25 Ways To Win With People

25 WAYS
TO
WIN WITH
PEOPLE
JOHN C.
MAXWELL
And LES PARROTT, PH.D.
CARIBBEAN-BETHANY
A Division of Thomas Nelson, Inc.

The Spanish Division of Thomas Nelson, Inc.
www.caribebetania.com
Dedicated to:
Tom Mullins,
You're like the Pied Piper. When you walk into an office, people want to
follow you. More than anyone I know, you personify the 25 ways to win
people over. you you make those around you feel very valuable until I
feel so close to you!
-JOHN C. MAXWELL
Mike Ingram and Monty Ortman,

Few people could develop a business team, gain respect and achieve more
than you two. Both have a lovely way of relating to people. His generous
spirit and way of investing in others will result in big dividends in the
coming decades. I am a better person for having known.
LES PARROTT
CONTENT
Acknowledgements
" The greatest joy of life" by John C. Maxwell
" I'm better after having met " by Les Parrott
1. Begin with you
2. Practice Rule 30 seconds
3. Let people know you need them
4. Create a keepsake and go to it frequently
5. Praise people in public
6. Give others a reputation to have to keep
7. Say the right words at the right time
8. Encourage dreams of others
9. Give credit to others
10. Give the best of you
11. Share a secret with someone
12. Remove the gold of good intentions
13. Remove your gaze from the mirror
14. Do for others what they cannot do for themselves
15. Hear with Heart
16. Find the key that unlocks the hearts of others

17. Be the first to help
18. Add value to people
19. Remember the stories of the people
20. Share a good story
21. Unconditionally Give
22. Learn the name of your mail
23. Indicate the strengths of the other
24. Write notes of encouragement
25. Help people succeed
A word of conclusion of John
GREATEST JOY OF LIFE

BY JOHN C. MAXWELL
In the spring of 2004, shortly after delivering the final manuscript
publishing How to earn people, they sent copies to some people, as they
do frequently , to receive feedback and promote the book. One person who
received a copy of the manuscript was Les Parrott .You probably know Dr.
Les Parrott by one of his many triumphs : Professor of Psychology Seattle
Pacific University , founder of the Center for Relationship Development ,
recognized speaker level national companies belonging to Fortune 500 ,
author of bestsellers such as high maintenance Relations and Love the life
you live. He has been a guest on CNN, on the evening news for NBC , the
program Oprah and others. Les is a friend . When for the first time was
just a youngster. He was by then about to begin his doctoral studies in
psychology. As soon as I realized how special it was. I knew I would a
person of great influence.
In the summer of 2004 , I received a phone call from them . ' John ,' he
said , ' I loved How to win people over . I think it will help many people to
change their attitudes and to see their relationship with others in a way
entirely. Incidentally , I wrote something to promote it , but I want to give
you an idea. I think you should write a second part . " I had put all my
heart and everything I had learned about the relationships in the book How
to win people over , so I was a little skeptical of that proposition . But I
respect them and I know I always has great ideas, so I started to listen.
" What's the idea? ' I asked.
" I've seen you work with people for years " he said. "When you spend
time with people who do feel like they were worth a million dollars . So
you made me feel me. I assure you if you think I find at least a dozen
specific things that have improved and you could teach others .
" That made me thrill . "And , John, I think you should to call the book
How to make others feel valuable ."
Then he began to list some of the things he thought I should teach in the
book: how to give them others have a reputation to keep , how to treasure
the good intentions , good stories and how to use how to help people
succeed. The more he thought, the more I loved the idea. He had written
How win people to change the common way people interact . Getting to
do what the book suggested take his time, but the book was suggesting
that I could help people learn specific skills that could improve within
days .
" You know ," I said after a pause . " Sounds like a great idea. Why do not
you write the book with me ? "
I was surprised .
"I think we'd make a great team ," added . " You said you've seen me for
years.
You're a psychologist experience, together we could find out what skills to
teach. I teach people how to work with them and you you help to
understand the psychology behind the practice. "
And so it was written 25 ways to win people over . Les and I enjoyed
while we compared notes, we had talked about relationships and
anecdotes. We believe that if you practice the skills taught in this book,
may will transform the way that people who know they see themselves , as
may make them feel that they are very valuable.
I do not think there is a larger than see others flourish , grow and reach
their potential joy. This book will can help be part of this with people you
know .
I am BETTER after meeting you

BY LES PARROTT
Some people have an invisible quality that attracts others to them like a
magnet. These people are not just nice. His charisma defines everything
they do and every encounter they have. Therefore create better equipment,
more respect and achieve greater results. Is it only lucky in life to have
been blessed with personality traits that lead to success without any
effort ?
Not in the least !
This invisible and appealing trait inheritance comes not so much as refine
it. It is a captivating spirit can be taught and learned. For a long time
people have not tried to cultivate these qualities because according to the
false impression which is believed to have or not have . This book will
help to change that misconception . Because here you will find 25 of the
most compelling keys to unlocking this charismatic spirit , a spirit it will
help you succeed with almost all people who cross their path.
WHY WE ARE WRITING THIS BOOK TOGETHER
No one who has ever been in close contact with John Maxwell will be able
to leave without having experienced a change. That happened to me . As a
mentor, John has left a permanent mark on almost every aspect
professional and personal life. Over 20 years ago , before I started my
studies to become clinical psychologist, I took a full week to be with him
in San Diego in order to learn from their wisdom. Sometime later,
encouraged me to write books and I started as a lecturer.
These days , with a dozen books written each time in which we share the
same platform, John is always great admirer . No exaggeration to say that
he believes in me more than I could ever ask for.
I am a better person thanks to John Maxwell is part of life. He taught me

how to get value to light ; how to find purpose and work on what
fascinated me ; how to polish vision and strive to achieve my goals. He
taught me to "see the positive side of failure ' to make each day count and
how to cultivate a positive attitude. The interaction with a person who has
a gift for people who own John can have that kind of impact on you.
Directly and indirectly , John has taught me many valuable lessons about
life . But beyond all this has taught me how to win people . He has a
lovely way of relating to almost all world, is a waiter in a restaurant or the
president of a large corporation.
THE SECRETS OF MAGIC INTERPERSONAL
For several decades , I have studied how John lifts people . And as a friend
, wanted to know how to cultivate interpersonal magic that you have.
Anyone who has spent time with him know what feels good and
confidence. I 'm not talking about the kind of feeling that occurs when
someone gives you a compliment or frivolous disingenuous assertion , nor
a pat on the back manipulative and flattering . I mean the kind of feeling
that is given to know that someone genuinely wants the best for you. He
encourages you because he wants you win.
I have observed to their smallest interactions. Again and again , John
shows an uncanny ability to disarm , entertain and enthrall anyone who
meets him. In other words, has the ability to others feel as valuable as a
million dollars . That's why one day, as already mentioned , we I proposed
the idea to share the secrets of his magnetic personality and so you could
learn to do the he does. When he invited me to write this book together ,
we spent hours watching the things he does so natural. I also talked
extensively with friends and staff. I heard story after story of how he
triumphed with them and added them value to their lives . I include many
of these stories so that you can "see" the practice
in action.
AFFORDABLE
The 25 secrets you'll find explained here have the potential to change your
life. They can help you become the kind of person whose attractive lights
fill the room when you arrive. These skills are easy to learn. There are
only a lucky few that seem to have come with those innate qualities , but
that are available to anyone who seek and are vital for anyone who wants
to win people .
1.START WITH YOU

Your relationships will be as healthy as you are.
- NEIL CLARK WARREN
LES ... ABOUT START WITH YOU
If you want to win people , yourself must be a winner , or at least someone
who is poised to be. Not you can avoid this.
As a psychologist specializing in human relations , I have treated hundreds
of people I have spoken to hundreds of thousands in seminars and have
written over a dozen books on the subject. People who are around you
know I want to help others to win people over . But if there's one thing I
know is that any new technique or tip how to win others will fail if not
start with yourself. Let me be clear . If you try to practice the "forms" to
win people to learn in the following chapters without putting detailed
attention to how you can become it a winner , end disappointed. But if you
first take the time to focus on you, will soon be ready to focus onothers.
YOU HAVE TO START WITH
William James , the first American psychologist said , "Hell which
theology speaks is not worse than hell we do ourselves in this world
usually form our character the wrong way '. If we do not create a winning
character , surely we cannot win others. That's why this first step is so
significant. In fact , there are at least two compelling reasons why winning
over people depends on to start with yourself .
YOU CAN NOT BE HAPPY IF YOU FEEL HEALTHY
Psychology used to think it was crucial to focus on negative emotions
( and then delete them ) . now know there is a better way. A new
generation of researchers has shifted the main analysis of psychology,
instead of focusing on the misery , have chosen to focus on the

understanding of being. New research shows that one cannot be happy just
to avoid depression, stress or anxiety. No. You cannot be happy unless you
feel healthy. And feeling healthy is more than not being sick . Emotional
health is more than the absence of dysfunctional emotions. Emotional
health is at the center how to win people over .
CAN NOT GIVE WHAT NOT HAVE
One of the most known and oldest in the world on Psychology is the truth
that says you cannot give what you do not. In fact , like any other
psychologist in training, when I started education graduated , I had to
undergo psychotherapy. " Les ," said the counselor, " as a psychologist ,
you will carry a person as far as you yourself have gone . " Why? Because
you cannot give what you do have. You can not others to enjoy unless you
enjoy yourself .
Harry Firestone, said : " You can get the best out of others when you give
the best of yourself ." Very true .
But if the best you have is not better than the 'other' already possess can
never take them beyond where they are currently . In short , if you are not
becoming a winner, it will be almost impossible to win others . However, I
want to give good news: His desire and his attempts to win people to help
you be a winner. That's what Charles Warner meant when he said : "No
one can try to sincerely help another without at the same time is helping
himself . "
HOW TO BE A WINNER
Pearl Bailey said : " There is a period in our life when we swallow our
knowledge of us themselves and in doing so , we will know whether it is
good or bitter . " All people have some anxieties and insecurities. If I
asked you to describe a winner, to a healthy and whole person , I would

probably say that this person has confidence in itself is nice , friendly,
stable, giving, etc. . And in a sense , would be right. But being a winner is
more than just having a list of enviable attributes. Being a winner is one
thing its value. Winners are valuable. If not , ask any athlete or Olympic
medalist who has just signed a contract billionaire. But in fact, be a
winner, in the strictest sense of the word , has nothing to do with their
performance , salary or earning potential. It has to do with its value and if
it is appropriate or not his. When you accept your own personal value ,
when you are sure of who is there when you become a winner. Here are
some ways to achieve this:
RECOGNIZE THEIR VALUE .
On more than one occasion, I have told the story of a conference in which
I shared with friend Gary Smalley and where he did something that
captivated the audience . Before an audience of nearly ten thousand
people, Gary held in his hand a fifty dollar bill and asked a question : "
Who wants this bill fifty dollars? " Many raised their hands. "I'm going to
give these dollars fifty to one of you ," he continued, " but first let me do
this ." And He proceeded to crumple the note. Then he asked : " Do you
want someone yet? " The same hands were raised . "Well," he said. " What
if I do this? " He threw it to the ground and crushed it with his shoe. He
bent down , picked it up and lifted , all dirty and wrinkled. "Now does
anyone still wants it? " Yet many hands were raised . "You have learned a
valuable lesson," he said. "No matter what I do with the ticket , you still
want because they have not been devalued . Still worth fifty dollars. "
Simple Illustration of Gary emphasizes a profound truth . Many times in
our lives we crumple , fall and we get dirty with the decisions we make
and the circumstances we face. We may not feel value , insignificant in our
eyes and in the eyes of others. But no matter what has happened or what
happen after our value as human beings is never lost. Nothing can take
away that value. Not never forget .
ACCEPT YOUR VALUE .
How many times have you heard people say, " Something's wrong with
him ?" What they mean is that this person is not moving . That is not a
healthy person . That something stopped and is not comfortable with
herself . It's what psychologists call a person who has no self-acceptance .
Let's face it , everyone on this planet suffer from insecurities and things
we wish to change about us thereof. But there are certain things we cannot
change . Some of our things are exactly So ours. Maybe you were not born
with the look you would like , or perhaps is not as high as I would like .
Their genes shuffled the cards and you touched something eventually had
to accept either that or you reject personal value and , if so , their lives
trying to compensate for their insecurities is passed. It has become a
captive of his desire to have been different. The term comes from the Latin
ad acceptance capere and means ' take for oneself '. In other words,
inherent in the process of accepting others is the act of receiving
acceptance of yourself. I say again : You never people will win unless he
becomes a winner.
INCREASE IN VALUE.
You may already recognizes and accepts its value. Maybe he knows within
himself , in his soul, God loves you and considers invaluable .
Congratulations ! The next step is to increase your value to others solving
many of their problems as you possibly can . In other words, who needs to
maximize is , winning or repairing those things that are within their ability
to change. You may fight , for example, with a strong temperament. You
may have difficulty in setting limits or accept responsibility ; may have
bad habits or perhaps your attitude needs an overhaul. We all have
obstacles we can overcome. 45% of Americans say they would change a

bad habit if pudieran.1 Truth is that it can change. We can all improve
when we decided to do it. In his book Teaching the Elephant to Dance
( Teaching an elephant to dance ), James Belasco tells how coaches strung
young elephants with heavy chains that are tied to stakes in the ground.
That way , the elephant learns to stay in one place . The oldest and most
powerful elephants were trained that way ever try to run away, even when
they have the strength to start the stake and go. her conditioning limits
their movement. With just a metal ring on one of his legs stay in place,
even though neither even has stakes; It's a story that you may have heard
before , but like the mighty elephants , many people are bound by a prior
conditioning . And chain around the leg of the elephant keeps it move,
some people impose unnecessary limits on your personal progress. Do not
let this happen to you . No absurdly accept limitations to stop their skills .
Challenge them and keep growing.
BELIEVE IN VALUE .
Once you have recognized its value , accept and increase it finally got to
believe in it. you have I believe with such conviction that is willing to
depend on him . Chuck Wepner never learned this lesson. As a boxer ,
nicknamed ' bloody Bayonne won By suffering the punishment even if
he won. In the boxing world said it was "a born hall '; ie a fighter who
often uses his head to block the blows of the opponent. Wepner
continually pressed his opponent until he won or what noqueaban . He
never cared how much punishment he had to absorb before giving the final
blow. Coach Al Braverman said, " It's the most audacious fighter I have
ever met . it making his own game, he did not mind the pain. If ever there
was cut or hit with the elbow, never noticed me or the referee for help. He
was a fighter in every sense of the word. " When Wepner knocked out
Terry Henke in the eleventh assault in Salt Lake City, boxing promoter
Don King offered a bout against then heavyweight champion George

Foreman. But when Ali beat Foreman, Wepner was given that now have to
fight " big " Muhammad Ali. The day of the fight , Wepner you gave his
wife a pink negligee and told him that " he would soon be sleeping with
the heavyweight champion of the world. "
Ali won by technical knockout nineteen seconds before the fight ended .
But there was a moment , a glorious ninth time in the assault when a blow
to the chest of Ali made the champion fell to the canvas. Wepner recalls: "
When Ali was on the ground , remember telling trainer Al Braverman : "
Al, starts the car, we go to the bank , we are already millionaires . " And Al
said, " Better turn around because it is rising . '" After the fight , Wepner 's
wife pulled the negligee from her purse and asked, " Am I going to Ali's
room or he comes mine? " The story would just be a comment to a page,
except for one thing . A writer who passed through trouble at that time , I
was watching the fight and suddenly the idea came to his mind: " That is ,"
he said. " So I I went home and started writing. I wrote for three days
straight . " That's how writer and actor Sylvester Stallone described the
birth of the Oscar -winning film Rocky James Lipton on Inside the Actor's
Studio. A movie studio offered the struggling writer the unprecedented
amount of $ 400,000 for his script , but Stallone refused money, choosing
instead to only $ 20,000 and the right to make the character of Rocky with
minimum wage of an actor, a paltry $ 340 per week. The study also made
an offer to Wepner as the film would be based on his life. He was offered a
commission of $ 70,000 or 1% of the net profits of the film 1 James
Patterson and Peter Kim , The Day America Told the Truth (The day
America told the truth ) (East Rutherford, NJ : Prentice Hall Press, the .
Wishing to have a guaranteed payment , Wepner opted for the $ 70,000; a
decision that ultimately cost him $ 8,000,000 . Chuck Wepner currently
live in Bayonne and works as a clerk in a liquor store. The same happens
when you sold poorly . If you think you have something valuable to offer
to another person - yourself- will never win people . What you are is the
greatest value it has. While recognize this value , accept it , increase it and
make it with absolute conviction , ways to win over people described in
this book may become part of his character. And when it comes from the
heart , works great.
A MOMENT WITH JOHN ... TEACHING
MAXWELL STYLE
If I could meet him in person , one of the first things I say is that I believe
in you. Expected to find it difficult to accept because they do not even
know . But I know this : All people have value and some value offer. One
of my missions in life is to see that value to others, helping them to
discover and encourage them to reach potential. You can become a winner
and help others do the same. It is for that reason that I want to be your
teacher. Maybe I can not join you in person, but I have written this Les
book because I want to help . In the following chapters , I will devote a
few pages to what I call a moment teaching so we can show you
specifically how to make people feel one million dollars. It's way to help
you win people . And when we're done , I want to suggest that seek out a
mentor who can look in the face , a winner who can add value and take
you through many additional life lessons .
LES ... recap

Each of the chapters in this book concludes with a segment wrap . It is
designed to help put the " top winner " of this chapter into practice. This
little sketch has served me well , so it happened to you. To apply this
lesson to your own life ...
Forget :Anything that makes you feel insecure.

ask yourself: How I can increase value to benefit me and others?
Do this :Make a list of things you can improve yourself ( bad habits to
break , etc. . ) With specific steps that will help you achieve those
improvements .
Remember:Your relationships will be as healthy as you are.
2.PRACTICE RULE 30 SECONDS

One who hopes to do much good at once , will never do anything .
- SAMUEL JOHNSON
LES ... NOTING PRACTICE IN ACTION
One of the most valuable lessons about winning people I learned from
John is the rule of 30 seconds: Say something encouraging to a person in
the first 30 seconds of a conversation. John is an expert in that. While I
was at a meeting in one of his companies recently John entered the room
and within minutes said something encouraging to each person who was at
the meeting .
" David , I knew I was excellently well in the conference call this morning
."
" Larry , you're making me look good with that advice in Denver. Thank
you. "
" Kevin , I just saw the numbers for April . No one else in the world can
see and take opportunities the way you do. '
" Les, I am delighted that you made the trip to come and be with us today .
I know it will add a value tremendous to our conversation . "
From the beginning, John was genuinely encouraged each of us , and did
so subtly and almost effortlessly. As I was trying to learn more about the
ways of John to win people over then of the meeting I asked her to tell me
what he had done. That's where I first heard the term " Rule 30 seconds '.
" I learned this from father ," she said . " Many years ago, he was president
of a university and often walked together for the university campus.
Continually stopped to say encouraging things to students. When I felt
tempted to claim, looking at the students and I realized that father had
deposited good words in them .
"People never forget that kind of encouragement ," he continued .
"Yesterday I spoke to your father for me and he excitedly He told of the
many graduate students who continue to visit in Florida. No surprise that
stops people travel many miles to see him, but not me . Rule 30 seconds
that father had practiced with all them every day was returning to him and
how. "
" I've seen you do this for years," I said to John , " but I never knew it was
something that you learned from your father'.
"I have learned many lessons from father, he is an amazing leader," John
replied. " I practice this rule always with any person I know . Look,
someone once told me , " Be nice . Every person you meet is fighting
strong a battle . " People need a kind word , an encouraging compliment
and strengthen their hopes their dreams. Do not cost much , but really lifts
people . "
JOHN ... A MOMENT WITH TEACHING STYLE MAXWELL
When people come together , looking for ways to look good in front of
others . The key to Rule 30 second is to reverse this practice. When you
make contact with others , instead of focusing on himself, concerned that
they look good. Each day before leaving for a meeting , I stop to think of
something that can encourage these people. It I say may be one of many
things to thank you for something you have done for me or a friend ; tell
them about some of his accomplishments ; praise them for a personal
quality that exhibit , or simply give them a compliment
their appearance. The practice is not complicated but it takes time , effort
and discipline. The rewards of practicing is immense, because it really
makes a positive impact on people . If you want to encourage others

through the practice of the rule of 30 seconds, then keep these things
the next time you meet with other people :
RULE 30 SECONDS DA PEOPLE FIRST CLASS TREATMENT
"A gossip is one who talks about others is a boring one who speaks of
himself and chatty Bright is one who talks to you about yourself . "
- William King
All people feel better and perform better when given attention ,
affirmation and appreciation . the next time you make contact with
people , start giving them their full attention during the first 30 seconds.
Make them feel good by showing your appreciation in some way. Then
watch what happens. You'll be surprised positivism see how they react.
And if you have trouble remembering to focus on them instead of you,
then perhaps to help the words of William King . He said: "A gossip is one
who talks about other people, boring is one who speaks of himself and a
brilliant conversationalist is one who talks to you about you '.
RULE 30 SECONDS GIVES POWER TO THE PEOPLE
The psychologist Henry H. Goddard conducted a study on the energy
levels of children using an instrument called " erggrafo Your results are
fascinating. He discovered that when the kids were tired and were given
words of encouragement, the erggrafo showed an increase of energy in
them . When they are criticized or discouraged , erggrafo showed that the
physical energy waned . You may have discovered this intuitively. When
someone encourages you , right up your energy level ? And when
criticized is not that comment makes it decay ? Words have great power.
What kind of environment you think you could create if you continually
encouraged people when you his first contact with them? Not only
stimulate , but you become a transmitter of energy. Each time you enter
somewhere brighten people ! You would be a participant in creating the
kind of environment that Everyone loves . His presence would happily on
people .
RULE 30 SECONDS INFUSE MOTIVATION
Vince Lombardi , the famous coach of the football team the Green Bay
Packers, was dreaded by thediscipline applied . But he was also a great
motivator. One day he ate a live player who had failed make several
blocks. After practice , he entered the locker room and saw the player
sitting next to his locker. His head was bowed and looked very
discouraged. Lombardi ruffled hair , gave a pat on the shoulder and said, "
One of these days you will become the best defense in the NFL ." That
player was Jerry Kramer. And Kramer says he kept that positive self image
for the rest of his career. "The encouragement that gave me Lombardi had
a tremendous impact on life." In time , he became a member both the Hall
of Fame Green Bay Packers as the " Team of All Time " in the NFL. We
all need motivation from time to time . Use the 30 seconds rule encourages
people to they are and give the best of themselves . Never underestimate
the power of motivation :
Motivation helps people who know what they should do ...to do it!
Motivation helps people who know what commitment should take to ... I
assume !
Motivation helps people who know what habit should stop ...to leave it !
Motivation helps people to know what path should take ...to take it
Motivation makes it possible to achieve what should be achieved .
One of the greatest side benefits of the 30 second rule is that it also helps
you . You can not help others without at the same time is not helping
himself . Benjamin Franklin was given account of this principle and use it
to help others. In a letter to John Paul Jones, said: "From now on, if you
see occasion to give his officers and friends a little more praise than it
should be , and confesses that he committed more fouls than you think you
should recognize that alone , will soon become a great captain . Criticizing
and censuring almost everyone with whom it relates , be reduced
friendships, increase his enemies and harm their plans . " Who increase
our value , bring us closer to them. Those who make us feel less than we
are, make we move away from them. If you want others to feel good about
themselves and feel like every time you see it , then practice Rule 30
seconds.
Remember this: Those who increase our value , bring us closer to them.
Who do wefeel less than who we are , do we get away from them.
LES ... recap

For decades , social psychologists have studied the ' first impressions '. If
you want to make an impression lasting and positive , we now know what
works and what does not. And the rule of 30 seconds of John is one of the
most effective means to succeed in this area. In terms of research , this is
what is called ' effect primacy ' and its initial impact is impressive for the
way others feel connected to you.1
To apply the teaching of John to his own life ...
Forget : Looking for ways to try to look good. Instead , look for ways to
make others look good . ask yourself: What positive and encouraging
thing could tell every person you see today?
Do this : Give each person the first class treatment you are : attention ,
affirmation and appreciation .
Remember: Say something encouraging in the first 30 seconds of a
conversation.
3.Let them know YOU PEOPLE NEED THE

The greatest compliment I ever received was when someone asked me to
review and put attention response.
- Henry David Thoreau
One day I asked John the secret to getting people to join a team and he
told me the answer a simple sentence : " I cannot do it without you " and
continued that great leaders face when they believe people need them
instead of recognizing that it is the opposite. "Leaders can become great '
me John said , "only if they realize they are the ones who need to rest."
As he talked , he pulled a laminated card from his desk drawer and told me
several years had developed a tool for help of people. " I wrote this in
1974. Had a big project on my hands and needed to raise over a million
dollars. There was the first time that I realized how far it was to be a leader
. " It was then that I realized that if I wanted to achieve something big , I
had to turn our dream sleep . Write that sentence thinking use in an
upcoming conference. I also realized that any dream I could achieved
without the help of other people would be a little dream . " John showed
me a laminated card . This was what he said : I have a dream History tells
us that each time has been a time when leaders must make decisions . that
reason , there is a potential leader who does not have an opportunity to
improve humanity . Individuals who surround also have the same
privilege. Fortunately, I believe that God has surrounded me with those
who accepted the challenge of the moment.
My dream allows me ...

Disclaimer at any time at all to accept that I am all I can be.
Intuit invisible so you can perform the impossible.
Rely on God's resources because the dream is bigger than all my skills
and my knowledge .
Continue but is discouraged because without faith in the future , there is
power in the present .
Attract winners and the big dreams attract big people .
Seeing people and myself in the future. Our dream is the promise of
what one day will be.
Yes , I have a dream. It's bigger than any of my talents. It is as big as the
world, but originates one. Want to join me?
- John Maxwell
" Les ," she said , " I have given hundreds of these cards and have seen
time and again how people come together to help me achieve sleep for one
reason : they do need to know that . "
MAXWELL STYLE
The day I realized I could not do it all by myself was a big step in
development as a person and leader . I've always had vision, a lot of ideas
and energy. But when vision becomes larger than one, there is only two
options: abandon the vision or seek help. I chose the latter. When vision
becomes larger than one, there are only two options : abandon the vision
or seek help. No matter the successes you have achieved or how
important, what you really need is people . That's why you have to let
them know we could not succeed without them. President Woodrow

Wilson said, " Not only should use all the brains we have, but we should
borrow all we can . " And why only the brains ? Hire the hands and hearts
of people too! Another president , Lyndon Johnson was right when he
said : "There is no problem we cannot solve together , and very few that
we can solve alone . " Asking for help is a good way to make others feel
valuable . Why?
PEOPLE WANT TO FEEL THAT YOU NEED
Have you ever been arrested someone asking directions? Lower the car
window and tells a passerby : " Can you tell how to get to market Larry? "
Almost every time , people stop doing what is doing to help even if it
means crossing the street or stopping traffic. Some even repeated the
address to make sure that you have understood . Why? Because when
someone feels they know something you do not know, that encourages the
ego. We all want to be experts , even for a moment. The help gives us a
great feeling of superiority and achievement, which translates into a
greater sense of self-esteem. And it all stems from the idea universal that
someone needs us.
PEOPLE NEED TO KNOW THAT PEOPLE NEED
The magnate and philanthropist Andrew Carnegie said : "It is a big step in
your development when you accept that other people can help you do a
better job than I could do alone. " Sadly, many never reach that level of
maturity or perspective. They still want to believe they can achieve
greatness for themselves. The destiny of every individual is tied to many
others. We cannot be like that sitting in castaway Lifeboat aside and do
nothing while the other , across work hard to avoid sinking , and says:
"Thank God that the hole is not in hand ! " All people need and if we do
not, then yes we are in trouble.
PEOPLE NEED TO KNOW THAT IS NEEDED

Cartoonist Charles Schultz often captured the desires of the human heart
in his comic strip Charlie Brown. He understood the needs of people . In
one of his creations , Lucy asks Charlie Brown help you do your
homework. "I 'll thank you forever " she promises . " Sounds good. I've
never had anyone be eternally grateful to me , " answered Charlie. "Only
you have to subtract October 4 to find out how many apples are left to the
farmer . " Lucy says, " Is that all ? I have to be eternally grateful just for
that? I've been robbed ! I can not be eternally grateful for so little, it was
very easy ! " With a look of dismay , Charlie replied , "Well , then give me
what you think is right ." " What if you just say thanks ? " Says Lucy .
Charlie is going and the way he meets Linus who asks : " Where have you
been , Charlie Brown? " " Helping Lucy to do your homework ." "And
you thanked ? " "Yes , but at a greatly reduced price ." If you've ever felt
like Charlie Brown, you know you are not alone. Every human being
wants to have a life sense . We all want to know that we need and what we
offer to others is of value.
PEOPLE NEED TO KNOW THAT HAS HELPED
Good leaders make people feel essential part of things, not just a
supplement .
- Warren Bennis
Every time someone tells me how valuable computer people , I encourage
you to go and tell them. Why? Because they need to know that they have
helped someone . " Good leaders make people feel part essence of things ,
not just a supplement ' Warren Bennis , author and leadership expert says .
" Everyone feels that make a difference in the success of the organization.
When that happens, people feel part of it and that
makes the work meaningful . " Walter Shipley Citibank says: "We have
68,000 employees. With a company of this magnitude , I do not got it
business ... My job is to create an environment that allows people to
support each other beyond its own abilities ... I receive credit for providing
the leadership that got us there, but it was the people who has fact ' .
Shipley understands what every successful leader knows that people need
to know that they were an important part in the result obtained . It is not a
sign of weakness to others to let them know we value them . It is a sign of
security and strength . When you are honest with the need to ask for help
when it is specific about the value they add the others to the cause and
when it is inclusive with them to form a team that will do something more
than what one is , all win.
LES ... recap

Long since research has shown that when people feel needed , are more
likely to be productive and creative. In fact , studies in twins with similar
IQs show that each acts differently depending on the environment where
you are, let's say one is in a supportive environment (where known to be
appreciated and that you will need ) and the other in the opposite
environment. The person who feels appreciate your support acts better.1
Forget : A cavalier attitude to do so have to prove how capable you are
without the help of others.
ask yourself: Who could help me specifically to do a better job than I do
alone? Who is waiting who asks to join work ?
Do this : Seek advice or help from others sincerely and watch what they
say .
Remember: Those who earn people make these characters feel , not just a
supplement .
4.CREATE A MEMORY AND IT WILL OFTEN

Memory is the treasury and guardian of all things.
- Cicero
The people who devote quality time with John knows he will be a good
memory. It's inevitable. Has special ability to create memories ; It 's one of
those things that make people earn . John also enjoys when others create a
memory for him. One day when we were talking about creating
memories , artfully told me this story : He had to make a presentation to
about three thousand young in Phoenix. Going up to the platform, he
realized who I had invited had something different in mind. " He did not
wanted me to give a lecture , "he explained . Those young people who had
read his books and listened to his tapes audio for several years, he had
prepared a surprise . Instead of asking him to speak to them , what [p 28]
who made tell them he was , so they asked her to sit and simply listen.
One after another, 12 leaders preselected audience went up to the platform
to tell others how the teachings of John had made an impact on their lives.
"It was totally unexpected ," she said . "And not just flooded me with kind
words , but each one he gave me a memory, something tangible of what
they learned from me. I was floored by that experience. " One gave him a
beautiful painting with two images: one of a child reading one of the
books of John and the other from child and adult training others . " Les "
John said with tears in his eyes and trembling voice : "Do you know how
many times I remembered that day. I keep the memories to revive them in
office . That experience meant so much to me. And renewed desire to
create memories for others. "

MAXWELL STYLE
There are not many things that can unite people as does a shared memory .
The soldiers who fight together, the teams that win a championship and
the teams that achieve their goals share a connection you never forget .
Married couples who are experiencing difficult times often look back to
ancient experiences that help them move forward. Families who join when
they are going through difficulties camps or to share your holiday
adventures in later years enjoyed remembering those moments spent
together . Although many memories can be created in an active way ,
some are the result of circumstances. The author Lewis Carrol , referring
to the latter, said : "It's the kind of memory that only works with look back
'. What that mean to us ? That the most precious memories are usually
those we plan and created intentionally . Here are some ideas to create
memories that will help win people :
INITIATIVE . MAKE SOMETHING HAPPEN
The memories were not looking for us; we have to look for them. Better
yet if we intentionally we can create memories. If you mention the word
coach Dan Friend and Patti and Tim Reiland or Pam Elmore, can tell you
exactly what they think . They think of an autumn day in the city of New
York when we did something that still makes us laugh. After eating , I
rented three ' carriages ' drawn drivers about cycling . We made a run from
Manhattan to Macy's. Each couple had to see how motivated his driver to
win ( could use any financial incentive ) . The race was closely contested
throughout the way and we laughed a lot . I still laugh when we think or
look at the photos we took that day but never have happened if we had not
started.
TIME: INVEST IN TIME TO MAKE SOMETHING HAPPEN

For years parents have debated the issue of quality time versus quantity
time . as a parent and grandfather , I have discovered that it takes a lot of
time to find quality time . If you no effort , you cannot create a memory.
Have not you noticed that most of the memories you have are with people
who spends of the time? It's what happens to me . If you want to create
memories with your family , spend time with them. If To create memories
with their employees , will not make it behind the door of his office. You
cannot create memories on people if you do not spend time with them.
PLANNING . PLAN FOR SOMETHING HAPPEN
Most people do not run their lives, accepted. Most people do not run their
lives, accepted. Expect memorable experiences happen without taking the
time to plan an experience that will be a memory. One of the most bizarre
memories I 've planned it was with Margaret , wife . It was our twentyfifth anniversary . We decided to share it with thirty of our closest friends,
it hired a yacht and collected in the bay of San Diego. A Once on board ,
we had a delicious meal and then we surprised inviting Frankie Valens to
sing some of his songs such as " Sixteen Candles " ( Sixteen Candles ) .
Our friends were delighted, but the time Most memorable was when
Margaret and I said a few words about each of the guests and which
occupied a special place in our hearts . That night was a great memory for
Margaret and me, but It was also a great souvenir for those who attended .
CREATIVITY . FIND A WAY TO MAKE SOMETHING HAPPEN
What do you do when you are at an event where he hoped to have a
memory to share but nothing seems to happen ? Be creative . I have been
asked many times you tell the story about a championship bowling I went
to see in San Diego fifteen years ago. The game was so boring that I ended
by buying newspapers the section so that had something to do. Another
guy who was next , not wanting to be outdone, bought one hundred bags
of peanuts and distributed throughout the section . The two received a
standing ovation and soon journalists they focused more on us in the game
. I do not remember who won, but never forget that night . I know you will
not either friends who were with me.
SHARED EXPERIENCES . ACHIEVE SOMETHING HAPPEN TO
JOINTLY
Memories are shared if experience with someone you love. Memories are
shared if experience with someone you love. Several years ago our family
went on vacation Jasper Park in Canada. As we I were there , I took my
children , Elizabeth and Joel Porter, a fish. When we returned to the cabin,
Margaret phoned to say we were on the way and she asked how we had
gone . " We caught eight trout ," he said Joel , appearing calm even though
I knew he was proud . On the road We were saying how great it would be
trout dinner we had fish . When we arrived, we trout to the kitchen but we
are surprised to see four pieces of meat ready to be cooked. "What is this?
" Joel asked his mother. "We caught eight trout ! And we want dinner
trout. " Margaret began to laugh . " I thought they had just caught a trout ,
so I went to buy steaks ." I started laughing and Elizabeth . Finally , Joel
said , "Mommy is not very good with numbers, right?
This happened when our children were eleven and thirteen . Now, every
time we make a meal outdoors my kids remember the story of the trout .
To date, married and with children of their own , still enjoy say , "Mommy
is not very good with numbers " and that makes us laugh.
MEMORIES . SHOW SOMETHING HAPPENED
John McCrone says: "Almost everything you do today you'll have
forgotten in a few weeks . the ability remembering decreases exponentially
unless it is driven by artificial aids such as diaries and photographs . " Is
not it true? Do you keep photographs or souvenir on your desk where you
can see ? Does in your wallet photos of people she loves? Do you have a
trophy , a plaque, a ball or other award on a shelf where others can see it?
We all have things we love, not for their material value but for the
memories that we bring . When you help someone else will create a
memory , you must give that person something you can revive him.
RELIVE THE MEMORY . TALK ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED
The most important part is to create a memory revive . It is the reward!
Many times when traveling with other at the end of our trip I ask them to
share one of his favorite memories . Often this leads to great conversations
. Or I write a note to someone where I share favorite memory itself. This
forms a connection that unites us and makes us feel great.
LES ... recap
There is no person on this earth who does not understand the value of
positive memories . These can sustain people during the most difficult
times and inspire during the good times . Moreover, anyone can create a
memory and go to it often !
Forget : Try to have quality time to form a memory if you are not willing
to invest the amount of time required . ask yourself: What memories I
have created with people who wish to relive together?
Do this : Plan an experience that will commemorate an achievement or a
triumph of what people will talk in the future. And do not forget to create
an object of it.
Remember: We should not expect the memories come to us . We have to
make those memories happen.
5.PRAISE TO PERSONS IN PUBLIC
Admonish your friends in secret, praise them in public.

- Publilius Syrus
Praising others in public is the personal brand of John Maxwell. He is
known for doing this around the world , so when I asked them to some
people in your company to tell me how John does this, it did not cost me
much receive answers . Rather, I had to decide what to choose among
many . Many of the stories contained feelings similar to those I heard from
Charlie Wetzel, who has worked with John and his books for more than a
decade : For almost twenty years, John has written and recorded lessons
on leadership , which has been used to teach tens of thousands of people
every month ; first with the club and now INJOY Life through Maximum
Impact . 1995 , gave a lesson was designed to teach leaders how to find
people with great potential and creating an environment where they
flourish and emerge as leaders in all of the law. In this lesson called "
Looking eagles . " Often , John recorded these lessons during his lectures
to corporations and other organizations around country . However, this
time the school was for their own church personnel and some employees
INJOY , your company leadership development . It was his way of
continually develop their people so that could grow and learn.
That day I sat with the audience and wrote down the ten characteristics of
an eagle :
1. They make things happen.

2 . Come and take advantage of opportunities.
3 . Influencing the opinions and actions of others.
4. Dan value to people .
5. Winners attracted towards them.
6. Eagles They train others so they can handle.
7. Provide ideas to help the organization.
8. Possess a peculiarly great attitude.
9. Was maintained up to their commitments and responsibilities.
10. Show total loyalty to an organization and the leader.
It was an instructive and inspiring message. When he concluded the
lesson, mentioned some of the eagles had found in his life over the years .
And then said, "But I want to conclude this lesson by telling them about
another eagle that has recently entered the organization . His name is
Charlie Wetzel . He has worked with us for very little time , but it makes
things happen. " John kept saying how I made the connection of their own
initiative in a national magazine editor made that An article was accepted
and Maxwell were to be read by more than 3 million subscribers. John
then many said very flattering things about me to the extent that made me
mourn . He has always said positive about me in front of wife and my
parents things , but this time was speaking all church staff and the
president of your company , not to mention the thousands of people who
would listen post them on tape. It was amazing . Before that time , I never
myself as a 'Eagle' . To date, still playing heart every time I think about it.
It's been a decade since John did that praise Charlie ; however, its impact
has not diminished. That It is the power of praising people face to face.

MAXWELL STYLE
The most direct and fundamental way to win people 's praise them with a
positive , sincere and meaningful word. If you want to make others feel
valuable , perfect this basic fitness. It is essential to learn to give their
compliments in front of others as individually. Why? Because that praise
in private when becomes public, and dramatically increases its
instantaneous value. Here are some reasons why it is so important:
VALUABLE FEEL PEOPLE WANT IN LIFE
Mary Kay Ash said , " Everyone has an invisible ad hanging neck that says
:"Make me feel important " " She taught his sales team. He said again and
again : " Never forget this message when working with people. " She
knew that the praise and affirmation were crucial for success with others.
A eulogy in private when it is made public , its instantaneous value and
increases dramatically And by the way , that's just one of the reasons that
made winning . In 1963 , five thousand dollars in savings and the help of
his 20 year old son , Mary Kay cosmetics launched . The company
currently has over 500,000 advisors Independent Beauty in 29 markets
around the world . Mary Kay Inc. is listed as one of the 100 work best for
U.S. companies. Mary Kay , like all people who earn people knew that
people want to feel valuable . And when you keep that thought in your
mind , the praise will come to him easily .
PRAISE WHEN VALUE INCREASE IN VALUE TO THE PERSON

THAT DA
Willard Scott , former weatherman of NBC 's Today Show, recalls his days
of radio when received Best letter from a fan : Dear Mr. Scott : I think you
are the best developer of discs in Washington. Putting the best music and
has the most beautiful voice I have heard on the radio. Please excuse the
crayon . Here let us not use anything sharp . Not all are equal praise . We
value a compliment depending on who gives it . A good comment of
someone who would not allow sharp objects do not have the same weight
as a eulogy given by your boss in front of people you respect .
CONFIRMING THE PEOPLE PRAISE AND STRENGTHEN
Ratify means affirming . An endorsement is a statement of truth that you
claim in the heart of the person when expressed. As a result , it generates a
conviction. For example, when you praise the attitude of a person , the is
strengthening and making more consistent. Since you noticed in a positive
way , that person is likely to show the same attitude again. Similarly, when
ratified the dreams of people , is helping to make the dreams become more
real than your doubts. Like repeating a weightlifting regimen , routine
praise builds the qualities of the people and strengthens their personalities.
Encouragement is the oxygen of the soul. "There are special moments in
everyone's lives ," wrote George Matthew Adams, " and most of them
come by the praise that someone else has done to us. No matter how big ,
famous or winning the person, all wish applause. Encouragement is the
oxygen of the soul. You cannot expect a good job of a worker without
breath. No one can live without it. "
PRAISE IN PUBLIC ARE MORE EFFECTIVE THAT MAY GIVE

As commander of a warship worth a billion dollars and a crew of 310
people , Mike Abrashoff used a critical leadership to increase retention
rates of 28% to 100% , reduce expenses operating and improving the
provision. How did he do ? Among other things , gave great importance to

public acclaim . "The captain of a ship is authorized to give 15 medals a
year ," he wrote . "Since I was to blame excess , I gave 115 '. Almost
always a seaman left the ship to meet another assignment , Captain
Abrashoff gave him a medal. "Even if they had not been to the top , he
gave a medal at a ceremony public as long as they had made the maximum
effort every day. Delivered a short speech saying how much we
appreciated their camaraderie , friendship and hard work . " Sometimes
peers of him that was had funny anecdotes , recalling their difficulties and
triumphs. But basically , what I wanted was Abrashoff it felt good to be
praised in front of the entire crew . "There is a negative effect on this
symbolic gesture ," said Abrashoff , " if done honestly and without fuss '.
Captain Michael Abrashoff knew how to make their marine feel like a
million dollars. You can do the same with the people around you .
Whenever you have the opportunity to publicly commend another person ,
please do so . Of course , you can create these opportunities , as did
Captain Abrashoff , but can also find countless opportunities if only the
searches .
LES ... recap

Think about the last time someone praised him in the presence of people
who mattered to you. How did you feel ? There are few things that can
encourage someone as much as it does a sincere compliment .

Forget : Give praise only in private. Instead , have them in public as much
as possible.
ask yourself: Who I can praise in front of others ?
Do this : Praise someone in front of other people today.
Remember: When you give someone a compliment in public, you are
giving wings of an eagle.
6. GIVE THEM A REPUTATION TO OTHERS HAVE TO KEEP

Treat a man as it seems and it worse. But treat it as if it were already
potentially could become, and make it what it should be .
- Goethe

A few years ago , John and Margaret went to London with his friends Dan
and Patti Reiland , Tim and Pam and Andy Elmore Steimer . While there,
each person had their favorite place to visit . Tim was the cabin and lounge
war Winston Churchill and his advisers used during World War II. John
told me about his experience there. It was an awesome place : it was just a
basement about four meters under a building that had a living room with a
large map and a table, a quarter of communications and some other small
rooms where people could rest. But what had happened there during the
war yes it was awesome . It was from there that Churchill planned his
strategy and led the British people. As we talked , I could sense that John
loves history. He spoke of Churchill - one of his heroes leadership - and
how he encouraged millions of his countrymen after the British defeat in
the June 1940 Battle of Dunkirk . I quoted part of the speech that
Churchill addressed the House of Commons on that occasion:
Desfalleceremos or fail ... No fight in France , we shall fight on the seas
and oceans , we shall fight with confidence and strength increase : it will
use the air , we shall defend our island at any cost ; will fight on beaches,
in open fields , in the streets , in the hills ; we shall never surrender ... 1 "
Churchill made many remarkable things during the war" continued telling
John , "but one of the biggest was its ability to give the English a
reputation to be maintained. Inspired , motivated , challenged . And
therefore, they said . That's why he was so appreciated. " John has tried to
express this quality . He tells me that whenever you interact with other
people, you are wondering constantly : What is special , unique and
wonderful this guy? Once it has learned , share it with others. I've seen
him do this over and over again . For example , when referring to Linda
Eggers, his assistant, says : " She is always very good." A John Hull,
president of EQUIP , calls it : "The Mr. relationships. " He tells everyone
that Nowery Kirk , President of ISS , is " the best friend of a pastor '.
Kevin Small , INJOY president , calls it "The goals achieved " and when
talking about Doug Carter , Vice President EQUIP , says that " he never
misses an opportunity to [p 45 ] EQUIP tell the story ." John always thinks
well of people and whenever you can , talk about the great qualities you
see in them.
MAXWELL STYLE
One of the best ways to inspire others and make them feel good is by
showing them what they could become. Several years ago , an
administrator of the New York Yankees wanted new players to realize the
great privilege it was to play on that team . I used to tell them : " Boys , it's
an honor to get the striped shirt New York. So when the dress , play like
world champions . Play like the Yankees . play with pride. " When you
give someone a reputation to keep , you are giving that person a goal that
has to reach ; something that is beyond what it is now . When he speaks to
their potential, helping them to " Play with pride ," as do the Yankees.
Why is it so important? Because people will go further than they thought
if they respect someone who tells them that they can achieve. If you want
to give others a reputation to be maintained , here are some suggestions of
how to get started :
HAVE A HIGH OPINION OF PEOPLE

Say you have the impact of people deeply. Dr. J. Sterling Livingston ,
former member of the Harvard Business School and founder of Sterling
Institute, a management consulting firm , observed : "People will act
accordingly to the way they perceive you expected to act ." Reputation is
something that many people spend a lifetime trying to validate ; then, why
not help them instead of denigrate ? All people have value and potential.
Those are things that can be found in everyone if one makes an effort to
find them.
BACK- ACTION WITH HAVING GOOD OPINION OF OTHERS
When you support what you believe about a person through actions ,
doubt she has of herself will begin to dissipate. One thing is to tell your
teen that thinks he's a good driver and another to pass the car keys to come
out at night. Likewise , if you want a new manager achieves expressed
high regard for him, then give it an important responsibility. There is
nothing that gives the more confident people see someone they respect
you risk for them. Not only do they strengthen emotionally , but that will
be a resource in your path to success .
LEAVE THE PAST BEHIND AND GIVE THEM A NEW REPUTATION
FOR THE FUTURE
Negative names in the past , nicknames or labels can stop the development
and progress of a person. Maybe that's why , in many cultures, rites of
passage from one stage of life include give a name or title to the person
who is being honored . A new name gives a hope for future again. A good
example of this can be seen in Man of La Mancha , a play and film based
Classic Cervantes, Don Quixote . The protagonist, Don Alonso, wants to
become a knight errant but cross time has passed. Go where others see
giant windmills and adventures where others see only see trails of rabbits.
Comically , " rescues " a prostitute named Aldonza , whom he sees as a
beautiful lady. The flame Dulcinea and becomes the object of his feats of
knight. At first it is offended , create that you are making fun of her
because Aldonza is actually hates herself and her life. But over time , the
perspective that he has it replaces its own and gives hope. At the end of the
play , when the old lies dying in his bed , thank you for seeing her she
could not see herself. Of course, the most dramatic examples of how
someone forgets the past of others and gives them a new reputation for the
future is found in the Bible . In the book of Genesis , God changes
Abram's life , a man old and childless , to give it a new name : Abraham ,
meaning " father of many " 2 And he does father their old age. And then
Jacob takes a liar who deceives his brother, his father and lies constantly
uses deception to get ahead ; and given a new name : Israel. Your future
will become the home of the nation Israel.3
GIVE THEM A NAME FOR PEOPLE SPEAK OF NEW POTENTIAL
Harry Hopman , one of the best tennis coaches and captains in the history
of Australia and Hall of Fame International Tennis , achieved at a time to
form a team that came to dominate the tennis world . How did?
Emphasizing what he called " Coaching with affirmation ." For example ,
had a slow player who would gave the name "rocket" . At another , it was
not known for his physical strength or constitution, called " muscles '. And
that 's encouraged so that before long, the ' Rocket ' Rod Laver and Ken "
Muscles " Rosewall became world champions . I love to put names to
people talk about their potential and their greatest strengths. Of Indeed, in
family know me for that. To my own children , Elizabeth and Joel Porter ,
I call 'the apple of my eye "and " Number one son " respectively. To my
nieces Rachael and Jennifer the call " Angel " and " Sweet Pea ". My
grandchildren Madeline , Hannah , John Porter and Ella are ' Sun Shine ', '
Hanna Banana ', ' JP ' and ' Peanuts ' respectively. Every time a child is
born in our family, others want to know what name you 'll put . It is a
tradition we love them all. Why? Because we all love that feeling of mood
that occurs because someone notice us and we talk about our potential.
LES ... recap

Sometimes I met with leaders who believe they should not lift their ego
people through a reputation I still have not won . In such cases, I always
point them to " rule of ten years." The rule of ten years is one that
indicates that it took at least ten years of dedicated practice and consistent
before that large obtain some level of recognizable brand. Research also
shows that the process can be advanced dramatically when individuals
begin to see the samples that are already beginning to achieve that
reputation.
Forget : Failures of a person in the past and focus on their future potential
ask yourself: What is special , unique and wonderful this guy? How I can
show your qualities to others ?
Do this : Support the high esteem in which a person has by actions that
reinforce that view.
Remember: Many people go further than they thought they could get
because someone else thought they could and the said.
7.SAY THE RIGHT WORDS AT THE RIGHT TIME

There is no man so high and so strong that two or three words can not
discourage prosperity ; but is there any calamity that the right words will
not begin to dissolve .
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Ask anyone who knows John and I will sometime when he said the right
words in the right time. One of the most shocking stories I heard while
working on this book, I told it Dan Reiland , a close friend of John and his
former right hand. " John has done this many times in life ," she said .
"But While most impressed me was when mother died . " His death was
sudden and unexpected . Dan told him to John , who was out of town at
the time. Quickly, John , and Margaret changed his plans and returned to
San Diego. Dan recalls, " came home in Rancho San Diego, were over to
me , hugged me and said : "We love you " . That was it. Nobody could
have done better . " Then John spoke wisely with brother Dan , Len , and
gave encouragement greatly to his sister , Jean. Although it has been
almost ten years, I could see that Dan I was still shocked by the attitude of
John . " John led a beautiful funeral service ," Dan recalled . "I gave his
sermon notes which I keep and appreciation. I appreciate all that John did
during that time ; however, there is nothing like those two words spoken at
the very moment they entered home. " Sometimes , people who do not
know John personally surprised to see how good it is to say the right
words at the right time. People are used to seeing him as a speaker , which
excellently done . But what they do not realize is that John is also
encouraging that enjoys a genuine helping people and really understand
them either above or below the platform . I remember hearing John while
some administrators was going and spoke to them about the importance
our words and of when we say. He said ...
inadequate those words at the wrong time discouraged me .
inadequate those words at the right time frustrate me .
Suitable at the wrong time these words confuse me .
Suitable those words at the right time encourage me .

I am aware that this is true in regard to life. Do not you ? The right words
at the right time are like a refreshing breeze of mind.
MAXWELL STYLE
Most people recognize that words have incredible power. The theologian
and editor Tyron Edwards said : " Words can be better or worse than
thoughts ; they express them and even add them things ; give them power
for good or evil ; carry them in an eternal flight instruction ,
encouragement and blessing or wound sorrow and ruin. " But to say the
right words is not enough. The time to say them is also crucial. Sometimes
the best we can do for someone is to stay silent. When tempted to give a
advice that has not been asked to show off, to say " I told you so ', or point
out an error in another person, it is best not say anything. As the 19th
century British journalist George Sala advised , we must strive "not only
to say the right thing at the right time , but something more difficult : A
Bad not say a tempting moment. " When it's time to talk , ask yourself:
How can I encourage others to use the words appropriate at the right
time ? Consider these tips:
Be SENSITIVE TIME AND PLACE

It is said that during one of the biggest offensives of World War II ,
General Dwight Eisenhower walking near the Rhine River when he met a
soldier who looked depressed. "How you feeling, son? " He asked .
"General," replied the young man , "I 'm terribly nervous ." "Well,"
Eisenhower said, " then we make a good pair , because I also feel
nervous . Maybe if we walk a while, it will do us good . "
" Apples of gold in settings of silver is a word spoken should ."

- King Solomon
The first step to say the right thing at the right time is to pay attention to
context. That is one of the secrets of successful communication to a large
audience , and so is when talking to people individually. King Solomon of
ancient Israel was telling the truth when he wrote : " apples of gold in
settings of silver is a word spoken should be "1 If you can learn to be
sensitive to the environment in which it is, and has won half the battle to
say the right words at the right time .
TELL HEART
Not only does it say when or what he says but how he says it. In one of the
cartoons of Charlie Brown, Lucy tells the child pianist Schroeder " ? do
you think I am the most beautiful girl in the world" Of course , she have to
ask the question several times and in different ways , until Schroeder, get
rid of it says : "Yes." Lucy is depressed and says bitterly : "Even when I
said , really did not say ." People know the difference between hollow
words and leaving the heart . Don Bennett, a man of Idaho businesses ,
was the first person with one leg amputated to climb to the summit of
Mount Rainier. Am talking about 14,410 feet ( over 4,391 meters),with
one leg and two crutches ! During part especially
difficult climbing , Bennett and his team had to cross a field of ice. To go
through the ice, climbers had to put hooks in the boot for traction .
Unfortunately , one boot no It was very helpful to Bennett. The only way I
could cross the ice field was dropping to the ground, propel forward as I
could, stand up and then dropped again. Kathy Bennett 's teenage daughter
who accompanied him on the ascent , stood by him during the four hours
it took to cross . He remained constantly giving encouragement : "You can
do it Dad! You're the best dad world ! You can do it ! " Two words of his
daughter, said heart , helped him continue.
RECOGNIZE THE POWER OF THE RIGHT WORDS AT THE RIGHT
TIME
To say the right words at the right time can do more than just encourage
the person who received at that time. You can make a positive and lasting
impact . The painter Benjamin West as a boy that loved to paint . When
her mother went out , he sought materials and set to work . One day, while
he was painting , he spilled the paint and left the house a mess. Fearing
that his mother returned and was found with that disorder , tried to clean
up as best he could, but only half succeeded . When his mother arrived ,
Benjamin was prepared for the worst. But his mother , without a word ,
took the box that had tried to do , looked at his son and said, "Wow , what
a beautiful painting of your sister! " He kissed her on the cheek and
walked away. With that kiss , West says, he became a painter. I do not
know what kind of experience have you had as a kid. Perhaps, like me ,
had parents who understood the power of the mind. If not , what would
have been because someone had spoken at the right time : a parent , a
teacher, a coach or a pastor? What whether or not received at the time, you
can give now . Look for opportunities to encourage others with your
words. They might change their lives.
LES ... recap

Numerous studies confirm the fact that when they say the right words at
the right time , is generated a number of positive results. One of the most
important is trust. When you offer something to a person in need - even if
it is a stranger is very likely that you will become a person reliable people
perceive him as someone honorable. Surely see him as someone who

considered and can confiar.3 Do not encouraged to know that?
To apply these lessons to their own lives ....
Forget : Of meaning and focus on what the other person needs to hear.
Inquire What I'd like to hear if you were in the place of someone else? do
it Make someone's day is different . Or perhaps , all his life, saying the
right words at the right time and do it from the heart.
Remember " Apples of gold in settings of silver is a word spoken
should ."
8. ENCOURAGE THE DREAMS OF OTHERS

Stay away from those who try to belittle your ambitions. The little people
always do that , but really great make you feel like you too can become
great .
-MARK TWAIN
When I started talking to the office staff of John , one of the things I
discovered was that he receives dozens of letters each week thanking him
for the positive changes they have experienced through their books,
seminars and lessons on CDs . I asked Sue Caldwell to let me see some of
these letters . I brought a thick file containing some that she had shared
with staff. Passing the pages , I noticed how many times people would
write about their hopes and their dreams again lit .Two letters sticking as
related to things that happened at a conference for youth leaders Christians
in which John was involved . The first , written by Kevin said : Thank you
! Without being too dramatic, I cannot begin without telling you how
much value added to life in recent six years. I was one of the 5500
prospects of leaders who attended ' Catalyst ' ... While last week you told
us , I felt like God answered prayer ... You said, " I wish you to believe in
itself as I believe in you. " That's the first time I've heard that from
someone of his generation. I hear that filled a lot of energy . The second
was written by Matt and said : In recent months he had discouraged me a
lot and I had made the idea of the dream (which I had before tried to
reach) was dying . I attended " Catalyst 2003". Unexpectedly, God moved
in my heart and
said his plan was still in effect. When you prayed for us during the
session , I could not help but mourn . His words came straight from God's
heart to mine. I will never forget that moment . Thanks for impact life .
Matt went on to say that he had renewed his dream and persevere during
this preparation period. Speaking with employees and partners John , I
realized that he has repeatedly encouraged his dreams , even if it means
losing someone that appreciates . Often when Tim Elmore was pastor staff
John in San Diego for over 10 years has been recruited by another
organization , goes to John and asks that ' remove the hat pattern and put
the mentor " to ask your advice . Tim says John behaves remarkably
objective and repeatedly encouraged him , saying, 'May it be a good
change for you. I do not want you repent for not trying . I think you should
go. " On one such trip , Tim finally went after accepting a job as vice
president of an organization to outside the church in Colorado. John kept
encouraging him the entire time. Tim really wanted to conduct their
dreams and reach their potential.
A MOMENT WITH JOHN TEACHING
MAXWELL STYLE
I consider it a great privilege to me when people share their dreams. That
shows me his appreciation and trust. When such a thing happens, I am
aware that I have a great power in their lives. That is not insignificant
because inadequate word can destroy the dream of a person ; however, a
suitable word can inspire that person to continue trying to make your
dream a reality. If someone considers you important enough to share with
your dreams , put attention and remember this while encouraging that
person :
UNDERSTAND THAT DREAMS ARE FRAGILE

Dreams are , by definition , doomed to short life spans .
- Candice Bergen
Actress Candice Bergen said : "Dreams are , by definition , doomed to
short life spans ." suspect she said that because there are people who do
not want to see others pursuing their dreams. It reminds them what far are
they of his own dreams . So try to overthrow anyone who is shooting at

Stars. To discourage others, people who criticize themselves excuse to stay
in their comfort zones. Do not be a murderer of dreams rather become an
generator dreams. Even if you think that the dream of another is very
difficult to achieve , that is no excuse for the discouraged.
LEAVE A DREAM IS A GREAT LOSS
"Death is not the greatest loss there . The greatest loss is what dies inside
us while we are alive. "
- Norman Cousins
Have you left any of your dreams ? Have you buried a hope that was once
bright and filled energy ? If so , what caused that to you ? Norman
Cousins, former editor of Saturday Review and professor associate
professor of psychiatry at UCLA, used to say : "Death is not the greatest
loss there . More loss great is what dies inside us while we live . " Our
dreams keep us alive . Once, Benjamin Franklin said, " Most men die from
the neck up when they arrive at twenty-five because they stop dreaming. "
That is why it is so important that you keep alive the dream of others.
Doing so will literally helping them to live and at the same time, will be
feeding their souls.
ENCOURAGE OTHERS TO GO AFTER THEM YOUR DREAMS IS A

WONDERFUL GIFT
Since dreams are the center of the soul , we must do everything possible to
make these dreams come true . That's one of the best gifts you can give.
How? Follow these six steps:
1. Ask them to share their dream. We all have a dream, but a few are asked
to tell you.
2. Ratify the person as much as his dream. Let her know you value your
sleep not only but also sees features in it that will help you achieve it.
3. Ask them what challenges they have to overcome to make your dream
come true . Few ask others about their dreams ; let alone questions about
the obstacles they have to overcome to achieve them.
4. Offer to help . No one can fulfill a dream worth alone . You will be
amazed to see how people are full of vitality when offering their help .
5. Hold your interest in the dreams of others . If you want to help others
fulfill their dreams , do not convert your participation in something one
day. Ask them how they are doing and support them as you can.
6. Take a daily determination to be a generator of dreams, not sink them.
We all have dreams and all need encouragement. Synchronize your mental
radar to be aware of the dreams of others and help in the process of
achieving them.
PEOPLE KEEP YOUR DREAMS ARE MADE ONCE
Scott Adams , creator of the Dilbert comic strip , tells the story of his
beginnings as a caricaturist : You do not have to be a 'person of influence'
to influence . In fact , people who have had more influence on life does
not even know the things I've learned from them. When I was trying to
become a cartoonist professional portfolio of work sent to several
publishers . I was rejected again and again . One of them even called me to
tell me I should take art classes. I kept trying until Sara Gillespie, an editor
at United Media and an expert in her area , offered me a contract . At first I
did not believe him . I asked if he wanted to change style , to work with a
partner or to learn to draw. However, she thought I was sufficiently good
to be a cartoonist whose work is published nationally. His confidence in
me made to change altered perspective and what he thought of my
abilities. This may sound strange, but from the moment that I hung up, I
started to draw better . You can see a marked improvement in the quality
of the cartoons I've drawn from that conversation. The editor Sara
Gillespie gave Adams a chance to fulfill his dream , but as many as had
discouraged him they felt unable to accept the offer . However, thanks to
the encouragement of Mrs. Gillespie and the opportunity you gave, Dilbert
is now one of the most popular comic strips in the United States. We do
not know what would happen if I started to encourage the dreams of those
around her . When your life is closing, would not you like to be the person
to whom others refer to as "I triumphed thanks to that person believed in
me when nobody else did ? " Begin to encourage others . The more you
do, the more people will share their dreams and opportunities to see those
dreams will blossom.
LES ... recap

Should be afraid to encourage the dreams of others thinking that people
would just walk in the clouds let me tell you that studies show that this
practice does more than just directing the individual to seek a positive in
the future . Actually it does engage more with its present activities .
Technically speaking , a This is called " resonance performance model ',

but no matter what you call it , there is nothing wrong with encouraging
the dreams of others.
To apply the teachings of John in his own life ...
Forget: To criticize someone else's dream . Rather, they identify with their
vision and desire to achieve .
Inquire: Who I can encourage today to fulfill their dreams ?
Do it: Offer help to make sure the person is closer to fulfilling his dream.
Remember: When a person is sharing his dream with you , is
compartindole something in the center of his soul.
9. GIVE THEM THE MERIT TO OTHERS

If we had to confess what is the greatest desire of people , what inspires
their plans and actions, would say : " wanting to be praised "
-E . M. Cioran

One of my favorite topics of conversation with John is the publishing
industry. We have discussed this issue for almost two decades. Ideas for
books, titles , marketing campaigns , editorials, shelf space in bookstores,
agents , etc. . We talked about almost every conceivable aspect of this
industry. And since John has been one of the most successful authors in
the area of leadership selling over nine million copies have always been
interested in learning from your experience in publications. Some time ago
, John and I shared the platform at a conference in Virginia and between
sessions asked I speak of a special moment in his career as an author. "
Wow , that's hard ," she said , "I have been blessed in ways that I never
imagined ." " Surely there must be something" I pressed gently . "Well ,
when the book The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership sold a million
copies , Thomas Nelson, the publishing house that published it gave a
banquet for 120 people in your company and INJOY to celebrate the
occasion . I got some beautiful gifts , including this. " John the sleeves of
his shirt stretched and showed me the cufflinks bringing gold . Each wore
the number 21. " That night was amazing ." Shortly thereafter, I spoke
with some of the people who attended the banquet. Kevin Small ,
President of INJOY , told me that when John got up to speak , thanked and
quickly began to attribute credit to the people who had made this success
possible. He talked about how Victor Oliver had presented the original
concept of
book and title. He recognized a group of key leaders INJOY who helped
him hone those laws. He thanked Charlie Wetzel, its writer , for his ability
to write the book. Ron thanked Lana Thomas Nelson, Kevin Small of
INJOY and his team for organizing the tour that made the book were to be
listed on the New York Times of Bestsellers . He thanked the editor Mike
Hita, the sales team of Nelson, marketing personnel , distributors and
many others , including their parents. Kevin told me that when John had
finished, there were tears in the eyes of all the guests. Making a book is
successful and gets into the hands of those who need it will always be a
team effort , even when not all authors see it that way . Everyone involved
in the process have a role to John met and made every effort to give credit
and recognize the contribution of each one of those people .
I will never forget that night in Orlando. When I wrote that book in 1979 ,
I never dreamed that anything I wrote would sell a million copies . That
night as we returned to the hotel, Margaret asked me what was the best
banquet . Without thinking twice I said that was when I could give credit
to the people who helped me both . We rarely have the opportunity to
thank enough the people who help us , especially in public places. I
wanted to take advantage of that time. Not only makes us feel good to
share a triumph , but also encourages others . And makes you feel like a
million dollars. Give credit to others is one of the easiest ways to win
people over . If you want to practice , they are here some suggestions that
can help you get started:
LEAVE YOUR EGO AT THE DOOR
The number one reason why people do not give credit to others is because
they think that somehow they can lose yours. Many people are so insecure
that they have to be constantly feeding his ego to feel compensated . But
you can not practice this method of making people if the ego does not
allow a side . " A selfish is not thinking much of it , but someone who
thinks very little in others" Have you ever heard the saying : " A selfish is
not someone who thinks a lot about it, but someone who thinks little in
others " ? If you want to give credit to others , focus on them. What do you
need ? How feel when they give them the credit ? How does performance
improve ? How to motivate reach their potential? If you highlight the

contributions that they have made it , it'll make them look good and you .
NO WAIT . GIVE THE MERIT AS SOON AS POSSIBLE
I love what H. Ross Perot once said when talking about giving merit : "
Reward your employees sweat while they are still seen in the eyebrows. "
Is not it true that the best time to recognize the merit of the other is when
the amount of work and sacrifice made is still fresh in their minds ? Why
wait ? You've probably heard the teaching management expert Ken
Blanchard about nabbing people while they are doing something good.
What a great idea! The faster you give the credit to someone else, the
greater the reward. In 2003 , when I interviewed John Wooden, basketball
coach at UCLA told me that their Players often say that when they write
down , the player who gave the pass return and give him a smile, a wink or
a sign of appreciation. "And what if it is watching me ? " Asked a player .
Wooden replied, " I assure you that you will be watching ." We all love
that our contribution is recognized.
SAY IT IN PUBLIC
You've read the chapter invites you to praise people in public, but it is
good to remember . When you are gives credit to the other in front of your
circle of friends and loved ones, the value of that praise is multiplied .
Billy Martin , former player and manager of the New York Yankees , said :
" There is nothing better in the world when someone does something good
team and everyone else come together to give you a pat on the back . "
When you give public credit , is helping to create the kind of environment
that Martin describes .
PUT IT IN WRITING
When you give credit to people verbally, they are being encouraged for a
moment. When in writing, it is encouraging for the lifetime. People stand
plates on the walls as a reminder of their achievements. Saved and
treasured letters speak of recognition and appreciation for the things they
did . Deep inside of us , we all want to make a difference and occasionally
need some encouragement . I have a file in office with letters and notes
that have a special meaning for me. Occasionally sack the file and read
some of the things that people I respect have told me. That helps me relive
that moment stimulus . It is said that President Abraham Lincoln used to
carry a newspaper article that talked his accomplishments as president. He
was one of the greatest leaders in the history of the United States, without
But he wanted something to keep it lively. Please do not underestimate the
impact of an article , a public note or staff can achieve. What it takes for
you just a few minutes to write may be something that inspires someone
else for decades.
WHAT WE SAY , SAY HEART
I love this joke: An elderly man lay dying in his bed and his wife was
sitting near him. When he opened his eyes and saw her, he said: " Here
you are Agnes , by side again." " Yes, dear," she replied . " Come to
think ," said the old man , " I remember all the times you've been to side.
You were to side when received the news of recruitment and had to go to
war. Been to side when our first house you burned . When I had the
accident that tore our car. And you were at your side when business went
bankrupt and lost everything. " " Yes, dear ," said his wife. The old man
sighed . " Agnes ," he said, " you have brought me luck ." It may seem
obvious , but I want to say so that not misunderstand . Never say anything
that does not create just to encourage someone . If you are not sincere ,
you will not make people feel good; make them feel cheated . When you
give the credit to others, need to do it from the heart.
LES ... recap

Give credit to coworkers or colleagues is more than a good attitude.
According to studies , when you give credit to others, is changing them
their biochemistry and creating an " emotional impact " that relate the
triumphs they have.

Forget : Your ego. Focus on the people around them and give them the
credit they deserve.
Inquire: Who has made me be more successful than it would have
achieved by myself ?
do it: Give public credit for a great effort as many people as you possibly
can .
Remember : If we were to admit what is our greatest wish , we would say
: " I would like to be praised ."
10. GIVE YOU THE BEST

I do the best I can do , the best that I can do ; and will continue to do so
until the end.
ABRAHAM LINCOLN LES ... NOTING PRACTICE IN ACTION
For many years I have been receiving the tapes with the leadership lessons
that John taught each month. After hearing one of them entitled 'Preparing
the difference between winning and losing , " I had to make a question to
John . " I loved teaching and took some things that have helped me ," he
said, " but I need to ask you a question . Do you really think the
preparation is so important in the life of a person ? " " Absolutely ," he
replied . "This is what really makes the difference between winners and
losers. Preparation is more than a discipline, it is an attitude , a lifestyle .
My father used to quote the Bible verse says : " Whatsoever thy hand finds
to do, do it with thy might ." In other words, what you do or as you have,
offers the best of you. I try to follow this principle in everything I do. " I
have watched John for years and know it's true . Everything he does , he
does with excellence, but it is even more than that. While we were
working on this book , we had a meeting in San Diego. Simultaneously,
John expected news about the birth of their fourth grandchild. When the
meeting ended , he took us to dinner at Peohe's , his restaurant favorite in
San Diego , which has an excellent menu and an even better view. It is
located on the island of Coronado, against the scenic bay area of San
Diego. We stood at the outer section , near the water. Immediately John
and Margaret took the seats looked into the restaurant for everyone else
enjoying ourselves view of the bay. During the meeting at office also had
sea view, John also sat with his back to the window , allowing other
people who came to visit could enjoy the view . And in neither case had
been a coincidence. I know John and I know you think in the details. He
had chosen the worst seat because I wanted to offer us us better .
MAXWELL STYLE
For years I have been invited to be the speaker for various organizations in
their special events. That's something I enjoy. I communicate with an
audience full of energy. It would be easy for me to ' improvise ' or do some
speech made before packaging elsewhere . But not because I do not think
that is correct. Rather, it took time to find out about the company. Find out
as much as possible about the particular event and what they want to
achieve. Why would he do that knowing that I do not need to succeed? I
do it because I have a goal every time I talk . I want the person who
invited me to speak say later: " You exceeded our expectations . " I want to
give the best. Maybe you're from the people who already have that
mentality to give their best . If so , I congratulate you and encourage you
to keep that attitude. But if not, I hope these ideas help him develop that
mindset :
ANYONE CAN BE IMPORTANT TO ME
Most likely give the best of ourselves to those we love and respect .
memory time when school teachers and wanted some aversion felt by
others. I always gave my best teachers and others who wanted to give
them only what is necessary to pass the course . Later I realized that these
attitudes often damaging my relationships with others as potential to
succeed . but then discovered the antidote : If I saw all people as important
, not only I liked them , then You could always give the best of me. This
change of attitude prompted a change in my actions.
WE DO ANYTHING TO BE IMPORTANT
Most times in life will be special if we see them that way. An average day
will be just a average day because we have not made it special. The best
way is to raise an experience best of us . That makes it special. A normal
conversation becomes better when listening with interest. Ratio common
is transformed when you make an effort. An insignificant event becomes
something special when is added creativity. Anything you can do

something important if the person gives their best .
BE IMPORTANT TO YOU ALL
Who are the most important people in your life? Are those who never take
the time , or that never are with you when they need? Of course not.
Generally , people who are important are those that make you feel
important. We instinctively value people who value us . if you want to be
important to others , give them importance . The most effective way is to
give the best of themselves .
GET YOUR GIFTS AND OPPORTUNITIES
"My potential is a gift from God to me. What I do is with potential gift for
Him. " Over 30 years ago memorized a quote that has determined the way
I live , "My potential is a gift God to me. What I do is with potential gift
for Him. " I am responsible to God, to others and to me for every gift,
talent, resources and opportunity to have in life. If you give less than what
I can , I'm evading responsibility. I think the UCLA coach John Wooden
spoke of it when he said , "You make every day a work of art. " If we give
our best all the time , we can make our life something special. And that
will be reflected in the lives of others. There is a story that I love about
President Dwight Eisenhower. Once members headed National Press Club
and said it hurt not have had a better political education to help you be a
best speaker . Their lack of ability in that area reminded him of his
childhood in Kansas , where an old farmer was trying to sell a cow. The
buyer asked about the pedigree of the cow, cream production and
production monthly milk . The farmer replied, " I do not know what their
pedigree and have no idea of the production cream but it is a good cow
and give you all the milk you have . " That's all we can do, give all we
have. That's always enough.
LES ... recap

A lot of recent psychological research has focused on the value of the
virtues . And experts are finding that when people strive to achieve a
degree of excellence in character traits by example, when you strive to
have a generous spirit , usually benefit while in the process to benefit
others . This cultivar is called ' satisfaction ' .1 No need for a research
study to know that when you give the best of themselves , automatically
feel satisfied.
Forget : From just do the minimum to pass it Apply to do your best .
Inquire: What can I do for someone who I can not return the favor ?
do it: Voluntarily give more than is required.
Remember: We all appreciate a person who gives his best .
11. SHARE A SECRET WITH SOMEONE

Do not hide your secret to your friend or will lose their due.
PORTUGUESE - Proverb
In 1996 John took a very important decision that concerned his company
and for a while only a few would said . Charlie Wetzel was one of them .
This is what Charlie said about what that meant to him and his relationship
John : One day , John asked me to come to your home office for us to
work in the book that we were getting in those days . It was a very
productive session work and when we had finished, John said, " Charlie ,
before I want you to go talk to you about something. " When an employee
hears these words of his boss, pays attention immediately . Sometimes
words that follow include phrases like " tough economy ", " poor
performance " or "You're fired ! " John continued: " In about a year , will
move the company out of San Diego. We will not still promote it to all
staff but I'm telling people executive team - inner circle - so they can start
processing the information. We 're moving to Atlanta. " Then I said to be
traveling outside of San Diego was affecting him not only to him but to
the other consultants working for the company. When asked his assistant ,
Linda Eggers , who calculated how many days he had taken during the
previous year in connection flight from San Diego to Dallas , Chicago or
Atlanta , Linda returned with an amount that left him speechless :Thirty
days ! John was there that he realized he had to do something. I had to
begin to process all that information. Then John said, " Charlie , I hope
you come with us'. John only talked to me for a few minutes , but what he
told me changed lifetime. He had nearly two years of working with him
and we'd already written five or six books together. I had worked hard and
he I had always been very generous with your praise , but had no idea that
I valued so much. Once I shared that secret place in your esteem, career
and even changed my own eyes. John has done many wonderful things for
family and me through the years. It is very generous and many these
things have cost time and money. Share your secret about the move cost
him nothing ; however, caused a great impact on me. It made me feel like
a million dollars. It is not a secret, how powerful it can be to share

something with someone else. It is a surefire way to make people .
JOHN ... A MOMENT WITH TEACHING
MAXWELL STYLE
A Sicilian proverb: "Only the spoon knows what is stirring in the pot ."
When it allows another person know what is going on inside you, when
you give a " savored " a plan or idea , instantaneously we are ensuring a
meaningful connection with that person. Who does not want to know what
is going through the mind of someone that you appreciate ? Reading the
story of Charlie Wetzel may think you have done to share a secret with
someone always has to be something with ramifications that will change
your life ; but it is not always so. Of course, when allows people to know
something shocking , that creates an impression. But you can share a
secret part of their daily lives using everyday things . The first time you
share something with others Are they not sharing something that has been
a secret until then ? Why not tell the person He is speaking this is the first
time you are revealing that? That will make you feel special. Share a
secret with someone is really a matter of two things : knowing the context
of a situation and desired edify the other person. If you do, you can learn
this skill. While you try, keep in mind three things:
1. SHARING
INFORMATION
SECRET
MEANS
GIVING
VALUABLE
When you share a secret information that must be the person you are
talking to is interested listening . Make it part of your interest or fill a need
that they possess . For example , two experienced seafishermen decided
one day to go ice fishing . Both made holes in the ice , put baits on hooks ,
released the ropes and waited. After three hours, they had not taken
anything. While they were sitting there , they saw a child reach also made
a hole between them. He put a bait your hook , dropped the rope in the
water and in a moment took a fish. The child repeated the process and
little time had taken more than a dozen fish. The other two fishermen
looked amazed. Finally , one of the men approached him and said, "
Young man, have been here for over three hours and no We have caught
nothing . And you, in minutes , has at least a dozen fish . What is your
secret? " The boy mumbled an answer, but the man did not understand .
Then he saw the child's left cheek had a bulge . "Please," he asked , could
you will get you the gum of the mouth, so that you can understand what
you say ?
The child made a cup with his hands, he had spat in his mouth and said,
" It's not gum ; is secret. one has to keep the hot bait. "
2. SHARING A SECRET THAT MAKES PEOPLE FEEL SPECIAL
Them know something other people always raises their egos . Charlie 's
comment says it all: "I did not idea valued me so much. Once he told me
that secret place in your esteem, career and even in my own eyes changed .
" But as I said, the secret does not have to be dramatic to have an effect
positive . For example , when I play golf , I usually bring with me a
laminated card that contains some advice he gave me the professional
player Scott Szymoniak . Sometimes , if a friend of the band is not playing
well , I call it aside and say, "I want to share you a secret that has helped
me in the game ." I draw card and show the six basic things that a golfer
must learn and perform . I also say it's personal plan for play golf and do
not share it with everyone . How do you feel when you know it's the first
one who is told something ? It makes me feel special. That's one of the
reasons why wife Margaret and I have practiced telling us rather than any
other person many things that have happened to us on the day. How do I
do ? I always carry a small notebook with me where I write the things I
want to tell . Anything I write, the "file" to tell it to her first . That gives us
special moments each day .
3. SHARING A SECRET MAKE OTHERS FEEL INCLUDED IN YOUR
EXPERIENCE
The main thing to share a secret with others is that doing so is creating an
act of inclusion. The main thing to share a secret with others is that doing
so is creating an act of inclusion. It is a form to invite people into your life,
your experience. Includes them in his triumph. When I speak to an
audience is a panel of executives or stadium full of people - intentionally
use inclusive language . Permi my listeners to enter into personal
experience. And when I'm revealing something I have not said previously
in public , I do know that I am. That action communicates to people how
much I care and that desire to help them.
LES ... recap

A study says that when people makes them "partakers of a secret " many
positive attributes come to relate to their lives. For example , it is much
more likely to feel that their jobs fill their ambitions. Wanting to be more
active in public service . Have patterns more lasting friendships and

marriages happier. Researchers call this " mental mechanism of adaptation
' .Whatever the terminology used, the result of sharing secrets with others
is more than just imparting information. You are increasing the odds for a
closer relationship .
To apply the teachings of John to your life ...
Forget :To hoard information just for you .
Inquire : Who else could benefit compartindole private information ?
do it : Find someone to share with you a secret today.
Remember: Share a secret with someone makes this individual 's selfesteem rises.
12. REMOVE THE GOLD OF GOOD INTENTIONS

To err is human ; to forgive is not company policy .
- ANONYMOUS

Is it hard to give someone the benefit of the doubt? Removing the 'gold' of
their good intentions? Happens to me . Especially when I know that I have
failed or when they have tried to cause me harm. But if you're like I also
know that this trend can be a costly mistake if you want to interpersonal
win people . So when I confessed to John this defect , he immediately
identified with what I said , but I said he had learned to give people the
benefit of the doubt learned it from his mother. "My mother knew me very
well and always evaluated based on conduct that " he explained . "Today ,
when I tell someone: "I did not mean to do that " often wish they could "
extract gold from my good intentions " as mother did. Their ability and
willingness to do this in life was a great gift and has helped me give the
benefit of the doubt to others. " " You mean your mom ignored all your
mistakes ? ' I asked . John smiled. " No, definitely not. I too like they
rebuked all children . And I tell you what I deserved ! However, mother
rushed me in its conclusions . She never assumed the worst , rather,
always assumed the best. And there is the key to cultivating this quality . "
He continued : "His attitude brought me many benefits. It allowed me to
get closer to her and feel it more accessible. Made to give the best of me
and taught me how to do this with others. " "Okay " as he thought of his
words , I asked , " Do not you think that a person who was raised under
that model will have difficulty doing that ? " " I think not ," he replied .
"Of course a person who did not have a positive home life will not do that
so natural, but in fact, give a person the benefit of the doubt is a choice. I
have seen many people who grew up with disadvantages and still managed
to win in every sense of the word. " It is encouraging to hear that.
MAXWELL STYLE
Let's be honest . Not everyone has good intentions. If you are extracting
the gold from the good intentions probably you will meet people who want
to take advantage of you . To me it has happened to me and follow me
happening. But because now I assume the best of people , many have done
wonderful things for me , so many you can not even count them. I 've
noticed that when I suspect someone , that makes me have a wrong
attitude toward that person . And , of course , that makes interaction with it
is even worse. In general , you get what you expect from others. So I
decided to take the less complicated way , expect the best and be blessed
most of the time. If you want to have the same experience as me, then , do
this:
THINK WELL OF PERSONS
The first thing you need to do is analyze your attitude. How to watch
others ? Do you think that people want be good ? What they want to give
their best ? That matters , because if you do not think well of others, never
believe that his intentions are good. And if you do not believe in your
intentions , I imagine that will not strive to "extract" the gold in them .
LOOK AT THINGS FROM THE PERSPECTIVE OF PERSONS
This matter of perspective really has to do with maturity. Think of these
two scouts Inexperienced whose younger brother had fallen into a lake.
Ran to his house, where his mother was . And one of sobbing told them : "
We tried to give mouth-to- mouth, but he insisted on standing and
running ." Without maturity , no perspective. The more immature a person
is, the more difficult it will be to see things from another point of view .
Think of the biblical story of the woman who was caught in adultery and
how Jesus challenged the people so that they would not have sin throw the
first stone. Older people in the crowd were first drop the stones and walk
away. Why? Because maturity gave them a better perspective. " As is our
tendency to see ourselves in the light of our intentions, which are invisible
others , "said the philosopher J. G. Bennet , " and see others in the light of
their actions, which are visible to us, then we have a situation where the
misunderstanding and injustice are the order of the day. " And that is This
is precisely the ability to see things from another perspective is essential to
extract gold from the good intentions of others .
PERSONS GRANTED TO THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT
Surely when you were a child, you were taught the Golden Rule : " Do
unto others what you want them do unto you . " Often when my intentions
were good but not my actions , I wanted the other I saw the light of the
golden rule . In other words, wanted others to give me the benefit of the
doubt. So why not use that same courtesy to others?
"Knowing that anything we do has the seal of perfection and nothing that
we no longer have the brand a limited and fallible humanity , the only
thing that saves us is forgiveness . "
- David Augsburger
Frank Clark said : " What great things would be if everyone did what he
intended to do ." Although I am agree with that , I would add : " What
beautiful relationships if everyone would be appreciated intended to do
so , despite what they may have done. " When you give someone the
benefit of doubt, is the most effective interpersonal following rule ever
written .
REMEMBER THEM GOOD AND NOT EVIL

We all have good days and bad days. You do not know what you think but
I would like to be remembered by good morning. And I can only apologize
for the bad days . Professor Fuller Theological Seminary , David
Augsburger says, " Knowing that anything we do has the seal of perfection
and nothing that we ceases to be the mark of a limited and fallible
humanity , the only thing that saves us is forgiveness . " If you want to
extract gold from the good intentions of others, then forgiveness is
essential. And hardly be one thing time . The civil rights leader Martin
Luther King, Jr. was right when he said, " Forgiveness is not an occasional
act , it is a permanent attitude. "
" Forgiveness is not an occasional act , it is a permanent attitude."
-Martin Luther King, Jr.
And remember, the attitude with which you judge others is the one that
will also be judged. If you remove the gold good intentions in their
relationships with others , then it is more likely that people will do the
same with you .
LES ... recap

If you grew up in an environment where I always assumed the worst of
you rather than the best, take heart. Research He performed on children ,
who were studied for over 30 years , found that adults with caring and
exceptional often emerged from a difficult childhood . What was it that
made the difference ? Two qualities stood out :
( 1) found a good relationship at some time in their lives , a mentor or
other kind of model, and
(2) were willing to help other people.
Forget : Justice and focus on grace and forgiveness.
ask yourself: How would I feel and what I would do if I were in the place
of that person?
Do this : Practice the golden rule to assess the intentions of others , not
just what they do; treat them in the same way that I would like them to
treat you.
Remember: If I cannot think well of others , I cannot force myself to
"extract" the gold that is on them.
13. REMOVE YOUR LOOKING MIRROR
I do not know what your destiny will be , but one thing I do know : the
only ones among you who will be really happy are those who have sought
and found how to serve.
ALBERT SCHWEITZER LES ... NOTING PRACTICE IN ACTION
Shortly after John moved his company from San Diego , California to
Atlanta , Georgia, in 1997 , he hired researcher George Barna to come to
Atlanta and develop a strategic plan with the executive team . Barna He is
director of the Barna Group , a company of marketing studies located in
Ventura , California. this company has extensive experience analyzing
cultural trends and collecting information about the Christian church.
Leaders and thinkers John companies gathered in the conference room for
an eight- session hours where they could ask whatever they wanted Barna
and get a plan of business strategies marketing for the coming years . It
was not long for all it involve them in the conversation and began absorb
the thoughts of Barna . He answered every question . Discussing concepts
and strategies and then Barna expressing their ideas and hear your
opinion . Linda Eggers, John 's assistant for many years, during the session
noted that John listened intently but rarely did a comment . Seemed happy
just by listening . At the end of the day, when she and John were sat down
to talk about the agenda , correspondence, travel arrangements and things
like that , Linda noticed that John had a sheet full of questions for George
Barna who ignored him . Linda was surprised , especially since she was
the one who had arranged to hire services Barna and John knew what he
had paid for that advice. So I said: " John , all spoke , except you. Why did
not you any of your questions ? " "You know , Linda? " John said . "
Everyone was very excited to meet George and infused them that much
energy, which did not want to ruin the moment . No matter if you have not
done my questions , maybe next time . " Linda says that's one of the
reasons why she loves working with John . "I know that because he that
looks stunning and has great charisma in front of an audience are people
who think it is arrogant. Do not know how others think and how to give
them priority . " If you focus on others, strives to give them what they
need, then removed his gaze from the mirror and that is a wonderful way
to win over people .
MAXWELL STYLE
One of the key questions in the book How do I win [p 93 ] is the
connection people factor : Are we willing to focus on others ? The
fundamental concept of this question lies in the principle of perspective,
which says: "All the world's population , with one small exception , is
composed of other beings human '. If you have never seen life like that,
then it's time you try. If people think that they are the center of the
universe , not only will take a big disappointment when they realize that is
not true, but it also insulated from those around him. I have not met
anyone who can win others who have not mastered the ability to stop
looking in the mirror and serve others with dignity. Most people admit that
altruism is a positive quality and even the most self-centered individual
has the desire within himself to help others . Sometimes the problem is to
change our behavior to acquire habit of focusing on others instead of us.
Here are some thoughts that will help to stop looking in the mirror :
FOCUS ON YOU GIVE OTHERS A SENSE OF PURPOSE
If you grew up in the United States during the fifties and sixties, then you
might remember Danny Thomas , the host of Make Room for Daddy
( Make room for Daddy) . At one point, Thomas said : " We were all born
with a purpose, but not all discovered . Success in life has nothing to do
with what get in life or you achieve for yourself , but what you do for
others. " Thomas believed not only that, but it lived. As a successful
entertainer and TV star , he could have devoted enjoying the benefits of
their achievements. But he wanted more . He founded the St. Jude
hospital, a research center which deals with care of children suffering from
the most terrible diseases in the world. And he devoted much of his life to
hold economically that hospital. That helped him enjoy a purpose much
greater .
FOCUS ON OTHERS CAN YOU GIVE POWER
Continually focus only on you can actually leave it without power ; others
focus on produce the opposite effect. My friend, Bill McCartney knew this
and used it when he was the head coach of the Buffaloes University of
Colorado. Mac had heard that most people spend 86 % of their time think
of themselves and only 14 % thinking of others . But he instinctively knew
that if his players pegged their attention to someone who appreciated
rather than themselves, a new source of energy would be available. In
1991, when they had to face a challenge , decided to use this information.
Colorado had to play against super rival , the Nebraska Cornhuskers in
Nebraska Territory . The problem was that there was Colorado won a
game there for 23 years, but coach McCartney trusted his team and sought
a way to inspire them to win. In the end, decided to appeal to the love they
had for each other. He told his players to call any person to whom they
loved and told him they were going to spend that game. And being asked
to observe every play because every attack, every block and every point
would be dedicated to it. Mac took yet another step. He had sixty balls
were distributed with the final score of the game written on them, so that
each player could send one to the person to whom he had dedicated the
game. The Colorado Buffaloes won . The final score was written in the 2712 balls .
FOCUS ON OTHERS CAN GIVE YOU A FEELING OF COMPLIANCE
Psychological research shows that people [p 95 ] are better balanced and

tend to be satisfied if they serve others. Serving others brings cultivates
health and happiness. People have known this instinctively for centuries,
long before the science of psychology was formally developed.
For example , note the wisdom ( and humor ) found in this Chinese
proverb :
If you want happiness for an hour , take a nap .
If you want happiness for a day, go fishing .
If you want happiness for a month , get married.
If you want happiness for a year, inherit a fortune.
If you want happiness for a lifetime, help others .
You can help if it helps others. Remember that and will help you take your
eyes off the mirror.
LES ... recap

Some researchers call the " ultra being" and consider it the hallmark of
wisdom. I mean the sense of serenity that allows one to focus on others
from an emotionally safe place. There's no jealousy, no competition.
There's a genuine joy in the success of others . And again and again
studies show that it is a of the most important ways to connect

meaningfully with others.
Forget : Trying to find happiness filling their needs first.
Inquire: What can I do to forget myself and focus on others?
do it: Put aside your needs and dedicate yourself to do something that will
help you take your eyes off the mirror.
Remember: Success in life has to do with what it does for others.
14. DO FOR OTHERS WHAT THEY CAN DO FOR NO YES

SAME
You have not lived today until you have done something for someone who
can never repay .
- JOHN BUNYAN
Some time ago , John gave a big boost to career as a lecturer when I
opened it doors I could never have opened. Thanks to your
recommendation , I could speak on various platforms around the country
and address audiences of several thousands at a time. The people who did
not know me events ; but I knew John and trusted their endorsement to
support a young lecturer was coming. That was 15 years ago, and am still
very grateful to John for what he did for me at that time. It gave me
something I never could have achieved without him the launch Race [p
98 ] professional and lecturer. Countless people could tell how John has
worked to help personally or professionally. Once I talked with Tim
Elmore , a longtime friend and employee who is now vice president of
EQUIP , after pondering for a moment, said: "It is difficult to reduce
everything to a single example . John has done so much for me and I owe
you so much ... " Maybe more staff can show you how the heart of John .
He and I went to Bangalore , India, to give some lessons about leadership.
I must admit that this was a trip I would not have done if I had not John
used in EQUIP. Before leaving the country , wife Pam asked him to take
care of me because I suffer from diabetes. If the level of blood sugar drops
suddenly , disoriented me , I did not realize that things are bad and
generally I need to go to a hospital for help. It is disturbing , especially
when one is in abroad. When we got to India, John was received like a
rock star. You cannot imagine how the people treated . Abroad, people are
lining up for hours to meet him and for me to sign some of their books .
Well, John gave a session in Bangalore and people are excited to the
extent that started coming up where he was but as there were so many ,
began to tighten . And what did he do? He tried to move amid the crowd,
grabbed my briefcase with tools for diabetes and made sure that was not in
trouble. It may sound like a small thing but it's hard to believe that
someone cannot get carried away by the moment and instead prefer
concentrate on the needs of another person. That shows me the nobility of
John and his desire for help others . Tim had to swallow as she told me
that last part . Her story impressed me , but there is more caused greater
impression on me. Each of the people with whom I spoke about this
quality of John told me he wanted to do for others what John had done for
each of them . Since I had helped them do things that otherwise could not
have done , felt inspired to encourage that in others.
MAXWELL STYLE
The ambassador and poet Henry Van Dyke said, " There is a nobler
ambition to become great only in the world . Is bending and lifting
humanity for her to be even bigger "What a great perspective! Do others
what they cannot do for themselves is really a matter of attitude. I believe
that everything I received must share with others. And as I have a mind
full of abundance, not worried about that left me with nothing. The more
you give , it seems that I get more to keep on giving.
"There is a noble ambition that only become great in the world. It's stoop
and lift up humanity for her to be even more great. "
-Henry Van Dyke
No matter how much or how little you have, you have the ability to do for
others what they do not can do for themselves . The exact way to do this
will depend on your personal gifts , resources and history.
However, you can try thinking of the following four areas :
1. THIS TO OTHER PEOPLE WHO MAY NOT KNOW AT YOUR
OWN
My father, Melvin Maxwell has done amazing things for me [p 100]

throughout his life . One of the things that impressed me most was when I
had to men of great reputation. When I was a teenager , I met Norman
Vincent Peale, E. Stanley Jones and other great men of faith. And as he
said he wanted to enter the ministry father asked these great preachers to
pray for me . I cannot express in words the impact that this had in life.
Currently , I am often in a position to do what dad did for me. I love
people present young my heroes . I love helping people to have business
contacts. There are often times when I meet someone and as we speak ,
I'm thinking, " I have to file this person so and so . " That may mean going
with that person until another office, call someone on your behalf , or to
arrange a meeting. Several years ago, I was talking to Anne Beiler ,
founder of pretzels ( pretzels ) Auntie Anne , and in conversation it came
out that the founder of Chick- fil -A ( a restaurant chain in the United
States) , Truett Cathy , was one of his heroines. Since I knew Truett , I
offered to present them and I did by a dinner for them at home. It was a
great night . Please do not think that you have to meet someone famous to
help others in this area. Sometimes just submit another friend or a business
partner with another . You just have to make connections. You be the
bridge relationships among others.
2. TAKE OTHER PEOPLE WHERE THEY COULD NOT GO BY

THEMSELVES
Early in our marriage , Margaret and I were extremely poor. I was just out
of college and I had spent many hours race. Margaret had to have three
jobs so we could survive. we were able to get ahead but we had no money
for luxuries such as a vacation. Fortunately , I had a big brother us wanted
and cared for us . The holiday we had in the first five or six years of
professional life were invited by Larry and his wife , Anita. I especially
remember a wonderful trip to Acapulco, Mexico . It seems that during the

first half of the race , if I was going somewhere important , it was because
someone invited me . Dozens of times enjoyed experiences that never
could have achieved by myself, I attended ball games , played golf, visited
churches , attended conferences and traveled to countries that were far
from reach. Chances are you have the ability to give someone an
experience that seems inaccessible to him . if cannot help a friend or
colleague , then start with your family. Take your kids to places where
there could go by themselves. It's amazing the kind of positive impact that
cause.
3. GIVE OTHER OPPORTUNITIES THEY CAN NOT REACH FOR
THEMSELVES
I mentioned that I helped him reach large audiences in his career as a
lecturer. The same I happened to me. Nearly 25 years ago , Professor C.
Peter Wagner of Fuller Theological Seminary invited me to speak to
pastors around the country on leadership. He put me first on a national
platform and gave me credibility not owned by myself . Few things are
more valuable to a person prepared than an opportunity. Why? Because
opportunities increase our potential. Demosthenes, the great orator of
ancient Greece , said : " The opportunities peque52
sized are often the beginning of great enterprises . " Have people and
giving them opportunities to succeed you will succeed with them.
4. SHARE IDEAS WITH THOSE WHO HAVE NOT OWN YOURS
How much is an idea? Every product starts with a idea. Each service
begins with an idea. Each business, every book, every new invention
begins with an idea. The ideas are what move the world. Hence When you
give someone an idea , you are giving a great gift. One of the things that I
love writing books is the process by which it happened . It usually begins
with a concept that I am eager to teach. I put some ideas on paper and then
I meet a group of thinkers creative to help me test the concept , ideas
launched air and ended up specifying a sketch. Every time we've done
this, you have given me great ideas I never would have thought of myself .
I have to say I am very grateful. One of the things I like about this is that
people enjoy creative ideas and always seem to have more . The more you
give, the more out of their heads. Creativity and generosity feed each other
, that is one of the reasons why I can easily share ideas with others. I am
convinced that I will die before I run out of them. It is better to give some
ideas and contribute to the success of another person to have those ideas
without to use.
LES ... recap

When you do something for others that they cannot do for themselves , is
encouraging meaningful relationships with these people. Studies on what
researchers call "the theory of self-determination ' have shown that support
the goals of others builds the relationship, and finally you are helping
them to align their goals with them mismos.
Forget : Worrying about what you can get from others and focus on what
you can do for others .
ask yourself: What opportunity , idea or experience I can provide
someone who might otherwise never get ?
Do this : Using a list of your skills , resources and connections , consider
some specific things that you can make for others.
Remember: We need others to do for us what we cannot do for ourselves .
15. LISTEN WITH HEART

" The most important thing in communication is hearing what is not said "
PETER DRUCKER LES ... NOTING PRACTICE IN ACTION
As a psychologist , I have been trained to listen to the feelings of people ,
not just their ideas. And I have observed many leaders , especially those of
strong character, with A- type personalities are not very good listeners . If
ever they do, their attitude often is: Forget the history of childbirth , just
show me the baby. I believe that John is a person of strong character. It
can be a class leader " you are in charge, not like prisoners. " But it is also
a very good listener . It is particularly adept at understanding how it feels
people . Because this feature is very rare in people like him , I asked him
how he became so good for listen . "Failure " was his reply. "The constant
failure . I started as a horrible listener . At first career thought I knew
everything. The only reason people left was because he knew that speak
would soon turn to. "In marriage things went a little better," he continued.
"I wanted to listen to Margaret because loved. But that did not stop me
from being Mr. " Wise Guy ." In the book How to win people over , I
mean how he used to win arguments with her but lost it emotionally.
Finally , to understand how it was hurting your feelings , I stopped what I
was doing and I learned to listen , not just his words, but the feelings had
behind the words . I learned to listen with the heart. " "And how did you
do the same in your career? ' I asked. " I could see the value of this attitude
by the way Margaret and our relationship changed . But it also gave me
that it was a good leadership. President Woodrow Wilson said : " The ear
of the leader must vibrate with voices of the people. " For a couple of
years , what I did was when I was in a meeting, writing a capital E largest
notebook to remind me I should listen . Over time , it became a skill that I
managed master . " If you already are a good listener , has come a long
way . All you have to do is listen " between the lines" for clues that tell
how others feel . If you are more like John , it will take a while to learn the
ability to listen with the heart, but anyone can do it . One need not be a
trained psychologist.
MAXWELL STYLE
If you are a bad listener as I was , do the following to become someone

who listens to the heart
FOCUS ON THE PERSON
Herb Cohen , who is said to be the best negotiator in the world, says:
"Listening effectively requires more to hear the words . You need to find
meaning and understand what is being said. After all, the effect is not in
words but in people . " Many focus more on the ideas and communicating
them seem almost forget about the person. You cannot do that, but you
must listen with your heart . I am impatient by nature , so I have to
constantly fight the tendency to put schedule first. I think that's the case
for most of those who do not listen . If that happens to you , slow down
and put the person first. Focus on the individual, not only in the ideas
expressed .
UNCOVER YOUR EARS
Even if you have begun to focus on the person you are chatting , you may
find it difficult to hear effectively. Here are some potential barriers :
Distractions. Phone calls , television, pagers and things like that can make
listening either nearly impossible . Defensiveness. If you see complaints or
criticism as a personal attack , maybe you get defensive . Once you start
protect , will care little what others think or feel . Closed Mind . When you
think you have all the answers, your mind is closed. And when your mind
is closed , so make their ears. Projection . Automatically attribute their
own thoughts and feelings to others does not allow him to perceive how
feel .
Assumptions . When you rush to conclusions , is shedding its own
incentive to listen . Pride . To think that we have little to learn from others
is perhaps the worst distractions to listen . if you are full of your ego will
not have room for what others say . Obviously , your goal is to remove
these barriers to good communication. If possible , consult a fitness room

where you can hear ; away from noise and distractions. And also please a
good atmosphere mind to listen . Put aside your defenses and your
preconceived notions so that is open to communication .
LISTEN WITH DYNAMIC
There is a difference between hearing and listening passively dynamically.
To listen with the heart , that action has to be activated. In his book It is
Your Ship ( This is your ship) , Captain Michael Abrashoff explains that
people often talk more than listen dynamism dynamism. When he decided
to become a listener dynamic , that made a big difference in him and his
crew. He wrote : I took a long time for me to realize that crew was talented
, intelligent and full of good ideas that were not often at all because no one
in authority gave them attention. Like most organizations , the Navy
seemed put administrators as mere transmitters , which minimized the
reception. They were conditioned to make the orders above, not to listen to
suggestions coming from below . So I decided that job was to listen
aggressively and collect all the crew had good ideas to improve the
operation of the ship. Some traditionalists may consider this heresy , but
reality is simple common sense. After all, the people who do the internal
work on the boat see things that officials do not see. I thought [p 109]
prudent , as captain , I strive to see the ship through the eyes of crew .
Something happened in me because of these interviews came to respect
greatly crew. They were not only bodies or persons name barked orders
without them . I noticed that they had hoped ... , dreams, people who loved
and so wanted to believe that what they were doing was important. In
therefore wanted to be treated with respect. There is a difference between
hearing and listening passively dynamically. To listen with the heart , that
action has to be activated. With the change of attitude Abrashoff , his crew
became , his boat turned upside and results They were amazing.
LISTEN TO THE UNDERSTANDING

The root cause of almost every problem of communication is that people
do not listen to understand , but listening to answer . David Burns , a
physician and professor of psychiatry at the University of Pennsylvania
says : " The biggest mistake you can make when trying to speak
convincingly is placing your highest priority in expressing their ideas and
feelings. What most people really want is to be heard , respected and
understood . " If you want to meet the needs of others and make feel like a
million dollars, then you need to listen . One of the ironies of becoming a
good listener is to listen to others and make them feel included , has also a
beneficial side . According to Burns, "When people realize that you
understand , feel more motivated to understand his point of view. " Play
with heart results in a relationship where all win.
LES ... recap

Few issues on relations have been more empirical support to the
importance of active listening. To this, psychologists sometimes call it
"listening with the third ear ." In conclusion, most of the studies showing
exactly what John teaches . When we listen we trying to have a genuine
understanding , we are not " Playing the role " of listeners , but we are
fully engaged in the moment and the person sabe.1

Forget: Try to give your opinion and use your energy to understand the
position of the other person.
Inquire: How I can better understand what this person is feeling and
thinking ?
do it: Listen proactively eliminating distractions and focusing on the
perspective of the other person.
Remember: The best way to persuade others is with your ears.
16. FIND THE KEY THAT OPENS THE HEARTS OF OTHERS

Managers that can make plays sketches on a blackboard there are heaps .
Those who succeed are those that can get into his players to motivate
them.
VINCE LOMBARDI LES ... NOTING PRACTICE IN ACTION
When communicators speak in public, something curious happens . A

communicator has a clear idea in your mind , places the message carefully
and presents . But when people come to tell you about what I said , it
seems each person heard a different message. Always the case.
I asked John if he had experienced the same phenomenon . " Absolutely ,"
she said . " When I started preach, surprised me , and I used to wonder if
everyone heard the same sermon . In a way, not they had done. The words
I use may be the same , but the audience members hear different because
everyone has different keys to their hearts. This is not only a great lesson
that a speaker must learning , but should also be remembered when
working with people . " Every time I spend time with John , I see how
established relationship with people on an emotional level so
immediately . For example, again Nowery Kirk met with the president of
one of the companies of John , ISS . Many times when a leader meets with
someone who works for him, the conversation goes directly to the point
but first thing John did was ask Kirk for his family. I wanted to know how
his wife, how were his sons , John seemed to know all about the Kirk
family . Once we talked about it , they began to talk about business . John
makes this intuitively with everyone you know . Question about the
relatives of that person by name. He asks how things are going in the
church or in business. And it seems to remember the details . Why?
Because he has set a goal to know what is valuable for people who are
important to him . Sure, you may know these things because listening to
the heart , as explained in the previous chapter .
MAXWELL STYLE
In the eighties, I had the privilege , along with thirty other leaders spent
two days with the father of the administration Modern , Peter Drucker.
One of the things he said was: " Managing people is like conducting an
orchestra. There many different musicians and instruments the principal
must know thoroughly . " Drucker knew challenged us to really the key to
our team people. During the past 20 years , purpose has been to discover
the keys to the hearts of people in life, beginning with family and inner
circle. This is what I learned :
ACCEPT THE FACT THAT PEOPLE ARE DIFFERENT
I have written other books when I was younger I used to believe that
everyone should be like me if they wanted to succeed. I have matured a lot
since then. Part of that growth has been the result of travel and meet many
types of people. Books such as Personality Plus ( A top personality)
Florence Littauer also helped. I've come to realize over time that there are
large gaps in my skills , like everyone and if people with different talents
and temperaments work together , we all win and manage to make much
more . Also enjoy more from life. If you have a healthy self-image , is
likely to fall into the same trap as me. However, You cannot win if people
internally believe that everyone should be like you. Accept that people are
different and celebrate God made us that way .
FIND THE KEYS TO THE HEARTS OF PEOPLE ASKING

QUESTIONS
It seems pretty basic , but make a good question it is essential to discover
the key to the heart of a person . Through the years , I have developed a
list of questions that have helped me time and time again . maybe You also
want to use : "What is your dream? " One can learn about what people
think through what they have achieved, but to understand their hearts one
must know what your goals are . " What makes you mourn ? " When one
understands the pain of the people , that makes you understand their
hearts. " What makes you sing? " What brings happiness to people is often
the source of his strength . " What are your values? " When people give
you access to your values , you must know who has entered the most
secret chamber of their hearts. " What are your strengths ? " What people
perceive as their strengths always make your hearts proud. " What is your
temperament ? " Know that, and often discover the way to their hearts.
Obviously , do not make your questions seem an interview nor need to
know all the answers in a single conversation . The process can be both
natural and directed .
SET POINTS IN COMMON
The word communication comes from the Latin communis , meaning "
common." Good leaders , communicators and charismatic people always
find something in common with the people you speak . It is there, in those
commonalities that manage to communicate with others . If you have
asked questions and listened , safely discover commonalities . Sometimes
in meetings , secret agendas make communication is inefficient because of
the way people cannot find common ground . When that happens , try to
suggest that all parties put agree on one basic rule. When someone
disagrees with another , before expressing his point itself , you have to
understand and be able to articulate the point of his opponent. You will be
amazed to see how fast this practice makes people find common ground .
ACCEPT THAT , OVER TIME, PEOPLE CHANGE
For some people , getting in tune with the dreams and desires of others is a
big step , as well can find the key to their hearts. But not enough to do that
once and then think that this is retained forever. Time changes everything,
even the human heart. Fred Bucy , former president of Texas Instruments,
said : " The easiest thing is to assume that what worked yesterday will
work today, but that is simply not true. " What is effective in motivating
people in a time of their careers will not necessarily be effective in
motivating them in the future. What hits your hearts on a stage their lives
will probably not be the same after a while . Successes and failures ,
tragedies and triumphs , goals achieved and dreams that are the basis of
everything, impact values and desires of a person. So what does that mean
for someone who wants to win people discovering the keys to their
hearts ? It means that you should ...
MAINTAIN A CONTINUING CONVERSATION WITH OTHERS .
Continue to communicate on an emotional level . Ask which has impacted
their feelings so far ; if the answers differ , then you know that they are
changing and having a new opportunity to learn what interests them now .
BE ALERT TO THE " CHANGE INDICATORS IN THE LIFE OF A
PERSON .
There are moments in the lives that people are more likely to change:
( 1) both suffer when they have to change ,
(2) when learn enough that they want to change , and
(3 ) when they receive enough training to change that .
If you practice these two disciplines , especially with his family and key
people in your organization may maintain a connection with them. I need
to tell you something more about discovering the key to the hearts of
people and this is the point Most important: Once you have found the key ,
you must act with integrity, because that person has been entrusted
something of great value . Never use it to manipulate anyone. " Use " key
only when it can add more value to that person.
LES ... recap

A genuine concern for others is a life style than a technique. A genuine
concern for others is a life style than a technique. Sure, you can practice
the tips suggest that John and see an immediate benefit, but never help in
relations unless the practice constantly . In fact , studies show that when
you learn to develop this quality , there will be more likely it becomes part
of your personality when you work on it every day , making it a habit
reflection with people at your alrededor.1 In other words, it needs to be

something that you are more than something you do .
Forget: Their tendency to believe that everyone is ( or should be) like you.
Inquire: What "indicators of change" have seen the person whose heart I
would understand ?
do it: Make your purpose is to find the key to the heart of his inner circle.
Remember: Leaders who succeed are those that comprise the heart of
your computer .
17. BE THE FIRST TO HELP

After the verb ' to love ', 'help' is the most beautiful verb in the world.
VON - BERTH SUTTNER
" Les, where are you ? "
" I just spent the Hotel del Coronado and I'm entering the complex ."
" What color is the car you rented ? "
"It's silver ," I said to John on the phone.
" All right, I'm watching " John said . " Turn right and see a space that is
left empty ."
"And where are you ? ' I asked.
' Above '. John was on the balcony of the building on Coronado Island in
San Diego. He had rented a condo and I had flown for a day of meetings
with him .
"Ah , there you are ! "
I started laughing when waving from the balcony. Only John would have
happened to be looking for spaces available from where I was so I could
find a place to park . Offer our help to others to earn people is one of the
first lessons we learn in any kind of social psychology. But John gives it a
new twist , he does everything he can to help and if someone are in need ,
it is often the first on the scene . "Sometimes it's the little details of John ,"
said the employee Ken Coleman. "When I travel with him , often I have
seen someone helps you put your bags in the compartment of the plane
even though most passengers do not pay attention or try to avoid the
person. John takes a conscious effort to help one at the time. It seems like
a reflex in him. " John 's career in the ministry for 26 years has probably
caused a great impact on him in this area. Good shepherds seem able to
tune into the needs of others. But you do not have to be a professional
pastor to see the needs of people and be the first to help. It's the kind of
thing that anyone can do, regardless of age , talent or socioeconomic status
.
MAXWELL STYLE
" You will get to have everything you want in life if you help enough other
so that they come to have everything they want . "
- Zig Ziglar
My friend Zig Ziglar said, " You will get to have everything you want in
life if you help enough for other they get to have everything they want . "
Zig is a living example of this. He has helped many people and as a result
has had great success. I love helping people . I think it's one of the
reasons why God put us in this land, but helping others is more than
benefit them. It also helps you to win them . I say this because whenever
you are ready to help , will be making a statement. It's like leaving a
business card that never forget . How, then, can you be the first to help ?
Follow these guidelines :
BECOMING THE HELP OTHERS IN A PRIORITY
Many times we are so consumed with our schedules to help others is not
important to us. The solution is to make helping others is part of our
agenda , a top priority. I read recently about something that the winner of
Academy Awards , Tom Hanks made several years ago while filming The
Green Mile ( The Green Mile ) shows that helping others is a priority for
him . Frank Darabont , director film , Hanks spoke of commitment to
make the actor Michael Duncan will give the best of themselves and spoke
of the impression that caused it. Darabont said : What remember in fifteen
or twenty years ( on this film)? One thing I will never forget : While we
were we filmed , we were about to take a shot with Michael Duncan, when
I realized that I was Hanks distracting while doing a wonderful
performance out of chambers , Michael Duncan. What I wanted was to
give Michael everything you might need for the best possible
performance. I wanted Michael to do well . that looked good . Never
forget that. Tom Hanks, like many other Hollywood actors , may have
been the first to ignore Duncan. In Instead, it was the first to help .
Obviously yes it worked. In 1999 Michael Clarke Duncan was nominated
for Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor . Since then , Duncan 's
career despeg.
BE AWARE OF THE NEEDS OF OTHERS
This may sound obvious, but no one can solve a need that does not know
exists . We must begin by worrying about the people who are around us
and look at your needs. Sometimes that knowledge can come from
listening with the heart . Sometimes just paying attention to what 's going
on around them. And even other to get mentally in the place of the other
person. There is a Jewish legend that two brothers were sharing a field and
a windmill. Every night divided grain product which had been milled
together during the day . One brother lived alone ; the other had married
and had a large family . One day the single brother thought , It's not fair
that we divide the grain evenly . I just have to watch myself , but brother
has kids to feed . So every night , secretly took some of their flour to the
cellar of his brother. But the married brother thought the situation of his
brother and said , It is not right to divide the grain equally , because I have
children and provide me when they 're old , but has no brother . What will
when you are old ? So every night also had secretly part of your meal and
put it in the cellar his brother. Logically , every morning the brothers
found their supplies of flour mysteriously the same amount . Until one
night they met halfway between their homes. They realized what the other
was doing and gave a big hug . The legend says that God saw that time
and said, " This is a place holy, a place of love , and this is where the
temple was built . " It is said that the first temple was built in the same
sitio. Be willing to risk Sometimes helping someone else can be risky ;
however, that should not stop us from doing so. Ken Sutterfield tells a
story that happened in the 1936 Olympics in Berlin, and illustrating the
impact that occurs when someone is willing to risk . American sprinter
Jesse Owens had established do three Olympic marks in one day ,
including a mark of 26 feet 8 1/4 inches in the long jump a record that
would not break in the next 25 years. However, Owens had to face a lot of
pressure during games . Hitler and his fellow Nazis wanted to use the
competition to establish the Aryan superiority and Owens a African
American , could feel the hostility towards him. When Owens was trying
to qualify for the finals during the games , a German was nervous to see
tall and blue eyes was practicing jumps in the category of 26 feet . On his
first jump, Owens spent few inches from the line. He also missed his
second attempt. Only had one more chance. If he failed , would be
eliminated . The German then approached Owens and presented . His
name was Luz Long. While Nazis looked , Long encouraged Owens and
gave him some advice. Since the distance to qualify was only 23 feet 5
inches, suggested he jumped a few inches before the starting line to make
sure there a mistake. Owens did so and called on his third jump. In the end
, made another Olympic record and won one of four medals . And who
was the first to congratulate ? Luz Long ! Owens never forgot the help that
Long had given him , even if they saw him . "If all melted medals and
trophies that I have " Owens wrote , " could never complete the 24-carat
friendship I feel for Light Long '.3
ONCE YOU START TO HELP SOMEONE DO NOT LEAVE
On one occasion , members of the Philharmonic Society of New York, a
favorite charity Andrew Carnegie , he approached the philanthropist
seeking financial support. I was about to write a check to completely
eliminate the deficit of the company when suddenly stopped. "I'm sure
there must be other lovers of generous and rich music in this town that
could also help " said . "Why not raise half of this amount and then return
me to give them the other half? " The next day , the treasurer returned and
said they had raised $ 30,000 and came by the other half. Carnegie was
extremely pleased with the effort and gave him the check, but out of
curiosity , he said, "Who , may I ask, contributed the other half? " "His
wife, Mrs. Carnegie ," was the answer. Sometimes when we are the first to
offer help, we discovered that the person who made you Offer has no such
need as we thought. Continue helping anyway. Be the first to help is a
great way to win over people . Offer your support and then not doing so is
a sure way to lose .
LES ... recap

Studies of altruism fill volumes and volumes of academic journals . If
there is something that the community professional psychologists know is
that help is one of the shortest distances between two people , especially
when you are the first to do so . And as John says , help others speaks
volumes usted.4
Forget: Thinking of personal gain and think about how you can help.
Inquire: How I can help ?
do it: Be the first to offer their services , your support or just lend a hand.
Remember: If you help enough people to get what they want , you also
get what you want.
18. ADD VALUE TO PEOPLE

Do not try to become a successful man , try to become a man of value.
ALBERT EINSTEIN LES ... NOTING PRACTICE IN ACTION
I have heard John speak to many audiences around the globe and a theme
that emerges in many of his lectures is about giving value to people .
Whatever the conference or theme, it always intertwines importance of '

adding value' in it. I have also been in meetings around a conference table
where John focuses on the added value of other people towards him and
vice versa. It is a hallmark of John Maxwell. So when I started researching
the issue for this book, I went to see Dan Reiland , a friend and colleague
John for over twenty years. "Since I've known him , John has wanted to
add value to people " he said, " but it has not been until recently it has
identified that something as the main purpose of his life ago. And it does
so many ways. Take the staff members to conferences and training events
to improve , spends his time to train and teach some . Supported to take
risks and succeed and gives them a safe place where they can fail and
learn . Value added to them paying well . " "But how you have added
value to you personally? ' I asked. " Where do I start? " He said. "I can
give you a list ." And that 's what I did: Believe in me . He tells the truth in
love . It takes me beyond comfort zone but not beyond capacity area . It
opens the world taking me abroad . It gives an example of leadership in
bad and good times. Talk to others very well of me , more than I deserve .
I open doors in life that I could never open . Searching for the best for me
constantly. It allows me to be part of his inner circle. He treats me like a
younger brother, a gift of immense value. "If I had never met John , all life
would be different : career, my skills, my relations' continues Dan , " he
has added value to life for two decades. How can you measure that? " It
seems that John does not waste any opportunity to add value to people .
And that priority much as others did win people .
JOHN ... A MOMENT WITH TEACHING
MAXWELL STYLE
Deep inside me, I think there is nothing more important in life than
people. Having accepted this truth , I try to live with integrity. That means
doing everything in my ability to add value. If you wish to become a

person who adds value to others they then endorse these things :
VALRELOS
It all starts with your attitude towards others . The relationship expert Les
Giblin said : " We cannot make a fellow feel important in our presence if
you secretly believe is a nobody . " Is not that true? Do not you think it's
hard to do something good for a person when you do not feel appreciation
for her?
"We cannot make a fellow feel important in our presence if you secretly
believe it is a nobody. "
-Les Giblin
The way you see people is often the difference between handle and
motivate . If you do not want help others , but we want them to help us ,
then we have a problem. to manipulate people when we use for our
personal benefit . On the other hand, when we seek motivate It is a mutual
advantage. Add value to others is , therefore, a proposition where everyone
wins. How do you see others? Are they potential recipients of the value
you can give them , or are simply discomfort in your career success? The
author Sydney J. Harris said, " People want to be appreciated, not
impressed. Want to be treated like human beings and not as soundboards
for the ego of others.
They want to be treated as the final object , not as a means for the
gratification of the vanity of the other. " if You want to add value to people
, you have to evaluate them first.
BECOME MORE VALUABLE
Have you ever heard the phrase "You cannot give what we do not have ?"
There are people who have hearts too good and want to give; however,
have very little to offer. Why? Because they themselves have not been
recovered . Become more valuable is not an entirely selfish act . When you
acquire knowledge , learning a new skill , or experience is not only better,
but also is increasing its capacity to help others . In 1974 I committed to
personal growth . I knew it would help me be a better minister , so I
started to read books, listen to lectures , attend conferences and learn from
good leaders. At that time there had no idea that would be most important
commitment you'll ever make to help others, but that was what happened .
The more progressed, also progressed ability to help others. The more I
progressed, more could help others to develop. This principle is the same
for you. If you want to add value to people, you should make himself more
valuable.
KNOW WHAT PEOPLE RATE
As you have already read the chapters "Listen with your heart " and " Find
the key that unlocks the hearts of others " Has a good foundation on the
principle behind this practice. If you have already begun to practice , then
will have noticed that you might take a long time, but also know that it is
the most important step for add value to people . Once we know what
people value , we need only a little effort add value to you . Knowing what
people value appreciation has become part of life now and you should do
the same . Here are some examples of own life :
My wife Margaret valued time with her as well as attention to her. My
children , Elizabeth and Joel Potter , appreciate the legacy that Margaret
and I are leaving . Larry , brother, my prayers and valued our time
together. Eric and Troy, my nephews , value the fatherly advice and
unconditional love I give . Linda, wizard, time value and effectiveness , as
it is an integral part of it. John , the president of nonprofit organization
EQUIP , values and leadership opportunities I give . Kirk , the president of
company ISS , values friendship and companionship. Kevin , the company
president INJOY appreciates the opportunities that I give . Tom valued

friendship and support. Rick valued relationship "big brother" that I have
with him. Joel appreciates the networking opportunities that I give him .
You could go on things , but I will not bore you . The point is that we take
the time to learn what people value most appreciated . By the way, add
value to others is not only a gift to them ; so is for you. People I named in
the list, continuously add value to life. Some have given me so much that
no matter what I do for them , I can never match what they have done for
me.
LES ... recap

Forget: Attempting to become a successful person , try to become a
person of value .
Inquire: Who adds value to life and to whom I would like to add value ?
do it: List the people in your life and write down exactly what they value
most about you.
Remember: If you do not value a person , she will never feel important in
your presence .
19. REMEMBER THE STORIES OF PEOPLE

Many men prefer more people to hear his story to grant them their
requests.
- PHILLIP STANHOPE , EARL OF CHESTERFIELD
" Les " John said, " Tell me about your parents. How's them since moving
to Phoenix? " Only someone like him would remember that my parents
had recently moved . " What about your brothers? " He continued, "what 's
up with them? " John always seems to remember history , like that of
many others. It is very good at it and very consistent . When someone you
know , I've heard ask for his life. So I asked him how he had learned to
collect the stories of people. "To begin ," he explained , "I love a good
story , is about someone who just met or Adventure someone I know in a
lifetime. In fact, when I'm with father , who is now eighty-two years , we
spent telling stories. We talked about what new is happening in our lives,
and some stories I've heard dozens of times. Some , Dad loves to count
them again and again . others I ask you to do so . " " But in your case ," he
remarked , "I think you do not demand much effort to hear about
someone's life that just met. " "It is true," he said. " If I have some time, I
ask you to tell me about his life, because I know that during that while the
conversation will focus entirely on him, their interests, their dreams, their
disappointments , their questions , their hopes, their itinerary. Knowing a
person's life is a great way to connect with her. Remember your story and
building on it is the best way to develop a strong relationship. " For
example , the other day I took a taxi from the airport to San Diego
Coronado. And I talked to the driver of taxi. He said his name was Rafael .
I asked her to tell me something of his life and he said he had lived in
Coronado thirty-five years and that he had found something he had never
found anywhere else : living in community. Meets every afternoon with
friends in a local market where they talk and have fun. It felt so excited
that I had asked about him inviting ended market . " This shows the great
connection that one can do in a short time with just ask people about of
their lives. Imagine the shock when you remind them to one aspect of its
history ; you can re- connect easily with them.

MAXWELL STYLE
There are many good reasons to learn about life of a person. Here are
some that I continue to motivate to continue this practice with others
Wanting to know the history of a person is like saying , "You could be
special ." Remember the story of a person is like saying : " You are special
." Remind that person aspects of their history is like saying , "You are
special to me ." Repeat the story of a person to others is like saying : " You
should be special for them ." What is the result? You will become a special
person for that he shared his story . These are just three simple steps which
are needed to win over people with this practice. The key is cultivate the
habit of following these steps with people who come into your life .
1. ASK
When you know someone , after the presentations , do not think twice.
Ask him to talk about his life. You can do this in several ways. You can
ask him directly , " Tell me about yourself ." You can also ask for Where is
or how he got to where he is. Use your own style . If you have tried this
before and is concerned that it can be embarrassing the first time , then
practice with people hardly see again : a taxi driver , a passenger on an
airplane, a waitress in a restaurant. When you feel comfortable asking
strangers about their lives , the rest will be easy.
2. LISTEN
Years ago I came across a list of tips to be a good listener . ( I think the cut
out magazine . Bits and Pieces ) Here are some of those tips : Look at the
other person 's eyes. Pay attention. Do not look the other way or make a
grimace when you hear something that does not match . Do not interrupt .
Use phrases like " later " or " I see " instead of phrases like " Yes , that
reminds me ... " Tell the person you are speaking what you think you
heard. Start saying, " Let me see if I 'm understanding ." The important
thing is to pay full attention to the other person. There are many who talk
while they are thinking about what you will say when it is their turn and
are not listening. When you are paying attention entire people , will be in a
better position to take the next step .
3. REMEMBER
Some people have a knack for numbers , others for names or faces, but
almost all have the ability to remember a story. Young children 's recall .
And there are stories that have been recited and sung memory for
thousands of years . Even long stories like the Iliad and the Odyssey ,
which have about three thousand years old , were sung for three centuries
before being written . The stories are with us. A couple of years ago, the
department conferences INJOY received a letter from Ellis Brust of the
Episcopal Church St. Michael and All Angels showing us the power to
recall the history of a person. This is what The letter said :
One of my leaders in the church just opened a fast food business in the
small town of Gilmer, east Texas . Partnered with two other men of the
church and have committed to run the business under the principles
Christians. Ago as three or four years I took this head to listen to John at
one of his lectures . later friend remembered the story of Nordstrom
( about how their employees made an extra effort) that John told this time .
He has tried to train their employees using these principles. During the
first week of being open to the public , he overheard two old ladies talking
about of gaseous offered . One of them was disappointed because there
was Dr. Pepper diet . He spoke with lady knew he was diabetic and
preferred diet soda Dr. Pepper over the others, so I got into his car , went
to a " Seven Eleven " ( small convenience store ) , bought a six pack diet
Dr. Pepper , returned your business and offered the elderly your favorite
drink in a glass with ice. And I always said there would be a Dr. Pepper
diet box in the fridge with your name and return whenever you only have
to tell the dependent on its name and what was your favorite beverage to
give it to him . The lady, impressed, said : " Young people have been in
this lifetime. And I know many people who will hear what you did for me
today. Thanks , we will be repeat customers. " I thought you'd like to know
how , in a minimal way, your work is changing lives. Go ahead . Was what
made the restaurant owner of something important ? Did the life of the
elderly ? No. In fact , we know if you ever talk to her again or if he knew
something of its history, but made her feel special. If the people matter to
us if we listen and try to remember their stories , we can make an impact
on them. And we can make them feel like a million dollars.
LES ... recap

Researchers call it the "script commitment ." It is a part of the story of a
person who is very personal and meaningful . From experience and
numerous studies, I can attest to the fact that when closer to a person ,
when we dedicate our time to explore and remember your history , we
achieve a connection extremely valiosa.1
To apply the teaching of John to his own life

Forget: To tell their own story rather hear the story of the other .
Ask: What is your story ?
do it: Bring up some aspect of the life of the person the next time I see her
Remember: Everyone loves to tell about their lives.
20. SHARE A GOOD STORY

The universe is made of stories, not of atoms.
Muriel Rukeyser LES ... NOTING PRACTICE IN ACTION
I saw John on the sidewalk of Seattle airport and I went over to pick it up .
After taking part in his suitcase back of Jeep , got in the car and we left.
We had dinner before going to the commitment we had. After a few
minutes of catching up , we reached the hotel. When we passed through
the lobby , John said, " A time , I want to tell a story. " He led me down a
corridor until we reached a meeting room . " This place is very special to
me ," he explained . He said the seat was at the end of the conference table
. "I was sitting in that seat when ISS was becoming the company it is
today." John was referring to one of their organizations. He pointed out
every seat and told me who had been sitting in them . Then I explained the
whole process of what happened that day. He told me how he had flown to
Seattle to ask the advice of a business executive and how his dream of
helping pastors to raise money to expand their churches had grown from a
vision to a reality ; also told me that he had hired that business leader so he
could help churches nationwide. The way he told me made it easy to
visualize what happened and feel their enthusiasm . " I tell you, Les, back
to where something good happened always renews gratitude. " The lesson
of this story is stuck in me. John told me eight years ago and still
remember it vividly. In fact, I cannot stop thinking about it every time I
pass that hotel. At that time, it was an important connection point between
John and me. He included me in a private part of his life , sharing with me
his heart, your dreams and your personal history. It made me feel good.
Still does. As a communicator , I am always posting how people talk in
public. John always has a good story to tell , whether in front of an
audience or individually, and uses many stories when communicating . So
I asked him why he did it . "It's easy ," she said . " The stories are ; the
principles are . " "If you want people to remember what you said, tells a
story. " He added: " Let me tell you something else. It took me a while to
learn the lesson about using stories in my writing . Since I am a person
who likes to get down to business , I used to teach principles without
many anecdotes , but a friend convinced me that change style. And it's
been the biggest difference for my readers . As a writer, one has to wonder
: " The reader will turn the page? " Most likely, yes, if I am using a good
story . " I have not met a person who does not enjoy a good story. That's
one of the reasons why which the narrators have both magnetism !
In the fall of 1999 , Margaret , some friends and I visited the village of
Jonesborough, Tennessee. More than seven thousand people from around
the country, many making a big spending, came to sit for several hours on
a sheets, or on folding chairs , sometimes in the rain. Why? Because they
wanted to attend the " National Festival Annual storytelling . " We note
narrator after narrator enthrall listeners . The stories were different , sad,
happy , funny , sentimental , historical and fictional , mystical . Some had
a great message ; others were just entertainment . but all the stories and the
storytellers had one thing in common : The power to captivate listeners .
At the end of the conference , my friends and I talk about why these were
so effective storytelling .
Who were the traits that made them so successful ' Here I present a list of
the things we discovered ? : Excitement . They enjoyed what they were
doing and expressed with taste and vitality. Animation. Presentations
supported with highly dynamic facial expressions and gestures. Audience
participation . Almost all involved the audience in a way or another.
They were asked to sing , which applaud , to repeat phrases or utilize sign
language .
Spontaneity . Responded spontaneously to his listeners .
Memorization. Told stories without using any paper allowing them to
make eye contact with the audience.
Humor . The mood was present even in serious or sad stories.

Creativity . The classics counted them from a fresh perspective .
Customize. Most were first-person accounts .
Comforting. The stories made people feel good for having listened .
Storytelling is very effective when done from person to person , in front of
small groups and large audiences. Invariably , good narrator becomes the
center of attention.
Storytelling is a skill that is given only to the practice and anyone can
learn to develop it. If you not have much experience or would like to
improve , let me give you some tips:
SHARE SOMETHING YOU HAVE EXPERIENCED
The best stories are those that have experienced firsthand . We care , and
we know the material what was the effect on us. And we can mold them
the way you want. We all have experiences which will interest others.
Tell it TO MAKE A CONNECTION
The best stories are those that have experienced firsthand . The people
who find it more difficult to use anecdotes are trying to impress others
with them. If this is the case , change your goal. Use their stories in order
to achieve a connection with others. that his focus is on listening and not
you, so your ability to tell the illustrations will improve overnight at
morning .
PUT YOUR HEART IN IT
People love the humor, but not everyone can tell a funny story . If you do ,
go ahead, but never underestimate the power of a story that comes from
the heart. If you want evidence , look at the sales of books Chicken Soup
for the Soul ( Chicken Soup for the Soul ) . If you want to tell a story that
achieves a connection , it must be warm . Do not be afraid of heart and

show people that you care about what is counting .
ASSUME THAT PEOPLE WANT listen
One of the mistakes that novice storytellers is to be undecided. Nothing
makes a more narrative falls faster in the monotony that shy description. If
you 're going to have an illustration , be bold , be dynamic , be
sympathetic . Give the best or better not give anything . I have read that
often the "elite" criticized President Lincoln for using too many stories ,
but it did not allow that stop him , because he knew that gave result. He
once said : " There are too many people who say they use stories ; I admit,
but I have realized from experience that ordinary people reported more
fcilmen you through a great illustration that otherwise , and about what
the few critics think , not me Worth . " Follow the leadership of Lincoln
and other great leaders who knew how to win people . Use a good story ,
manages to get through to their hearts and gneselos .
LES ... recap

Research supports the value of relating their thoughts and ideas through
stories. In fact, a study recently revealed that those who use illustrations to
relate to others manage to obtain greater authenticity and improve their
self-esteem. As a result , self-expression makes others feel well and feel
better during the process.1
Forget: If a professional narrator.

Inquire: Which account should I use for presentation more convincing?
do it: Use a story instead of relying only on facts .
Remember: The stories are , the principles go.
21. GIVE UNCONDITIONAL

The most persistent and urgent question in life is: What are you doing for
others?
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR .
When I visit John at his office in Atlanta, one of the people that I always
see is Linda Eggers, his assistant. A few days ago I talked to her and asked
about a comment that illustrates the concept of giving without expecting

anything in return . "Who could tell a good story? ' I asked. " Who do you
recommend? " "What about me? " He replied. And he began to tell story
after story , but there was one in particular that seemed be very important
to her. It happened when her youngest daughter, Kim, was graduating
from high school. At the same time also the work of the office was frantic,
and her other daughter, Jenny , who lived in Ohio, was pregnant with I
wanted to give a baby up for adoption. The day before graduation Kim ,
Linda knew that Jenny was having serious complications and I was going
to be operated . "I am a relatively stable person," Linda told me . " There
are many things that affect me , but during those days , I was completely
overwhelmed . " He said as he sat down and told John what was
happening , after some beautiful words of encouragement and prayer, John
offered to help . The first thing I did was buy a round trip ticket so he
could be with Jenny on the day of surgery and still have time to be with
Kim for graduation. And he bought another ticket so I could go back and
be with Jenny during her recovery . " How many leaders do you know
who would do that ? " Linda said. "Due to his busy schedule , John was
very difficult to let go during that time. However, I said, " Take all the
time you need and what you have to do." And he said to heart. I was out of
the office for a whole week . "
Linda 's story was not the only one I heard . Charlie Wetzel, John writer
for over a decade , I John told how he offered to send it to a conference for
writers for a week when he had only worked for him a year. When Charlie
explained that he could not go because it was their first wedding
anniversary , John le offered to send both. Kevin Small , INJOY
president , told me about a time when he was having financial difficulties
and how John gave him fifty dollars to take his wife to dinner . Generosity
is an extremely attractive quality. When one encourages the others without

expecting anything in change - really makes them feel special .
MAXWELL STYLE
Pierre Teilhard de Chardin said, " The most satisfying thing in [p 147] life
is being able to give one much same to others. " Anyone who willingly
helped another person knows that this is true. However, not everyone can
adopt that mentality. Why? First of all , I think that has nothing to do with
the circumstances . I have met very generous people who had almost
nothing but who were willing to share what little they had. And I've
known people who have much and yet they are stingy with their time,
money and talent. It is more a matter of attitude. I've noticed that people
who enjoy giving without expecting anything in change generally exhibit
two characteristics that can all be purchased:
1. HAVE AN ABUNDANCE MENTALITY
If you've read Stephen Covey 's book , The Seven Habits of Highly
Effective People ( The seven habits of people highly effective ), then you
will be familiar with the concepts related to the mentality of scarcity or
abundance. In short, people who have a scarcity mentality believe that life
only has a supply limited things , whether of money, resources,
opportunities , and so on. They see the world as a cake that has a limited
number of slices . And once the cake is finished, there is no more . As a
result , struggling to get his slice , and once you have it, protect it to the
hilt . People who possess an abundance mentality believe there is a lot of
everything. If life is a cake and they are eating slices , the solution for a
person with an abundance mentality is baking another cake . There's
always more money to do more resources to discover, to seek other
opportunities . Any old solution is no longer working ? Do not worry,
someone will find another . The inventors , entrepreneurs and explorers

the world are continually creating new " cakes " for everyone to have their
slice . My opinion is that people tend to fall into one of two categories: Or
the taking or they do. Makers are people who take for themselves , seize
and consume what they can just to solve their own needs ; see life as a rat
race . Of course , the main problem with that is that although you win the
race, will always remain a rat. Those who do for their part, are people who
give that create and make things happen . Crean progress and encourage
the success of others. They do not care to or receive as they continually are
helping to create for others.
"When we do not , for that scarcity mentality , the little we have
decreased. When we give generously , with an abundance mentality ,
which we will multiply . "
- Henri Nouwen
People who regularly gives without expecting anything in return is almost
always an abundance mentality . Dan because they believe that doing so
will not be left without resources. The pastor and former teacher Henri
Nouwen said : "When we do not , for that scarcity mentality , the little we
have decreased. When we give generously , with an abundance mentality ,
which we will multiply . " I found that to be true . Someone once asked
me why should adopt that mentality of abundance and was surprised to
answer. I told him if he believed in abundance , that's what life would give
. If he believed in the scarcity, that is what I would get . I do not know
what that is , but after fifty years of paying attention to the attitudes of
people and see how their lives unfolded, I came to the conclusion that it is
true. If you want to be more generous , change your thinking and your
attitude about abundance. Not only will allow be more generous, but also
change your life.
2 . SEE THE BIG PICTURE

People who give without expecting anything in return are generally aware
of the help they have received in his life. They recognize that they stand
on the shoulders of previous generations. The progress achieved is due , at
least in part , to the work and sacrifice of others who came before . For
this reason , they have determined do for the next generation which the
above made by them . I found a poem by WA Dromgoale entitled ' builder
of bridges '. Illustrates this very special way desire to give to others : An
old man walking down a lonely path On a cold, gray night he reached a
vast , deep and wide chasm . The old man crossed in the twilight dim , the
downstream will not cause fear ; but once we reached the other side , He
bridged the river. "Ancient " said a traveler passing , " You're wasting your
strength in building here . Your life will end with the day . And you will
never need to cross. You crossed the chasm , deep and wide , Why then
create a bridge ? " The builder lifted his old gray head , " Good friend , for
this path I have crossed ," he said, " Come a girl whose feet will walk here
. The gap was unimportant to me, for the young can be an obstacle . He
also during twilight shall pass. Good friend, for it is I'm doing this bridge
If we want to be more generous in giving, we need a broader
perspective. When we tells us how much we have benefited from the
kindness of others , it becomes easier to be generous. And it is best to give
It is very rewarding. The university president and educational reformer
Horace Mann said, " We intended us to be kind and generous or we will
lose the best part of our existence. The heart strives someone gets bigger
and full of joy. This is the secret of the inner life. Us do great good when
we are doing something for others . " If we give unselfishly , we get
something return .
LES ... recap

Studies have shown that the higher the level of support we give to others,
greater personal wellbeing will experience . This lesson I use all the time
in therapy sessions with my clients. It is supported by a large number
research . Studies have shown that the higher the level of support we give
to others, will experience greater personal well-being . Researchers call
this " generating activity " and is linked consequently to a larger personal
growth and better health fsica.2
Forget: Scarcity ; rather , focus on abundance.
Inquire: Who can I help without expecting anything in return ?
do it: Make a point of being kind and generous to a specific person.
Remember: When you are doing something good for others , he is doing a
greater good to yourself.
22. Learn the NAME OF YOUR MAIL

Remember that to a person , his name is the sweetest and most important
sound in any language .
Carniege - DALE
John tells the story of how he used to memorize the names of people who
attended his church when he was pastor of Skyline Wesleyan Church in
San Diego , California. A visitation made them the following proposition :
If left someone to photograph the Sunday after the service , promised
learned their names to the following Sunday. John did this until he
finished his work with the church in 1995. Fulfilling its promise, could be
learned the names of more than two thousand two hundred. In the summer
of 2004, the Skyline Church celebrated its fiftieth anniversary and John
and his wife Margaret were to participate in the celebration. John told me
that day [p 154] attended by thousands of people , many of which had not
been seen for years. Fortunately , everyone wore a name tag . "But when I
approached a couple , "she said , " the husband put his hand on the label.
When I called him by name he smiled and said, " I just wanted to see if I
still remembered our names . '" " That does not surprise me ," he said, "
but it strikes me ." John replied , "You know ? At fifty- seven is not so
easy , but still I try to learn me names . " The name of a person is his sign
to the world , more intimate and distinctive possession . I have always
admired the ability of John . In fact, it has inspired me to work as a teacher
to learn me the names of hundreds of students who come to my classes
each semester in college. Why I do? Because I know the name of a person
is his sign to the world , more intimate and distinctive possession . And
when you remember the name of a person , it makes you feel like a million
dollars.
MAXWELL STYLE
The grandfather of all skills books was published in 1937. It was a success
overnight to the point that it sold more than fifteen million copies. Speak
of the book How to Win Friends and Influence People ( How win friends
and influence people ) Dale Carnegie. What made that book was so
appreciated was the Carnegie understanding of the human nature. I love

their simple words of wisdom . Something I learned Carnegie was this:
Remember it and use the name of a person. "If you want to make friends ,"
he wrote , " strive to remember them. If you remember the name , I will be
giving a subtle compliment ; I will be indicating that I have made a
impression on you . Remember name and in doing so I will be giving
more value and a sense of importance . " What was true in 1937 as it is
now in this hectic world . These days, an account number or a title often
replace the name of a person. Remembering names can help you enlarge
your image staff, improve your style and most importantly, increase your
impact on others . And when you strain in not only learn the names of their
clients and important friends , but also everyone he interacts ; by The
postman , the person in the laundry or shop owner in the neighborhood,
will be able to reach another level of connection in their relationships. If
you want to improve your skill with the names , here are some suggestions
:
RECOGNIZE THE IMPORTANCE OF A NAME
How do you feel when someone calls you the wrong name ? What about
when a person spends time with and still cannot remember his name? And
how do you feel when you have not seen someone for a long time and she
does remember his name? Does not it feel good ? ( You do not impress ,
anyway? ) When people remember their name , they are making you feel
valued. The playwright William Shakespeare wrote, " A good name , a
man or a woman, is a gem for soul. One who steals wallet is stealing
garbage ; but that swiping good name , robs me of that which not enriches
him so , and I truly impoverished . "
SAVE BY USING THE METHOD
My friend Jerry Lucas, who is known as the " Doctor Memory" has
dedicated his life, after his great career in the NBA, to assist school
children and adults for that improve their memory through a variety of
innovative techniques. One is the method called 'SAVE' ( Save, which
means "save" or "Save" is the word in the English language is used for
storing information on a computer. N. of Trad . ) . It works this way :
S ( Say the name) Say the name of the person at least three times in the
conversation.
A ( Ask) Ask a question about the name of that person ( for example , how
do you spell it? )
V ( Visualize ) Visualize a physical or character trait of the person .
E ( End) Complete the conversation by mentioning the name of the
person.
Several years ago Jerry showed how useful this method was when he
remembered the names of all persons at the hearing of the program The
Tonight Show ( a television very famous in the United States. N. of
Trad . ) . I think it can also help you remember names and last names of
people you know .
IF YOU FAIL TO MEMORY ...

Almost everyone has trouble remembering names. When this happens to
you , try to remember the time when he met that person or the last time he
saw her. If you still can not remember , then ask , "How long has it been? "
Maybe that will help . If you are with a friend or colleague , sometimes
can help each other find with people. Introduce the person whose name
recalls the person whose name you do not remember ; It is likely that the
presented say their names. Or maybe you can agree with your friend in
advance to help each other. My wife and I do that. When we are presenting
, Margaret knows that if I do not show him to that person 's name because
I'm not sure or do not remember his name. She quickly introduces herself
to make the other person say his name. When all else fails , just say " I'm
sorry; I remember you but I'm afraid I forgot his name. " once that the
person has given his name again , use the SAVE method to make it less
prone to forget the future .
DO NOT FEEL SO BAD IF YOU FORGET A NAME
If you strive , achieve gradually remember the name of the people .
However, do not be too hard yourself when you are wrong . That
happened to me recently with a couple named Lake. One of the things I do
when I learn a name, the name is associated with a mental image . When I
was introduced to the Lake, immediately made a mental image of a lake as
Lake translated into Spanish means lake and thought in Hargus Lake
where I grew up . A few days later when again, I made a mistake by asking
, "How are the Hargus ? ' gentlemen will sometimes make mistakes .
LES ... recap

You do not need a research study to assess the points that John makes
about the value of remembering the names of individuals. However, if you
want to know whether it is supported by studies , could point out one
Mountain research results that show exactly how humor and self-
evaluation of a person better when someone else so they remembered

staff.1 No doubt the value of remembering names people .
Forget: Blaming your 'bad' memory and make an effort to remember the
names of people.
Ask: What can you tell me the origin of its name and how to spell ?
do it: Use the SAVE method with everyone who knows this week.
Remember: The name of a person is his most valuable possession .
23. POINT HIGHLIGHTS OF OTHERS

The praise of others may be useful to teach us, not what we are but what
we should be .
- AUGUST W. HARE

For many years , I have listened to John talk about the " foot soldiers "
who work in your company INJOY . there a handful of enterprising
leaders and people in their twenties and thirties . The leader of this group
since 1996 has been Kevin Small. When John hired Kevin , who was 24 at
the time, he did to lead seminars INJOY . Kevin had a history in the
financial world but had left the corporate arena because I wanted to find a
larger purpose for your life . John told me that Kevin showed a big boost ,
learned quickly and made an excellent job leading the seminars , but in
many ways, that position is not really accommodated their capabilities.
John saw the Kevin inner qualities that needed to be stimulated . Kevin
explained : John was working with me and constantly encouraging me .
Soon gave me the responsibility not only to direct seminars but also to
promote and marketing. I saw that we were doing well . However, I
remember a defining moment in work and relationship with John . It
happened in a meeting with a group of people from our publisher Thomas
Nelson -Caribe Betania . We were thinking of ways to promote John 's
next book , The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership . As we talked , it
became clear to me what needed to do for this book came into the hands of
people. I saw the problem, the solution and the steps that had to give. So I
got into the conversation and explained the process. When we left the
meeting , John looked at me and told me I had a talent for seeing
opportunities . And Dick Peterson , who was chief at the time, said he
wanted relocating to a place where I could add more value to the company
. Over the next two years, John worked with me thoroughly . He identified
three main strengths me and being mentor taught me how to use them ,
particularly to see and seize opportunities. I do not want to give the
impression that everything is done perfectly, because I also had lot of
problems. Often, I found it difficult to relate to people . Often I focused so
much on a vision of Occasionally they passed over the people , but John
also helped me with that. And he sees people as if they all had the highest
scores to be obtained , he always finds the best in every one . And love to
help develop those strengths . John really put me on the road to victory.
When Kevin was four years with the company , John offered him the
position of president of INJOY something too big for a " soldier " who had
not yet reached thirty . But that's what can happen when you point out the
strengths of people and gives them the necessary stimulus .
MAXWELL STYLE
Often people make a mistake in your personal development when they
focus too much on their weaknesses. As a result , spend too much time
fixing their weaknesses instead of maximizing their points strong .
Likewise , it is a mistake to focus on the weaknesses of others. The selfproclaimed " exper80 cough " that may signal bad of others never won
people . Most people simply avoid them. Rather, we should focus on
discovering the strengths of people and point them out. This is why :
POINTING THE STRESSES THE STRONG AREAS OF SPECIAL
GUESTS
Most people have strengths that are rarely used. They can be on the job
skills , knowledge, general abilities , personality traits or other attributes. I
once read an interesting fact based on research that said that each of us can
do at least one thing better than another ten mil. Think about it! You have
a talent that cannot be matched by any in your town or neighborhood ... or
your college or company or industry where he works. Have you found that
talent? If so, you probably already go way to find the purpose of your life.
Otherwise so, would not you like to have someone come and is noted ?
How would you feel with that person ? I assure you I would be very
grateful. Why do not you try to be that kind of person for someone else ?
If you do , you may be helping others to discover for why God created .
MOTIVATED PEOPLE FEEL STRONG IN YOUR AREA
I once read a survey that asked workers in the United States where it was
found that almost 85 % of respondents said they could work harder at their
jobs. More than half of them said that could even double their
effectiveness if they wished. Why? Because very few people are working
on their strengths . Are you excited if asked to work on your weak areas ?
At least I do not. Marcus Buckingham and Donald O. Clifton have done a
lot of research in this field. To learn more , you suggest you read the book
they wrote : Now , Discover Your Strengths ( Discover your strengths ) .
but should know this: When you work using your strengths , not much
external motivation you need . If people suffer for doing the work using
their weak areas and are reassigned to work on your strengths , observe
how rapidly increase their motivation , enthusiasm and productivity.
PEOPLE CAN FILE IF MORE ARE STRONG IN YOUR AREA
I am often asked what is the key of success. I tell you, can be attributed to
three things:
( 1) The goodness God ;
( 2) The great people around me ; and
( 3) The ability to keep me strong area .
It took five years to find out what my strengths , but over the years have
focused attention on less and less stuff. The law of specialization in the
book The 17 Indisputable Laws of Teamwork states: " Each player has a
place to give their best . " That place is their "strong area" . I do serve to
make many things, but There are four that I can do very well. And as far as
possible, try to keep doing those things . As a leader and a boss, try to help
others to do the same. Find their strong areas and that are located there as
much as possible. A successful person finds a place for herself , but a
leader winner is the right place for others . How do I do that ? A successful
person finds a place for herself , but a winning leader finds the right place
for others. First , I look for the best in others. Anyone can see the
weaknesses , errors and imperfections in other . For that you need not have
a special ability. See the good things , that it is difficult. In Player Review
Baseball Hall of Famer Reggie Jackson, the top leaders of the majors have
this ability . He said: "A great coach has a special ability to make players
think they are better than they really are . It forces you to have a good
opinion of you . You do know you believe in your ability . It makes you
more than you think you can give. And once you convince you how good
you really are , you'll never want to play in less than your potential "level .
That's true in all areas of life: business , parenting , marriage ,ministry, etc.
. Look no errors others look their best . Second, I speak. You may think the
best of others, but if it does not say, do not do to help. Always I believe
that all people have a " seed of success" within them. Most never find it
and that fail to achieve their potential. Often I look at a person and wonder
, "What is your seed of success? " When I find out , I say . Then fertilized
with encouragement and timely irrigation . You can do the same .
LES ... recap

One of the most revolutionary aspects of contemporary psychological
research has to do with the term " Signature strength" . Each person has a
number of positive qualities that represent their strengths , but some of
them are more important and closer to the identity of the person. When
you point out those strengths others , research shows that a person is more
likely to use them, to show them and hold on to them as a key component
of its identidad.
Forget : From the weaknesses of others.
ask yourself: What this guy does exceptionally well ?
Do this : Each day this week , tell every person you see what strengths
you see in them are .
Remember: Every person in the world has a seed of success.
24. WRITE NOTES OF ENCOURAGEMENT

The power of words is immense. A well-chosen word has often been
enough to stop a Air Force has changed defeat into victory and saved an
empire.
EMILE DE - GIRARDIN

I always love to see the shrines of the great leaders. You can tell a lot of
people watching where they work. Recently I was in the office that John
has in his house, where he made most of his meditations, where dreams ,
writes and creates. Among his memorabilia , an impressive collection of
works by John Wesley . In fact, it may be one of the largest private art
collections of its kind. And also I am a student of Wesley , I was curious .
"What is your most prized piece in this collection ? ' I asked , pointing to a
shelf of old books. "I think it is a letter signed by John Wesley and a
postscript to his brother Charles ," he answered me , as he led me to where
I had framed on the wall . "Is an important letter ? ' I asked , trying to
decipher the handwriting Wesley . " It's a letter to a friend where you are
giving advice on how to be a father. I appreciate it very much because it
was written by own hand and signature of Wesley " he replied , adding :"
But in terms of important letters Wesley , then we have to consider that he
wrote to William Wilberforce. " In 1791 , William Wilberforce was facing
a daunting defeat in his attempt to abolish traffic slaves in England , "he
explained . "It was then that he received a letter from John Wesley . That
letter , which now is famous , come to be the source of continued strength
for the rest of his life. " John searched his files that spoke of the theme
'breath' and find the text of the letter and read it to me aloud high :
London, February 26, 1791

Dear Sir :
Unless that is inspired by the divine power ... do not see how I can carry
out their glorious enterprise , opposing to that execrable villainy which is
the scandal of religion , of England, and of human nature . Unless God I
have raised for this, exhaust the opposition of men and devils . But " if
God is with you , who can oppose it ? ' Do all they are stronger than God?
Oh , "be not weary in well-doing ! " Continue in the name of God and in
the power of His strength , until even ( the vilest American slavery ever to
be under the sun ) vanishes in His power ... Who that has guided his
youth , continue strengthening it in this and all things, is the prayer of ,
Your affectionate servant ,
J. Wesley
"Four days later" recalled John , " Wesley died . And once again ,
Wilberforce was defeated when the Parliament voted to abolish slavery.
Finally , Wilberforce managed to win , but in the inter83 medium, was
vilified and faced countless frustrations. Their opponents came to
challenge him to a duel and tried to kill him . " John continued: " More
than once he was tempted to stop fighting , but every time I wanted to
discouragement Dam it, went to Wesley 's letter . And every time I read it ,
it was like the first time. He never failed to give encouragement and forces
. "If you do not believe in the power of the written encouraging after
reading this note ," John said, " probably never believe . " I can assure you
that John believes in that power. I have received many notes of
encouragement from you for years and still I keep many of them. They
may not have the historical value of the note by Wesley to Wilberforce ,
but for me are invaluable .
MAXWELL STYLE
If you have not guessed, I 'm a real history buff . Let me tell you the rest of
the story : In 1806 , after a tireless work 20 years , Wilberforce finally got
the amendment to abolish the slave trade was passed by Parliament.
Twenty-eight years later, on July 31, 1834 , slavery became illegal
throughout the British Empire , thus freeing about 800,000 slaves.

Although he did not live to see his dream fulfilled , since he died on
August 5, 1833 , no one did more than William Wilberforce for the
disappearance of slavery in the British Empire. Wilberforce died as one of
the most esteemed men of his age and was buried in Westminster Abbey .
Part of his epitaph reads : as was eminent in every department of public
work , and leader in every work of charity, either to alleviate the temporal
and spiritual needs of his neighbor . His name will always be identified
those efforts that , by the blessing of God , they eliminated England the
guilt of the African slave trade , and paved the way for the abolition of
slavery in each colony of the Empire. Wilberforce had given his whole life
and his political career for a great cause : Ending slavery. However,
perhaps he had not prevailed had it not been for that letter of
encouragement from John Wesley . For many years I have believed in the
power of the written notes of encouragement, long before he received the
letter of Wesley as a gift from the brethren of the church Skyline serve as
your pastor. In fact, it was while conducting this I asked them to church
staff members every Monday devote time to write handwritten notes to
parishioners. Written notes do not have to come from someone famous so
they can animate. A kind word that comes Heart is always well received .
If you have never perfected the practice of sending handwritten notes to
people, then I want to encourage you to try this way to earn often
forgotten people : Behold the why:
NOTES OF ENCOURAGEMENT HAVE A PERSONAL TOUCH
Today we communicate via phone , digital pagers, cellular phones, faxes,
e-mail and the Internet . With such a hurried pace that lead our lives , who
has time to write the old fashioned way ? However, the more desirable it
becomes our communication more is temporary . We have forgotten what
is significant that the personal touch. Few things can beat a note
handwritten by a real person. When you read the thoughts of someone

who respects his writings own hand , that really means a lot. The postal
service of the United States regularly work six days a week. Annually ,
workers Post handled 170 billion letters . However, in this vast sea mail ,
officials say the cards staffs are less than 4% of the total. On average then,
you need to receive 25 cards before you arrive one containing a personal
word. More than ever, a handwritten note can communicate to people that
you care for them.
NOTES REPRESENTING AN INVESTMENT WRITER
In his book The Power of Encouragement ( The power of the stimulus) ,
friend David Jeremiah says, " The breath written comes straight from the
heart , without interruption and without inhibitions. That is why it is so
powerful.
" Do not you think it is right? " The breath is written straight from the
heart , without interruption and without inhibitions. That is why it is so
powerful. "
- David Jeremiah
Nineteenth century writer Walt Whitman fought for years for someone to
be interested in his poetry. He discouraged much . One day he received a
note saying : " Dear sir , I am not blind to the worth of the wonderful gift
Leaves of Grass ( Leaves of Grass ) . I consider it the most extraordinary
piece of wit and wisdom that has been written in America . I greet you at
the beginning of a great career . " It was signed by Ralph Waldo Emerson.
I cannot imagine what would have happened to Whitman if Emerson had
not invested in it to write those friendly words. That note was like fresh air
for Whitman, who breathed the stimulus and thus was inspired to keep
writing . But you do not have to be a professional writer to make a
difference in life a person . Merely take time to write is evidence of their

desire to invest in it.
NOTES ARE REMEMBERED LONG AFTER THE WRITER HAS
FORGOTTEN
For years , I 've made up my mind to write personal notes to others .
Usually I forget what written , but occasionally someone who received a
note from me shows me and tells me of the great stimulus that was for him
or her. It is in those moments that I remember the constant and repetitive
encouragement that people receive a word written . You do not know if
something else writes to illuminate them during their darkest moments or
sustained over difficult times. In the first book Chicken Soup for the Soul ,
the teacher, Sister Helen Mrosla recounts how timely task in class became
a source of encouragement for their students. One day, when their high
school students math class were very irritable, asked them to write
something they liked of their peers. She then compiled the results at the
weekend and delivered the following Monday. Years later, one of his
students , Mark , died in Vietnam. She and some of her former classmates
were found at the funeral. Then Mark's father told the group : " They
found this on Mark when pocket died " and showed a rather shabby paper.
It was the role that he had received from his teacher for many years. After
that, Charlie , one of the co- Mark said, " I keep mine in the desk drawer ."
The wife Chuck said , " Chuck put his in our wedding album ." "I also
save my mine," Marilyn said, " in
daily . " Vicky , one of the students , reached into her purse and pulled out
her role really run out and showed it to his teacher and his former
colleagues . All had treasured the kind words of encouragement they had
received. That's the power of a few kind words.
LES ... recap

When given a written note to another person , generally perceived as more
authentic and genuine than the spoken word. Perhaps you will take some
time cost to write notes to others because he thinks verbally praising
people is enough. If so , you might be surprised by recent research on the
subject of authenticity, which found that when given a written note to

another person , generally perceived as more authentic genuine and that
the word hablada. There are no doubts about the value of the notes of
encouragement written to others.
Forget: From being a perfect writer rather write with heart.
ask yourself: What can be said to be incentive for someone now and in
the future?
do it: Take an hour today to write several notes to some people with the
sole purpose of encouraging them .
Remember: Words have the power to stimulate even long after the writer
has forgotten .
25. HELP PEOPLE SUCCEED

" The surest way to know how well they had played was to see how much
had been done to my colleagues decided good '.
-BILL RUSSELL , WINNER OF MORE CHAMPIONSHIPS THE NBA
THAT ANY OTHER PLAYER .

If I ever met someone who loves to see people succeed, this is John
Maxwell. That is why who writes books and conducts seminars and
conferences. He thinks he has something to offer to others to help them
success. But John also helps people succeed in a smaller scale, this is
teaching her daughter how to sell candy door to door to school as a child ,
taking the time to counsel a pastor who is going through a hard time or
giving you the opportunity to a young " soldier " as Kevin Small to
become the president of one of his companies . John loves and enjoys
success much seeing others succeed too. For many years, John held a oneday seminar where he taught the pastors and members of their churches
how to join in volunteer work . At the end of the session, used to tell one
of my favorite stories. I feel that well typifies his attitude to help others .
When his nephew Eric was seven , he prepared to participate in their first
game of the first season Little League Baseball. John and Margaret went
to watch the game and of course, John wanted to help you succeed .
This is the story as John usually account :
Eric had never played baseball before . He felt intimidated , scared, full of
fear . And his coach thought this was the World Series! Eric walked to the
pad. His helmet was very large, even larger uniform and he could hardly
hold the bat. I was petrified, facing the pitcher of the other team , which ,
as always, was larger child. His name was Butch ; I was chewing gum and
his expression security. Eric means embracing the bat , close your eyes
and pray. And the first ball flies ! Strike one . Oops! Strike two . Ay !
Strike three . That's it ; and when the referee says, " Out " Eric is happy
just because of leaving I live. While walking back to his seat , his parents
cheer him and his coach too. And there I am thinking , that's nephew is
scared. So far as he is low and say, "Honey, I do not know what you have
said about baseball , but let your Uncle John show you something .
Baseball is a very simple game. " He asks me, " What do you mean ? "
I say, ' Just do one thing. The next time you touch hit every time you
launch the Butch ball, you just have to swing the bat. That's all you have
to do. Butch throws the ball; you swing your bat . Butch throws the ball;
you swing your bat . " He looks at me and says, ' That's all I have to do ? "
I say , "That 's it. Do not worry about hitting the ball ; just swinging the
bat. " And when you smile draws on his face and says, ' I can do that . " I
say , "Sure you can ! Consume them , boy . " The next time you hit Eric
touched , Butch Eric threw the ball and swung the bat. The ball passed
over him . In fact, as late hit the ball was already in the catcher's mitt . I
started clapping while saying : "Excellent batting , Eric, excellent batting ,
that is! Butch Every time you throw the ball , swinging the bat . " Butch
threw the ball ; Eric swung his bat. Butch threw the ball ; Eric swung his
bat again. Finally , we eliminated the third strike . I stood shouting, " Eric
McCullogh , deleted that was the best I've seen in life. All right ! " At that
time , the coach looked into the stands and gave me an angry look . The
other parents were not happy . Margaret said, " Honey, I 'm in the car and
read a book." But I did not care , because that after batting , Eric was
smiling. Now, to be honest , I did not think Eric out for a homer that day.
Moreover, in the Little League Baseball, there is no such thing as a hit. If
there is any kind of contact , not that I hit the bat to the ball ; this is the
ball has hit the bat. And there's one thing I know: if the ball hits the bat ,
does not go far ; just something . And in Little League Baseball , if the ball
is inside the box , you do not stop running . Well, did not think it would
happen , but it happened. The third time he went to bat , Butch threw the
ball , Eric swung his bat and the ball hit the bat. There was a strong hit. It
was a hollow sound . As soon as that the ball was in the area, stepped off
the platform and ran to first base , saying, "Eric , keep running , keep
running ! " While Eric went through first base, I ran as fast as I could to
third base as he yelled : "Come on Eric , come on! " Eric got past third
base and together we reached ' home '. Eric got up , shook the dust from
his uniform , I did the same with the bag; and when we were leaving the
field , the coach looked at me and smiled . That day we went to Eric's
house . His parents had to work so they could not see the game ; but We
told him . There I was in the middle of the room , pretending to be Butch
and Eric was near the piano there as if he were batting pad . I made the
shot ; he hit . He ran around the bases and threw for be under the piano
bench . All got up and gave a standing ovation. That day , Eric began his
career in Little League Baseball. Eric is now an adult , but when I was
graduating from high school , came to visit . He said, " Uncle John , I have
something very exciting to tell you. Do you remember the first baseball
game of the Little League ? " "Of course I remember ," I said . And we
made memories of that game. " I've never forgotten ," Eric said . " I just
wanted to tell you that this year going to college with a scholarship
baseball . " You do not have to be rich , famous or talented to help others
succeed , you only need to give the best of themselves and worry about
them. And you should know this: When you have the opportunity to help
someone succeed , you will be at life friend of that person.

"One of the most beautiful compensations of this life that no man can try
to help another without estarse helping himself . "
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Helping someone to succeed is one of the best feelings in the world. I have
not met anyone so far not want to succeed. And everyone I know who
have made an effort to help others have told me that it has been the most
rewarding of their lives. As the poet Ralph Waldo Emerson said, " One of
the most beautiful compensations of this life that no man can try to help
another without helping himself estarse
If you want to help others succeed , follow these steps:
BELIEVE IN PEOPLE
After a conference in Toledo, a man came up and asked me a question :
"How can I get results amazing of a person ? "" Please incredible
expectations that person "was response. If you do not believe in people,
you are unlikely to be doing something to help them succeed . people
know when someone does not believe in them because they can see
through the pretense and false pats, but when know that you believe in
them , the magic starts to happen. Told by the writer John Spalding is
true : " Those who believe in our ability do more than stimulate . They
create an atmosphere for us in that facilitates success. "
GIVE THEM TO PEOPLE HOPE
A reporter asked the Prime Minister Winston Churchill, who directed
Britain during difficult moments of World War II , what was the weapon
which had its powerful country against the regime Nazi . Without
pausing , Churchill said, " The most powerful weapon which England has
always had is
hope. " Esperanza is one of the most powerful and dynamic words of
Spanish. It gives us energy to continue Later in the most difficult moments
and power fills us with excitement and anticipation to look to the future .
It is said that a person can live forty days without food, four days without
water, four minutes without air , but only four seconds without hope. If
you want to help people succeed , it must become a supplier hope.
FOCUS ON THE PROCESS , NOT ONLY IN THE WIN
Many of us want to succeed so much that we forget what it takes to get
there. We are like the child who when playing chess with his grandfather
and lost, says, "Oh no! Again ! Grandpa, you always win! " "What can I
do, I lose on purpose? " Replied the old man. " You'll never learn if you do
that ." In the Here's how we feel many times, but let's be honest . What is
more satisfying triumph : easy or it cost us jobs ? When you help someone
succeed , not regale her goal , even if it is in your power to do so. Help
him succeed. If it helps you in the process , he will not be giving the
victory but you'll be giving the means to have additional victories in the
future. You can succeed again and again . And the only thing sweeter
success is success many times.
UNDERSTAND THAT WHEN HELP OTHERS SUCCEED , YOU
ALSO TRIUMPHS
In 1984 , Lou Whittaker led the first all- American group to the summit of
Mount Everest. After several months of strenuous effort , five members of
the [p 179] team who reached the last camp was twenty-seven thousand
feet . I had yet two thousand more when they met in the store. Whittaker
had to make a difficult decision: He knew how motivated they were five
climbers to reach the highest point of planet . However, two of them
would have to return to the previous camp , carry food , water and oxygen
to then return to where the others were. The problem was that after this
work to support these two climbers they would no longer have the
necessary condition to reach the top of Mt. The others would be in store a
day enjoying water, breathing oxygen and getting ready to climb to the top
the next day. The first decision was to stay in Whittaker took camp at
twenty thousand feet to coordinate team activities . The following was sent
to the two strongest climbers to collect supplies ; that was more difficult
decision. The two weakest climbers would rest , renew their strength and
receive the glory of the summit. When asked why not assigned himself to
reach the summit , his answer showed his understanding for people and
the strength of his leadership. He said: " My job was to make others reach
the top ." Whittaker knew that when people make the right decisions to
help a team reach its goal, everyone benefits . Never wasted when others
succeed.
LES ... recap

Remembering , I think of many people who have helped me to succeed in
life . For example, the chairman of the Department of Psychology at the
college you went to debug view . He taught me the steps you should take
and how could he have success. George , a friend of mine helped me
succeed teaching me how to start and run a pro89 radio program . Janice ,
publicist , help me succeed every time I get an interview on national
television to talk to any of my books. Kevin , another friend helped me by
showing me how to develop a successful significant mission statement of
life. Of course , John has also helped me to win race from various angles.
We all like to win ; and no one succeeds without help. More than three
decades ago, he did some research examining the types of people that
related well with others. The study was done with 268 sophomores at
Harvard , considered " the best and talented "and lasted forty years.
Among the findings was the fact that men emotionally recognized that a
good healthy life was not the absence of problems but the way in which
the individual chose to respond to these problems. In other words, these
men saw themselves as winners and helping others to succeed despite their
circumstances. It was not surprising that also had a communication much
more significant than others.
Forget : To see life as a competition where you have to beat all if you
want to succeed.
ask yourself: Who could help you succeed and how to do it?
Do this : Make a game plan . Design a course that carries both road
victory.
Remember: Once you help someone succeed , you will have a friend for
life.
A WORD OF CONCLUSION
PART OF JOHN
Life I wanted people to learn to win others . To achieve this , all that is
needed is believe in people and have a sincere desire to help . I hope that
after reading this book, you also make this. I also hope you do I endorse
the practices that Les and I have shown . If you have already tried some ,
surely have realized that really work. If you want to perfect them , then I
suggest you do the this: Hold a twelve-week program to win people . After
start , select two of the practices and run them every day for a full week.
By doing so , you will be engaging in a process that will ...
1. Being aware of how these principles work .
2. Learn the basics of how to do it .
3. Practicing each until perfect .
4. Turn them into a habit.
You probably will not feel comfortable to start running some of them, but
there is no that cannot master. And of course, keep adding other practices
that learns by itself alone or during the process. All Forms will never
learn too .
My wish: May you continue earning people by helping them succeed.

25 Ways To Win With People

Uploaded by

Document Information

Original Title

Copyright

Available Formats

Share this document

Share or Embed Document

Sharing Options

Did you find this document useful?

Is this content inappropriate?

Copyright:

Available Formats

25 Ways To Win With People

Uploaded by

Copyright:

Available Formats

25 WAYS

A Division of Thomas Nelson, Inc.

Mike Ingram and Monty Ortman,

16. Find the key that unlocks the hearts of others

GREATEST JOY OF LIFE

I am BETTER after meeting you

I am a better person thanks to John Maxwell is part of life. He taught me

1.START WITH YOU

instead of focusing on the misery , have chosen to focus on the

asked you to describe a winner, to a healthy and whole person , I would

obstacles we can overcome. 45% of Americans say they would change a

Don King offered a bout against then heavyweight champion George

LES ... recap

Forget :Anything that makes you feel insecure.

2.PRACTICE RULE 30 SECONDS

makes a positive impact on people . If you want to encourage others

LES ... recap

3.Let them know YOU PEOPLE NEED THE

My dream allows me ...

them know we could not succeed without them. President Woodrow

PEOPLE NEED TO KNOW THAT IS NEEDED

LES ... recap

4.CREATE A MEMORY AND IT WILL OFTEN

A MOMENT WITH JOHN ... TEACHING

TIME: INVEST IN TIME TO MAKE SOMETHING HAPPEN

LES ... recap

5.PRAISE TO PERSONS IN PUBLIC

Admonish your friends in secret, praise them in public.

1. They make things happen.

A MOMENT WITH JOHN ... TEACHING

PRAISE WHEN VALUE INCREASE IN VALUE TO THE PERSON

PRAISE IN PUBLIC ARE MORE EFFECTIVE THAT MAY GIVE

provision. How did he do ? Among other things , gave great importance to

LES ... recap

To apply the teaching of John to his own life ...

6. GIVE THEM A REPUTATION TO OTHERS HAVE TO KEEP

LES ... NOTING PRACTICE IN ACTION

HAVE A HIGH OPINION OF PEOPLE

LES ... recap

7.SAY THE RIGHT WORDS AT THE RIGHT TIME

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Suitable those words at the right time encourage me .

Be SENSITIVE TIME AND PLACE

" Apples of gold in settings of silver is a word spoken should ."

LES ... recap

perceive him as someone honorable. Surely see him as someone who

8. ENCOURAGE THE DREAMS OF OTHERS

UNDERSTAND THAT DREAMS ARE FRAGILE

they of his own dreams . So try to overthrow anyone who is shooting at

ENCOURAGE OTHERS TO GO AFTER THEM YOUR DREAMS IS A

LES ... recap

Technically speaking , a This is called " resonance performance model ',

9. GIVE THEM THE MERIT TO OTHERS

LES ... NOTING PRACTICE IN ACTION

improve ? How to motivate reach their potential? If you highlight the

LES ... recap

To apply the teaching of John to his own life ...

10. GIVE YOU THE BEST

something special when is added creativity. Anything you can do

LES ... recap

11. SHARE A SECRET WITH SOMEONE

a million dollars. It is not a secret, how powerful it can be to share

LES ... recap