Denise Duffield Thomas Lucky Bitch Book

Lucky Bitch
A very special welcome to readers of How to Brilliant at Public Speaking by the fabulously
talented lucky bitch, Sarah Lloyd-Hughes. Im honoured to be included in the launch for this
great book and give you this gift of my special little eBook Lucky Bitch.
I wish you the very best of luck in becoming absolutely brilliant at public speaking and taking
your talents out into the world. I cant wait to see what you manifest in your life.
If youd like more gifts from me, please visit www.luckybitchbook.com/bonus.html
Denise Duffield-Thomas 2011

www.DeniseDuffieldThomas.com
Table of Contents
Introduction ........................................................................ 4
The Ultimate Job .................................................................. 7
The 10 Lucky Bitch Commandments ..................................23
Start with forgiveness ..................................................................................................................23
Get over yourself..........................................................................................................................28
Be grateful ....................................................................................................................................32
Treat yourself like a VIP ...............................................................................................................34
Get your boobs on board .............................................................................................................36
Some people will think you suck, get over it ...............................................................................37
Good is good enough ...................................................................................................................41
Create your own karma ...............................................................................................................43
Manifesting is a muscle ................................................................................................................44
Luck is an inside game ..................................................................................................................45
Get bonus chapters and audios at www.LuckyBitchBook.com/bonus.html
Lucky Bitch
Your Lucky, Lucky Career .................................................. 47

Lucky people work to their strengths. .........................................................................................48
Dancers, Singers and Actors ..........................................................................................51
Artists, Sculptors and other Creatives .............................................................................54
Writers, Coaches and Entrepreneurs ..............................................................................56
Lucky in Love .................................................................... 58

A Great Relationship Can Double Your Luck ................................................................................61
Dealing with breakups .................................................................................................................63
You deserve love ..........................................................................................................................66
Abundantly Lucky .............................................................. 67

Working hard is not enough ........................................................................................................68
We show the Universe how to treat us .......................................................................................70
A lucky windfall wont solve your money problems ....................................................................70
Asking for what you want ............................................................................................................72
Overcoming money blocks ...........................................................................................................73
Exceptionally good health .................................................. 77

Diets dont work ...........................................................................................................................77
Theres no magic ..........................................................................................................................82
Release your fears ........................................................................................................................83
Be happy now...............................................................................................................................84
Extreme Self-Care Makeover .......................................................................................................85
Its ok to change ...........................................................................................................................86
Three Lucky Bitches .......................................................... 88

Anna Rogers: Founder of Miss Eco Glam .....................................................................................88
Emma MacDougall, Raw Food Scotland ......................................................................................89
My final wish for you ......................................................... 92
Introduction
You lucky bitch! You outrageously successful woman! You scream success,
happiness, health and vitality. Lucky bitch! is a refrain we hear often in our society, often
with thinly disguised envy wrapped in humour. But dont worry by the end of this book,
youll be full embracing your absolutely awesome good luck.
Do you already consider yourself a lucky person or are you reading this book to get
some much needed ideas about how to improve your fortune? Either is totally okay.
The truth is we can all consciously create luck in our own lives, not entirely by hard
work and perspiration as the refrain goes, but with a combination of the right kind of effort,
plus an unwavering belief that we deserve to experience the highest levels of love,
abundance, good health and personal success.
Make this realisation and the results can be astounding.
However, I havent been specially selected by the Universe any more than the next
person. Theres nothing particularly unusual about me, I wasnt born under a lucky star, I
didnt grow up wealthy and I havent yet won the lottery.
In fact, some of us have not had the most auspicious starts in life and there were
times indeed in my life where I was downright unlucky. There have been times when I was
down to my last dollar, when I struggled with finding a fulfilling career path and times when I
honestly felt like the potential deep inside me was to be forever lost.
Yet, since those days of dark despair, the most extraordinary things keep happening
to me. Ive become unbelievably lucky. Opportunities seem to be attracted to me and crazy
synchronicities have become a regular occurrence. Bank errors in my favour, all-expenses
paid travel around the world, the right mentors and courses along with the money to pay
them, even winning at Bingo it all seemed magical.
At first I thought it was random, but it happened with such regularity that I had to take
a second look at what I was doing to attract this good fortune to me. Then I started coaching
other women in similar situations, and also began happening to them. I get emails all the
time that start with Denise, youre never going to believe what happened;.
Suddenly, people are attracting dream jobs, pay increases, free flights, new
relationships and increased levels of happiness for no apparent reason.
Lucky Bitch
The world around all of us is changing. Many of us are awaking to the possibility of
being the Director in our own lives. We realise that we dont have to accept what were
given, but that reality is highly malleable. We are indeed responsible for our own
circumstances.
It's like we are remembering who we are. Many of us are turning away from old belief
systems like we are shrugging off an old coat. None of our revelations are new. Instead it's
like this version of happiness we were promised long ago simply doesnt make sense any
more.
What lucky bitches we are! Its becoming so easy today to find the information we
need to unlock these secrets and keep our positivity high. New leaders are emerging.
Concepts of manifestation and the Law of Attraction have become mainstream. Thanks to
the power of the internet, we are able to find our like-minded tribes worldwide, and share
what we know with each other.
Im so grateful that I can be part of this movement, to be a living, breathing example
of what you can do when you harness your own power and decide to live in your own reality.
This is not a book where I just brag about my accomplishments and how astoundingly lucky
Ive become. Well, not; entirely. My genuine wish is that youre inspired by the luck me and
my clients have been able to harness, because trust me its not random.
This book is designed to inspire you to take action in areas of your life that may be
lacking some magic. Some concepts are familiar, and some may be new, but I invite you to
take them all a new level that you have always dreamed for your life. What else could be
possible for you?
Youll learn some very practical techniques to exponentially increase your luck. Youll
also learn some wonderful metaphysical concepts which produce amazing results in the real
world and make your day to day life much more fun and fulfilling.
However, never presume the results are 100% predictable. When you set an
intention to change your life, it will happen. Always. Not always in the way you expected, but
always in the way you asked for. The Universe is ridiculously literal. The time frame
however, is unknown. The Universe is a complex machine. We do not yet know the exact
chain of events we put into motion when we send out a request. We can only trust that weve
been heard, and trust we will be taken care of.
I believe we wont need these rituals in the future in order to manifest our hearts
desire. In the meantime, we do; perhaps as a pathway for us to believe we can do it.
As you read this book ask yourself constantly What do I really want for myself?.
Some chapters might bring up some emotion for you. Disbelief or impatience. Perhaps
frustration, anger or resentment. If this happens, put your hand on your heart and affirm
Good things are happening for me too, I am ready for the next step. Do that every day for a
month and youll be astounded at what the Universe brings you.
The truth is, were all capable of becoming unbelievably lucky. Its possible to choose
to become that lucky bitch, and to see the doors of opportunity open automatically for you.
As I was writing this, I was drawn to picking some writing music. The famous Barbara
Streisand song How Lucky Can You Get was the first song that caught my eye; the version
from one of my favourite musicals Hot Shoe Shuffle. I wasnt even aware of the awesome
synchronicity as I started dancing around my living room, I just love any excuse to dance.
As the song finished, I realised was I was singing a song all about gratitude,
abundance, luck and loving life. Isnt that fabulous? Another message from the Universe. I
get them all the time and I always express my thanks for how marvellously Im taken care of.
We all are, all the time. We just need our eyes opened every once in a while.
This book is designed to give you everything you need to become more consciously
aware of what you are attracting into your life and start directing your energies to becoming
luckier in the things that matter most to you whether thats in love, money, business,
relationships or health.
There is enough for everyone. Just because you become a luck magnet doesnt
mean that someone else in your life will have to go without. Nor will my supreme luckiness
suck up all your luck too. There is enough for us all. We have an ocean of abundance, of
luck and of good fortune. You can choose to be lucky or unlucky. The Universe doesnt
distinguish; it just gives you exactly what you ask for.
Im so excited for you!
Denise Duffield-Thomas
Success Magnet
Lucky Bitch
The Ultimate Job

I want to share the whole story with you of how I won the Ultimate Job competition,
because it really is an unbelievable tale. There is something in this for everyone, so even if
you've heard it before, I want you to read it with new eyes. There is a lot of information here
that Ive never shared publicly until now, and it really illustrates how good luck and hard
work can combine to attract absolutely anything you want in life.
Heres the short version. In 2010, my husband Mark and I won a social media
competition to travel around the world for free, reviewing honeymoon destinations all over
the globe. Places of sheer luxury, of blinding adventure. It was all expenses paid plus we got
paid a salary. Awesome, right?
We travelled to 12 different countries over six months. Tropical islands and the
beating heart of the desert. Luxurious resorts and hotels. We experienced them all, and in
return we had to write about it and make videos. Its a dream job.
We started in New York, visiting the fabulous and the famous; like the WaldorfAstoria and the Empire State Building. Next on to Kenya and a safari, meeting real life
Masai warriors and seeing elephants and lions in the wild. We stayed in private villas in
Mauritius and Zanzibar; in some locations we had a butler and a personal chef. We
traversed Malta, Spain, Jordan, Ireland, the UK, Indonesia, Thailand and finally topped it all
off in beautiful Queensland, Australia. It was unbelievable, right?
Of course it was hard work, and not a total holiday, but obviously a small price to pay
for an unbelievable opportunity. Most people would absolutely kill for it.
Was it a fluke? No, it was not. I believe I completely manifested the opportunity into
my life. I used the Law of Attraction techniques to actually win it. You can manifest
opportunities, but you also have to win them and take action to actually achieve them.
Ive been interested in personal development since I was about fourteen, when I
walked into a second-hand book shop and I found an amazing book called The Magic of
Believing. Its all about creating your reality with your thoughts and feelings. This was news
to me. I grew up with a single mum in an area that, whilst a positive environment, it wasnt
particularly inspiring. It wasnt stretching me to grow and to be a better person. So, at that
age, when I read about goal setting and the power of positivity, I was absolutely blown away.
The seed had been deposited, and would germinate many years later.
Whilst at University, I attended personal development seminars like Tony Robbins

Unleash the Power Within and walked on hot coals while thousands of people shouted and
pumped their fists.
I also read hundreds of motivational books. These kept me positive, but they weren't
really changing anything for the better in my life. I got good jobs here and there, but regularly
sabotaged myself, and didnt earn very much money. I started businesses and
entrepreneurial ventures, but these didnt really work out. Again, I didnt really make any
money out of these endeavours.
I felt like all that positivity and all those personal development books and seminars
werent really doing me any good in reality. It was disappointing, and I thought there must
have been something wrong with me. I was really searching for something more. I wanted to
prove to the world that I was exceptional, but I was lost. I was afraid that I was worse than
ordinary.
Several years ago I watched the movie The Secret, and became determined that I
was going to do something different. I set an intention to find a mentor and very quickly
found a lady called Karen Knowler, who is a fantastic raw food and business coach in the
United Kingdom. She was starting off a six-month business course and I knew that I really,
really wanted to work with her.
I was listening to Karen speak on a podcast and I got this tingly feeling all over my
body. Something was whispering Yes! to me, so I got a bank loan to do the course. I felt
absolutely moved to do it.
Karen asked us to write down our ideal day the first day of the seminar. Id never
done this exercise before and I think its a really good one if youre wondering where to start.
I described a day where my husband, Mark and I would wake up in a beautiful bed
and the sun would stream in the window. We would get up, do yoga together, have a
beautiful, luxurious breakfast and then we go out exploring. And occasionally, we might
check our laptops and do a little bit of work. But our time was free and we were allowed to do
whatever we wanted.
There was a bit of silence after that because what I described wasnt really anything
concrete. It was a very idealistic dream. But Karen, being a very open-minded person, was
very encouraging.
Lucky Bitch
I knew it seemed unrealistic because of where I was at that time in my life. I was
working in a job that I didnt love. I was unhealthy. I was living in London and I was getting
increasingly depressed about the weather and my financial situation. I was engaged to Mark
and although that was working out really well for me I wouldnt say the rest of my life was a
success, despite all the books Id read.
On the outside, I probably looked like I was a very positive person, but on the inside I
didnt feel like I was achieving anything.
A few months after that day with Karen, Mark and I got married and went on
honeymoon and it was exactly like I described in my perfect day exercise. We got up with
the sun shining, did yoga together and explored all day long. It was three of the most
beautiful and relaxing weeks in Singapore, Indonesia and Australia. We were blissfully in our
love bubble.
One evening in Indonesia, we stayed in a beautiful location, our room high in the sky
on stilts. It was beautifully balmy, and above us the pitch-black night covered with a million
shining stars. I stood there and I said, Universe, I want more of this in my life. This is what I
want. Bring it to me. And I consciously anchored that experience down into the ground, and
into the earth. I wanted to remember that experience, and come back to it when I wanted to.
We had an incredible honeymoon, but then we had to go back to London. Bah! I
wasnt feeling great about it, but I knew that I had to focus on what I wanted, and not what I
didnt want. So, I started telling everybody who would listen that Mark and I were going
travelling again. I would say Were going to go travelling for six months next year. Im really
excited about it. Its going to be amazing.
And people would ask, Oh, really? Cool! Where you are going to go?
Oh, I dont know yet. Well figure it out. Somewhere sunny.
This happened for about six months where I just kept on holding the vision of myself;
standing there, under the beautiful night, and knowing that it was going to happen. Going
back to that anchor I had created under the night sky and re-experiencing it through my
imagination.
I set a very specific goal and wrote it on my wall:
6 months travel with Mark
Conferences for free
$3000 a month spending money
I knew how I would do it. Or so I thought. Id write an e-book, or something, and earn
3,000 a month. I thought we could probably travel to conferences for free if we did some
speaking or helping out. It would be just what we would need to go travelling and
backpacking around Asia.
I had that solution in my head, even if I wasnt that attached to it. All I could think
about was actually going travelling. Remembering the warm breeze on my skin, and seeing
the beautiful stars. It kept me going through the cold London winter.
In the New Year, I got a text from my friend, Christina. She said, Ive found your
perfect job. She sent me a link to competition website. And honestly, as soon as I saw it, I
knew that it was for me.
Six months free travel for one lucky couple and the salary? It was 3000 per month.
The second I looked at the website, I said to myself, Oh, my God, this is exactly
what is going to take us travelling. I just knew it from day one.
Mark came home to me babbling about the competition, and I told him we were going
to win it. That was how we were going to go travelling it was a done deal!
And bless his heart, but he just responded with, Okay, lets do it.
He was very supportive, and its incredibly important to tell your dreams to people
who are going to play along with you. He didnt say, Oh, its ridiculous.
We put together an application video that night, but we almost got divorced doing it. It
was one of those experiences where we tried to do it as a team, but I would yell at him
because he wasnt getting it right, then he would yell back at me. We filmed it on my mobile
phone and it was a disaster. Mark had to learn to edit the video very quickly and that was
tough for him as well. He had never done it before.
Lucky Bitch
We almost gave up several times before we even got started. Thats the tragedy. So
many people would have seen that opportunity and not put in an application because they
would have thought, Ah, well, so many people are going to apply. Why would we win?
Theres no point in doing it. Or they would have just given up at that first hurdle.
From those humble beginnings, we won the Ultimate Job. How did we do it? Once
we put in our application, we did absolutely everything we could think of. Every technique
that Ive ever read in any personal development book, we put into practice.
But I think the biggest secret is we kept our eye on the prize. We never, ever, ever
gave up. We constantly and consistently knew that this opportunity was ours. We didnt let
any doubt or fear come into it, nor were we attached to it. I believe that other people who
applied for the competition were very, very attached to it. I wasnt attached to the actual
winning the competition. I thought it was an amazing opportunity. I was going to go for it with
every fibre of my being. But it was the travelling that I wanted, and what I focused on.
Many people find one of the most popular articles on my website, "Can You Win the
Lottery Using the Law of Attraction?. What people do is focus so much on the money
through the lottery that they block other ways that the Universe can bring them the
abundance that they want.
If you think, Yeah, one of my goals is to win the lottery, then focus on what you
would do with the money. Is it because you want to have a magnificent house? Is it because
you want to go travelling around the world? Is it because you want to give money away to
charities? Focus on that, not how its going to come to you.
I came up with a huge list of things that I did to win the Ultimate Job competition
when we were halfway through the trip. I knew I was going to write a book about it, even
before we even officially won it.
I couldnt sleep one night because I wanted to talk about it so much. We were staying
in a retreat in West Bali National Park, and after tossing and turning for hours, I got up in the
middle of the night and took my diary into the bathroom.
I sat and wrote down as many things as I could remember that we did to win the
competition because I knew that I would be able to share it with other people and inspire
them to go for those big, audacious dreams.
Visualise your success

One of the biggest things we did was to visualise ourselves travelling through
airports, on the plane, looking out of the window and feeling so excited we were going to
have so many adventures.
We visualised ourselves winning the actual competition, rehearsing that moment
when they called our names. Mark and I would say to each other, Mark and Denise. Mark
and Denise.
I would dream about it on my commute to work. Every time we saw each other at
home, we would say, Mark and Denise. Mark and Denise. We visualised ourselves telling
people about it, saying, Oh, my God, youre never going to guess what happened. We won.
How exciting!
We visualised ourselves in sunny countries, waking up with the sun streaming
through our bedroom, doing early morning yoga and just having that beautiful, relaxing time
together. As many times as I could during the day, I visualised all these happening. And I
have to say I probably wasnt the best employee at this time because all I could think about
was travelling.
The Law of Attraction teachings tell us that thinking is not enough. Its not enough
just to write down your goals. You have to feel it. You have to get into that space of living it.
And I did. I would sit there looking out at the grey London sky, but in my mind and in my
heart, I was miles away, every cell of my being lying on a beach with the sun on my body. I
got myself into that space every single day.
I read a fantastic book called The Little Book of Affirmations, which are affirmations
in the form or a question. Instead of the usual ones like I am happy and healthy, they are
changed to Why am I so happy and healthy? Why am I so lucky? Why am I about to go off
on a great adventure? This makes your brain start to come up with the reasons why. The
very reasons which begin to change your reality, just by asking simple questions.
A key shift for me was having a greater purpose for winning. I never thought, Well,
wouldnt it be nice to have a free holiday? I was thinking, This is going to change my life. I
am going to tell so many people and its going to change their lives as well. This is going to
have a ripple effect throughout the Universe. I had a big reason for it. It was hugely
emotional for me.
Lucky Bitch
I would stand at my train station, in my winter coat and rehearse the speech I would
give at conferences after we won the competition. I knew that this served a greater purpose
for me. I was asking the Universe for business ideas. I was asking the Universe for book
ideas before wed even started talking about travelling. I knew it was an amazing opportunity
which I could leverage for the rest of my life. I knew it would be proof of the things that Id
been talking about for so many years. It would launch my career as an author, a speaker
and an entrepreneur. So I was giving that speech about what I learnt and how I won the
Ultimate Job, before I had even won it.
I knew I was going to write this book, before we won it.
I told so many people, Were going to win it. As soon as I found out about the
competition, I would say to people, Were going to win it. And then we got into the Top 50,
and Id say, I think were going to win it. And then, Ive just got this feeling that were going
to win it, And friends began to mirror what I already believed. They too started to believe.
Then I did some really practical things. I scheduled it in my calendar. I looked at
when the trip was going to start and finish. I blocked it out the days with Travelling on the
Ultimate Job.
This was really important. Ive used this technique in other ways before, because if
theres something that you really want to go to; a conference, a holiday or a particular date
that you want to have in your diary, then just block it out. Energetically, youre making space.
I had people saying, Oh, are you going to go to that conference next year?
Id say, Oh, actually, were going to be on the Ultimate Job, so no.
It allowed me to look at things that were happening over the next six months, to look
at what problems could come up. For example, I saw that we were going to have to miss
somebodys wedding. I energetically got used to that. I also got used to the idea that wed
also be away for our first anniversary and my birthday.
It also made me look at other practical considerations. Wed have to rent out our
apartment, find a new home for our cats and budget really carefully to make sure we could
still pay for our credit card bills while we were away.
This might sound really premature, but one of the things I teach people is to declutter
yourself mentally, emotionally and physically. A lot of those problems would have just been
held energetically over my head. Who knows, I could have blocked the opportunity because I
had all of these worries. This is a powerful manifestation technique, moving forward as if
its already done.
Aside from doing a lot of visualisation, and putting the important things in our
calendar, we started looking at the practical implications of winning. In the meantime, the
judges were selecting fifty couples out of the 30,000 entrants to go into the next round. The
morning that they were announcing it, I actually had a dream that we were in the Top fifty.
We woke up and it didnt come to any surprise to either of us when we saw that we had
made it. We both just felt so aligned to the opportunity and all we had to do was to get into
the right space to receive it.
We started looking at what else we could do to show the Universe that we were really
serious. So I decided to make an Ultimate Job dream board. I thought of all the places I
wanted to visit. . I took pictures. I made a collage and I printed it out. I made it my desktop on
my computer both at home and at work so every time I turned on my computer I saw it.
I changed my work password to Ultimate Job Winner, so I had to write it at least ten
times a day. Every time I did, it just gave me that little jolt of thinking, Yes, Im going to win
this. Yes, its mine.
I also changed Marks name in my mobile phone to "Mark Ultimate Job Buddy."
Every time he called me, this would appear and Id think the same thing all over again.
A couple of times a day, Mark and I would send messages just to say, Isnt it going
to be amazing when were travelling around the world for free, going to sunny countries
every day, doing whatever it is that we want to do? How exciting is this going to be? And
every time we did that, it would again jolt us, bringing us to that same place of feeling the
win. Every spare moment that I had, we would excitedly reaffirm it all to ourselves.
At no point did I let doubt or fear enter my thoughts. I focused on what it would feel
like to win and have that freedom.
I also started using my journal to write down the ideal day again but with more
specific details about the Ultimate Job. I also wrote down things like, I am the Ultimate Job
winner. I won the Ultimate Job. How exciting that I won this Ultimate Job!, It was a process
of constant reinforcement.
I dont want you to think that all we did was visualise. It wasn't purely metaphysical.
The dream gave us the courage to take action. This was the key. This was what was so
important about it.
Lucky Bitch
Nothing is really ever going to happen if you just sit around and wish for it. We knew
that we had to take some real and solid action, far out of our comfort zones. So we coldcalled newspapers and radio stations, to try and get our own press and PR.
That was one of the things that the judges were looking for when we got to the top
fifty. They wanted to see how active you were on generating press and using social media. I
did things Ive never had the guts to do before.
The next stage was selecting ten couples to compete in the final. We didnt want to
take any chances, so leading up to the announcement we spent time making little videos,
and making sure the judges knew who we were.
When we made it in the top ten, we were just so thrilled and excited. It was fantastic
to see that we were getting closer and closer to our dreams. The Universe was just saying,
Yes, yes, yes.
Again, no time to rest. We knew we had to take it one step further.
We had to prepare ourselves quite a lot for the final. We wanted to make sure that
we were the most prepared couple there. Destiny is one thing but being prepared is always
as important. When destiny comes knocking, you don't want to be caught in your underwear,
do you?
We thought, Okay, its going to be a whole weekend of challenges with nine other
couples. What could they possibly get us to do?
We brainstormed everything. We thought they might test us on geography. They
might test us on things about Ireland, our location at the time. We thought perhaps the town
we were staying in, Dublin, and about their company. We researched everything, just like
you would for any job interview. We made sure that we were prepared and ready. And
believe me, we were.
We went walking every morning together before work. There, we e would test each
other on questions about geography and about ourselves. We would practice our answers. If
the judges were going to ask us, Why do you want to win this competition? Why do you
think youre the best couple? What is each others best strengths and weaknesses? We
knew it all.
What else could we do to show the Universe that we were ready to go on this trip?
We decided to do something quite drastic.
One of the downsides to potentially winning the competition was having to rent out
our apartment. We decided that being in the top ten meant we were one step closer, so we
wanted to show we were serious.
We started advertising our apartment to prospective tenants. It paid off, and just
before the final weekend we found two girls who wanted to rent it for six months.
This is where you might be thinking, Denise, thats not a great idea.. Why would you
do that when you werent 100 percent guaranteed you were going to win?
I knew that even though we had no Plan B, on the remote possibility we didnt win the
competition I knew that I wanted to change my life so badly that I was willing to move
anyway. I was willing to do what it took to get out of that place that I didnt like any more. So
for me, there was no risk; there was no downside. But just to be safe, the weekend before
we left for the Ultimate Job final, we had the two girls come over to sign the contract and
give us their rental deposit.
I said to them, Look, were going away for the weekend, so Im not going to bank this
check until we get back on Monday. But in the meantime, its yours, and heres the contract.
I just knew, regardless, that we were going to move.
Another audacious move was telling both our bosses at work as soon as we made it
to the final. We had very mixed reactions to the news.
Marks boss said, Wow, cool. Great opportunity. Of course, you have to go for it. I
dont think his employers quite believed that he was going to win. So it wasnt a big deal for
them.
The reaction of my boss surprised me a lot. I was only working part-time and working
part-time on writing. My boss was not at all supportive. In fact, she was downright nasty
about it. My boss loved travelling, and she had just come back from a holiday in Africa. I
knew that she wanted to go travelling again, so I think the information for her was just too
much to bear. She told me I was irresponsible. She told me she was very disappointed in
me. She focussed on my notice period, something so inconsequential in the grand scheme
of things. She started the silent treatment until we left for the competition.
Not everyones going to be very supportive of the things that you want to do. It could
happen to you when something big happens.
Lucky Bitch
You may have heard me speak about my Yes necklace, which I love. It is a silver
disk necklace with, Yes, on it. I wore it every day just to remind myself that, Yes, I go for
opportunities and yes, this job is going to be mine. So every time I felt unsure about it, I
would just look at my necklace and smile.
I ramped up the visualisations. The movie, What the Bleep Do We Know? talks about
alternate Universes and the theory that every possibility exists at any one time. Sliding
Doors, has the same kind of theme. There could be different versions of you that chose
different things in life.
Somewhere out there is a version of me who is a professional dancer. A version of
me is maybe a rock star or an actress. A version of me is a single mum on welfare. There
are so many different ways that my life could have turned. And quantum physics and
quantum mechanics say that all of those things exist somewhere in a parallel Universe all at
the same time, which is kind of wacky and crazy.
However I decided to use that information to fire up my creative imagination and
make my dreams attractive to the Universe. I thought, Somewhere in the Universe I have
won this competition. It is inevitable that I have won it. It may be a remote probability, but in
one particular Universe it has happened. So all I have to do is find that Universe and just
jump into it. Consciously decide to jump into that possibility as it presents itself.
Remember how Mary Poppins jumps into the chalk drawing on the sidewalk and she
goes into a completely different reality? I shared this with Mark. Im so happy that Mark is the
kind of open-minded guy who didnt think I was mental.
We would hold hands and Id say, Okay, lets jump into the Universe where we have
already won this competition. Lets jump into the Universe where the judges think that we are
the perfect couple for them. Lets just jump into that possibility. And we would physically
jump into it together.
I know that sounds a little crazy, but all of these things compounded to make me feel
that we were going to win the competition. The certainty helped me make those decisions in
the real world like telling my boss that I was quitting my job, making those calls that I needed
to make and really preparing myself for what was to come.
The final job interview
We arrived in Ireland and the first thing we did was to look around the town instead of
going straight to our accommodation or going for a drink. We went to the tourism office and
got a map of the town. We started familiarising ourselves with the town because we didnt
know what else to do to prepare.
First our competition: There were nine other couples and us. One couple had come
from the US, one from Canada, two different couples coming from the UK, five couples were
Irish and one couple comprised of a South African and a Brazilian who lived in Ireland.
We didnt watch any of our competitors videos and I didnt learn much about them.
That might sound a little bit counter-intuitive but I didnt want to psych myself out. I knew my
only real competition on that weekend was myself, and allowing any doubt, fear or anxiety
creep in.
We had people come up to us and go, Ah, youre Mark and Denise! Oh, I love your
videos. And I would be thinking, I dont know who you are. I just wanted to focus
completely on us and made sure that we were speaking to the judges the most.
We were instructed for our first task straight away. There were eight dinner
reservations in town, and ten couples. We needed to figure out clues to find the restaurants
in town. The two couples that didnt find a restaurant went to the fish and chip shop for
dinner. Everyone else received a beautiful dinner.
So Mark and I started straight away. We got out our map from the tourism board that
we had picked up on our earlier traverse across the city. We used Google. We looked at
every restaurant in that town and marked them on our map. Then we jumped on the bus into
town.
I know for a fact that not every couple did this. Some couples hung around, some
had a drink, refreshed their makeup and got ready for the night out. We didnt. We prepared.
Theres always preparation and planning behind luck. Youve heard so many times
that luck is where opportunity and preparation collide, haven't you? Thats what kind of the
lucky bitch philosophy is all about. Its not entirely to do with luck.
We got into the town and were given our clues. We decided to go for the less obvious
options. We ran off through the town. Hilarity ensued. Ten couples literally running through a
small town. Both Mark and I had running shoes on, but some people had high heels because
they were going out for dinner. We found one of the restaurants with the special
reservations, and ticked it off as a success. Two couples could not say the same thing.
Lucky Bitch
It was a similar treasure hunt challenge the next day. We had to find one of the
judges, who was going to be with a radio crew. The first couple that made it to the judge
would get a spot on radio.
Mark and I knew that would be an awesome way to promote ourselves and to show
what we could do. We made sure that we had our map handy, and we worked together as a
team. We were the first couple there. We knew, when the second couple turned up and said
Ugh, the Duffield-Thomass! because we were just starting to quietly but calculatedly trying
to win every challenge.
The biggest challenge was to make two videos throughout the weekend. One was a
promotional video about the town and the other was about the Ultimate Job. We had actually
started working on it already, so we didnt have to start from scratch. This was, in hindsight,
quite a smart thing to do because making those videos was incredibly stressful.
We had to have incredible teamwork, taking turns speaking on the video and editing
until four in the morning. Some of the other couples just went out drinking.
We wanted to make sure that we did absolutely everything for this opportunity and
didnt lose just on a technicality like not getting an assignment in on time. We also wanted to
make sure that the judges saw us as the reliable people we were, always willing to go that
extra mile, cheerful, ready and willing to undertake the next challenges in front of us. So we
always made sure we were on time for every single meet up, lunch and challenge. We
always, always had smile on our faces!
That was not a Law of Attraction thing. I think thats just a life thing. If youve read the
classic book, How to Win Friends and Influence People; it talks about those interpersonal
skills that just make you seem a lucky person.
Being agreeable, pleasant, nice, approachable was important to us, because we
wanted the judges to see that we could represent their brand and their competition.
The final thing in our favour was the final job interview. We had to sit down with a
panel of four judges. We had rehearsed so much that we knew who was going to say what.
We had little signals to each other about how we were going to answer different questions.
So if there was a tough question for me (like geography) I could skilfully hand it over to Mark.
This was also to show how good we were as a team.
Wearing my "Yes" necklace, we went in there and just told the judges that we know
how important the competition was to their brand and we wanted to be a part of their team.
We didnt want to be arrogant. Our focus was to make sure the judges knew that we
wanted it. We went in with some creative ideas; like getting married in every country and
breaking a Guinness world record. This definitely got their attention.
Finally, the closing ceremony where the winners would be announced was upon us.
All of the couples were lined up in one row. As we sat there, Mark and I were whispering to
each other, Mark and Denise. Mark and Denise. Mark and Denise.
Seconds before they announced the winners, we were saying to each other You
thank the judges; Ill thank the venue.
Who knows what the other couples were sitting there thinking? They might have
been stressing out about their jobs or what they were going to do with their apartment or
their pets and all those little things going through their head.
We were energetically ready. There were no emotional obstacles in our way to
receiving it.
Sure enough, they announced the winners saying, wait for it;. Mark and Denise!
Mark and I looked at each other with excitement but little surprise. We were already
there mentally and emotionally. We were ready to go! The Universe was just catching up
with us.
Abraham Hicks talks about things being in vibrational escrow. Its being held
somewhere for you, just waiting for that opportunity where its given to you. And so, we
already felt like the opportunity of us travelling around the world for free was in vibrational
escrow. It just happened to come from this particular opportunity.
We were thrilled and excited. Our friends and family were equally ecstatic. However,
in the time it took to change for the celebration dinner, some people had already written
negative commentary online. They were clearly really pissed off that their friends and family
hadnt won. It was our first taste of negative press and being criticised. Ouch.
The public at large, of course having willed their loved ones to win, were not happy
with the outcome. So they thought that writing derogatory things about us would be a
suitable response. That we were boring. Even that we were cheaters.
Lucky Bitch
One person found out about our apartment advertisement, and said, Well, this is
rigged because they obviously knew they were going to win.
One of my friends, Angela, actually responded to the online criticism with No, she
was just manifesting it and visualising, which just made me laugh so much. My friends
understood what we had achieved, but the rest had not caught up. The only way some
people knew how to alleviate the disappointment was with lies and nastiness.
What you have to realise, is that its not really about you. Its about who they think
you are. How many times have you made a comment online about someone and youve
thought, Oh, look how ugly they are, or, Theyre annoying, or, Look at her hair, or,
Listen to her voice. And you just do it without thinking theyre a real person. Put yourself in
that situation. The same thing is going to happen to you. People wont think that youre a real
person. However, we recognised it and were able to chuckle our way down to dinner.
Only two couples out of the nine actually said anything to us at all. It was an awkward
gala dinner with at least seven couples who were so angry and disappointed they could
barely see straight. One or two couples made fools of themselves. One couple actually
yelled at one of the judges in the bathroom. Another couple just left straight away.
Winning was an inevitable possibility for us because we were in the right Universe.
But if we hadnt, we would have said, Hmm, that sucks. I wonder how else were going to go
travelling because this is happening regardless.
Some of the other couples were certain they were going to win, but they didn't have
everything in alignment. They were so attached to the outcome of winning that they were
completely devastated. We weren't attached to the idea of winning, but the idea of travelling.
We thought Cool. If it didnt happen, were still going travelling somehow. Lets now make
that happen
One of the couples actually said later, We cant believe Mark and Denise won. They
were the least charismatic of all the couples. We were so focused on what was important;
winning challenges and charming the people who mattered. Impressing the other candidates
didn't factor high on our scale of importance.
So, that was how we won the Ultimate Job. Six months travelling around the world,
visiting the most incredible places. The judges even took us up on our offer of getting
married in every country. We ended up getting married 87 times around the world.
We did break the Guinness world record, which was 83 weddings, but by the time our
application was processed, the current record holders were up to 99 weddings!
I hope this story has inspired you to look at your own life and see whats really
important to you. See how you can dream bigger.
Challenge your view on what you consider to be impossible and what could happen.
This is an unbelievable story that was manifested out of thin air an opportunity to
go travelling around the world. You know, that trip was worth at least half a million euros in
total.
Do you know how many times I heard. Oh, you lucky bitch. Im so jealous.
I always say, Well, yeah, its not just luck.
Look at all the things that I did to win the Ultimate Job. There was actual, measurable
work that went into winning it.
But there was also the constant belief that I was going to win it. It takes conscious
effort to do that visualisation every day, to have the courage to do things out of your comfort
zone.
It was work and effort and constant 100-percent belief. But now you can take the
lessons behind this story to manifest amazing things for your own life. You can make the
impossible real.
When you believe that your success is inevitable, all you have to do is walk towards
it. Your dream is seeking you out so start moving towards it and Lucky Bitch is going to tell
you exactly how.
Harness the luck that is available for you, grab those opportunities that are just
waiting for you to jump up and claim. You can be one of those that people say to, Youre
such a lucky bitch!
And you can just smile and say, I know. And good things are happening to you, too.
Lucky Bitch
The 10 Lucky Bitch Commandments

You want to know exactly how Ive become a luck magnet? Here are my tips for shamelessly
embracing your outrageous success;
1. Start with forgiveness
2. Get over yourself
3. Be grateful
4. Treat yourself like a VIP
5. Get your boobs on board
6. Some people will think you suck, get over it
7. Good is good enough
8. Create your own karma
9. Manifesting is a muscle
10. Luck is an inside game
Sometimes the Universe works in mysterious ways. Every technique I share with you
works in different ways, but you may have to try more than one. My philosophy is to throw
everything you can at the problem. Something will work, but most of the time because youre
making an effort, the solution will appear in a completely different way.
A word on the placebo effect;. Who gives a crap? I dont care if something works
because of positive suggestion, I only care that it works. I dont pretend to know the exact
reason behind these techniques, because they have made real and lasting practical
difference in my life in the real world.
Optimistic people expect good things to happen to them.
Start with forgiveness

I will talk about forgiveness until my tongue gives up and your ears fall off, because if I
was only allowed one personal development tool in my superhero Lucky Bitch utility belt, I
would choose forgiveness over and above everything else.
Holding onto resentment is like drinking poison

and expecting the other person to die
Forgiveness is the reason that Ive been able to move on from my past and consciously
create my present. Ive seen for myself the transformation it creates in my clients' lives. It
can literally transmute your energy to work for you, not against you.
In my late teens and early twenties I spent so much time in resentment and anger,
blaming my crappy childhood for why I was lost, why I couldnt be happy in a job and why I
attracted bad boyfriends. It was my parents fault I was so messed up! If only they did a
better job, I would be stable, happy and normal. They really screwed up!
I even resented people who were light and happy. It made me sick to see how
effortlessly they went through life, whereas I saw myself as damaged. It made the contrast
to how I felt even worse, lucky bitches!
Its alright for them... I thought ...they had a perfect childhood. How lucky to be born to
middle class parents who had money, didnt divorce, gave them everything they asked for
and always had time to shower on them. From the outside thats what I thought.
As humans, we can hold grudges that go back many years. I have clients who have
been holding onto memories that are more than 40 years old but they still remember them as
if they happened yesterday.
The memories take up so much space and energy that it can kill your enjoyment of life
like a noxious weed, poisoning your current relationships, or hold you back from
experiencing love. Even when something good happens, there is an underlying sense of I
dont deserve this or good times never last. You sabotage yourself to prove how messed
up you are.
Resentment can even live in your body and cause illness. My Nan had breast cancer in
her early 60s. I believe it was a direct result of living with unexpressed anger and resentment
over her marriage. She was holding a lot of blame towards my grandfather and his actions
towards their marriage. She then blamed herself when he got sick and had to go into a
nursing home. She obsessed about it and drove herself sick.
Blame, shame, resentment and anger will block you from living the life of your dreams.
It wasnt just my parents I couldnt forgive. I would lay awake at night recounting a work
conversation from years before and still feeling angry towards my boss. The unfairness and
Lucky Bitch
the feeling of being taken advantage of still lived with me. It affected my sleep and my ability
to move on because I kept attracting bosses and careers that treated me the same way.
I went to counselling several times and just cried the whole time. I couldnt articulate
everything I was angry about. I could easily recite my story, growing up with a single mum,
the poverty, my less than ideal childhood but I couldnt believe there was a way out. I
wanted a magic pill.
My resentment of my mother made me hate myself because I looked and sounded just
like her. I spent most of my twenties living in London, many miles away from my family in
Australia because I was so; fucking; angry.
I was terrified of manifesting a serious illness and I came close many times. In my
twenties I had many health scares; a suspected brain tumour that turned out to be nothing,
hospitalisation for pneumonia, mysterious aches and pains, not to mention feeling tired and
lethargic all the time. One summer I was so depressed I said God, I wouldnt be upset if you
ran me over with a bus. I had no joy in my life.
The light bulb moment came for me when I learnt about the power of forgiveness through
Louise Hay and her beautiful book You Can Heal Your Life. Louise credits self-love and
forgiveness as the most powerful gift you can give to yourself.
Now that Ive experienced it, I credit forgiveness as the single greatest thing Ive done for
myself. I dont regret the thousands I spent on personal development but I wish I realised
that everything was a panacea until I went to the root of the problem and just forgave
everything I saw as unforgivable.
Seriously walking on hot coals with Tony Robbins was amazing but once the buzz
wore off, I was still just as lost as ever.
A true secret of outrageously successful women is the ability to transmute negative into
positive. Relieving the hurts of the past takes up real energy that we can use to create, to
love, to experience and to deliberately manifest a truly vibrant life.
Three simple phrases:
I forgive you...
Im sorry...
I love you...
Doing this simple forgiveness exercise will eliminate at least 80% of your personal hangups and make you feel lighter than ever before. The best part is that you dont even need to
have a conversation with anyone, theres no need to physically stand in front of people to
forgive them. You can forgive the deceased and people youve never met.
Youll be able to harness your own luck guilt-free, to consciously start to create your ideal
life and even transform relationships in the real world without your baggage clouding your
perception of reality. When you get rid of all the emotional crap that you are carrying, it
means that your natural talents, your natural love of life can shine through. You can go forth
into a brighter future happy, free and unencumbered by your past.
Forgiveness doesnt condone or justify bad behaviour. Some people are absolute twats,
and you may have experienced things that are unforgiveable. However, what purpose does
it serve for you to carry it forever? They have probably moved on with their life and so
forgiveness is a gift you give yourself.
Nothing is too large or small for you to forgive. Ive read amazing stories of people who
have rediscovered joy in their life by forgiving their kidnapper, or the drug addict who killed a
member of their family. Peace of mind, grace, new possibility and healing were all the gifts
they gave themselves.
A forgiveness exercise is a simple ritual. You do not have to wait until a full moon, theres
no need to get naked and light candles (although you can if you wish). You just need to start
with a list.
Start by writing down everything you can think of that is still a painful memory. Many
people start with their parents and their childhood because there is often a wealth of
material. Every little thing whether its something cruel that was said to you or a traumatic
incident that was inflicted upon you.
Then start writing down:
Old relationships and everything that person did to make you angry or sad. This
is especially important if you were cheated on, a victim of violence or were
wronged in some way. Write down each incident separately.
Any bosses or colleagues who were mean, intimidating or caused you stress in
any way. In particular anything they said to you that you still feel strong emotion
around.
Lucky Bitch
Friends or family who have bitched about you, excluded you, made you feel bad
about yourself.
A teacher who embarrassed you in front of the whole class, told you were stupid,
or unfairly gave you a bad mark.
Write it all down.

Then, sit somewhere in a quiet space where you wont be disturbed for 30 minutes. In
turn, think about each person or situation. If possible, recall what you felt in that moment,
whether it was anger, shame, embarrassment, fear, rejection or sadness.
Let the emotion come up and then say:
I forgive you
Im sorry
And I love you
You dont need to force anything, but you may feel emotion or sadness come up. Just let
the image fade away and go onto the next thing on your list. You dont even really have to
100% mean it, but its just enough to start.
Some people report having to do the exercise several times for really emotional and
painful memories but each time will clear many years worth of resentment and anger. This
exercise is worth several years in therapy!
Give it a few days and then check in with your list to see what memories still remain.
Youll be surprised to find that you cant even recall certain stories and if you do, there
wont be any trace of embarrassment or anger.
Its really unbelievable. I started out with at least three pages worth of hurts and
injustices and I honestly couldnt recite the same list to you today. Its all gone. Its almost
made me more compassionate towards my own parents and the difficulties they must have
gone through as young parents who were incompatible, with very little money and unsure
about how to raise children.
What happens afterwards?
Things will shift in the real world without any other intervention. You will feel happier and
lighter without trying. Dont be surprised if you get a call out of the blue from someone youve
forgiven. They will experience the benefits too they might feel lighter or more loving
towards you. You may even feel unexpected feelings of happiness. It was there all along,
waiting until you cleared the energy.
You wont be seeing that person or situation through a distorted filter anymore. Youll be
free of the chains and open to new possibilities for your relationship. You may never even
think of them again, which can be a blessing. Youve also given yourself a great gift
freedom.
I have a completely transformed relationship now with my own mother. I can listen to her
and not through the filter of an angry child. I have compassion for the struggles she went
through as a single mum and I can see her as a human being.
Nothing is too small to forgive. One client forgave a teacher she had when she was eight
years old; someone who embarrassed her in front of a whole class and set up a lingering
fear that she was stupid. Clearing that gave her so much freedom.
Theres no end to forgiveness and after you get the really traumatic events out of the
way, its fun and so freeing! Forgiveness is an onion skin. You will always find new things to
forgive.
Feel like youve heard it all before and have already made peace with the past? Take
it one step further. Forgive the bankers who ruined the economy. Forgive the President and
Prime Minister. Forgive corporations who pollute the environment.
Everywhere you have anger in your life, make a conscious decision to forgive. It will
really transform your life and when you release that negative energy watch what happens
to your luck!
Get over yourself

So youve done the forgiveness work and cleared your slate. Its time to go even
deeper into what could be holding you back from the next level of success and happiness.
Its not your job or the economy. Its not your age, gender or weight. Guess what; its you!
Most of us know at a superficial level that the only thing holding us back is ourselves
but we dont realise just how powerful we are. Our ability to protect ourselves from potential
pain is incredible. Self-sabotage is a misunderstood creature its only trying to keep you
from facing rejection! Its the ultimate helicopter parent, swaddling you in cotton wool so
you never injure yourself in any way.
Lucky Bitch
Unfortunately, allowing ourselves to experience pain or put ourselves open to

potential embarrassment is how we learn. Parents know that eventually theyll have to let
their children go out into the big, bad world otherwise theyll turn out to be co-dependent, low
functioning adults who dont know how to do anything for themselves.
Set an intention that its time to get over your fears. The luckiest people are also the
people who just do it. They get more practice, they open themselves to more opportunity and
they dont take every rejection personally.
The goal isnt to eliminate fear entirely. I'm not sure that's possible, and sometimes
fear can drive us. However, realise that every human who has ever lived has been just as
shit-scared as you. Everyone. They just moved forward a tiny bit anyway, or they died with
regrets.
Barbara Streisand suffered from crippling stage fright for years, and thats why she
rarely tours. However, every few years she forces herself on stage. Isnt the world a better
place for her talent?
I know many people who are lucky enough to have the innate talent, but they are too
afraid to do anything about it. Im talking people who have manuscripts ready to go, plays
written, unbelievable skills in teaching, cooking or healing but they are too scared to let their
talent shine. Youre a little bit scared too, arent you?
Scared of what?
Scared of being so awesome that it will turn you into a diva. Scared of being told you
have no talent. Scared of getting constructive feedback from someone you admire or a
bluntly worded rejection. Scared that you will become famous and get a stalker. Scared that
your partner will leave you or that youll leave them. Scared that you arent as smart as you
think.
Fears can be completely irrational but its time to get over them.
How I got over my fear of sharks
When I was fourteen, I went swimming with my grandmother at a beach in Forster,
New South Wales. I was an avid swimmer and loved going to the beach like most kids who
grow up in Australia. Swimming is just part of life.
The waves were huge and for a while we were trapped out beyond the biggest
waves. We were exhausted but every time we tried to swim for shore, we were dumped with
the waves crashing around us. We decided to tread water for a while until the set passed.
In the distance I saw four dark fins and in my tired state, I thought they were sharks. I
started panicking. I thought to myself This is how Im going to die ripped apart by hungry
sharks.
My Nan tried to calm me down but she was scared too. There were dark rocks
underneath us and I thought we were gone. I was crying and sobbing. The waves had
subsided enough for us to swim to shore and once we were safely on land, we realised that
they werent sharks at all, but dolphins.
What could have been a beautiful, unique and spiritual experience of swimming with
wild dolphins turned into a moment of complete and utter panic.
I didnt really go into the water again for the next sixteen years. I could go in up to my
ankles but then I'd panic or Id be scanning the horizon and jumping at any little shadow in
the waves. The fear was so great that I would even freak out if I went into a swimming pool!
Even on the Ultimate job trip, I very rarely went into the ocean. We visited some of
the most incredible beaches in the world and I just couldnt enjoy it. I panicked every time I
went near the water, even countries that have never had recorded shark attacks. The fear
was very real. We did a radio interview during the trip and I was asked if I was going to go
snorkelling in Jordan as the Red Sea is absolutely famous. When I said I was afraid of
sharks, I could see the interviewers face What a waste he was thinking. And Im sure many
people listening thought the same thing. Shes so lucky, Id take advantage of every
opportunity on that trip.
That pissed me off. So I tried a few different things. Finally I said Universe, please
help me with this. Im ready to overcome my fear.
The Universe is always listening so be careful what you ask for.
Sometimes you have just to hitch up your panties and say fuck it. I like to put myself
into situations where I have to do it. One of the weddings in Queensland was scheduled to
be on a floating pontoon in the middle of the Great Barrier Reef. I saw this on the itinerary
but I assumed it would have a pool in the middle of it like on a cruise ship.
Lucky Bitch
The idea was that wed get married on the pontoon and then wed jump onto the
giant slide together as man and wife as the photographer captured our landing into the
water. Fun right? Except when we got there, I realised that the slide went straight into the
ocean. No netted area, no protected pool. No sandy clear bottom to be seen and because it
was a cloudy day, the ocean was a dark green colour.
OH. MY. GOD. My worst nightmare. In Australia no less land of the Great White
Shark.
I could have said No, Im afraid of the water. Im not going to do it. But instead I just
went with the flow. It was going to have to be done, no way would I make a scene. My fear of
embarrassing myself was greater that day, and hopefully if a shark came along, hed eat
Mark first. Thats what I told myself anyway.
I stuck a smile on my face for the whole wedding, while gripping Marks hands very
tightly. I felt sick to my stomach.
I did it! As soon we got out of the water, I high-fived Mark!
The photographer approached with a frown on his face. Denise youre covering
Marks face. Youll have to do it again.
The second time was easier, but dont forget that I was wearing a short white
wedding dress and a veil, as well as a full face of makeup. My hair was already ruined on the
first take, my dress was see through but my adrenaline was through the roof.
We did this shot 5 times and then the photographer requested some underwater
shots. No problem, right?
Now, I live in sunny Newcastle Australia and Im pleased to say that last Summer,
Mark and I swam almost every day in the ocean. It was the most liberating experience,
remembering what it was like to ride waves and to be lost in your own thoughts while
connecting to the power of water. What a lucky bitch!
Overcoming that fear has been so symbolic for me, so much that it has unravelled
many other fears. If I can swim in the ocean, I can do anything! Ive absorbed that lesson of
forcing myself to overcome my fears and its now my main strategy.
When I find myself scared of public speaking, Ill book a workshop date or a
teleseminar because I know Ill show up and deliver no matter what. My fear of making a fool
of myself is outweighed by the fear of letting someone down.
Im still scared of sharks but Im more willing to put myself in that situation because I
know the rewards, and I understand what Ill miss out on. The chances of me being eaten by
sharks is greater in the water than staying on the sand, but its still very slight overall.
Ditto with any irrational fear. The chances of you being told that youre horrible and
have no talent are pretty small, but that doesnt mean you wont face rejection.
What often looks like luck from the outside is merely the willingness to do what most
people dont have the guts to do. Most wannabe actors dont audition nearly enough. Most
aspiring writers have never sent their work out to be published and most women dont get
pay increases because they simply dont ask for them.
Why is it so important to acknowledge your fears? Isnt it negative to dwell on what
you dont want? Absolutely we should focus on the positive and Im not encouraging you to
wallow in misery, but until you face it, you wont see the patterns that you may have been
repeating over and over. These patterns have trapped you and you need to break through to
get to the other side. In other words get over yourself.
When you think about all your goals coming true, what fears come up?
If I achieve this goal, Im afraid that;..
To achieve this goal, Ill have to do things Im scared of like;.
Whats the very worst thing that could happen?
Be grateful
Gratitude is a powerful force and it can transform your perspective of the world. Its
another over-used personal development tool, but for good reason. Gratitude is not
complacency, but neither is it pure perfection.
At every stage of your success journey, you must embrace what you have now,
otherwise it will never be enough, and you will be the ungrateful and spoilt brat like Veruca
Salt, always wanting the next shiny object, now daddy!
Lucky Bitch
Leaders like Oprah and John Di Martini credit a regular practice of gratitude for the
abundance theyve been able to create. Oprah inspired the world to keep daily gratitude
journals and Di Martini wrote a whole book on the regular practice of giving thanks.
The Universe responds to our feelings and mirrors our reality in line with those
powerful emotions. When we focus on lack, we attract more lack. When we focus on the
amazing abundance and opportunity around us, we activate unseen forces in the Universe
intent on matching our vibration with even more.
The opposite of grateful is being thankless, churlish and unmindful. It shows were
unaware of what is truly possible. Were like ignorant tourists, breaking everything and
consuming resources with abandon, uncaring and not even enjoying the experience.
Its difficult when your reality seems so real. The goldfish cant see the water hes
in it. When youre in your experience of being in debt, in a horrible job, lonely on a Saturday
night, all you can feel is the pain of your experience.
You dont understand Denise this is true. My bank account is empty, I dont have
any money, I really am having this experience!
The only way out of it is to change your perception and find the silver lining. That can
be hard, I understand. A lot is invested in defending our right way of thinking but it
doesnt mean that its true.
Gratitude can transform the past. When I focused on the positive of my childhood
the independence I gained and the relaxed attitude of my mum, it completely transformed
my experience of it when I forgave my parents and then found things about my childhood
that have benefited me today, I no longer think I had a bad childhood, but I had an
awesome one. I choose to look at it from a different direction.
Journal
What are you grateful for in your life right now?
What are you grateful about with your health?
What gratitude can you express about your relationships?
What aspects of the past can you now be grateful about?
One of the best ways to increase your luck and capacity for good fortune is to treat
yourself like you are already blessed in every way. The thing is, you are!
Treat yourself like a VIP

Are you cheap with yourself or do you treat yourself like a Very Important Person? I
used to be so embarrassingly stingy with myself, never letting myself even look in the
window of a shop. I didnt even let myself dream that I was worth more.
A lot of people are poor students at University, but I took it to an extreme level. Not
only that, I made it mean that I was an unworthy person, less than other people.
For six months I lived in an outdoor laundry that had been converted into a room of
sorts, with a single bed and some stacked milk crates for my clothes. I didn't even have
proper windows! It was a metal grate with clear plastic over it. This "room" cost me $50 a
week, which was cheap, even in 1998, but I felt like such a loser coming home to that each
day. I was failing University. I was depressed. I had no money and I lived in a shed! Could it
get any worse?
The trouble was I had no minimum standards for myself. I accepted whatever
circumstances I could afford without demanding something different.
In my twenties I often dressed in ill-fitting and cheap clothes because I thought caring
about my appearance was superficial. In reality, my stinginess with myself just made me feel
bad. It takes up valuable energy to disguise a missing button or hide a stain. I was no longer
a poor kid but I was energetically locked in that pattern.
Extreme self-care and outrageous self-love is a crucial secret of successful women
and they dont wait to be offered it on a silver platter they create it for themselves.
This is not only about spending money its an attitude and increasing your
expectation of minimum standards raising the bar for yourself.
One of my biggest annoyances is the overuse of the word luxury when it comes to
products sold to women. Next time youre watching TV, just notice how many ordinary,
everyday and downright boring products are sold using language such as treat yourself. Its
not gorgeous shoes or spa days, its household items like washing up liquid, air freshener
spray and body wash as if women should be grateful to spend 5 minutes soaping up our
bodies, that its the highlight of our day. The message is be busy, expect less.
Lucky Bitch
I understand that when youre a mother to young children, having a shower perhaps
is a luxury, but women please dont we deserve more than to just increase the enjoyment
of washing up dishes?
Real luxury is being attuned to our self-worth, its allowing ourselves to have the jobs
we want, spend time with the people we like, be challenged and entertained.
Winning the Ultimate Job definitely increased my capacity for luxury and showed us
how rich people lived. Yes, its comfortable having someone to run a bath, pack your
luggage for you and order you cabs. Its amazing.
But I also realised that everyday experiences can be luxurious too. Having time off to
read a book in the sunshine, drinking tea out of a special mug and swimming in the ocean
are all things I denied myself, citing lack of time.
When is the last time you consciously celebrated a success in your life?
Do you reward yourself when you complete a project, get a new article published or
sell a piece of work, or did you move on to the next thing, telling yourself it was no big deal?
Celebrate! Every milestone should be celebrated because it anchors the experience
in. Find any excuse to congratulate yourself for a job well done. Success breeds success
and the more "proof" you have that you are successful, the easier it will be to attract further
good fortune.
When I ran my first 1-day workshop, I made sure I celebrated. I was incredibly tired
afterwards but I went to the poshest restaurant in town (I already had fabulous hair
remember) and ordered a single glass of champagne. I sat there by myself soaking in the
experience and telling myself This is just the beginning. Well done babe.
It wasnt a huge deal, a workshop of 25 people but it was something I created by
myself. It wasnt perfect but I put it together with passion and commitment so I knew that I
had done my best, so I deserved to enjoy it.
Celebrating an experience in that way gives you permission to be richly rewarded for
your efforts. It shows the Universe how to treat you and it puts you in that success mindset.
Dont let the moment pass you by unacknowledged.
David Neagle says he made a decision that he would only fly first class, no matter
what and the money always appears. Ive also heard Ali Brown say the same thing.
I myself decided that Ill always buy the VIP option at conferences. Its worth the
money to have all the little extras, like priority seating and free lunch. Usually you can have
lunch with the speaker or have a photo taken. Its just a decision I made, so I can stop
worrying about it. Im a VIP, so of course Ill choose that option.
Decide to constantly upgrade your life. I used to dye my hair myself and then recently
I made a decision to always go to a salon. It makes me feel amazing and its a small price to
pay, Im willing to budget to have that. Similarly when I have a conference or speaking
engagement, Ill get my hair professionally blow-dried.
Theres a difference between being frugal and being down-right cheap with yourself.
You probably have a drawer full of lovely beauty products that you never use, beautiful
underwear that never sees the light of day and favourite shoes that are saved for best.
Get them out and increase your pleasure threshold!
Whats the next level of self-care, luxury or indulgence for you? Make a decision.
Decide in advance how much of your income is going to be solely to be spent on yourself. I
recommend at least 10%. That money is dedicated to pleasure and celebration. Ten percent
isn't too much to ask, is it? This money cannot be spent on mundane things like such
underwear (unless it's gorgeous), personal care products like tampons that you'd buy
anyway or something for your children, partner or friends.
Decide to treat yourself like a superstar and watch your luck and success soar. I
personally guarantee it and Ill see you in the VIP lounge.
Get your boobs on board

When I was at University, I decided to do something that really challenged my
perception of my body and pose nude for an art class. It was one of the most liberating
experiences of my life because it made me accept my body. Not only that, I could see my
body through other peoples eyes.
Women experience so much self-hatred of our bodies and it can really hold us back
in many areas of our life. At every fibre of our being, we are saying You are not worth
more.
The next step to forgiving everyone else is also forgiving yourself and loving your
body no matter what.
Lucky Bitch
How can you live a truly exceptional life when you are unconsciously infusing every
part of your being with judgement such as You are wrong, you are ugly, you are fat, you are
hairy, you are not right, you are not perfect. It permeates your entire body and your entire
soul. How can you live this beautiful life, creating exactly what you want with that kind of
negativity?
You may not even be aware of the judgements you have on yourself.
Do body forgiveness work in the same way you forgive other people. Go through
each area of your body in turn and say, Toes, I forgive you. I love you. Im sorry, and work
your way up to the top of your head. Feel that love and acceptance to every single cell of
your body. Realize that youre not perfect and thats okay, but you are loved.
Do the exercise again and give an outrageous compliment to each part of your body.
Praise your beautiful hair, your perfectly shaped lips and your lovely shoulders. Inform every
cell that youre a gorgeous, exceptional woman and you expect they all behave accordingly!
Imagine how much you can create when your boobs are on board with your dreams?
When your toes feel like part of the team thats creating your life?
It may sound silly but when every single cell of your body aligned in the direction of
your dreams, the whole Universe is screaming Yes! Yes! You love us; we love you; lets do
it. But when you live in the reality that Im not perfect, every part of your body is dragging
you down and your energy is scattered.
Get your boobs on board the luck train.
Some people will think you suck, get over it

Theres nothing you can do to avoid it.
Women who let themselves shine and achieve a certain level of success will attract a
small amount of negativity. There will always be some smart-arse who thinks youre a lucky
bitch with no talent.
Im an extremely opinionated person but it doesnt mean that Im always right (Im
frequently right however).
Nobody really has the right to an opinion unless theyve done the exact same thing
you want to do. Even then, if they did it 20, 10 or even 5 years ago, then times have
changed. Helpful advice is always welcome, but Im talking about uninformed people making
blanket declarative statements designed to make you feel unsure and anxious about your
decisions.
You cant make it in showbiz because youre too short
You need a degree for that
Youre not qualified to do that
Theres no money in that
I tried that once, didnt work
They always sound like they know they are talking about because they are so damn
sure of themselves. Show some humanity and take it with a pinch of salt. Im sure youve
said similar things before.
Many of us find it painfully hard to hear feedback, even when we ask for it. I HATE
sending out a survey at the end of a course or coaching, because Im often afraid of what
people will say. Stupidly, it would make the course better next time, but I dont want to hear
that people dont like me. Its because we take it so personally.
And just because someone put it on the internet doesnt mean its true
It can be shocking how unsupportive and actually downright bitchy other people can be
when your life starts to take off. Youll start to get all sorts of well-meaning advice which is
often criticism in disguise.
Leading an exceptional or even unconventional life can be really threatening for other
people.
Remember, thats its their stuff and not yours.
As silly as it sounds, most of us are more worried about what random strangers say than
our loved ones. After all, our partner or our mum are unlikely to outright say you suck and
you have no talent, but people on the internet will and do!
Hi Denise,
I enjoy reading your about your success - although I would like to offer a piece of
wisdom - that when things are going your way you give back out. I think though it's
important to remember the fine line of Narcissism when manifesting - everything is
Lucky Bitch
coming to ME etc....it's all about ME. Doing things for free can keep you grounded
and avoid looking like you expect everyone to conform to your wishes (especially
when you are successfully manifesting) and it reminds oneself that all these things
come from Grace and not 'ME' or "My Precious" as Gollum puts it.
People like that love to give their criticism in the form of wisdom or advice. I have to
admit that this offering really pissed me off. First because nobody wants to think that they
come off as bragging or being narcissistic.
The first piece of negative feedback can often be devastating, but its the fear of the
potential criticism that can cut the most. As Mark Twain said Ive known many troubles in
my life most of which never happened.
To illustrate this story, I went searching for Amazon reviews on commercially
successful books. Take Lauren Weisberger's first novel, The Devil Wears Prada. I loved this
book and found it a great summer read. Its not literary masterpiece, but wouldnt you be
proud of that novels success?
The Devil Wears Prada has sold millions of copies, spent more than a year on the
New York Times bestseller list, and has been made into a fabulously fun movie starring
Anne Hathaway and Meryl Streep, which won a Golden Globe and grossed over $300
million worldwide. I bet her parents and friends are so proud.
However, I hope Lauren has a thick skin. The official Amazon reviewer calls her an
inept, ungrammatical writer and out of over a thousand reviews she has several more 1-star
reviews than 5-star ones. Do you think she reads them and regrets she ever put herself out
there for public scrutiny? I doubt it shes written at least six other books. She just kept on
creating.
Dont you think she was thrilled about her novel being made into a movie? Perhaps
she was less so when on the DVD commentary, the screenwriter basically said that the
source material was shit and she had to make a lot of changes to make it barely watchable.
Im paraphrasing dramatically, but OUCH!
Can you accept that a certain level of success inevitably attracts bad reviews?
What would you prefer?
1. Ten people buy your great work and all love it. Every single person (which
includes a big percentage of your friends and family) has only great things to say about it.
Yay for you!
2. A thousand people buy your book, come and see your play, buy your art-work or
come to your workshop. The majority of these people are strangers to you. Thirty people say
its the best thing theyve ever seen in their whole life, 940 people seemed to have enjoyed
it, but thirty people say its the worst thing theyve ever seen. They viciously write about it on
their blogs, they publicly vow it was a waste of money and swear that youre a terrible conartist with no talent.
Your ego probably prefers the first option. You can feel good about yourself, even if
you have the sneaking suspicion that youre meant for something greater. But you cant live
off applause. Its not enough to hear well done and our thrill over getting a gold star doesnt
last forever.
Becoming exceptional means making yourself vulnerable.
Amy De Bhrun, a young Irish actress based in London is starting to become an
established actress. We started working together because she wanted to move to the next
level in her career, including being paid great money. When she started to do more work, it
was inevitable that shed get a bad review eventually. Her one-woman show got two
wonderful reviews followed by two not so amazing ones.
After feeling hurt initially, Amy wrote to me:
I came to realise that the higher the level, the more open you are to criticism. There
are more people seeing your work and therefore there are more opinions and you
cannot please everyone 100% of the time.
So I guess if you spark a strong reaction in people it is a beautiful thing - you have
touched them in some way, and maybe enabled them to look at something within
themselves... and from there it is their choice whether they consider it a positive or
negative.
Once you can stand over your work and know you have given it 100% and for a
greater purpose thats the most important thing
Lucky Bitch
Some people will think you suck no matter WHAT you do. Its the truth. You will never
please those people who live off complaints and revel in other peoples failure.
When I was growing up, my mum was a single parent and for a couple of years, we
lived in a housing estate run by the council. My mum was welfare, on a single parent
pension. Now, I didnt go to fancy private schools, but because I was a voracious reader
from an early age, I knew I was smart. The beauty about living in a council estate is that
everyone was equal. Everyones houses were built exactly the same, nobody had a lot of
money or particularly fancy cars. This has changed now because of readily available credit,
youre just as likely to see a massive satellite dish and new car outside a council house just
the same as any other.
I was at a friends house in the neighbourhood one day eating fish and chips for
dinner, and I asked politely if they had any condiments. My friends parents laughed so hard.
Do you mean tomato sauce?, and then teased me for being so fancy. I was bewildered
that an adult would make fun of a child for having a good vocabulary. It was the first time I
realised that it was considered wrong to be different.
Automatically I was considered stuck-up because I read books and I got good
grades. You think youre so smart! my brother would always say to me, as if that was a bad
thing to excel at school.
You can try and make yourself small to make other people feel better about
themselves but the truth is that you are already a success story and someone will always be
threatened by that.
Good is good enough

I really should have called this book lazy bitch, because Im all about finding the
short cut to success, despite being a recovering perfectionist Virgo. Im smart and lazy a
great combination! I have extremely high standards and love delivering good work, but at
some point you just have to accept that life can be easier.
Being a perfectionist sets you up for constant disappointment and feelings of failure
because nothing is ever really good enough. Even when something wonderful happens,
there's a niggling feeling that you didn't deserve it.
I didn't even want to call myself a perfectionist because I wasn't perfect! I didnt
deserve the title I was ashamed to admit that I wasnt perfect.
Back in my consulting career, my team had a big job to deliver for the United Nations.
Everyone on the project got called away to different jobs, so it was just me. There was a
miscommunication with the client and our deadline was moved forward. We had less than
two weeks to deliver a full Corporate Social Responsibility manual. Guess who had to make
it happen?
I put in a superhuman effort, bent time and space to finish the project. I got a massive
amount of praise from my manager and the client. But you know what? Ive never looked at
that manual since. Why?
I was too afraid to see a spelling mistake.
How many times have you received a compliment about a job well done and replied
with Oh, it was nothing or felt like a fraud because it wasnt a 100% effort?
It can completely ruin the satisfaction of the moment and sets you up for a lifetime of
disappointment and frustration. It tells the Universe that youll never be happy and you dont
deserve to feel contentment or pride.
Extreme perfectionism is self-hatred in disguise and only serves to make us feel bad
about ourselves. High achieving women in particular can get caught up in wanting everything
done right and causing themselves and the people around them constant anxiety and stress.
Being a perfectionist around your body and diet can lead to disordered eating
and being either over- or underweight.
Being a perfectionist around your relationship sets you up for failure because
nothing your partner does will ever truly please you.
Being a perfectionist employer makes your employees afraid to experiment in

case they get things wrong.
By far, the most dangerous side effect is that perfectionists punish themselves
constantly and deny themselves happiness until they jump through increasingly hard hurdles
to prove they are worth it. This includes wearing cheap clothes until youre a perfect size, not
showing your creative efforts to anyone because its not ready yet and ignoring the guy
who is perfect for you because hes not conventionally handsome.
I wanted to be a life coach before I even knew what that was, but do you know how
long it took me to do it? I felt like I had to be perfect in my own life (and that was never going
Lucky Bitch
to happen). I would have waited forever, unhappy with my life but too paralysed to do
anything about it.
I love being a role model but I'm also a real person. I've learnt to forgive myself
instantly for any mistakes I make and to feel genuine pride when I do a good job.
Theres real freedom in deciding that you are good enough.
Create your own karma

I dont believe we come into this world with accumulated negative karma that were
destined to repay but we definitely have lessons to learn and we will always attract what we
put out into the world.
If you believe that youre destined to suffer in this lifetime, then thats exactly what
youll attract unless you decide to start afresh through forgiveness and self-love. Set yourself
free in this lifetime and give yourself permission to be truly successful. Its just as valid as an
experience as suffering and poverty. You can choose.
If you do believe in karma, then its only going to benefit you to behave in ways that
increase your positive karma, such as doing good things for others and being a positive
citizen of the world.
There was a time in my life when things around me were grey and average. I was
living in London, commuting every day to a job I didnt like and wondering when the hell my
luck was going to turn around. I decided that I was going to start with sending out positive
energy to the people around me.
Miserable commuters got waves of happy vibes. I would select a particularly sad or
bored person and send them wishes such as a fantastic sex life, great adventure or
unexpected windfalls. I had so much fun creating these love bombs for other people, it
would cheer me up knowing that if I could wish good things for other people, I could accept
them for myself.
We know everything in the world is made up of energy. Everything from your body to
your computer, the trees grass and dirt, everything is made up of energy. We become
magnetised to things that are the same frequency, or the same energetic vibration as us. So
if you can align yourself with positivity, youll attract similar people and situations. They cant
help it; their energy is the same as yours, and so energy attracts energy.
Similarly, if youre feeling particularly negative and constantly act in self-destructive

ways that show the Universe youre unaware and uncaring, youll receive your negative
karma very quickly.
You might ding your car, stub your toe, or you meet someone who says something
really mean to you, and you think, Where the hell did that come from? Its because again,
your energy has attracted their energy.
I see everything like as a positive affirmation that Im a lucky person. Its become a
self-fulfilling prophecy. Luck creates more luck, courage creates courage and good feelings
attract more good feelings.
When I break a glass or a mirror, I dont say Oh no, 7 years bad luck or blame it on
bad karma. Im mildly annoyed but I move on. However, when I see a rainbow, I take a
moment to reflect on my good luck and thank the Universe profusely for blessing me with
such good fortune. I know I deserve it because I send so much good out into the world.
The more people I tell about being lucky, the more people believe me. The more
others reflect back to me, the more I believe it myself. Its like two mirrors side by side.
Where does it stop and begin? Who knows?
If youre a happy, positive person youll continue to attract even more into your life. If
youre a miserable, mean, unhappy and negative person guess what? More is coming to
you and you can decide. Thats karma in a nutshell.
Manifesting is a muscle
Some people seem effortlessly lucky, but the secret is that they are more
experienced in goal setting and making specific requests of the Universe.
Deciding what we want is not easy. Some of us have very, very weak practice around
this area. Were very weak about deciding what we want because sometimes its easier just
to be passive and let life and circumstance happen for you.
How often do you write down your goals?
Just like working out, the more you do it, the better youll get at it. Theres no doubt
that a daily practice of goal setting will change your life. When you see the results of what
you can manifest, your belief will be stronger and the quicker it will work next time. Its selffulfilling.
Lucky Bitch
Sometimes youll be in that magical flow and youll set an intention for something and
it will happen almost immediately. Its crazy when it happens, but its true. But if youre not
making a regular practice of goal setting, visualising and consciously creating your life, it can
feel so hard.
When you hear other peoples manifesting success stories does it make you feel
jealous? Like they are blessed by the Universe and youre not?
Theres little secret to manifesting but it requires patience and constant vigilance that
youre staying positive and in the right frame of mind. However to start with, the Universe
needs to know what to send you. Thats why a regular practice goal setting is nonnegotiable.
Its like calling up your local pizza place and saying, Please send me a pizza.
Theyll say What size and what toppings do you want?
And you say, Well, I think you probably know me by now. You know what my
preferences are. Just send me what you think I would like. Surprise me
Thats exactly what were doing all the time to the universe. Were saying, You know
what? I just dont have the courage right now to make a decision on what kind of job that I
want. So please just send me a job you think I would like. Or, You know what? I really dont
like my husband. Universe, please make him disappear but dont ask me to change
anything. Please send me someone better.
Practice making decisions and telling the Universe exactly what youre playing for
the shape, colour, size and the exact juiciness youre after. With practice youll start
receiving what you ask for.
Lucky women know what they want and arent afraid to ask for it as simply as
ordering your favourite coffee at Starbucks. It can be as complicated as you want.
Luck is an inside game
Is luck an accident?
Outliers, The Story of Success is a book from intellectual adventurer Malcolm
Gladwell with interesting, accessible and often profound insights about the secrets behind
seemingly inexplicable success stories.
Outliers is about people and situations that fall outside the norm, the stories we hear
about the gifted or outrageously talented. Gladwell takes one in a million success stories,
and demystifies everything we know about success and failure.
One brilliant example: What do 70% of professional hockey players have in
common?
Regardless of any other factor such as height or background is they were born in the
first half of the year with at least 40% born in the first quarter. Why would that matter? Does
that mean that Aquarians and Pisceans are just born with a genius for hockey?
Quite simply, the advantage of having a birthday so close to the cut-off date of
January 1st means that you would have the advantage of being close to older than some of
the other players in your cohort. You will have better coordination and skill because you are
older. This will mean you are picked into better teams, consequently have more practice and
become better. Every year this repeats itself.
An accidental combination of your birth date and a love of hockey becomes a selffulfilling prophecy. Armed with this fascinating case study, Gladwell proposes that if
countries such as Canada had two separate leagues, they would have twice as many major
league hockey players as they do now.
Similarly with any kind of luck. I want to show you how you can apply these luck
principles to your career, increase your abundance, attract and keep love in your life and
achieve awesome health.
Lucky Bitch
Your Lucky, Lucky Career

In my early twenties when I was trying to find my passion and purpose, I worked for a
few months as a telemarketer in a call-centre. This was indeed a crappy and boring job,
especially for someone like me, who values freedom above all else.
Within a couple of weeks I was the number two sales person in the company. I
probably could have been number one without much more effort, but I decided to quit. Just
lucky right? Either that or I was a naturally good sales person.
None of the above.. I completely rigged the system.
Our shift hours were 5pm to 9pm. For four hours we had to constantly make cold
calls to people at home, to convince them to buy a broadband service that they didnt want.
Its demoralising hearing no over and over, especially when you just want to help people.
We got a couple of inbound calls during that time, and it was a fight to answer the call
as quickly as possible. Those calls were warm leads with a much higher probability of a sign
up. One evening I decided to stay back an hour and see how many calls came in.
When everyone else clocked off to go to the pub at 9pm, I stayed around and
answered every single inbound call. It was usually someone who had just seen an ad on TV,
or had been on the company website. They were calling to ask a few questions and to sign
up.
Guess who took those sign-ups? Me.
So that became my routine. Half-heartedly make cold calls for four hours and maybe
get one sign-up, and then work that one extra hour. The extra hour was unpaid but my
commissions made up for it, plus I got the recognition and reward for being a top
salesperson.
Im aware this wasnt particularly 100% ethical.. After all, wasnt I hired to cold call
people? Well, no. I was hired to get sales for the company, and I became very creative about
how I achieved that. The thing was, their preferred way was actually a colossal waste of time
and energy. I quickly discovered their secret; it was probably cheaper to hire a bunch of
young people than it was to spend more money on advertising. Or a better product. You see,
most of what we do is absolute crap, and actually designed to create more work. The secret
is to work out the cheat in everyday life and your luck will hit the roof.
Lucky people work to their strengths.

If youve ever struggled to find your purpose and passion, I bet you already know
what it is. Sometimes its the easiest and most obvious answer. Its cheating the system
again, but this time in a good way. Why make things difficult for yourself when you can do
what comes most naturally to you?
I spent my twenties desperately trying to find my purpose. I read countless books
such as Po Bronson's What Should I Do With My Life? and took far too many personality
tests. However, the clues were always right in front of me. All I had to do was look to my
childhood;
11. I forced myself to be on the debate team
12. One of my first jobs was talking on stage for childrens shows
13. My most favourite present was the electric typewriter I got for my ninth
birthday
14. I was always starting new clubs and creative projects to make extra money
15. When I was twelve, we moved into a house with a blackboard attached to my
bedroom. I thought this was fantastic, and started giving lectures to my
brother and cousin Rick, who werent having any of it.
All of that points to leader, creator, entrepreneur, mentor, coach, speaker or writer.
Funnily enough, exactly what I do now. But it took forever for me to make that my career,
because it felt too easy. I didnt want to screw up what was so important to me.
I actually had a vision as a child that being a grown-up was working in an office all
day, wearing a suit with shoulder pads and sitting at a desk in front of a computer. Thats
exactly what I ended up with. However, experience soon showed that the other parts of
corporate life, the meetings, the bureaucracy and the lack of autonomy, they just didnt suit
me.
So, I went looking for alternatives where I could still use those skills, but in a way that
suited my natural preferences better. Of course Ill continue to tweak as I go. Nothing is ever
set in stone, and we have the ability to change our minds all the time if something isnt
working. In fact, this is necessary. For example, I prefer to meet with clients over Skype than
face-to-face, so I changed my coaching offerings so it suited my natural strengths.
Lucky Bitch
In a recent coaching session, my client mentioned how she loved her job organising
holiday respite care for people with disabilities but was increasingly frustrated about where
she lived in Australia. She had just come home from two years living in Canada and was
desperate to get back to the winter life. Her dream was mountains, and although she had
never lived there, something in her heart told her Switzerland was the place to go. She
desired to quit everything and be a ski bum in Europe, but she was frustrated because
saving was taking so long. She was worried about finding a job when the competition was so
fierce, even for lowly paid ski jobs.
Together we looked at what was really important to her and how she could have both
of these things in her life; the career she loved and the freedom and adventure she craved. I
asked her if she realised there were organisations that arranged skiing holidays for disabled
people. Shed never thought about it. It seemed too easy. No more angst, the solution was
perfect and with her experience and personal passion, it shouldnt be too hard for her to find
a job. She almost couldnt believe that it could come together so perfectly.
Why couldnt she come up with that solution herself? In hindsight, its completely
obvious, but she almost needed that permission to live a life that was perfectly suited to her
as a whole person. Were used to separating our lives into segments; our passions and the
things we have to do for money.
Ive been told this many times by friends and well-meaning relatives. When the
Ultimate Job finished, we were told with undisguised glee Well, youll have to go back to the
real world now, wont you? as if we were living a fantasy life.
Guess what? The real world can be awesome too.
And then theres guilt. After all, arent we told: Life isnt meant to be easy. You work,
you pay your bills and then you die.
Many of my clients tell me the guilt they feel about out-earning their parents,
especially for work that comes easily to them. One client spoke of her dad getting up at
dawn every day and working physically hard all day for minimum wage.
It therefore seemed almost obscene for her to make good money as a coach. After
all, she wasn't working with her hands or creating anything visibly tangible. She was only
talking to them over the phone.
I understand. My own mother worked many jobs while I was growing up; as a
cleaner, a secretary and a waitress, and she is now an assistant nurse. She works long
hours with the sick, elderly and disabled and although she mostly loves her work, it takes a
lot out of her.
I was embarrassed to tell her that I could make her daily wage in one hour. It felt
unseemly but I realised that I couldnt hold myself back any longer.
Youll probably have to get over the fact that youll earn more than your parents, and
for something that you love as well..
The very easiest way to have luck in your business or career is to do something that
you love. I know, this can be an incredibly overused clich. When I was in one of le my
cubicle jobs that didnt suit me, I remember reading Do What You Love, The Money Will
Follow and I was like But WHEN mofo?! The problem was that I had completely
misunderstood this mantra. I had started doing things for money, or because I thought it was
a good idea. Not for the love of it. So the money never followed. My heart wasn't in it.
My first real business was helping women to lose weight for their wedding. I thought it
was a good idea, a niche perhaps, but it was a problem for several reasons. Firstly, Im not
that into weddings and secondly, Im not an expert in health. I was great at helping women
overcome their barriers to good health but weddings bore the shit out of me.
Just because youre good at something, doesnt mean you have to do it for a living if
your heart isn't in it. I am an excellent event manager, but my heart is no longer working
behind the scenes. Its working on stage and being the decision maker not the executor.
So, despite the fact that I have been joyfully writing, speaking, mentoring and
creating from such a young age, why did it take me so long to make it my career?
Because I was afraid.
I was afraid of people telling me I was too young, too uneducated, the wrong kind of
background, too fat or not pretty enough. Fear causes real physical pain.
Doing what I love is really freaking awesome. I love helping women be brave, do
things that scare them, create businesses and live inspired lives. But doing my own work still
scares me. Yes, it scares me to death but its so much better than trying to fit into the mould
of working for someone else.
Lucky Bitch
Writing this book caused me many shuddering nervous breakdowns and tears. Even
though I spent a lot of time writing for my website, I dont think of myself as a proper writer.
Probably because I did Business Studies at University instead of becoming a journalist.
What if its shit? What if people hate it? Oh, its terrible. Nobody is going to buy it. Im
going to throw up if anyone does buy it.
I wish I could tell you there was a magic pill which makes everything awesome but
its not true. And thats particularly true for this next group of people;
Dancers, Singers and Actors

I started tap, jazz and ballet lessons when I was eight and I took to it really easily. I
loved it and soon I was dancing almost every day after school and every weekend I was
performing in local competitions and virtually anywhere our dance teacher could find a stage
local shopping centres, festivals and retirement homes.
I never actively pursued professional dancing as I was convinced that I was too short
and had the wrong body type. You know someone who is the exact height as me? Madonna.
Im not saying that I was good enough to perform professionally, but who knows what
I could have accomplished with the desire and hope, but I completely cut off the possibility
with the belief that I was too short.
My friend Paul is a professional dancer who has performed regularly on cruise ships
and touring shows for the last ten years since he was seventeen. What most people dont
know about Paul is that he had a car accident when he was fourteen which left him with
severe leg injuries. He has trouble fully pointing his toe, but he disguises it extremely well
through good technique.
If you saw him bare-legged you would notice his injuries, and he has a slight limp
when hes tired. Ive heard people say to Paul that he works regularly because hes a guy
and hes good looking, but trust me, Paul could have had a great excuse for not being a
professional dancer. Hes also extremely dedicated to his technique and physical
appearance, which is imperative to his industry but many of his friends who dont work
regularly probably pass Pauls career off as luck.. Paul has never thought of anything else.
Talk about turning your short-comings into an advantage. Meaghan Davies is an
accomplished dancer, actor, singer and voice over artist. She is also extremely petite at just
under 5 feet tall. Here are her beautiful insights in her own words:
Have you had people (friend, family, teachers) tell that you couldn't be a performer?
It's interesting. I was fairly insecure as a child. I had a dance teacher who made me
feel as small as an ant. But then didn't we all? In a way, it made me more determined to
prove myself. My parents encouraged me and I don't ever remember them sitting me down
and telling me to "get a real job.
How have you used your height to your advantage?
Anything that makes us different can be a weakness or a strength. It's usually a
weakness if you listen to your detractors. However if you have courage inside, you realise
that your differences are what makes you stand out from a crowd and this knowledge can be
quite powerful. Being just under five foot has certainly lost me a lot of roles I'd be considered
for if I was a few inches taller. Yet at the same time, it's helped some pretty incredible people
remember me. I don't think without all the other ingredients (persistence, talent,
professionalism) my height would have helped me. But with these qualities, it has certainly
given me my own little niche. In a small industry like the Australian arts industry, sometimes I
think I'd rather fit in with the chorus line so to speak. But then when a role comes up that's a
little left of centre, it really seems to have my name on it!
Why do you think that some people with talent and the looks don't necessarily make
it? Do your friends who are performers have any particular commonalities?
Haha, I'd often say those with the looks DO make it. Those with just the talent have
to work a lot harder. It's a shame really. You hear some amazing singers doing solo sets
down the road, and then hear some really average singers in concert charging hundreds of
dollars a pop. It'd be nice if society could get past looks. After all, you don't need to be a
supermodel to be a lawyer, a teacher, a politician. And surely it's great to see a whole lot of
different types of people represented on our screens.
I really think a lot of it comes down to sheer determination. And getting that break.
You look back at the group of people you studied at university with, and most of them have
gone very successfully into other fields. Sometimes I think people just wake up and realise
that they spend a lot of time dreaming about working in the arts, but not a lot of time doing it.
It's not easy at all. And when you love something, you want to do it as much as
possible. Imagine a lawyer studying for years to become a lawyer, yet only getting an
opportunity to practise a few times a year. And in those few times, they might eventually
realise that with all the down time, and the little "work" time, it's not actually worth it. So I
Lucky Bitch
think you really have to want it. I also think you have to be willing to sacrifice a LOT for it; a
decent pay-check, a normal life, security and so on. I'm not intending to paint a bleak picture.
But it is what it is in this country. You need to do it because you love it. It's what gets you out
of bed in the morning. Otherwise I think it's just too tough. Talent and looks is not even close
to being enough. There will always be someone more attractive, more suited to a particular
role. There's a lot more to it.
Have you had any particular "lucky breaks" that you felt were divinely guided, or in
the right place at the right time?
Absolutely. It is quite serendipitous when I look at how I got to work with a certain
person. They might have seen me in a show that I almost didn't do. I might be in the right
city in the right place in the world at a certain time that has me run into someone who knows
someone I know. Not many lucky breaks come from just having your CV and headshots out
there. Often when you think you've just had enough, you get a call from your agent for a job
you are so excited to do. That's what keeps you going. It keeps you hanging in there. It
reminds you of why you do what you do.
Do you struggle to get paid well for what you love?
There isn't a lot of money in the arts in this country. And it's unfortunate. It really
limits how great the work can be. There comes a time also, when an actor needs to start
treating their work like a business. The craft is an art. But to run any business you need to
get paid.
I think it's imperative that we don't undervalue ourselves. I have trained for many,
many years to have the skills I have. I started dancing when I was three; I learnt several
musical instruments, attended back to back dance classes, singing classes, acting classes,
university, took additional workshops around the world. These skills make me the performer I
am today. And actors are asked continually to work for deferred pay. When the project is
great, the team is inspiring of course I'll consider it. However sometimes you need to step
back and say, who is gaining here. Is this my personal project or someone else's? Is it me,
or is it them that should be taking the financial risk? Can I work for nothing, again? The
answer is sometimes, okay. The answer is sometimes, no.
Anything else you want to add for aspiring actors/dancers/whatever?
We are our own biggest barriers to success. The older I get, the less energy I have to
take big risks and the less brave I become. I'm beginning to challenge this concept again.
The best moments of my life have been due to an element of risk taking. Of stepping outside
my comfort zone! I have always said if you walk into a casting and don't believe you belong
there, that you can do the job, then why on earth would the casting director believe in you?
The easiest way to achieve something is to stop just thinking about it, and actually
get out there and do it. Success should be a verb!
Artists, Sculptors and other Creatives

The starving artist mentality is alive and well in our generation, just as it has
persisted for centuries. Whats the deal with that? Who decided that its a sell-out to
actually get paid for your contribution to the world.
Business coach and art marketing consultant Freea L. Sarti helps visual artists build
sustainable businesses, meant to stand the test of time. She shares some thoughts on luck
and artistic success.
With the artists you work with, what do you think differentiates those who "make it"
and those who don't.
The main determining factor in artists who make it versus those who don't is an
artist's ability to allow their creativity to encompass all aspects of their career, not just when
it comes to producing their work. They have a willingness to be flexible, to learn new skills, to
do WHATEVER is necessary to bring their dream to full fruition. This means taking FULL
responsibility for their success and taking full control of their future.
Success can be defined in a variety of ways, so I think it is important to define that
by making it, I mean that they can comfortably support themselves financially with their
creative business, and in addition, they feel a sense of life fulfilment due to their
commitment to their own personal core values.
Specifically, they have the following attributes:
Realize the importance of investing in themselves in terms of time, energy

and money.
Know how to leverage their time, energy and resources, so that they get the
highest ROI, (Return on Investment) when engaged in business activities
Have a clear vision and strategic plan for following through
Lucky Bitch
Work within the realm of their strengths and work to improve their
weaknesses or delegate them
Are resourceful and persistent
Value themselves and their work or services
Are committed to integrity, courage and perseverance
Are fully committed to making a difference in their community, city or in the

world at large and storm the castle without hesitation
Move forward constantly, accepting that they WILL make mistakes, and
knowing that when they do, it is not a big deal and will allow them to actually
learn and expand like NEVER before.
How can artists overcome the "starving artist" mentality and earn a decent wage for their
work?
First, identify any limiting factors that hold you back from pricing your art work fairly. If you
are not sure what fair is, get help from a coach or consultant... (A really good consultant
won't tell you what price to put on your work, but will help you develop the skills and
confidence to price your own work with integrity).
Next, identify any limiting beliefs about money in general and financial success/comfort. Ask
if any obstacles exist. If so, identify whether they are internal or external. Most are internal.
Now that you have a grasp on your constraints, develop necessary skills, acquire needed
knowledge and do any spiritual or psychological work needed to shift these constraints.
If you start working on other business endeavours first, without removing any obstacles in
the way of you building a sustainable business and making a comfortable living, you'll waste
precious energy and resources. Working through this process first will save you years of
hard work.
Do you have any stories of artists who just seem really lucky? What makes them lucky?
Ginger Markley, a sculptor had the amazing privilege of taking a class with world famous
sculptor Gene Pearson. During this class Ginger learned a specific technique which
transformed her work almost overnight. Luck or will or a little bit of both, this one event
changed the course of Ginger's entire life and career.
Ciel Lorenzen, founder of ee'meesh Organics Body Products, was granted the opportunity to
travel across the globe to learn from indigenous women how to craft natural botanicals into
healing body products. Without a clear vision, she would not have learned about the
opportunity to learn a dying skill from the masters. Without this lucky experience, Ciel
would not hold the sacred wisdom that she infuses into her offerings. Once Ciel had this
knowledge, her product line exploded and she could barely keep up with her ideas for new
products.
Marne Jaye, a masterful painter of African animals had the good luck of being invited to
contribute to the Academy Award gift bags. That's a pretty amazing audience to be exposed
to and the kind of lucky opportunity that leads to sales down the road and for the life of your
career...not to mention the referrals that come as a result, which magnify your income.
In each of these cases, what made these artists really lucky was the fact that they had a
clear vision of where their careers were going and had a strategic plan. While they could
never have predicted the specific opportunities that would come to them, having clarity is
what allowed things to naturally unfold and being in the right place at the right time. In
every case luck was manifested with action, will and confidence.
Writers, Coaches and Entrepreneurs

Every single piece of advice above relates to you too. Oops, I hope you didnt skip it
because youre not a dancer or actor! Every creative profession has the danger of being
vulnerable. Forget about the voice in your head that you cant make a real business or living
out of your talent.
It doesnt matter what your excuses are, too young, too old, too fat, too something.
Laura is almost twenty six, and shes starting to do some coaching on the side of her
job, with a view to one day making it a full time vocation. She was totally deflated at a recent
event because a forty-something woman told her that she didnt have enough life experience
to be an effective coach.
Is that true? It depends, doesnt it? But chances are, the clients she will attract with
be the ones who will resonate with her particular skills and experience and shell be able to
offer real value. If she waits until someone else deems that she is ready, chances are shell
never be ready.
The same thing happened to me, but it came from my landlord of all people. When
he was showing us around our new apartment he asked me what I did for a living. His
Lucky Bitch
response was Youre a bit too young for that, arent you? My silent response was How old
do I have to be? I dont have to know all the answers, but I can ask great questions.
Every professional and entrepreneurial endeavour has an apprenticeship period
where you may have to give your services away free or take on other work to pay your bills.
Theres a learning curve in any profession and it may take you hundreds of hours in unpaid
grift before it pays off.
The problem is that theres no rule book to tell you exactly what you need to
complete your apprenticeship and, sadly, most people give up well before they can start to
taste some of the success.
JK Rowlings Harry Potter famously got rejected by 12 publishers, but thats nothing.
Gone with the Wind by Margaret Mitchell was rejected 38 times. Would you have given up
earlier than these women did?
Want to be published? How many manuscripts have you sent in the last six months?
Have you gotten and implemented any feedback about what you can improve about your
idea? Have you treated each rejection as one step in your apprenticeship or have you given
up thinking that youre unlucky and that your work is no good?
Luckily, Thomas Edison didnt take his repeated failures personally, he was just
trying to solve a problem of producing a workable light bulb and the challenge of it was
probably incredibly exciting for him.
What if you could face your career in the same way? As if publishing a book or
making a living from your website was a game you had to win and nothing more certainly
not a reflection of your worth as a person!
Lucky in Love
As I coach women, love comes up in many sessions in one way or another. Women
who are single and looking or those who have been hurt by love. Women in great
relationships, some who want to lovingly transition out of theirs. Others who have had their
hearts trampled by divorce but are starting to find their own power for the first time.
As a woman who is officially the second most married woman in the world, does that
make me an expert on love? No way. Yes, Ive been married 87 times in a Guinness World
Record attempt but marriage is no guarantee of having a fabulous relationship.
Ive had many people tell me Im a lucky bitch for my amazing husband. Yes, Im
lucky to find someone who has a complementary personality to mine, allows me to be me,
supports me in all I do, and very often is able to resist the crazy Virgo who lives inside me.
However, I come from a family of women unlucky in love. Divorce, infidelity,
domestic violence, loveless marriages and above all, an overriding message from a young
age that all men are bastards.
I would listen to my mum, Nan and aunties sit around and bitch about the men in
their lives and then they would turn to me and say Dont you ever trust a man, Denise.
Learn from us!. But unfortunately, they never seemed to learn from their own mistakes and
made them several times over!
But I vowed Never! and so I was very unlucky in the love department. I nearly
ended up with the wrong sort of man several times but luckily I got an opportunity to move
to London at age 22, where I met my husband Mark.
Despite the weddings, I feel relationships are my least area of expertise. I wish I
knew more except that loving yourself is one of the secrets to finding a good man, and then
you just need to try and relax. Before I met Mark I had made a list of everything I wanted in a
man and it was a pretty small list kind, funny, smart and who lets me be independent.
My friend Lenore said she made a gigantic list of over 200 qualities she wanted in a
man and he showed up very quickly!
Lily came to one of my goal setting seminars and I was blown away with how serious
she was about finding a relationship. Too serious, I thought. She was stressing herself out
Lucky Bitch
over it. She was so invested in her lack of a relationship, that all the dream boarding and
goal setting was not going to make anything happen.
I set her very practical tasks every week to increase her chances of manifesting her
perfect man. Luckily, she was open enough to do everything I told her, regardless of how
silly it sounded.
Lily says:
I had been a single girl for seven years when I decided it was time to do something
drastic. So I enlisted the help of Denise to turn my love life around. Denise helped me
break down barriers and make dating fun.
One of my tasks was to send out 20 messages on an internet dating site. This was
tough for me as I like to assess each profile closely. Denise said you have one
minute to look at each profile and you have to send 20 messages to interesting guys
in a week. I did it. It was terrifying at first but I started to feel more relaxed about the
whole dating thing.
Denise's great technique whereby you make what you want to manifest one of your
passwords was great as it brings the idea into your consciousness daily. I made my
Facebook profile password 'Myboyfriend'. Each day I logged in and thought of myself
as having a boyfriend. I even changed my mum's name in my mobile phone to
'Grandma'.
I was contacted by a friend five weeks ago who had a single male friend she wanted
me to meet. I was more comfortable with dating now and ready for love so I agreed
to be 'set up'. Since that meeting one month ago we've spoken or seen each other
nearly every day. I know it's only early days yet but it feels really relaxed and easy.
Time will tell if he is my life-long soul mate.
Im not surprised that Lily found love unexpectedly despite doing online dating. Just
going through the motions can lead to being ready. The exact thing happened to me.
I was living in London at age 23, and was sick of being single. I set out to find love
with a mission. Three months of internet dating and I fell in love with a guy I had been friends
with for six months or so. He was right there, but I wasnt in the right mindset to see him.
A man at my seminar (yes, they do come, but they are rare) told me that he was
looking to attract a girlfriend, but it wasnt happening. This guy knew a lot about the Law of
Attraction already, so he had done the dream board, affirmations and knew exactly what he
wanted from a girlfriend.
I asked him Hows your bedroom?
He sheepishly told me that his bedroom currently had high piles of books and papers
all around his room. Even though they were quite neat, he had to be careful walking about
the room as not to upset these towers.
How is she going to get in? I asked him.
I saw the light go off. One of the very first teachings of my Inspired Life Formula
course is to declutter your life as much as possible, both physically and emotionally. He had
done the emotional work; he just had to make some physical and energetic space for a new
lady to come into his life.
You need to make room in every way possible. One of my clients, who is twice
divorced was finally ready to attract a new man into her life but when we looked at her
calendar, there was literally no time for dates, let alone for a relationship. She also ran a
retreat business out of her home, so there was little privacy for a potential relationship. Over
a few weeks, she started to let go of some of her commitments and setting some energetic
boundaries, including reducing the amount of workshops on Friday nights and the weekend,
and giving herself some time away from her business. This action opens that energetic
space for a new relationship to enter your life.
Here are some quick tips if you feel like youve been unlucky in finding love:
Declutter your bedroom, in particular the bedside drawer on the opposite side of
the bed and make some room in your closets and drawers
Throw out any old underwear
Get a bikini wax or start getting laser hair removal
Get some room in your calendar, even if you just spend a few nights or weekends
by yourself.
Dont tell yourself that youll start taking care of yourself when you have a special
someone in your life. Start acting as if youre already loved and the Universe will soon take
care of the missing partner.
Lucky Bitch
A Great Relationship Can Double Your Luck

I completely appreciate how lucky I am to have a partner who is so open-minded and
just as committed to creating an amazing life. Without his support and enthusiasm for
winning the Ultimate Job, we may not have won. My optimism may have been enough but
with both of us aligned to the outcome, we were unbeatable.
Together we believe in our luck as a couple and continually affirm to each other how
lucky we are to be so compatible. Im so lucky! is a refrain heard constantly in our house,
as well as Im so proud of you.
It also helps to have someone to talk to when things get rough. Yes, Im very positive
but I have periods of self-doubt too. Mark can pull me back from falling into a pit of despair
and self-pity by reminding me that Im smart, capable and simply awesome. His belief in me
expands my belief in myself.
Do you regularly talk about your goals and dreams together? Do you have a sense of
what your partner is trying to achieve with their own life? Do you support each other and
reflect each others highest possible potential?
You may not want to take your partner on the exact same personal development path
as you, but it helps if they understand what you are doing, and especially why. After all, they
will be around for the journey, and will also reap the benefits of your success.
However, some partners could use a little nudge in the right direction, and some of
your new luck mentality might rub off on them too!
What if your partner is sabotaging you?
It can be hard making a big lifestyle change if your partner isnt supportive and it feels
like they are undermining your effort to improve your life.
Ive heard terrible examples of a husband being so unsupportive and threatened by
his wifes new venture that he changed the internet password so she couldnt work on her
new business. It just made her more determined. His fear was that if she had her own life
and succeeded by herself, shed leave him. Of course, the fact that he was such a complete
dick-head meant that the failure of their marriage was inevitable.
Its very common to feel threatened when one half of the couple starts changing,
perhaps by becoming fitter and healthier or succeeding in an area of your life. He may have
secret worries that you will no longer find him attractive or good enough, or that some other
caveman; I mean, man will snatch you away.
Encouragement and praise works well
I hate to say it but men are vain creatures, and you can exploit that by offering
compliments before hes even done anything. Start to make him feel good, fortunate and
lucky just because hes with you.
Unfortunately nagging incessantly doesnt work, Ive tried and tried, but keeping
positive and telling him hes already the man you love.
16. Hey have you lost weight?
17. Well done for that new client you got at work
18. You look great in that suit
Before you know it, hes preening in the mirror and feeling motivated because he
knows you love him. This definitely works, because hell start to see himself in a new light,
and it wont take much convincing him that hes a stud muffin (even if its on the
inside;.waaaaay inside).
Dont tell Mark I told you this, but he was really overweight when we met. I never
mentioned anything about his weight, only told him how handsome and sexy he was. I
introduced him to healthy food that made us both feel good and within 6 months he was a
completely changed man. His personality shifted too. He didnt have to play the chubby,
cheeky guy. He could be happy in himself and I supported him either way.
Be the example
If you are constantly moaning and complaining, then you are hardly the best advert
for a lucky life. Its a huge transformation on one hand but on the other, its not that big a
deal. You dont have to drastically change your lifestyle to harness your luck you are still
the same person just a lighter, happier and more successful version of yourself. What a
lucky guy he is to have you!
Make yourself happy
If all else fails and he doesnt seem to support your journey into the superstar you
are, then please dont let that stop you. This is for your own personal happiness, and nobody
Lucky Bitch
should derail that for you. Dont let your partners negative or indifferent attitude make you
think that you are not worth it.
Dealing with breakups

What happens when the fairy tale ends? Many people feel like such a failure after
divorce, as if their luck has run out for good. However, your growth cannot be held back by
someone else. In some cases, you can find the courage to bless the experience and let go.
Leah Groot writes,
I knew I was leaving my husband but we were committed to a job overseas for a few
months and I was struggling with everything. One day I asked for help and immediately my
wedding ring started burning my finger (this had never happened before). I took it off and
straight away I realised the emotional significance of this physical act and I was a lot calmer
from then on.
Sarah had gone through the biggest transformation over the last couple of years and
learnt that loving herself was more important than staying in her relationship even though
nothing was actually wrong.
You seemed to have a great marriage, but shortly after your 10th wedding
anniversary, it was over. What made you decide to leave?
I had the big fairy tale wedding and thats exactly what it was - not real. I knew on my
wedding day that I was marrying for safety and security. My husband was the first man I met
who had a job and wasnt on drugs and he was a decent man.
I met him at 21 and married at 23. Of course there were times over the years when I
felt I was in love with him and we had some great times but there was always that voice of
doubt telling me I was living half a life.
It only came as a shock to so many people when we split up because I had felt too
guilty to tell anyone how I really felt. My family was constantly telling me how lucky I was to
have my husband and I essentially felt invisible. I used to hide my body up and not want to
be noticed. I hid behind him a lot as an excuse not to face the world.
I am an actress so am very good at pretending everything is okay. I could use my
voice on stage, but was too afraid in the real world. I went to America to do a film-acting
course for a month and it totally changed my life. I was on my own in a new country with no
one to hide behind and I discovered that people liked me for me, and that I actually had a big
voice with lots to say. I was a woman, not just a wife.
Essentially over the next six months my husband and I grew further apart as I began
to embrace who I really was. He said to me that if I was to stay with him I would have to
change back into who I had been before. I knew then that no matter what pain was to come,
it was too painful to stay in a relationship that had become too small for both of us.
What's life post-divorce (good, bad and the ugly?)
Life post-divorce at first was horrible. I left my comfortable two-bedroom home,
having the financial security within my marriage, and moved into a friends tiny spare room
the other side of London. I started a job I hated the day after I left my husband. I had to
somehow start supporting myself fully.
I was in such a mess, I think having to get up every day and go to work was the only
thing that got me through. I used to wear dark glasses on the train for six months so I could
cry.
I spent the next year running around dating ridiculous men because I couldnt bear
to be alone. I think those initial six months were the hardest of my life. I remember standing
on the side of a train track in London in the freezing cold, having no money, no husband, no
home and thinking I would never recover.
Yet in that moment that quiet calm voice inside me told me everything would be
okay and the storm would clear. I was getting to see how strong I actually was.
When my divorce settlement eventually came through I did more living in 18 months
than I had done for 35 years. I went to Rio to learn to surf and hang-glide, I wrote and
produced 2 short films, did stand-up comedy in Hollywood, joined a writing class and was
awarded most original work of the term.
I learnt to Tango and Samba whilst being taught entirely in Portuguese. I learnt the
trapeze, I travelled to New York and LA. I danced every week. I fell in love and lost love. I
had money and lost money.
However through my heartbreak and every new experience I finally understood what
life is. I learnt compassion, and I was finally alive. As I write this it is nearly two years to the
day that my husband and I separated. Of course there are moments that are tough but I
always live from my heart now and I have never looked back.
Lucky Bitch
What resistance did you get from friends and family?

My family pretty much stopped speaking to me when my marriage fell apart. They
totally blamed me, and had put my husband on a pedestal. My husband actually told me if I
left I would never cope and that I would be homeless. My mother had told him to throw me
out on the streets to teach me a lesson.
I felt when I was married they had lost sight of me. I truly believed they had come to
love my husband more than me; of course that was not the case. It took 6 months of me
standing on my own two feet and coping without them for them to see I was actually serious
and it wasnt a phase.
I had some very tough talks with my father eventually and even now he doesnt fully
understand how I could be happy without a husband. My mother and I eventually reconciled
and I am now closer than ever to my family. I have had to forgive them for not being there
when I needed them, but at the same time that period in my life taught me a lot about myself.
I had always been the good girl in my family, I had married like the good girl whereas
underneath I had slowly been falling apart, but I had never told anyone.
All my female friends were amazing. They never judged and always listened, even in
my most crazy moments. My husband and I had our own friends, so it didnt affect my social
circle at all. I have the most wonderful and creative women in my life now and really, they
have become family to me.
Your photos are so unbelievably beautiful - did you know you had this talent?
I had no idea. I am looking at photographs on my desk now and thinking Did I really
take that? Last year I had this intuitive nudge to get a camera, it just kept coming up. So I
ordered one that was basic but felt good to use. It arrived and just lay on the side for a
month and I thought Well that was a waste of money- my intuition was clearly off. However
when I got to Los Angeles in February I just started taking pictures and havent stopped
since.
I always let my husband take the pictures and I just assumed I was no good at it. Im
learning the technical side so my pictures can match my vision. I am discovering I love the
post process work too and I am surprised to learn I am a visual artist. I am nurturing this
talent and I know it is linked to my acting and writing.
I dont know where this journey is going but I am enjoying it very much. It feels like
yet another part of me has opened up and I can see what I couldnt before. I think I am less
scared of expressing myself in this way as I feel there is less at risk at this stage compared
to my acting. I expect as I progress more fears will come up but right now I feel like a child
who gets to play and make beautiful art.
You deserve love

If love wasnt such an important part of being human, why is every song about it?
Why are we always talking about it finding it, losing it, renewing and maintaining it.
Take time to forgive and forget the past so you can move on and break the old
patterns. Rip up old love letters, throw away the manky sweater youre still hanging on to
and let go of the fears you have about opening up your heart.
The biggest secret I know to have an audaciously awesome relationship is to realise
that you deserve it. You deserve to be lucky in love. You deserve awesome sex and a
partner who supports you and contributes to your well-being.
If youre in a relationship, how can you take it to the next level? What direction are
you travelling in together? Get another person to believe in you and youll be amazed at
what you can create together.
Love rocks, you lucky things!
Lucky Bitch
Abundantly Lucky
Growing up with a single mother on child support didnt give me the best financial start in
life. Money was tight, my mum worked several jobs to support us and there wasnt a lot extra
to go around. However, like most kids, I wasnt too worried about money. I just wanted to
play with my friends and have a good time. My mums views on money was that it came and
went, you hard to work hard for it but also good fortune would come when you least
expected it. Mum is extremely lucky and would often win at bingo or on the poker machines.
Something happened when I was twelve that completely warped my view on money and
abundance. We lived in a council estate where everyones family was the same, everyone
had the exact same house and nobody had anything flashy or ostentatious.
My mum met and married a very rich, older man and we moved out of the council estate
and into his huge mansion. Everything changed and it felt like we won the lottery!
Suddenly, we were driven to school in a beautiful white car with pop-up headlights
instead of my mums old brown bomb with rips in the dashboard. I got a pony and my brother
got a motorbike. We had six cats, two dogs and five acres of land to play in.
It was heaven. We had a housekeeper, our own TV and VHS in our rooms and I had
double bed like a princess. Everything about that house was luxurious a fully stocked bar,
a walk-in pantry and closet to me, it was the ultimate house. Everyone thought we were so
lucky!
My friends came over and I loved showing them around our house with its formal dining
room, two lounge rooms, three car garage and swimming pool. Every part of the house had
something interesting, like a Wurlitzer jukebox and billiard table. I had my thirteenth birthday
party in that house and I thought I was so cool. I was the luckiest girl in the world!
However, as people who marry for money and security find out quickly, Mum and my
step-dad werent terribly suited. The relationship was fairly turbulent and over the four years
they were together, they would constantly break up and we would be kicked out. Our little
family would move in and out of that mansion four times, each time moving into a different
small, cheap rental which was all my mum could afford by herself.
Rags to riches, rags to riches.
It was confusing and humiliating. That experience taught me a valuable lesson but as
usual, I took it to the extreme. I decided that you cant trust money and for years, I told
myself that if anything good happened in my life, it was just a matter of time until it all turned
to shit. Dont get comfortable. Good times dont last. Rich men rule the world.
Working hard is not enough

I spent my twenties thoroughly exhausting myself trying to prove that I would be
independent and never be at the mercy of someone else. As well as going to University full
time, I juggled four or five jobs at a time. A long weekend was seen as a great opportunity to
work more. But I never got ahead. I never saved always working from pay cheque to pay
cheque and worrying constantly about money.
If working hard was enough, more people would be rolling in riches. If the world was fair,
teachers and nurses would get paid as much as investment bankers.
However, some people on average incomes seem to have a knack for making money,
just as some rich people have a knack of wasting it. Whats their secret?
My friend Kate is a female fire-fighter and one of the smartest people I know. She and
her husband have a clear vision and a plan for their financial future, and it includes investing
in property. Shes looking ahead to the day when they have children and she has to retire
from fire-fighting.
Lucky Bitch
Kate doesnt rely on luck to find the best properties. She has invested money in taking
a course, learning about the market and hiring a mentor to help her. Rather than spending
15 minutes looking at a house and buying it, like Mark and I did in 2005, she researches and
calculates on massive spreadsheets before she takes the risk.
Overworked and underpaid

Self-worth is 100% tied up with money, and many women undersell themselves.
Ive had many jobs in my life, over fifty at the last count. Many of them were low-skilled
and low-waged jobs like cleaning, waitressing, temping or TV extra work; mostly jobs that I
absolutely hated.
I also did many things for money that I now regret. To pay for my school fees one
semester, I participated in a paid medical experiment, testing out a new morphine based
drug. Weeks after my experiment and long after the money was spent, there was an
experiment where peoples fingers and toes fell off and a several people died.
I also worked for a phone-sex company during University. It was in many ways the
perfect job for me because it was open 24 hours a day, so I could take on as many shifts as I
wanted. It was a well-run office that looked like any other and the other women were all ages
and ethnicities. I was nineteen, and I thought it was hilarious. I enjoyed drama so I overacted every conversation and loved telling people about it. I thought it gave me something
interesting and memorable to tell people. Faking sexy moans at 3am while I was
simultaneously studying for my economics exam was proof to myself that I was independent
and proud of it.
I understand why I did it at the time and how I justified it to myself, but Im sad that I
didnt believe I could use my talents in better ways for a pay cheque.
Even as I progressed in my career, I never made more than a certain amount. My
income threshold was stuck. Every time I was in line for a pay increase, I would sabotage
myself by either leaving the company, or feeling resentful that someone else was getting
paid more than me. The money conversation was scary to me.
We show the Universe how to treat us

Although I went to many seminars about developing a millionaire mindset, in reality, I felt
guilty spending even the smallest scrap of money on myself.
I only shopped at second hand shops, so my clothes always felt ill-fitted. I treated myself
like a second class citizen. I read books about millionaires and dreamed about having a lot
of money but I lived like a pauper. The message I was sending out was I dont deserve.
And thats exactly what I got in return.
A lucky windfall wont solve your money problems

Lottery winners dont have their problems solved overnight by their unexpected windfall
because money doesnt change you, in only enhances who you already are. If you
fundamentally believe that being rich makes you a bad person, or if you think that it will solve
all of your problems it doesnt matter how much money you get.
According to NSW Lotteries, the odds of choosing all 6 winning numbers is
approximately 8,145,060 to one, but here are some interesting statistics for you. Camelot
Group who operate the UK lottery released a survey of their national lottery winners to show
what affect winning the lottery had on their overall happiness and lifestyle.
55% are happier after winning, 43% reported no affect on happiness and just
2% are less happy
90% of winners who already had a best friend before winning are still best
friends with the same person.
84% of winners have not taken up any new hobbies since their win.
32% of all winners state they have gained weight since their win, compared to
14% who lost them.
Lucky Bitch
44% of their winnings were spent after 5 years
88% of lottery winners still participate in the lottery every week and just 2%
have stopped playing altogether.
What tells me is that money in itself doesnt really change your life too much. If you
struggled to lose weight before,
If you dont know how to handle money, you will always end up broke.
Being rich and famous isnt enough to shield you from your money problems. Lindsay
Lohan has estimated to have burned through eight million dollars of her acting income
through wild partying, drugs and alcohol, holidays and luxury goods. She bought herself a
luxury car and promptly crashed it, and shes been forced to sell two properties which could
have been a valuable nest egg if she decided to stop acting.
Reality stars Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag had many lucky breaks and made
millions from their shows and endorsement deals. They are now living rent-free at Spencers
parents house and wondering what happened to all that money.
Anyone who has built a large fortune from scratch will tell you it took time and effort to
build long-lasting wealth.
Elizabeth Taylor was famously the first woman to make one million dollars for a film role
and according to reports, grew her fortune to close to one billion dollars, despite not starring
in a movie since 1994 (The Flintstones!). Her White Diamonds perfume made close to
seventy million dollars in 2010 alone and her jewellery collection was worth more than one
hundred and fifty million dollars. Liz had no trouble holding onto her wealth and obviously
invested well.
Contrast that to other film stars who ended their final years in poverty having squandered
entire fortunes. Marilyn Monroe, equally as famous as Elizabeth Taylor, although only 36 at
the time of her death left very little in her will besides her house, clothes and personal
effects. Would she have been able to amass a large personal fortune or would she have
continued the same patterns?
Asking for what you want

Sometimes the lucky people get what they want simply because they ask for it. In the
corporate world, women are least likely to approach a pay increase at all or they just get
what they are given.
My friend Jo Townsend is a business and finance journalist, TV presenter and producer.
And dammit, shes always been good with money. We used to work together in the school
holidays and she always managed to save her money while mine was frittered away. While I
make dream boards and meditate on abundance, Jo saves and invests!
Jos website is www.jogirl.com and she gives practical, non-scary advice on all things
money for normal women like you and me. One thing that shes adamant about is asking for
a pay increase and not waiting for someone else to hand it to you.
Here are her valuable tips:
Remember that things will only be uncomfortable for a little while hopefully
only a few minutes in front of your boss. Like doing the plank at Bootcamp,
its short term pain, you know that uncomfortable moment is going to go
away. So make like a band-aid and do it quick.
Talk to your boss in positive terms dont make it seem like a whinge.
Something along the lines of I love it here, but I want to be paid more is
going to come across a lot better than I hate that I dont get paid enough
when asking for a salary increase.
19. Make a list of notes in case your mind goes blank in the office or send a
short, friendly email outlining your contributions to the company over the past
year and why you should have a pay hike. But always try to do at least part of
the negotiating in person. Itll mean more cash for you.
Lucky Bitch
20. Do your research first and work out what the market is paying for similar
positions.
21. Tell the truth. If you havent been sought out by a rival company, dont make
out that you have itll come back to bite you.
22. And if you really dont think your boss will give you cash, try to negotiate on
the things that cost you to come to work gym fees in the city, parking and
toll passes, and other benefits.
Overcoming money blocks

Its incredibly common for women to have massive resistance about earning good money
and were still earning much less than men. Why? In many cases were more efficient than
men, were good at our jobs and our interpersonal skills are better.
I believe we all have a river of abundance. Its just some of us have large rocks (ok,
boulders) or even a rusty car in ours. The trickle is still coming to us, but theres so much
crap in the way, such as:
Negative self-beliefs: thats for other people, not for me. Im not destined to be rich
Guilt: it cant be so easy to make money I should give my gifts away for free
Negative thoughts: rich people are so selfish and destructive to the environment.
In my experience, female entrepreneurs have it worse because we have to set our
prices, ask for the sale and deal with our own taxes. It brings up many fears, insecurity and
anxiety for some of my clients.
At one of my events, a woman told me that she abandoned her business as a personal
trainer because she literally could not accept money from her clients. She loved what she
did, it was fulfilling to her and she felt like she was making a real difference. However, it was
sending her broke, because a client would try and pay her and she went into awkward
spasms. Then because she wasnt clear about her boundaries like paying in advance or
even paying on the day of training, clients (unconsciously or deliberately) wouldnt pay her,
would forget to bring money to training sessions or take advantage of her.
She had to go back to working for someone else because she couldnt afford to run the
business at a loss any more. Very sad, especially since she loved it so much and people
were willing to pay her. It should have been a no-brainer.
Many creative women, especially the actors, dancers, artists and writers have incredible
trouble earning money from their talent, because its an unconventional career choice and so
tied up in their individual identity that it feels like cheating.
Many women now who earn their living through a combination of things, such as
coaching, speaking and writing start offering their information for free, through blogs or
through practising coaching on the top of their full-time job. The transition between free and
paid can feel like a leap too far.
So, you overcome that hurdle and youre earning good money. How far can you go? I
often ask women whats a seemly amount of money to be paid?. Theres an unspoken and
unacknowledged threshold.
Money brings up so many emotions for people. When I shared how excited I was to be
paid $500 for a speech, I had a comment saying that I was being narcissistic and a show-off.
What would happen if I got paid thousands for a speech?
Ask yourself what youre comfortable with and strive to stretch that boundary.
Time to grow up
I was very comfortable having a conversation around being a millionaire, but it terrified
me having a meeting with an accountant. Literally, I was terrified and sweaty.
I still have to force myself to pay my taxes, to remind myself that I have to put money
aside and not to spend all of my money like a teenager on clothes and shoes. But at least I
Lucky Bitch
can actually spend money on myself now! I have no more problem to spend money on
clothes.
An adult knows that she needs to spend her money wisely, have a good relationship with
her finances and also believes thats it ok to earn money.
Its a balancing act between the mindset and the practicality.
I believe to truly lucky wealthy women need both. The abundance mindset, to believe
that you are allowed and deserving to make a good living and if you wish, to be wealthy.
AND she needs the big girl responsibilities.
Its not always about the money

In just two years I won over half a million dollars worth of travel, courses, tickets,
scholarships and home study programmes. But I still had debt and no money in the bank.
But it seemed that every time I wanted something, it would appear as if by magic.
I was frustrated that I couldnt earn very much money. Finally I realised what was
happening. The Universe was giving me exactly what I was asking for, despite having such
huge money blocks. Its because I was getting into the feeling of having these things in my
life, rather than the lack. I got excited about travel and going to seminars. I aligned them to
me and they were attracted to my energy. We were a vibrational match!
I didnt want to look a gift-horse in the mouth, and I realised that I felt so incredibly
supported but I also felt like a pampered child, getting what I wanted but not experiencing
the adult place of being able to pay for things myself.
Finally I said out loud Thank you so much Universe for bringing me what I want and
need. I appreciate being so looked after. Im a big girl now and Id like the opportunity to earn
some actual money, so I can pay for things too.
After that, some amazing things started to happen. Clients started showing up and I
allowed myself to accept money for my work.
So, dont think you always need physical money to show up. You may not even need to
be a millionaire to live the lifestyle you want to lead!
But money is nice too, so go out and get some you lucky lady!
Lucky Bitch
Exceptionally good health

I used to look at women who were naturally slim and vibrant and think lucky bitch
because I always struggled with my weight. But it was more than that. I felt sluggish,
unmotivated and I was always tired. I wanted to have the energy to do all the awesome
things I wanted to do but my body couldnt keep up with my brain!
Good health is your birth-right. Its about you living your best life, feeling healthy and
confident and knowing 100% that you deserve it. As usual, the difference between being an
effortlessly healthy person and someone who angsts about it usually comes down to how
you feel about yourself and what you think you deserve.
Heres how to tip the odds in your favour:
Own your past

Its time to understand what may be holding you back from the fantastic health you
crave, whether its better sleep or to look smoking hot in a bikini. To be able to clear the slate
and be effortlessly healthy, you need to get clear on where youve come from, identify why
youve failed or succeeded in the past and put that old story to rest.
Many women who struggle to lose weight feel like major failures, but this is not true.
When you take the time to analyse your past, you can see patterns that were holding you
back, some of which were completely out of your control.
Your first task is simply to write down your story. This is a really important exercise
because you can get really deep and dirty and describe your struggles in vivid and
compelling detail. Its only for you, so you can get really on what has been holding you back
until now. You just need to be completely honest with yourself. You dont have to share this
with anyone.
It may be crystal clear what your patterns are, or you may need to do some further
probing. If you have a sympathetic friend, telling it to someone else (if you are comfortable
about that) can usually uncover themes that you werent even aware of.
Diets dont work

I just dont believe that diets work otherwise you wouldnt hear so many horror
stories of women who have struggled for years through ridiculous things like the Atkins diet
or eating nothing but cabbage soup.
Being rich and famous doesnt mean your diets will work even if you have a private
chef and personal trainer. Even the Biggest Loser contestants struggle to maintain even an
average level of exercise and diet after they leave the show.
One of the worlds most famous failed dieters, Oprah Winfrey shares many stories
about times in her life when her eating was completely out of control. One day she was so
desperate for junk food that she threw some frozen buns in the oven and turned the heat up
high to cook them quickly. She was so impatient she ate them, burnt on the outside and
frozen on the inside and covered all over with maple syrup. This is a woman who is a
billionaire. She could hire someone to watch her 24/7 but she suffers from the same problem
as other women.
My idea of a fun treat was to go to all-you-can-eat Pizza Hut and you might think Im
exaggerating but I could sit there for hours. I actually went there to celebrate my 26th
birthday! I absolutely loved pepperoni pizza couldnt get enough and I would eat and eat
and literally never feel full. I could eat much more than male friends, and would come out
with my stomach straining, but always feeling like I could fit in just one more piece;..
For my 28th birthday, I had afternoon tea at the Ritz Hotel in London. Its a beautiful
and memorable experience that I would recommend to anyone. Its also a fancy kind of allyou-can-eat because the waiters top up your scones and sandwiches for as long as two
hours! Well, I just couldnt stop. We were the last people left in the dining room and kept
taking more and more. I hobbled to the toilet and could barely peel off my Spanx!
Overeating until I was sick was a regular occurrence for me. I also had a serious
McDonalds addiction, which I would hide from Mark and Id also buy a packet of crisps to
eat on the way home.
Why the gluttony? I thought I just liked food and that I was greedy. But I know that I
ate to make myself feel numb and to deal with areas in my life where I felt uncomfortable,
such as work. My eating resembled a form of self-harm. Making myself fat also let me stay in
those situations because I didnt have the energy to change it.
When I got clear on my past, I realised:
I was numbing myself with food when I was stressed or worried
I was using food as punishment or reward instead of self-nourishment
I was staying fat to justify bad situations in my life
Lucky Bitch
I beat myself up when I did something bad
Make a commitment to yourself

I can remember the day clearly when I decided that I was going to commit myself
fully to changing my health. Heres what was going on for me at the time:
Physically, I was at my heaviest weight and I didnt feel comfortable in myself. I didnt
want to spend money on fat clothes, so I wore dull colours and second hand clothing. I was
stingy with myself to the point of embarrassment.
I had recurring problems with my knees and back, so I was going to the
physiotherapist all the time. I suffered from anxiety at work, which gave me itchy fits and
constant sweatiness and bad B.O. My skin was dull and my eyes were lifeless.
I had been hospitalised two and a half years earlier with pneumonia, and I still felt like
I was physically weak. I would get puffed out climbing stairs, and if I got a cold I was worried
that the pneumonia would come back. My body felt heavy and I knew I wasnt healthy.
Energetically, I wasnt great either. I constantly felt stressed and tired. Mark would try
and encourage me to exercise with him, but I couldnt muster the energy. I just liked to lie
around reading on the weekend. Work was grinding me down and I found I was getting really
negative, constantly bitching and complaining about work and my colleagues.
Keep it simple
What really helped for me was forgiving myself for the mistakes of my past, forgiving
others so I could move on from pain and deciding that I was worth it.
I started eating lots of green salads and green smoothies every morning for
breakfast. I still do this now just throw some spinach and fruit in a blender.
I started doing yoga which gave me peace of mind and the feeling I was doing
something that was stretching me physically and emotionally.
When I heard about rebounding (jumping on a mini trampoline), I thought it was too
good to be true. How can something that low impact give you good results? Anyway, Im
fairly lazy, so I decided to buy one to see how I feel. Its fun and a good stress release too.
Choose simple nourishing food

Its as simple as that. Tell yourself there are no rules. You are the adult and YOU are
in control of what you are eating, maybe for the first time you can remember.
There are however, principles and choices. Principles can give you a new framework
of which foods will truly make your body sing. Then you have the right to choose to eat those
foods in whatever quantity you want. Principles of fresh, clean, unprocessed and organic
foods.
Each time you make a choice that nourishes your body; you are stepping closer to
your dreams. Every time you make a choice that harms or otherwise compromises your
health is stepping you further from your dream. Thats it. It doesnt make your dream
disappear; it just means you should make your next choice a better one. That way, you are
moving in the right direction.
You may think that if you finally relaxed and had no rules about your food, you might
go crazy and eat everything in sight. Trust me, that wont happen (well, maybe for a day!).
Puts yourself in charge of your health. The more simple, fresh and life-giving food
you can put into your body, the easier it becomes. When your body is nourished it stops
crying out for you to put more into it.
Its more than your dress size

Of course, health is more than just pure weight. After all someone can look skinny
but be incredibly unhealthy on the inside. Think of the skinny models that smoke and eat
junk food. Eventually that will catch up with them, either in middle aged weight gain or some
serious disease like cancer.
In 2005 I had a serious bout of pneumonia, which led to me being in hospital for two
weeks. When I was discharged my clothes hung off me I had lost so much weight. My first
shopping trip out after hospital, I was enamoured with my skinny frame which is ridiculous
because I was still recovering from a serious illness I could barely walk up stairs without
wheezing, my skin was pale and sallow and I had just spent two weeks eating hospital food
and junk food my friends smuggled into the hospital!
Lucky Bitch
Take care of the little things

Like most people, you probably have some niggling health problems youve been
ignoring. Some of them may be caused by your current diet, and others can be prevented
with a bit of self- care, exercise or long overdue professional attention.
Go to the dentist for a check-up
Get your cervical smear done on time
Check out that dodgy back pain
Buy some awesome running shoes
If there is something wrong with your body, dont take it as a sign that you are not
destined to lose weight or theres something wrong with you as a person. Dont wait until
your knees are better, or your back doesnt hurt so much to start changing your life. Use that
as a reason to get better and healthier.
Holistic health professionals know that the outside of your body can indicate the
health of the inside. They dont just treat the symptoms, but look for the underlying cause.
In Gillian McKeiths book, You Are What You Eat, she list symptoms that may be
linked to dietary deficiencies. For example spots around your jaw may indicate a problem
in your kidney area, and excessive yawning and sighing (definitely what I used to do) can
mean that you are suffering from hypoglycaemia (low blood sugar). Not surprisingly, Gillian
recommends a diet that is mainly vegetable based with small amounts of grains and lean
meat.
Louise Hays book You Can Heal Your Life offers possible emotional reasons behind
health problems and gives affirmations which will help overcome blocks to healing your
body.
For example, under bowel problems, the probable cause could be fear of letting go of
the old and no longer needed. The healing affirmation is I freely and easily release the old
and joyously welcome the new.
Make an inventory of how things are working in your body right now. Dont judge
anything emotionally, like thinking too fat, or ugly. Try and be objective as if you were a
doctor merely recording symptoms.
Is there something that you know you could be taking care of right now, but you are
resisting because of the time, money or other reasons involved in solving it?
You would never neglect an innocent child like you neglect yourself, would you?
By neglect, I mean all the things in your body that you ignore or put up with. My
physiotherapist says that he sees people who tell him they cant raise their arm above their
head. When he asks how long its been going on they say oh, about ten years.
Now when something feels wrong I deal with it straight away. Theres usually a
practical reason usually something Im eating. It doesnt mean Im not worth it, or my body
is resisting weight loss.
Aligned yourself with good health

As I started taking better care of myself emotionally I started to eliminate some
physical problems too. It was a big realisation to me that I didnt have to suffer.
To me, good health is more than just exercise and diet.
It's really a point of view and a mental attitude you have about yourself.
Angela Lansbury
This has got nothing to do with will power. Whats going on in your head can
completely sabotage your daily activities and make everything a mental tug of war that you
have to fight with the sheer force of will. Even if you are doing everything right, like eating
well with nourishing food and exercising your body, you can be totally tripped up by your
mind and heart being out of alignment with your desires. You have to be willing to grow and
change on an inner level for permanent change to happen. Thats why people can drastically
change their outward appearance temporarily on a crash diet but return back normal equally
quickly; nothings changed on the inside.
Think of the language we use. I am fat. We reduce our whole being to a substance
on our bodies. Fat in itself is not an enemy. Its an essential part of our brain, regulates our
hormones and runs our whole body, but its become such an emotive issue for women. It
becomes who we are.
Theres no magic
My friend Amber lost a bunch of weight for her wedding (again, I was thinking lucky
bitch!), so I asked her what she did. Pretty simple really:
Lucky Bitch
The biggest help for me to tell you the truth was to cut out bread for five days of the
week. I am still trying to do this now but am more relaxed about it. It made such a huge
difference to me. I felt more awake! Less bloated! Had more energy!
I also started doing a bit more regular exercise - the best thing about it is I never
went to the gym. I started just going for a 10 minute walk every couple of days. Then thought
to myself, Well thats very easy - I'll add another 10 minutes.
I never did more than 30 minutes of walking/running (mostly walking) 5 days a week.
I would start off by running to get my heart rate up quickly then walk briskly to keep it at that
rate for the full 20-30 minutes.
I would also supplement it with yoga in the mornings 2-3 days a week - again only
around 25 minutes. So really not a huge amount of exercise but enough that I was either
losing or maintaining my weight.
One other major factor was to cut down my meal sizes. I managed to shrink my
appetite down in order not to need to eat too much in one sitting. Plus actually thinking about
eating and deciding how hungry I was on a scale of 1-10 and eating accordingly to that (this
is a Paul McKenna technique).
Simple right? No luck involved, but regular consistent work. No angst necessary.
Release your fears

When I managed to lose weight, I struggled with fears around being thin. I was afraid
I would become vain and shallow, or get unwelcome attention from men. I could also blame
my health challenges on my weight, such as depression, anxiety and low motivation and
some sick part of me didnt want to give that up.
Its not surprising that I would frequently put the lost weight back on. Holding onto the
weight validated some of the excuses I used for not living my dream life. For example, I
could justify being depressed because I was overweight, and I could justify being overweight
because I was depressed! If Mark gently suggested going to the gym together, I would snap
at him Cant you see how down I am? I dont have the energy to exercise! Are you saying
Im fat?
Have you ever been doing really well on a new diet and getting great results, and
then suddenly you are sabotaging yourself and feeling massive resistance about continuing?
This is incredibly common because all of a sudden you are in new territory, and you dont
know how to act. If you dont have a script for your new life, youll just revert to someone
elses. Or you fear that you will, so it stops you from achieving your goals.
Let me explain you might have a friend who is naturally slim, but you think shes
really vain and obsessed with her looks. So you worry that youll be vain if you are slim. So,
its safer to stay the way you are. But thats her script, not yours and you dont have to repeat
it. This is an incredibly common phenomenon but we never recognise it. Its easier to think
that we dont have the will-power than it is to admit that were scared of what life will be like
when all our dreams come true. The fear of the unknown seems to be stronger than the
potential reward.
After all, if youve never felt slim, vibrant and healthy, how do you know how to act
when you get there? You might struggle with the identity of the new you. Who is she? What
does she like? How does she dress or behave in public? How does she deal with the new
attention from men?
You might fear that youll act differently, that your friends wont like the new you,
some people might be jealous, or that in some way it will put your relationship in jeopardy.
Sometimes our scripts are dictated by other peoples expectations of us. Perhaps youve had
a friend say a negative comment to you when you thought you looked great, or you had a
boyfriend act jealous around other men. Maybe you yourself have acted badly in the past
and you decided that it was safer to be overweight than to risk it happening again.
You may worry that youll become a completely different person or that others will
view you negatively. A common fear is that youll have a lot of male attention that you cant
handle and that youll even cheat on your new partner.
When you think about all your health goals coming true, what fears come up?
If I achieve this goal, Im afraid that;..
Whats the very worst thing that could happen?
These fears are definitely real for you but if you focus on them, thats what you will
get. You will be stuck living someone elses script. The trick is to make your ideal life so
compelling that its exciting to think about that instead of the fears you have.
Be happy now
Lucky Bitch
You dont have to wait until some perfect day in the future to get a manicure, or to
buy a fabulous pair of shoes. Some things dont even cost money, like spending an extra 15
minutes on your makeup or hair each morning. If you cant be bothered doing it now, what
makes you think that you will when youre slim? Step into her shoes and make it real for you
NOW.
Remember this is a journey and a life-long process. There will never be a time when
everything is fixed and perfect because that doesnt exist. You can choose to be happy in
each moment if you want to.
Making your dream of exceptional health so compelling, so irresistible that you feel
yourself living it more and more each day. The more you believe in the new exciting vision,
the more reality will feel like a temporary state and you will naturally start to act in the way
that nourishes your ideal self. Success breeds success and small but regular incremental
changes lead to permanent and long lasting transformation.
Extreme Self-Care Makeover

Self-care is not just about buying yourself flowers or going to the hairdresser but
treating yourself how you would treat others. This includes forgiving yourself for mistakes in
any area of your life. Imagine saying youre so stupid, you never get anything right to a little
kid, or you are so fat to your mother.
Getting my lifelong weight struggle under control has come from a process
of treating myself as well as I treat others in every way.
Oprah Winfrey
I love spending time in solitude, sitting in a beautiful space either at home or in a
park and just reading and enjoying the beauty around me. Being in nature makes me feel
good and healthy.
Sometimes when we are busy, fun things go out the window because we think we
dont have time. When money is tight, we feel guilty about spending money on fun
experiences. The reason why its so important is that when we laugh and have fun we feel
lighter and happier. This spills over into how we treat our bodies.
What do you like to do for fun?
Whens the last time you did any of these things?
Whats holding you back?

I officially give you permission to have fun. Be silly and do something just for the
sheer fun of it. Youll feel better about yourself.
Dont let budget issues hold you back from self-care. Its usually a reflection of how
you treat yourself on the inside. I did a programme where I had to do a self-care activity
every day for 30 days and I was shocked how I was treating myself. Some days I would write
down went for a walk under self-care. Does that sound like a luxurious treat?
Does it make you feel special and relaxed when you are at home? Are you
surrounded by beautiful things? Does it support your vision for yourself?
Does your kitchen support your healthy lifestyle? Do you ensure that you have
healthy snacks around, or are your cupboards filled with junk food that will tempt you and
make you feel crappy later? Are there any appliances you no longer use, out of date food in
the cupboard or unhealthy junk food hidden in the freezer get rid of it!
Declutter and let go

Do you watch extreme makeover House Edition? Wouldnt it be great to have
someone come in and start over? Just knock everything down and build you a new house?
Well, you can at least get rid of things that arent serving you. Some people are
hoarders or pack rats, but its extremely healthy to evaluate your possessions and throw
out anything that you dont use or love anymore. Wouldnt it be great if you only kept things
that you absolutely love? Who cares if you have hardly anything left, it gives you a great
place to start and sends a message to the universe that you dont tolerate mediocrity
anymore!
Go through your wardrobe and revaluate. Do your clothes fit with the new vision you
have for yourself? Are you holding on to an outdated memory of yourself? Does anything not
fit anymore after a month of living more healthily? When I dropped a dress size, I was so
determined that I would never be that size again that I gave away all those size 14 clothes
even the ones that I loved. Keeping a tiny cheerleading outfit is fine, if its packed away in
the attic as a keepsake and not staring at you in your wardrobe anymore!
Its ok to change
Lucky Bitch
Give yourself permission to grow and change. Old habits might be starting to feel
strange, and this is the time where old friends who dont serve you anymore dont seem that
appealing to hang around with anymore. Places you used to go dont seem as fun. Foods
that used to tempt you taste bland and make you feel sick.
Theres nothing wrong with growing and evolving past a time in your life. Usually
when there is a dramatic change, like leaving high school, lots of things and people change
all at once. Suddenly you might be feeling really different, but your friends, work and family
are all the same. It doesnt matter, you can be their role model but you also have the
strength to give up the habits that dont fit into your ideal life.
Some people at this point start to realise with all this new found confidence and
energy they could do things they never thought possible. Quit an unfulfilling job, take up a
new hobby, restart an old one or embark on a creative project.
Either way, youre on your way to harnessing your full power and being the luckiest,
healthiest version of yourself. At every stage take it to the next level. Youre not only worth it,
its your destiny. Its time.
Always act like you're wearing an invisible crown.
Author Unknown
Three Lucky Bitches

Ive asked three very special women to share their stories of manifestation so you
can be inspired by their luck and general awesomeness!
Anna Rogers: Founder of Miss Eco Glam

www.MissEcoGlam.com
''I grew up being extremely negative as in one of the most negative people I and
others knew! I did not know how to be positive and saw only bad things happen to me,
blaming it all on other people and the world.
When I read the book 'The Secret' things began to turn around, almost overnight.
I also began to look at others, such as Denise for inspiration. I found her story so
amazing; especially with the travel competition and instead of being sickly jealous, I thought,
'Wow, I could do that too'! And that is how I began to manifest my own long term dream of
becoming a travel writer.
I literally attracted the right people to me, and the right opportunities, keeping my
thoughts positive and quite specific. One good thing led to another, and this year I have
been to Costa Rica on a 5 week all expenses paid trip visiting 10 resorts and retreats. To
say that it was a dream come true is an understatement, I still pinch myself now because
more of it is happening!
I have just been to Greece on a luxury cruise and am about to set off to visit Tahiti
and Thailand too - all in one entire year!
I really pictured myself being there and put up maps around my computer of where I
wanted to go and put screensavers on my computer that had the pictures of the places I
wanted to visit.
Whilst I was waiting for my story idea to be approved from the magazine, I just kept
focusing that it was going to come true, in fact, that it already was.
I have found that my true friends are happy for me, but many people don't comment
on how it all happened and in a way, I can understand why. When so many people are
struggling to find their way, and to create their own reality and dreams coming true, it is like a
kick in the face for them to see people seemingly get things easy.
Lucky Bitch
They are right; it is easy when you know how to create your dream life! I am a lucky
bitch? Yep, I am, and I am proud of it! But I am not some super woman, what I have done
can be done by anyone, I promise you that. I have gone from having a terribly sad life to
having one where I see massive changes happen very quickly, all because I know how to
use my thoughts. Anyone, and I do mean it, can do this if they know how!''
Emma MacDougall, Raw Food Scotland

Emma is the go-to raw food pimp & pusher for sassy superheroes
www.rawfoodscotland.com
Emma, you have such a cool life. Why are you such a lucky bitch?
I didn't used to be. What I've come to realise is that it's absolutely fundamentally
important that you choose the right mind-set. I discovered that when I chose to find one good
thing in every potential 'bad' situation that I started to feel a bit more happy.
The more positive I became about situations the more things just seemed to go my
way. Don't get me wrong, things still happen to test me and push me to what I think I'm
capable of dealing with in any given day but what's happened is that I'm able to accept the
situation much more quickly.
Before I used to try and argue with reality and stay in a negative frame of mind about
how crap something was. Once you 'man up' and say to yourself well, this is how it is and I
know if I look hard enough I'll find a positive in this situation then the universe just doesn't
seem like a bad place anymore. Things just seem to go easier!
So yes, mind-set is imperative! Positive mental attitude will change your life!
You seem to live your life in a really authentic way. How do other people
(family, friends, husband, etc) react to your choices?
A mixture of fear, awe, wonder, frustration and "oh my god, what's she doing now?"
I think that others can see my behaviour as selfish at times. I'm just really good at
figuring out what I want and going for it. And I do it very quickly. This can upset people that
either aren't sure what they want, don't know how to get it or are scared at the prospect of
going after it.
People will generally be supportive when they are comfortable with what they are
doing in their own life or if they know that what you're doing won't affect them. People that
are close to you like parents and husbands have more of a stake in what you're doing and
how it affects them so this can be tricky to negotiate.
I really firmly believe that you get one shot at life and you ought to pursue your
dreams. Sometimes people are happy to come along with you for the ride, sometimes
people aren't. The tricky bit is when you have to decide whether to forego some of the things
you want because you'd rather please someone else.
What's your best manifesting tip?
I'd say that vision boards work really well for me. I've had 5 since I 'discovered' them
2 years ago and everything has come to pass. I don't do the big massive things so much
because I'm more interested in the short-term, what I want for the next 12 months or so.
Keeping it focused on smaller things reaps quicker rewards that builds your manifesting
muscle and gives you confidence to go for bigger.
Also, I've written out my ideal day more times than I can remember. It's changed
since I first started doing it but that's because there's an element of getting what I want and
realising it's not actually making me as happy as I'd thought.
Also, writing a letter to Santa is a good one! Asking specifically for what I want...
Does eating a raw food diet contribute to your superpowers?
I think that it can certainly support it. I'd say that when I've lost myself in less healthy
cooked foods I do feel less focused and able to concentrate or feel. Feeling is so pivotal to
manifesting. If you can't feel the amazingness of what you're attempting to manifest it's much
harder to draw to you. When you're clogged up and feeling heavy and stodgy it doesn't work
as well. This is what I've found for myself.
I have however had some really amazing days without raw food, perhaps because
other aspects of my health were being supported.
Hard work, luck or a combination - what's your take on it?
I think I've worked hard on myself in terms of my self-development and I think that
that is pivotal for pursuing a life worth living. It's also an on-going process. Reading the stuff
is easy but putting it in to practice is more tricky.
Lucky Bitch
You must take action towards whatever it is you want to achieve, that doesn't need to
be hard work. Looking at it as a whole you'll see how far you've come but just taking small
steps each day doesn't feel that difficult to me.
Luck definitely comes when you're in your flow. Getting in to your flow can mean
doing the work on yourself and your physical health. Some days that has seemed very hard!!
And anything else you want to add, about luck or life in general?
I think that so many people seem to believe that it's not possible to get what they
want out of life. We're all set in these limited belief patterns. The biggest thing for me is when
I've said something to myself or someone else, asking whether it's actually true. What I've
found is a lot of my beliefs are things that I've picked up from others. Listen to the ones that
will tell you that it is possible to achieve a life of your dreams because they're actually doing
it. Surround yourself with these people and you'll change your beliefs! Don't listen to
negativity. Stop watching TV and reading negative stories in the press. Like I said, a positive
attitude is what will change your life. It doesn't mean you're not living in the real world, it just
means that you see things a bit differently.
My final wish for you

Life can be so unbelievably awesome when you just realise that YOU, yes YOU are
allowed to create it exactly how you want. You havent missed out and theres plenty of time
for you to decide that life is going to be different.
Im so excited for you!
Many people have asked me why I wear my yes necklace all the time; surely it
doesnt have magical powers? Nope, but I do.
The magic powers are inside you. Thats the Secret.
No one personal development tool or ritual is going to give what you want. Yes, it will
be scary; yes it will be painful some days. No, its going to be perfect. YOU dont need to be
perfect.
You just need to show up and say yes.
Say yes to an awesome, abundance, healthy, wealthy and audaciously lucky life.
You lucky bitch.
www.DeniseDuffieldThomas.com
P.S This is the first version of this book and so isnt as sparkly as I would like to make
it yet. Youll always get the most current version free of charge plus lots of awesome
bonuses goodies. Just go to www.LuckyBitchBook.com/bonus.html
About Denise Duffield-Thomas

Denise is an author, life coach and motivational speaker who helps women (and a
few cool guys) find the courage to create a truly amazing life.
Denise currently lives in Newcastle, Australia with her husband Mark (whos such a
lucky bastard!)

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Lucky Bitch

Denise Duffield-Thomas 2011

Get bonus chapters and audios at www.LuckyBitchBook.com/bonus.html

Your Lucky, Lucky Career .................................................. 47

Lucky in Love .................................................................... 58

Abundantly Lucky .............................................................. 67

Exceptionally good health .................................................. 77

Three Lucky Bitches .......................................................... 88

My final wish for you ......................................................... 92

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The Ultimate Job

Whilst at University, I attended personal development seminars like Tony Robbins

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I set a very specific goal and wrote it on my wall:

6 months travel with Mark

Conferences for free

$3000 a month spending money

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Visualise your success

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The 10 Lucky Bitch Commandments

Start with forgiveness

Holding onto resentment is like drinking poison

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Write it all down.

Get over yourself

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Unfortunately, allowing ourselves to experience pain or put ourselves open to

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If I achieve this goal, Im afraid that;..

To achieve this goal, Ill have to do things Im scared of like;.

Whats the very worst thing that could happen?

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What are you grateful for in your life right now?

What are you grateful about with your health?

What gratitude can you express about your relationships?

What aspects of the past can you now be grateful about?

Treat yourself like a VIP

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Get your boobs on board

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Some people will think you suck, get over it

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Good is good enough

Being a perfectionist employer makes your employees afraid to experiment in

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Create your own karma

Similarly, if youre feeling particularly negative and constantly act in self-destructive

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Luck is an inside game

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Your Lucky, Lucky Career

Lucky people work to their strengths.

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Dancers, Singers and Actors

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Artists, Sculptors and other Creatives

Realize the importance of investing in themselves in terms of time, energy