Barriers to Effective Listening

It is common, when listening to someone else speak, to be formulating a reply whilst the
other person is still talking. However, this means that we are not really listening to all that
is being said.
Even good listeners are often guilty of critically evaluating what is being said before fully
understanding the message that the speaker is trying to communicate. The result is that
assumptions are made and conclusions reached about the speaker's meaning, that might be
inaccurate. This and other types of ineffective listening lead to misunderstandings and a
breakdown in communication.
Even if we are not formulating a response whilst listening, we may still be thinking of other
things, albeit subconsciously. During a conversation, how often have thoughts such as
"What am I going to have for my dinner", "Will I have time to finish that report?" or "I
hope I am not late picking the kids up" crossed your mind? At such times, we are distracted
and not giving our full attention to what is being said. In other words we are not actively
listening to the speaker.
We can easily pick up bad habits when it comes to listening - this page examines some of
the barriers and bad habits of listening - enabling you to address and correct
them. Listening is a key interpersonal skill and a prerequisite to many other
communication skills by learning to listen more effectively you can improve the quality
of your professional and personal life.

Common Barriers to Listening

There are many things that get in the way of listening and you should be aware of these
barriers, many of which are bad habits, in order to become a more effective
listener. Barriers and bad habits to effective listening can include:

Trying to listen to more than one conversation at a time, this includes having the
television or radio on while attempting to listen to somebody talk; being on the
phone to one person and talking to another person in the same room and also being
distracted by some dominant noise in the immediate environment.
You find the communicator attractive/unattractive and you pay more attention
to how you feel about the communicator and their physical appearance than to what
they are saying. Perhaps you simply don't like the speaker - you may mentally argue
with the speaker and be fast to criticise, either verbally or in your head.
You are not interested in the topic/issue being discussed and become bored.
Not focusing and being easily distracted, fiddling with your hair, fingers, a pen etc.
or gazing out of the window or focusing on objects other than the speaker.
Feeling unwell or tired, hungry, thirsty or needing to use the toilet.

Identifying rather than empathising - understanding what you are hearing but not
putting yourself in the shoes of the speaker. As most of us have a lot of internal selfdialogue we spend a lot of time listening to our own thoughts and feelings - it can
be difficult to switch the focus from 'I' or 'me' to 'them' or 'you'. Effective listening
involves opening your mind to the views of others and attempting to feel
empathetic. (See our page: What is Empathy? for more information)
Sympathising rather than empathising - sympathy is not the same as empathy,
you sympathise when you feel sorry for the experiences of another, to empathise is
to put yourself in the position of the other person.
You are prejudiced or biased by race, gender, age, religion, accent, and/or past
experiences.
You have preconceived ideas or bias - effective listening includes being openminded to the ideas and opinions of others, this does not mean you have to agree but
should listen and attempt to understand.
You make judgements, thinking, for example that a person is not very bright or is
under-qualified so there is no point listening to what they have to say.
Previous experiences we are all influenced by previous experiences in life. We
respond to people based on personal appearances, how initial introductions or
welcomes were received and/or previous interpersonal encounters. If we stereotype
a person we become less objective and therefore less likely to listen effectively.
Preoccupation - when we have a lot on our minds we can fail to listen to what is
being said as we're too busy concentrating on what we're thinking about. This is
particularly true when we feel stressed or worried about issues.
Having a Closed Mind - we all have ideals and values that we believe to be correct
and it can be difficult to listen to the views of others that contradict our own
opinions. The key to effective listening and interpersonal skills more generally is
the ability to have a truly open mind - to understand why others think about things
differently to you and use this information to gain a better understanding of the
speaker.

Non-Verbal Signs of Ineffective Listening

Although with all non-verbal signals a certain amount of error has to be
expected, generally signs of inattention while listening include:

Lack of eye contact with the speaker listeners who are engaged with the speaker
tend to give eye contact. Lack of eye contact can, however, also be a sign of
shyness.
An inappropriate posture - slouched, leaning back or swinging on a chair,
leaning forward onto a desk or table and/or a constantly shifting posture. People
who are paying attention tend to lean slightly towards the speaker.
Being distracted - fidgeting, doodling, looking at a watch, yawning.
Inappropriate expressions and lack of head nods - often when a listener is
engaged with a speaker they nod their head, this is usually an almost subconscious
way of encouraging the speaker and showing attention. Lack of head nods can

mean the opposite listening is not happening. The same can be true of facial
expressions, attentive listeners use smiles as feedback mechanisms and to show
attention.

Further Signs of Ineffective Listening

Other common traits of ineffective listening include:

Sudden Changes in Topic: When the listener is distracted they may suddenly think
about something else that is not related to the topic of the speaker and attempt to
change the conversation to their new topic.
Selective Listening: This occurs when the listener thinks they have heard the main
points or have got the gist of what the speaker wants to say. They filter out what
they perceive as being of key importance and then stop listening or become
distracted. (See also: Types of Listening)
Daydreaming: Daydreaming can occur when the listener hears something that sets
off a chain of unrelated thoughts in their head they become distracted by their
own world and adopt a far-away look.
Advising: Some people want to jump in early in a conversation and start to offer
advice before they fully understand the problem or concerns of the speaker.

Ineffective Listening is Very Common:

You can probably think of examples when you have listened ineffectively or not been
listened to over the last 24 hours. You can probably recognise the frustration and irritation
when you know the person you are talking to is not listening to you. As listening is so
fundamental to the communication processes it is important to try to avoid ineffective
listening.

Find more at: http://www.skillsyouneed.com/ips/ineffectivelistening.html#ixzz3edm2YfYc

Why your students have problems with listening

comprehension
Summary: A look at why learners may find listening difficult
Modern textbooks are awfully clever in the way they slip seamlessly from an interesting
listening text into explanation and practice of a grammar point. It is hard to see how such a
system could possibly be worse that just launching into a grammar point- until, that is, your
students have listened three times and still haven't understood enough to answer the first
question, let alone move onto the final language point. You can only imagine that none of
the teachers who reviewed the textbook before publication had that problem, and indeed
listening comprehension skills vary a lot from country to country and from person to
person. The reasons why some people find listening in a foreign language difficult vary just
as much, so eleven possible reasons why it might be so are given below, along with some
ideas on how to tackle each point.
Why some students find listening difficult
1.

They are trying to understand every word

Despite the fact that we can cope with missing whole chunks of speech having a
conversation on a noisy street in our own language, many people don't seem to be able to
transfer that skill easily to a second language. One method of tackling this is to show them
how to identify the important words that they need to listen out for. In English this is shown
in an easy-to-spot way by which words in the sentence are stressed (spoken louder and
longer). Another is to give them one very easy task that you know they can do even if they
don't get 90% of what is being said to build up their confidence, such as identifying the
name of a famous person or spotting something that is mentioned many times.
2.

They get left behind trying to work out what a previous word meant

This is one aspect of the problem above that all people speaking a foreign language have
experienced at one time or another. This often happens when you hear a word you half
remember and find you have completely lost the thread of what was being said by the time
you remember what it means, but can also happen with words you are trying to work out
that sound similar to something in your language, words you are trying to work out from
the context or words you have heard many times before and are trying to guess the meaning
of once and for all. In individual listenings you can cut down on this problem with vocab
pre-teach and by getting students to talk about the same topic first to bring the relevant
vocabulary for that topic area nearer the front of their brain. You could also use a listening
that is in shorter segments or use the pause button to give their brains a chance to catch up,
but teaching them the skill of coping with the multiple demands of listening and working
out what words mean is not so easy. One training method is to use a listening or two to get
them to concentrate just on guessing words from context. Another is to load up the tasks
even more by adding a logic puzzle or listening and writing task, so that just listening and

trying to remember words seems like an easier option. Finally, spend a lot of time revising
vocabulary and doing skills work where they come into contact with it and use it, and show
students how to do the same in their own time, so that the amount of half remembered
vocab is much less.
3.

They just don't know the most important words

Again, doing vocabulary pre-teaching before each listening as a short term solution and
working on the skill of guessing vocab from context can help, but please make sure that
you practice this with words that can actually be guessed from context (a weakness of many
textbooks) and that you work on that with reading texts for a while to build up to the much
more difficult skill of guessing vocab and listening at the same time. The other solution is
simply to build up their vocabulary and teach them how they can do the same in their own
time with vocabulary lists, graded readers, monolingual dictionary use etc.
4.

They don't recognise the words that they know

If you have a well-graded textbook for your class, this is probably a more common (and
more tragic) problem than not knowing the vocabulary at all. Apart from just being too
busy thinking about other things and missing a word, common reasons why students might
not recognise a word include not distinguishing between different sounds in English (e.g. /l/
and /r/ in "led" and "red" for many Asians), or conversely trying to listen for differences
that do not exist, e.g. not knowing words like "there", "their" and "they're" are homophones.
Other reasons are problems with word stress, sentence stress, and sound changes when
words are spoken together in natural speech such as weak forms. What all this boils down
to is that sometimes pronunciation work is the most important part of listening
comprehension skills building.
5.

They have problems with different accents

In a modern textbook, students have to not only deal with a variety of British, American
and Australian accents, but might also have Indian or French thrown in. Whilst this is
theoretically useful if or when they get a job in a multinational company, it might not be the
additional challenge they need right now- especially if they studied exclusively American
English at school. Possibilities for making a particular listening with a tricky accent easier
include rerecording it with some other teachers before class, reading all or part of the
tapescript out in your (hopefully more familiar and therefore easier) accent, and giving
them a listening task where the written questions help out like gap fills. If it is an accent
they particularly need to understand, e.g., if they are sorting out the outsourcing to India,
you could actually spend part of a lesson on the characteristics of that accent. In order to
build up their ability to deal with different accents in the longer term, the best way is just to
get them listening to a lot of English, e.g. TV without dubbing or BBC World Service
Radio. You might also want to think about concentrating your pronunciation work on
sounds that they need to understand many different accents rather than one, and on
concentrating on listenings with accents that are relevant for that particular group of
students, e.g. the nationality of their head office.

6.

They lack listening stamina/ they get tired

This is again one that anyone who has lived in a foreign country knows well- you are doing
fine with the conversation or movie until your brain seems to reach saturation point and
from then on nothing goes in until you escape to the toilet for 10 minutes. The first thing
you'll need to bear in mind is to build up the length of the texts you use (or the lengths
between pauses) over the course in exactly the same way as you build up the difficulty of
the texts and tasks. You can make the first time they listen to a longer text a success and
therefore a confidence booster by doing it in a part of the lesson and part of the day when
they are most alert, by not overloading their brains with new language beforehand, and by
giving them a break or easy activity before they start. You can build up their stamina by
also making the speaking tasks longer and longer during the term, and they can practice the
same thing outside class by watching an English movie with subtitles and taking the
subtitles off for longer and longer periods each time.
7.

They have a mental block

This could be not just a case of a student having struggled with badly graded listening texts
in school, exams or self-study materials, but even of a whole national myth that people
from their country find listening to English difficult. Whatever the reason, before you can
build up their skills they need their confidence back. The easiest solution is just to use
much easier texts, perhaps using them mainly as a prompt to discussion or grammar
presentations to stop them feeling patronized. You can disguise other easy listening
comprehension tasks as pronunciation work on linked speech etc. in the same way.
8.

They are distracted by background noise

Being able to cope with background noise is another skill that does not easily transfer from
L1 and builds up along with students' listening and general language skills. As well as
making sure the tape doesn't have lots of hiss or worse (e.g. by recording tape to tape at
normal speed not double speed, by using the original or by adjusting the bass and treble)
and choosing a recording with no street noise etc, you also need to cut down on noise inside
and outside the classroom. Plan listenings for when you know it will be quiet outside, e.g.
not at lunchtime or when the class next door is also doing a listening. Cut down on noise
inside the classroom by doing the first task with books closed and pens down. Boost their
confidence by letting them do the same listening on headphones and showing them how
much easier it is. Finally, when they start to get used to it, give them an additional
challenge by using a recording with background noise such as a cocktail party conversation.
9.

They can't cope with not having images

Young people nowadays, they just can't cope without multimedia! Although having
students who are not used to listening to the radio in their own language can't help, most
students find not having body language and other cues to help a particular difficulty in a
foreign language. Setting the scene with some photos of the people speaking can help,
especially tasks where they put the pictures in order as they listen, and using video instead

makes a nice change and is a good way of making skills such as guessing vocab from
context easier and more natural.
10. They have hearing problems
As well as people such as older students who have general difficulty in hearing and need to
be sat close to the cassette, you might also have students who have problems hearing
particular frequencies or who have particular problems with background noise. As well as
playing around with the graphic equaliser and doing the other tips above for background
noise, you could also try setting most listening tasks as homework and/ or letting one or
more students read from the tapescript as they listen.
11. They can't tell the difference between the different voices
This was the problem that took me longest to twig, but voices that are clearly distinct to a
native speaker can be completely confusing for a non-native speaker. I haven't quite
worked out why those problems occur on some occasions and not on others, but the native
speaker could be identifying a lisp, an accent or a difference in range of tone that escapes a
student. You can avoid these problems by using texts with one woman and one man, or you
can practice them with tasks where the students only have to count how many times the
speaker changes.
Copyright 2008 Alex Case Written by Alex Case for UsingEnglish.com
http://www.usingenglish.com/articles/why-your-students-have-problems-with-listeningcomprehension.html

Listening Skills
Listening is the ability to accurately receive and interpret messages in the communication
process.
Listening is key to all effective communication, without the ability to listen effectively
messages are easily misunderstood communication breaks down and the sender of the
message can easily become frustrated or irritated.
If there is one communication skill you should aim to master then listening is it.
Listening is so important that many top employers provide listening skills training for their
employees. This is not surprising when you consider that good listening skills can lead to:
better customer satisfaction, greater productivity with fewer mistakes, increased sharing of
information that in turn can lead to more creative and innovative work.

Many successful leaders and entrepreneurs credit their success to effective listening
skills. Richard Branson frequently quotes listening as one of the main factors behind the
success of Virgin.
Effective listening is a skill that underpins all positive human relationships, spend some
time thinking about and developing your listening skills they are the building blocks of
success.
Good listening skills also have benefits in our personal lives, including:
A greater number of friends and social networks, improved self-esteem and confidence,
higher grades at school and in academic work and even better health and general wellbeing.
Studies have shown that, whereas speaking raises blood pressure, attentive listening can
bring it down.

Listening is Not the Same as Hearing

Hearing refers to the sounds that you hear, whereas listening requires more than that: it
requires focus. Listening means paying attention not only to the story, but how it is told,
the use of language and voice, and how the other person uses his or her body. In other
words, it means being aware of both verbal and non-verbal messages. Your ability to listen
effectively depends on the degree to which you perceive and understand these messages.

The most basic and powerful way to connect to another person is to listen. Just
listen. Perhaps the most important thing we ever give each other is our attention.
Rachel Naomi Remen

We Spend a lot of Time Listening

Adults spend an average of 70% of their time engaged in some sort of communication, of
this an average of 45% is spent listening compared to 30% speaking, 16% reading and 9%
writing. (Adler, R. et al. 2001).

Based on the research of: Adler, R., Rosenfeld, L. and Proctor, R. (2001)
Interplay: the process of interpersonal communicating (8th edn), Fort Worth, TX: Harcourt.

Effective listening requires concentration and the use of your other senses - not just
hearing the words spoken.
Listening is not the same as hearing and in order to listen effectively you need to
use more than just your ears.

The 10 Principles of Listening

A good listener will listen not only to what is being said, but also to what is left unsaid or
only partially said.
Effective listening involves observing body language and noticing inconsistencies between
verbal and non-verbal messages.
For example, if someone tells you that they are happy with their life but through gritted
teeth or with tears filling their eyes, you should consider that the verbal and non-verbal
messages are in conflict, they maybe don't mean what they say.
01 Stop Talking
If we were supposed to talk more than we listen, we would have two tongues and one ear.
Mark Twain.
Don't talk, listen. When somebody else is talking listen to what they are saying, do not
interrupt, talk over them or finish their sentences for them. Stop, just listen. When the
other person has finished talking you may need to clarify to ensure you have received their
message accurately.

02 Prepare Yourself to Listen

Relax. Focus on the speaker. Put other things out of mind. The human mind is easily
distracted by other thoughts whats for lunch, what time do I need to leave to catch my
train, is it going to rain try to put other thoughts out of mind and concentrate on the
messages that are being communicated.
03 Put the Speaker at Ease
Help the speaker to feel free to speak.
Remember their needs and concerns. Nod or use other gestures or words to encourage them
to continue. Maintain eye contact but dont stare show you are listening and
understanding what is being said.
04 Remove Distractions
Focus on what is being said. Dont doodle, shuffle papers, look out the window, pick your
fingernails or similar. Avoid unnecessary interruptions. These behaviours disrupt the
listening process and send messages to the speaker that you are bored or distracted.
05 Empathise
Try to understand the other persons point of view.
Look at issues from their perspective. Let go of preconceived ideas. By having an open
mind we can more fully empathise with the speaker. If the speaker says something that you
disagree with then wait and construct an argument to counter what is said but keep an open
mind to the views and opinions of others.
06 Be Patient
A pause, even a long pause, does not necessarily mean that the speaker has finished.
Be patient and let the speaker continue in their own time, sometimes it takes time to
formulate what to say and how to say it. Never interrupt or finish a sentence for someone.
07 Avoid Personal Prejudice
Try to be impartial.
Don't become irritated and don't let the persons habits or mannerisms distract you from
what the speaker is really saying. Everybody has a different way of speaking - some people
are for example more nervous or shy than others, some have regional accents or make
excessive arm movements, some people like to pace whilst talking - others like to sit
still. Focus on what is being said and try to ignore styles of delivery.
08 Listen to the Tone

Volume and tone both add to what someone is saying.

A good speaker will use both volume and tone to their advantage to keep an audience
attentive; everybody will use pitch, tone and volume of voice in certain situations let
these help you to understand the emphasis of what is being said.
09 Listen for Ideas Not Just Words
You need to get the whole picture, not just isolated bits and pieces.
Maybe one of the most difficult aspects of listening is the ability to link together pieces of
information to reveal the ideas of others. With proper concentration, letting go of
distractions, and focus this becomes easier.
10 Wait and Watch for Non-Verbal Communication
Gestures, facial expressions, and eye-movements can all be important.
We dont just listen with our ears but also with our eyes watch and pick up the additional
information being transmitted via non-verbal communication.
Find more at: http://www.skillsyouneed.com/ips/listening-skills.html#ixzz3ednbkKBA

Listening
Good listening is important. Whether you are a student, wife or a parent, how you listen
will determine if you get the message that a speaker intended for you. Good listening is a
skill. These three roles all require the three basics steps of a good listener. Hearing.
Hearing means listening enough to catch what the speaker is saying. Understanding.
Understanding happens when you take what you have heard and understand it in your own
way or words. Judging. Judging is understanding what the speaker has said, think whether
it makes sense. No matter what role I am in I value to listen the same. Sometimes each role
maybe more challenging for me to be a good listener, but I know that I have a duty to
fulfill. That is why my role as a student, wife and parent are important in my life. Listening
can be difficult or challenging no matter who or what situation you may encounter.
Pretending Attention, Yield to Distraction and Pencil and Paper Listening is some of my
difficult listening skill. Pretending Attention is where I seem like I am listening, but in all
reality I sometimes am off in another world. Yield to Attention is doing something that
distracts me from listening. I often am in that state when I am a wife and parent. It just
seems like when I am with my child or husband I am sometimes distracted with everyday
house hold chores. This bad listening skill sometimes causes arguments between me and
the speaker. Things like, you are not paying attention, why cant you just stop what you are
doing for five minutes and listen to me or my child gets to the point where she feels she has
to go to someone else for an answer. I would say that has a big effect on my family
relationship. Pretending Attention and Pencil and Paper Listening is when I appear to be
listening, but am off in another world sometimes. I also try to write down everything the
speaker says but I am not understanding what they are actually saying...

What makes a good listener: A brief essay about listening as a way of

helping
Posted by Manu Rodrguez in Blog on 1 enero, 2013 with no comments
In social conversations (at parties, at work, in group meetings; with friends, family and
relatives) we talk and listen, discuss and tell our opinion. Then we share points of views
and concerns that are relevant for the participants. In a helping conversation the act of
communication must change and active listening is what matters. Then the other is the
one to listen to with in-depth and full understanding. This active listening should involve
not only understanding of the verbal speakers message (its content) but also the vocal cues
and body language (its context), so we experience him/her as if the experiences were our
own.
In any relationship, we have to bear in mind the situation and interests that both parties
have in the act of communication: the speaker and the listener/s. A talk between a teacher
and his/her students is not the same as the conversation between father and son or mother
and daughter, the chat between two close friends is not the same as the one between people
who have just met at a party; its not the same conversation between a girl and a boy who
have just met than that between boyfriend and girlfriend or even wife and husband, and so
on What makes the difference? In my modest opinion it is basically the interest that
moves these two parties to the act of communication. If the interest of one of the parties is
to help the other, individual or group, then we are talking about a helping relationship. To
put it in another way, a helping relationship might be defined as one in which one of the
participants intends that there should come about, in one or both parties, more appreciation
of, more expression of, more functional use of the latent inner resources of the individual.
Carl R. Rogers (1961) On becoming a person pg 40- Constable & Robinson Ltd. London
Therefore, if we want to have a relationship of ANY kind in which we intend to help, the
listening part of it must have these characteristics:
Congruence. By this I mean that whatever feeling or attitude I am experiencing would be
matched by my awareness of that attitude. (C. Rogers 1961: 51) Which we can rephrase as
being oneself, being aware of oneself and allowing oneself to show through to the other
participants.
Unconditional positive regard. Which basically means to maintain a positive attitude
towards the other person: an attitude of warmth, caring, interest and respect.
We should keep a warm and safe relationship in which we respect the feelings and
emotions of the person we want to help, but at the same time being always ourselves,
knowing and understanding that we are a separate and different person, with our own
experiences and attitudes toward life, personal feelings and emotions, and yet keeping this
warmth and caring spirit, with no fears of being taken over by his/her own feelings and
emotions. And then, we also must permit him/her to be himself/herself in a nonjudgmental, free and safe relationship.
Genuineness. With the so called unconditional acceptance, or what C. Rogers called
unconditional positive regard I just mentioned before, this is the second of the three core
conditions that must be present in ANY helping relationship.
Genuineness is precisely about listening to oneself as a listener/counselor, about being
authentic, being myself. To help others one needs to be aware of all that is going on inside

oneself while listening. It means being open to ones own experience, not shutting off any
of it, and letting this out in such a way that the person seeking help can gain the benefit of
it. One way of putting this which may seem strange to you is that if I can form a helping
relationship to myself if I can be sensitively aware of and acceptant toward my own
feelings- then the likelihood is great that I can form a helping relationship toward another.
Now, acceptantly to be what I am, in this sense, and to permit this to show through to the
other person, is the most difficult task I know and one I never fully achieve. (Carl R.
Rogers 1961: 51)
Empathy. Many therapists think this is the first and most important quality in a helping
relationship. It means getting inside the world of the person to help so he/she feels accepted
and understood.
Two things are definitively relevant to this: that the empathy is accurate, and that that is
made known to the client. This accuracy means precisely the listeners ability to listen,
identify with and receive the other person in an unconditional, non-judgmental and
acceptant way.
References
John McLeod: Counselling Skill. Open University Press 2007
Carl R. Rogers: On becoming a person. First published by Constable & Robinson Ltd
GB, London 1967
http://www.manurodriguez.com/what-makes-a-good-listener-a-brief-essay-about-listening-as-away-of-helping/

Below is a free essay on "The Importance Of Listening" from Anti Essays, your source for
free research papers, essays, and term paper examples.
Jake Kim
3/23/12
Listening/Responsibility to peers
To listen means to take notice of and act on what someone says. Almost every single
person has probably had problems listening at one point in their lives. Listening is simple,
just pay attention to what the speaker has to say and maintain eye contact. However, most
people have problems paying attention and staying on topic. This only happens because
there are distractions all around them, from sudden outbursts of others comments, to
fascinating things that surround them. For example, if you do not listen to the speaker that
is telling a story, you may misinterpret the story and spread a false rumor that may be
deleterious to the person. It may ruin their social life or their reputation in a company or
anything else. However, the person may have only told you half of the story that actually
has a hopeful and beneficial factor. In my opinion, listening is a skill and hearing is just
something everybody does. Possessing the skills of listening is important because it
enhances our ability to understand clearly. People who have better listening skills can
fathom the topic without difficulty, which could be substantially beneficial and be
supportive to their career or daily life. Also, listening enhances the amount of respect and
trust given. This could be attained simply by paying attention and showing signs of respect

such as good body language and maintaining eye contact. Trust between two people could
be built by sharing hobbies or things that they wouldnt tell or show others. For example,
you could tell someone you are not very close with about something you did not tell anyone
else before. This will definitely improve the trust in between the two people. In conclusion,
listening is important because it could build trust and could enhance your understanding of
things that other people may not understand.
http://www.antiessays.com/free-essays/The-Importance-Of-Listening-198188.html

1188 words essay on Listening Skills And Memory

Vineet Prakash
There is a large quantity of talk in our lives and it is easy to undervalue the true worth of
conversation. Since the quality of talk ranges from time-wasting to life-changing, it is not
easy to simplify whether a particular talk is important or inconsequential. But
unfortunately, people tend to make snap judgments concerning the impact of another
person's words and then allocate attention accordingly.
In such instances, language becomes rather ineffectual means of communication.
Something seemingly of little import may hide behind the words a host of other
information that may be of vast importance. Often, people actually say something without
precisely spelling it out.
However, it is possible to become a better listener and one can begin to grasp the hidden
messages behind a conversation. Paying more attention is of little help if one does not
know what to pay attention to. Disclosures are easy to recognize when we hear them if they
are risky. On the other hand, it is the disclosures of minor risk that people do not see them
for what they are. Ordinarily, whenever a piece of information is provided to you that fall
outside the normal daily exchange.
It should sound a little alarm to consider the risk the speaker is taking in making the
disclosure. By listening to, recognizing, and analyzing the magnitude of a disclosure, one
can also get some idea about the amount of trust the other person has in you. However, this
task sometimes gets a little difficult when you are flooded with disclosures.
One good thing about flooded disclosures is that they provide avenues for insight and
invention as they involve obsessive, preoccupied, lost-in-thought process. In such
instances, the disclosure becomes preoccupied with reliving, problem solving, complaining,
or justifying, so to say everything else concerning the conversation gets pushed to the
background including the listener. Since disclosure is a two-way street, disclosure matching
makes for a long-term association.
Some statements are reflective and they mirror back the heart of another's message. They
re-present the message, usually in a condensed form. They neither try to solve the other
person's problems, nor add new meaning nor analyze the message. They simply show that
meaning has been registered and reveal an act of empathy. They can be One of the most

powerful talk tools if you consider good listening to is a means f getting the most
information you can from a speaker. Reflections are useful and necessary because people
often have a hard time simply saying "I understand" or "I feel for you".
Reflections reassure the speaker in a subtle manner and without seriously breaking up the
rhythm of a conversation. They can also be used to guide the speaker when he moves off a
subject before you feel you have heard enough. However, an off-the-mark reflection can
encourage the speaker to elaborate, and repeat the same message with a little different twist.
So, it is important to hone on this skill.
Some statements are interpreters in the sense they take the same message and
remanufacture it, classify it, and deliver it as a piece of news. Thus, it is an aggressive tool
compared to reflection which is restrained and follows the other's message, avoiding
attempts at adding new meaning. Basically, whenever someone takes information and
forms an opinion, whether it is in the shape of a solution to a problem, an insult, advice, a
character analysis, or a criticism, it is an interpretation. Interpretations, given sincerely try
to tell something that is not known to the listener. It is necessary to understand the intent
behind interpretations before acting on the information they relay.
Another important area where one has to keep his ear tuned to interpretation is in novel and
new situations as they have a potentiate embarrassment, confusion, and even possible loss
of face. Here, the key is to listen for phrasing. Words with absolute characteristics always,
never, impossible, everyone, nobody, nothing, etc., are often danger signs of interpretation.
Questions, the most popular piece of language, are used for a wide range of reasons and
motives. The interesting part about questions is not what they are asking but what they are
telling. Loaded questions often start with phrases such as 'wouldn't it be better if,' 'why
don't you.' 'shouldn't we try to,' aren't you being,' 'doesn't that make you,' etc. In such
questions the message is more important than the question asked. So when you listen to a
loaded question, ask yourself why it was not phrased more neutrally.
People who are looking for a particular response without necessarily manipulating the
listener to make that response use semi-innocent questions like "What do you think?"
People searching for a brief answer ask closed questions. They can be recognized as they
are often put with a voice that sounds eager or impatient, wanting a speedy, cogent answer.
These questions are vital and recognizing them for what they are can keep you from
running off at the mouth when someone asks you something simple.
Open questions invite longer, unrushed answers. If closed and open questions are not used
properly it would result in answers that are either not full enough to be satisfying or are
four times longer than what you were looking for. People who want to display knowledge
use disclosing questions. If you come across a question that is so detailed, well informed,
and conclusive, that person is not asking you anything. Instead, he is telling you that he is,
in fact, well informed. Hence, what is said and how it is said are both important for a
listener. When you start framing questions in different ways depending on the answers
required, you have started to sharpen your listening focus.

Besides listening, good memory is another necessity. People take more kindly to you if
they believe that you feel they are important enough to remember. Good memory will make
people look well informed, competent, and on top of the situation. Believe it or not, the
secret to a good memory is the same as the secret to listening skills paying more attention.
If someone is not initially paying enough attention to a piece of information, be it a name,
place, fact, or figure, it will never be properly fed into his memory.
When there is something special, unique or unusual, people automatically pay attention to
it. But if it is something commonplace or names, faces, facts, and figures that are so
numerous then an additional effort is required. It requires observation, which is distinct
from seeing something for a momentary and featureless experience. It means paying
attention to detail, and setting the object apart from other things in your mind and memory.
It can be done by noticing special properties or features of commonplace items.
The best way is to raise a question and then make an observation to answer it. With
practice, observation may become a person's second nature. As focus on details increase,
the way you look at things will also change. The attention paid to detail will make each
object rare enough that it will stand out in your mind and be easily encoded.
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