The Number 1 Problem People Have With Their Boss - Bernard Marr - LinkedIn

4/24/2015
TheNumber1ProblemPeopleHaveWithTheirBoss|BernardMarr|LinkedIn
BernardMarr
BestSellingAuthor,KeynoteSpeakerandLeading
BusinessandDataExpert
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TheNumber1ProblemPeopleHave
WithTheirBoss
Apr22,2015
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AccordingtoastudybytheNationalBusinessResearchInstitute,thenumber1
problempeoplereporthavingwiththeirbossormanagerisalackof
communication.Fromthereport:
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/number1problempeoplehavebossbernardmarr?trk=todpostspost1ptlt
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Ithinkoneofthethingsemployeesdislikethemostisthelackofcontextthattheir
employersprovide,saidHeidiGorman,CMOofCapitalHGroup.BythatImean
manyemployeesdonotgetenoughinformationfromtheiremployerstohave
answerstobasicquestionslike,Whatsreallyexpectedofme?,Howwillmy
performancebejudged?andHowdoeswhatIdo,dayinanddayout,helpthe
overallcompanyachieveitsgoals?Itisimportantforallemployees,regardlessof
whattheydo,tohavetheseessentialquestionsansweredbecauseitgivesasense
ofmeaningtotheirwork.
Onereasonthatcommunicationproblemsaresorampantisbecausetheyare
ongoing,asopposedtosingleevents.Whencommunicationfails,employeestend
todrawbackandbecomeafraidtoaskquestionsorspeakupwhentheyforeseea
problem.
Inshort,ifyouwantopencommunicationfromyouremployeeswhenitmatters,you
needtomodelthebehavioryourself.Hereareafewsuggestionstogetstarted:
1. Shareyourknowledge.
Whetheritsaboutachangethecompanyismakingoraclientyouveworked
withbefore,beproactiveaboutsharinginformationwithyourteam.Most
employeesaremuchbetterabletorollwiththepuncheswhenthey
understandthereasoningbehindwhatshappening.
2. Engageinsmalltalk.
Youmaythinksmalltalkiscounterproductiveatwork,butemployeesare
morelikelytotrustyouiftheyfeelliketheyknowyou.Inquiringabouttheir
families,hobbies,orinterestsinagenuinewayisagoodwaytofostertrust
andmoreopencommunication.
3. Listenmoretalkless.
Therearetwomajorcomponentsofeffectivecommunicationandoneofthem
islisteningyetitsoftenoverlookedasamanagementskill.Tryactive
listeningwhereyouparaphraseandrepeatbackwhattheotherpersonhas
justsaid.Itnotonlygivesthemtheopportunitytoclarifyifyouve
misunderstoodsomething,butitalsoforcesyoutolistentothem,insteadof
thinkingabouthowyouplantorespond.
4. Thinkaboutcommunicationspreferences.
Youprobablyalreadyknowthatsomeofusarevisuallearnersandsome
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auditorylearners,butthatextendswelloutsidetheclassroom.Some
employeeswilldojustfinetalkingaboutcomplexissues,whileotherswill
prefertohavetheconversationoutlinedinwriting.Ifyoucandiscovereach
employeespreference,youcanensureyourereachingoutinawaytheyll
understand.
5. Keepfeedbackconstructive.
Ifemployeesfeelconstantlyunderattackorcriticism,theymaybereluctantto
openthelinesofcommunicationforanyreason.Practiceofferingconstructive
feedbackpairedwithpraise,andalwaysremembertoonlycriticisetheact,
nevertheperson.
Onefinalbonustip:neverstoppracticing.Youmaythinkyoureastellar
communicatoruntilfacedwithanemployeewhosecommunicationstyleis
completelydifferentfromyourown,oryoufindyourselfinastressfulsituation.
Keepseekingoutwaystolearn,practice,andimproveyourcommunicationsskills
tobeoneoftheworkforcesbelovedbosses,ratherthanoneofthedreadedones.
Whatareyourbesttipsforimprovingcommunicationsskills?Idloveforyouto
sharetheminthecommentsbelow.
Thankyouforreadingmypost.Iregularlywriteaboutmanagement,technology
aswellasthemegatrendthatisBigDataforLinkedInandForbes.Ifyouwouldlike
toreadmyregularpoststhenpleaseclick'Follow'andfeelfreetoalsoconnect
viaTwitter,FacebookandTheAdvancedPerformanceInstitute.
HerearesomeotherrecentpostsIhavewritten:
CareerChoicesYouWillRegretIn20Years
TheOneThingSuccessfulPeopleNeverDo
7BillionairesThatMadeTheirFortunesFromBigData
The25KPIsEveryManagerNeedstoKnow
HowNOTtoIntroduceYourself
10SentencesGoodManagersNEVERSayEVER
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PeopleHaveWithTheir
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Youcanreadafreesamplechapterhere.

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Goodarticle!Amustreadforthoseinmanagementpositions.
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JeffHaden
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toBeMoreConfident,andThisIsIt
Apr23,2015
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Confidenceisnotsomethingyoueitherhaveoryoudon't.
Takeme.StickmeonabicycleatalocalgrouprideandI'mconfident.I'mself
assured.IfeellikeIbelong(which,ifyouthinkaboutit,isanicedefinitionof
confidence.)
Butstickmeonabicycleatagranfondosurroundedbythefastguysandsuddenly
everythingchanges.I'minstantlyshyandinsecure.Ifeellikeaverysmallfishway
outofhiswater.
Unfortunatelyformeandmaybeforyouconfidenceismuchmoresituational
thanabsolute.Insomesettingwe'reselfassuredinothers,notsomuch.
That'sprobablynatural...andthat'sprobablywhymanytipsforhowtofeel
confidentoftenfallshort.Muchofthatadvicecanbeboileddownto,"Youcanbe
confidentallyouhavetodoisdecidetobeconfident."
Evidentlyit'seasy:suppressnegativethoughtsandrepeatsomereallycoolself
affirmingstatementsandvoila!I'mlikeDonaldTrump.
Ornot.
ABetterWaytoThinkAboutConfidence
AccordingtoDr.TomasChamorroPremuzic,aprofessorofbusinesspsychologyat
UniversityCollegeLondonandauthoroftheoutstandingbookConfidence:
OvercomingLowSelfEsteem,Insecurity,andDoubt,thereisanotherwaytolook
atsupposedlyconfidencebuildingselftalk:
Forexample,ifyouarefeelingworthlessandtrytosuppressthosefeelings,youwill
neverbeabletodowhatittakestoimprove.If,ontheotherhand,youcometo
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termswithyournegativeselfviewsandacceptthefactthatyouarenotasgoodas
youwouldliketobeand,especially,thatyouareunhappywithyourself,youwillbe
abletofocusonwhatyouneedtodotoimprove.
Dissatisfactionisthemotherofchange,andonlychangecandriveimprovement.
Thechoicebetweenthetwooptionsisanobrainer.Deliberateattemptstoincrease
yourconfidenceareboundtoresultinfailureanddemoralizeyou,whereas
attemptstoimproveyourperformancecanresultinnotjustcompetencegainsbut
alsoagenuineboosttoyourconfidence.Theanswertothequestion,"Whatshould
Idoaboutmylowconfidence?"canhardlybesimpler:
Embraceit.
Thinkaboutit.Lackofconfidenceisn'ttheproblemlackofconfidenceisactually
themeanstoasolution.Whenyouactuallyacceptyourweakpoints,yourflaws,
andyourimperfections,thenyoucanmotivateyourselftomakechangesand
improve.
Inshort,hidefromyourweaknessesandyou'llalwaysbeweak.Acceptyour
weaknessesandthenworktoimprovethemandyou'lleventuallybestrongerand
moreconfident.
Sowhatistheonlyrecipeforfeelingmoreconfident?
Success.
Improvementbreedsconfidence.Competencebreedsconfidence.Successin
yourfield,orsometimesinanypursuitbreedsconfidence.
Takemeagain.YearsagoIwasinvitedtospeaktoanaudienceofarounda
thousandpeople.Awesome,right?Well,maybenot.Ihadneverspokentoan
audiencelargerthanabout150peoplebefore.PlusIwasaskedtospeakonatopic
Ididn'tknowthatmuchabout.
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Evenso,theopportunitywastoogoodtopassup...
...andIbombed.
Badly.
Oh,everyonetoldmeIdidfine.(Toaspeaker,beingtoldyouwere"fine"islikea
teenagerbeingtoldyouhaveagoodpersonality.)Iwantedtobelievethem.I
wantedtoignoremyfeelingsofincompetence,disappointment,andfailure.
AndthenIrealizedIwouldnevergetbetterifIdidn't1)acceptthefactIhadfailed
and2)workhardtoimprove.SoIwentbacktothedrawingboard.Iwrangled
invitationstolocalcivicgroups.Ispoketostudentsatlocalcolleges.Iforcedmyself
tospeakontopicsoutsidemywheelhousesoIcouldlearnthemechanicsof
craftingagreathookandagreatstory.SometimesIdidwell,sometimesIdidbadly
butovertimeIgainedskillandcompetence.
Andconfidence.
AmIstillnervousbeforeIstepoutinfrontofbigcrowds?Ohhellyeah.I'mahot
messofinsecurity.ButIcanworkthroughthosefeelingsnotbecauseIengagein
alotofhappyhorse(manure)selftalkbutbecauseIknowI'vebeenthere,done
that,andcandoitagain.
I'mconfident,becauseIhavesuccessinmypocket.
YetI'malsoinsecureenoughtoalwayswanttogetbetter.
EvenUnrelatedSuccessHelps
Oddlyenough,successinonepursuityieldsgreaterconfidenceinotherareasof
life.
Backtomybicycleexample:ThefirstmajorgranfondoIrodewas100mileslong
andincludedover11,000feetofclimbingoverfourmountains(twoofthoseclimbs
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ondirt/gravelroads.)Itwaslong.Itwasendless.Itwasphysically(andwillpowery)
harderthananythingIhadeverdone.ButIfinishedit.
AndevenweeksafterwardIgenerallyfeltmoreconfident.Iworriedlessaboutwhat
peoplethoughtofme.Ihaddonesomethinghuge,atleastformeanditliftedme
foralongtime.
That'sbecausewhileconfidencemaybesituational,somedegreeofconfidence
canalsospillover.Whenyoufeelgoodaboutyourselfinonewaywhenyou
achievesomedegreeofsuccessinoneaspectofyourlifeyoutendtofeelbetter
aboutotherpartsofyourlifeaswell.Afterall,ifyoucandoonethingwell,youcan
dolotsofthingswell.
Allyouhavetodoisworkatit.
HowtoBeMoreCompetentandThereforeMoreConfident
Soforgettheselftalkandpsychoanalysis.It'sallaboutaction.Here'sTomasagain:
Mostpeopleliketheideaofbeingexceptional,butnotenoughtodowhatittakesto
getthere...everybodysaystheywanttobeslim,healthy,attractive,andrich,but
fewpeoplearewillingtodowhatittakestoattainthosethings,whichsuggeststhey
don'treallywantthosethingsasmuchastheysayorthink.
PaulArden,formercreativedirectorofSaatchi&Saatchi,sumsthisupnicelyby
explainingthattypicallywhenwesaywe"want"something,weactuallyjustmean
wewanttohaveit,butwithnoimplicitassumptionthatwe'rewillingtodoanywork
togetthere.Inreality,wantingsomethingshouldequatewithbeingpreparedto
takethenecessarystepstoachieveit.Ifyouareseriousaboutyourgoals,thenyou
willdowhateverittakestoattainthemyourconfidenceissecondary.
Whatmattersisthedesireyouhavetoattempttoachieveyourgoals.
Sodon'tsayyoulackconfidence.Allofuslackconfidence.Allofushave
insecurities,doubts,fears...allofus.
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Justpickagoal,agoalyoutrulywanttoachieve,andtakeacleareyedlookat
yourweaknessesnotsoyou'llfeellessconfident,butsoyoucandetermine
exactlywhatyouneedtoworkon.
Thengettowork.Celebratesmallsuccesses.Analyzeyourweaknesses.Keep
going.
Asyougainskillyou'llalsogainafeelingofgenuineconfidence,onethatcannever
betakenawaybecauseyou'veearnedit.
IalsowriteforInc.com:
10OrdinaryBeliefsofExtraordinarilySuccessfulPeople
HowtoBeMoreCharismatic:10Tips
10BodyLanguageSecretsofHighlySuccessfulPeople
9EssentialHabitsofExtremelyEffectivePeople
7ThingsRemarkablyHappyPeopleDoMoreOften
Checkoutmybookofpersonaland
professionaladvice,TransForm:
DramaticallyImproveYourCareer,
Business,Relationships,andLifeOne
SimpleStepAtaTime.(PDFversion
here,Kindleversionhere,Nookversion
here.)
Ifafter10minutesyoudon'tfindatleast5
thingsyoucandotomakeyourlifebetterI'll
refundyourmoney.
Thatwayyouhavenothingtolose...and
everythingtogain.
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