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The Realm Of Dreaming


By
Ian Beardsley
Copyright 2015 By Ian Beardsley

The logic utilized by our mind in our dreams has a very interesting
quality: It does not add up, but it makes sense in a weird way.
Ian Beardsley
August 14, 2015

Mr. Arrow And The Styrofoam Cup

Grace: Ian, we have the chemical formulas for five compounds. We want to make
from them Styrofoam cups. The fifth formula makes the compounds bind, but they
wont bind. John has been trying to solve the equations in terms of calculus, here
is what he has so far.
Ian: The problem seems to be here: the equations cannot be solved, this term does
not make any sense.
John: I researched it and, that term, means take each book written about the compounds and read them in the following order, except the last book, put it before the
first and turn it upside down.
Grace: Ian, lets go talk to your Geography teacher, Mr. Arrow, he has a way of
figuring things out.
Mr. Arrow: Forget all the math that John is doing, just make the compounds in the
lab, then mix them in different ways to get different things. Take me to the lab.
At the lab Mr. Arrow makes the five compounds, then mixes them in different
ways and gets several different results then says: These compounds will make
many different things. Play with those until you get the Styrofoam cup.
Mr. Arrow: Let me see that equation that doesnt make sense. I see, it doesnt
mean take the last book on these subjects, put it before the others, and turn it upside down. If you do that, it wont be readable and you wont get any information
on how to make the first compound. That term in the equation that doesnt make
any sense says, rather, take the last book and cut it in half.
Mr. Arrow pulls out a machete and in one swift slice, cuts the book in half.
Mr. Arrow: With the book cut in half, we will be guided to the right page to read on
making the fifth compound.

Mr. Arrow takes the fifth book and reads the page provided by slicing the book in
half.
Mr. Arrow: Here is the problem, it says Compound may or may not bind compounds for making Styrofoam.
Ian Beardsley
July 02 2015

Baseball

I was up to bat. The pitcher threw his first pitch and I hit the ball driving it right up
between the pitcher and first base. I was running fast to first base and the fielder
snagged the ball and threw it to second base since he was pointed in that direction.
I land at first base base:
Fielder: You are out.
Me: But you threw the ball to second base.
Fielder: It does not matter what base I throw the ball to as long as it gets there before you get to the base you are running to.
Me: No. In order to out me you have to get the ball to the base I am running to before I get there.
Pitcher: No. That is only if the bases are loaded, then the fielder must throw the
ball to the base you are running so we know which of the runners is outed.
Me: I am leaving this dream, it is too Kafkaesque for me.
Then I woke up.
Ian Beardsley
August 10 2015

Manuel Incorporated



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Manuel Incorporated - Excerpt


Manuel, was not just any man of business. He maintained a business relationship with some off
world, interstellar societies. He was not just a politician, but an exopolitician: He was often an
ambassador for humanity to worlds beyond our solar system, despite humans having never built
a craft that could leave it and go to the stars. He saw no reason why off earth intelligent life
should not be included in his business domain. Gypsies never have known borders since that day
they left India and went west, however, few people have ever known that the space surrounding
the earth was not a border to them either.
Manuel Incorporated was set up in the Alpha Centauri Star System about four point two light
years away. It was there that he negotiated the construction of a sphere, called the Europium
Sphere, in orbit around Alpha Centauri, at Lagrange point, as a source for the element europium,
because it had great value as a phosphorescent substance that can be used as the source of red
and blue in computer screens and fluorescent lights. Those were the colors that this phosphorescent substance would radiate, or glow, in other words.
It must be understood that the Element Europium, is highly reactive: That is, it combines with
anything it comes in contact with. It cannot exist isolated. Therefore, the Europium sphere was
combined with oxygen to make the compound ((Eu_2)(O_3)) that is, the compound Europium
(III) Oxide (Europium Three Oxide).
The answer to the construction of Europia was simple. Consider the Summary written in Volume
One of Cosmic Archaeology:.
The moon is about three times larger than the Europium Sphere, or about pi times larger.
Manuel Incorporated Excerpt
Thus the size of the Europium Sphere in Orbit around Alpha Centauri was 565 kilometers. The
density of Europium Three Oxide is: 7.40 grams per cubic centimeter. The volume of the Europium Sphere in cubic centimeters is:
(4/3)(3.141)(565 km)^3 = 7.55 E 08 cubic kilometers
or (565)(1000)(100) = 5.65E7 cm
(4/3)(3.141)(5.65E7 cm)^3 = 7.55E23 cubic centimeters
That corresponds to:
(7.55E23)(7.4) = 5.587E24 grams of Europium Three Oxide
(5.587E24 g)/(1000) = 5.587E21 kilograms of Europium Three Oxide
5.587E18 metric tons.

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The stuff was made out of common substances from dead worlds, in a process of nuclear chemistry, not yet an available technology on Earth.
The stuff sold for far more than a euro per metric ton in galactic denomination, and Manuel Incorporated was thus worth well more than 18 figures.
Manuel Incorporated In France - Excerpt
Among his on Earth businesses, he had a restaurant in Paris, France on the Rue Di Bazaar that
sold one thing: chocolate truffles. However each truffle was served in the sun on a patio,
wrapped in foil made of gold. You can imagine the prices on the menu, and the clientele
Manuels Intergalactic Cargo Industry - Excerpt
Manuel distributed his Europium Three Oxide throughout the Galaxy by employing Free Traders
throughout the Galaxy who piloted cargo ships. The only currency he accepted was bricks of
pure gold. He then employed Gypsy artisans, many of them family, to pound out the gold into
thin, flat sheets of gold foil that he used to wrap his truffles for his Parisian truffle business. His
earnings went towards funding his research institute, Manuels Genesis Project which did research for turning dead worlds into life supporting paradises inspired by the Project Genesis that
was a theme of a Star Trek movie. He actually sent me a document that was part of the research
produced. It was the following:
Ian Beardsley
February 2013

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Manolo Sanlcar

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I was very curious about how Manolo Sanlcar achieved so much in his music:
I took the diced vegetables and fruits out of the box that held the cassette. This bright green
cilantro, these crisp white onions, these brilliant red tomatoes, all diced with such style, finess,
and beauty. Just look at the curve in that onion. Manolo Sanlcar is such a talented artist. They
are all in the music on this cassette of his music just as they appear in the packing. But, how,
with the tape of the cassette being so thin, and these diced vegetables being so thick, how were
they fit on such a paper thin magnetic strip, to be played and listened to in all their art?
Ian Beardsley
August 16, 2015
Yesterday I went to New Mexico from where live in California, about 1500 miles from there, because upon learning from my father that they took out the lake and put in a highway so that
people no longer have to swim there, it is now only a two hour trip. He suggest we we go there.
And we did. It only took about 5 minutes to get there.
August 17 2015
Executive One: I have an idea: Lets invest in the highest grade pork we can and sell it to the
finest gourmet restaurants in France, then, take the waste, the ears and snout, and make a low
grade sausage that we put on a croissant with eggs and American cheese, then sell it at a price
of using high grade sausage. People wont only love it, they will love it more than if we used
high grade sausage. We will be making big profits because of the small investment. What do
you think?
Executive Two: I like it.
Ian Beardsley
August 27, 2015

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Bob Dylan And The Arrowheads

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A long night waiting outside to photograph a UFO with my iPod. Around midnight I gave up. I
went in my room and put my flashlight and iPod on my bed beside me and went to sleep. There
I was with Bob Dylan, we were both on peddle bicycles, peddling through an abandoned Indian
Reservation. The wood fence posts were old, and dried out, there was no sign that ranching or
farming was going on, or had for a long time. I stopped at the sight of some obsidian arrowheads neatly laid out on the ground. I said Look, arrowheads. Bob Dylan said they were not
authentic. I asked if he thought it would be alright if I took them. He said: I think so, if anyone
asks I will say I said it was alright. I gathered them then we both began to peddle off when
suddenly we found several American Indians on peddle bikes chasing us. Bob Dylan and I
started trying to escape, and Bob Dylan yelled at me: Be like a sphere, curve! As the Indians
came after me I curved around them, I yelled out: Bob Dylan said it would be alright to take the
arrowheads! They answered: No, it isnt! Eventually Bob Dylan was gone, he escaped and I
was captured! I told the American Indians that I was American Indian. My younger brother appeared behind me and said: That makes all the difference. They said, You are? What are
you called? I said those from whom I descended were a long time ago, I dont know our, (I
couldnt think of the word.) Then there was a Latin American who appeared. I said to him, Well
the word in Spanish is apeido; you have plenty of them (In Spain people take on the last name
of their father and mother).
Suddenly I found myself with my feet tied to something like a huge water ski and I was before a
great dam with water rising up 20 feet. Floating on the top of the dammed-up water was an
American Indian on a water ski. He said: In a minute the dam will break and the water will
come gushing down, sweeping you away. As you ride the current, if your ski starts to rise,
and you find yourself flying, you are American Indian. The dam broke and he came down surfing the current with me just behind him. His ski began to rise, then he was flying, then mine
started to rise, and there I was flying just behind him.
Then, as I was sleeping I rolled over in my bed as my eyes began to open and I rolled over on
top of my iPod, which turned it on and it started playing the album by Bob Dylan called Love And
Theft. I heard him singing: I got a long haired woman, shes got real Indian blood.
Ian Beardsley
August 29, 2015

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Churches Competition

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I was informed that there was to be an international competition of Medieval, block-shaped


churches made out of wood, just simple cubes with all faces squares, equal in size. Representatives from The United States government informed me that Mexico offered up one of their Medieval, wood block churches for the U.S. to use in the competition with Spain and they commissioned me to restore the church after showing me a photo of Spains in order to get an idea of
what I was up against. I did an estimate, saying I need this many square feet of lumber, cut to
such and such lengths and so many yards of cloth. After restoring the faces with the deep
brown lumber, I hung the decorative cloth on the the faces of the church walls. Upon inspection
by the overseer, she told me the restoration was fine work, except for my choice of cloth, which
she promptly replaced. Upon seeing the new cloth, I had to agree my choice was, indeed, of
bad taste, and immediately agreed that it was tacky, if not cheesy.
Ian Beardsley
September 10, 2015

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Climate Trends
The analysts looked at the geologic record and core samples and plotted the pattern of the
earths climate over the millennia. It said, if the trend was accurate, that the earth would freeze
over in 2015, not warm, then, in 2023, on September 23rd, the earth would begin to warm to a
point where the earth would become uninhabitable. It would seem when the mathematicians
projected the earths climate trends, they came up with the exact same scenario.
-Dream Last Night
Ian Beardsley
September 11, 2015

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The Paint Job


by
Ian Beardsley (September 17, 2015)

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My older brother was moving up North. He left me not just with his paint sprayer, but a client, an
unfinished job; I was to finish a job for him the next day. I arrived on the site and the man who
trims our trees was already there, spraying the hedges with a paint sprayer, making sure each
leaf was painted evenly. I thought could you imagine what a job it would be if you had to paint
each leaf on these bushes one at a time with a brush.
I found myself driving my brothers old truck to the job, which, he gave me as well to haul the
paint sprayer with.
I was driving the truck to the site when I ran into an old girlfriend. She hopped in the back of the
truck and agreed to be my partner in the job. When we arrived at the site, she said to knock on
the door, and that they wouldnt be home, but that they left the instructions with their children of
what parts of their cars they wanted painted. Apparently, we were to paint not just their hedges,
but their cars as well.
My old girlfriend told me the client had a studio in their basement and that they said we could
use it. After finishing the job, we went down into the studio. My old girlfriend told the people
who were there that I played the guitar. They were all from Russia. There must have been
twenty of them.
They asked me to play something. My old girlfriend told me to get out my guitar and to play
something for them. I got out my guitar and started playing fandangos. They all loved it. After I
finished it, a woman got up on the stage and started singing a traditional Russian folk song. I
found I could accompany it if I played two stanzas of fandangos followed by two stanzas of
sevillanas.
Everyone there joined in with the singing. When we were done, they told me they had never
known anyone that could accompany their kind of songs with a guitar. I attributed the ability to
my knowledge of flamenco. They told me that, in Russia, the kind of songs they were singing
were called seguirillas. I told them that in my music, which comes from Spain, there is a song
called seguirillas as well, but that it was totally different that what they were singing. I found it
interesting that my fandangos combined with sevillanas worked well with their seguirillas.

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The Social
By
Ian Beardsley (November 13, 2015)

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I went to a social dinner with my Dad, my Mom, my two brothers, and their wives. My Sister-inLaw was putting food on the table that she made and brought as we sat down to eat. After eating, we retired to the living room to chat and my Dad had hung himself up on one of the crosses
the hosts made available for those who preferred not to sit. As we were talking a man of the
cloth, and his wife, arrived and they sat on a sofa in one of the rooms adjacent to the living room
and were socializing with people. I said something in the living room and my Dad, from the
cross, said something about what I said about a Gypsy in Spain. I said, No, that wasnt Manolin, that was Miguel. My older brother said, Ah, we havent heard anything about Miguel.
I announced in the room where the man of the cloth was that I was going to get my skateboard
and go skateboarding. I asked where my Dad was, and my Sister In Law said he let himself
down from the cross and left the part early. My Mom said it would be rude to leave the party
and go skateboarding. The man of the cloth interjected that it would be fine. My Mom, where
everyone was talking in the room where the man of the cloth was, said, Antonio doesnt have
any children. I said, Yes he does, he just didnt marry. My Mom answered: Aha, he didnt
marry the woman. The man of the cloth interjected, That is because the women are Jewish
and the Gypsies are Christian. I interjected, No, they dont do marriage because the Gypsies
are from the east and dont believe in marriage, that is a western tradition.

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The Author

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