7/11/2015

A Eulogy for the Long, Intimate Email - The New York Times

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AEulogyfortheLong,IntimateEmail
JULY11,2015

FutureTense
ByTEDDYWAYNE

WhenIstartedcollegein1997,Igotmyfirstemailaccount,asdidmostof
mypeers.Overthenextfouryears,Isentandreceivedcountlessrambling
letterstofriends,bothoffandoncampus,ahabitthatpersistedfora
decadeorsoaftergraduation.
NowIcantrememberthelasttimeIwroteorreadanemailofmore
thanfourorfivemeaty,intimateparagraphs.Icanchalkupsomeofmy
letterwritingdeclinetomyageandprofession:Ihavea(somewhat)
smallerappetitethesedaysforKnausgaardiannavelgazing,andexpend
moreenergywritingforwork.
Mydecreasedrelianceonpersonalemail,however,maycorrespond
withglobaltrends.AccordingtotheRadicatiGroup,atechnology
marketingfirm,businessemailusersnowsendandreceiveanaverageof
122messagesperday,upfrom110in2010.Sealingandopeningallthose
virtualenvelopestakesatoll:A2012reportfromMcKinseyfoundthat
workersspent28percentoftheirdayonemail.
Whilethenumberscannotaccountforhowmanyemailsarepersonal,

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itstandstoreasonthatfewsentonbusinessaccountsareandthatpeople
areoftentooexhaustedfromtherelentlessinundationtocompose
meaningfulletters.
Iveryrarelygetalongemailfromsomeone,saidJohnFreeman,a
literarycriticandtheauthorofthenonfictionbookTheTyrannyofE
Mail.Hecomparedthecurrentera,inwhicheveryoneisoverwhelmed
byhisorherinbox,withhistimeaftercollegeinthelate90s,whenpeople
stilldidwritelongemailsandtherewassomethingexhilarating,hesaid,
abouttheupstartfreetechnologythatenabledconnectivitywithanyone.
Iftherewasagoldenageoftheepistolarypersonalemail,itmostlikely
startedinthisperiodandendedsometimeinthelateaughts.
Electronicmailcantraceitsoriginstoacademicandmilitaryinitiatives
inthe1960s,thoughitdidntenterthemainstreamuntilthemid90s,with
AOLMail(1992),MicrosoftHoTMaiL(itsoriginalstyling,in1996)and
YahooMail(1997).Broadbandaccess,availableonmostcollegecampuses
andinfiltratinghomesaroundthistime,helpedmakeitmorewidespread.
IntheClintonBushyears,emailwasatoolforsubstantivedialogue.
Cellphoneswerentubiquitousuntilthe2000s,andaccordingtoareport
fromNielsen,textmessagesdidntsurpassphonecallsuntil2007.Long
distancecallingremainedexpensive.Socialmediawasnotyetwidelyused.
Paranoiaoverhacked,leakedorsurveilledemailswaslow.Sendingletters
bypostalmailhadbeenanantiquatedpracticeforsometime.And,asthe
Radicatinumbersindicate,workrelatedemailandgraymailnotifications
fromcompanieswerefarlessintensive.
Thenonstopdelugeofprofessionalemailshastrainedustoignore
messagesirrelevanttous(or,often,deletethemwithoutevenreading).
Othereasilydismisseddigitalcommunicationtexts,tweets,Instagrams
havealsodulledourresponseskills.Ifitsfullypermissibletotrashupon
receiptanintraofficeemailfromhumanresources,itseemsfinetoblowoff
afriendscheckin(ortoreplycurtly).Fifteenyearsago,thiswouldhave
beenconsideredrude.Butnow,Mr.Freemansaid,evenpeoplewhodont

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workinfilmknowwhattheL.A.nois:thatsilenceisareply.
Still,manyfeelanxioushackingawaytheweedsoftheiremailfolders.
EmmaAllen,27,estimatedshereceivesaround200workmissivesadayin
herpositionontheeditorialstaffofTheNewYorker.IfIdonthavezero
emailsinbothmypersonalandworkinboxes,Icantsleepatnight,she
said.
Asaprophylaxisagainstinsomnia,Ms.Allencurtailsfriendlyemail
exchanges.Ifyougetintoalongemailgame,youeachwritebackandthen
youowethem,andyoucantdothisslashandburnwithemails,whichI
feellikeIdoalldayandnight,shesaid.Mymothersalwayssendingme
900wordemailswith15logisticalquestions.WhenIopenonefromher,I
haveapanicattack.
TheremaybemoretoMs.Allensresistancethanherdemandingjob
andamaternalexcessperhapsshewassimplyborntoolatetobecome
attachedtoemail.Shefirstgotapersonalaccountinhighschool,butsaid
shehasconsistentlyengagedinlengthyemailswithonlyonefriend.Bythe
timeshearrivedincollege,in2006,textingandsocialmediahadbegunto
conqueremail.
Whensomethinghappenstome,Ivealreadytoldeveryoneover16
differentmodesofcommunication,shesaid.
Yetevenmembersoftheoldergenerationhavecurbedtheirlongemail
output.AmongusAARPers,emailshavegottenmuchshorterbut,if
anything,morenumerous:confirmations,cancellations,etc.,saidDaniel
Menaker,73,awriterandlongtimebookeditorandpublisherwhohasalso
workedonTheNewYorkerseditorialstaff,albeitinanemaillessera
beforeMs.Allenstime.(Basedhowmanypersonalemailsshedeleted
morethan31,000HillaryClintonmayagreewithhisassessmenton
quantity.)
Peopleofmyagetendtousethephone,reflexively,morethan
youngerpeopledo,hecontinued.Itshabit.Mykidswillrespondtoatext

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soonerthananemailandbothofthosemuchsoonerthanaphone
message.
Whenyoungerpeopledocomposeemails,ittendstobeonatiny
keyboard,witherrorproneautocorrect,loweringliterarystandards.Its
notoftenImsittingatmycomputerresponding,Ms.Allensaid.
Insteadofeasingintoadeskchairtowritealongletteratacomputer,
wevegrownaccustomedtotheinstantlygratifying,choppyburstsof
texting(frequentlywhilewalkingordictatingintothephone)andinstant
messaging.
AsNicholasCarrhasarguedinhisbookTheShallows,smartphones
andtheInternethaveharmedourabilitytosustainattention,atheoryMr.
Freemanseconds.
Withthesmartphone,youretogglingbetweensomanyapplications,
Mr.Freemansaid.Ifyoujustbackup30,40yearsandthinkabouta
personatadeskwithatypewriterandaphonethatdoesntringthatoften
andmailthatcomesintwiceaday,therearesomanyformsofdistraction
now.Peoplearebecomingmorereactive,andwithinthatcontext,the
concentrationrequiredtowritealonger,thoughtfulemailisntaround.
Itwaseasierevenattheturnofthe21stcentury,whentheInternetwas
primarilytextbasedaboutthebestaudiovisualentertainmentyoucould
hopeforwasa3Drenderedanimationofadancingbaby.Tabbedbrowsing
didntbecomeafunctionoftheMozillabrowseruntil2002,andofInternet
Exploreronlyin2005.Beforethen,runningmorethanoneapp
simultaneouslyrequiredopeningadditionalwindows,whichareless
disruptivethananarrayofenticingtabsatthetopofthescreen.
Now,hungertohearfromotherscanoftenbesatedbybiteandbyte
sizeportionsofathousanddifferentpetitsfoursfromacquaintancesstatus
updates,ratherthanemailsintimatecandlelitdinnerfortwo.AsMs.Allen
said,Ifyouhavethecuriositytogetthevagueoutlinesofwhatafriendhas
beendoing,youcandoitbyperusingFacebook.

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(AftertheSonyhacklastyear,manypeoplepointedoutthattheirown
emailsnolongercontaindeeplypersonalinformationwhatsmost
incriminatingistheirGooglesearchhistory.)
Thenewestgenerationmaybeevenmoreaversetoemail.Ihavea
nephewinEnglandwhos12,andIaskedforhisemailaddress,andhesaid
hedidnthaveonebutwecouldtalkonViber,Mr.Freemansaid,referring
toanappthatletsusersmakefreephonecallsandsendfreetexts.Hes
completelyleapfroggedoverpassingmessagesbackandforth.Theresa
realshameinthatbecausetherearesomethingsthatcanonlybeexpressed
insomethingreflectiveandlengthy.
Butevenbriefer,oldfashionedcorrespondencewithhisyounger
relativeshasprovedtrying.
Isendpostcardstomynieceandnephew,Mr.Freemansaid.They
neverwriteback.

TeddyWayneistheauthorofthenovelsTheLoveSongof
JonnyValentineandKapitoil.FutureTenseappears
monthly.
AversionofthisarticleappearsinprintonJuly12,2015,onpageST2oftheNationaledition
withtheheadline:TheLongEmailSignsOff.

2015TheNewYorkTimesCompany

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