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TRAINERS GUIDE

What you heard is


NOT what I said!
The Keys to Effective Communication

Course designed by:

JCI Sen.

Reginald T. Yu, ITF 101

JCI Manila (Philippines)


E-Mail: reggieyu@pacific.net.ph

Credits:
Communicating Effectively (The Briefcase
Books)
By Arredondo, Lani
Published by McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc.
2 Penn Plaza, New York, NY 10128, USA
Copyright 2000
Website: www.books.mcgraw-hill.com

The Undiscovered Self


By Jung, Carl G.
Published by New American Library
375 Hudson Street, New York, NY 10014, USA
Copyright 1958
Website: www.penguinputnam.com

Speak for Success


By Ward, Susan
Published by The New York Times Company
229 West 43rd Street, New York, NY 10036
Phone: (1-212) 556-1234
Website:
http://sbinfocanada.about.com/od/speakforsuccesscourse/a/spee
chlesson1.htm

Barriers to Effective Communication


By Wilson, Brian
Published by College of Marin
835 College Avenue
Kentfield, CA 94904, USA
Phone: (415) 485-9322
Email: brian.wilson@marin.edu
Website: http://www.marin.edu

Whats My Communication Style?


By Bearley, William L.; Eicher, James P., Jones, John E.
Published by HRDQ Experience Learning
2002 Renaissance Boulevard #100
King of Prussia, PA, USA 19406-2756
Phone: (610) 279-2002
Email: custserv@hrdq.com
Website: www.hrdq.com

What You Heard is NOT What I Said! The Keys to Effective Communication

Course Outline
SUMMARY

OBJECTIVES

What You Heard is NOT What I Said!


The Keys to Effective Communication
In this seminar, participants will explore ways on how to communicate effectively, as a
way of understanding themselves and others. It incorporates methods stemming from
the right combination of tone of voice, words, body language and pace of speech and
actions. These four areas make up the components of a persons behavioral style. It
aims to adapt our behavior in order to communicate effectively with others.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.

MAIN POINTS

LENGTH
PARTICIPANTS
EQUIPMENT

MATERIALS

REFERENCES

1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.

Opening
Effective Communication: What is it?
The Communication Process
Communication Styles
Key Communication Skills
Barriers to Communication
In summary
Evaluation and Closing

Minimum length: Half-Day; Maximum length: Two (2) Days


Unlimited
1.
2.
3.

Laptop or desktop computer


LCD projector and screen
Whiteboard and marker

1.
2.
3.
4.

Participants Guide (handouts)


Communication Style Assessment Forms (handouts)
Permanent marker (one for each group of at least 2 participants)
Writing Instrument per participant

1.

Arredondo, Lani. Communicating Effectively (The Briefcase Books) McGraw-Hill


Companies, Inc., USA, 2000.
Jung, Carl G. The Undiscovered Self. New American Library, USA, 1958.
Ward, Susan. Speak for Success. The New York Times Company. New York,
USA, 2007.
Bearley, William L.; Eicher, James P., Jones, John E. Whats My Communication
Style? HRDQ Experience Learning. Pennsylvania, USA. 2007.

2.
3.
4.
ROOM LAYOUT

To learn what comprise effective communication and its various components.


To become aware of your own communication style and its strengths and
weaknesses.
To learn and practice key skills that will make your communication more effective.
To understand behavior patterns that are barriers to effective communication
To become motivated to use the tools and techniques immediately for improving
your communication.

Classroom

What You Heard is NOT What I Said! The Keys to Effective Communication

Time, Slides and Materials

Minimum: Half-Day
Maximum: Two Days

Notes for the Trainer

What You Heard is NOT What I Said!


The Keys to Effective Communication
1.

OPENING

Show Slide 1, What You Heard is NOT What I Said! and leave it up until you
start the session.
A.

Welcome

Start the session on time. Welcome all participants and thank them for attending
the seminar. Explain that the session is about how to become a more effective
communicator, which they can apply outside JCI. Urge them to participate,
disagree, debate, ask questions and try to learn as much as possible during the
session.
We are going to share some ideas about how to communicate effectively and I
really hope to hear your input and ideas on this topic, not just mine. We can
agree with each other or disagree and that is fine, but we need to be respectful of
each others opinions while debating the content of the course. Actively
participating by contributing ideas and opinions will be an important factor in
effective learning during this seminar. To get the best results from the session,
total involvement is required from each participant.
Communication is the ability to share information with people and to understand
what information and feelings are being conveyed by others. Communication can
take on many forms including gestures, facial expressions, signs, vocalizations
(including pitch and tone), in addition to speech and written communication.
Communication skills are important to developing professional and personal
relationships. Relationships begin and grow through communication, and the
quality of communication influences the quality of the relationships. Effective
communication skills are essential. Without them, one's effectiveness in all roles
in life- professional, leader, manager, parent, friend, etc. is limited.
The process of verbal interaction is important to maintaining our health and
emotional well-being. Communicating effectively with others is an important
characteristic of leadership and it shapes our success. When we share our
experiences and feelings sincerely, we come to realize that all of us experience
emotions, but that each of us experiences them in our own way. We can
recognize the similarities among us as well as our individual differences.
Failures in communication happen when the message received is different from
the message intended. That is why we call this course, What You Heard is NOT
What I Said!
B.

Introductions

If the participants do not know each other, ask them to introduce themselves,
stating their name, chapter, position in the chapter and the reason that they
decided to attend this particular seminar (i.e. their expectations for the
seminar).
What You Heard is NOT What I Said! The Keys to Effective Communication

Time, Slides and Materials

Notes for the Trainer


C.

Objectives

Most organizations, JCI included, do a great job in training their members and
officers in on-the-job skills, but completely overlook interpersonal skills training.
How important is communication training? We often take our ability to
communicate for granted. We use various forms of verbal and non-verbal
communications in nearly everything we do, and we generally give little thought
to the process. Communication is, however, both an art and a science, and
requires our full attention and consideration if we are to use it skillfully.
Show Slide 2, Objectives and leave it up as you discuss the objectives for the
seminar.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.

To learn what comprise effective communication and its various


components.
To become aware of your own communication style and its strengths and
weaknesses.
To learn and practice key skills that will make your communication more
effective.
To understand behavior patterns that are barriers to effective
communication.
To become motivated to use the tools and techniques immediately for
improving your communication.

The fact is that the majority of the problems and conflicts we experience in our
personal lives and at work stem from our failure to communicate well. Each of us
lives in a very subjective world of individual perception. Every individual sees the
world through a lens of subjectivity, and filters all input through that lens. In our
interaction with others, we tend to assume that our words and actions are
understood as we intended them. Unfortunately it just doesn't work out that way.
We misinterpret and are misunderstood and don't usually realize it until conflict
arises.
2.
EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION: WHAT IS IT?
Effective communication skills are essential in determining our ability to have
rewarding relations with others and to achieve satisfaction in life. The quality of
our relationships with friends, spouses, children, and colleagues are all
dependent upon sound communication skills. In fact, it is often our failure to
communicate effectively that leads to personal disappointment and the
breakdown of important relationships. Unfortunately, we often leave the success
of important relationships to chance until communication fails and the
relationships begin to deteriorate. By then, however, it may already be too late.
Show Slide 3, Effective Communication: What Is It? Divider Slide and
ask the class why organizations need to nurture this skill. Use the whiteboard
and write down the responses of the participants or ask a participant to come up
and help you write down the responses of the class. Be careful not to interject
your own thoughts and ideas into this exercise as it is very important that the
class come to a bit of a consensus as to what the value of a communications
(and therefore, the purpose of this seminar) means to them.
Be sure to offer questions to keep the debate lively and open-ended. For
What You Heard is NOT What I Said! The Keys to Effective Communication

Time, Slides and Materials

Notes for the Trainer


instance, if participants tend to focus on the benefits of communicating effectively
within a voluntary organization like JCI, ask them in what other avenues we see
the need for effective communications (i.e. personal relationships with ones
significant other, family, or work-related situations).
Also, encourage them to add more reasons why communicating effectively is
important. In the end, summarize the comments of the class, which are written on
the whiteboard and obtain the agreement of the class as to whether this
summary is sufficient to warrant the publication of a newsletter.
Show Slide 4, Effective Communication: What Is It? (Slide A) and leave it
up as you discuss with the class each one of the major reasons for such:
1.

2.

Communication is we can do to give and get understanding. It is an


exchange of words and meanings, a two-way process of sending and
receiving messages.
Effective communication occurs when there is shared meaning. The
message that is sent is the same message that is received. There must be
a mutual understanding between the sender and the receiver for the
transmission of ideas or information to be successful.

Communication involves so much more than just words. Body language has a
significant impact on communication. What is said and how it is said is equally
important. The sound of the voice, the facial expression, and the body posture
carry strong messages.
Show Slide 5, Effective Communication: What Is It? (Slide B).
Its easier to say that the other person doesnt understand than to work to
understand the other person. Each person shares equal responsibility or blame
when communication is difficult or isnt working. Try looking at the world from the
other persons perspective. Walk a mile in his shoes.
A definition of Effective Communication, therefore, could be broken down into
the following elements:

3.

Using language that is appropriate to others' levels of understanding.


Making sure others receive the information or knowledge intended.
Developing relationships with others.
Talking with others in a way that facilitates openness, honesty and
cooperation.
Providing feedback.
THE COMMUNICATION PROCESS

Show, Slide 6, The Communication Process Divider Slide


Communication is the exchange of messages between people for the purpose of
achieving common meanings. It is a way of exchanging and sharing ideas,
attitudes, values, opinions, and facts.
Ask class for their thoughts on how a communication process goes. Elicit their
opinions on what makes an ideal communication process.
What You Heard is NOT What I Said! The Keys to Effective Communication

Time, Slides and Materials

Notes for the Trainer


Use the whiteboard and write down the responses of the participants or ask a
participant to come up and help you write down the responses of the class. It is
important here that the participants get a chance to share what they think are
the components in a complete communication cycle and determine possible
misconceptions and how to correct them.
Tell the class that, while the list of characteristics drawn up by the class is
important, it is even more important to first ask the basic elements which make
up an effective communication process.
Show, Slide 7, The Communication Process (Slide A)
Significantly, communication is a process that requires both a sender, who
begins the process, and a receiver, completes the communication link. In an
organization, the communication process is very important for those leaders to
transform the orders to their members, transform the concepts to their
constituents, and also can help the members to report their working processes.
As a result, to totally understand the process of communication is compulsory for
both the leader and the members in an organization.
Effective communication is usually two- way. The two-way communication
process includes:

A Sender- This is the first person to speak or the one who initiates the
communication.

A Receiver- This is the "listener," the one or ones for whom the message
is intended. Receivers are usually interpreting and transmitting messages
simultaneously. They are listening to what is being said and thinking about
what they are going to say when the sender stops talking. Simultaneously,
they may be reacting in nonverbal ways- with a smile or nod, flushed face,
trembling hands or in some other way, depending on how they are
interpreting the message.

The Message- This is what the sender wants the receiver to know. It
includes the verbal message (content) and nonverbal messages inferred
from the sender and the environment.

Feedback- This is the lifeline of effective communication, the ingredient


that distinguishes two-way from one-way communication. Without it,
senders and receivers are far less likely to achieve mutual understanding
about the message.

After the first few seconds, interpersonal communication becomes a


simultaneous two-way sending and receiving process. While senders are talking,
they are receiving nonverbal reactions from receivers. Senders make inferences
based on the receivers' reactions and adjust subsequent communication
accordingly. For example, they may change their tone, speak loudly or use
simpler language. The ability to do this, results in the message being better
understood. It helps prevent miscommunication.

What You Heard is NOT What I Said! The Keys to Effective Communication

Time, Slides and Materials

Notes for the Trainer


Show, Slide 8, The Communication Process (Slide A)
However, if we seek more details of the communication process, we find that the
Mathematical Theory of Communication Model of the late Dr. Claude Shannon,
dubbed as The Father of Information Theory, is the most widely-accepted
version of the communication process.
If we analyze his diagram, the communication process can be analyzed into its
basic components:
1.

The sender is the initiator of the message.

2.

Encoding is the process of translating the intended meaning into symbols


(which includes words and gestures).

3.

The message is the encoding process outcome, which consists of verbal


and nonverbal symbols that have been developed to convey meaning to
the receiver.

4.

The medium is the method used to convey the message to the intended
receiver (such as by telephone, e-mail, reports). Factors to consider when
selecting a medium include relative speed, cost, convenience, intelligibility,
timing, feedback options, and documentation.

5.

The receiver is the person with whom the message is exchanged.

6.

Decoding is the process of translating the symbols into the interpreted


message. In effective communication, the sender and receiver achieve a
common meaning.

7.

Noise is any factor in the communicating process that interferes with


exchanging messages and achieving common meaning.

8.

Feedback is the basic response of the receiver to the interpreted


message. During feedback, the receiver becomes the sender. It also
provides preliminary information to the sender about the success of the
communication.

Why is the study of this process important?


Human success or ruin, even life and death, commonly depend on how well we
communicate. "Human error" is usually cited as the root cause of major
disasters: crashed airliners, fatal mistakes in hospitals and surgery, giant oil
spills, sunken ships, broken marriages, business bankruptcies, extinction of
nations or their borders, civil and criminal court decisions, ruined cities, lost wars.
Although greatly oversimplified, this description of the complex communication
process should have the practical value of putting us all carefully on guard
against the illusory complacency that communicating effectively is simple or
easy. Instead, it is complex and difficult, deserving our highest concentration.

What You Heard is NOT What I Said! The Keys to Effective Communication

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Notes for the Trainer


4.

COMMUNICATION STYLES

Show, Slide 9, Communication Styles Divider Slide


Individuals have various preferences for both communicating with others and
interpreting the communications from others. Numerous models have been
developed which describe how to recognize an individual's preferred style of
communicating and what strategy to use in communicating most effectively with
them.
Ask class for their thoughts on how they would define a communication style.
Elicit their opinions on what makes an ideal communication style if there is one
at all.
Use the whiteboard and write down the responses of the participants or ask a
participant to come up and help you write down the responses of the class. It is
important here that the participants get a chance to share what they think are
the various communication styles, based on their own experiences in
communicating with others.
Show, Slide 10, Communication Styles (Slide A)
If you find yourself frustrated, stifled, pushed, or confused about your current
relationships with your friends or by the people you attract, take a look at the
communication in your relationship and your communication style.
Is your approach to communication well-matched with your current set of friends
or with people you tend to attract? If so, you will tend to be fairly satisfied and
content in your relationships. But if not, you will tend to be frustrated, feel either
stifled or pushed, and may find yourself confused about the relationship much of
the time.
Communication is the act of sending and receiving messages. Style is how we
behave. So communication style, then, is how we behave when we are
sending and receiving messages. Our personal communication style is that
style we use most often, when we are able to communicate in our most natural
way. You see it every day. There are loud communicators and quiet ones.
There are detailed communicators and those who are not. There are those who
are friendly and caring, and those who are more direct and analytical. When we
don't understand those differences, communication can become a problem.
Show, Slide 11, Communication Styles (Slide B)
Although each individual is unique, there are commonalities to personal style. In
fact, most research has found two basic dimensions of style, assertiveness and
expressiveness.
Assertiveness is the effort that a person makes to influence or control the
thoughts or actions of others. People who are assertive tell others how things
should be. They are task-oriented, active and confident. People who are less
assertive ask others how things should be. They are process-oriented, deliberate
What You Heard is NOT What I Said! The Keys to Effective Communication

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Notes for the Trainer


and attentive.
Expressiveness is the effort that a person makes to control his or her emotions
and feelings when relating to others. People who are expressive display their
emotions. They are versatile, sociable and demonstrative. People who are not
expressive control their emotions. They are focused, independent, and private.
Ones personality style is determined by his or her assertiveness and
expressiveness. Four styles result from combining assertiveness and
expressiveness.
Controlling what you say and how you say it are easier than controlling the other
aspects of communication; such as your body language and how you use
physical space. You may not realize that you have folded your arms or raised
your eyebrow, but those actions communication something about what you are
thinking. Even the way you set up your office or how your desk looks
communications something about you.
Show, Slide 12, Communication Styles (Slide C)
The noted psycho-analyst Dr. Carl Gustav Jung, has encapsulated these four
communication styles as follows:
1.
2.
3.
4.

Spirited
Considerate
Systematic
Direct

Each style has definite strengths that are evident in communication.


Knowledge of your strengths and weaknesses allows you to draw on them to
find situations in which your strengths are a benefit.
Show, Slide 13, Communication Styles (Slide D)
Ones personality style is determined by his or her assertiveness and
expressiveness. Four styles result from combining assertiveness and
expressiveness:
1.
2.
3.
4.

Spirited = High Assertiveness, High Expressiveness


Considerate = Low Assertiveness, High Expressiveness
Systematic = Low Assertiveness, Low Expressiveness
Direct = High Assertiveness, Low Expressiveness

Whether or not you are aware of it, your communication style comes through
you. The style that you use most often is called your dominant style.
Show, Slide 14, Communication Styles Model Diagram
A better visual relationship among the different styles is shown in the slide,
created by leading developmental psychologists and human resource experts at
HRDQ, a leading learning materials developer and consultancy firm in the United
States.

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Time, Slides and Materials

Notes for the Trainer


People with different styles often develop misunderstandings that result more
from their style differences than from real differences in their beliefs or opinions.
A certain amount of flexibility is necessary to communicate with people who have
different styles. This means understanding others styles and being willing and
able to adjust ones style to interact more effectively with them.
Recognizing anothers style allows us to make adjustments in our own behavior
to accommodate that persons style. This in turn makes that person feel more at
ease and helps us to achieve our goals more readily. It takes some willingness
and effort to expand beyond ones own style to interact with others. It is generally
appreciated, however, and may make the difference between success and failure
in an interaction.

Minimum: 10 minutes
Maximum: 20 minutes

Communication Style Self-Assessment Test


Show, Slide 15, What is Your Communication Style?
Communicating with others is an essential skill in business dealings, family
affairs, and romantic relationships. Do you often find yourself misunderstanding
others? Do you have difficulty getting your point across clearly? When it comes
to communication, what you say and what you don't say are equally important.
Being a good listener is quite crucial. Find out how your interpersonal skills rate
by taking the Communication Style Self-Assessment Test.
The purpose of this test is to give the participants a
snapshot of their communication style.
Two (2) Communication Style Self-Assessment
Test Forms (one for Speaker and one for Listener)
are then given to all participants for them to answer
in a minimum of ten (10) minutes but not exceeding
twenty (20) minutes.
Show, Slide 16, Communication Styles (Slide E)
After the given time period, ask the class to add the
number of filled circles vertically for each column.
The column which has the highest number of scores
would represent their most dominant style. The columns from left to right
represent the following communication styles, in this order:
I Spirited
II Considerate
III Systematic
IV -Direct
Although many people have a clear, dominant communication style, others
communicate using several styles. Or they may also use different styles in
different situations. Because communications take many forms (e.g. language,
facial expressions, body movements), there is sometimes more flexibility in
peoples styles.

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Notes for the Trainer


Describe to the class the definition and characteristics of the each of the four
different communication styles.
Show, Slide 17, Spirited
People with a Spirited style are enthusiastic and friendly. They prefer to be
around other people and thrive in the spotlight. Because of their positive focus
and their lively nature, they are able to generate motivation and excitement in
others. Spirited people work at a fast pace because they prefer stimulation.
They are well suited to high-profile positions in which public presentations are
important. The spontaneity of Spirited people promotes quick and decisive
action. They are good at building alliances and using relationships to accomplish
work.
Show, Slide 18, Considerate
People with a Considerate style value warm, personal relationships. They often
have good counseling skills and others come to them for support because they
are good listeners. Considerate people are cooperative and enjoy being part of a
team. They are reliable and steady. Because they are considerate, they are
always aware of others feelings.
Considerate people work best in an environment in which teamwork is essential.
Their ability to help others makes them suitable for any of the helping professions
in which they can care for others.
Show, Slide 19, Systematic
People with a Systematic style place a heavy emphasis on accuracy and
objectivity. They make their decisions based on facts and attempt to leave
emotions out of them. Their reliance on data makes them excellent problem
solvers. They tend to be persistent in their analyses, maintaining a critical focus
throughout their work. Systematic people are orderly and prefer to work in an
organized environment with clear guidelines.
Because Systematic people can work independently and follow-through on tasks,
they are well-suited for independent, technical jobs.
Show, Slide 20, Direct
People with a Direct style tend to take charge of their lives. They prefer to be in
control and are quite capable of working independently. They are decisive in their
actions and are high achievers. Direct people thrive on competition. They enjoy
the challenge of a fight and enjoy the win even more. They maintain a fast pace
as they work single-mindedly on their goals. Direct people are good in positions
of authority in which independence is required. They possess strong leadership
skills and have an ability to get things done. They are not afraid to take risks to
get what they want.
In summary:

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Notes for the Trainer


Each style has definite strengths that are evident in communication. Knowledge
of your strengths allows you to draw on them and to find situations in which your
strengths are a benefit.
Show, Slide 20a, Style Strengths
The characteristics of your dominant styles are listed in the slide. It is helpful to
be aware of your characteristics to broaden your understanding of others styles
as well as your own.
All four styles also contain potential trouble spots.
Some of these trouble spots stem from the simple fact that any good thing taken
to an extreme can become a problem.
Show, Slide 20b, Style Weaknesses
The characteristics of your dominant styles are listed in the slide. Understanding
others style trouble spots will help you to recognize times when you need to
adjust your own style to improve communication.
People with different styles often develop misunderstandings that result more
from their style differences than from real differences in their beliefs or opinions.
A certain amount of flexibility is necessary to communicate with people who have
different styles. This means understanding others styles and being willing and
able to adjust ones style to interact more effectively with them.
Show Slide 20c, How Do You Interact?
Recognizing anothers style allows us to make adjustments in our own behavior
to accommodate that persons style. This, in turn, makes that person feel more at
ease and helps us to achieve our goals more readily. It takes some willingness
and effort to expand beyond ones own style to interact with others. It is generally
appreciated, however, and may make the difference between success and failure
in an interaction.
In this slide, behaviors that make interaction with each style more effective are
shown. Ask the class to take a minute or so to study them. If you have time, ask
the class on how they could capitalize on their newfound insight on their personal
and individual communication styles. Ask leading questions which may be
answered by the participants, such as:
1.

What are the positive aspects of your communication style? (include all
forms of communication)

2.

List some examples of how those positive aspects have benefited you in
your communication at work.

3.

What can you do to strengthen your positive aspects or add more?

4.

What are some of the aspects of your communication style that hinder the

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effectiveness of your communication?
5.

What can you do to control or eliminate those hindrances to your


communication?

These insights will be most useful if everyone thinks about how effective their
communication is now and plan how they can improve by highlighting their
strengths and controlling their weaknesses.
5.

KEY COMMUNICATION SKILLS

Show, Slide 21, Key Communication Skills Divider Slide


Interpersonal communication is an art. Some people are naturally good at it, and
they can't really tell you why. They are just great communicators. They get along
with most people and know how to build strong working relationships. They know
how to listen. They know how to get their point across. They know how to
collaborate and negotiate. When they need to confront, they don't hesitate, but
they don't erode the relationship in the process. In fact, the clarity they bring to
difficult situations strengthens the respect that underlies their working
relationships. These people are artists.
Some communication artists have an amazing in-born talent for effective
interpersonal communication. Others have developed their skills through study,
practice and a lot of trial and error. Regardless of how they acquired their
interpersonal skills, effective communicators stand head and shoulders above
their peers.
Show, Slide 22, Key Communication Skills (Slide A)
Interpersonal communication is truly an art, but it's also a science. The science of
clear communication, active listening, persuasion and collaboration is easy to
teach, but hard to learn. Effective communication is situational. The "right" thing
to say or do in one situation may backfire in another. What works with one
person doesn't work with another. Effective communicators have mastered both
the science and the art of interpersonal communication, applying the principles of
emotional intelligence to each situation they encounter.
For this course, we need to realize that there are four (4) basic requisite skills
which we have to develop some level of competence before we can
communicate effectively. These are:
1.
2.
3.
4.

Clarity
Expression
Pace
Listening

Show, Slide 23, Key Communication Skills (Clarity Slide A)


For listeners, one of the most irritating speech habits is a speaker that doesnt
enunciate clearly.

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Notes for the Trainer


When you dont bother to pronounce each syllable of each word properly and
words get slurred together, you sound uneducated. Worse, your listener has a
hard time hearing you especially if theres other noise around you or when
youre speaking on the phone.

Minimum: 5 minutes
Maximum: 10 minutes

Exercises for Clarity: Hear Yourself and Tongue Twist


Show, Slide 24, Key Communication Skills (Clarity Slide B)
Dropping gs is one of the most common examples of poor enunciation. Have
the class say this list of words out loud:

Going
Walking
Jogging
Thinking
Striking
Selling

Did you say go-ing or did you say go-in? If you said go-in (or walk-in, joggin, etc.), youre a G-dropper.
Be warned; this was not a fair test. Pronouncing words in isolation is very
different than what we normally do when we speak.
Show, Slide 25, Clarity Exercise 1: Hear Yourself
Have the class say the following sentences out loud three times each, while fully
enunciating each word:

Im going to have to rethink that bid.


Waiting to hear back from the bank is very nerve-wracking and stressful.
Before starting my business, I looked at a lot of different business
opportunities.
Theres more to learning than just reading, writing and arithmetic.

Show, Slide 26, Clarity Exercise 2: Tongue Twist


Next, have the class say each of the following sentences out loud three times
each, as quickly as they can while fully enunciating each word.

Keeping customers content creates kingly profits.


Success seeds success.
Seventeen sales slips slithered slowly southwards.
Time takes a terrible toll on intentions.
Ensuring excellence isnt easy.
Time takes a terrible toll on intentions.
Bigger business isnt better business but better business brings bigger
rewards.

Because its so hard to perform naturally when were focusing on speaking well,
the best way to determine whether or not were enunciating properly when we
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Notes for the Trainer


speak and stop slurring and mumbling is to enlist a speech monitor.
Its a lot easier for someone else to pick up on our sloppy speech habits than to
hear ourselves. For convenience, choose someone that lives with you (spouse,
child, or roommate), explain that youre working on your enunciation, and ask him
or her to tell you whenever you drop a G or dont speak clearly. Keep track of
how often your speech monitor tells you youve committed this speech offense.
Show, Slide 27, Fillers
If sloppy enunciation is one of the most irritating speech habits, using excessive
fillers while you speak is the most irritating speech habit. Fillers range from
repetitious sounds, such as uh, um and the dreaded Canadian eh, through
favorite catch words and phrases, such as you know, anyway, all right and
like. I wont even attempt to give a full list of them here, because new fillers
such as whatever are continuously creeping into peoples speech.
The problem with using fillers such as these when you speak is that they distract
your listener often to the point that he doesnt hear anything you say.
Your message is entirely lost, obscured by the thicket of fillers surrounding it.
Think about the last time you listened to someone with the filler habit. Chances
are good you spent the time he spoke either being annoyed or counting the
number of times he said the filler phrase.

Minimum: 10 minutes
Maximum: 20 minutes

Exercise for Clarity: Tell Me Game


Show, Slide 28, Clarity Exercise 3: Tell Me Game
This exercise is designed to test the individual participants speech to see if he
uses fillers and to identify his favorite filler words and phrases. He will need to
assign a partner to listen to him.
The coach should tell the participants the purpose of the game beforehand and
arrange the class into groups of two. The partners task is to identify and list all
fillers as his partner speaks. Set a timer for one minute. His task is to speak for
one minute on this topic:

Your businesss products and/or services.

Do NOT allow the participant any time to think about the topic. Just have him
speak. Speaking impromptu will more closely reproduce his usual speech
habits.
Have them continue to use the Tell-Me Game to try and cut down on the number
of fillers they use in spontaneous speech. Increase the time of the exercise to
two minutes.
As the speaker, the participants role is to speak impromptu on one of the
following speech topics for two minutes.

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Do NOT allow the participants to spend time thinking about the topic before they
speak.
1.

Your favorite hobby and why its your favorite.

2.

If you had unlimited resources, what would you do to improve your


business?

3.

What do you like best about what you do? Why?

4.

Whats the worst fault a person can have? Why?

5.

If you could be young again, would you? Why?

As the only way youre going to eliminate fillers from your speech is through
constant diligence, the help of your speech monitor (or monitors) will be
invaluable.
Show, Slide 29, Expression
Speaking in a monotonous voice is a real communication killer. When the variety
of your voices pitch doesnt vary, its impossible for your listener to maintain any
interest in what youre saying. He tunes out quickly. Once again, your message
falls by the wayside.
But even if he did hear it, he probably wouldnt believe it. People who speak in a
monotone or with inappropriate expression in their voices are perceived as
untrustworthy, boring, or even shifty. As a business, sales or professional person,
you can see why youd want to fix this sloppy speech problem right away!

Minimum: 10 minutes
Maximum: 20 minutes

Exercise for Expression: Emotion


Show, Slide 30, Expression Exercise 1: Emotion
The purpose of this exercise is to practice getting more vocal variety into your
speech, so the participants are going to be saying these sentences in different
ways.
First, say the sentence out loud as you would if the participant was ecstatically
happy. Then say the same sentence out loud as he would if he was extremely
sad.
1.

I just got a call saying that I won a vacation in Las Vegas.

2.

Im going to have to change that light bulb.

3.

My next door neighbor has a new Ferrari.

4.

I just got an A in my molecular physics exam.

5.

My mother-in-law is moving to our place.

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6.

Minimum: 10 minutes
Maximum: 20 minutes

Ill be able to retire in two months.

Exercise for Expression: Belief


Show, Slide 31, Expression Exercise 2: Belief
The purpose of this exercise is to practice conveying meaning through
expression in each participants speech, so once again, he is going to be saying
these sentences in different ways.
First, call in five volunteers from the audience in front and have them recite each
sentence out loud as you would if they truly believed the statement.
Then have them say the same sentence out loud as they would if they didnt
believe what they were saying and wanted to convey their disbelief to their
listeners.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.

Youll never regret buying one of these.


This extended warranty is a great deal.
This is definitely a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.
Marrying my wife/husband is the best thing that ever happened to me.
I am on top of the world.
I am proud to be a JCI member.

Perhaps the best source of speech exercise material is childrens books. When
we read one of these aloud to a child, we tend to try out a variety of different
voices and exaggerate the expression in our voices in response to the childs
response as we read.
If you have no childrens books (or children) on hand, remember that any fiction
will work.
Show, Slide 32, Pace
Speaking too quickly is one of the most common speech problems perhaps
because almost all of us tend to speed up our speech when were stressed or
excited. And when are we not stressed when were working? Making a cold call,
meeting a new contact, working on a project with a deadline all of these
situations are stressful and cause all kinds of physiological responses, including
speeding up our speech.
Some people, however, are genuine motor mouths people who always speak
rapidly.
Speaking too slowly is much less common, but believe it or not, there are people
who tend to speak naturally with a rate of speed that leaves gaps between words
and drawls out syllables to extremes.
The trick to speaking at an appropriate pace is remembering that you need to
speak at a rate that allows your listener to understand what youre saying.

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Minimum: 10 minutes
Maximum: 20 minutes

Notes for the Trainer

Exercise for Expression: Pace


Show, Slide 33, Pace Exercise: Phrasing
Because the pace of speech and comprehension are so closely linked, this
exercise focuses on speaking at the optimum pace for making your message
understood.
For this exercise, ask the class to form in groups of two. The partners task is to
comprehend what the participant is saying and give him feedback about his
speech pace.
As the speaker, his task is to tell the partner how to do something in five steps.
He may jot down the five steps hes going to use as speaking points on a piece
of paper before he begins, if he wishes.
Groups may choose one of the following speech topics and think of five steps
describing how to do it. Then tell his partner how to go about it.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.

How to perfectly boil an egg


How to plant a tree
How to send an email
How to handle a customer complaint
How to make the perfect cup of coffee or tea

Show, Slide 34, Listening


The first step in developing skilled communication is effective listening. Relating
to others is impossible unless you can fully hear what they are saying.
Assuming that you truly want to communicate with others, listening is the most
important speech skill of all. Unfortunately, its also the speech skill that is
practiced the least.
Were thinking about other things instead of listening to whoever is speaking to
us. Theres a grain of truth to the adage, in one ear and out the other, except
that often the information doesnt even enter the one ear in the first place.
It will sound strange to refer to this as a sloppy speech habit, but it is.
Were wired to listen; we just dont bother doing it all the time.
Because we can get away with it. Most of the time, the speaker wont know were
not listening. As long as we continue to face him, keep a suitable expression on
our face, and dont do something blatant such as belt out a show tune, how will
he know that were actually somewhere else entirely? He wont.
But you do. And youre the one that has to make a commitment to truly listening.
In other words, I want you to become an active listener. To listen actively, you
need to change from being a passive target to being a contributor to the
communication. Make this one change, and youll improve your communication
skills a thousand fold.
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Show, Slide 35, Set the Stage
Stop whatever else you are doing. Turn to face the speaker and make eye
contact. If youre standing, your arms should be held loosely at your sides. If
youre sitting, place your hands in your lap or loosely along each arm of the
chair. Whether standing or sitting, do not cross your arms, which sends out a
negative message.
If youre sitting, your legs should also be uncrossed. Lean slightly towards the
speaker. You want your body language to send the message that you are
receptive to the speakers message.
Show, Slide 36, Appropriate Advancement
As the speaker speaks, make appropriate comments that advance the
conversation. Just saying um or ah here and there wont do it. You need to
show the speaker that youre actively listening to what hes saying by making
statements or asking questions that show that youve been paying attention.
Like the next technique, summarizing, this active listening technique works well
in both face-to-face and communication situations where the speaker cant see
you.
Show, Slide 37, Summarizing
This is a particularly powerful technique for showing the speaker youve been
paying attention whether youre in a face-to-face situation or listening over the
phone. You can use it during conversation by saying something such as, You
were saying that... and simply restating the speakers last point. Its most
powerful use is at the end of the conversation, when its officially your turn to
respond.
Start by saying, You said that... and then summarize the speakers key points,
closing by adding an action statement, something you will do as a result of what
the speaker has said.

Minimum: 15 minutes
Maximum: 25 minutes

Exercises for Listening: Listen to Me Game


Show, Slide 38, Listen to Me Game
The purpose of this exercise is to find out how well the participants can apply the
techniques for active listening as explained in the last three slides.
For this exercise, ask the class to again form in groups of two, preferably with the
same partner they had in the last Tell Me Game. The partners task is to
comprehend what the participant is saying and give him feedback about his
speech pace.
This time, the previous participant who acted as the speaking in the Tell Me
Game is going to be the listener instead of the speaker. Have his partner choose
one of the speech topics below and speak impromptu for two (2) minutes. His
task is to be an active listener, and apply the three active listening techniques

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above:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.

What are the four things you least like to do? Why?
What are your three best personality traits? Why?
Who do you most admire? Why?
Whats the worst job you ever had? Why?
What would you do if you won US$10 million? Why?

Perform this exercise at least three times, using different speech topics and
working up to a speech time of three minutes.
Youve now worked through six lessons designed to shape up your speech. If
Ive succeeded in my goal for this course, youre now able to speak more
confidently and better able to communicate with your listeners - and this
improved ability to communicate is already translating into more success for you
in your business, job or profession.
6.

BARRIERS TO COMMUNICATION

Show, Slide 39, Barriers to Communication Slide Divider


One of the most common complaints from people is that they cannot
communicate with each other. All of us have experienced, at one time or
another, the frustration of feeling misunderstood and being unable to make
ourselves understood by another person.
Recognizing barriers to effective communication is a first step in improving
communication style.
Show, Slide 40, Barriers to Communication (Slide A)
Remember the Dr. Shannons communication model? A breakdown in any one
of these elements can produce a barrier to communication. The message that
was sent is not the message that was received.
Lets go back to the simpler model of two people talking. We have to remember
that the process of selecting and organizing symbols to represent a message
requires skill and knowledge.
Show, Slide 41, Barriers to Communication (Slide B)
From the part of the sender, obstacles can include any one of the following
reasons:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.

Lack of sensitivity to the receiver


Lack of basic communication skills
Insufficient knowledge of the subject
Information overload
Emotional interference
Conflicting message
Channel barriers

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Show, Slide 42, Barriers to Communication (Slide C)
The communication cycle may break down at the receiving end for some of these
reasons:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.

Lack of interest
Lack of knowledge
Lack of communication skills
Emotional distractions
Physical distractions
No provision for feedback
Inadequate feedback

These factors can lead to a breakdown in the communication process, especially


in groups where there is a greater likelihood that one or more of these factors will
be present. When a breakdown occurs, the result is miscommunication.
The receiver gets a different message than the one intended. The results are
usually negative and can include:

Lost time
Feelings of resentment
Rumors
Poor relationships

Because these results can greatly affect the cohesiveness and effectiveness of a
group, it is critical that all members be aware of them and help safeguard against
them.
7.
IN SUMMARY
Show, Slide 43, In Summary Slide Divider
People today have more choices of communication methods than ever before.
There are . . .

Face-to-face conversations.
Meetings.
Telephones in offices, cars and airplanes.
Memos, letters and telegraphs.
Electronic mail and FAX messages.
Media methods (such as, newspapers, magazines, radio, television).

With so many choices, it is sometimes difficult to know how best to communicate.


Keep three things in mind when selecting a method:
1.
2.
3.

The importance of the message.


The effectiveness of different methods.
The kind of feedback you want.

If the message is important, it is often best to put it in writing. This is especially


true if it is to be sent to several people or there is a need to document that
information was shared. If it is an "oh, by the way . . ." type of message intended
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for one or two people, a phone call or note may do.
Show, Slide 44, In Summary (Slide A)
Ask one of the participants to read the text aloud and encourage other
participants to comment on the text. Should they have questions, now is the time
to entertain them.
8.

SESSION EVALUATION AND CLOSING

Show, Slide 45, Closing Slide


Ask one of the participants to read the text aloud and encourage other
participants to comment on the text. Should they have questions, now is the time
to entertain them.
Effective communication is a skill. It can be learned and improved upon with
practice. This is necessary if individuals are to come together and become a
group. Through the process of communication- sending and receiving messages
- individuals can develop understanding and respect for one another, share
information, challenge each to think differently and find the best possible
solutions to the issues around which the group has formed.
So, lets all Be Better!
Remind them of the importance of taking their individual development training to
the next level with the tools equipped on how to communicate effectively, based
on the principles learned in this seminar.
Allow some of the participants to briefly evaluate the session. If time allows, ask
them for a written evaluation form to be filled out (Feedback Page on the
Participants Manual).
Conclude the session in a positive way, getting a commitment from the
participants to utilize the ideas from the seminar in their own local organizations.
Thank the audience for the time, energy, talents and participation.

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