is only useful for being on stage. What if you were to change your
mind? Still want to work in the theatre, but not on stage, ‘sorry you only have
a degree in acting – I don’t need an actor, I need a costume designer, or a
stage manager’.  Are people that sure that they will become successful in
performing or do should we opt go for a more general degree? Do we throw
away our hopes and dreams, after one year’s rejections? If we are rejected
from the people who apparently are the experts in talent, do we go back over
and over again in the hopes that someone will say yes?
Who is even to say that they are right? They got it wrong with Mulligan! What
is that indefinable ‘it’ factor and why do these ‘experts’ get to decide your
entire future on a two minute audition? Likewise, how does one become an
expert in talent – the saying goes ‘if you can’t do it...teach it’. Who are they
to decide?
I hope, in the end, that it doesn’t matter where you go, but that it’s more about
the individual. Your own determination and talent that makes you successful,
not the school in which you studied. 

‘BARE JOKES’ –
Cracking!
Review of ACS Comedy night , Rubix, Thursday 18th
February
by Kristel Tchamba
The ‘Bare Jokes’ comedy group was on campus during
the first week of February to save us from the cold
weather. Surpassing expectations, it was a fun way to
spend a Thursday night, especially after a very stressful
day filled with lectures and tutorials. The timing could
not have been better; the ticket holders were in for a
treat.
The audience filled Rubix and the night started on a
very uplifted tempo, with the host doing the usual thing
of making us at ease with the upcoming delights of
the night. The starter was mainly composed of familiar
jokes and banters on various predictable stereotypes;
most of which were childhood memories and travelling
experiences.  The attentive listener was taken on a
journey through the lives a young black person in
modern Britain. From the difficulties faced to readjust
to a foreign and hostile environment, to the troubles
of dealing with bullies and peer pressure. From great,
simple, and witty, to raw critical and slightly on the edge
of nastiness, the night unfolded itself.
There was a succession of what could consider as
unacceptable, unbearable and inappropriate by
our standard as a society. Men, women, straight,
homosexuals, everyone was attacked by the sword of
Bare jokes. The jokes were mainly real life experiences
and based on our outlook and attitudes regarding
sex. ‘Bare Jokes’, reminded us how tolerant we have
become of casual sex and our intolerable approach that
we still maintained towards gang violence and social
classes. As expected, there was also a quick mention
of youth from underprivileged background dealings with
the illegal pressure of gun crime, still, while trying to
fit in with a society that might appears to be foreign
to them. The highlight of the night was the mirror like
reflection that the spectator was given of what is like to
live in a post-new Labour Britain.
A multiracial Britain which celebrates the later concept
and considers it at the centre of the fight to become
prosperous as a nation; Jay B, one of the comedians,
joked: ‘as a white person, I am happy to be living in
this country. It’s very diverse ... and having different
cultures living together allow us to exchange and learn
form each other. But most of my ancestors don’t agree.
Oh well, they are not here now who cares.’ He was thus
highlighting the highly publicised, but always forgotten,
contribution that minorities make to this beautiful nation
that is Britain. The jokes initiated a big wave of laughter
from the crowd as a sign of approval.
‘Bare jokes’ was a success and something of an
achievement for the ACS. Despite being at first considered
as an ‘urban show’, which will be of no taste to the
mainstream audience; ‘Bare jokes’ , in its own manner,
crossed the racial and privileges barrier and deserved
to be presented as another product of British comedy.
46
I Dance and I Feed You
Review of performance I Dance and I Feed
You as part of Dance Dialogues and after,
an interview with Omar Rajeh the artistic
director (Maqamat Dance Theatre)
by Lucy Al-Zoghbi
This year’s Woking Dance Festival brings an
exciting and varied programme of events to
the local area.  Saturday 27th February was a
great example of this as Middle Eastern food
and dance combine for Dance Dialogues, a
day of culture, dance food and discussion
here at Surrey University.
A remarkable show and refreshing insight
into the misunderstood region, Radhouane
combined his love of dance and food, and
cooked up a storm for the audience. Within
Arab culture it is an honour to dance and feed
guests and those in the audience certainly felt
privileged to watch on as he strived to awakening the senses of his audience making cous cous and
dancing simultaneously. Despite the great rapport with his audience, at times Radhouane actions
were confused. The cooking and dancing were a little fragmented. Perhaps he was highlighting the
wish for more connection between these cultural aspects  
What drew you to performing as part of Woking Dance Festival as opposed to something in
London?
It was an initiative that came from the organisers, particularly Mary Brady who is Artistic Director of
the festival.  She became engaged in the development of work through Maqamat Dance Theatre in
Beirut and invited me to be part of Woking Dance Festival. 
You studied you MA here at the University of Surrey. What advice would you offer to students
who pursue their careers in dance?
For me it is a personal decision, I became involved in my work in Beirut because I had the passion. 
For any student they too must keep this joy and passion in them for as long as possible, and then
they will truly be happy.  
How do you feel about Middle Eastern dance and its recognition?
Firstly, I don’t like this terminology ‘Middle East’; it is a colonialized term that divides countries and
cultures.  However the region has a developing scene, and there are different interests.  Its culture
is rich but it is for everyone, and not exclusive to one group. It should create initiative discussions
with audiences.   
Do you notice a difference in reception between an Arab audience and say a British one?
Of course, there are differences between an audience’s  reaction, quite general things really. 
Although this is not just between an Arab audience and another, it comes from within the audience. 
I believe that a performance should make the audience question what they see, so that there is
a dialogue with the audience.  This questionable relationship between dancer and audience, will
allow one to rediscover the work; as a creator of dance, I can look at the work from different angles.  
Where do you see Middle Eastern dance in the next 10 years?
Things are developing very quickly in the region and with the newly emerging
choreographers; there are many directions and possibilities.  I would like to see physicality
and conceptual depth in the work, representing themselves and becoming engaged
in this moment of dance.  I am very positive about the future for dance in the region. 
dancetheatre@thestagsurrey.co.uk
 47
Film Get the popcorn ready......
The Seven Golden Rules For Going To The Cinema
I go to cinemas a lot. Cinemas are the proper and
traditional way to see a film. Why? It has its own
environment. The structure goes something like this:
you buy a ticket, you go into the auditorium, you sit
down, the film starts, you watch. It is that simple and
nothing should stand between you and the film being
projected. It is a blissful experience to me and all
aspects of film are enhanced in a darkened room.
I may sound incredibly snotty, but the experience
does not work without some guidelines. All of these
are easy to follow, but often broken. So be quiet
at the back and spit out the gum, these are the
essential rules people must follow in order to enter
my cinema.
1. Sit Down, Shut Up
Yep, rule number one and often the most broken rule
in a cinema. The pre-show is for talking, the adverts
are for calming down and the feature is when you
should respect most people’s reason for buying a
ticket. It does defeat the whole reason for going to
the cinema and you are dumbfounded for buying a
ticket to do something that could be done outside…
for free.
That is not to say you should not make a noise.
There are exceptions, such as reactions to the film.
A scream, a laugh, a titter or a wince. All of those
come natural and are part of the experience. Another
exception is midnight screenings, where throwing
spoons, sporting water guns while watching Andy
Warhol’s Flesh for Frankenstein is customary.
2. Take Your Phone Outside, Sir
It could be argued that this is a variation on rule
number one, but mobile phones have a very special
category. It can be a silent enemy. Yes, there is ‘the
phone’, but there is also ‘the text’. An increasingly
bad habit on behalf of the teenagers in the back row
who thought that the film they were going see was
Bad Boys II.
Out of the many times I have heard a phone ring
in the cinema, a surprising number of people have
answered the phone while the film is going. Many do
not even bother to put it on silent. Almost everyone
I see get a text message midway in the film still
reply.
I have to admit though, the only genre that most
people walk out of the cinema with a phone, is horror.
Why? It can be a slick tactic to excuse yourself out
of even the scariest Lucio Fulci flick. In other words,
that guy on his way out is not talking to anyone on
the phone. He just cannot stomach the film he is
watching.
Once again, it pains me to be ‘ol curmudgeonly
granddad, but it is not rocket science to turn a phone
off. If you know a conversation will crop up, then do
not take it with you to the cinema. Plus you can save
money on your phone credit. No need to thank me,
it is what I’m here for.
3. Know The Right Time To Go (To Do Your Natural
Business, Of Course)
Of course, if you want to get the most out of the
film, you have got to see all of it. It is important to
go to the toilet before you enter the auditorium and
you will be thankful when you do. It is very awkward,
especially if you have not got an aisle seat, to exit
the cinema.
Other people do love their cinema so much that once
someone has crossed their peripheral vision, their
evil stare will be exacerbated on you. Plus, when
you think you leave at the right time, BOOM! He’s
a ghost, she’s a man, it was the one-armed man
who did it, he’s Keyser Soze! Be prepared and think
twice. A simple conversation or just a man crossing
the road always means something.
4. It Was Those Pesky Kids!
I dread this every time I go to a multiplex. In my town
there are two multiplexes and one picture house.
I cinema of choice is the Arts Picturehouse to the
local Vue Cinema. However, occasionally I will have
to reach out of my comfort zone and be one with the
wannabe chavs stinking of Burger King.
I remember having to see the dreaded, hilariously
awful Will Smith vehicle Seven Pounds. It was the
second time I went to see it with my brother and
there was a smorgasbord of young teens at the back
that a) would not stop hurling abuse b) would not
stop hurling Revels and c) would not stop hurling
themselves up and down the aisle (with a can of
hardcore Red Bull).
We were a quarter of the way through the film and
someone had the courage to try and call an usher.
This is where you need all your effort to make sure
those misbehaving are given their smack bottom and
fond farewell. This is important:
The usher will stand at the bottom aisle to make it
look like they are checking for the culprits. The truth
is that like humans, they do not want to be physically
and emotionally hurt. That tactic does not work
because the culprits will wait until the usher exits.
Be persistent, either have the usher be out of sight
to support your claim, or threaten to get security.
Hopefully, they will leave because they are there to
annoy, not to get in trouble.
5. Know What Film You Came To See
It is often that I have heard of audience members
demanding for refunds and being refused. Well,
make sure you do it BEFORE the film because if you
do it after the film has started; tough luck, you are
hardly likely to get one.
A most recent example was Tim Burton’s film
adaptation of the stage musical for Sweeney Todd:
The Demon Barber of Fleet Street. Half the audience
were expecting a bloodbath of a horror film. Now, it
was not quite the opposite, but it was clear that they
were surprised that there was, you know…singing.
Like most people who moan for a refund, they still
managed to endure the whole film. Only when it was
finished that they marched straight to the box office
asking for a refund. Not only were they refused, but
it also built up a minor protest.
My answer to that is – well, it is your own fault. You
paid to see it, and the cinema is going to show it.
It is that simple. If you did not like it, it is another
experience and one to learn from. The trailer and the
poster are there to sell and is an easy misconception.
Do your research!
6. If Something Is Wrong with the Picture…Tell
Someone!
What does warrant a refund is if the picture is literally
insufficient. Examples include, ratio does not fit the
screen, sound cutting out, blurry film etc. Anyway, the
point is that if the cinema cannot provide the basic
ideal cinema conditions, it is mostly their fault.
A common occurrence to do with the picture being
projected and the projectionist’s job is to keep an
eye on the film at hand. Today, the price for a cinema
ticket is tremendously high. Most tickets cost £7-8.
The sooner you tell someone the less it will ruin the
experience. Plus, you must ask the manager for a
refund if any of these insufficiencies happen. After
all, you paid for it.
7. Eat and Drink…in strict moderation
It is a cruel tradition to think that popcorn is the snack
most preferred in cinemas over the ages. To me, it
is one of the worst foods I can think of consuming in
a cinema. Aside from the stickiness, the unfulfilling
texture, the irritating way it gets caught in your teeth;
the main problem is noise.
Whenever I go to a multiplex, it is never enough for
anyone to get a small bag of popcorn. The medium
sizes are large buckets full of disposable puff. So
my advice would be, please, please, please, try and
avoid the popcorn. I would challenge anyone to go
through a medium sized popcorn tub through the
whole film (don’t, by the way).
Drink is less of a problem, except for alcohol. Alcohol
is a problem waiting to happen in the cinema. I
remember fights about to happen in the cinema
because a group of blokes brought a six-pack of
Guinness IPA. Needless to say, the film had to be
stopped before the problem was sorted. Call me a
killjoy, but a bottle of water always does the trick.
Plus, may I mention the great thing about cinema
and the film you watch: it always gets people talking
when they leave the auditorium. Now that would be
a great time to go for a good meal and round off a
good evening. So save the food and go to a Pizza
Express and just talk about the film you just saw (for
good or bad).

The Lovely Bones (12A)
by Ollie Sim
The afterlife is an incredibly difficult issue
to present on film. A classic example
and indeed the most accomplished, is
Powell and Pressburger’s A Matter of
Life and Death, where life is presented
in colour and the after-life in black-
and-white (ironically, not the other way
round). The Lovely Bones looks more
like What Dreams May Come with
themes borrowed slightly from Steven
Spielberg’s long forgotten, Always.
Saoirse Ronon plays a shy, maturing
girl who one day encounters her next
neighbour, Mr Harvey played by Stanley
Tucci, a character that spells ‘lonely
creep’ all over him. After her encounter
with Mr. Harvey, he runs home to find
no one and being ignored by her dad
(Mark Wahlberg). In fact, she is stuck in
limbo – in neither heaven nor earth. It
is a surreal world where the grotesque
runs rife.
And indeed, it is a peculiar film that
does its darned best to adapt a pretty
‘unfilmable’ book. What I would have
loved to see is what Lynne Ramsey would
have done with the book. The problem
is that as admirable are its attempts
to adapt the creepy source material, it
fails on quite some levels. It just never
seems to amount as much as one could
have anticipated. Peter Jackson being
the director of imagination and horror
(Heavenly Creatures being a more fitting
comparison), I thought such startling
subjects
would be
dealt with
a steak
knife. This
seems to
be dealt
with a Best Picture nomination?
spatula.
*****
48
by Ollie Sim
The Blind Side (12A)
By the time this review goes to print, I am confident that Sandra Bullock
will receive her Erin Brockovich moment and win Best Actress at the
Oscars. She suits the role well, but is it challenging? Hardly. The same
goes for the film, which is also up for Best Picture (No, it is not going
to win).
Inspired by the ‘true story’ of Michael Oher (Against The Odds: The
Michael Oher Story probably would have worked better as a title), who
has had a troubled past, illiterate and hanging out with the wrong crowd
(groan). One rainy night, he is caught the eye of a sassy soccer-mum
played by Sandra Bullock. She takes Michael into her home and the
family embrace Michael as a member.
What follows is your typical TV “inspirational film of week”-type trajectory.
He has low scores, but is able to play football (the American type: play,
stop, rest for 10 minutes). It is not awful and you could do worse with
Leap Year out this week, but could one embrace it enough to garner a
As it turns out, yes. Personally, I wonder why? There is a whole back
catalogue of sports films that are not any different (Radio, All the Right
Moves, He Got Game, Above The Rim etc.) Its success is certainly
a surprise and maybe that is why it has been promoted through the
Academy. To me, it makes for a mundane afternoon TV Movie.
*****

Front Rom Film Schedule film@thestagsurrey.co.uk

16th March 7:30pm, LTL SPACE
ODYSSEY (U) Top Film Picks
MOON (15) 11th May 7:30pm, LTL 1. Ponyo (U, *****) are getting tiring, it is less about
7:30pm, LTL Moore’s self-aggrandising and
THE WHITE 8th June Miyazaki’s latest animated treat more about how capitalism fal-
23 March
rd
RIBBON (15) that is a pleasure to watch
throughout the various age
ters in the current climate.

7:30pm, LTL THE CLASS groups. A young boy finds a fish 4. The Crazies (15, *****)
ANTICHRIST with a girl’s head. Once he nur-
(15)
(18) 18th May tures the fish it grows to be a lit- An efficient remake of George
7:30pm, LTL tle girl, who longs to be human. Romero’s 1973 horror film
7:30pm, LTG The animation is wonderful, and about a community that is
LET THE the story is just as appealing. driven crazy by a toxin in their
15th June water supply. It is less daunting
RIGHT ONE IN 2. A Single Man (15, *****) than the original and the military
(15) MAN ON presence is emphasised, but it
EASTER A film with a polished surface is still quite good.
7:30pm, LTL WIRE (15) and a dark core. The perform-
ances are top notch and if there 5. The Lovely Bones (12A,
7:30pm, LTL is any particular credit, it goes *****)
25th May
27th April to Colin Firth with his solemn
performance as a professor re- An ambitious, but admirable fail-
4 MONTHS, 3 acting to the death of his secret ure. A timid girl (Saoiore Ronan)
XXY (15) gay lover. is murdered by the next-door
WEEKS AND SUMMER neighbour (Stanley Tucci) and
7:30pm, LTL 2 DAYS (15) 3. Capitalism: A Love Story
(12A, *****)
finds herself between Earth and
the afterlife. The visual effects
4th May 7:30pm, LTL Michael Moore returns in a
allude to the film: sick, wonder-
ful, but confused.
less pestering mode than his
FISH TANK 1st June previous documentaries (Sicko,
Fahrenheit 9/11). All the more
(15) 2001: A better for it. Although his stunts
 49
Literature Get those creative juices flowing....
How Fan-Fiction
Ruined My Life
by Eunice Njagi
I have a (self-diagnosed) addictive personality.
Randomly discovered TV shows can consume my
life for days on end, and to add insult to injury this
passion extends to books and movies as well, with
a similarly destructive effect (although television
has proved most lethal). That is why the discovery
of fan-fiction, whilst seemingly harmless to anyone
else, has left me completely and utterly screwed.
To anyone who has ever watched a show, read a
book or played a game and been unsatisfied with
the ending - maybe the characters didn’t reach
the conclusion you hoped for, or the storyline let
you down half-way through - fan-fiction is the thing
for you. Urbandictionary.com defines it as ‘A piece
of fiction within a fandom utilizing characters and
situations from a pre-existing work including (but
not limited to) books, television programs, films,
and comic strips’ with the example ‘Kate writes
fan-fiction about what would’ve happened to Jack
and Rose had the Titanic not sunk. Poor Kate.’
While it’s true, this may seem like the most
pointless genre of writing for someone to spend
their time on, you would be surprised how it draws
you in. Although some pieces leave a lot to be
desired in terms of writing style and grammar,
many contributors use forums like fanfiction.com
and livejournal.com as a way to demonstrate an
amazing secret talent. Granted, it is easier to work
with pre-produced characters, but the range of
scenarios invented by the writers on these and
similar sites are a testimony to their creativity. There
are also a large number of writers who simply pick
a few personality traits of a character and begin
a story from scratch, and some such stories have
gone on to be officially published, with just a name
change of characters required.
That said, what attracted me most to fan-fiction
(and keeps me hooked) is the same ‘what-if’ factor
that made me read Give Yourself Goosebumps;
every new story is a new possibility with characters
I already know. While I am willing to admit I take
comfort in the knowledge that I am not the only
person who thinks Spike and Buffy should have
ended up together, what has kept me scrolling
through texts until ridiculous hours of the morning
are the captivating plots and brilliant writing of this
recently discovered genre. And if a storyline hasn’t
been created that you think you should exist...why
not write it yourself?
*For all those caring souls out there, I am battling
this addiction, and my 9am starts this term are
putting me off any late-night reading.
Censorship: Controversy Sells
by Tom Goulding
With the news that Salman Rushdie plans to base
his next novel on the fatwa that forced him into
hiding, the issue of censorship in literature has
resurfaced once again. In 1989, Rushdie’s The
Satanic Verses caused a culture clash in which
Islamic fundamentalism collided with Western
philosophy. Book burnings and sporadic cases of
international violence against those associated with
the novel highlighted the influence that extremist
minorities can still have on the world stage. More
importantly, it showed people the power of the
written word was still more relevant than ever.
Ayatollah Khomeini was not the political leader first
to fear literature, and he has not been the last.
Books that are seen to threaten the establishment
are banned everyday, especially in countries where
democratic freedom is limited or fails to exist. Before
1991 and the downfall of the Soviet Union, many
of the modern classics we now come to identify
the last century with were banned throughout the
communist state. George Orwell, perhaps one of
the most satirical Western commentators on the
Stalinist hypocrisy, outraged the dictator to the
extent that when the author heard of Trotsky’s
assassination in Mexico, he took measures to
arm himself, convinced a similar fate awaited him.
Yet those writers, who are undeterred by threats,
And Another...Review
Rating: 3/5
And Another Thing... is the authorized sequel to
Douglas Adams’ Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy
series, written by Eoin Colfer – best known for is
Artemis Fowl books. Damn, this introduction must
have been used SO many times when describing
this book...and therein lies the crux of the matter.
Whenever a book (or film) has to resort to saying
“…also written by this author”, it usually translates
to “a recipe for disaster”.
And Another Thing… is not a bad book, per se.
Colfer puts in his best effort, but he tries much too
hard, and at the same time not quite hard enough.
Most of the jokes are done via the medium of half-
hearted footnote-style ‘Guide notes’, about what
the Guide would have to say on certain topics. This
style of joke very quickly becomes monotonous.
“It’s funny”, you realize in an almost clinical way,
but it doesn’t surprise you like the real Douglas
Adams did.
Colfer also plays it safe throughout the book. He
doesn’t introduce any major new characters,
concepts or locations; drawing instead on the
various colourful people and locales DNA cooked up.
In this regard, Colfer borrows from the radio series
at places in the novel too. Whatever new elements
and willing to push the boundaries, tend to make
their mark on history. In his essay The Prevention
of Literature, Orwell insists that a bought writer is
a spoiled writer.  An author who writes to please
the majority ideology is a propaganda machine: the
work is stripped of individual thought.
Ironically, publishers have been seeking out
transgressive literature since the 1960 taboo
storm surrounding Lady Chatterley’s Lover. The
victory over The Obscene Publications Act may have
been a triumph for freedom of speech, but this
has given way to poorly written fiction, taking the
guise of an outrageous idea. The simple fact that
controversy sells has steered such pioneers of the
airport paperback as Dan Brown and Martin Amis
to international stardom. It suddenly seems that
a scuffle with Catholicism, or a strategic remark
about feminism in the tabloid press, will catapult
any novel into the realms of bestseller status.
Rushdie has been accused of controversy seeking
in the past, smeared by critics as a poor man’s
Marquez.  However if his next work can live up to
Orwell’s vision that all writers must have a motive that
does not resemble greed, he will not need to worry.
That said, belief in your own values is necessary
before any literature can be taken seriously.
he introduces are
the bare minimum,
required to keep
the story ticking. I
can guess that this
was done not to tick
off ardent fans of
Adams, but for a lot
of us that is what
defined Adams’ work
– quirky, unusual
characters and each
page brimming with
caustic wit.
I won’t say And
Another Thing…
is a disaster, but it
serves as a reminder
that nobody can step into the shoes of the literary
genius that was Douglas Noel Adams. I would
recommend you read it for the sake of entirety of
the series…but it will probably leave you with a
feeling of emptiness.
by Ankur Banerjee
 50
The Power of The Trap
by Eunice Njagi
Spoken Word by James Castle

I don’t think anyone will disagree that YouTube has shown them many great things.
Without it, many of us may never have seen the Susan Boyle performance or witnessed
the Sneezing Panda in all its glory. However, I’m going to go out on limb here and say
despite the fascinating and bizarre contributions posted daily on the site, one of the
best features YouTube hosts are extracts of Spoken Word poetry.
While English teachers have been telling me for years that all poetry is meant to be
read out loud in order to be fully appreciated, it only when I discovered Spoken Word
that I really believed them. Watching poets perform pieces they have written that can
have the same audience that was bursting out with laughter immediately stunned
into silence, it’s clear there is something powerful about Spoken Word. Covering the
entire spectrum of human emotion, the poems – whether read or recited – each carry
their own influence.
The cynic in me argues that the reason Spoken Word has drawn such a great response
is the entertainment value it brings to a fast-track generation. Many of the pieces
performed are less than 3 minutes, catering to the short attention span of anyone
wishing to consume something ‘intellectual’ in a bite-size form. It’s also true that a
large amount of poetry will contain some level of profanity, be it in topic or content,
which may not suit the easily offended. That said, the impact of having the author
perform a piece that they have created, and therefore has a personal significance for
them, shines through in every performance.
But if this effect can come from just a few minutes on a computer screen, imagine
the impact watching a live performance can have! Despite its American origins
Spoken Word has gone on to spread globally, and websites such as ‘Poets on Fire’
are dedicated to promoting live poetry events taking place in the UK. While they may
not yet have the recognition and publicity of their US predecessors, the popularity of
Spoken Word is on the rise; the UK clearly has something to say!
Mother’s Day “A day about Family, Appreciation
and Love.” – Simone Mark
As March 14th steadily approaches, “Mother’s Day...when is that?” –
The idea for my trap started two days ago. I think that I have every
possibility of success, every possibility I can do something real. For
these two days I have not eaten, as eating would take away from
my concentration. I scratched my script onto the dank walls with my
toothbrush; I figured out every possible situation that could arise and I
have every answer. Now I have finished my work I can sit down. I think
I will sit here for a while; I have not sat exactly here for a very long
time and it’s good to have this rest after all my hard work. The Sun will
set in not too long and I can watch that to cool my mind. I may even
think about the Sun itself but I shall leave that until the light starts to
dim. If there is one thing I have learnt it is that you don’t want to think
about things all in a rush. It is reckless. I am enjoying sitting here, the
cool wall, the way I can recognise my etchings just through their feel
on my back; this is relaxing. When the Sun sets I will have to move
from here because the food will arrive, I can’t miss it.
The room grows darker and I allow myself to think of the Sun. It
seems I have timed this just right, letting me muse on the Sun for
a good while. Does someone move the Sun by force? Why does the
Sun come back so regularly? Does the Sun enjoy making its rounds?
Why is the Sun so bright compared to the rest of the sky? It starts to
get dark and I grow still and pensive. I wait but soon realise the food
is late and I begin to fidget. I look at my feet, I look at the door, I look
at my feet, I look at the door; on and on. This... is... not... normal.
Just as I start to feel the creeping of anxiety build in my stomach I
hear what I have longed for; the keys, the boots, the cadence. This is
it, it is now or never. It took me two days to get ready for this and now
I shall spring my trap.
“Stand clear of the door.” I hear and obey. The tray door opens and
I let loose.
“What is your name?” I ask, barely a whisper. No answer, the tray of
grey food is pushed into the room.
“WHAT IS YOUR NAME?” No answer, the tray door closes. I rush
forward and slam my body into the door as hard as I can.

Word
Eunice Njagi went up, down and
around the campus, to find out
what Surrey students think about
Mothering Sunday (or just their
Amali (to be fair, I did this survey “WHAT! IS! YOUR! NAME!?” Everything in the world goes silent. I hear
around early March.) the cadence, the boots, the keys and tears well up in my eyes - a
lump grows in my throat. Those are two days I will never see again.
“A day to thank Mum for everything

Of
Mum’s in general). These were some
of the responses given;
“Warmth, cuddles, flowers and love.”
The
– Sarah Lichtensteiger
“The person who brought me into
she does...cheesy but true.”
Would you like to contribute to
“Mum’s are great.”
the Literature section?
“A hug when I feel sad.” – Georgie
Olden
“My Guidance.”
Submit your articles at

Moment
this world.” – Udonna J. Mbaji
“My Best Friend.”
“Better get flowers soon!”
“I love my mummy!” – James Bolter
“She never knows what she wants...”
– Alice Taylor
“It’s stressful; I have to sort out my
brother and my Dad!”
“It’s a commercial rip-off.”
www.thestagsurrey.co.uk
“Wendy Bird...that’s my mum’s
nickname.” Or
Whatever the date means to you, it’s
definitely one you won’t want to be
forgetting. Write it down in your diary,
Send all queries to our Litera-
and bear in mind; flowers wither and ture Editor at
chocolate melts, but a hardback can
last a lifetime, so get all three!
literature@thestagsurrey.co.uk
 51
Shots Need to Take
Chances
by David Holt
Aldershot Town need to start taking their chances
if they are to make it in to the Coca Cola League
Two Play Offs come the end of the season,
according to Ben Herd. I spoke with the right
back after the crushing 3-2 loss to Dagenham
& Redbridge on the 23rd February, a game in
which the Shots threw away a two goal lead to
take nothing from their home game against their
fellow Play Off contenders.
It was the second time in 3 days that our local
team conceded a late goal at home to cost them
points and Herd, 24, admitted “we just took our
foot off the pedal and once they got the goal
back we kind of crumbled”, which resulted in
Aldershot’s first home defeat since Kevin Dillon
took over in November, but the play-off dream is
not over yet with the club sitting one place and
three points outside the play offs in the 4th tier of
English football (at time of print).
Herd is rightfully eager to make it back to a
play off final after being on the losing side at
Wembley on two occasions for his previous
team Shrewsbury Town, where he was able to
play in the first football league game at the new
Wembley Stadium in front of over 60,000 fans.
The Shrews, however, lost 3-1, a result that
felt like “a right kick in the b******s”, but the
right back is determined to use this experience
to push him on to finally become a winner at
Wembley at his 3rd time of trying.
It was with the Shropshire outfit that he played
alongside current England international Joe Hart,
of whom he speaks very highly, and also managed
to work his way through the Watford youth team
from the age of 8 with Aston Villa winger Ashley
Young. However, despite impressing at youth and
reserve team level he wasn’t quite able to make
the first team and pursued his footballing career
elsewhere. “I knew the people that worked there,
all the coaches and I was brought up in their
way. Me and Ashley were the only guys to get
pro contracts so it was good, but I just wanted
to play football”.
Having played around 200 games in League Two
Herd has more than proven his worth at this level,
but understandably he’s ready to test himself at
a higher level, preferably with The Shots, telling
me “I want to get out of this league, and if it
means through play offs with Aldershot then
that’s great”. And with Aldershot remaining in the
hunt for the play offs then the chance of playing
against the likes of Leeds United, Southampton,
Norwich and Charlton next season is still very
much a possibility.
Aldershot Town have boosted their promotion
chances following the loan signings of strikers
Omer Riza and Damien Spencer just before
beating both Chesterfield and Bradford 1-0
on Saturday and Wednesday respectively. The
Shots next home game is on 20th March against
Shrewsbury Town with tickets available for just
£12 with a valid Student Card.
“Sorry not tonight handsome,
Surrey Storm are playing”
by Harriet Humphries
I once had a somewhat heated discussion with
an ex over how my love for a TV medical drama
compared to his love for Fulham FC and, although I
still maintain there are similarities in commitment,
I did find something of an attraction in the longevity
of supporting a sports team. It was this conversation
coupled with the want for an enthusiasm that could
compete with that age old paradox of how an apparent
“commitment-phobe” can have an umbilical cord
attached to his premier team of choice, that has led
to my appeal for girls all over campus to say,  “sorry
not tonight love, Surrey Storm are playing”.
For those of you who don’t know, Surrey Storm are
a new look team, part of the Co-operative Netball
Super league and were envisaged and assembled
by Jason Harborow and his colleagues, the team
behind your new face of University sport, Surrey
Sports Park. His vision was to kick start (or should I
say put the first ball in the net for) the development
of women’s elite sport at the University, and with a
current unbeaten record of eight consecutive wins
I’d say the team are well and truly living up to his
vision of a group that “present women sporting role
models to our students and sport users”.
The team is coached by the most successful England
coach, Mary Beardwood, and the players’ status
continue to reflect both Mary’s class and Surrey
Sports Park vision for elite greatness, with a line-up
of “the best players available” including England’s
co-captain Sonia Mkoloma, defender Geva Mentor,
attacker Tamsin Greenway and shooter Rachel Dunn.
After hearing all the hype and being impressed with
the glossy marketing, I decided to go along to their
home match against Loughborough Lightning at
Guildford Spectrum on the 11th of February and see
whether there was potential for a new love in my
life...
Far from the calm before the storm, the crowd
entered the stadium to the tune of all the latest
chart hits and were entertained with savvy sound
and lighting effects. Forget your stereotypical
cheerleaders; the away crowd had to contend with
the much more intimidating talent of the urban
dance group Surrey Storm Troopers - think Britain’s
Got Talent’s Diversity. And whilst on the topic of
ITV talent shows, Peter Jackson, the man behind
the booming voice over’s on both the x-factor and
Britain’s Got Talent, is responsible for welcoming
Surrey Storm onto their home arena. Couple the
style of this pre-match entertainment, the calibre
of the players, and the presence of Sky Sports,
with an arena of local supporters stirring the storm
with the noise of their free clappers, and you know
something powerful is on the horizon - the match
did not disappoint.
Within what felt like the first thirty seconds, Storm’s
shooter Rachel Dunn made the first goal and set the
pace for a match that produced a lot of goals, from
both teams, at a rapid pace. Lightning’s England
shooter Jo Harten and under 19 goal keeper Layla
Guscoth shone for Loughborough, keeping the match
tight enough to keep the atmosphere excitable, but
with Storm leading after every quarter it was the
home crowd making the most confident cheers.
Aside from talent on court, the entertainment value
continued to be matched by the production side of
things, a favourite being the clever use of the Beatles
“Help!” played when minor first-aid was needed on
court. Surrey Storm Troopers continued to perform
well choreographed sets during the breaks and sport
in Surrey proved its accessibility with a fun half time
shooting competition for the spectators, where it
was girl power all the way with the teenyboppers
showing the grown men that they should stick to
trying to score goals on the pitch.
Although Lightning continued to score well in the
second half, it wasn’t enough to put the home teams
win in doubt and at the end of the match Lightning
only served to foster the greater force of the storm,
and the home team stayed unbeaten with a 53-38
win.
Surrey Storm are an attractive team who bring feisty
female attitude and glamour to the court, they have
a strong commercial presence with stylish branding
and are surrounded by a team that promote
elite performance along with accessibility to the
community. Match day ticket prices can match
theme nights at the union, and the experience is
something fresh and energetic. There’s enough
merchandise to keep us girls consumer drives happy
and if you take advantage of the “bring your bloke
along for free” matches you can keep them happy
with the half time hotdogs.
Whether you have an enthusiasm for netball, an
interest in women’s role in the sporting domain
as a whole, or just a simple want for something
new to keep you entertained and distracted from
coursework, a Surrey Storm match won’t disappoint.
Surrey Storm are elite players whose matches are
rife with high entertainment value and they need
support that matches the level the men in your life
give to their football teams, so this term unleash
your inner feminist and get involved! 
Visit the girls online at: http://surreystormnetball.
co.uk/
Match tickets available now from: https://www.
guildford.gov.uk/spectrumonline/

From Promotion Contenders
to Marriage Offenders
The past few weeks have not only seen excitement on the pitch but juicy gossip off
the pitch as well. Let’s begin with the tragedy of Pompey being the first top league
team to go into administration. It really hasn’t been their season, with a grand
total of 19 points (soon to be 10) and 4 different owners, all doing their part to
attempt to recover the club from their financial turmoil. All Pompey fans can pray
for now is a hasty return to premier league football, assuming all their debts are
paid off and that Sol Campbell’s law suit doesn’t prove too disastrous. Something
they can cheer about was their well earned 4-1 victory over the Saints.
You may recall another top league regular whose financial luck ran out in the
season of 2003. That team was London based Wimbledon, whose luck in the top
league ran out when a proposed move away from South London was met badly by
faithful supporters. This lead to the formation of AFC Wimbledon after the original
Wimbledon team moved to Milton Keynes to become the MK Dons in the summer
of 2004. Both these teams are having reasonable success in the lower leagues:
AFC Wimbledon sitting fairly high up in the blue square premier (considering they
started in the lowest of the low, this is very impressive!) and MK Dons in a similar
position but 2 leagues above in League One under the confident guidance of ex-
Liverpool star Paul Ince.
League 1 sees yet another ex-top flight team battle for promotion. Leeds United
are out to prove a point this season, with an excellent run in the FA cup (including
a memorable 1-0 victory over Man United, courtesy of front man Beckford) and a
position that sees them as serious contenders for League One champions, along
with Norwich and Charlton Athletic. In league 2, the adventurous Notts County
recorded a 2-0 victory over Premier League team Wigan, only to be knocked out
of the FA cup by Fulham. County may have high ambitions for potential Magpies;
however Sol Campbell walking out after only a matter of days proves that the ex-
England manager may have to be more realistic.
Onto the Championship and last season’s Premier League relegation teams
can boast mixed fortunes. Newcastle is the most successful team, enjoying
a comfortable lead in the league, with West Brom following closely behind.
Middlesbrough however cannot show off similar results and sit roughly between
the playoff places and mid table. If the boys in red are unable to grind out more
convincing results, they will struggle to establish themselves in the league.
Surprise promotion contenders Nottingham Forest have shocked all the pundits
with their unbeaten run of 17 games, which was unfortunately ended by an in-
form Birmingham City in the FA cup. Despite this, they still continue to dominate
in the Championship, placing themselves very comfortably in the playoff places
and the dream of playing top flight football is now becoming a very realistic goal.
This season sees a very unusual line up, with the likes of Newcastle and
Middlesbrough in the Championship and Burnley in the Premier League however
the main interest this season has to be action off the pitch. So far this year we
have seen England international stars having multiple affairs, which have only
recently taken affect on the pitch (you may have noticed the missed hand shake
between the 2 particular players involved when Chelsea lost out to Man City 4-2
at Stamford Bridge), with Wayne Bridge’s resignation from the World Cup squad
to be taken to South Africa. This leaves Capello in a very difficult position, as
he must support both John Terry and Wayne Bridge, without falling out of favour
with the fans. Ashley Cole also enjoyed his fun on the side until wife Cheryl left
him. The media hype coming from this story appeared to warrant the punishment
of being sidelined as Florence Malouda replaced him in left back for a game.
There are multiple options for the England manager however: Ashley Cole will be
available if he returns from injury in time, Villa’s Stephen Warnock is more than
capable of filling in the position whereas Leighton Banes will happily take the full
back position after a consistent season with Everton.
It is evident that English football is still one of the best, if not most interesting,
in the world, with every league proving to be exciting and keeping every fan on
their toes. Not a single team will give in to a fate until the last minute of the last
game, no game can be predicted and no manager can be written off, until that
final whistle is blown.
sports@thestagsurrey.co.uk
52
Saints March onto
Overcome Adversity
by David Holt
We’ve all seen it in the past- a sporting event takes place that leads you
to believe that, if Hollywood tried to sell it as the story for a film, it would
be laughed off as unrealistic. Yet Super Bowl XLIV once again proved that
real life can offer stories that fiction can only dream of.
The backdrop for the New Orleans Saints fantastic 31-17 victory over
favourite Indianapolis Colts could hardly be more heart-breaking. A city
torn apart by the costliest hurricane in American history featuring a team
that had spent most of its existence without even a glimmer of success
shouldn’t make for one of the most inspiring sporting occasions in memory.
But sport has a way of doing this sometimes.
Just over four years have past since the city of New Orleans, already the
8th poorest in America, was destroyed by Hurricane Katrina which led to
80% of the city being flooded, in some parts up to 15 feet deep, and a
total of 1,464 people having died. Many people took shelter in the Saints’
Louisiana Superdome Stadium, but with a lack of power and water even the
shelter was unable to protect them from adversity following unconfirmed
reports of gang activity, drug dealing, sexual abuse and ultimately death.
Amid controversies over the failure of the government to protect its citizens,
the aftermath saw the city become overrun with looting, armed robberies
and violent behaviour as police were unable to contend with both the
rescue operation and crime, and the team was forced to play some of
their home games 500 miles away in San Antonio due to the state of
disrepair the Superdome had encountered. The Saints, as well as the city
as a whole, was in ruins.
Fast forward just over four years and the Saints, somehow, had made it
to the first Super Bowl in their history. Going up against one of the great
Quarterbacks in the league today in Peyton Manning, the Saints found
themselves trailing 10-0 after the first quarter. The dream appeared to be
over.
But like any triumph-over-adversity story, early setbacks merely make the
eventual success seem so much greater. Drew Brees, voted Most Valuable
Player after equalling the all time Super Bowl record with 32 passes for
288 yards and two touchdowns, led the way as the Saints clawed their
way back from the depths of defeat. Garrett Hartley became the first man
in Super Bowl history to convert three field goals over 40 yards. Everyone
did their bit, and as a team they pushed on, with their ambition and guts
never being more evident than their successful execution of an onside kick
at the start of the second half. The Saints were not about to be denied.
And so it came, with the Saints fighting their way to a 24-17 lead, what
will surely become the defining moment of this years event. The usually
faultless Colts’ Quarterback Manning misplaced his pass as Tracy Porter
picked it off and ran 74 yards for the interception touchdown. Three
minutes remaining, two touchdowns ahead. The Saints had overcome
everything that was thrown at them; adversity in a sporting sense and
tragedy in a personal one.
Of course, this victory will not erase the memories of the disaster of
Hurricane Katrina, nor should it. But finally, finally, the city of New Orleans
has been given something to cheer about after so much heartache over
the last few years.
Ed. Note- This was due to be in the previous edition but did not make the
deadline due to technical difficulties. I apologise for the delay in giving the
Super Bowl the article it deserves!
 53
Call Me a Convert
by David Holt
It took me almost half a minute of
seeing the first advert for the 2010
Winter Olympics for me to write it off.
I dismissed it as one of those things
that comes by every-now-and-again
that half the country’s population
become experts on despite their
experience of the Games coming from
“Cool Runnings”. But in the space
of just a few days I became exactly
one of those people I despised, and
I became absolutely hooked on the
Winter Olympics.
From the stunning city of Vancouver
in Western Canada, a part of the
world that I can personally attest to
as having some of the friendliest and
down to Earth people in some of the
most beautiful areas on the planet, it
seems crazy to think that I was willing
to write these Olympics off. Even after
disaster struck in the early stages
with the tragic death of 21 year old
Georgian athlete Nodar Kumaritashvili,
these Games still managed to offer a
spectacle for the times in the Great
White North.
These were the biggest and certainly
the best winter Olympics I can
remember, and with so many of the
athletes and sports standing out it
seems harsh to just mention a few in
the space of this column. American
Snowboarder and Carrot Top look-a-
like Shaun White wowed the crowds
with moves that shouldn’t be possible
for, you know, a human being, and
sports such as the Men’s Ski Cross
(aptly named “demolition derby on
skis” by a commentator) and Biathlon
(I don’t know if I will ever work out why
someone thought it would be a good
idea to combine cross country, skiing
and rifle shooting in to one sport)
being just two that stick out. And of
course, who could possibly forget
Marion Rolland’s fantastic fall just
THREE SECONDS in to her attempt
at the Women’s Downhill Skiing at
Whistler?
But after all this, this Olympics truly
did belong to the home country of
Canada. They may have waited longer
than they would have wished for a gold,
but when Alexandre Bilodeau nailed
his run at the brilliantly named Men’s
Moguls Freestyle Skiing the place
came absolutely unglued. Bilodeau
had become the first Canadian to win
a gold medal on home soil. And then
the medals just kept on coming…
With the medals piling up to an all time
high for the Canucks, the Men’s Ice
Hockey team took to the ice for their
final against arch nemesis USA in a
match which can only be understood in
our terms as England versus Germany
in the World Cup Final at Wembley.
For the Canadian’s, this one is huge.
With an audience of 30 million and
people paying $10,000 for a ticket,
the Canadians took an early 2-0 lead,
only to see their dreams scarpered
as the resilient American’s drew level
with just 24 seconds remaining on
the clock. The game went to overtime
with both teams struggling to break
down the other until Sidney Crosby,
Canadian hockey’s poster boy and the
man to take ice hockey in to the new
decade hit back at his critics after a
quiet Olympics to smash home the
winner and send the home nation in
to a frenzy.
A little closer to home, talk is picking
up of building a winter sports venue
in Britain following the collection of
just one medal in Vancouver as even
our Curling team, with whom we
apparently had high hopes after their
gold four years ago, didn’t make the
semi finals. This left the undoubted
high point of the games for Team GB
to come from Amy Williams, who took
home gold in the Skeleton event, just
another in the long line of incredibly
cool event names.
Williams had a real storybook
background coming in to the Olympics,
as after not making it in to the British
team for her preferred event of 400m
in athletics she began training for the
Winter Olympics after being impressed
with the Skelton in the 2002 Games.
Despite her best efforts, she didn’t
even make the team in 2006, but
through grit, determination and hard
work Williams had made it as she
smashed all other times and claimed
gold, proving that everybody can get a
second, or even a third, chance.
Indeed, these Games battled against
the lowest of the low when tragedy
struck and managed to still turn
out what was easily the best Winter
Olympics I have ever seen. Don’t
worry, if you didn’t manage to catch
any of this year’s event, there’s only
four years to wait until the next one.
I won’t be so keen to write it off next
time around.
The 2010 Olympics,
through the eyes of a ‘Canuck’
The inside story on the
Vancouver Olympics from
Calgary native Valerie Larner.
What a great time we had in
the past 15 days, and the
events leading up to.
  The torch relay, started
October 30th, travelled through
our huge and diverse country
for 106 days travelling trough
1000 communities uniting
Canadians. The Canadian
Torch Relay was the longest
in Olympic history. What a
thrill to see the flame, and
experience the national pride as it was passed from participant to
participant. People from all walks of life participated in this great
event.   
Canadians, who are regarded as polite understated people, became
very vocal and exuberant not ashamed at showing their national
pride - we wanted medals.  Although in great Canadian tradition we
cheered for all the athletes and respected the time and energy that
was invested by athletes, coaches and families alike. And for the ones
who made the medals -it wasn’t just the athletes on those podiums. 
We cheered for the athletes and we cried with/for them as well. 
Vancouver was a great host city. Thousands of volunteers from all over
Canada helped to make the athletes and visitors feel at home for their
Vancouver Olympic experience. These volunteers will also be sharing
their great skills for hosting at the Paralympics. 
Our medal standings are the best in our history. 14 gold - the most
earned by any home country in either the winter or summer games. Our
hockey pride in Canada is HUGE.  Both our women and men’s team
earned Gold – beating out USA, our main competitors. USA is our
“brothers in arms, but not on the ice” 
In closing; 
“Go Canada Go” 
Would you like to contribute to the
Sports Section for The Stag? Getting
your article printed couldn’t be easier-
either visit www.thestagsurrey.co.uk
or email Sports Editor David Holt at
sports@thestagsurrey.co.uk with your
article and we’ll do the rest! Your article
can cover any sport from as nearby as
the university to as far away as the World
Cup and can be written in any style you
wish. Your thoughts- your article.

Wading Through to Save the Day
by Emma Reading
It has already been a season of injuries for the ladies team this season,
but no-one was prepared for the final blow, when Rosie Hill, the Captain
for the 2009/2010 season had to retire due to injury.
Rosie Hill, 20, was the University of Surrey Ladies Football Team Captain for
the both the 2008/2009 and 2009/2010 seasons. After obtaining an injury to
her neck and shoulder during a match in October, Rosie has been fighting the
unavoidable decision of resignation as Captain, until now. “It was the hardest
decision I’ve ever had to make,” she explains, “Giving up the thing you love
most and a chance to socialise with people you think a lot of isn’t easy, so now
I try not to think about it in the hope I won’t miss being part of the team.”
The rest of the team has found it hard to lose such a valuable player, as well
as a great leader, but they now have a new Captain to admire and aspire to
be like. Holly Wade, 19, a level one Maths student at the University of Surrey
was elected by Rosie herself as the new Women’s Football Team Captain.
As a player who only joined the club in September, it shows how much she
was valued by her predecessor, who explained her decision by saying, “I think
she’s an extremely talent player and has the potential to be a great leader
and I never had any doubt in my mind that she would be anything other than
an excellent Captain.” The confidence expressed by Rosie in to such a new
player inspired me to find
out more.
Although Holly has only been
playing for the University of
Surrey for five months, the
Essex teenager used to
play for her local club the
Hannakins Ladies Football
Club and has been playing
football since the age of 8.
The right footed midfielder’s
statistics show her skills
as she scored 26 goals
last season for Hannakins
LFC. In the last few months, Holly has impressed her team mates with her
football talents, but taking on such a huge role is a different board game. On
Wednesday 3rd February, Holly led the ladies team to their first match of 2010
and her first match as Captain, away at Canterbury Christchurch. Unfortunately
for them, it was unsuccessful result which led to their Cup run ending, but it
54
seems that there are more
pressing matters on Holly’s
mind; “It has been quite
difficult keeping on top of
my new responsibilities
within the team, particularly
with regard to choosing the
team for our matches and
organising transport etc.”
As Captain, Holly has to
arrange training, coaches,
team for matches and
transportation to the away games. Although she has help from the rest of the
committee, including Melissa Edwards as Chairman and Emma Reading as
Treasurer, the main decisions are reliant on herself. The main difficulty Holly
is facing is the lack of players that are available for matches. Out of a squad
of around 22 people, the average attendance for training is 10 and this is the
same for match day attendance. The problem is proving to be very frustrating
for the new Captain who expresses her opinions on the situation by saying,
“Realistically the problem should be that I have too many players fighting for
each position, but unfortunately it is difficult to even get a team of 11 together
due to lack of commitment and enthusiasm in the team.” This problem is one
that was faced by Rosie when she was still Captain and it is only through her
beliefs in Holly as a Captain that she was able to resign with sound peace of
mind, “If it wasn’t for Holly’s presence in the team, I wouldn’t have been able
to make the decision to leave” Hill explains.
Holly and the other committee members are already making plans to try and
recapture the enthusiasm and ambition that was shown at the beginning of
the season in order to try and creep back up the league table.
With four games left of the season and a vital twelve points at stake it seems
Holly still has a long way to go to get this team back to where it was in October,
but with the confidence shown by Rosie and by the team, there seems to be
little doubt that it won’t achieved by Wade!
To follow the University of Surrey Ladies Football Team, you can do so by
visiting www.bucs.org.uk, and selecting the University of Surrey, Football,
Women, Women’s 1st options under the fixtures and results category.

In this feature I’ll meet with people from
University sports teams to try and gain an
insight in to their sport. This week I met “The
Italian Stallion” Luke Vercella, a member of
the Ultimate Frisbee team.
How many people are involved in Ultimate
Frisbee at University of Surrey?
We have around 40 members, both men
and women
What ability level are you all at?
We are competitive in all variants, be it
indoor, outdoor, women’s, mixed and open
- we regularly compete at national level.
Last weekend we won division two mixed If anyone is interested in joining, how
nationals! do they get involved in playing Ultimate
Inside Sport
With David Holt
How often do you play, be it training, Frisbee at Surrey Uni?
matches or whatever?
Simple! Come and join in on NatWest field
We train on Wednesday outdoors and Sunday on a Wednesday (2-4) and just throw a disc
indoors and enter multiple tournaments about with us, or if the weather is not so
each year - we are reaching the end of the great then wait until Sunday where we will
university ultimate season so we are looking be in UniSport (12-2.30) we don’t bite so
ahead to the summer and to “open tour” just say hi.
where we enter as Guildford Ultimate.
Would you like to be interviewed and get
What is the social life like and how often the important information about your sport
do you go out? out there? Email David Holt at sports@
thestagsurrey.co.uk if you would and we can
Ultimate is a social sport and we usually hit organise an interview for future editions.
the pub after training and go out every other
Wednesday
55
Your Comments Results
Once again I sift through the mailbag and find out what is on the Once again the results are in Buckinghamshire Men’s 1st 3-3
minds of the University of Surrey students in the world of sport. for the university sports teams, Surrey Men’s 2nd (24th February
with this weeks Result of 2010)
“Vancouver 2010: Severely disappointed with the curling the Week going to the Men’s
performances, I stayed up till 01:30 watching it and we still lost!!!” Fencing team, who managed Royal Holloway Women’s 3rd
David Pugh on the Winter Olympics to continue their excellent form 12-0 Surrey Women’s 2nd (24th
this season (just one defeat February 2010)
“Is it only me who doesn’t “get” the Winter Olympics? It’s harmless
all year) by overcoming Brunel
fun, but people will have forgotten about it in a weeks time. Surrey Women’s 1st 1-4 Merton
Anonymous University 135-103. Contact
me on sports@thestagsurrey. Ladies 2nd (27th February 2010)
“If the Olympic Games is all about liberty and opportunism, why co.uk and let me know why you
think your team deserves Result Surrey Men’s 2nd 2-3 Old
did the organisers persist in surrounding the flame with a chain-
link fence? Potential security scares are not an excuse for such a of the Week for next week’s Cranleighans Men’s 4th (27th
disheartening symbol of what was otherwise a fantastic Games.” issue. February 2010)
Ben Pook, News Editor
Badminton Netball
“Why is everyone going overboard about Portsmouth going in
to administration? Loads of teams in the Football League have Royal Holloway Women’s 8-0 Reading 3rd 39-35 Surrey 2nd
problems but no-one cares because it’s only the Premiership people Surrey Women’s (24th February (17th February 2010)
are bothered about.” 2010)
Lewis, on Portsmouth becoming the first Premier League side to ever Rugby
go in to administration. Basketball
St George Men’s 1st 13-5
“Wayne Bridge is loving the attention around the whole Terry thing. Surrey Men’s 59-80 Surrey Men’s 1st (17th February
It’s sad for the guy but all that not shaking his hand business and 2010)
quitting England seems a bit excessive”
Portsmouth Men’s (17th
Anonymous, on Bridge’s reaction to former England captain John February 2010)
Imperial College Men’s 2nd
Terry sleeping with his ex-girlfriend. 17-22 Surrey Men’s 1st (24th
Medway Women’s 30-45
Surrey Women’s 1st (17th February 2010)
“I think Sorenson from Stoke City deserves to be in the team. I
checked the Opta and Actim charts for saves ratios and he was the February)
Surrey Women’s 1st 31-10 LSE
best goalkeeper in the Premier League. He is consistently up the top.
I would also place Rory Delap in the team. Of course, his long throw- Fencing Women’s 1st (24th February
ins are brilliant and have saved Stoke loads of times and won them 2010)
points. His throws can get goals against teams like Chelsea and Surrey Men’s 135-103 Brunel
Manchester City and I would definitely want him in my team. Just Men’s (24th February 2010) Squash
imagine what he could do in Europe lol and in the World Cup. They
can’t handle him.” Football Birmingham Men’s 1st 5-0
Phill Berriman on the previous editions “Under-Rated Premiership XI” Surrey Men’s 1st (17th February
St Mary’s Men’s 4th 0-4 Surrey 2010)
Ed. Note- Delap for England? You heard it here first! Men’s 1st (24th February 2010)
Surrey Men’s 2nd 5-0 Brunel
“England have been hopeless in the 6 Nations this year. Wilkinson Surrey Women’s 1st 1-11 Men’s 2nd (17th February 2010)
only makes the team on name value and apart from his kicking some Brunel Women’s 2nd (17th
of his play has been woeful. Time to step aside I reckon.” Buckinghamshire Men’s 1st 0-3
Anonymous, on England’s less than impressive form in the RBS Six
February 2010)
Surrey Men’s 2nd (24th February
Nations 2010)
Hockey
Are you sick of all the fuss around John Terry and Wayne Bridge? Tennis
Did you “get” the Winter Olympics? Are you annoyed at the lack Sussex Women’s 1st 0-2 Surrey
of coverage for your sport? Email your thoughts to sports@ Women’s 1st (17th February
2010) Royal Holloway Women’s 1st
thestagsurrey.co.uk or leave a comment on www.thestagsurrey.co.uk
6-4 Surrey Women’s 1st (17th
and get your opinion heard. And remember- you can stay anonymous
if you wish! Surrey Men’s 2nd 2-3 February 2010)
Portsmouth Men’s 3rd (17th
February 2010) Are we missing your team’s
results? Contact sports@

AGM
Walton & Weybridge Men’s thestagsurrey.co.uk and keep
Name of Society: Requested Time: 2nd 3-3 Surrey Men’s 1st (20th us updated with how your team
Cheerleading 6.15 February 2010) are doing!

Old Reigatian Men’s 2nd 4-0

Requested Date: Preferred Location: Surrey Men’s 2nd (20th February
2010)
23/3/10 Sports Hall
See you in a fortnight!