Professional Documents
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Excellence Award
U.S. Department of Health
& Human Services
www.fosteringfamiliestoday.com
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W W W . F O S T E R I N G F A M I L I E S T O D A Y . C O M
editorial
For foster parents, relationships can be more complicated. From parenting a child from a background of abuse
and neglect to working with a birth parent struggling
to overcome drug addiction, foster parents work within
some of the most challenging relationships in order to
help children. Within this realm, foster parents must
also build a relationship, not only with the agency for
which they provide foster care services for, but also with
individual caseworkers, CASAs, judges and others. Each
one of these relationships plays an important role in
supporting birth parents toward reunification or helping
a child overcome challenges caused by early childhood
traumas.
Often times we hear complaints from foster parents
about personality conflicts with caseworkers or frustrations with court orders. These frustrations can lead to
burn out and foster parents deciding that it is too difficult to navigate all the various relationships required to
be a foster parent. When this happens, the children are
the ones who are most hurt when good foster parents
walk away.
In this issue of Fostering Families Today, were tackling
the topic of relationships and the importance of foster
parents being a valued member of their childs team. We
believe its important to provide the tools to help all the
F O S T E R I N G
F A M I L I E S
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members of a childs team successfully build a relationship that will ultimately help the child.
Understanding each persons perspective and the challenges within their job description is one of the most
important areas to recognize. If a foster parent can
appreciate that a caseworker has 40 kids and 30 different
birth and foster families to work with, they can better
understand why the caseworker may be tired and short
tempered. If caseworkers can understand when a foster
parent has had three sick kids all week and 10 different medical and visitation appointments to work into
the weekly schedule, that the foster parent might not be
excited when the caseworker calls at the last minute to
change the visitation time. If people can navigate these
challenges and nuances of relationship with empathy
and understanding, a solid relationship of appreciation
can be built.
kim phagan-hansel
M A R C H / A P R I L
Kim
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W W W . F O S T E R I N G F A M I L I E S T O D AY . C O M
Volume 15 Issue 1
28
32
focus
features
By Kim Phagan-Hansel
By Betsy DuKatz
By Lisa Ferentz
Managing Conflict in the Home Part II . . . 48
By Connie Clendenan
The Easter Moose . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 26
Keeping Good Records. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 20
By Bill Sutley
By Catherine Marshall
The Expendables . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 50
By Deborah Southard
By Jake Terpstra
By Lauren Ferguson
By Michelle Bradley
Called to Adoption . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 30
By Julie Myra
By Rhonda Sciortino
and Mike Harding, WSO-CSE
By Tal Sagie, MA
By Melissa Bailey
Winning Plays for the Advocacy Game . . 42
UC Davis has First of its Kind
Program to Aid Former Foster Youth . . . . . 60
By Sarah Colwell
4
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W W W . F O S T E R I N G F A M I L I E S T O D AY . C O M
Richard Fischer
Publisher
Kim Phagan-Hansel
Editor
Kim Phagan-Hansel
Art Director
46
60
columns
in every issue
Editorial . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3
By Nicole Dobbins
News & Views . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 6
The Early Years . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 21
Everyday Heroes . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 8
By Kim Phagan-Hansel
Fostering Families. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 35
Must Reads . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 40
CEU Quiz . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 63
F O S T E R I N G
F A M I L I E S
Advisory Board
Lisa Albers, M.D. M.P.H.
Harvard Medical School
June Bond, M.Ed.
Adoption Advocacy of South Carolina
Irene Clements
National Foster Parent Association
M. Kim Combes, LBSW, M.Ed.
Adoptive Parent, Therapist, Presenter
Nicole Dobbins
Voice for Adoption
Marcine Fernandes
Massachusetts Foster Care School Liaison
Maureen K. Flatley
adoption advocate
Jerry Foxhoven
Executive Director, Drake Legal Clinic
Drake University Law
Sarah Gerstenzang
New York State Citizens Coalition for Children
Linda Grillo
Adoptive Families Together
James Kenny, Ph.D.
Psychologist and Founder of Adoption
in Child Time, Inc.
Peter Kenny, JD
Lawyer and Founder of Adoption
in Child Time, Inc.
Pat OBrien
You Gotta Believe!
Eileen Mayers Pasztor, DSW
California State University at Long Beach
Joyce Maguire Pavao, Ph.D.
Pavao Consulting and Coaching (PCC)
Pre/Post Adoption Consulting and Training (PACT)
Raynard Price
Therapeutic Foster and Adoptive Parent
Debbie Riley, M.S.
C.A.S.E. of Maryland
Adam Robe
Foster Care Alumni of America
Debra Schell-Frank, Ed.D.
Educator
Barbara Tremitiere, Ph.D.
One Another Adoption Program
Fostering Families TODAY is published bimonthly by
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W W W . F O S T E R I N G F A M I L I E S T O D AY . C O M
F O S T E R I N G
F A M I L I E S
&
news views
COMMENTS ON DATA COLLECTION
IN CHILD WELFARE (AFCARS) REQUESTED
The U.S. Department of Health and Human
Services is seeking comment on updates to the
AFCARS (Adoption and Foster Care Analysis
and Reporting System). In the announcement, it
states that AFCARS needs updating to incorporate statutory requirements added since 1993; to
implement statutory authority to assess penalties
for noncompliant data submissions; to enhance
the type and quality of information reported to
the Administration for Children and Families
by modifying and expanding data elements and
requiring agencies to submit historical data; and
to remove outdated requirements that will allow
title IV-E agencies and the Administration for
Children and Families to keep the pace with new
technology.
In order to be considered, the U.S. Department of
Health and Human Services must receive written
comments on the proposed rules before April
10. Written comments can be sent to: Kathleen
McHugh, Division of Policy, Childrens Bureau,
Administration on Children, Youth and Families,
Administration for Children and Families, 1250
Maryland Avenue, SW, 8th Floor, Washington,
D.C. 20024. Comments can also be submitted
electronically at http://www.regulations.gov.
REPORT AND BRIEFING FINDS RECESSION
IMPACT ON CHILD WELL BEING
Recently First Focus and Policy Lab of Childrens
Hospital of Philadelphia sponsored a Capitol
Hill briefing and discussion on the Effect of the
Great Recession on Child Well-Being. The report
is a follow up from a report released in 2010. In
regard to child abuse (child maltreatment) the
report said, that recent child welfare data suggests that overall maltreatment rates continued
to fall despite the recession, though rates of neglect increased and have accounted for a greater
share of all maltreatment cases nationwide. To
read the report, visit http://bit.ly/1MjrWXT.
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W W W . F O S T E R I N G F A M I L I E S T O D AY . C O M
A Foster Childs
Wish Come True
Malysha is a fashionable and brave
young lady who likes to dye her hair to
match her mood. Shes in 10th grade, and
loves hip hop dancing and hanging out
with her friends. Malyshas been making
many positive changes in her life, despite
challenges. She had been climbing at a
local climbing gym, and said she wants
to keep going so she can build some
muscle. Malysha was getting some
bouldering pointers from a friend who is
on a competitive climbing team. Malysha
was admiring her friend's climbing pants and said shed love to have a
pair. One Simple Wish posted her wish and it was granted by a thoughtful
donor this fall. Shes on top of the world and loves her new pants!
One Simple Wish enables everyone to make a difference in the lives of
foster children and at-risk youth by allowing them to grant their wishes
through One Simple Wishs website at www.onesimplewish.org. If you
are interested in granting a wish or have a foster child who would like to
submit a wish, write to info@onesimplewish.org.
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W W W . F O S T E R I N G F A M I L I E S T O D AY . C O M
everyday heroes
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Dr. Gregory Keck, center with his sons, James, left, and Brian, right.
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F O S T E R I N G
BY KIM PHAGAN-HANSEL
everyday heroes
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W W W . F O S T E R I N G F A M I L I E S T O D AY . C O M
In
NEICE is a cloud-based system that translates data between states using NIEM
standards. NIEM stands for: National
Information Exchange Model. These standards were developed so that diverse communities could collectively share data and
improve local and government challenges in
exchanging information across states and
various systems. These standards were created between a collaborative effort by the
BY NICOLE DOBBINS
The NEICE pilot is an innovative child welfare development; it is a project that holds
great potential for various data sharing
elements, both across state borders, but
also potentially across other state systems.
Project administrators are imagining the
possibilities for interoperability.
Department of Justice and the Department
of Homeland Security. The NEICE pilot is
the first of its kind to implement the use
of the NIEM standards within the child
welfare community. The idea of the NEICE
project stemmed from the web-based
Interstate Compact System developed in
Florida. The Interstate Compact System system in Florida has significantly shortened
processing times and reduced administrative costs for the state. It is the hope that
NEICE, once fully implemented, will replicate these accomplishments for all states
that participate.
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national dialogue about NEICEs interoperability potential and what expansion could
mean for protecting and serving more children and families through the utilization of
technology tools. As mentioned, for now the
project currently exists for only six states
and extends only through the beginning of
this year. However, program administrators
are dedicated to finding ways to take the
project to scale, so that more children will
benefit from this development that has lead
to a more efficient ICPC process.
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BY NICOLE DOBBINS
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BY KIM PHAGAN-HANSEL
Nyugen continued to bounce through different foster and group homes before aging out.
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BY KIM PHAGAN-HANSEL
feature
Doing Good Works Founder Jordan Bartlett, right, meets with his development
team, Ashley Nyugen and Morris Wentworth. Both aged out of foster care and are
now helping other former foster youth gain employment through Doing Good Works.
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In
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[ kids in waiting
Eddie, 16, is a bright eyed and interesting young man. He loves to attend
church and assists in the sound board at his church. He loves all types
of music. Eddie is not interested in any sports except for basketball. He
loves to play his video games. Eddie wants to have a two parent forever
home with no other children in the home. Eddie needs a patient couple to
ensure he has structure and stays on task. Eddie loves attention and will
thrive in a loving home.
For more information, visit www.HeartGalleryAlabama.com or call 205445-1293.
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B Y N AT I O N A L A D O P T I O N D AY
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BY CONNIE CLENDENAN
In the Beginning...
...Relationships Happen!
V
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F A M I L I E S
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BY C O N N I E C L E N D E N A N
We have support groups, trainings and special events monthly so there are a lot of times
for us to be together with our families and
they can be a support to one another as well.
We make many resources available to our
families so when they need something we are
not reacting in an emergency situation. We
have many local experts that we introduce to
our families who can help them with things
from dealing with teenagers and the Internet,
to special needs children, to disciplining our
children, marriage seminars/retreats, how to
manage the special education system, where
to locate physicians that take Medi-Cal in
their area, summer camps for kids and much
more.
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BY DEBORAH SOUTHARD
The Importance
of Keeping Good Records
As
be printed into book format to keep the information and memories from being lost.
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W W W . F O S T E R I N G F A M I L I E S T O D A Y . C O M
Finally, there are tears that result from emotions and are produced when our bodies are
under stress. These tears have been found
to have a different chemical make-up than
other tears with a higher level of proteinbased hormones, according to Crying: The
Mystery of Tears by by William H. Frey,
Ph.D., and Muriel Langseth. Furthermore,
they elicit emotional responses from others
which are rooted in the history, experiences, culture, practices and values of the
observer.
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WE WANT TO
HEAR FROM YOU!
Send us your personal foster care
story to editor@adoptinfo.net.
W W W . F O S T E R I N G F A M I L I E S T O D A Y . C O M
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BY JAKE TERPSTRA
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When foster parents are accused of mistreatment of a child, agency staff do not talk with
them or answer phone calls. This can be
terrifying for foster parents, even though it
is standard procedure done for legal reasons.
The shock of this is less if the caseworker
told the foster parents in advance that it is
policy and not personal.
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BY J A K E T E R P S T R A
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BY LISA FERENTZ
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B Y C AT H E R I N E M A R S H A L L
brother, Robert, had been our foster children for almost two years. Michael and I
had hoped to adopt them right away from
the countys foster-adopt program, but we
discovered shortly after the children were
placed with us that the birth parents were
fighting the adoption. Parental rights had
not been removed as we were promised.
Robert and Jenny had been through seven
foster homes in the two-and-half years
before they came to us. Their birth parents
had disappeared or were incarcerated during most of that time, only re-appearing
occasionally to disrupt their foster placements. We tried to keep our legal woes from
affecting our kids, but it was a struggle to
maintain a sense of normalcy while the
attorneys haggled in family court. Having
traditional holiday experiences was my way
of anchoring our new little family in spite
of this confusion.
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One F
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BY L A U R E N K I D D F E R G U S O N
Eighteen-yearold Crystal
advocates for
others who
have experienced sex
trafficking.
Photo courtesy
of Patrick Michels/
Texas Observer.
to Sex Traffickers
At
NEWS
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EFFECTING CHANGE
Most people dont realize the strong connection between the deep flaws in the foster care
system and human trafficking in the United
States, said Sandy Santana, interim executive
director of Childrens Rights. This epidemic
of foster youth being lured into the sex trade
is devastating our kids, and reforming child
welfare is one of the most effective ways to
prevent it.
F A M I L I E S
T O D A Y
F O S T E R I N G
GETTING OUT
Crystal, now 23, said she managed to escape
the sex trade after a man who already paid
for time with her couldnt follow through
with it, and gave her extra money to get out.
BY L A U R E N K I D D F E R G U S O N
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BY JULIE MYRA
Called to Adoption
A
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BY JULIE MYRA
feature
labor that brought this baby to us, the journey was longer and more arduous for him
and us, but none-the-less we were a family.
We instantly loved this little being. We would
protect him and call him our own as long as
we were lucky enough to have him.
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BY J A M I E S C H WA N D T, E D . D .
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in Foster Care
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B Y TA L S A G I E , M A
Bedwetting
As
parents,we
parents,
we live forr the milestones
in our childs development. First
steps, first words and for all of us,
we breathe a sigh of emotional (and financial)
relief when we say goodbye to diapers and pullups. For many, however, an end to diapers and
pull-ups never really arrives due to bedwetting,
which affects an estimated 5-7 million children
between the ages of 7 and 12 years old.
To provide a sense of scale, between 10 and
15 percent of 7-year-olds struggle with bed
wetting. Its a far-too-common disorder that
is often improperly diagnosed and treated. A
doctor who advises a parent to merely live
with it and wait until the child grows out of
it simply isnt current with regard to modern
treatments.
In the months or even years that it could take
a child to grow out of it, he or she will likely
experience heightened anxiety, stress and
embarrassment, making the endless loads
of extra laundry and costly pull-up products
seem trivial. After countless nights of midnight
housekeeping, parents oftentimes try anything
to attain a sense of normalcy.
Some doctors will order blood, urine tests and
more. Some will advise parents to restrict fluid
intake after dinner. Others will direct parents
to take their children to the bathroom themselves, which takes responsibility away from
the child and trains the childs brain to recognize the wrong signals. In my experience, the
saddest treatment is when some exasperated
parents punish their child by forcing them to
change the wet linens to teach a lesson with
the intent of forcing the child to learn to wake
up and go to the bathroom.
Confronting this ignorance requires that parents become educated and effectively assist
their child in overcoming this condition. As
a practitioner, I see an overwhelming lack of
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The prevailing issue is usually due to a learning fault that stems from deep sleep, whereby
the child does not recognize the signals to
wake up to urinate or be able to hold the
muscles tight enough to wait until morning.
Its a simple problem that requires a complex
solution.
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must reads
ZOEY TO THE MAX
Directed by Jim Valdez
Brand Inc. Entertainment,
2015, 126 minutes
Zoey (played by Cassidy Mack, the
2014 Adoption Day spokesperson)
is a young teen growing up in foster
care. Shes bounced through multiple
homes and struggled to fit in at
school and with her foster families.
After an incident with some kids
from school, Zoey ends up inadvertently running away. When she ends
up in a small California town, her life begins to change for the better
when she meets Sheriff Tom Jenkins (Grant Bowler) and his wife,
Samantha (Amy Smart), and their black lab Max. After Max is kidnapped by a couple of thugs, Zoeys issues with her foster care past
come to the forefront. But after helping apprehend the culprits, Zoey
finds herself not only fitting into Tom and Samanthas family, but also
with other kids in the community.
Zoey to the Max is a kid-friendly adventure of a young teen girl.
While there are many positive messages that come out in the movie,
the film leans too far toward the fairy tale, happily-ever-after story
to be truly believable about children in foster care. After staying with
Tom and Samantha for just one night, the couple decides they want
to adopt her. It does not realistically portray the process to foster
and adopt a child. And while kids in foster care certainly can have
good manners, Zoey seems a little too polite for a kid who has moved
through multiple foster homes. For a child who would have abandonment issues, she gets over her difficult feelings far too easily. However,
overlooking all of the inaccuracies in portraying the foster care
experience, Zoey to the Max is a feel-good film about a little girl who
overcomes much, finds a family and falls in love with a dog. Cassidy
Mack is a great role model for kids, especially those in the foster care
system because she was adopted from foster care herself. Ultimately,
Zoey to the Max is a good family-friendly movie with a happy ending, which my 10- and 6-year-olds loved. Because its pretty light on
portraying the real traumas of the foster care system, it might be an
easy lead-in to discuss foster care with kids currently in your home.
Reviewed by Kim Phagan-Hansel
F O S T E R I N G
F A M I L I E S
T O D A Y
M A R C H / A P R I L
WELCOME TO THE
ROLLER COASTER
Real Life Stories of the Ups
and Downs of Foster Care
By D.D. Foster
CreateSpace, 2014, ISBN13: 978-1500249731, 238
pages, $16.99
When 14 foster moms
team up to share their
fostering stories, you get a
roller coaster of emotions
provided throughout the
pages of Welcome to the
Roller Coaster. This new
book shares a variety of
foster perspectives from
happily-ever-after tales of foster care adoption to the yo-yo process of
reunification. One foster mom shares how the heart break of letting
go of one foster sons led to the creation of a larger extended family
that included her former foster son. Another shares the frustrating
story of successfully reunifying her foster child with his birth parents
only to have him return to her after the birth parents make drastic
mistakes and then the child moved out-of-state into a relative placement. One author writes: Foster parents often hear, I dont know
how you do it. What I have learned is that foster care is hard. It is an
unbelievable roller coaster of events and emotions that is completely
unpredictable. It breaks our hearts and makes us grow. We live our
lives never really being able to know what will happen next. Even
when it seems the story has been written, and the chapter closed,
we have been taught to expect the unexpected. We have also learned
that it is completely worth it. We can confidently say our lives are better for having known David, having known his parents, and having
walked this road.
Welcome to the Roller Coaster weaves together the stories of happiness, sadness, heartbreak, exultation and everything in between.
The stories provide a real glimpse into the realities of fostering, both
the good and the bad. Welcome to the Roller Coaster does not sugar
coat the realities of fostering. This book serves as an eye-opening
and honest perspective of what foster parents experience and what
it takes to give your heart to children without ever knowing what the
outcome will be. Welcome to the Roller Coaster is a great read that
all prospective foster parents should read through before starting the
foster parenting journey. If during the training process, stories similar to these were shared, we might have more prepared foster parents
ready to tackle the roller coaster called foster care.
Reviewed by Kim Phagan-Hansel
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W W W . F O S T E R I N G F A M I L I E S T O D A Y . C O M
F O S T E R I N G
F A M I L I E S
T O D A Y
M A R C H / A P R I L
FOSTERING ADOLESCENTS
By Elaine farmer, Sue Moyers
and Jo Lipscombe
Jessica Kingsley Publishers,
2004, ISBN: 1-84310-227-7,
256 pages, $39.95 paperback
Subscribe today!
1-888-924-6736
1-888-9
24-6736
www.fosteringfamiliestoday.com
2 0 1 5
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Winning
W
F O S T E R I N G
F A M I L I E S
T O D A Y
M A R C H / A P R I L
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EDUCATIONAL ADVOCACY
Children who come into care that are school
age must have an advocate in the school.
F A M I L I E S
T O D A Y
M A R C H / A P R I L
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parents is a critical key in helping the growing number of children who enter the foster
care system each year.
[ kids in waiting ]
Tanisha, 18, is the oldest of the sibling group and is a responsible young lady. She
likes to sing, dance, experiment with hair and she likes basketball and running
track. She has a desire of becoming a beautician and a surgeon. Family means a
lot to her and she loves spending time with her siblings.
LaDerrick, 16, is an intelligent young man who loves his sisters dearly and is protective of them. LaDerrick is an all around sports guy as he likes football, basketball, soccer and baseball. He is a good listener and is helpful. He also likes to be listened to, which is one of his listed characteristics
for adoptive parent(s). LaDerrick has high hopes for his future and desires to go to college to be an occupational therapist and go into
the Coastguard. LaDerrick worries about he and his siblings futures not knowing where the next move will be. It means a lot to him
for them to have a stable, permanent home together.
Quindericca, 15, is assertive and expresses herself well. Quinn is a talker but appreciates being listened to. Quinn has a clear understanding of what adoption means, but she does not think an adoptive home will be sought. She wants nothing more than to be with
her siblings which she states is all I have. Quinn desires a parent(s) who will be willing to provide a stable, caring and nurturing
environment for her and her siblings.
They desire a family who will accept them as a package deal. They want a family to show them that despite life changing events and
their past behaviors they will be loved regardless. They request no pets because Quinn is afraid of dogs and dislikes cats. For more
information, visit www.HeartGalleryAlabama.com or call 205-445-1293.
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F O S T E R I N G
F A M I L I E S
T O D A Y
M A R C H / A P R I L
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F O S T E R I N G
F A M I L I E S
T O D A Y
M A R C H / A P R I L
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B Y C H A R L E Y J O Y C E , M S W, L I C S W
INNOCENT OR PROBLEMATIC?
childhood behavior that deserves
attention from parents, and others
involved in the care of children, is
childhood cruelty to animals. The initial step in
assessing the seriousness of a childs strikingout toward animals begins by reviewing the
intent, frequency and pattern of the childs
behavior. At times, children will innocently
mistreat an animal. As an example, a young
child may pull a cats tail not understanding that
it is hurtful to the cat. In this innocent example,
the cat would generally react to the child,
resulting in the child becoming startled and
also causing the child to feel a sense of regret
for hurting the cat. Ideally, a parent would also
explain to the child that this is hurtful to the
cat, reinforcing that animals need to be treated
with care. Generally, if the mistreatment was an
innocent act by the child, the type of behavior
described in the example will extinguish as
a result of the child learning from the cats
response, coupled with parental input and their
own internal emotional response. Unfortunately
if a child consistently hurts animals, seeks
animals to hurt, and does not respond to
parental interventions, a problem could exist.
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Gracie with Cooper just after he came to live with the family.
Reunification
Through
Different
Eyes!
R
B Y B E T S Y D U K AT Z
feature
The Dukatz children include, from left, 18-year-old Sam, 6-year-old Lucy,
14-year-old Gracie and 4-year-old Cooper.
F O S T E R I N G
F A M I L I E S
T O D A Y
M A R C H / A P R I L
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B Y B E T S Y D U K AT Z
feature
...
The Dukatz family, includes, from left, 18-year-old Sam, Gene and Betsy, 6-year-old
Lucy, 4-year-old Cooper and 14-year-old Gracie.
[ kids in waiting ]
Eric, 17, has a great personality. He is outgoing and talkative. He is always smiling and playful. He asks a lot of questions about things that he is interested in. He makes As and Bs in
school and occasionally needs help with homework, reading, math and social studies. He likes
to draw, play video games, and enjoys playing football and basketball in the neighborhood.
Alabama is his favorite football team. He says that he wants a family to know that he is kind
and nice to be around.
For more information, visit www.HeartGalleryAlabama.com or call 205-445-1293.
F O S T E R I N G
F A M I L I E S
T O D A Y
M A R C H / A P R I L
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BY BILL SUTLEY
F O S T E R I N G
F A M I L I E S
T O D A Y
M A R C H / A P R I L
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4. REDIRECT BEHAVIOR
BY OFFERING OPTIONS
One of the most practical tools for managing conflict is for parents to offer their child
options when conflict crops up. This isnt
a new method but it has proven extremely
effective for children with FASD and RAD.
F O S T E R I N G
F A M I L I E S
T O D A Y
M A R C H / A P R I L
2 0 1 5
BY BILL SUTLEY
5. DECIDE ON OPTIONS
OUTSIDE THE CONFLICT
Making the options offered in a conflict more
effective requires strategic thinking. Parents
should find a time when their child is calm
and determine possible options before a crisis
occurs. This is also an opportunity to ask children what helps them feel calm when they are
upset maybe it is coloring, playing in the
yard or listening to a certain song.
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B Y M A R K C O E N , L C S W, C A M H S
The Expendables
T
his past week I had a young foster client on the verge of disruption due to
his behavior, and though the parents
took great care not to disclose that he and
his sister were moving, he had that foster
kid sixth sense that something was up. A
week before his disruption, his foster father
emailed me and wrote:
F O S T E R I N G
F A M I L I E S
T O D A Y
M A R C H / A P R I L
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A foster child who testified in the suit commented then, Growing up, I just wanted to go home, and I just kept moving
around. It was really hard, I had different
religions, different schools, different friends,
different parents, different rules different everything.
A foster child who testified in the suit commented then, Growing up, I just wanted to go
home, and I just kept moving around. It was
really hard, I had different religions, different
schools, different friends, different parents,
different rules different everything. There
are kids out there today going through the
same thing. Her foster parents usually didnt
know she had been abused and were ill-prepared to handle her problems, she said. Her
learning disabilities werent discovered until
she was 15, and her attachment disorder was
diagnosed even later. I had some behavioral
problems, and theyd say, Oh, this child is
disturbed. Instead of addressing them, theyd
just kick me out of the home.
F O S T E R I N G
F A M I L I E S
T O D A Y
M A R C H / A P R I L
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B Y M A R K C O E N , L C S W, C A M H S
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W W W . F O S T E R I N G F A M I L I E S T O D A Y . C O M
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OPTIMISM IS STRONG
More and more I see child care workers,
mental health professionals, school personnel
and YOU, foster families, learning about your
child.
Heres an Example:
I recently was asked to provide attachment
consultation for a child (Ill call her Nina)
in a group foster home (there were 10 girls
and usually three staff members at the home
at all times). Nina was creating all kinds of
problems with the other girls, and the poor
staff was up to their necks in frustration and
had run out of consequences to try, although
F O S T E R I N G
F A M I L I E S
T O D A Y
M A R C H / A P R I L
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F O S T E R I N G
F A M I L I E S
T O D A Y
M A R C H / A P R I L
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BY MICHELLE BRADLEY
Whats in a Name?
Whats
in a name? he
wondered, thin and
frightened, looking at his caseworker,
avoiding the eyes of these people the
Fosters.
Whats in a name?
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F O S T E R I N G
F A M I L I E S
T O D A Y
M A R C H / A P R I L
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ButIcant I just be I?
W W W . F O S T E R I N G F A M I L I E S T O D A Y . C O M
A simple name.Short.Relaxed.
One syllable.One syllable in a continuous dialogue.
BY MICHELLE BRADLEY
The Elephant
in the Room
feature
Three letters three letters that give nod, then step aside.
For so long, we did not know how to tend the elephant.We wanted the
elephant to be and to prosper, and to ride easy in conversation and memory.
Meg.Our sons birth mother.It was first mom, then bio mom, and now,
I think weve got it.One syllable, three letters.Mom to Meg.Explosive to
defused.
We call her Meg. It is easy to roll in conversation. It does not stoke the coals
of misplaced guilt. It does not probe the labyrinth of mom and betrayal.
[ kids in waiting ]
Acacia, 17, is an outgoing and personable young lady. She enjoys attention she receives
from others and takes pride in her appearance. She enjoys making new friends and
adjusts to new situations easily. Acacia is artistic and enjoys working on arts and crafts
projects. Acacia has a bubbly personality and desires to have a family of her own.
For more information, visit www.HeartGalleryAlabama.com or call 205-445-1293.
F O S T E R I N G
F A M I L I E S
T O D A Y
M A R C H / A P R I L
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hen a child
in foster care
is injured,
questions
abound and accusations fly.
People who dont understand the
demands of caring for wounded
children can have unrealistic
expectations or draw ugly
conclusions about negligence
without taking the time to
gather the facts and understand
the circumstances. For these
reasons and more, its important
to do foster care as a team.
Most people have no idea of
the multiple state and federal
regulations child welfare
organizations are responsible to
meet. Most people are unaware
of the standard quality of care
for children that child welfare
organizations are required to
maintain, or of the contractual
obligations for which they are
responsible. Plaintiff s lawyers
try to assert that foster families
and the foster family agencies
that oversee them are liable for
anything and everything that
could wrong.
Despite the misunderstandings
of the public and the unfair
assertions of plaintiff s lawyers,
the true liability of child welfare
agencies exists in the gap
between what theyve agreed
to do (according to regulations,
contractual obligations, and
standard of care) and what they
actually do.
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F O S T E R I N G
F A M I L I E S
ESTABLISHING A QUALITY
ASSURANCE TEAM IN THE FFA
One significant step to managing
risk is the establishment of
a multidisciplinary quality
assurance team. This Quality
Assurance function should
include members from different
departments and different levels
of authority from within the
organization. This approach is
important because the front
line child care workers and/
T O D A Y
M A R C H / A P R I L
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F O S T E R I N G
F A M I L I E S
IN CONCLUSION
Tragedy can happen even in
the best run child welfare
organizations. Regulators can
issue citations for violations
of privacy, unsafe conditions
and failure to meet the
appropriate standards of care,
among other things. Children
can return years after leaving
T O D A Y
M A R C H / A P R I L
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BY R H O N D A S C I O R T I N O A N D M I K E H A R D I N G , W S O - C S E
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5 7
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BY MELISSA BAILEY
Our
F O S T E R I N G
F A M I L I E S
T O D A Y
right away we wanted to sign on with whichever agency she worked for. The staff was
terrific in the little satellite office we became
a part of. The licensing process was long, but
the very day we received our license from
this agency we were called and told a sibling
group of four children needed a home. Our
journey went into full swing!
M A R C H / A P R I L
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F O S T E R I N G
F A M I L I E S
T O D A Y
M A R C H / A P R I L
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BY M E L I S S A B A I L E Y
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5 9
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B Y S A R A H C O LW E L L
UC Davis Guardian Professions students, from left to right, Eden Haven-Martinez, Michelle
Dean, Destiny Garcia and Cindy Preto.(Karin Higgins/UC Davis)
UC Davis has
First-of-its-kind Program
to Aid Former Foster Youth
UC
F O S T E R I N G
F A M I L I E S
T O D A Y
M A R C H / A P R I L
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B Y S A R A H C O LW E L L
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F A M I L I E S
T O D A Y
M A R C H / A P R I L
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http://success.ucdavis.edu/programs/gsp/
index.html.
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Family Talk
Teaching Responsibility
Tackling the tough task
of teaching responsibility can be made easier
with a few tips from
the parenting experts
As
Family Talk is adapted from Dr. Jim and Mary Kennys book
Parenting Tomorrows Child, which is available on Amazon.com.
F O S T E R I N G
F A M I L I E S
T O D A Y
M A R C H / A P R I L
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W W W . F O S T E R I N G F A M I L I E S T O D A Y . C O M
This is an open-book exam. As you read the articles identified below you should be able to answer the questions.
Either photocopy or tear out this page and mail it with a processing fee of $1 made out to FFT to:
Fostering Families TODAY CEU Quiz Monitor, 541 E. Garden Dr. Unit N Windsor, CO 80550
Be sure to check with your placement agency to see if they will credit you for completing the CEU Quiz.
All responses must be returned by May 31, 2015 to receive your Certificate of Credit for this issue.
PRIVATE
NAME
OR
ceu quiz
ADDRESS
OFFICE ADDRESS/PO BOX
CITY
STATE
ZIP
CITY
STATE
ZIP
Learning Objective: to increase foster and/or adoptive parents ability to apply and respond to new information and conceptual frameworks to their work with children in their care.
Please rate the following on a scale of 1-4 (1 is poor, 4 is excellent):
The information was informative: ( 1-2-3-4 )
The information was useful / helpful in my role as a foster or adoptive parent: ( 1-2-3-4 )
The information was thought-provoking, ( 1-2-3-4 ) especially to story on page(s) _______________________________
Would you read FFT if it helped you meet your states licensing objectives? ( 1-2-3-4 )
I would be interested in reading more on the topic(s) of: ______________________________________________________
1. According to the article, Building a Healthy Working
Relationship with Your Caseworker and Agency, on page 14,
which of the following statements is TRUE? (Choose all that apply)
a. Demand caseworkers meet with you when convenient for
you.
b. It is important that your relationship with your foster childs
caseworker is an open one and is built on trust and mutual
respect.
c. Give your caseworker gifts frequently.
d. As an advocate, you have the right to be heard in your
role as a foster parent.
2. According to the article, Full Disclosure for Foster Parents,
on page 22, which of the following are among the rights of
foster parents? (Choose all that apply)
a. Involvement in all the agencys crucial decisions regarding
the foster child as team members.
b. Opportunity to be listened to regarding an agency
practice they may question.
c. The right to be heard in court.
d. The opportunity to parent children without involvement
from social services.
3. According to the article, Bedwetting Myths, Facts and
Treatment, on page 36, what can a parent do to help a child
overcome bedwetting issues? (Choose all that apply)
a. Make children clean up after themselves when they wet
the bed.
b. Dont compare your children.
c. Seek professional help when your child shows concern for
the condition.
d. Yell and belittle your child.
F O S T E R I N G
F A M I L I E S
T O D A Y
M A R C H / A P R I L
W W W . F O S T E R I N G F A M I L I E S T O D A Y . C O M
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1-888-924-6736