Bully

Bullying is a serious issue that is faced by many people, and can leave a child to live in
complete fear. It is abusive and intolerable to exist in any home or school. There are all
types of bullies and all types of victims. Bullying can cause lifelong psychological effects
that may require therapy in order to overcome. In more serious cases, the bullying has
gotten so bad that the victim chooses to take their own life just to escape the bullying
they endure. It is helpful to recognize the behavior of a bully as well as the signs that
someone is a victim as the sooner the signs are spotted the sooner help can arrive for all
parties involved.
What is Bullying?
Bullying can consist of many different types of behaviors. Physical bullying consists of
any type of physical violence. This type of bullying makes up 30.5% of school bullying. It
consists of actually beating of the victim or a simple action of sticking out ones foot and
tripping someone.
Another type of bullying is verbal bullying. This type of bullying consists of name calling,
teasing, making fun of others, and threats of violence. This type of bulling makes up
46.5% of bullying incidents in school.
Next is intimidation. This type of bullying occurs when the victim is threatened in order
for the bully to get them to do what they want them to do such as homework
assignments or giving them money.
Lastly, and most disturbing is cyber bullying. This type of bullying is perhaps the most
dangerous type of bullying as it can be done anonymously. Cyber bullying can find many
mediums such as email, text messaging, and social networks such as Face Book and
MySpace. Here the bully can remain unknown as they can create fake screen names
and profiles. It makes it easier to be a bully and to fall victim. Cyber bullying can consist
of threats of violence, verbal abuse, and spreading false information for the purpose of
embarrassing someone or hurting their reputations.

Who is the Bully?

Possibility of the reason being the bullying attitude is that they feels that they have no
control in their lives. Maybe their home life is out of control and they are not listened to or
valued by their family. In order to compensate for the lack of value at home the bully
finds it in other places in unhealthy ways. Even though these are all valid explanations
sometimes the only explanation is that the bully is a mean and cruel person who only
feels good when they can cause others harm. The above mentioned facts on bullies
have been widely accepted for many years, but new research proposes that bullying is
something entirely different to some people.
Psychologists used to believe that bullies have low self-esteem, and put down other
people to feel better about themselves. Though there are different reasons behind the
behavior of bullying, most bullies have certain things in common. Bullies behave in a
dominant manner and cast blame for the bad things in their lives upon others. Though
bullying is a learned behavior, genetics can play a part. For instance, some people are
more predisposed to violence and aggression. However, not all of them will become
bullies. Some are able to find ways to take out their aggression in more healthy ways.
Another commonality in bullies is that they are attention seekers. Although the attention
they receive is negative they still crave it as often it is the only attention that they receive.
Who are the Victims?
Though anyone can become the target of a bully, there are some commonalties between
those who fall victim to bullying as bullies tend to choose a certain type of person to
abuse. There are many reasons how and why bullies target others, and the reasons are
consistent between cases. People who are victims of bullying find themselves being
bullied due to their achievements, do not have a large circle of friends, subjected to
unwarranted teasing and rumors, and tend to be more serious about important things in
life such as school or work. Targets of bullies often have little or no friends who can stick
up for them and have low self-esteem. When being bullied, they become visibly
frightened, cry, or do not have an appropriate response. That is just what the child who
bullies wants; it becomes an invitation to even more bullying.

Effects of Bullying on the Victim

Bullying will cause lasting lifelong effect on the victim. Many victims need counselling to
come to grips with the bullying and to help them to rebuild their lives as bullying can lead
to depression, panic attacks, and physical ailments such as ulcers. Children who are
bullied often suffer academically due to the fact that they fear going to school where the
source of their stress resides. Some children are so affected by bullying that they choose
not to further their education due to fear of having to face bullying in college. Many
people who are bullied are so hurt by the cruel treatment that they contemplate suicide
and some actually attempt and succeed in taking their own lives. It is common for
children who are bullied to be the victim of bullying in their adult lives as well since their
self esteem has been so devalued and they cannot seem to find the courage to stop
being a victim.
Another serious issue for the victims of bullying is that the friends that they do have turn
their back on the victim because they are afraid of being the outcast or the target. This
further alienates the victim from their normal world. Also, for some victims, being bullied
is a whole other learning experience. Sometimes the victim, out of anger and lack of
control of their own lives, seek out someone who is weaker than they are and target
them; hence the victim turns into the bully. These are all serious effects that can truly
change the victims life and outlook on the future.
Effects of Bullying on the Bully
Though it may sound strange, there are actually negative effects from bullying on the
bullies themselves. Bullies can suffer long-term effects of bullying if their behavior is not
addressed. Sometimes a bully can actually hate the way they treat their victims but
somehow feel justified in doing so since they are abused by others as well. This feeling
tends to override the feeling of empathy which makes for a psychological mess for the
bully. Feeling conflicted about their behavior is also a source of stress that makes them
want to bully more. If a bully is not stopped and treated then the chance of them
stopping and becoming a different and healthier person is very small and their behavior
will continue into adulthood, affecting the type of life they lead.

What Can we Do?

Bullying does not have to be a reality that one must live with. If a person is being bullied
they should tell someone; a parent, teacher, or counselor. Parents must take an active
role in their childs life and safety. If a parent knows that their child is bullying then they
must take steps to stop this behavior. Going to counseling can help get to the root of the
issue and help the bully to change their behavior before it is too late. If a person is a
witness to a bullying event then it is their responsibility to step in whether by taking up for
the victim or by getting an adult right away.
Conclusion
Bullying is a serious issue. There are many reasons for bullying but none are so serious
that they cannot be overcome with the right treatment. This type of behavior must be
curbed as it has proven to have lasting psychological effects on the victims and lasting
effects on the bully as well. Knowing what bullying is and what the signs of bullying are is
a step in the right direction in stopping it in its tracks. There is help for both the bully and
the victim and anyone who knows that bullying is going on is responsible for helping to
get the process of help going. It may not be happening to you personally, but it is
everyones responsibility to help stop it.