Professional Documents
Culture Documents
Editors:
Cynthia Debes
Anna Goins
Stacia Gray
Abby Knoblauch
Phillip P. Marzluf
Table of Contents
Activity. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 15
Activity. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 24
Activity. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 25
Activity. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 36
Activity. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 37
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TABLE OF CONTENTS
Assignment Guidelines. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 39
Activity: Thinking About Visuals. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 40
Important Vocabulary . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 40
Invention Activities . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 44
Pre-reading Questions . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 49
Post-reading Questions. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 51
Pre-reading Questions . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 52
Post-reading Questions . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 60
Drafting Your Analysis. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 61
Citing Sources. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 61
Key Terms. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 75
Taking Notes. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 77
Posing Questions. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 77
Activity . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 78
Invitational Writing Readings . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 78
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Writing a Summary. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 97
Activity: Says/Does. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 99
Activity. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 135
Activity. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 136
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Activity. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 198
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TABLE OF CONTENTS
Activity. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 238
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ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
Acknowledgements
We thank Deborah Murray, Robin Mosher, Julie Brogno, and all of our
Expository Writing I graduate teaching assistants, instructors, and students
who have contributed to Writing Communities and Identities.
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ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
CHAPTER 1
If we dont learn how to listen to these voices, in truth we dont really learn how
to speak. Only those who listen, speak. Those who do not listen, end up merely
yelling, barking out the language while imposing their ideas. Paulo Freire
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As the textbook title suggests, you will be joining a community of writers in English 100.
You will build a strong writing community by sharing your written work with classmates
and contributing your own ideas and perspectives in discussions. Additionally, you will
reflect upon your own identity: How is your identity written? What beliefs and values do you hold most important? How do others perceive you? In what larger social
groups do you place yourself? (Note: You may have many different, overlapping, and even
conflicting identity groups that you are a part of.) Building a writing identity is a timeconsuming process. Youll need to figure out what you think about controversial issues,
how your perspectives are different from others, and the reasons why you have certain
beliefs and attitudes. Fortunately, you will be able to depend upon your writing community in order to learn a lot about your writing identity.
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In English 100, you will work on papers that ask you to explore the social factors of
human difference that influence your community and help build your own identity, such
as gender, social class, and race and ethnicity. For writing classes, thinking about human
difference is especially important because good writing begins at that moment where
there are differences separating writers and readers. In order to write well, you need to
examine how your readers may view the world differently from you, including differences
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in beliefs, values, and attitudes that are influenced by gender, race, ethnicity, social class,
age, religion, and geographical location. Some of these social factors may contribute to
privilege, a powerful concept that many researchers use to analyze identity. According
to Allan Johnson in his Privilege, Power, and Difference, privilege is the unearned and
exclusive social and cultural power that some people gain at the expense of other people.
Because it is unearned, these people have not done anything special in order to achieve
it; they simply have this power because of where they are placed in the social system;
conversely, those who are not in the right place in the social system do not possess
privilege.
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Having just read that list of social factors as well as the definition of privilege, you may
feel that you disagree or feel uncomfortable with some of these concepts. This is okay. In
what may possibly be the biggest difference from your high-school writing experiences,
we do not demand your total agreement. The university writing classroom should act as
a space where you can express your frustrations as well as discuss your disagreements.
Universities are not places where everyone agrees. As Gerald Graff reminds us, academic
disagreement is what makes up the disciplines and research agendas of your professors.
If all your professors agreed with each other, and if you always agreed with your professors and the course materials, the university would become an extremely dull place.
However, in order to preserve the writing classroom as a place for healthy disagreement
and conflict, we do ask for you to respect the rest of the members of your writing community and demonstrate good will, patience, and the ability to listen. Unfortunately, television news programs and comment boxes on blogs and other Internet sites are not good
models for how people should respond to each other. Instead of shouting and constantly
portraying gut reactions, we ask for you to listen to each other and listen to yourself in
order to figure out why you hold certain assumptions and ideas. The quotation by the
famous Brazilian educator, Paulo Freire, which we included at the beginning of this letter, talks about this powerful need to listenin order for you to find your own ideas and
place to speak.
We hope that the activities in Writing Communities and Identities help develop your
writing. We also hope that you have a productive semester and a successful academic
career at K-State.
Sincerely,
A. Abby Knoblauch
Phillip P. Marzluf
Expository Writing Program
Department of English
Kansas State University
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Course Objectives
English 100 connects the examination of diverse communities and identities in the United
States (defined broadly as differences in class, race, ethnicity, gender, sexual orientation,
and other factors like religion and geographical region) with the rhetorical concerns of
writing for different audiences and purposes.
6. Conduct research for specific audiences, select and evaluate appropriate sources, and
effectively integrate and cite these sources.
7. Guide their readers with appropriate organizational strategies and meet expectations
of tone and style.
8. Demonstrate awareness of their language choices and practice effective editing and
proofreading strategies.
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Summary of Units
Assignment Names
Gender Analysis
Invitational Writing
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Informative Report
OR
Analytical Profile
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4
Personal Ethnography
Reflection
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Assignment Description
A 4 indicates that your paper is excellent and surpasses the course objectives. A 3
indicates that your paper clearly meets the course objectives. A 2 indicates that your
paper has met the course objectives, though only minimally. A 1 indicates that your
paper has not met the course objectives.
After your instructor has scored your paper, the outside reader will evaluate it without
knowing what score your instructor initially gave. Your instructor will then tally up the
two scores, with an 8 as the highest and a 2 as the lowest. The grade of your final program
evaluation paper will be determined by these scores, according to the chart below:
Final Exam
8
A+ (100%)
A (90%)
B (85%)
B (80%)
C (75%)
D (60%)
F (50%)
No Submit
Class Failure
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If a scoring discrepancy exists, in which your instructor and the outside reader disagree
by more than one point (for example, if one reader scores your paper a 1 but the other
reader gives it a 3 or 4), then a third reader will also score the paper. The highest two
scores will be used to determine your midterm or final exam grade. Thus, if your paper
receives two discrepant scores, such as a 1 and a 3, and then the third reader scores it a 2,
you will receive a 5 for your overall score.
The final program evaluation paper is worth 25% of your overall semester grade. Your
instructor will assign 75% of the remaining grade based on the other major and additional writing assignments that you complete. Out of this 75%, your instructor may use
up to 10% for participation, homework, and other miscellaneous purposes.
At the end of the semester, your instructor will assign your grade based upon the following percentages:
A 90100
B
8089
C 7079
D 6069
F 059
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In addition to receiving an overall semester percentage under 60%, there are three additional ways that you may fail the class:
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Critical Thinking
Students will demonstrate the ability to access and interpret information, respond and
adapt to changing situations, make complex decisions, solve problems, and evaluate
actions.
Communication
Students will demonstrate the ability to communicate clearly and effectively.
Diversity
Students will demonstrate awareness and understanding of the skills necessary to live
and work in a diverse world.
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From Kansas State University <http://courses.k-state.edu/catalog/undergraduate/aboutkstate/>.
Principles of Community2
Kansas State University is a land-grant, public research university, committed to teaching and learning, research, and service to the people of Kansas, the nation, and the world.
Our collective mission is best accomplished when every member of the university community acknowledges and practices the following principles:
We affirm the inherent dignity and value of every person and strive to maintain an
atmosphere of justice based on respect for each other.
We affirm the right of each person to freely express thoughts and opinions in a spirit
of civility and decency. We believe that diversity of views enriches our learning environment and we promote open expression within a climate of courtesy, sensitivity,
and mutual respect.
We affirm the value of human diversity for community. We confront and reject all
forms of prejudice and discrimination, including those based on race, ethnicity, gender, age, disability, sexual orientation, religious or political beliefs, economic status,
or any other differences that have led to misunderstandings, hostility, and injustice.
We acknowledge that we are a part of the larger Kansas community and that we have
an obligation to be engaged in a positive way with our civic partners.
We recognize our individual obligations to the university community and to the principles that sustain it. We will each strive to contribute to a positive spirit that affirms
learning and growth for all members of the community.
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A Word on Plagiarism
Your Student Life Handbook also includes definitions of plagiarism (please see page D4)
and gives you advice for when you need to acknowledge indebtedness:
Whenever you use another persons idea, opinion, or theory, even it if is completely
paraphrased in your own words
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Talk to your instructor if you have any questions on how to cite properly. Please also
check K-States Honor & Integrity System website for more information: www.ksu.edu/
honor.
I have read and understand the Expository Writing Programs policy on plagiarism.
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Since writing is all about reaching an audience, professional writers form writing communities that are in effect test audiences. Through this community, they develop, organize, and focus their ideas, to make their finished products as satisfying to their target
audience as possible.
A traditional difference between published writers and student writers is that students
often have no writing community to help with the hard labor of finding a topic and the
even harder labor of building that topic into something thats meaningful reading. Where
does a student find responsive listeners and readerspeople with whom theyre comfortable? At K-State, they find their community in expository writing classes.
Your English 100 instructor will provide activities to help you and your classmates
become a writing community, committed to responding to one anothers ideas and
drafts. Firstweek activities may include corner activities and spectrograms that will
help you learn about the other students in your class. Other firstweek activities may
include learning one anothers names and actually reading, round-robin style, diagnostic
introductions that reveal facets of those others who are bound with you in the same
required class. Your instructor may also share a few excerpts from diagnostic essays,
focusing on successful examples and detailsimportant components of good writing.
Its easier to trust others when you get to know them.
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As the semester continues, your writing community will work together continually. Youll
brainstorm for ideas, become familiar with the course objectives, practice effective selfworkshopping, and train to respond as peer workshoppers through sample essays. Youll
also become one anothers audience in peer workshops, with an eye to helping others in
your community improve as writers. So, one of your primary roles in your English 100
writing community is that of audiencesomeone who reads, appreciates, responds,
and critiques the work of others. You wont be expected to respond like a teacher or an
evaluator; rather, youll respond as a fellow student whos knowledgeable enough about
the assignment and its requirements to read effectively.
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Hopefully, the many activities offered to you and your classmates throughout the semester will keep you invested in your writing community. Your energy, imagination, and
intellect are crucial to the success of your entire community. Just as youll one day work
with others in your career to achieve specific goals, youll work with your classmates to
achieve the best possible class and the best possible essays.
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Keeping up with daily assignments is part of respecting your writing community; contributing to class discussions and activities requires you to be prepared for each days
lesson. A writing community should be able to trust that all of its members are invested
in common goals.
Trust is also an important element in peer workshops. Activities and instruction will help
you learn how to respond meaningfully to others drafts. Simply responding as a reader
is a proven method for improving your own writing: commenting on others work, even
more than the advice you receive from classmates, helps you to look at your own draft
with new eyes. In a writing community, investing in the workshop process leads to
more effective rethinking, or re-envisioning, of the components of every writers essay.
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Your instructor is also a part of your writing community. Besides coaching you during
invention and drafting stages of each paper, your instructor will also evaluate your finished product: the polished essay. Sometimes, your grade and your teachers praise and
advice will inspire you to do another revisiontoward a clearer focus, better organization, more developed examples and explanations, and/or a more appropriate tone.
Dont be wary of asking your instructor for one-on-one help if you need it. And dont be
shy about consulting tutors in the Writing Center (part of your wider, built-in writing
community). Everyone in the Expository Writing Program at K-State wants you to be
successful at communicating your ideas fully and clearly.
Deborah Murray
I saw Sid Dobrins Call for Proposals for a collection of essays, Dont Call It That: The Composition Practicum,
in February 2003. I knew that I had something to say about this subject, so I wrote Sid an email describing
my interest. So far, even though I hadnt written any of the essay which would eventually be published, I was
engaged in planning and draftingmentally, on paper, and in conversation with friends and colleagues. In
addition, I was thinking about what kind of research this project might need to include.
Unlike some writing tasks where it is not clear who the target audience might be, Sids book has a clear
audience, members of the National Council of Teachers of English (NCTE), especially those teachers engaged
with mentoring and supervising teachers of required writing classes at colleges and universities. I would need
to keep this audiences needs in mind. Would these readers accept my preferred style, which includes a more
personal tone such as that found in a memoir? I asked Sid for his advice, and he told me to follow through the
way you see best for what you are doing.
The next stage of my process included invention and research. I am a multimodal learnerprimarily read/
write and aural. To brainstorm, I scheduled a formal interview with two of my colleagues, Robin Mosher and
Irene Ward. I took notes. I also did some research, collecting at least fifteen articles about teacher training. I
read all these articles, finding support for my ideas in some and further areas for research in others. During the
invention stage, I also drew some rough sketches (mostly cartoons) to help me clarify my ideas.
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With my deadline pressing, it was time to start drafting in earnest. I spent an hour or so at the computer
writing what I call a crash-through draft. These drafts arent pretty, and theyre not ready for readers, but
theyre a necessary part of my writing process. I am a random thinker, so the idea that I might write an outline
before drafting is truly absurd. After writing a crash-through draft, I try to get distance for a day or two
before beginning to revisewriting, crossing out, inventing, organizing, editing. To develop these next drafts,
I looked at my notes, reread some sources, and retrieved some things I had written in emails. I wrote two more
drafts before I felt confident to ask for feedback from my friend and colleague, Robin Mosher.
Though we may not call it workshopping, most experienced writers depend on readers to help us revise our
work. I am fortunate to have Robin to help me figure out how to make my meaning clear. On the other hand,
she and I have similar ideas about the importance of teacher training, so it may be hard for her to put herself
in the mindset of those who might feel differently.
After developing my essay in response to some of Robins questions, I started focusing on organizationat the
essay and the paragraph level. At this point, I knew that the draft needed some major restructuring. Though
I am a random thinker, I sensed that my essay needed a roadmap and a more explicit statement of my points.
To get a more objective sense of my essay, I wrote says and does statements for each paragraph. I typed
these statements and cut them out, arranging them all over my dining room table. This exercise affirmed my
sense that I needed some better topic sentences when I realized that I had to draft says statements for certain
integral paragraphs. After composing a new introduction and several new paragraphs (back to invention
and drafting), I re-engineered my whole paper. After making several organizational changes and composing
several new paragraphs, I printed a draft that I was fairly satisfied with.
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After deleting about 65 words to come in under the NCTE word limit of 5000, I emailed the essaynow
called Why Not Call It Practicum? It Is Practice, to Sid Dobrin. In late November 2004, I received a contract
from NCTE. The project was underway, but it wasnt until August 2005 when I received some revision suggestions from the editors. In response to one suggestion, I revised my conclusion, making it much more forceful. I received my copy of the book in November 2005not quite three years after I responded to the original
call for papers.
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Dave Smit
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I am currently writing a non-fiction book about the life and career of the actress Ingrid
Bergman. I have been working on the project for about five years now, and I have an odd
assortment of writing already done: an introduction to the book, two scholarly articles arguing
a new interpretation of certain aspects of Bergmans life, a chapter on the history of one of
her most severe critics, a great deal of analysis of Bergmans acting and her contribution to
two films, and five or six other chapters in various states of completion, ranging from rough
notesjust raw data typed upto summaries of interviews with Bergman, summaries of
articles about her, and some analysis of problems in interpreting her life. My problem is that
right now all of this is an incoherent mess.
What to do? I have a number of strategies for dealing with situations like this, strategies that
I always use when I dont really know what I am doing. First of all, I just keep going. Even
when I dont know what to do, I still need raw material, so on days when all inspiration fails, I
simply turn to my notes and sources and enter facts and figures, quotations, and summaries
of material in the appropriate chapter file. The theory here is that the more I have to work
with, the easier it will be to eventually make something out of it.
I will also continue to toy with various themes and patterns of organization. I have a tentative
Table of Contents, but I know I will not be able to follow it exactly. Often ideas will come to
me and I will jot them down and throw them in a file. I recently wrote a note that says The
Double Life and put it in the file labeled Overview. It is a reminder of a way to reorganize
the first part of the book.
Most seriously, despite all of the work I have done so far, I dont have a style or tone for the
book. I am writing this book for a popular audience, not the scholarly community. As a
result, the introduction is written in an impersonal third-person journalistic style that moves
right along, but I wonder if I can sustain that tone for 300 pages. The scholarly articles are
too technical and argumentative, so I will have to rewrite them. To deal with this problem, I
will probably rewrite the introduction using a more folksy first-person style to see if I think it
works better. And I will read other writers of popular work about film to see if there is a style
I can imitate. If I do find a style to try, I will read the piece for a few pages to get that voice
echoing in my head, and then I will try to write in that voice myself. It has worked for me in
the past; it might work again.
None of my strategies work all of the time. On some days, when I sweat blood groping for
words and nothing comes, I think I should have become a clerk at Sears rather than a teacher
and writer. But most of the time, even the bad days feel good. There is something about
wrestling with ideas and words that is intrinsically satisfying, even if I spend four hours to
produce five hundred words of barely acceptable prose.
Activity
1. How do these writers processes compare to the writing processes youve used for
classroom assignments?
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2. For a writing task you completed on your own (outside of school), describe your
process. Is it more similar to or different from that youve used for classroom
assignments?
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3. After you review the next several pages, come back to these writers descriptions of
their writing processes. What types of actions and processes seem most important
to each writer?
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Drawing
Listening
Reading
Researching
Talking
Thinking
Writing
Drawing
If you are a visual learner, you are probably already familiar with this activity, though you
may think of it only as doodling. You may not realize, however, that many experienced
writers use drawingsimply sketching rough cartoonsto help them bring their ideas to
life. Sometimes this activity is called something formal like storyboarding. Also, certain
types of invention such as clustering or idea mapping implement strategies that work
well for visual learners. For examples of clustering, see the Informative Report Unit; for
examples of storyboarding, see the Personal Ethnography Unit.
Cluster
Storyboard
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Hayden-McNeil, LLC
Listening
If you learn by listening, it will be important for you to work with partners and in groups
to listen to others discuss ideas. Not only helpful at the invention stage, listening to
another reader describe your essay can help you understand what aspects need revision.
Also, listening to others describe their writing problems may give you ideas for solving
your own.
Reading
This activity is sometimes taken for granted, but be aware that you will be reading throughout the writing process: early on in your process you might read to learn an assignments
goals, to review background information, or while researching a topic online. Later, you
might read other students work, both in workshop and to gain a broader understanding of an assignments goals. When you have written a draft, you read your own writing;
when your teacher assesses your draft, you will read his or her comments in order to
revise successfully.
Researching
This activity overlaps with others, such as reading and thinking, but it includes other
activities as well. You need to be somewhat adept at note-taking, sorting, and categorizing in order to research successfullyeither online or in a library. Also, some primary
research takes place by phone or email, requiring you to know etiquette for these tasks.
Also, you need to be adept at assessing the credibility and relevancy of the various materials you will come across while researching.
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Talking
In his work Thought and Language, 1986, Russian developmental psychologist Lev
Vygotsky (18961934) explains the importance of talk to writing. In our heads, we know
what we want to say (or write); in fact, when we are talking silently to ourselves, we are
brilliant and articulate. Vygotsky calls this stage inner speech. Many of us find, however,
that when we sit at the computer to try to transcribe this inner speech, it doesnt sound
right. Vygotsky says that in order to produce written speech that is intelligible to others,
it is first necessary to move from inner speech to external speech. External speech
can take place during workshop or group activities when you try to explain your ideas
verbally to another personso that it makes sense to that person (or group). Once you
say your ideas out loud, it will then be easier to compose written speecha piece of
writing that makes sense to othersnot just yourself. Asking questions of readers can be
an invaluable invention and revision technique for many writers. Those of you who learn
by talking (and/or by listening) should always make plentiful use of this activity.
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Thinking
Of course, thinking takes place while reading, drawing, and writing, but it is also productive to think about this activity separately. Many writers find that they need a get-distance stepa time to sort through ideas when they are not writing. Some people find
that engaging in other activities, such as running, listening to music, or cooking, allows
them the mental space to think about ideas. Those who are hands-on learners often find
that they can think only while moving around. In some cases, writers come up with topic
ideas; some writers actually mentally draft an introduction or conclusion. Of course, it can
be productive to just ponder without consciously thinking about the project and its goals.
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Writing
There is no magic about writing; indeed, you have to just do it. Sit down and write.
Some writers think they can only compose at the keyboard, but others find that at some
stage they write best with a pen or pencil. If you get stuck during one kind of writing, try
another. Or, circle back to another activity such as drawing or reading.
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Assessment
Successful writers depend on their readers to help them be more objective about their
essays. Also, while reading someone elses essay, you might discover strategies for improving your own work. More and more, the ability to work as part of a team is crucial in
most careers as well as community service. Most significantly, you will not always have a
teacher to guide your writing. Strategies learned through group interaction will help you
become a better critic of your own work, as well as of the work of others.
Throughout this course, we will be focusing on self-assessment, so that you gain a more
objective sense of your own strengths and weaknesses. You will also be reading your
classmates essays in small-group workshop, another kind of assessment. And, of course,
your teacher will be assessing your work, providing suggestions for further revision.
For further discussion of workshopping, see the section under Building a Writing
Community.
Drafting
The word drafts suggests that revision never ends. Nothing is ever perfect, but with
real-world deadlines, you ultimately have to turn in a good-enough draft. You might
have several drafts, from crash-through preliminary drafts to ready-for-grade final
drafts. Even if you compose at the computer, try to make regular print-outs of your drafts
so that you can assess your progress (and in case of computer failure!). You will need to
save all your printed drafts for each assignment, including workshop drafts and drafts
graded by your teacher.
Editing
Though far from the most important stage, editing is a significant part of the writing
processespecially if your document contains factual material that just has to be correct (such as a design for a bridge). Though all the stages of writing are overlapping and
recursive, if possible, try to postpone this stage until you have most of your drafting
done. Sometimes, an overemphasis on making sure something looks good and avoiding
making any grammatical mistakes can lead to writers blocka condition in which you
are unable to engage in any productive aspect of the writing process.
When you do get to the editing stage, it is crucial to print your essay. Research shows
that most writers find it more difficult to find their errors when reading a document on
screen. Experienced writers employ a variety of strategies to edit their writing, ranging from reading their essays aloud to reviewing text a line at a time. If you know you
have difficulty with editing, it is a good idea to schedule an appointment in the Writing
Center. Experienced tutors can help you learn editing strategies, especially if you know
you usually make a certain kind of mistake. Also, if you dont understand a comment
your teacher has made (such as avoid comma splices), make sure you ask your teacher
for clarification.
Invention
Invention can include drawing, listing, freewriting, clustering, looping, and cubing. In
part because invention is multidimensional and ongoing, writers have many names for
this part of the writing process; these names include brainstorming, planning, and
prewriting. In Teach Writing as a Process Not Product, Donald Murray talks about
prewriting:
Prewriting is everything that takes place before the first draft. Prewriting usually
takes about 85% of the writers time. It includes the awareness of his world from
which his subject is born. In prewriting, the writer focuses on that subject, spots an
audience, chooses a form which may carry his subject to his audience. Prewriting
may include research and daydreaming, note-making and outlining, title-writing and
lead-writing. (The Leaflet, Nov. 1972)
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1
Though Murray says that prewriting occurs before the first draft, it is important to
remember that invention is ongoing: it can occur at any stage of the writing process.
Revision
As described earlier, individual revision processes vary widely. Revision is ongoing and
recursive, sometimes writer-directed and sometimes in response to peer and teacher
comments. Because revision is such an integral part of the writing process, one which few
novice writers fully understand, we are devoting several pages to answering frequently
asked questions about revision. Also, we are introducing some strategies for workshopping and revising effectively.
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Analyzing other students papers helps you become a better reader of all textswith
the bonus of further clarifying expository writing assignment guidelines through
seeing what others have done. In that way, its like on-the-job training!
Guided workshopswhere you must answer specific questionshelp you learn specific strategies for looking objectively at a paper, which saves you revising time (and
should make your revisions more substantive).
Q: I answered my teachers question from the margins, but she said I had not
addressed the question substantially enough. What do I need to do?
Teachers ask questions in order to stimulate thought about issues raised by that section of an essay. Usually, these marginal questions should be seen as an indication
that this section of the paper has provoked thought; in fact, this area of the essay
probably needs further exploration or explanation, in order to beef up the muscles
of your essay. Use your teachers questions in the margins as a beginning point for a
focused freewriting.
Q: I developed my paragraphs in answer to some of my teachers questions, but then
some of the rest of my essay didnt seem to fit anymore. What do I need to do?
To integrate these ideas successfully, you will probably need to omit other sentences
or paragraphs that dont fit anymore. Also, you may have to rearrange certain sections of your essay to accommodate these new ideas.
Q: Why does the teacher write questions and comments in the margins of my
papers? And why arent comments written about every paragraph?
In the margins of your papers, teachers often make a few comments as examples.
Some of these comments will praise what you do right; others will offer revision
advice. Teachers do not comment on every little improvement you could/should
make. This is your paper; therefore, you must make the final decisions on what
changes youll make. Youre practicing for the futurewhen youll write without
guidance from a teacher.
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1
Q: How can I interpret the teachers note to me at the end of my paper (either on
the last page or on the rubric)? How does this comment relate to the marginal
comments?
The teachers comments written at the end of the essay should be read as suggestions
for rethinking the whole essay before you revise. For example, if your teacher tells you
that your essays focus is unclear, formulating a thesis is just a start. Youll also need to
reread each paragraph to make sure that it is relevant to your stated focus. Or, if your
teacher tells you that you need more evidence in support of one of your claims, youll
probably need to look back at your notes or even do some more research, in order to
collect evidence which you can add throughout the essay.
These comments at the end of the paper generally address your papers major
strengths and weakness(es), focusing on one or more of the five most important
aspects of good writing: 1) focus and purpose, 2) development, 3) organization, 4)
tone and style, and 5) editing and proofreading. These five areas should become very
familiar to you as you continue to revise your writing.
Generally, you can think about teachers marginal comments as evidence for their
terminal comment. Think of the comment at the end of your essay as the exposition; think of the marginal comments as examples.
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Q: Why doesnt the teacher mark every mistake I make? Teachers know more than
I do, so why dont they fix everything for me?
Though most teachers wont mark every single editing error, you should pay attention to those they do mark. If a teacher has fixed something for you, you should
21
probably make these changes in your revision (once you understand the nature of
the mistake).
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If the teacher makes note of a pattern of error, that doesnt mean that she or he has
marked all your errors. For example, rather than simply marking all your errors, a
teacher might mark one or two representative errors as an indication that you need
to learn how to recognize and avoid this kind of error. For example, one common
error is a comma splice (a kind of run-on sentence). So that you can learn to recognize comma splices (or other common errors), you should schedule an appointment
in the Writing Center to ask a tutor for guidance.
If you are still confused after rereading and rethinking, formulate a specific question,
write it down, and ask your teacher (during office hours or via email).
What you think, once you reread your entire paper very carefully, with your teachers
overall comments from the rubric, the assignment requirements, and the course
objectives all clearly in mind.
And yet, with all these demonstrated benefits, some students still resist any effort aimed
at making workshops successful, perhaps because they have had negative experiences
in previous school workshop situations, perhaps because they just want to rely on the
teacher to just slap a grade on my paper or tell me what I need to do to get an A.
Were hoping that the following activities will help show you ways to make helpful comments on your classmates workwhile avoiding being a bad workshopper. To give you
a sense of the difference between helpful and non-helpful comments, were sharing with
you some of the comments from a class of students who workshopped Kyle Heatons
draft of Free Speech on Campus (found in Chapter 5).
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Activity
Read the following comments written by good workshoppers. Then, after you have read
the comments, answer these questions:
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How would you describe the type of advice given by these readers? What do these
comments have in common?
If you were Kyle, what would you do in response to the advice given you in response
to Question 1?
Considering all the advice given, how will Kyle start revising successfully?
From reading your introduction, which gives your paper an interesting tone and makes me
want to continue reading, I cant place exactly what your claim is. I think it lacks focus.
Your main claim is in the form of a question but it is that students do not know what free
speech is. Mixed in with this are separate issues such as whether limitless speech is
beneficial to the student body. You also claim that this paper is to aid Dean Bosco as well
as telling him what you want him to do, improve the bonds between students of all different beliefs. You need to pick one. Right now it is confusing as to what you are going
to be talking about in the rest of the paper. There are good ideas here. They just need to
be focused and developed better.
I dont think there is a main thesis, yet. It could be something along the lines of: Free
speech is a tough issue on college campuses but few know its definition, importance, and
accompanying limitations which are all things I wish to address
1
1
1
2. Is it clear how the writers sources offer relevant information to the audience?
You make it clear that free speech has always been a topic of interest on campus, but
you bounce around a lot. Are you talking about censorship? Are you talking about hate
speech? And what is hate speech? Can you give examples if this is indeed what you want
to address here?
While these sources are interesting, I dont understand the connection between censorship,
free speech, hate speech, and what these subjects have to do with the student union plaza.
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3. How well does each paragraph explain how the sources connect to the main point of
the report?
I feel that you lack topic sentences, which would highlight your points to the Dean. Within
your paragraphs, maybe take more time to explain a quote after using one: Why did you
pick this line? How does it further your point?
I think that maybe your sources werent the best ones to use, so its hard to explain how
they connect to your main point. You should at least try to explain how they relate (or find
some new sources).
Activity
Read the following comments written by bad workshoppers. Then, after you have read
the comments, answer these questions:
How would you describe the type of advice given by these readers? What do these
comments have in common?
If you were Kyle, what would you do in response to the advice given you in response
to Question 1?
Considering all the advice given, how will Kyle start revising successfully?
What were you thinking in picking such a broad topic? I have no idea what you are trying
to say!
I dont really know what you are talking about. Maybe you should do a paper on
abortion.
Great job!
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2. Is it clear how the writers sources offer relevant information to the audience?
No, its not clear at all. Throw it away and start over again.
If you throw in some figurative language, the teacher will like it.
3. How well does each paragraph explain how the sources connect to the main point of
the report?
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When each unit begins, make note of the scheduled workshop day(s). Note these
dates in your planner (updating as necessary).
During the two or three class days before workshop, make sure you ask questions if
you are unsure about how to complete your draft.
Come to class with a complete draftas complete and easy to read as possible.
If your teacher requires you to bring multiple copies of your draft, do so.
When printing out your workshop draft, take a moment to write down questions you
want to ask readers about your draft.
Arrive to class early in order to meet your group members and get started.
Speak to your reader(s) about anything you want them to pay special attention to
while reading your draft.
As you read your partners draft, make a note of questions you have (even if these
questions arent covered by the workshop guide).
As you read your partners draft, make a note of ideas you get about how you might
want to revise your paper.
Keep track of timemake sure you leave enough time to share both written and
verbal responses with your reader(s).
Shortly after workshop, review your comments from readers. Jot down a list of things
you want to do while revising your draft.
Keep in mind that your teacher will be reviewing your readers workshop comments.
Make sure that you havent overlooked helpful revision advice.
Revise accordingly, once you decide which changes you need to make.
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Revision Plan
Go back to my cluster to figure out what my main focus should be.
If Im still not sure what my focus is, schedule an appointment with my teacher or with a
tutor in the Writing Center.
Several readers thought Pat Bosco wasnt the best audience for this essay, so I better
brainstorm (with my teacher or a tutor) about just who the best audience is for my paper.
Talk to John (one of Kyles readers) to get a copy of his source on hate speech. Review
that source to see whether it relates to my focus or not.
If I cant explain how a source links to my focus, maybe I should leave it out.
Use spellcheck.
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Jack wrote the following after the peer workshop of his Informative Report Memo:
Revision Plan
My partners thought all my facts were good but all of them basically said they couldnt figure
out why a guy was so into sexual harassment/assault. I plan to add why I am. They also want
to know what I want the SGA to do about the problem, so Ill have to add that.
Jack wrote the following after receiving his teachers response to his Informative Report
Memo:
Revision Plan
After workshop, I added that I can never relax at parties because Im always looking out for
female friends, but it must not sound convincing. I got, Why am I interested in sexual harassment? I talked to my teacher and she asked, did I have sisters? and Is two younger sisters
maybe why Im so aware? And then Im thinking how I didnt say how much the talk I hear
from guys since I got to college gets to me because my sisters will go to college soon. And Ive
got close friends that are maybe too trusting around guys because this is a lot bigger place
than theyre used to. So, I know where to go now. I need examples and details.
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I showed my plan to my teacher and she said its a great start, BUT I need to make my purpose
clear to my audience. Why am I writing to the SGA? I guess I didnt really say. I want them to
27
show some support for WAR or MAR and I want them to educate everybody some more. Like
I can put in that WAR went to bars in Aggieville to check on how safe the bathrooms were in
the bars, but MAR is dead on campus. Maybe more putting up posters, writing on sidewalks,
speaking on campus to let people know the kind of statistics women are up against. There are
more women than men on campus so SGA should prioritize. Its a hard job to watch out for my
sisters, my mom, my cousins, and my friends that are girls, but its hard for girls too, having to
be watched out for all the time (and nagged) and not being able to go some places.
Another way to organize your workload is to map out your writing and revising plans on
a calendar. Here is how Kyles plan might look:
Monday
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2:00 pm
Go to library
3:30 pm Class
Practice citing
sources
Tuesday
Wednesday
Thursday
9:30 am
Finish drafting
to prepare for
workshop
3:30 pm Class
Peer Workshop
Day
9:30 am
Appointment
with teacher
4:30 pm
Schedule an
appointment
1) with my
teacher to
work on
Focus!
2) in the
Writing
Center
*P
RINT 2
COPIES,
PLUS
SOURCES!!!
Brainstorm for
audience
Go back to
cluster to find
focus
Friday
Saturday
11:30 am
Walk-in
appointment in
Writing Center
am
Work more on
explaining how
my sources
relate to my
main ideas.
Use spellcheck
and proofread
my paper
Print final copy
and get my
folder ready
to turn in on
Monday
pm
Go to the game!
CHAPTER 2
Introductory Assignments
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What do others need to know in order to understand what its like to be me?
Before you start writing this paper, or any paper for that matter, it is important to get to
know the audience to which you will be writing. The following section includes activities
youll complete with your classmates to start building a writing community and finding
out what the members of that community are like.
The main theme of this course is the relationship between communities and identities.
We each have our own identity, but how do we act and react to others in our community?
Why do we agree or disagree with others values and beliefs? How do our identities intersect with or differ from others in our community?
To help you find a starting place for your inquiry into these and other questions this
semester, you will write a short essay in which you discuss your self-identity and the factors that influence what it means to be an individual. This first essay provides a chance
for you to write about your uniqueness and helps you get to know the other members of
your writing community.
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Though this paper will not be graded, you will share it with your classmates and turn it
in to your instructor for informal evaluation. Its a kind of diagnostic essay. In addition
to introducing you as an individual, as the assignment requires, it also will introduce you
as a writer to your instructor. Your instructor will use your essay to help her/him understand your strengths and weaknesses as a writer.
What do others need to know in order to understand what its like to be me?
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2
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Race
Politics
Family
Religion
Marital status
Friends
Ethnic heritage
Hobbies/Interests/Activities
School
Occupation interests
Hometown/Place of upbringing
Gender
Socio-economic status
Be explicit about what has influenced you and how it has influenced you.
Consider writing about more than one factor that has influenced you.
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Schedule
1. My hobbies/activities are many and varied; I dont prefer indoor over outdoor or vice
versa.
2. My hobbies/activities tend to be physicaloutdoor activities or sports.
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2
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Directions:
Imagine a line on the floor from one end of the room to the other. 0 is in one corner;
100 is in the other corner; 50 is in the middle.
0
100
Least Most
Con Pro
No Yes
Negative Positive
When a criterion is given or a question is posed, move to the place on the line which
best expresses your position on this issue.
0 is January 1; 100 is December 31. Youll have to consult with other group members to determine where to position yourself appropriately.
How would you characterize yourself as a student?
0 is Ive always been an honors student; 100 is My grades are not at all good.
How would you characterize your school work habits?
0 is Ive never worked very hard in school; 100 is Ive worked very hard during
school.
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Be courteous.
Avoid flaming.
Reread to revise.
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DO
DO NOT
To:
janeinstructor@ksu.edu
To:
janeinstructor@ksu.edu
From:
joestudent@ksu.edu
From:
joestudent@ksu.edu
Subject:
Subject:
To:
janeinstructor@ksu.edu
To:
janeinstructor@ksu.edu
From:
joestudent@ksu.edu
From:
joestudent@ksu.edu
Subject:
Subject:
Begin with a salutation. Because many people receive e-mails that are not specifically
addressed to them, such as forwarded and carbon-copied e-mails, e-mail readers need
to be explicitly addressed. Addressing your reader using a salutation also indicates who
should reply to the e-mail.
DO
DO NOT
Yo Ms. Instructor
Dear Jnae,
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Keep e-mail messages brief and thorough. Use a simple, three part structure. 1) Succinctly state your topic, 2) quickly summarize the reason for the e-mail, and 3) make your
main point and offer supporting information. Do not assume that the reader knows the
reason for your e-mail; state the reason for the e-mail in the first line of your message.
While you need to provide adequate background information, exclude any information
that is not directly related to your topic. When you quote from a previous e-mail message, include relevant lines of the previous e-mail conversation.
DO
DO NOT
2
2
2
2
Make your e-mail messages easy to read for on-screen reading. Using all lowercase letters
decreases readability, so use lower- and uppercase letters. Writing short paragraphs also
helps readability, so, rather than indenting, put blank lines between paragraphs (Anderson 53237).
Close with a professional e-mail signature. Do not assume the reader knows who is sending the e-mail. Closing with your name indicates that your e-mail is complete, clarifies
that you are the sender, and identifies for the reader the correct name to use when replying. Also, a formal tone is appropriate, especially for contacting someone for the first
33
time. If the reader has never met you before, an informal tone could be misinterpreted.
When your reader is more familiar with you, you may use a less formal signature.
DO
Dear Ms. Instructor:
I am contacting you regarding the e-mail etiquette assignment for our Expos. 1 class (9:30 T/R).
I do not understand what I am supposed to write in the e-mail message. Would you please e-mail
me a reminder of the e-mail topic?
Thank you,
Joe Student
Sincerely,
Joe Student
Regards,
Joe
Thanks,
Joe
2
2
2
2
DO NOT
Remember that e-mail is not private. Your readers may forward your messages to people
you did not intend to see them. Protect your own privacy and avoid embarrassment or
misunderstanding by considering the following:
Never include anything in your e-mail that you arent prepared for a large audience
to read.
Be careful about mixing personal and school topics in the same e-mail message.
Never write something about a person that you would not say directly to that
person.
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If you have personal information that you need to disclose, ask to meet with your instructor in person. For example, if you have special circumstances that will affect your performance in a class, you do not need to disclose very specific details in an e-mail. Again,
your e-mail message should only include what you are willing to share publicly. Otherwise, ask to meet your instructor in person.
DO
DO NOT
Avoid flaming. Flaming is when someone deliberately sends a hostile and insulting e-mail.
If you are upset about an issue, wait to e-mail the person until you have had time to cool
down. You will regret sending an e-mail that displays your strong emotion. If you want to
discuss an issue that has caused you some concern, then e-mail a request to meet in person. Also, using all caps and too many exclamation points can create intentional or unintentional flaming in your e-mail. Using all caps makes it seem as if you are SHOUTING
at the reader, while too many exclamation points suggest urgency and overexcitement.
DO
DO NOT
2
2
2
2
Do not take delayed replies personally. Sending an e-mail to a reader may be relatively
quick, if servers are running as expected. However, even professionals who use e-mail
frequently are not perpetually online. For example, instructors may have professional
obligations that prevent viewing e-mail for 24 hours or even several days. If you are not
receiving replies to your e-mails, try asking the intended recipient if your e-mail has been
received.
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2
Reread to revise. After completing an e-mail message, take time to doublecheck to see if
you have followed the appropriate e-mail etiquette for your reader. Before you click the
send button, doublecheck for typos, spelling errors, sentence structure problems, and
any unclear communication. Test the readability of the e-mail from your readers perspective. Taking time to revise will save embarrassment.
2
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Activity
The following sample student e-mails do not follow e-mail etiquette. For each of the
samples, identify the e-mail etiquette guidelines that have not been followed. Also, make
a list of suggestions for change that would make each e-mail easier to readand more
professional. In small groups, rewrite the sample assigned by your instructor.
Sample 1
Dear Michael,
I know that you have given me an extra day for this english and that was very knid of you and
I am very greatful. I have been trying all day to get ahold of jane but I think when she gave me
her number I might have put it in my phone wrong. im going to keep trying to get ahold of her
if I cant I was curious if we could get an extra day and if not I undersatnd
Sample 2
Sorry about the earlier everthing is under control we will be ready to give our presentations.
see yio early morning
Sample 3
hello my name is annie m joe I have been told that I should contact you about enrolling in the
wriing lab that you are instructing I was enrolled in expository writing with lisa Hughes and
we dicusted the i am not ready. if you could give me a call so that we may discus the posibillity
of my inrolment in you class I would be grateful me phone number is 785-555-5555/thank
you in advance.
2
2
2
2
2
2
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Sample 4
hey how y doing, this jules bennett. Me and my advisor was wonder if can take Eng 200,
because she said I need tomove alone with the class. I will be taking the class at 5 pm, so I
will have plenty of time to get help.
e-mail back
thank you
Sample 5
hi this is eric manning and i e-mailed you about changing my engkish grade and you have not
git back with me so. i wanted to know your around.
Determine the Appropriate Level of Formality. The intended reader of your e-mail
determines the level of formality needed for your message. When sending an e-mail
to a person for the first time, even if you do not consider it a professional relationship,
your e-mail should be formal. If you are undecided as to whether the e-mail should be
considered personal or professional, err on the side of being more professional. Though
your instructor might be quite friendly, remember that your instructors role is comparable to that of a supervisor in the workplace. Your e-mail should reflect this professional
relationshipwhether your instructor is young and hip, old and stodgy, or somewhere
in between.
Activity
Using the spectrogram below, where do the following readers fall?
0
100
Least Formal
Most Formal
2
2
Works Cited
2
2
2
2
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2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
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CHAPTER 3
Gender Analysis
Assignment Guidelines
This assignment asks you to reflect on the power that visual media has in creating and
maintaining the social construction of gender. In todays information age we are bombarded with visual images relating all kinds of messages. Advertisers, entertainment
groups, media corporations, advocacy groups, the government, and others create visual
messages to make a point, to sell a product, and/or to illuminate an issue. Analyzing
these images can help us identify and explain how many ideas are conveyed through our
increasingly visual culture.
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3
For this assignment, you will adopt the role of an image analyst for a large media outlet.
Your job is to analyze one clients visual message in order to answer the question What
does this visual say about gender in the U.S.? To do this, you will write a memo to your
supervising editor that 1) identifies the images audience and purpose and 2) explains
how gender is represented in the visual message. Paying close attention to the details
of the visual will begin your observation; the development of those observations lies
in making connections between what you see at the surface, what you know about the
social construction of gender, and what you identify as significant about the gendered
message to our society. To help you develop and deepen your own understanding and
your analysis, you must use at least two outside sources (from this textbook or from outside research).
3
3
3
Be sure to focus your analysis on something new and perhaps even surprising about
the gendered message your visual delivers. And, while your thorough analysis depends
upon a clear description of the visual, be sure to move beyond the surface observations
explore details and look for subtle clues that will make your audience see the visual in a
new way. It might be useful to think about how gendered messages work together with
other demographic themes, such as the following:
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3
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Objectives
By the end of this assignment, you should be able to do the following:
Analyze a visual messages features and explain how they target a particular audience.
Describe the common portrayals of gender and discuss how these portrayals relate
to their social constructions.
Analyze the role visual media have in creating and maintaining social constructions
of gender.
Explain the significance to contemporary American society of the gendered messages in your chosen visual.
Rationale
The gender analysis assignment is important because it asks you to meet one of the most
important objectives in English 100: to demonstrate critical thinking when examining
and analyzing human difference. In order to fulfill this objective, you will
Identify how culture and society impact the ways human beings are represented.
j Important Vocabulary
Two of the learning objectives for the gender analysis assignment deal with the concepts
of social construction and gender. These objectives are:
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Describe the common portrayals of women and men and discuss how these portrayals relate to social constructions about these groups.
Recognize the role visual media has in creating and maintaining social constructions of gender.
As you select and analyze features of visual messages to meet these objectives, it will be
helpful to recognize and understand the definitions of terms related to your discussions
of how gender is represented in the United States. On the next few pages we have collected definitions of terms that may help you develop your ideas.
Sex vs. Gender
In our culture, we often exchange the words sex and gender, using the terms as if they
mean the same thing. In casual conversation this might not be a problem if everyone
present understands what the speaker is trying to say. For your purpose as an analyst of
a visual message, however, you will need to distinguish between these two concepts. The
definitions below help to clarify the differences between the words.
Sex
Either of the two major forms of individuals that occur in many species and that are
distinguished respectively as female or male especially on the basis of their reproductive
organs and structures.
Sum of features by which a member of a plant or animal species can be placed into one
of two complementary reproductive groups, male or female.
from sex. Encyclopdia Britannica. 2009. Encyclopdia Britannica Online. 31 Mar.
2009 <http://www.britannica.com/EBchecked/topic/228219/gender-identity>.
Sexuality
Gender
The behavioral, cultural, or psychological traits typically associated with one sex.
from gender. Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary. 2008. Merriam-Webster Online.
26 Mar. 2009 <http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/>.
Gender Identity
An individuals self-conception as being male or female, as distinguished from actual biological sex.
from social system. WordNet 3.0. 2006. Princeton University. 31 Mar. 2009. <http://
wordnet.princeton.edu/perl/webwn3.0?s=word-you-want>.
Social Construct
A social mechanism, phenomenon, or category created and developed by society; a perception of an individual, group, or idea that is constructed through cultural or social
practice.
from social construct. Websters New Millennium Dictionary of English, Preview
Edition (v 0.9.7). Dictionary.com, LLC. 29 Apr. 2009. <Dictionary.com http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/social construct>.
Privilege
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2. Can you quickly determine the purpose of the visual? (For example, to sell, to advocate, to inform, to shock, to motivate, to protest, etc.?)
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3. Can you determine the target audience? (Note: Relying upon an ad search on
Google makes this almost impossible.)
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4. Does the visual employ color? If yes, does it seem immediately important to a gendered message? If no, whats happening with the black-and-white color scheme in
terms of gender?
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If you are able to answer yes to most of these questions, go back through them and take
notes on the reasons why you are able to answer yes.
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Invention Activities
Developing Your Gender Analysis
For this assignment, one of your objectives is to analyze a visual messages features and
explain how they appeal to a particular audience. In order to accomplish this objective, you will need to make sure that you fully explain your interpretation of the visual
message to your reading audience. To make sure your memo fully develops how the
visual works and why the features appeal to the target audience, consider the following
questions:
What do you think motivated the creators of the visual to produce this image?
What about it motivates your viewing? Perhaps finding out more about the creators
motives can help you achieve a clearer or richer understanding of the choices made
in producing the text.
Who is the intended audience? What evidence can you find by examining the features of the visual to help you answer this question? What is the original location of
the image? What additional kinds of information or research would help you build
on this initial audience analysis?
What is the point of view of the visual? Once youve identified the point of view,
describe it. Is it critical? Sympathetic? Ironic? Something else? What cultural factors
might account for this point of view? How does the point of view connect with the
intended audience? Would other audiences like or dislike this point of view?
What did the creators want to accomplish with the visual message? What are the
various purposes inherent to the visual, and which do you think are the most important? How can you tell?
What people or groups are represented, and how? What might those people think of
the way theyre being represented? What is the gender message of the visualthat
is, what is it telling us about what it means to be masculine and/or feminine in our
society?
Are there any words on or added to the image? If so, how do they contribute to the
message of the text? If we read the image without the written text, would the message be the same?
Does the text overgeneralize or in any way suggest a stereotype? Is this intentional?
If so, for what purpose?
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Where does the visual appear? Was it in a magazine, on a poster or banner, online,
on Facebook or accompanying an article, or the label or cover on a product, etc.?
How does the visual appeal to its audience? Why would the audience be drawn to
this visual?
What tone or feeling does the visual project? How does that tone relate to the
audience?
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Design Features
All visual messages have to use elements of design to communicate with their audiences.
Therefore, to analyze the message, you have to closely study the different features to figure out what they contribute to the overall message. Answer the questions listed below
for the design features of layout, people, context, color, and text and images.
Layout
Layout is the overall arrangement of elements and the general use of space in the visual.
Placement and size of the features within a visual in relationship to other features can
imply meaning about those features. Consider:
What do you notice first? What seems to be the most important feature?
Consider the arrangement of the visuals elements. Which elements are larger or
more dominant? Which elements are smaller or less dominant?
Is the visual divided into sections? How are the elements arranged within the
sections?
How are elements in the visual framed? Does the visual use empty space? Does the
visual use shapes and lines?
How does the placement of text influence what the audience reads first? What might
be meant by emphasizing that information?
How does the placement of the text relate to the placement of the images? What
meaning could be implied by placing the text and images together in this manner?
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People
To analyze a message about gender, the visual will most likely contain images of people.
Studying how people are presented in the visual is vital to understanding the message
about gender. Consider:
What kinds of people are in the visual? Describe their age, gender, ethnicity, and
class.
How are the people portrayed? Describe their clothing, hair styles, body posture,
including which portions of their bodies are shown, their facial expressions, hand
gestures, etc.
What kind of camera angle does the visual use? Are the people in focus, shot from
above, shot from below, close up or far away? A low camera angle suggests that the
subject, or feature in the shot, is powerful or high-ranking; a high camera angle suggests that the subject is inferior or low-ranking.
Does there seem to be a relationship between the people in the visual? Are the people arranged in a way that projects a feeling, such as dominance, superiority, love, or
friendship?
What are the people in the visual looking at? Are they looking at something in the
visual or something outside? Are they looking at you, the reader? Are their eyes
closed? Can you even see their eyes or faces? What someone looks at and how someone looks at it can create meaning. If the visual does not show someones eyes, it can
suggest deception or mystery. If you cant see someones face, it can suggest a lack of
identity or even objectivity, which is a lack of humanity.
Context
Context includes the created environment, or set, within the visual. Some visuals may
tell a story while others may be a snapshot moment in time. Knowing the context can
help you find meaning about the visual message. Consider:
Where does the visual appear to be set? Consider the time of day and year, the place
(inside, outside, rural, urban, etc.), and the season.
What kind of story is the visual telling? Can you imagine what might have taken
place before or after the picture shown?
What props are in the visual? Are they new, old, clean, dirty, neat, or disordered?
What do these items and their condition suggest?
What social meaning do we associate with these props? A sports car, for example,
means something different than an SUV. What cultural impressions are created by
the visuals props?
What kinds of people might relate to the story being told? What kinds of people
might feel left out?
Color
Color is an important design feature that can catch the audiences attention while simultaneously conveying meaning. Meaning can be conveyed through color by using colors
with symbolic associations and by using colors that work together to create contrast to
emphasize other design features. Consider:
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Is the visual only black and white? What might be the reason for the lack of color?
Where is the most color used? Where is the least color used? What might be the
reason for the difference in use of color?
Do the colors work to create contrast between light and dark? Our eyes are drawn to
stark contrasts first. What might the visual be emphasizing through contrast?
What kinds of emotions do the colors suggest? For example, red suggests passion
or anger. Green can suggest envy. Whose emotions might be associated with these
suggestions?
What associations might someone make with the colors? For example, pink and
pastel colors are often associated with girls and are considered feminine; blues and
other primary colors are often associated with boys and are considered masculine.
What other colors have cultural symbolism?
Text is often used in visual messages to connect the images in the visual with the overall
message. This meaning can be created through the literal meaning of the words as well
as through the graphic representation of the letters themselves. What the text looks like
can convey as much meaning, if not more, as the words themselves. Consider:
What text is in your visual? Is there any fine print? If your visual doesnt have any
text, what might the lack of text suggest about the visuals meaning?
Does the visual have a major headline, or prominent, primary text? How is the headline different from other text in the visual?
How do the text and the graphics work together with the other features, such as
people or color? What does the text literally say through its words?
Describe the text in terms of font, size, style, and color. What attitude does the text
project? Is it serious, silly, scary, or some other attitude?
What tone does the text use (formal, informal, comic, authoritative, etc.)?
Are any symbols or logos used? What meaning might they have?
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As the central purpose of this assignment, analyzing gender is an important part of your
study of each design feature above. Consider the questions below to help you narrow
your analysis to those details of the visual that relate the most to the concept of gender.
From the notes you have taken on the features listed above, which features seem to
be gendered? What details from the visual gives you these impressions?
Do the elements maintain feminine and masculine stereotypes, or do they complicate them?
What does the visual say about gender in the U.S.? Which features support that message? How do those features convey that idea about gender?
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Analysis Map
Fill in the chart below after using the Visual Message Analysis Guide to study your visual.
Describe a specific detail from your visual, and then categorize what type of design feature it is. In the last two boxes of the row, explain any general meaning the detail presents
as well as the gender-specific message the detail creates. An example is provided in the
first row.
Visual Description of
Specific Detail
Bucket of chicken
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General Meaning
A bucket of chicken is a
fast, greasy food often
associated with men
gathering to watch football on TV. Its not very
classy or formal.
Gender-Specific
Meaning
It is a stereotypical guy
thing to enjoy specifically
with other guys.
jPre-Reading Questions
1. What do you think it means to be a boy in our society? What characteristics, colors,
activities, etc., do we associate with boyhood?
2. What happens, then, when boys grow up? How do their ideal characteristics, color
and activity preferences change?
3. Which masculine identitybeing a boy or being a manis most socially desirable?
What makes you think so?
Michael Kimmel
The New York PostSeptember 7, 2008
Todays young men are coming of age in an era with no road maps, no blueprints,
and no primers to tell them what a man is or how to become one. None of the terms
given to this stage of developmentemergent adulthood, twixtershave any resonance whatever with the young men I have spoken to on college campuses and in
workplaces around the country.
Almost all of them call themselvesand call each otherguys. Its a generic catchall term that demarcates this age group, setting it apart from kids and grown-ups.
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Guyland is the world in which these young men live. It is both a stage of life, an
undefined time span between adolescence and adulthood that can often stretch for
a decade or more, and a place, or, rather, a bunch of places where guys gather to be
guys with each other, unhassled by the demands of parents, girlfriends, jobs, kids,
and the other nuisances of adult life. In this topsy-turvy, Peter-Pan mindset, young
men shirk the responsibilities of adulthood and remain fixated on the trappings of
boyhood, while the boys they still are struggle heroically to prove that they are real
men despite all evidence to the contrary.
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Males between 16 and 26 number well over 22 millionmore than 15% of the total
male population in the United States. The guy age bracket represents the front end
of the single most desirable consumer market, according to advertisers. Yet aside
from assiduous market research, Guyland is a terra incognita. Many of us only know
weve landed there when we feel distraught about our children, anxious that they
have entered, or will be entering, a world that we barely know. Just what are they
doing in their rooms at all hours of the night? Why are they so directionless when
they graduate that they take dead-end jobs and move back home? What happened to
the motivated young man who left for college with such high hopes and a keen sense
of purpose? And guys themselves often wonder where they left their dreams.
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Text from Chapters 1 and 2 (as appeared in the New York Post September 7, 2008) from Guyland: The
Perilous World Where Boys Become Men by Michael Kimmel. Copyright 2008 by Michael Kimmel.
Reprinted by permission of HarperCollins Publishers.
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There are some parts of Guyland that are quite positive. The advancing age of marriage, for example, benefits both women and men, who have more time to explore
career opportunities, not to mention establishing their identities, before committing to home and family. And much of what qualifies as fun in Guyland is relatively
harmless.
Yet there is a disturbing undercurrent to much of it as well. College guys post pornography everywhere in their dorm rooms. In fraternities and dorms on virtually every
campus, plenty of guys are getting drunk almost every night, prowling for women
with whom they can hook up, and chalking it all up to harmless fun. Homophobia
is ubiquitous; indeed, thats so gay is probably the most frequently used put down
in middle schools, high schools, and college today.
jPost-Reading Questions
1. What is the main idea of this article?
2. Who do you think Kimmel is writing to with this article? How can you tell? Are you
a part of that audience? If not, does that change how you read the article?
3. Why does Kimmel believe it is important to explore Guyland? What problem(s)
does Kimmel associate with Guyland?
4. After reading this article, how would you define and describe the following categories of masculinity: boy, guy, and man?
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jPre-Reading Questions
1. Think about your childhood experience with toys, colors, activities, etc. What did
you like? Did anyone ever tell you that what you liked was for boys or for girls?
2. Do you remember when you transitioned from childhood into adolescence and
beyond? How did your favorite colors, activities, etc., change?
3. Which feminine identitybeing a girl or being a womanis most socially desirable?
What makes you think so?
Peggy Orenstein
I finally came unhinged in the dentists officeone of those ritzy pediatric practices tricked out with comic books, DVDs and arcade gameswhere Id taken my
3-year-old daughter for her first exam. Until then, Id held my tongue. Id smiled
politely every time the supermarket-checkout clerk greeted her with Hi, Princess;
ignored the waitress at our local breakfast joint who called the funny-face pancakes
she ordered her princess meal; made no comment when the lady at Longs Drugs
said, I bet I know your favorite color and handed her a pink balloon rather than letting her choose for herself. Maybe it was the dentists Betty Boop inflection that got
to me, but when she pointed to the exam chair and said, Would you like to sit in my
special princess throne so I can sparkle your teeth? I lost it.
Oh, for Gods sake, I snapped. Do you have a princess drill, too?
She stared at me as if I were an evil stepmother.
Come on! I continued, my voice rising. Its 2006, not 1950. This is Berkeley, California. Does every little girl really have to be a princess?
My daughter, who was reaching for a Cinderella sticker, looked back and forth between
us. Why are you so mad, Mama? she asked. Whats wrong with princesses?
Diana may be dead and Masako disgraced, but here in America, we are in the midst
of a royal moment. To call princesses a trend among girls is like calling Harry Potter a book. Sales at Disney Consumer Products, which started the craze six years ago
by packaging nine of its female characters under one royal rubric, have shot up to
$3 billion, globally, this year, from $300 million in 2001. There are now more than
25,000 Disney Princess items. Princess, as some Disney execs call it, is not only
the fastest-growing brand the company has ever created; they say it is on its way to
becoming the largest girls franchise on the planet.
Meanwhile in 2001, Mattel brought out its own world of girl line of princess Barbie dolls, DVDs, toys, clothing, home dcor and myriad other products. At a time
when Barbie sales were declining domestically, they became instant best sellers.
Shortly before that, Mary Drolet, a Chicago-area mother and former Claires and
Whats Wrong with Cinderella? by Peggy Orenstein from The New York Times Magazine, December 24,
2006. Copyright 2006 by Peggy Orenstein. Reprinted by permission.
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Montgomery Ward executive, opened Club Libby Lu, now a chain of mall stores
based largely in the suburbs in which girls ages 4 to 12 can shop for Princess Phones
covered in faux fur and attend Princess-Makeover Birthday Parties. Saks bought
Club Libby Lu in 2003 for $12 million and has since expanded it to 87 outlets; by
2005, with only scant local advertising, revenues hovered around the $46 million
mark, a 53 percent jump from the previous year. Pink, it seems, is the new gold.
Even Dora the Explorer, the intrepid, dirty-kneed adventurer, has ascended to the
throne: in 2004, after a two-part episode in which she turns into a true princess,
the Nickelodeon and Viacom consumer-products division released a satin-gowned
Magic Hair Fairytale Dora, with hair that grows or shortens when her crown is
touched. Among other phrases the bilingual doll utters: Vmonos! Lets go to fairytale land! and Will you brush my hair?
As a feminist mothernot to mention a nostalgic product of the Grranimals eraI
have been taken by surprise by the princess craze and the girlie-girl culture that has
risen around it. What happened to William wanting a doll and not dressing your
cat in an apron? Whither Marlo Thomas? I watch my fellow mothers, women who
once swore theyd never be dependent on a man, smile indulgently at daughters who
warble So This Is Love or insist on being called Snow White. I wonder if theyd
concede so readily to sons who begged for combat fatigues and mock AK-47s.
More to the point, when my own girl makes her daily beeline for the dress-up corner
of her preschool classroomsomething Im convinced she does largely to torture
meI worry about what playing Little Mermaid is teaching her. Ive spent much
of my career writing about experiences that undermine girls well-being, warning
parents that a preoccupation with body and beauty (encouraged by films, TV, magazines and, yes, toys) is perilous to their daughters mental and physical health. Am I
now supposed to shrug and forget all that? If trafficking in stereotypes doesnt matter
at 3, when does it matter? At 6? Eight? Thirteen?
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On the other hand, maybe Im still surfing a washed-out second wave of feminism
in a third-wave world. Maybe princesses are in fact a sign of progress, an indication
that girls can embrace their predilection for pink without compromising strength or
ambition; that, at long last, they can have it all. Or maybe it is even less complex
than that: to mangle Freud, maybe a princess is sometimes just a princess. And, as
my daughter wants to know, whats wrong with that?
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The rise of the Disney Princesses reads like a fairy tale itself, with Andy Mooney, a
former Nike executive, playing the part of prince, riding into the company on a metaphoric white horse in January 2000 to save a consumer-products division whose
sales were dropping by as much as 30 percent a year. Both overstretched and underfocused, the division had triggered price wars by granting multiple licenses for core
products (say, Winnie-the-Pooh undies) while ignoring the potential of new media.
Whats more, Disney films like A Bugs Life in 1998 had yielded few merchandising
opportunitieswhat child wants to snuggle up with an ant?
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It was about a month after Mooneys arrival that the magic struck. Thats when he
flew to Phoenix to check out his first Disney on Ice show. Standing in line in the
arena, I was surrounded by little girls dressed head to toe as princesses, he told
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me last summer in his palatial office, then located in Burbank, and speaking in a
rolling Scottish burr. They werent even Disney products. They were generic princess products theyd appended to a Halloween costume. And the light bulb went off.
Clearly there was latent demand here. So the next morning I said to my team, O.K.,
lets establish standards and a color palette and talk to licensees and get as much
product out there as we possibly can that allows these girls to do what theyre doing
anyway: projecting themselves into the characters from the classic movies.
Mooney picked a mix of old and new heroines to wear the Pantone pink No. 241
corona: Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, Snow White, Ariel, Belle, Jasmine, Mulan and
Pocahontas. It was the first time Disney marketed characters separately from a films
release, let alone lumped together those from different stories. To ensure the sanctity
of what Mooney called their individual mythologies, the princesses never make eye
contact when theyre grouped: each stares off in a slightly different direction as if
unaware of the others presence.
It is also worth noting that not all of the ladies are of royal extraction. Part of the
genius of Princess is that its meaning is so broadly constructed that it actually has
no meaning. Even Tinker Bell was originally a Princess, though her reign didnt last.
Wed always debate over whether she was really a part of the Princess mythology,
Mooney recalled. She really wasnt. Likewise, Mulan and Pocahontas, arguably the
most resourceful of the bunch, are rarely depicted on Princess merchandise, though
for a different reason. Their rustic garb has less bling potential than that of oldschool heroines like Sleeping Beauty. (When Mulan does appear, she is typically in
the kimonolike hanfu, which makes her miserable in the movie, rather than her liberated warriors gear.)
The first Princess items, released with no marketing plan, no focus groups, no advertising, sold as if blessed by a fairy godmother. To this day, Disney conducts little market research on the Princess line, relying instead on the power of its legacy among
mothers as well as the instant-read sales barometer of the theme parks and Disney
Stores. We simply gave girls what they wanted, Mooney said of the lines success,
although I dont think any of us grasped how much they wanted this. I wish I could
sit here and take credit for having some grand scheme to develop this, but all we did
was envision a little girls room and think about how she could live out the princess
fantasy. The counsel we gave to licensees was: What type of bedding would a princess want to sleep in? What kind of alarm clock would a princess want to wake up to?
What type of television would a princess like to see? Its a rare case where you find a
girl who has every aspect of her room bedecked in Princess, but if she ends up with
three or four of these items, well, then you have a very healthy business.
Every reporter Mooney talks to asks some version of my next question: Arent the
Princesses, who are interested only in clothes, jewelry and cadging the handsome
prince, somewhat retrograde role models?
Look, he said, I have friends whose son went through the Power Rangers phase who
castigated themselves over what they mustve done wrong. Then they talked to other
parents whose kids had gone through it. The boy passes through. The girl passes
through. I see girls expanding their imagination through visualizing themselves as
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princesses, and then they pass through that phase and end up becoming lawyers,
doctors, mothers or princesses, whatever the case may be.
Mooney has a point: There are no studies proving that playing princess directly damages girls self-esteem or dampens other aspirations. On the other hand, there is evidence that young women who hold the most conventionally feminine beliefswho
avoid conflict and think they should be perpetually nice and prettyare more likely
to be depressed than others and less likely to use contraception. Whats more, the 23
percent decline in girls participation in sports and other vigorous activity between
middle and high school has been linked to their sense that athletics is unfeminine.
And in a survey released last October by Girls Inc., school-age girls overwhelmingly
reported a paralyzing pressure to be perfect: not only to get straight As and be the
student-body president, editor of the newspaper and captain of the swim team but
also to be kind and caring, please everyone, be very thin and dress right. Give
those girls a pumpkin and a glass slipper and theyd be in business.
At the grocery store one day, my daughter noticed a little girl sporting a Cinderella
backpack. Theres that princess you dont like, Mama! she shouted.
Um, yeah, I said, trying not to meet the other mothers hostile gaze.
Her face is all right, I said, noncommittally, though Im not thrilled to have my Japanese-Jewish child in thrall to those Aryan features. (And what the heck are those
blue things covering her ears?) Its just, honey, Cinderella doesnt really do anything.
Over the next 45 minutes, we ran through that conversation, verbatim, approximately 37 million times, as my daughter pointed out Disney Princess Band-Aids,
Disney Princess paper cups, Disney Princess lip balm, Disney Princess pens, Disney
Princess crayons and Disney Princess notebooksall cleverly displayed at the eye
level of a 3-year-old trapped in a shopping cartas well as a bouquet of Disney Princess balloons bobbing over the checkout line. The repetition was excessive, even for
a preschooler. What was it about my answers that confounded her? What if, instead
of realizing: Aha! Cinderella is a symbol of the patriarchal oppression of all women,
another example of corporate mind control and power-to-the-people! my 3-year-old
was thinking, Mommy doesnt want me to be a girl?
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Anyway, you have to give girls some credit. Its true that, according to Mattel, one of
the most popular games young girls play is bride, but Disney found that a groom
or prince is incidental to that fantasy, a regrettable necessity at best. Although they
keep him around for the climactic kiss, he is otherwise relegated to the bottom of the
toy box, which is why you dont see him prominently displayed in stores.
Whats more, just because they wear the tulle doesnt mean theyve drunk the KoolAid. Plenty of girls stray from the script, say, by playing basketball in their finery,
or casting themselves as the powerful evil stepsister bossing around the sniveling
Cinderella. I recall a headline-grabbing 2005 British study that revealed that girls
enjoy torturing, decapitating and microwaving their Barbies nearly as much as they
like to dress them up for dates. There is spice along with that sugar after all, though
why this was news is beyond me: anyone who ever played with the doll knows theres
nothing more satisfying than hacking off all her hair and holding her underwater in
the bathtub. Princesses can even be a boon to exasperated parents: in our house, for
instance, royalty never whines and uses the potty every single time.
Playing princess is not the issue, argues Lyn Mikel Brown, an author, with Sharon
Lamb, of Packaging Girlhood: Rescuing Our Daughters From Marketers Schemes.
The issue is 25,000 Princess products, says Brown, a professor of education and
human development at Colby College. When one thing is so dominant, then its
no longer a choice: its a mandate, cannibalizing all other forms of play. Theres the
illusion of more choices out there for girls, but if you look around, youll see their
choices are steadily narrowing.
Its hard to imagine that girls options could truly be shrinking when they dominate
the honor roll and outnumber boys in college. Then again, have you taken a stroll
through a childrens store lately? A year ago, when we shopped for big girl bedding at Pottery Barn Kids, we found the girls side awash in flowers, hearts and
hula dancers; not a soccer player or sailboat in sight. Across the no-fly zone, the
boys territory was all about sports, trains, planes and automobiles. Meanwhile,
Baby GAPs boys onesies were emblazoned with Big Man on Campus and the girls
with Social Butterfly; guess whose matching shoes were decorated on the soles
with hearts and whose sported a No. 1 logo? And at Toys R Us, aisles of pink baby
dolls, kitchens, shopping carts and princesses unfurl a safe distance from the Star
Wars figures, GeoTrax and tool chests. The relentless resegregation of childhood
appears to have sneaked up without any further discussion about sex roles, about
what it now means to be a boy or to be a girl. Or maybe it has happened in lieu of
such discussion because its easier this way.
Easier, that is, unless you want to buy your daughter something that isnt pink. Girls
obsession with that color may seem like something theyre born with, like the ability to breathe or talk on the phone for hours on end. But according to Jo Paoletti, an
associate professor of American studies at the University of Maryland, it aint so.
When colors were first introduced to the nursery in the early part of the 20th century,
pink was considered the more masculine hue, a pastel version of red. Blue, with its
intimations of the Virgin Mary, constancy and faithfulness, was thought to be dainty.
Why or when that switched is not clear, but as late as the 1930s a significant percentage of adults in one national survey held to that split. Perhaps thats why so many early
Disney heroinesCinderella, Sleeping Beauty, Wendy, Alice-in-Wonderlandare
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swathed in varying shades of azure. (Purple, incidentally, may be the next color to
swap teams: once the realm of kings and N.F.L. players, it is fast becoming the bolder
girls version of pink.)
It wasnt until the mid-1980s, when amplifying age and sex differences became a key
strategy of childrens marketing (recall the emergence of tween), that pink became
seemingly innate to girls, part of what defined them as female, at least for the first
few years. That was also the time that the first of the generation raised during the
unisex phase of feminismah, hither Marlo!became parents. The kids who grew
up in the 1970s wanted sharp definitions for their own kids, Paoletti told me. I can
understand that, because the unisex thing denied everythingyou couldnt be this,
you couldnt be that, you had to be a neutral nothing.
The infatuation with the girlie girl certainly could, at least in part, be a reaction
against the so-called second wave of the womens movement of the 1960s and 70s
(the first wave was the fight for suffrage), which fought for reproductive rights and
economic, social and legal equality. If nothing else, pink and Princess have resuscitated the fantasy of romance that that era of feminism threatened, the privileges
that traditional femininity conferred on women despite its costsdoors magically
opened, dinner checks picked up, Manolo Blahniks. Frippery. Fun. Why should we
give up the perks of our sex until were sure of what well get in exchange? Why
should we give them up at all? Or maybe its deeper than that: the freedoms feminism bestowed came with an undercurrent of fear among women themselvesflowing through Ally McBeal, Bridget Joness Diary, Sex and the Cityof losing male
love, of never marrying, of not having children, of being deprived of something that
felt essentially and exclusively female.
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I mulled that over while flipping through The Paper Bag Princess, a 1980 picture book hailed as an antidote to Disney. The heroine outwits a dragon who has
kidnapped her prince, but not before the beasts fiery breath frizzles her hair and
destroys her dress, forcing her to don a paper bag. The ungrateful prince rejects her,
telling her to come back when she is dressed like a real princess. She dumps him
and skips off into the sunset, happily ever after, alone.
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There you have it, Thelma and Louise all over again. Step out of line, and you end
up solo or, worse, sailing crazily over a cliff to your doom. Alternatives like those
might send you skittering right back to the castle. And I get that: the fact is, though
I want my daughter to do and be whatever she wants as an adult, I still hope shell
find her Prince Charming and have babies, just as I have. I dont want her to be a fish
without a bicycle; I want her to be a fish with another fish. Preferably, one who loves
and respects her and also does the dishes and half the child care.
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There had to be a middle ground between compliant and defiant, between petticoats
and paper bags. I remembered a video on YouTube, an ad for a Nintendo game called
Super Princess Peach. It showed a pack of girls in tiaras, gowns and elbow-length
white gloves sliding down a zip line on parasols, navigating an obstacle course of
tires in their stilettos, slithering on their bellies under barbed wire, then using their
telekinetic powers to make a climbing wall burst into flames. If you can stand up
to really mean people, an announcer intoned, maybe you have what it takes to be
a princess.
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Now here were some girls who had grit as well as grace. I loved Princess Peach even as
I recognized that there was no way she could run in those heels, that her peachiness
did nothing to upset the apple cart of expectation: she may have been athletic, smart
and strong, but she was also adorable. Maybe shes what those once-unisex, postfeminist parents are shooting for: the melding of old and new standards. And perhaps thats
a good thing, the ideal solution. But what to make, then, of the young women in the
Girls Inc. survey? It doesnt seem to be having it all thats getting to them; its the
pressure to be it all. In telling our girls they can be anything, we have inadvertently
demanded that they be everything. To everyone. All the time. No wonder the report
was titled The Supergirl Dilemma.
The princess as superhero is not irrelevant. Some scholars I spoke with say that given
its post-9/11 timing, princess mania is a response to a newly dangerous world. Historically, princess worship has emerged during periods of uncertainty and profound
social change, observes Miriam Forman-Brunell, a historian at the University of
Missouri-Kansas City. Francis Hodgson Burnetts original Little Princess was published at a time of rapid urbanization, immigration and poverty; Shirley Temples
film version was a hit during the Great Depression. The original folk tales themselves, Forman-Brunell says, spring from medieval and early modern European culture that faced all kinds of economic and demographic and social upheavalfamine,
war, disease, terror of wolves. Girls play savior during times of economic crisis and
instability. Thats a heavy burden for little shoulders. Perhaps thats why the magic
wand has become an essential part of the princess get-up. In the original stories
even the Disney versions of themits not the girl herself whos magic; its the fairy
godmother. Now if Forman-Brunell is right, we adults have become the cursed creatures whom girls have the thaumaturgic power to transform.
In the 1990s, third-wave feminists rebelled against their dour big sisters, reclaiming
sexual objectification as a womans rightprovided, of course, that it was on her
own terms, that she was the one choosing to strip or wear a shirt that said Porn Star
or make out with her best friend at a frat-house bash. They embraced words like
bitch and slut as terms of affection and empowerment. That is, when used by the
right people, with the right dash of playful irony. But how can you assure that? As
Madonna gave way to Britney, whatever self-determination that message contained
was watered down and commodified until all that was left was a gaggle of 6-year-old
girls in belly-baring T-shirts (which Im guessing they dont wear as cultural critique).
It is no wonder that parents, faced with thongs for 8-year-olds and Bratz dolls passion for fashion, fill their daughters closets with pink sateen; the innocence of Princess feels like a reprieve.
But what does that mean? asks Sharon Lamb, a psychology professor at Saint
Michaels College. There are other ways to express innocencegirls could play
ladybug or caterpillar. What youre really talking about is sexual purity. And theres a
trap at the end of that rainbow, because the natural progression from pale, innocent
pink is not to other colors. Its to hot, sexy pinkexactly the kind of sexualization
parents are trying to avoid.
Lamb suggested that to see for myself how Someday My Prince Will Come morphs
into Oops! I Did It Again, I visit Club Libby Lu, the mall shop dedicated to the Very
Important Princess.
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Walking into one of the newest links in the stores chain, in Natick, Mass., last summer, I had to tip my tiara to the founder, Mary Drolet: Libby Lus design was flawless.
Unlike Disney, Drolet depended on focus groups to choose the logo (a crown-topped
heart) and the colors (pink, pink, purple and more pink). The displays were scaled to
the size of a 10-year-old, though most of the shoppers I saw were several years younger
than that. The decals on the walls and dressing roomsI Love Your Hair, Hip Chick,
Spoiledwere written in girlfriend language. The young sales clerks at this special
secret club for superfabulous girls are called club counselors and come off like your
coolest baby sitter, the one who used to let you brush her hair. The malls themselves
are chosen based on a company formula called the G.P.I., or Girl Power Index, which
predicts potential sales revenues. Talk about newspeak: Girl Power has gone from a
riot grrrrl anthem to I Am Woman, Watch Me Shop.
Inside, the store was divided into several glittery shopping zones called experiences: Libbys Laboratory, now called Sparkle Spa, where girls concoct their own
cosmetics and bath products; Libbys Room; Ear Piercing; Pooch Parlor (where divas
in training can pamper stuffed poodles, pugs and Chihuahuas); and the Style Studio,
offering Libby Du makeover choices, including Tween Idol, Rock Star, Pop Star
and, of course, Priceless Princess. Each look includes hairstyle, makeup, nail polish
and sparkly tattoos.
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As I browsed, I noticed a mother standing in the center of the store holding a price
list for makeover birthday parties$22.50 to $35 per child. Her name was Anne
McAuliffe; her daughtersStephanie, 4, and 7-year-old twins Rory and Sarahwere
dashing giddily up and down the aisles.
Theyve been begging to come to this store for three weeks, McAuliffe said. Id never
heard of it. So I said they could, but theyd have to spend their own money if they
bought anything. She looked around. Some of this stuff is innocuous, she observed,
then leaned toward me, eyes wide and stage-whispered: Buta lot of it is horrible. It
makes them look like little prostitutes. Its crazy. Theyre babies!
As we debated the line between frivolous fun and JonBent, McAuliffes daughter Rory
came dashing up, pigtails haphazard, glasses askew. They have the best pocketbooks
here, she said breathlessly, brandishing a clutch with the words Girlie Girl stamped on
it. Please, can I have one? It has sequins!
You see that? McAuliffe asked, gesturing at the bag. What am I supposed to say?
On my way out of the mall, I popped into the tween mecca Hot Topic, where
a display of Tinker Bell items caught my eye. Tinker Bell, whose image racks up
an annual $400 million in retail sales with no particular effort on Disneys part, is
poised to wreak vengeance on the Princess line that once expelled her. Last winter,
the first chapter book designed to introduce girls to Tink and her Pixie Hollow pals
spent 18 weeks on The New York Times childrens best-seller list. In a direct-toDVD now under production, she will speak for the first time, voiced by the actress
Brittany Murphy. Next year, Disney Fairies will be rolled out in earnest. Aimed at
6- to 9-year-old girls, the line will catch them just as they outgrow Princess. Their
colors will be lavender, green, turquoiseanything but the Princesss soon-to-bebabyish pink.
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To appeal to that older child, Disney executives said, the Fairies will have more attitude and sass than the Princesses. What, I wondered, did that entail? Id seen some
of the Tinker Bell merchandise that Disney sells at its theme parks: T-shirts reading,
Spoiled to Perfection, Mood Subject to Change Without Notice and Tinker Bell:
Prettier Than a Princess. At Hot Topic, that edge was even sharper: magnets, clocks,
light-switch plates and panties featured Dark Tink, described as the bad girl side of
Miss Bell that Walt never saw.
Girl power, indeed.
A few days later, I picked my daughter up from preschool. She came tearing over in a
full-skirted frock with a gold bodice, a beaded crown perched sideways on her head.
Look, Mommy, Im Ariel! she crowed, referring to Disneys Little Mermaid. Then
she stopped and furrowed her brow. Mommy, do you like Ariel?
I considered her for a moment. Maybe Princess is the first salvo in what will become
a lifelong struggle over her body image, a Hundred Years War of dieting, plucking,
painting and perpetual dissatisfaction with the results. Or maybe it isnt. Ill never
really know. In the end, its not the Princesses that really bother me anyway. Theyre
just a trigger for the bigger question of how, over the years, I can help my daughter
with the contradictions she will inevitably face as a girl, the dissonance that is as
endemic as ever to growing up female. Maybe the best I can hope for is that her generation will get a little further with the solutions than we did.
For now, I kneeled down on the floor and gave my daughter a hug.
She smiled happily. But, Mommy? she added. When I grow up, Im still going to be
a fireman. j
jPost-Reading Questions
1. What is the main idea of this article? What is princess culture?
2. Who do you think Orenstein is writing to with this article? How can you tell? Are
you a part of that audience? If not, does that change how you read the article?
3. Why does Orenstein believe it is important to examine the rise of the Disney princess? What problem(s) does she associate with it?
4. If Guyland functions as a transition into adulthood for the masculine gender, do
we have a similar experience for the feminine? What would we call it and how would
we describe it?
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j Citing Sources
Using citations correctly is a way to show your audience that you have used credible sources
of information in your memo. This credibility is especially important when you are writing
in a professional situation, such as the scenario created for this assignment. Use the guidelines below to present your memo in a credible and professional way to the reader.
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Kimmel, Michael. Men Will Be Boys. The New York Post. 7 Sept. 2008. Rpt. in Writing
Communities and Identities. Ed. Cynthia Debes et al. 8th ed. Plymouth, MI: HaydenMcNeil Publishing, 2012. 4951.
If you use a source that isnt from the textbook, use the guidelines from the Informative
Writing unit to help you write a citation.
In-text Citation
When you incorporate source material, it should never have to stand on its own. Note
the attributive tags/introductory phrases used in the sample paper. Also, be sure to use
parenthetical citations, when needed, after any quotations or paraphrases you use. You
will use the textbook page numbers for your in-text citation, as in the student example.
See Chapter 5 for more information about parenthetical citation.
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An introduction that states your purpose for writing and what you will discuss in
the rest of the memo.
An analysis section that discusses how the features of the visual 1) appeal to the
audience, and 2) portray gender constructions.
A conclusion that can either restate the main points of your memo, pose new questions that the reader may pursue later, or present a call for action.
A works cited.
Workshop guide
Writer
Date
Reader
Gender Analysis
1. Read the writers analysis of the visual message. What are the features the writer
analyzes? Do you think these are the most important features? Why or why not?
2. Has the writer connected these features of the visual message to how it appeals to
the audience? Where might more explanation be helpful? Mark these places with a
star and make suggestions for revision.
3. What is the writers main point in the memo? Underline this sentence or sentences.
If no main point is stated, try to write the main point in your own words.
4. Does the writer explain, using the readings and his or her own analysis, how the
visual portrays social constructions of gender? How? Put a star by the strongest passage of analysis and underline a passage that needs more explanation. In the space
below, write down questions that the writer still needs to answer.
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5. Look at the Assignment Guidelines at the beginning of this unit. Does the draft meet
the bulleted objectives? Number each objective. For each objective, rate the memos
effectiveness in meeting that criterion 15 (5 as excellent, 1 as poor). For any 1, 2, or
3 you give, offer suggestions to the writer for how to improve the memo to meet the
objective.
Objective #
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Ranking
Workshop guide
Writer
Date
Reader
Self-Evaluation/Peer Critique
Self-Evaluation
First, number each of your paragraphs. Then, read your memo and answer the following questions. To remind yourself what parts of the memo are working well, so that you
can model your strengths in other places, include the paragraph numbers for each yes
answer.
1. Does your introduction provide the readers with the context and purpose of the
memo?
2. Does your introduction identify and describe the primary audience of the visual
message?
3. Does your introduction highlight a main point about how the visual works to target
its audience?
4. Do you clearly explain how various elements of the visual message effectively appeal
to the primary audience (such as rhetorical purpose, design, setting, people, symbols
and signs, color, text, and story)?
5. Do you explain, using the readings and your own analysis, how the visual works to
create a message about gender in the U.S.?
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7. Does your memo remain focused upon the main points you included in the
introduction?
Peer Critique
1. As you read through your partners workshop draft, mark the following in the
margins:
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2. Then, read through your partners self-workshop questions on the previous page. For
any No answers, make notes advising your partner on how he/she might effectively
incorporate the information. For example, if your partner said No to the question
that asks if he/she explained clearly how elements of the visual appealed to the primary audience, offer suggestions for how your partner might explain.
3. Once you and your partner are finished reading and writing about the others memo,
talk about each memo, focusing on strengths and weaknesses. During the discussion, the listener should take specific and readable notes.
4. When you are finished, find another classmate and form a new partnership.
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RUBRIC
Writer
Date
Gender Analysis
When handing in your memo, make sure to include:
A copy of the visual.
Rough drafts with workshop comments.
All notes and applicable assignments.
Additionally, remember to:
Follow memo format.
Include your last name and page number on each page.
Double space and use 12-point font.
Write at least two pages.
Criteria
Unacceptable
(No Pass)
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Acceptable
(Low Pass)
Average/
Above Average
(Pass)
Excellent
(High Pass)
The introduction provides context for readers and indicates the overall purpose of the
memo. (purpose and focus; organization)
The memo analyzes at least one feature of
the visual. (development)
The analysis gives specific examples from
the visual and explains how these features
appeal to the target audience. (development)
At least two sources are used to support
claims. (development)
The analysis remains focused upon the
memos main point. (purpose and focus)
The memo uses effective document design to
guide readers. (organization)
The memo uses a professional tone. (tone
and style)
The memo is generally free of distracting
surface errors. (editing and proofreading)
The in-text citations and Works Cited page
follow MLA style. (editing and proofreading)
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Sarah Haley wrote this gender analysis in Alison Schufelts Expos I class.
Supervising Editor
Sarah Haley
September 12, 2011
Gender Analysis of Nike Thunder Thighs Ad
Introduction
Just Do It.
I, like millions of other Americans, can instantly recognize that this simple yet profound statement is the famous slogan used by the multi-billion dollar Nike Incorporation. It is found on billboards, their apparel, in magazines, commercials, and
numerous other media. Nike is known not only in the United States, but throughout
the world, for their inventive and top of the line athletic merchandise/equipment to
improve performance. Being a passionate and dedicated runner myself, I too have
bought into Nikes persuasive slogan that inspires me to just do it. Therefore, when
I was preparing to purchase some new running shorts for my marathon training, I
looked only to Nike to provide the best attire. When doing so, I found a new womens ad campaign for Nike that reaped the very words I have always told myself while
looking troublesomely into the mirror. I have thunder thighs. I hated my muscular,
toned, and built thighs for years because of how big they were, but there those familiar words read on the Nike Womens advertisement affirming the statement I hated
admitting.
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Target Audience
Nike not only appeals to athletes, but people all around the world. However, from
my analysis, it is apparent that Nike is targeting this ad towards a unique group of
women. As stated in Christine Brennans featured article titled, In Nike Ad Campaign, Big Isnt Just Better, Its Celebrated from the USA Today online site, real
women are being used in the campaign to reach out to the once neglected group of
women in media (2)built, larger, and muscular women. Society continues to pressure women to conform to the accepted stereotype of being petite, thin, and flawless
in order to feel beautiful. This Nike ad, however, takes that long standing stereotype
and completely destructs it. The advertisement based on its image and text was constructed to be accepted by a wide variety of differently shaped active women.
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Conclusion
The Nike Womens Advertisement Campaign that features the I have thunder
thighs ad truly does empower women to accept their bodies as seen through analysis of their targeted audience, layout and color, and text and image. The clear message that Nike is declaring is body image acceptance, which speaks much farther
than my initial need for new running apparel. It made myself realize that I no longer
should cover up my own thunder thighs, but let them compliment my body like
other women have embraced from seeing this advertisement. Who knew that true
beauty could lie within muscular, bulky thighs? j
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Works Cited
Brennan, Christine. In Nike Ad Campaign, Big Isnt Just Better, Its Celebrated. USATODAY.com. USATODAY.com, August 18, 2005. Web. 12 Sept. 2011.
Nike Jumps on Real Women Bandwagon. U.S. Business on MSNBC.com. (2005): 12.
Web. 12 Sept. 2011.
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CHAPTER 4
Invitational Writing
Assignment Guidelines
As critical thinkers in an academic community, students are expected to explore new
and sometimes challenging ideas. As such, you wont always be asked to simply agree
or disagree with given ideas; instead, you will explore a range of possible responses and
examine the rationale or motivation for multiple perspectives. Instead of asking how a
particular text or opinion is right or wrong, you will be asked to imagine the contexts in
which points (arguments, opinions, ideas) may function or fail to function, how different
backgrounds and experiences may influence differing perspectives on issues, and how
divergentsometimes contradictoryopinions might all be valid.
This unit explores the issue of race and ethnicity in the United States and the difficulties
of having conversations about it. In the spectrum of human difference, race is often the
most emotionally charged. The activities in this unit will ask you to think about race on
college campuses. It will ask you to read about experiences college students and professors have with race, about incidents of cyber-racism, and about college courses on race.
These readings will ask you to consider different kinds of conversations and experiences
being had on college campuses that are influenced by race and ethnicity.
j Assignment Description
For this assignment, you will need to first demonstrate your understanding of the readings. To do so, you will write clear and unbiased summaries of the texts before you write
your essay exploring the issue.
Your larger writing task will be to develop an essay that adds to the conversation about
race by using the readings and your reasoning and experience to explore your own
thinking on the issue. Your goal will be to explore your ideas on the issue, inviting your
readers to see where you are coming from and inviting them to explore their own ideas
on the issue.
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The condition of equality. You see readers as holding equally valid perspectives and
positions that are worthy of exploration.
The condition of value. You recognize that readers, although their views might differ from yours, have inherent value.
This kind of relationship with your readers will allow you to start your exploration by
laying out various positions on the issue, or sharing your opinions and experiences, even
if they are tentative. Entering the issue from the position that you and your readers need
to be heard and respected by one another gives you, as the writer, many options for
exploring the issue of race and ethnicity on campus.
Objectives
By the end of this assignment, you should be able to do the following:
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Demonstrate in writing how issues of race and ethnicity impact and influence your
life as a student and a citizen.
Rationale
Responding in this way can be an unsettling experience, but being able to imagine and
understand multiple perspectives is an important aspect of critical thinking, and one of
Kansas State Universitys Undergraduate Student Learning Outcomes. Such an assignment also asks you to think through how issues such as race, class, and gender impact
your life in the academy and in the larger social realm. In fact, part of being an engaged
student and citizen is a willingness and ability to consider not only your own perspective but also the perspectives of others; this assignment will help prepare you to consider
and articulate these multiple viewpoints or angles of vision. It will also prepare you to
analyze a written text as well as your own personal experiences and beliefs. Finally, this
assignment will provide you the opportunity to practice organizing and supporting your
own ideas. Such analytical and organizational skills will prove crucial throughout your
college career and will serve you well in your life after college.
Reading Practices
There are many steps we go through as critical thinkers as we read and study a text.
One of the first steps is identifying what we understand and what we need to examine
further. Many texts will require more than one reading for the best comprehension of
ideas the author is trying to relay. The following activities ask you to practice defining
unfamiliar words, summarizing the main points of a text, and engaging the reading by
exploring your own reactions and responses.
j Key Terms
Ethnicity: Ethnic traits, background, allegiance, or association; the fact or state of
belonging to a social group that has a common national or cultural tradition.
Privilege: According to Allan Johnson, privilege refers to the exclusive and unearned
social and cultural power that some people gain at the expense of other people; white
privilege, then, refers specifically to the unearned power white people in our society
hold at the expense of people in other ethnic and racial groups; for an example, consider
Elizabeth A. Reyes article, Whose Culture Is It, Anyway? in which she describes her
experience as a Mexican-American professional in a white-dominated workplace. The
subtlety of white privilege is illustrated by the expectation that Reyes, as a member of
the Latina community, speak not only about her job, but also about her experience as a
Latina. Those who identify as white, says Reyes, are rarely (if ever) asked to discuss their
experiences as white people.
Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1)
Based on the Random House Unabridged Dictionary, copyright Random House, Inc. 2006.
1. List words you encountered in this text that are not part of your active vocabulary.
Look up the definition for these words.
_________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________
2. Find at least five examples of words (or phrases) that provoked an emotional response.
Is your primary response to each word positive or negative? Make notes about your
emotional response to the words.
Positive
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Negative
3. How does an understanding of the meaning of one of the words listed in the previous
table affect your response to the article?
_________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________
jPosing Questions
When you know you are going to be responding to a reading, posing questions in the
margins or on a separate sheet of paper is a good practice. You can pose questions
directly to the author or questions that ask you to think more about issues that are being
addressed or that prompt further research on your part.
In the first three paragraphs of Should We Study White People? page 95, a student
might pose questions such as:
Could there be anything about Essigs class that causes the negative reactions before
students enter the course? The title?
Is white guilt real? Do whites feel uncomfortable with their whiteness? Is white
guilt only liberal?
What does the election of Obama mean for race in the U.S.?
j Taking Notes
Good readers use various note-taking strategies when they are reading. They may write
their notes down on a separate sheet of paper or on the margins of the reading itself.
Readers may underline main ideas or key phrases, or they may pull out quotations; they
may also pose questions and note main ideas.
The following is one example of how a reader might take notes on the first three paragraphs of Donald Rubins study Nonlanguage Factors Affecting Undergraduates Judgments of Nonnative English-Speaking Teaching Assistants, page 84.
Importantly, the reader in this example is not simply highlighting important ideas. She
is attempting, even at this stage of reading, to interact with the text, as she knows she is
going to be asked to respond to it.
Activity
As you read the articles, take notes that you can later show your instructor. You will
want to indicate the paragraph or paragraphs that you are taking notes on.
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Cultural training as
well as language
Look up
reciprocal. Main
point of the report?
Undergrads are part
of the problem, too.
Observers who have been even moderately sensitive to the voices of North American college students in
recent years can appreciate the depth of undergraduates concerns about the quality of instruction offered
at many campuses by nonnative English-speaking teaching assistants (NNSTAs). The NNSTA crisis is
one of relatively few instructional issues in higher education that has captured the attention of the popular
press (Hess, 1987; Verhovek, 1989). In several states, legislatures have directly intervened in policies
regarding NNSTAs (e.g., Instructors Broken English Prompts Illinois Law, 1987; Thomas and Monoson,
1991).
To the thinking of the press and of the policymakersand probably also of the undergraduate students
the root of the problem is NNSTAs poor English-language proficiency (Bailey, 1984). Accordingly,
many universities have responded by erecting procedures for screening NNSTAs language skills (see
discussions of these tests in Abraham and Plakans, 1988; Dunn and Constantinides, 1991; Gallego,
Goodwin, and Turner, 1991; Heller, 1985; Yule and Hoffman, 1990). Those deemed deficient are channeled
into remediation programs (Turitz, 1984). For the most part, these remedial workshops appear to focus
on discrete language behaviors, especially pronunciation and use of idioms (Verhovek, 1989). This
focus is not illogical, since many of the current groups of NNSTAs have had little exposure to English
as a medium of oral communication. A more recent and educationally progressive approach combines
language remediation with training in generic instructional communication skills and in cultural norms
associated with American undergraduates (e.g., Althen, 1991; Byrd, Constantinides, and Pennington,
1989; Pica, Barnes, and Finger, 1990).
The common assumption of all these perspectives on NNSTAs is that it is the internationals who bear
the onus for poor classroom communication, and therefore it is the internationals who must undergo
transformation in the North American mold. An alternative perspective, in contrast, recognizes that
communication is a reciprocal process. If communication outcomes are poor in classes taught by
NNSTAs, then perhaps the responsibility ought to be shared alike among NNSTAs and the American
undergraduate student body.
Scattered evidence warrants the plausibility of this alternative view, the view that the NNSTA problem is
at least partially a problem of undergraduates negative stereotyping. For example, Orth (1982) found that
undergraduate students ratings of their NNSTAs speaking proficiency were only weakly related to expert
ratings of the NNSTAs language proficiency. Instead, undergraduate ratings of NNSTAs were biased by
the grades they anticipated receiving from those NNSTAs.
Activity
As you read the articles, write down questions, either to the authors, to yourself, or perhaps to your own readers. These questions could express doubts that you have about the
authors points or they could be questions that you need to think about more clearly and
address in your own response.
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What parts of this piece surprised you? Why do you think it was a surprise? Does this
part fit with your experiences? Why? Why not?
What parts were difficult to understand? What about it was difficultreading/language? Ideas/positions? Emotions/reactions?
Do you have any experiences that relate to the issues in the piece? How do they
relate? Do your experiences complicate the ideas in the piece or simplify them?
As you were reading, what seemed to be the biggest stretch for you? What parts
were you nodding at?
Who is the audience for this piece of writing? Are you a member of that group? Why
or why not? What does the writer hope that audience will do with the information
presented? What can you do with the information?
With as much study as I have done on the issue of race, I have never been personally affected by it. I have never felt discriminated against because of my race. I have
rarely felt out of place because of my race, even if I was a minority in the situation. I
have never truly resented my race or another race.
Even through all my efforts in understanding the black predicament and promoting racial equality, I still find myself thinking negative thoughts about other races.
I scorn myself for thinking that way. Subconscious thoughts of white superiority
still sneak up on me, despite my efforts to curb them. This makes me feel ashamed,
and truly bothers me. I meditate on why these unfair thoughts sometimes enter my
mind, and my only answer is because I have not been exposed to very many people
of different races yet, and am too accustomed to whites having the upper hand.
I do not want to notice when I am talking to a person who is not of my race. I dont
mentally think, Oh, this person is white when I talk to most people at Villanova,
so why should I think, Oh, this person is black when I talk to an African American
person? I dont want to notice race in the way that I do now.
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Thinking about the future, I have decided that I want to live in an integrated community, send my kids to an integrated school, and worship in an integrated church.
I want to further racial reconciliation and understanding. I do not want my children
to think twice about dating or befriending a person of a different race. I pray that I
do not seek out and live in an all-white suburb just because it is easy and the norm.
I want to see no color, and if I do, I want to see a mix of colors, and not continue to
be surrounded by a dangerous blanket of white.
Derek was a white student from Villanova University. While working at a country
club as a golf caddy for a group of people, he was offended when they exhibited racist
behavior toward his fellow caddy.
I caddied at the country club near my house. I did it on a fairly regular basis, got
to know many of the members; and because I enjoyed golf so much, the job was
pretty enjoyable for me. All this led me to become a fairly decent caddy. As a result,
I quickly received the loops with the best golfers who usually paid the best money.
They were very courteous and considerate to me, took my opinion on different matters into consideration, and most importantly to me, paid me well. All the men were
successful in their occupations, well respected around the community, and very
good at golf, so in many ways I looked up to them.
I dont want to sound too dramatic, but all of this changed one morning when I was
paired with a new caddie on the other two bags. He was black and while there were
fewer black caddies, they were not uncommon at the club. For the first few holes
everything seemed normal, but it seemed as though Brandon was doing more work
than I was. I guess because I was young and stupid I assumed that Brandon was
doing more because he was new and these guys knew me. I thought it was a seniority
thing.
On the eighth hole of that round, one of the men hit a ball way to the right into a
hazard. Brandon and I stomped around the hazard with the other men, attempting
to find the ball until two of the men told me to give up and take their bags up to
their own balls. As the three of us walked to the balls, one man said to me You are
working pretty hard today, relax and let the nigger do the work, and the other man
responded with, Yeah, his ancestors are used to doing the work for us. The men
chuckled about the joke, with smiles that were so condescending and superior.
Those words hit me like someone had kicked out the back of my legs. I had in many
ways idealized these men and may have painted them in a light they could never fulfill. However, for me as a fourteen-year-old, the shock was that I had always seen racists portrayed in a negative wayas coming from a poor background, having little
education, and living in trailer parks. These men did not fit any of these stereotypes.
I just really felt foolish and disillusioned for putting these men on a pedestal and for
living in my own little world where I thought racism did not exist. After this I began
to change the groups for which I would caddy. While I did caddy for this group occasionally, I did not do it nearly as much nor did I enjoy it as much as I did in the past.
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Caroline was a white student at Middle Tennessee State University. She describes
how awkward it was when a white acquaintance inadvertently used a racist remark
in front of some black men in her apartment complex.
My worst racial experience made me very uncomfortable. It occurred last summer
while I was suntanning with my best friend at a pool. The pool is at a local apartment complex by our campus, so everyone there were college students. There were
about fifteen of us in the hot tub; two black guys that had been at the pool for about
an hour were nearby. Most of the guys in the pool are what you would call very
country-like and very loud. All of us in the pool/hot tub were white; so when the
two black guys got into the hot tub everyone noticed. It had an awkward feeling for
a moment because everyone stopped what they were doing to look at the guys, but
after a few seconds everyone continued and it was nothing unusual. One of the guys
in the hot tub has a very loud and obnoxious personality and he was having a conversation with a few of the other guys sitting next to him when out of the blue he said,
Quit acting like a nigger. He was directing it to one of his friends, but as soon as it
came out of his mouth we were all looking at him, at the two black guys, and at each
other in disbelief. All of us in the hot tub were totally silenced. As soon as my friend
fully realized what he had said he apologized to the black guys and said that he didnt
mean to use that word. The black guys just sat there looking stunned, and then one
of them said that it wasnt cool of him to use that word. I was so embarrassed and
felt so sorry for the two black guys. I didnt want them to associate me with this
friend of mine, because I am not a racist and never have used the word nigger in
any sentence or in my thoughts. The black guys accepted my friends apology after
saying choice words first. After staying another five minutes, the black guys then got
up and left. As soon as they left, we were all yelling at our friend. Not one person in
the hot tub agreed with what he jokingly had said and we were all embarrassed and
angry. I know that this isnt a very bad racial experience, but to me it was horrible
and mortifying just to be present and a witness to the incident. By simply association, I felt so ashamed for what that one shallow friend had so unthinkingly thought
and than unthinkingly blurted out.
Lynn was a black student attending Howard University. She has had a variety of
experiences that others in this book described as racist. However, she does not believe
they compare to the experiences of others in the past. Do you think she is correct?
I have experienced racism a lot in the nineteen years that I have been on this earth.
One thing I havent experienced yet is my worst racial experience. Yes, I have been
called the n word and I have been discriminated against because Im an African
American. I have come across people who thought they were superior to me because
I am a young, intelligent, African American female. Although I have experienced
these things, they arent anything compared to the racism that went on during slavery and the Civil Rights Movement. One would think that by growing up in a predominately white west suburb of Chicago (one of the most segregated ones in the
United States), that I would have plenty to tell. Well, I dont.
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Now dont get me wrong. Im not blinded. As a matter of fact, Im well aware that
the racial experiences I have had dont compare to the experiences of my parents,
my grandparents, Rosa Parks, Dr. King, Medger Evers, Malcolm X, and many more
of my African American ancestors. I feel like being called the n-word is nothing
compared to being called the n-word while being beaten. I feel like being watched
while I shop in a store is nothing compared to not having a choice about what store I
would like to shop in. By no means am I justifying the racial experiences that I have
hadIm in some way grateful for them. Im grateful for the era in which I was born
because I dont know if I would have the strength to deal with that kind of racism or
the courage to take a stand because of it.
I think one of the main reasons why I cant think of a bad racial experience is that
racism is not done in the same form. There is no doubt in my mind that racism still
exists. Its just that people arent being as bold anymore. People have realized that
there are now consequences for their actions such as serving time in jail or having
to pay money. People are not so willing to beat up a person just because they are of
another race.
Kevin was a black student attending the University of Maryland. Another black student called him white because he did not want to play basketball.
During the summer before my eighth-grade year my parents enrolled me in a summer enrichment program called F.A.M.E. The program was for minorities who were
interested in engineering. It was the first time in several years that I had sat in a
classroom where most of the students were black. I discovered that almost all the
kids in the program came from middle-class backgrounds like I did so I never felt
any difference between me and the other students. One day during our free time
period a kid came up to me and asked me if I wanted to play basketball. Even though
I liked playing basketball I was engrossed in a book I was reading at the time, and
said something like, Not really, I want to finish reading this book. The kid, who
was black, gave me a dirty look and said, Man, why you act like a white boy?
I will never forget how deeply wounded I felt when he said that to me. I remember
mumbling something to him and walking away. For the rest of the summer program
I was referred to as the white boy. I was deeply hurt because I felt that my own
people had rejected me and stripped me of my blackness. The whole issue of acting
white is harmful to the black community because it is dangerous for us to stereotype ourselves. It causes us to fill the roles of the stereotypes instead of just being
who we are. There is an interesting aspect of the acting white issue and the kid
who accused me of acting white is a perfect example of this. I would later find out
that his father was a prominent judge in the city of X. I remember my parents telling
me that his family had much more money than we did and they lived in an upperclass white neighborhood. Yet, because I would rather read a book instead of playing
basketball, this kid feels he has the right to call me a white boy? This is because the
black community has stereotyped itself. Through the different forms of the media,
blacks have defined acting black as engaging in activities like having lots of sex,
having fancy cars, and buying lots of diamond jewelry. Tragically we have classified
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activities like reading as acting white. That is why that kid, who had a judge for a
father, feels that reading is an activity that white people do. How sad is it that by the
age of twelve that kid had learned reading was not for black people. Instead of this
kid behaving like an upper-middle class kid from his neighborhood, he is trying to
act like his favorite rapper. Black people need to be whom they truly are instead of
trying to fill the role of some stereotype.
Cary was a black student at Howard University. While she was attending a summer science program in Colorado, she had to deal with the stereotypes of the white
students.
My worst racial experience took place during the summer before my senior year in
high school. I was selected to attend an eight-week program called Frontiers of Science at the University of Northern Colorado. The program was intended for high
school students from all over the state of Colorado, who proved to have a high interest in science. During their stay, each student was to conduct and present a scientific
experiment of then choice with the help of a few college professors and graduate
students. Of the thirty-five students selected, I was the only African American and
the only person from Denver.
I remember the first day I arrived at the dorm and saw everyone else. My heart just
fell to my stomach. I was so worried about what they would think and how they
would react to me. I thought I was going to be sick the whole eight weeks.
I was very uncomfortable for the first few weeks and I stayed to myself because I felt
like I was constantly on display. The other students had never really known a black
person and they believed many of the stereotypes about black people. They were
always asking questions like, How do you guys get your hair to do that? or Do you
ever get sunburn? or Do you guys really fight all the time? I could tell that some of
them were afraid of me based on the fact that I was black. Anytime I would speak to
them or ask them a question, they would try to cater to me. They were even afraid to
have a civil debate with me.
Eventually, I got tired of being the display, so I decided to call a meeting with everyone in which I told them that, I didnt appreciate the way that most of them reacted
to me just because Im black. I didnt mean that they had to be afraid of me or treat
me any differently. I let them know that even though I grew up differently than they
had, I was still a person who obviously had something in common with them or I
would not have been selected for the program. They all apologized for their actions
and told me that they did not mean to make me feel uncomfortable but they were
curious. I could understand that and I told them that we were all mature and if they
had a question or wanted to know something, they should ask me in a respectable
manner. From then on, things got better and I was able to be more involved with
group activities. However, I could tell that they were still a little shocked at the greatness of my experiment presentation on the Further Characterization of Morphine60-D Glucuronide (M6G), but I still try not to fault them for that. I know that we all
hold certain views of different races and it is not always our own fault. I still keep in
contact with most of them through e-mail.
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Kimberly was a white student who attended the University of Maryland. She was told
her opinion did not count in an African American literature class.
I am a white English major with a concentration in literature of the African Diaspora. I believe that I have very different experiences from other white people because
of this fact. My classes have a majority of black students, are taught by black professors, and deal with books about blackness by black authors. My worst racial experience recently occurred in one of these classes.
In one of my African American literature classes, the class was discussing two
works by Jamaica Kincaid. During the class discussion one girl said that I would
never understand the books because I am white. I wonder how it is that my opinion
is somehow invalid because I am white. If I cant understand black literature, black
art, or black people then how can they understand me?
It is this burning question that tears me apart. I will never know what it is like to be
physically black, but then how is my whiteness so easily understood, so simple?
I sat in class and I brooded. What right does she have to tell me I dont understand
because my skin is pale? The girl was from an affluent suburb in Montgomery
County, not Antigua; she had a maid in her house and she was never a slave. I hate
slavery, I hate colonialism, and I hate oppression in whatever form it takes.
So, maybe this wasnt the worst experience after all. Perhaps this was the best one, as
it forced me to really do some soul searching. j
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of the current groups of NNSTAs have had little exposure to English as a medium
of oral communication. A more recent and educationally progressive approach combines language remediation with training in generic instructional communication
skills and in cultural norms associated with American undergraduates (e.g., Althen,
1991; Byrd, Constantinides, and Pennington, 1989; Pica, Barnes, and Finger, 1990).
The common assumption of all these perspectives on NNSTAs is that it is the internationals who bear the onus for poor classroom communication, and therefore it is
the internationals who must undergo transformation in the North American mold.
An alternative perspective, in contrast, recognizes that communication is a reciprocal process. If communication outcomes are poor in classes taught by NNSTAs,
then perhaps the responsibility ought to be shared alike among NNSTAs and the
American undergraduate student body.
Scattered evidence warrants the plausibility of this alternative view, the view that
the NNSTA problem is at least partially a problem of undergraduates negative
stereotyping. For example, Orth (1982) found that undergraduate students ratings
of their NNSTAs speaking proficiency were only weakly related to expert ratings
of the NNSTAs language proficiency. Instead, undergraduate ratings of NNSTAs
were biased by the grades they anticipated receiving from those NNSTAs. For many
undergraduates, introductory courses in mathematics and the natural sciences have
reputations as extremely inhumane courses designed to winnow out marginal students. And it is well known that NNSTAs are disproportionately assigned responsibility for such high-anxiety classes (Constantinides, 1987). In addition, with an
increasing proportion of NNSTAs originating from East Asia (Zikopoulos, 1988),
it is likely that powerful ethnic stereotypes also factor into negative perceptions of
language proficiency and teaching ability (Brown, 1988).
analysis. Complete sets of usable data were obtained from 62 North American
undergraduates.
Procedures and Stimulus Materials
Each subject listened to a single tape-recorded speech sample lasting about four
minutes. The speech was presented as part of a lecture by a university instructor.
As subjects listened to the lecture, a slide photograph representing the instructor
was projected on a screen.
Instructor ethnicity was operationalized by projecting a photograph of either a Caucasian or an Asian (Chinese) woman. To avoid confounding ethnicity with physical attractiveness, both models were similarly dressed, were of similar size and hair
style, and were photographed in the same setting and pose (standing at a lectern
in front of a chalkboard). No differences between the NNSTAs photographs in
rated physical attractiveness were found in any uses of these photographs (although
other factors like speech topic sometimes exerted significant effects on judgments
of attractiveness).
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The final discriminant model also included perceived accent, entered at step 2.
Inspection of cell means shows that accent was perceived as more foreign and less
standard in the case of the Asian instructors photograph. An additional 9.8 percent of participants were correctly classified into treatment groups when perceived
accent was added to the model.
Discussion
These results provide dramatic evidence that North American undergraduates are
reacting to factors extraneous to just language proficiency when they are asked to
react to NNSTAs. In the study, only a single language variety was used: Standard
American English. Still, when they were faced with an ethnically Asian instructor,
participants responded in the direction one would expect had they been listening
to nonstandard speech. Evidence from the discriminant analysis suggests that participants stereotypically attributed accent differencesdifferences that did not exist
in truthto the instructors speech. Yet more serious, listening comprehension
appeared to be undermined simply by identifying (visually) the instructor as Asian.
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The pessimistic conclusion warranted here is that at least among this particular
sample of undergraduates even vigorous pronunciation training for NNSTAs will
matter little. Ethnically Asian instructors who speak Standard American English
apparently confront similar dysfunctional attitudes as those who do speak with
marked nonnative accents.
Conclusion
Brislin (1981) notes that contact alone is surely not a potent enough force to change
deeply held prejudices. Instead, changing intergroup attitudes requires an environment rich in informal and pleasant contact, some degree of interpersonal intimacy
and equality, and support from the participants own reference groups. Future programs for improving undergraduate attitudes toward NNSTAs should incorporate
these elements. Still, such programs will require labor-intensive and time-intensive
efforts, and will not be practical for the sort of large-scale sensitization needed on
college campuses. Principles for engineering large-scale attitude change in this particular intercultural context have yet to be articulated, much less tested.
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rising influx of university teachers from those particular ethnic groups. Quite possibly, the findings of these studies would not generalize to more Western NNSTAs,
say instructors from France or Germany.
Finally, it would be worth replicating these studies with more heterogenous groups
of undergraduates. Nonnative English speakers were deliberately excluded from the
sample here. It is possible that their reactions to NNSTAs are considerably different from mainstream culture North Americans. Moreover, the geographic region in
which this study was conducted has a relatively low proportion of nonnative English speakers and of Asians. These students are exposed to relatively little nonnative accented speech in their daily affairs. Furthermore, few of these students had
ever encountered a native English-speaking Asian-American instructor. No doubt
stereotypical reactions would be different among students with a greater variety of
cross-cultural experience. j
Not long ago, I was invited to give a guest lecture on working with diverse ethnic
groups to students in a course on counseling psychology. As part of my job as multicultural coordinator at the universitys counseling center, I train counseling supervisors and provide therapy, so the lecture topic obviously fit my areas of expertise.
After my talk, the professor asked if I could share with the students something about
the development of my ethnic identity as a Latina.
I felt that I was being asked to sum up what it was like to be Mexican. Because my
presentation had not covered Latino psychology or working with the Latino population per se, I was caught off guard. I asked the professor to repeat the question, just
to give myself time to think. Was I really supposed to share, on demand, personal
experiences that had shaped me?
I found myself wondering whether one of my white colleagues would ever hear: In
the time we have left, I wonder if you could tell us a bit about when you came to grips
with your white privilege or racism?
My first thought was to observe that asking the question exemplified white privilege. But even as I searched for a more appropriate response, I knew that the question was a wake-up call about what I may expect as a professional of color. I realized
that my continuing education of others did not end last year when I left graduate
schoolanother setting in which I was one of too few voices representing diversity.
Moreover, the question alerted me once again to the deceptively benign nature of
white privilege, even in academe.
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Because my lecture had focused on the development of racial identity, rather than
Latino values, I suspected that the professor was not asking me to talk about my
culture as much as about my experienceas a person of colorof prejudice, shame,
pain, and rage. Here was one of those cases in which members of minority groups
are not treated the same as whites, who are seldom asked to bare their souls in the
interest of educating people from a different ethnic group. Although I was taken
aback by the question, my cultural upbringing (which emphasizes respect for my
elders and authority figures) made it impossible for me to challenge the professor in
front of the students.
I felt compelled to say something, and something that I hoped the professor would
not find disrespectful. So I began with a lie, stating that of course I am happy to
share information about myself. Then I explained that such sharing can be a doubleedged sword: When only members of ethnic minorities are asked to share, it reinforces the notion that whites have no culture to share. Accordingly, I gently invited
the professor to share some personal experiences with the class as well.
For my part, I began with the story of my familys migration to the United States,
which bought me some time to think. Then I talked about how I had learned that no
matter how hard my family tried, or how equal we looked from an economic standpoint, I would often be called a spic. I described a visit I made to a friend, two weeks
after I earned my doctoral degree. When I neared the house, a stranger who was one
of my friends neighbors asked me if I was there to clean the house. I am looking for
someone to clean my house, too, she told me.
Clearly, I did not fit her model of the type of person who would live in or visit her
exclusive, gated community. As a Mexican woman, I fit her idea of a housekeeper,
not a houseguest.
I sometimes feel that racism can be like a car that zooms past and splashes you with
water from the nearest puddle, leaving your clothes soiled. Although my racist experiences were not my fault, at the end of the day, I was the one walking around with
the sullied spirit, wishing I could wipe away the stains. The perpetrator goes on his
or her way, often not even aware of having offended anyone.
As I shared my stories, I couldnt help wondering how it would change the students
perception of me as a professional. Would they feel pity or embarrassment when
they saw me again? Or would they quickly forget what I had said? Which would be
worse? I understood the professors hope that my remarks would be educational, but
it seemed to me that whatever I said could diminish my credibility and status as a
professional in the students eyes.
I left the class feeling exposed; I was also confused about how to deal with that feeling. I knew that I felt vulnerable because of what I had revealed to the students. I told
myself it was not the professors faultI could have decided to share less about my
past. But I had barely had time to think what to say. In addition I suspected that my
reaction was another facet of white privilege: People of color often react to racism by
blaming themselves for being too sensitive.
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The experience made me wonder when in the future I will be asked to share my
story with predominantly white audiences or students whom I might have to supervise. How would I seize the opportunity to educate, without making myself feel vulnerable or as if I needed to prove something?
I certainly would not want to discourage efforts to increase multicultural awareness,
but we too often expect people of color to do all the educating about diversity. In
dialogues on race relations, many whites say that they have no culture, or that they
are simply American. Too often we fail to challenge those assertions. Though we
have a growing body of literature related to white ethnic identity and white privilege,
too little of it is included in education about multicultural awareness. And beyond
the literature, white students and professors need to explore their own identities.
It is too easy to focus on the group that we see as the other instead of exploring
ourselves.
Now I need to figure out how to prepare myself for future confrontations with white
privilege. How can whites become more conscious of the impact that their actions,
comments, and assumptions have on people of color? How can we make whites
more aware of their blind spots?
Multicultural education can help enlighten professors and students by including white culture in racial dialogue: In this country, all culture and ethnicity exist
within the context of white privilege. Remember the popular metaphor of looking
out the window. We are so used to seeing what is outside that we dont notice how
the window itself shapes our perception. Multicultural awareness means refocusing
our eyes so that we see the window. Is there a windowpane? Does the glass have a
crack? Is there a screen? How do those factors influence our view of what we think
we see? In order to help students see the windows of their culture, we need to engage
white students in a dialogue about their culture, worldview, and privilege.
It would be particularly helpful if white professors shared their own journey of selfawareness with students. That openness would make fellow professionals and students of color feel less vulnerable, and it would be a valuable example for white studentsespecially if the professors described moments when they recognized their
own prejudice.
In addition, graduate schools need to teach students of color how to handle racism
both conscious and unconsciousin academe, how to educate their future white
colleagues and peers about white privilege, and how to serve as mentors for their
own students of color.
I wish the professor had asked me before class if I would be comfortable talking
about myself to the students. I continue to struggle with the question of how much
to disclose in the future. Unfortunately, that was not on the curriculum in my graduate school. j
Whose Culture Is It, Anyway? by Elizabeth A. Reyes as appeared in The Chronicle
of Higher Education, September 17, 2004. Reprinted by permission of Elizabeth
A. Reyes.
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Most of my class and dorm mates were white, middle class kids who lived in small,
predominantly white towns. As a light skinned Guyanese-American woman, they
found me hard to peg and I was privy to my share of racist jokes. Once, during
Black History Month, our dining hall happened to be serving fried chicken and
watermelon, in addition to numerous other options. A girl on my floor dim wittedly
cracked, What a way to celebrate Black History Month! Half the room shared an
uneasy silence, while the other erupted into laughter. I was shocked into silence and,
looking back, I wish I could have said something. Since then, Ive found that dealing with racist jokes is best handled by playing dumb. A simple, I dont get it, and
a couple of leading questions will encourage them to try and explain their joke and
help them realize that relying on tired and racist stereotypes isnt funny or clever in
the least.
Ive also encountered a very common situation: People saying racist things, but not
realizing, or refusing to acknowledge that theyre racist. The most bizarre example
of this occurred as a group of friends and I were walking back from a party. Shortly
after chastising someone for using the word Jiggaboo to describe his black friends
back home, my roommate and another girl began to discuss the physical differences
between white people and black people. A snippet of the conversation? And why
does their hair do that? Like, why is it like that? Its like theyre a whole different species! They kind of, here she lowered her voice, look like animals a little. I shared a
look with another friend and simply said, Whoa, Im not even gonna participate in
this conversation. However, my roommate and the girl she was talking to still didnt
understand why what they said was offensive.
In this case, I was too tired and too overwhelmed to say anything else. I still get
overwhelmed every time I think about this scenario because I cant possibly conceive how they would think such banter is acceptable. I wish I had asked them why
they think its okay to liken black people to animals and expand from there. Engaging them in a conversation would have helped me to sort out my own thoughts,
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while helping them to understand the underlying racism in their statements, but at
the time I felt too emotional to understand that this could have been a key moment
for dialogue, or, at the very least, a witty retort.
The scariest sort of situation was dealing with hostile, purposeful racism. At the
beginning of the year, when people didnt know I had a Muslim last name, or that my
father was Muslim, I heard a student loudly decry, Fucking Muslim scum, fucking
ruining our country. Motherfuckers, at a party further down my hall. I also heard
cheers, egging him on. I was in my room at the time and couldnt see who had said
it. And quite frankly, I was too terrified to go see. When it comes to direct confrontations, I draw the line at putting myself in dangerous situations. I wish I would
have told my RA, but I was too scared of stirring up trouble so early in the year. As
a consequence, I often felt unsafe and alienated from many of the kids on my floor.
My first year of college went badly because I was often made to feel like the Other.
I suffered most of it in silence because I was lucky enough to have this all be a new
experience for me. But silence is rarely the way to handle racism. Earlier this year,
Alexandria Wallaces rant against Asians at her school shocked YouTube viewers.
The media was quick to demonize her and use her as a figurehead to purport Americas supposed color-blind agenda. But how can we act so shocked when the same
things Wallace said are repeated amongst friends just sharing a joke all the time
on supposedly liberal college campuses? Wallace was surrounded by a culture that
encouraged racism. I imagine the UCLA campus is probably ripe with racist jokes
about Asians that go unchecked.
One of the posts read, ewww a obabacare (sic) is in the room, i feel dirty, and
unsafe. keep a eye on all of your valuables and dont make direct eye contact.
ijust threw up in my mouth right now
In another post, one of the women wrote, were two white girlsshe already has
her (N-word) instinct to kill us and use us to her pleasure
In the past, this sort of conversation between two white students might have happened in handwritten notes passed in class. While some may view such overt
expressions of racism a thing of the past, overtly racist comments often occureven
todayin the backstage (white-only space), as research by Leslie Pouts-Hicca and
Joe Feagin demonstrates. Social media has changed all that now. As more white
people spend time online, they forget that the comments they think theyre making in the backstage (white-only spaces) are easily made public and shared in the
frontstage by people who do not share their views (or, have other agendas). As
more of these expressions of overt racism come to light, it forces all of us to decide
again and again what is socially acceptable and what isnt, especially on college campuses. The question for colleges and universities is also what can and should be done
about incidents like this one?
Many people, like the young man quoted in this article, think that: If you really
do believe in free speech, they shouldnt be punished. But free speech is not that
simple. There are a couple of issues here.
First, the UMD has an anti-hate policy, which the white girls clearly violated.
Second, the framers of the U.S. Constitution didnt have Facebook in mind when
they were drafting the First Amendment to protect free speech. No one has a constitutionally protected right to be on Facebook. If you use Facebook, you have to abide
by their Terms of Service (TOS) agreement which prohibits overtly racist speech
(although its only sporadically enforced). If weall of us, users of Facebookallow
it there, were condoning a return to overt racism of Jim Crow.
In my view, the white girls at UMD who racially harassed their African American
classmate deserve some kind of punishment from the university. To address this
sort of behavior, I want to suggest that human rights is a better, more useful frame
for dealing with cyber racism than censorship and free speech.
There are no reports that Ive been able to find (interesting fact in itself) about what
the African American student who was the target of this racism has to say. Ill bet
that her experience of college life (+ life in general) has been damaged in some way
by this run-in with her two white friends. At the very least, she has a new awareness of that her college campus is just a little less safe from racism than it was
before. In some ways, its not surprising that this African American students story
is not being reported. As critical race scholars have pointed out, the victims story
is almost never told. Our understanding of free speech shifts when we listen to
these stories.
In 2003, the Supreme Court of the U.S. ruled that a burning cross is *NOT* protected
speech (Virginia v. Black). Part of that ruling declared that a burning cross has no
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Given this re-framing of free speech, it seems clear to me that a college campus
should be a place where we want to protect all of our students from the intentional
infliction of emotional distress at the same time we encourage a lively exchange of
ideas. j
Cyber Racism on College Campuses by Jessie Daniels, as appeared in Race-Talk.
May 4, 2010. www.race-talk.org.
Of course, when you teach a course called White People, you are bound to take
some teasing. Someone suggested that its a course to paint white people as bad.
Another friend said Im just trying to relieve my liberal white guilt. But I reject both
the claim that all white people are the same and the claim that to critically examine
ones racial position is motivated by guilt rather than the sociological imagination.
To me, the question that motivates white studies is the same as the question that
motivates sociology: How does social power operate in our everyday lives?
But according to Alex P. Kellogg, who wrote a piece at CNN last week called Has
whiteness studies run its course at US colleges? my new course may already be
DOA. Thats because, according to Kellogg, most college students believe we live in
a post racial America and
Kellogg summarizes the field as one that is fundamentally out of sync with the
way college students, including students of color, see this postracial America, since
whiteness studies
argues that white privilege still exists, thanks largely to structural and institutional racism, and that the playing field isnt level, and whites benefit from it.
That is hardly the white studies field I know. White studies, like critical race studies more generally, actually offers a far more nuanced notion of power and how it
operates than whites are bad. Indeed, critical race studies has been able to weave
together the various strands of the hairball that is social power so that race is always
considered as entangled with class, sexuality, gender, the body, geography, and more.
White studies is able to show the historical formation of whiteness as a racial category that has always been embedded with things like class, gender and sexuality (one
need only think of the figure of the white lady alongside the figure of white trash).
As such, white studies is hardly a simplistic and didactic lesson in racial privilege
(although surely it can also explain the privileging of certain forms of whiteness).
On the one hand, I am disturbed by Kelloggs claim that teaching whiteness is equivalent to pointing out white privilege. But as disturbing as I found Kelloggs description of white studies, I found the comments to his article even more disturbing.
Consider these:
Let whites keep busy on the work of science and technology, advancing the human
species. No! We must degrade whites and tell them they are racists and show no
appreciation for what they are and have done for humanity. Does demeaning of
whites help the cause of human progress?
and this:
Indeed, reading the responses to Kelloggs article is a reminder of how much resistance there is among those marked as white to even acknowledge that they have
a racial position in the world, let alone a privileged one. How often have I had to
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tell white students that they must discuss race in their papers only to have them
respond but there is no race. Everyone Im studying is white.
If nothing else, this response is compelling evidence that white studies has hardly
run its course. If anything, white studies has merely been absorbed into other
coursesrather like much of gender studies hasso that any course that attempts
to unravel social power is forced to deal with the race/class/gender/sexuality hairball
that by definition involves both white privilege and white abjection.
Should We Study White People? by Laurie Essig, as appeared in The Chronicle of
Higher Education. February 6, 2012. j
Writing a Summary
Before you get too far in thinking about your Invitational Writing, it is important to
be able to accurately and objectively summarize the authors ideas. Summarizing is an
essential academic task in research writing. Summary writing allows you to demonstrate
your understanding of a text, and it is often important to include a summary that provides context for your interaction with the texts ideas.
It is difficult to write an accurate, thorough summary by merely skimming an article and
jotting down a few remembered main ideas. Your memory might be faulty; additionally,
you might inadvertently plagiarize the authors words. In order to avoid such problems,
we offer says and does statements as a useful strategy for summary writing. This
method of analysis is borrowed from Kenneth Bruffees A Short Course in Writing. The
method can be used to help you better understand something you are reading, help you
in planning your writing, or help you in analyzing your own writing.
provides background
presents a subclaim
provides a transition
presents a claim
provides a definition
provides clarification
This list is not comprehensive, but other phrases used should follow this format, focusing
on a paragraphs function rather than its meaning.
Activity: Says/Does
For difficult paragraphs in the reading, use says and does statements to help summarize.
Paragraph #:
Says:
Does:
Paragraph #:
Says:
Does:
Paragraph #:
Says:
Does:
Paragraph #:
Says:
Does:
Paragraph #:
Says:
Does:
In most closed-form academic writing in the United States, the points are usually closely
connected to the particulars. The author will most often introduce the particularsan
example or quotationand may even indicate how these particulars are relevant to the
point he or she is making.
Here is a chart of some points and particulars from the article, Whose Culture Is It
Anyway? by Elizabeth Reyes.
Main Point
Particular
j 25-Word Summary
One excellent way to understand the overall main point of an articlethe authors main
thesis or argumentis to write a mini-summary. This allows you to focus on what the
author is most concerned about. As you only have 25 words to spare, make sure that you
include only the authors main point. You can use this as a stepping stone to your larger
summary. Remember, you need to use exactly 25 words.
Make sure you represent the authors ideas completely, accurately, and fairly:
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If you dont yet understand the text youre summarizing, take the time to reread and
revisit your says and does statements; then put those notes away and write in your
own words.
Your writing should reflect an objective and neutral tone. By paying careful attention
to word choice, you will be able to keep your own judgment out of the summary.
Workshop guide
Writer
Date
Reader
Summary
Please read carefully through the entire summary before you begin answering the workshop questions.
1. In your opinion, has the writer misunderstood any claims from the original in his or
her summary? If so, discuss these potential misunderstandings with the writer.
2. Is the summary complete (does it cover all of the original texts main ideas and any
important sub-claims)? If it is complete, explain why you think so; if not, please share
with the writer what you think is missing. Remember that a reader who is not familiar with the original text should be able to understand the gist of the text from this
summary.
3. Is the summary both accurate and fair? If it is, point out one or two examples for the
writer to know whats working; if not, underline any phrases that need to be more
carefully paraphrased.
4. Does the writer appropriately organize the summary? Are the most important claims
presented first? Does the writer need to delete unnecessary details?
5. Overall, does the writer make it clear whose ideas are being represented? Identify any
places that need introduction or attribution.
6. Lastly, read the summary once more for style: does the writer use present tense? Is
the writer clear in his or her presentation of the articles ideas? Is the original material
properly documented?
4
4
4
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This exercise of responding as a believer and as a doubter can also be useful in more
immediately practical ways. For example, imagine that your roommate is trying to choose
a major. As a friend, you want to help with the decision-making process. As you try to
help your friend decide whether or not to major in agricultural economics (for example),
this strategy of thinking can be quite useful. As you listen/respond with the grain, you
might mention various examples of people you know who, having majored in this field,
have found fulfilling jobs. You might also give some information from a USA Today poll
forecasting a tremendous number of jobs available in this area during the next decade.
While listening/responding against the grain, you might ask your friend about his low
grades in some of the courses required for this major. You might also mention someone
you know who was able to find a job in this area despite having majored in something else.
Its important to remember that reading with the grain is more than simply agreeing
with the author, and reading against the grain is more than simply disagreeing with the
author. It can be difficult or threatening to try to see the validity of a line of reasoning
with which you disagree, but being able to explore the ambiguity of difficult issues is
invaluable in your journey to become an engaged critical thinker.
Reading With the Grain
Try to see the world through the authors eyes, reading as a believer. Dont falsify your
position, but try to find some common ground.
Even if this authors position is contradictory to your own, consider whether there
are people other than yourself for whom this claim would be valid. Remember that
they might not simply be wrong, but instead may have different experiences or reasons that influence their perspective and angle of vision.
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Find examples from your experience that support the authors points.
Consult sources the author mentions to provide a broader context for his/her discussion. Bring in more detail from these sources in support.
Even if this authors position is similar to your own, consider why it might be flawed
in some contexts. Are there people other than yourself for whom these ideas would
not be valid?
Consider other potential perspectives or angles of vision. Can you imagine contexts,
reasons, or experiences that could contribute to a different perspective?
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Activity
Use the remaining space below to make notes for your With the Grain and Against the
Grain responses.
With the Grain
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How different or similar are the audiences of the readings or how the authors attempt
to reach these audiences?
What are the main problems or controversies that these readings are responding to?
Are these problems the same? Different? How?
Are there any differences in the assumptions that the authors make in these different
readings? Any differences in their values and beliefs?
Do you find one of the readings more interesting or more credible than the other?
Why do you think that is so?
Have these readings changed your thinking about an issue? If so, in what way? If they
havent changed your perspective about something, why do you think that is?
What new perspective or idea comes out of relating these readings? What is something new that you can say?
For your readers who have read only one of the articles that you are synthesizing,
what do you think they will find surprising or interesting about the connections that
you are making?
and dysfunctional and deeply ingrained attitudes that students hold when evaluating their non-English speaking Graduate Teaching Assistantsespecially when they are
angry about their grades? (Rubins). How can they counteract the jokes, chatter, comments, and behavior that a single student like Mohamed felt that she had to counteract;
importantly, these were experiences that drove her to attend a new university where she
felt more comfortable. Or, what can administrators do in order to police the racist language that white students might use when texting and messaging each other?
Certainly, I can see the policing role that universities can take when it comes to explicit
and obvious cases of racial slurs and harassment. Our Kansas State University policies,
for example, clearly cover such acts of racial harassment. The 20112012 Undergraduate Catalogue states clearly that K-State prohibits harassment due to race, color, ethnic
or national origin, sex, sexual orientation, gender identity, religion, age, ancestry, [and]
disability that interferes with a students learning or living experience and creates an
intimidating, hostile, or offensive work or educational environment for the person. In
cases in which there are obvious victims, documented evidence of hateful and harassing speech, and perpetrators with clear intentions, this type of policy has a powerful
institutional authority, one that can protect students and expel others from the K-State
community who have clearly stepped over what represents reasonable behavior. Yet,
how about the experiences and examples that Rubins, Mohamed, and the writers of the
Cyber Racism report point to? Would any of these be included under K-States harassment policy? And, although there certainly are victims, how clearly can we define the
perpetrators and get a sense of their intentions?
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Workshop guide
Writer
Date
Reader
Invitational Writing
Yes
Sort of
No
Yes
Sort of
No
Yes
Sort of
No
4. Does your classmate offer points that agree, disagree, complicate, Yes
qualify, and/or make additional connections to the original text(s)?
Sort of
No
5. Does your classmate provide evidence, examples, and details from Yes
his or her own experience to support his or her points fully?
Sort of
No
Sort of
No
Yes
4
4
4
For any areas that you checked Sort of, or No, please provide some comments here as to how your classmate
could revise:
4
4
4
4
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RUBRIC
Writer
Date
Invitational Writing
When submitting your response essay, be sure to include:
Your summary of the original text.
Rough drafts with workshop comments.
All notes and applicable assignments.
Additionally, remember to:
Include your last name and page number on each page.
Double space and use 12-point font.
Criteria
Unacceptable
(No Pass)
Acceptable
(Low Pass)
Average/
Above Average
(Pass)
Excellent
(High Pass)
Summary
PurposeProvides readers with the main
point of the original text; treats the authors
meaning and intentions fairly; demonstrates
understanding of original text and issue; provides adequate background.
OrganizationProvides audience with appropriate points from original text; organizes
points in a logical way; uses attributive tags.
Discussion
PurposeClear main point; clear discussion;
clear contribution to larger conversation.
SignificanceDiscussion relates to the
overall issue and moves the discourse on the
subject forward.
DevelopmentProvides readers with enough
explanation, detail, examples, research, and
evidence to support points.
OrganizationIs easy to follow; refers to
the authors points to refresh your readers
memory; clearly marks different points with
transitions.
ToneProvides consistent tone.
ProofreadingFew distracting sentencelevel problems, spelling mistakes, etc. Meets
the basic formatting requirements.
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Notes:
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CHAPTER 5
Informative Writing
Assignment Guidelines
The informative report asks you to research an interesting topic related to this courses
focus on communities and identities. Your topic itself will therefore need to connect
in some way to identity issues such as race, class, gender, ethnicity, sexual orientation,
able-bodiedness, age, or geographic region. Additionally, you will direct your topic to a
local community who will find this information new, surprising, and informative. Your
instructor might ask you to identify a relevant K-State audience, or perhaps one from
your home community.
This assignment will develop your abilities to find and evaluate research sources and to
organize information for a specific audience. You may want to search the KSU website to
find a university administrator, student organization, or another campus group to write
to. You may also think about writing to incoming students, or even area high schools.
You will use invention strategies to determine what information will be new and surprising (as well as important, useful, and informative) for your chosen audience, and you will
learn more about your topic by researching it and organizing the information to meet
the needs and interests of your audience. Youll need to be very clear and specific about
your intended audience in order to think through what information they will find new,
surprising, and useful. Finally, you will be using a professional report format to convey
your information to your audience.
As this class is focused on informative writing, your primary goal is not to persuade
your audience to take a particular action; instead, you are providing new and surprising
information that you believe will be useful for your audience. It might help them to make
a more informed decision about a policy or practice, but you are not suggesting a policy
or practice change. Imagine, then, that your audience has asked you to compile relevant
information on this topic so that they can make their own decision. Think of your report
as a document that will allow your audience to get a good overview of the topic or pursue
additional research in the future. Remember, too, that this needs to be information that
the audience does not already have.
5
5
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In your report, then, you might clear up a misconception your readers have or inform
them about an aspect of the topic they might not have considered. For example, you
might investigate some of the concerns that students from small rural communities have
when navigating a larger campus and city, or that students from coastal areas have in
adapting to a living in a landlocked state. Or you might inform incoming students about
the economic costs of joining a sorority or fraternity so they can decide whether or not
they can afford to pledge. Or maybe you want to research the number of students in
mainstream high school classrooms with learning disabilities and connect it to the kinds
of training education majors receive in teaching students with disabilities. Keep in mind,
though, that this information needs to be new and surprising for your audience, so you
will also need to determine the knowledge needs of your intended audience.
As this is a researched piece, you will need to use outside sources that you will summarize, explain, evaluate, and connect to your audiences needs. These sources need to
be credible, appropriate, and also integral to your report. Your instructor will determine
how many sources are required, as well as the kinds of research you should consider.
You might consider, however, a variety of research, including more traditional text-based
research (books, articles, newspapers, journals, websites), as well as field research and
interviews. Whatever kind of research you use, it needs to be appropriate and useful for
your topic.
Finally, as this is a professional report, you will want to use section headers to help you
organize your report and to help a reader navigate your information.
Objectives
By the end of this assignment, you should be able to do the following:
Narrow a topic to one that is manageable and researchable for a given genre and
purpose.
Identify a topic and information that is both relevant and significant to a particular
audience.
Identify an audience and create a rationale for why this audience would have some
interest in a selected topic.
Research an issue related to communities and identities using integral, appropriate,
relevant resources.
Evaluate the appropriateness and credibility of research sources.
Understand, synthesize, and paraphrase source material correctly.
Properly and smoothly integrate outside sources into your own writing.
Apply the basic principles of MLA format.
Construct a properly formatted MLA works cited page.
Rationale
This assignment relates directly to several of the Undergraduate Student Learning Outcomes at K-State, including knowledge, diversity, communication, and academic and
professional integrity. Most importantly, this writing task asks you to pay attention to
your readers and to figure out how your topic is significant to them. In English 200, as
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well as other classes that demand serious academic writing, you will be expected to write
for different audiences, evaluate the credibility and suitability of research sources, and
find effective ways to organize and integrate these sources.
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Connection to family. It has largely been assumed that leaving home is equally
important for both genders, but we have found that it may be especially beneficial
for female students, who develop greater scholarly confidence, stronger leadership
skills, and a healthy sense of emotional well-being. For men, whether they live close
to home or thousands of miles away is less relevant.
Today, however, students and parents stay in frequent contact with each other. The
challenge facing colleges is how to encourage women to develop a healthy sense of
independence at the same time that they stay connected to their parents.
Questions for future research: Do women turn to their families because of academic
or social difficulties? Does their dependence on their families inhibit their personal
and academic development? How do the type and frequency of student-parent communications relate to students personal, academic, and social development?
Student-faculty interactions. Gender differences fall into three main categories. First, while interactions with faculty members encourage liberalism, political
engagement, and a commitment to social activism among all students, we generally
find that the more time men spend engaged in one-on-one interactions with faculty
members, the more liberal they become in their political views and the greater concern they develop about race relations and the welfare of the larger society.
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Second, men who work with faculty members on research or receive advice, encouragement, and support from them hold more egalitarian views on gender roles. They
become less supportive of the notion that the activities of married women are best
confined to the home and family. For women, the opposite is true: Those who spend
more time with faculty members, especially in the context of research, become more
committed to traditional gender roles.
Questions for future research: Could the trend of males benefiting more from the
presence of female faculty members result from such professors treating their male
students more favorably than their female students? Or, taking another perspective,
might the developmental benefits accrued to men result from having less exposure
to male faculty members? Are these findings due to a larger climate shift that occurs
when an institution employs more female faculty members? In other words, how
does the representation of female faculty members shape the culture of departments
and institutions, and what impact does that have on male and female students?
Academic engagement. In high school, women devote more time than men do to
studying, homework, and a range of academic and extracurricular activities. Women
also place greater value than men do on the intellectual benefits of going to college,
such as the opportunity to learn more about what interests them and to prepare
themselves for graduate school. Womens superior record of academic achievement
and intellectual engagement creates a gender gap that holds steady over the course
ofcollege.
But although men are less academically engaged than women, the influence of academic engagement is stronger for them. The time that men spend preparing for class
has a greater impact on their grades, academic confidence, critical-thinking skills,
and motivation to achieve. And the more time that men devote to their studies, the
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more interested they become in the larger political and cultural contexts that surround them, while the same is not true for women. Certainly, studying matters for
women as well, but it seems to make more of a difference for men.
Clearly, colleges need to consider strategies for encouraging greater academic
engagement among male students. As Jillian Kinzie, the associate director of the
Center for Postsecondary Research and National Survey of Student Engagement
Institute, and her colleagues suggested in a 2007 research paper on gender and student engagement, colleges should involve men more in learning communities, firstyear seminars, writing-intensive courses, student-faculty research, study abroad,
internships, and capstone seminars.
Questions for future research: How much do colleges consider the different academic
needs of male and female learners? Should strategies for promoting student engagement be the same for both?
The impact of diversity programs. My research found that experiences with diversity both inside and outside the classroom are more liberalizing, motivating, and
eye-opening for men than women. For example, attending racial- or cultural-awareness workshops or engaging in social diversitydating, dining, studying, or living
with someone of a different race or ethnicitycontributes more strongly to mens
desire to improve race relations. In addition, taking ethnicstudies courses and participating in racial-awareness and cultural-awareness workshops give rise to more
progressive gender-role attitudes among male students.
Yet, at the same time, such activities are also often accompanied by heightened feelings of discomfort in male students. Campuses should provide appropriate resources
for such studentsfollowing up with them in the weeks or even months after their
participation in diversity programming to gauge whether they may need counseling
or other support.
Questions for future research: Why are men more challenged and conflicted by
diversity experiences than women? What specific aspects of diversity programming
lead to such outcomes?
Careers and majors. Colleges often find it difficult to attract more women to pursue the traditionally male fields of engineering and computer science. Large numbers of women opt out of the science and engineering pipeline before they attend
college, often because of factors beyond colleges control, such as family influences
and early educational experiences.
But colleges are in a position to recruit and retain women who have the ability and
preparation for science and engineering careers yet who may nevertheless select
other career paths. They have an opportunity to educate students about the ways
in which math and science can help improve society and the human condition,
particularly at a time of tremendous progress in computer and biological technologies. The more that higher-education institutions can connect scientific concepts to
issues that women tend to care abouteducation, the environment, human rights
the more likely women will become scientists and create change in those areas.
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Finally, compared with men, women enter college with higher levels of self-reported
stress and lower ratings of their physical and emotional health. Such gender gaps
remain significant over four years of college and reflect the fact that men spend
more time on activities that can be considered ways to relieve stress (playing sports
and video games, partying, and watching television) while women often devote
themselves to a range of responsibilities that tend to induce stress (studying, homework, community service, and family responsibilities). Colleges should encourage all
students to strike a healthier balance between academics, extracurricular activities,
and leisure. We also need to develop a better understanding of what it means for a
student to maintain balance.
Although women have a numerical advantage in college, both genders face challenges to their adjustment and development. Just as we need to be concerned about
high stress and low self-esteem among women, we must be concerned about growing academic disengagement among men.
And while we aim to encourage all students to become engaged and involved, we
must be mindful that the dynamics of those experiences can be quite different
for the two genders, especially when it comes to students interactions with their
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professors. Thus, institutional efforts aimed at improving the college experience for
both genders must consider the distinct needs of each. j
Her College Experience Is Not His by Linda Sax, as appeared in The Chronicle of
Higher Education, Vol. 55, Issue 5, p. A32, September 26, 2008. Reprinted with
permission from Linda J. Sax.
What complicates social class even more is that it is not directly correlated with income
levels, though, over time, income levels may definitely impact class. In a series of articles
about social class, The New York Times defines it as a status system involving such variables as occupation, education, income, and wealth (these articles are available at www.
nytimes.com/class). These variables determine the individuals position in society and
influences how he or she is judged by others. Social class is tied to behaviors, tastes, and
dispositions that are passed from one generation to the next. It is powerful precisely
because it operates for the most part under the radar. Although many Americans are
indeed working class, they, as well as the media, pretend that they and everyone else are
middle class. Moreover, when people and families are depicted in movies and television
shows, rarely are the lives of working-class, poor, near poor, or even lower middle-class
families shown. Interestingly enough, the few times that social class is made obvious is by
the Redneck Comedians, such as Jeff Foxworthy, Larry the Cable Guy, or Bill Engvall,
who, when poking fun at working-class culture, are also revealing the entire class system
in the United States. If social class did not exist in the United States, then their jokes
would not be funny.
What does social class have to do about the university and campus life? How can you
research issues of social class and make it interesting and appropriate for an audience
connected to college life?
Start off first by exploring your own assumptions about social class. Look at the following questions and jot down some notes. Then, consider this question: What do these
questions suggest about social class?
1. Did anyone in your family attend college before you? If so, who and where did they go?
2. Do you work? If so, how many hours per week do you work?
3. When growing up, what was the typical vacation that you would take with your
family?
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119
Education
In October 1996, 48.6% of high school graduates in lower income families were
enrolled in college, compared with 62.7% from middle income families and 78%
from higher income families.
(U.S. Department of Commerce, Bureau of the Census, Current Population Survey)
Mean verbal SAT score for children in households with incomes below $10,000: 427
Mean verbal SAT score for children in households with incomes above $100,000: 559
Mean math SAT score for children in households with incomes below $10,000: 446
Mean math SAT score for children in households with incomes above $100,000: 572.
(SAT Program information, 1998)
Median household income for those with less than a 9thgrade education: $17,261
Median household income for those with a 9th12th grade education (no diploma):
$21,737
Median household income for high school graduates: $35,744
Median household income for college graduates, B.A.: $64,406
Median household income for college graduates, M.A.: $74,476
Median household income for professional degree holders: $100,000
(U.S. Census Bureau, 1999)
Class, Race, and Gender
Median net worth of a White American: $81,700
Median net worth of an African American: $10,000
(Edward N. Wolff, Recent Trends in Wealth Ownership, 19831998, April 2000)
Females
(The State of Working America 20002001, Economic Policy Institute, statistics are for 2000)
Attitude
36% of those earning $15,000 a year call themselves middle class.
49% of those with incomes between $35,000 and $49,999 call themselves middle
class.
71% of those with incomes above $75,000 call themselves middle class.
(National Center for Opinion Research, 2000)
Percentage of American adults polled who cited lack of effort as a reason people
are poor: 43%.
Percentage who cited strong effort as a reason some people are rich: 53%.
(Gallup Poll Social Audit, 1998)
Housing
Number of American households that spend more than 50% of income on housing:
14 million.
(Habitat for Humanity, 1999)
Number of families or primary individuals who live in mobile homes or trailers:
6.8million.
(U.S. Census Bureau, American Housing Survey, 1999)
Percentage change in the number of rural Americans living in mobile homes
between 1980 and 1990: +52.
(Housing Assistance Council, Washington D.C.)
Number of U.S. households earning less than $10,000/year: 7.6 million
Number of affordable housing units available: 4.4 million.
(Low Income Housing Information Service, 1995)
Interesting fact:
In 1995, homeowners earning more than $100,000 a year received a total of $28.9
billion dollars in federal income tax deductions on mortgage interest payments. The
entire 1996 budget of the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development was
only $19 billion.
(The New Politics of Housing, Peter Dreier, Journal of the American Planning Association,
Vol. 63, No. 1, Winter 1997)
Crime
Percentage of death row inmates who could not afford to hire a lawyer: 90%.
(ACLU, 2001)
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2. How can you relate any of these statistics to the lives of students at K-State?
3. Should universities make special efforts to support students who come from different
social-class backgrounds? Why? Why not?
5
4. What is one benefit of enrolling students from lower income levels on college
campuses?
5. What student or university groups might care about students from lower income
level backgrounds?
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8. Some of these statistics are now quite dated. Using the Internet and the library databases, do some preliminary research to update these data. What changes do you see?
What patterns still hold true?
In the following article, Theron Snell directly addresses issues of social class and universities. He joins many conversations about the responsibilities that universities have
in making the American Dream possible for all. Read the article, taking notes in the
margins. Complete the comprehension multiple-choice questions and continue to think
about possible topics and audiences.
Theron P. Snell
I work as an academic adviser and adjunct instructor at a small, public, four-year
university that provides the usual spread of bachelors degree programs, as well as
several masters degrees. I have done similar work at a private liberal arts college and
at a branch campus of a large state school. I bring to this work not only a PhD in
American studies but also experience teaching English in a Colombian high school
for two years and teaching English as a second language in a language institute in
Bogota, Colombia, for a year.
At each of the U.S. institutions at which I have worked, administrators and faculty
alike have worried about and studied first-generation college students, looking at
specific academic and social challenges these students face and how best to ensure
student success. I want to look at this concern about first-generation students from
the perspective I have gained from working at a smaller, regional university and from
teaching cross-culturally. Although faculty members and administrators invoke
first-generation status to explain many of the academic problems they perceive, my
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experience suggests that social class and local social environment, particularly their
respective effects on literacy, are just as crucial indicators of success. Class, in fact,
may act as a multiplier to first-generation status.
First-Generation Students
The most common challenges attributed to first-generation students involve academic behaviors as well as student and family expectations. At my institution,
for example, faculty members confront a cross-cultural disconnect between their
expectations and student behavior, most pointedly when students miss classes or do
not complete required out-of-class assignments. These lapses are variously viewed
as a result of simple lack of interest, poor attitude, or first-generation ignorance of
how to do academic work. I think this behavior is more complex; many of these
students work too hard in their lives outside of school and are too bright for these
explanations to suffice.
After eight years at my small state university, I have become used to the social and
pedagogical impact of this behaviorwhat I call the dark side of the work ethic. The
dark side rests on the premise that education exists solely to improve work opportunities and salary. Socially, going to college is often tolerated only insofar as it provides added value to work. Pedagogically, the classes that count are those in a major
and those that can add employment value to any degree. These views lead students
to choose overtime or extra work hours over classes, even to the point of missing
quizzes or deadlines. They lead students and families to devalue the work they do
to succeed in classes. Sometimes, they lead families to designate acceptable majors
and even acceptable institutions to students. At the extreme, they lead families to
provide financial and moral support to their students only so long as the students go
into what the families think are high-paying fields.
124
Instead, the impact of class and local mores [i.e., values and beliefs] on quality of educational preparation combines with larger mass-cultural or social definitions and
valuations of education to explain student behaviors. I work at what can be called a
blue-collar regional university, which attracts students who do not or cannot go to
the flagship schools in the system. The university draws on three urban areas, one of
which has the highest unemployment rate in the state. This region has seen industrial jobs flee, leaving communities trying to attract new industrial jobs or turning
to gentrification. The people of this region see education as the ticket to economic
and social stability, despite being unwilling to leave the area to find the jobs.
In terms of income level and amount of time devoted to work outside of school, the
students at my institution are working class. Since 2003, between 49 and 53 percent of
our first-year students have been working sixteen hours a week or more. Some 22 percent of first-year students describe themselves as primary caregivers. The figures are
higher for seniors. Because only 21 percent of the student body is nontraditional in age,
these numbers say a great deal about both the financial need and focus of the students
in general. Moreover, 38 percent of the universitys full-time equivalent enrollment
received Pell Grants in 2006, again indicating the income level of the student body.
The national literacy numbers establish links among the amount of reading, the
level of competence, and the resulting ACT scores. The NEA measures literary
reading, defined as reading any poetry, fiction, or drama, even Danielle Steel or
Louis LAmour. According to NEA numbers from 2004, literary reading declined
17 percent between 1982 and 2002 for people eighteen to twenty-four years old.
Just as significantly, such reading has declined 14.4 percent for people twenty-five
125
to thirty-four years old and 10 percent over all ages. The rate of decline for traditional college-age students, though, is 55 percent greater than it is for the total adult
population. This rate implies decreasing interest in and capacity for complex reading activities.
At the same time, the numbers imply that the role of income and class overshadows the importance for literacy of being part of a first-generation cohort. While the
2004 NEA report, Reading at Risk, states that the literary reading rate correlates
more closely to educational attainment than to family income, the numbers suggest
a close connection between family income and reading rates. Only about one-third
of those from the lowest income group (families with income under $10,000) read
literature during the survey year, compared to 61 percent of those from the highest income group (families with income of $75,000 or more). The report makes the
obvious connection between low income and lower education levels and then points
out that while only 23 percent of the families had incomes of $75,000 or more, they
bought over 33 percent of the books.
Perhaps as important for educators, the NEA report also highlights the correlation
between high reading rates and likelihood of participating in volunteer or charity
work, visiting art museums, and attending performing arts and sporting events
that is, engaged readers also engage the outside world. Given the income information, therefore, it is reasonable to suggest that the lower the income and education
levels, the lower the literary reading rates and the lower the ability or inclination of
students to engage academically and socially. This is not simply a first-generation
issue; it becomes, in part, an issue of income and class. Small wonder, then, that the
recent announcement that a local school system is cutting its librarians has raised
concern among educators here.
This lack of inclination and ability among lower-income students is reflected in the
National Assessment of Adult Literacy, sponsored by the U.S. Department of Educations National Center for Education Statistics. NAAL divides literacy achievement
into four levels: below basic (from being nonliterate to being able to locate easily
identifiable information in short, basic sentences), basic (able to read and understand information in short, commonplace prose texts), intermediate (able to understand moderately dense, less commonplace prose texts, as well as to summarize,
make simple inferences, determine cause and effect, and recognize an authors purpose), and proficient (able to read lengthy, complex texts; synthesize information;
and make complex inferences). Clearly, university work requires proficient readers.
Yet, in the 2006 NAAL, only 12 percent of people nineteen to twenty-four years
old tested proficient, with 48 percent testing intermediate. NAAL also noted that
the reading level of college graduates dropped from a 40 percent proficiency rate in
1992 to a 31 percent proficiency rate in 2003. Reading proficiency declined as literary reading rates declined. At the same time, NAAL statistics show that in 2005,
53.5 percent of low-income high school graduates (defined as those with the bottom fifth of family incomes) entered college, while 65.1 percent of middle-income
graduates (middle 60 percent of family incomes) and 81.2 percent of high-income
graduates (top fifth of family incomes) entered college. And this does not take into
account how many low-income students did not complete high school, suggesting
126
that family income affects learning outcomes more strongly than college performance figures suggests. Both NAAL and NEA numbers indicate that the higher the
income, the more likely people are proficient readers. But at the same time, contact
with college graduates does not guarantee proficient reading.
Both ACT and NAAL suggest that nearly half of students entering college fail to
meet the intermediate or proficient reading level necessary to have a better-thanaverage statistical chance of being successful in their college courses. Taken together
with the NEA report, these reports indicate that literacy is not an across-the-board
value. And these numbers become more pronounced among students with lower
levels of income and education. Students coming from households where no one
reads can be expected to be at a disadvantage. This is in part a class issue.
Student Expectations
Looking again at my institution, recall how many of the students work and how
many are caregivers. About 80 percent of the students commute. In 2006, 62 percent of the incoming students placed into a remedial reading course and 42 percent
placed into a remedial composition course.
Literacy rates, reading proficiency, and test scores together affect how our students
see their role at the university and what they expect from faculty and courses. More
and more students arrive at my institution with little facility with exactly the kind
of intellectual processing needed to succeed. This connection between our local
numbers and more general literacy numbers clearly involves income and class levels,
with income level acting not as cause but as multiplier of student expectations. The
lower the income, the more apt students are to be dualistic learners, reading for data
alone and looking for correct answers in the classroom. That the trend to dualistic
learning cuts across college graduates as well as across all income groups only reinforces how income level multiplies that tendency.
Finally, the literacy processes our students bring to this institution, as well as general
academic behaviors, the majors being chosen, and the process by which students
choose their majors, are all shaped by income, class, and education level. Firstgene
ration students are only part of the cohorts being affected. Our students react to
economic factors, parental interests, and received wisdom about which majors are
moneymakers and which ones give the fastest access to the job market. Furthermore,
reading discrepancies indicate a cross-cultural gap between faculty, who generally
read literature for pleasure, and their students, who read less and less and generally
do not read literature for pleasure. This gap implies that students lack exactly the
intellectual practice and involvement that faculty require and expect for academic
success. The students have neither the reading background nor practice in engaging
the world of ideas. All of the issues highlighted in the national data, therefore, come
together at once, and literacy proves to be a better marker for academic success than
does having a college graduate in ones family. j
127
j Comprehension Questions
1. Who is Snells primary audience?
a. Rich and elite students
b. American taxpayers
c. University professors
d. Working-class students
2. What misconception of his audience is Snell trying to dispel?
a. Students identification as first generation is the primary reason why they present academic challenges.
b. Students all come from the middle class.
c. Students are not performing as well academically as they once did.
d. Male students are outperforming female students.
3. What best describes Snells main thesis?
a. Wealthy students possess an unearned privilege that makes them more successful academically.
b. Professors need to improve the literacy of students.
c. Universities and colleges should not accept working-class students.
d. Social class is the variable that influences and magnifies the academic issues that
first-generation students face.
4. What is the relationship between work and college life that Snell describes?
a. Working-class students should not be allowed to work when they are in college.
b. Students and their families emphasis upon finding high-paying careers may
cause academic problems.
c. Working-class students choose majors with few career prospects.
d. Work actually enhances students academic ability.
5. What is the relationship between literacy and social class that Snell describes?
a. Wealthier students read less because of access to computer technology.
b. Students literature reading rates have been consistent over the past 25 years.
c. Students family income has no correlation to their academic performance.
d. Students from poorer families have academic values and abilities that may place
them at a disadvantage when they enter the university.
128
After having read and discussed this research article, what additional areas of social class
and university life could you explore? You may want to begin by doing some preliminary
research on these following keywords.
at-risk students
first-generation students
Pell Grants
class divide
income inequality
single-parent students
class inequality
socioeconomic diversity
class mobility
meritocracy
elite colleges
non-traditional students
What additional research questions or issues related to social class and university life can
you come up with?
Possible Topics
Challenges faced by men in majors where women are the majority or by women in
majors where men are the majority.
How stereotypes of a particular ethnic group of students impact that groups success
at the university.
How social expectations about gender affect men and women at the Rec. Center.
Students with disabilities (in terms of their access to classrooms and accessible dorm
rooms).
Minority religious groups and promotion of inter-religious understanding.
Treatment of gay, lesbian, or bisexual students by fellow students and campus
administrators.
129
Remember that you will be writing to a specific audience other than your instructor and
classmates. You may choose any campus organization to write to, but might find it easiest to choose an organization that you are already familiar with because you are a member or have participated in that groups activities. Consider the student groups that you
belong to, the residence hall you live in, and the academic departments you take classes
in as potential audiences. You can find a list of campus organizations on K-States website
or in the campus phone directory.
When you are researching and writing for this audience, make sure that you can find a way
to connect your audience to your topic and research questions. Obviously, if your audience already knows everything about your topic and can already answer your research
questions, then your report will not be useful for them. Try to figure out what they
already know about the topic or if they have a misconception about it. Also, think about
how the topic is significant to your audience. These three following thinking frames
can help you begin thinking about how your topic is significant for your audience:
My audience knows little about my topic, but it is important to them because
My audience has a misconception about my topic, but I can show them that
My audience does not see how my topic relates to them, but I can show them how it
does
One of the most important parts of writing to a specific audience is determining the
needs of the audience before you plan what you will write. Knowing about your audience
helps you understand what kind of information will be most valuable to them. It also
helps you to determine the tone and style of writing you will use. The questions in the
audience analysis activity on the next page will help you to learn more about your audience before you begin writing.
130
2. What kind of activities does the group participate in or sponsor? What is the goal
of these activities? Who attends these activities (e.g., members of the group, only
people associated with the university, the public)?
3. Who are the members of this group? Are they primarily of one age, one gender, one
race or ethnicity, or one socioeconomic class? Describe them in as much detail as
you can.
5
4. Does this group currently address any issues related to communities and identities?
What are these issues and how do they address them (e.g., sponsoring lectures or
events, discussions at meetings, promoting policy changes at the university)?
5. How might this organization be interested in your research questions? Why do you
think the group might be interested in these issues? Give specific reasons based on
what youve learned about this group.
131
Psychological
Perspectives
The Internet
Laws and
Court Rulings
Relationship to
Violent Acts
Hate
Speech
Relationship to
Free Speech
Statistics
Free Speech
Zones
What Groups
Are Targeted the
Most and Why
College
Campuses
Campus
Newspapers
132
Anti-Abortion
Display at
KState
Public
Kyle then selected one of the subtopics from his diagram, free speech on college campuses, to focus on. He made a more focused cluster to brainstorm details about this topic.
Kyles Focused Diagram
Rate My
Professor
Sidewalk
Chalkings?
The Internet
Free
Speech
on College
Campuses
Reasons
Against
Censoring
Censorship
Reasons
to Censor
K-State
Union
Plaza
Anti-Abortion
Display
K-States
Policy
Definitions
Free Speech
Zones
Religious
Speakers
Now that Kyle has made a more focused cluster, he can combine it with what he knows
about his audience to decide what specific area he will focus on in his research. Even if
he has trouble finding information about that specific area, Kyle will be able to easily
choose another research area by returning to his cluster diagram. Before you begin your
research, your teacher may ask that you make a cluster diagram. You can use the models
above to help you get started.
Group Invention
Another way to help narrow your topic is to find out what other students want to know
about the issue. Since you will be writing to a campus audience, your classmates can be
good sources of information as you decide what specific area your report will cover. On
the next page is an activity designed to help you find out what other students already
know and would like to know about your topic. You can then use this group invention
activity to add to your cluster diagram.
133
134
ACTIVITY
Writer
Date
Reader
Potential Audience
Fill in the top of this sheet with your name and topic information. Then pass the sheet
around the classroom. Try to list at least one thing you know and one thing youd like to
know about each of your classmates topics as the sheets are passed around the room.
5
5
5
5
135
Activity
Answer the questions below to test the feasibility of your research question.
1. Are you interested in this question?
2. Will your audience be interested in this question? Why?
3. Is the question significant for the audience?
4. Is the question limited enough for a paper of 35 pages?
5. Is there a reasonable possibility of finding information about this topic in the time
you have available? What might be some good sources of information to answer this
question?
136
Topics
Questions
University Recruitment
and Retention
W
hat programs and scholarships are
available for needy students?
W hat are the programs available to help
retain these students?
Does K-State have a socioeconomic diversity
policy?
Health
A
re there additional health benefits for
students who cannot supplement their health
care?
Do students from poorer backgrounds have
different types of health risks?
W hat types of stress, depression, or other
types of emotional illnesses might these
at-risk students have?
K-State Classes
W
hat courses at K-State reflect the history of
the working class in the United States?
A re there sociology courses or other
programs that talk about the issues and
concerns that touch upon the lives of the
poor or the near poor?
Career Planning
H
ow are the professional and career needs
different for first-generation students?
Non-traditional Students
and/or Students as Primary
Child Caregivers
W
hat university policies are in place to help
support single-parent students?
How available and how affordable is daycare
for students?
How do nontraditional students interact with
traditional students?
How academically successful are
nontraditional students, especially those who
work a great deal?
Audience(s)
137
138
The library is not only filled with journals, newspapers, books, dissertations, surveys, and reports, but also with knowledgeable, helpful people anxious to assist you
with all of your research needs. Dont be intimidated! Ask for help!
What are the Big 5 criteria for evaluating sources?
Authority
139
140
Explore Search Terms (Keywords) for your topic. Because different authors will use different terms to describe the same concept, it is useful to have alternate terms on hand. If
your first search does not work, or you want different perspectives, try different search
terms. Discover new search terms in the sources you have already read. Some databases
(e.g., ProQuest) will suggest alternate search terms. Identify some possible search terms
here:
2. LexisNexis Academic
(Excellent source for researching current news. Full-text.)
Go to the Libraries home page: http://www.lib.k-state.edu
Click on Databases, click on L, and then click on LexisNexis Academic.
In the space below, write down titles of articles and newspaper titles of sources you
find in LexisNexis Academic.
5
3. ProQuest Research Library
(Includes articles from magazines, journals, and some newspapers.)
Go to the Libraries home page: http://www.lib.k-state.edu
Click on Databases and then click on ProQuest Research Library.
In the space below, take notes on new concepts or search terms, people of interest, or
other information pertinent to your research.
141
142
The White House-sponsored dialogue on race has been a flop up to now in large part because
too many people, black and white, dont know what theyre talking about.
That includes the media, especially in our treatment of affirmative action. We have created the
impression that without preferences blacks would be shut out of the higher education system.
And we have created the corollary impression that minority preferences are rampant, imperiling the educational future of far too many whites. But in all of the uproar and despite countless words written and broadcast on the issue, the information offered the public on affirmative
action is limited. How many people are affected? Who benefits? Who is hurt?
The truth is that with or without affirmative action almost any high school graduate who can
read, write and do the multiplication tablesand a lot who can do none of those things well
can go to college today. Its a buyers market. Schools bid against one another for students, using
financial incentives and other inducements. Many institutions admit almost everyone who applies. Others, including such well-regarded schools as Michigan, Tulane, Wisconsin, Auburn,
Ohio State, Purdue and American University in Washington, admit 70 percent to 90 percent
of applicants.
Of course, its a lot easier to get into college than to stay there. Only 45 percent of the students
who graduated from high school in 1982 and earned at least 10 college credits had received a
bachelors degree by the time they were 30 years old. Dropout rates at many institutions are
70 percent to 90 percent. At Fisk University in Nashville, for years one of the most prestigious
of the historically black colleges, the graduation rate is 2 percent, according to U.S. News and
World Report. These dropout rates tell us that tens of thousands of students not cut out for college work are being drawn into the higher education system.
Such statistics are rarely or inadequately reported. The press instead focuses on affirmative action problems at highly selective schools such as Harvard and Yale. And even in our obsessive scrutiny of matters involving those celebrated citadels of learning, the reporting is often
murky and misleading. In part that is because of the failure of the U.S. Department of Education and other government agencies to publish the kind of information that would clarify the
issues. Some colleges and universities involved in affirmative action controversies also complicate the problem by withholding information, for example, on the nature of preferential
admissions.
The Journal of Blacks in Higher Education, however, has been able to assemble much of the
relevant information. So have some academicians. We learn from the journal that 292,855 students applied to the 24 most prestigious universities in America for admission to the freshman
class of 1996. About 5 percent of these applicants13,801were black. The schools offered
admission to 96,369 students (33 percent of all the students who applied). They offered admission to 35 percent of the black applicants.
Harwood blames
blacks and whites for
problems.
**Thesis**
corollary: proposition
that follows from
another
According to
Harwood, its easy to
get into college if you
can do the basics.
143
The members of the Multicultural Business Student Association (MBSA) know that affirmative action has been a controversial topic, but this memo will discuss why some groups have
criticized it. Understanding why affirmative action is criticized is important to members of
MBSA, because in their future careers they will encounter employees and colleagues who
are both for and against affirmative action.
Many people in my audience have a misconception about X, but I can help to change
their misconception.
Many members of the College of Agriculture Ambassadors believe that minority students
just arent interested in careers in agriculture, but my research shows that many minority
students have misconceptions about what types of majors and careers are possible. Its
important that the Agriculture Ambassadors understand how to change these misconceptions so they can attract students to the field of agriculture.
Many people in my audience dont see that X relates to them, but I can show how it
does relate to their needs.
Many Pre-Nursing Club members dont see the value of learning a foreign language, but
this memo will explain how useful knowing a foreign language, especially Spanish, can be
to their careers.
144
Purpose Statement:
Blueprint Statement:
145
To:
Cc:
From:
Annie Bachman
Date:
Introduction
After experiencing my first collegiate homecoming week, a major thing I noticed was the absence of the multicultural Greek organizations in the mix of activities. I find this lack of participation opposite of what K-State strives fordiversity. I have done some research to find out
who or what this deficit can be attributed to: communication barriers, event conflicts, and a
lack of inclusion of Multicultural Greeks.
Communication Barriers
In my research, I focused most on the fraternities and sororities that are members of the
National Pan-Hellenic Council (NPHC) and the National Association of Latino Fraternal
Organizations (NALFO) on campus. I sent an email to chapter presidents but got little response until Amanda Ebert, the president of Sigma Lambda Gamma, provided an informative response to my questions. Along with the insight she provided, her response also
implied that the issue in question was an even more sensitive subject than I had thought.
She said she would be surprised if [I] got any response to this email [because] it is worded
poorly and comes off as complete ignorance (Ebert). I reread my first email, and didnt
find anything terribly offensive, but I got the feeling that events in the past gave me an ignorant predisposition in her eyes. Since she and her sorority sisters are a minority group,
she probably deals with a lot of ignorance and prejudice from others, which immediately made her doubt my motives for contacting her. She also probably read into my word
choice and phrases, making me sound ignorant, despite what I actually said in the email.
However, I sent an apology email asking again for more feedback, but to no avail; I only
received one more response from Sigma Lambda Beta, the Latino fraternity. So I decided
to narrow my focus to the Gammas and their involvement in the Greek system.
plagiarism, you must know how to quote, paraphrase, and summarize while acknowledging that you are doing so. You also must be able to construct a works cited page.
Quoting and Paraphrasing
According to Technical Communication, 7th ed. by Mike Markel, you should always
document:
Quotations from a written source or interview, no matter the length.
Ideas, opinions, or concepts that you have gathered from your research.
Graphics from written or electronic sources.3
If you are unsure as to whether documentation is needed for a particular piece of information, document that source. Doing so will avoid any unintentional plagiarism. The
MLA documentation system (and most others) requires you to document your sources
with both parenthetical references in the text and a full citation on the works cited page.
In general, observe the guidelines below for quoting and paraphrasing.
When quoting be sure to
Copy the quote exactly as written. If you must make changes to the tense or capitalization to fit your text, enclose your modifications in square brackets [ ].
Use an ellipsis () to indicate any words youve left out of a quoted passage.
When paraphrasing be sure to
Read the source carefully to make sure you clearly understand the authors meaning.
Put the source aside and, in your own words, write a paraphrase of the passage.
Check the original source against your paraphrase to make sure you have maintained
the sources meaning but have not used the original phrasing.
Change both the wording and the sentence structure.
One common problem students have when paraphrasing is borrowing too much of the
original sources phrasing, resulting in text that is not an exact quotation but is not truly a
paraphrase. This problem is often called mosaic plagiarism because it is as if the student
has created a mosaic of her/his own words and the original. Below are examples of an
original source and one students mosaic plagiarism of that source.
The Source
The truth is that with or without affirmative action almost any high school graduate
who can read, write and do the multiplication tablesand a lot who can do none of
those things wellcan go to college today. Its a buyers market. Schools bid against one
another for students, using financial incentives and other inducements. Many institutions admit almost everyone who applies. Others, including such well-regarded schools
as Michigan, Tulane, Wisconsin, Auburn, Ohio State, Purdue, and American University
in Washington, admit 70 percent to 90 percent of applicants.
Harwood, Richard. Debating Without Facts. The Washington Post. 12 Jan. 1998: A17.
From Mark Markel Technical Communication 7th ed. Boston: Bedford/St. Martins, 2004, 8283.
147
Mosaic Plagiarism
Whether affirmative action exists or not almost any high school graduate who can read,
write, and do basic mathand some of those who cantcan get into college these days.
Its a buyers market. Schools use financial incentives to bid against each other for students, and many universities admit most everyone who applies (Harwood A17).
Student As Text
Crowe especially focuses on the theoretical aspects of how the economy interacts with
nursing. According to Crowe, when emotional work is brought into the public marketplace it acts like a commodity with a demand and exchange value determined by market
forces. Emotions, therefore, become public acts which can be bought, sold, and controlled through education and training (965).
1. Would you classify this as plagiarism? Why or why not?
2. What can Student A do to improve this citation?
Student Bs Text
An application of a Marxist perspective to nursing tracks how capitalismespecially the
dynamics of the marketplaceaffects the roles of nurses and even displaces them from
their own emotions. Like the skills of other workers, capitalism deems the private, personal emotions as public acts which can be bought and sold. These emotions, according
to Hochschild, become removed from the private to the public domain where they are
processed, standardized and subjected to hierarchical control (147).
1. Would you classify this as plagiarism? Why or why not?
2. What can Student B do to ensure that this use of a source would not be classified as
academic misconduct?
148
149
Mission Statement. Michigan Civil Rights Initiative. Michigan Civil Rights Initiative.
2004. Web. 6 May 2004.
6. A Section of a Web page with an Author
Authors last name, Authors first name. Name of Section. Name of website. Date of
resource creation. Name of sponsor or publisher. Medium of publication. Date
of access.
Schwartz, Howard. Scholars Association Backs Michigan Civil Rights Initiative.
Michigan Civil Rights Initiative. Michigan Civil Rights Initiative. 23 Jan. 2004.
Web. 19 Sept. 2004.
7. A Magazine Article
Authors last name, Authors first name. Title of Article. Title of Magazine Day
month year: pages. Medium of publication.
Will, George F. Disorder in the Schools: Too Many College Students Have Neither
the Aptitudes Nor the Attitudes Needed in College. Newsweek 13 Apr. 1998: 84.
Print.
8. A Newspaper Article
Authors last name, Authors first name. Title of Article. Title of Newspaper Day
month year: pages. Medium of publication.
Harwood, Richard. Debating Without Facts. The Washington Post 12 Jan. 1998: A17.
Print.
150
151
Currently, providing adequate bilingual education is a major issue in the state of Kansas. Ac-
cording to Susan Donnelly, program manager of Project Care, a program related to English as a
Second Language (ESL) education in Kansas, between 1994 and 2004, ESL enrollment experienced a 325 percent increase (qtd. in Rubick). As a state university, K-State is responsible for educating students to be bilingual educators. My goal in this memo is to inform the K-State College of
Education on related programs used here and at other universities that promote the development
of more bilingual educators.
First, I would like to look at how K-State has previously addressed the issue of providing ade-
quate bilingual education through the Bilingual Education Students Interacting to Obtain Success
Sarah introduces this
source and shows it is
credible by using an
attributive tag.
(BESITOS) program. The program, according to an article in Ovations, the Kansas State University Foundations Newsletter, is the result of a federal grant awarded in 2000 to enhance the number of bilingual educators (Montgomery). BESITOS gave scholarships to 32 bilingual students so
that they could pursue a degree in bilingual education at K-State (Montgomery). By supporting
students who might not otherwise have been able to attend the university, K-State was able to provide 32 well-qualified bilingual educators to the state of Kansas. K-State could extend the reach of
this program by attempting to gain even more funding, enabling more students to get involved.
Next, I would like to look at Texas A&M UniversityKingsville. The university is home to the
nations first doctoral program in bilingual education (Garza). Texas A&MKingsville is certainly
doing a great deal to provide bilingual educators for the state of Texas. By having such an extensive
program of study dedicated to bilingual education, they are educating people on the issues surrounding bilingual education and garnering interest in this area. According to Emma Garza, a former student of the program who is now an instructor, bilingual students can only succeed when
supported by colleges through their education of bilingual educators (qtd. in Garza). Through the
effort to garner this interest, many students are excited to study bilingual education, and Texas
A&MKingsville is able to develop many bilingual educators.
152
Now that we have looked at two bilingual education programs, I want to look at a program
that is used to get university students involved in bilingual education. At Northern Illinois University, education majors spend time in area schools through a program called Reaching Out
Through Art and Reading (ROAR) (Student Tutors). ROAR helps bilingual elementary students
learn English (Student Tutors). As a part of the program, students plan a lesson for each week
that involves reading a story and working on English vocabulary with a game or art project (Student Tutors). A program such as this can get students involved in the bilingual education process
and get them interested in pursuing bilingual education as a career. The founder of the program,
Chris Carger, expresses that the aim of the program is to give students a chance to work with this
type of children and get hands-on experience in bilingual education (Student Tutors).
After looking at the two programs used at Texas A&M UniversityKingsville and at Northern
Illinois University, I would like to address the possibility of applying them here at K-State. In an
email to me, Dean Michael Holen stated that Kansas consists of areas where the school population has up to seventy percent bilingual students. This alone demonstrates the need for more education of bilingual educators. Areas of Texas had high demand for bilingual educators and were
able to meet that demand because of the doctoral program at A&MKingsville (Garza). It would
take a lot of work and money to implement such a program at K-State, but it may be the solution
Here a parenthetical
citation is not needed
because Sarah has
used an attributive tag
that includes the name
of the author.
Kansas is looking for. Though, if perhaps this seems too drastic, there is the alternative practiced
by Northern Illinois University. Requiring far less money and perhaps less effort than researching and implementing the doctoral program, the founding of a program like ROAR could also be
useful in promoting study of bilingual education. Because of the hands-on aspect of the program,
students get a first-hand experience in working with students whose first language is not English
(Student Tutors). Implementing such a program in Manhattan could inspire education students
to study bilingual education or at least a foreign language so that they may better be able to help
bilingual populations in Kansas.
In this parenthetical
citation after a direct
quote, Sarah doesnt
put a page number
because the source is
an electronic one.
Across the nation, schools are struggling to provide quality education for bilingual students.
Schools in Kansas are certainly facing this problem. Through this report, I hope I have informed
the College of Education of programs used in various parts of the nation to improve the quality of
bilingual education and to provide more bilingual educators. As a public state institution, K-State
will need to strive to address the problems Kansas faces in bilingual education.
Works Cited
Garza, Adriana. A&MK Made Bilingual Education Mark. Corpus Christi Caller-Times 27 Feb.
2006: B2. LexisNexis Academic. Web. 14 Mar. 2006.
Holen, Michael. Re: Making Diversity Programs on Campus Work. E-mail to author.
6 Mar. 2006.
Because this source doesnt have an author, Sarah lists it by its title. Since the first word of the
title is the, she uses the second word when alphabetizing.
153
154
Workshop guide
Writer
Date
Reader
Informative Report
This activity is designed to give you practice responding to specific features of this assignment. Your essay will pass through several stages of readers, who will comment on one
specific part or aspect of your paper.
jDirections
Tear this sheet out of your book and pass it, along with your informative report, to your
partner on your left. Your instructor will call out when you need to pass the report again.
You will need to go fast. For responses that require a 1 through 5 ranking, 1 is the lowest
and 5 represents the highest score.
Reader #1: Name _________________________________________
Test the introduction. After reading the introduction, circle the writers main claim
regarding the diversity issue. If you cant find the claim, try to figure out what it will be and
write it down in the margin.
What is the connection of the audience to the topic? Why would they care about it?
How well does the writer forecast what will happen in the body of the informative report?
1 2 3 4 5
What else can the writer do in the introduction?
155
Test the first body paragraph. Skim the introduction to get the gist of the report, and
then carefully read the first main body paragraph. Circle the main point or topic sentence
(the exposition). Put brackets around the examples the writer uses.
What does the writer say about the relevancy of the information to the audience?
Test the focus and organization. Quickly read the remaining body paragraphs.
How well does each paragraph explain how the sources connect to the main point of the
report?
Place an X in places where you get lost or confused about what the writer is trying to
say.
Underline the transitional words that you find. What additional transitions are needed?
156
Test the MLA style and tone. Examine the body of the report for how the writer introduces facts and quotes (attributive tags).
How well does the writer introduce quotes or paraphrases? Are additional attributive
tags necessary? Make notes in the margins where more attributive tags are needed.
1 2 3 4 5
Write CITATION? in places where you think the writer needs to include parenthetical
information about the source.
Write TONE? in the places where you think the writer is no longer providing a balanced account of the issue, but instead is arguing for one side of the issue over another.
j Debriefing Discussion
When you get your report back, discuss your report with your classmates, focusing first
on its strengths and then on areas with which they had problems. Make sure that you
look for Xs (organization confusion), CITATION? (MLA citation problem), and
TONE? (tone problem).
As you revise, use your classmates comments as well as additional points that came up
in the debriefing discussion. Finally, before you print out your report, check your works
cited page to make sure it follows MLA style. Have you
Capitalized the titles of articles and books, and the names of websites?
Placed citations in alphabetical order according to the first word in the citation?
Italicized titles of books and websites?
Used MLA abbreviation and date styles (for example, 27 Feb. 2005)?
Included your access dates for websites?
Included database information?
Double-spaced your works cited page and indented inch after the first line of each
entry?
Additionally, make sure that each parenthetical citation in your report also appears in the
works cited. Make sure that everything that appears in the works cited list is also used in
the paper itself.
157
Notes:
158
RUBRIC
Writer
Date
Informative Report
When handing in your report, make sure to include:
A printout or copy of all your sources. Be sure to highlight or bracket the parts of the
sources you paraphrase or quote from.
Rough drafts with workshop comments.
All notes and applicable assignments.
Additionally, remember to:
Follow report format.
Include your last name and page number on the second and all following pages.
Use 12-point font.
Criteria
The topic has been narrowed to a manageable and
researchable issue. (focus and purpose)
A university audience has been identified; the
context for why this audience would be interested
in the issue has been provided. (focus and
purpose)
Unacceptable
(No Pass)
Acceptable
(Low Pass)
Average/
Above Average
(Pass)
Excellent
(High Pass)
Notes:
160
Recently I have done some research regarding our campus policy of free speech.
The courtyard behind the Student Union building, known as the Student Union
Plaza, is known to students as a free speech zone. Many students, as well as myself,
have observed this ordinance in full effect. During the time period when the ProLife activists were visiting the campus last fall, they erected several message boards
in the Student Union Plaza on which students were encouraged to write whatever
they wanted. Some students greatly appreciated the opportunity to voice their otherwise unconstitutional opinions; that is, under normal circumstances they would
not be allowed to write certain things. Yet some were greatly offended by comments
that were made on those message boards. Other students and I often wonder if such
limitless speech is actually constitutionally allowable, and if so, how it is beneficial
to the student body? I feel that you, Dr. Bosco, are a powerful speaker, and possess
the authority and ability to clarify the true meaning of free speech, and its relevance
to campus life and activities. I took the liberty of doing some research regarding the
matter. I hope that this report and the research it contains, along with your knowledge and experience, will aid you in your job as Dean of Student Life. Perhaps with
this information you can answer the questions that many students here are asking
at K-State today. What is free speech? When is speech protected and when is it not?
Why is it necessary for speech to be limited in the first place? These are a few of
the things many students are asking. It is my hope that you can shed some light
on the matter and improve the bonds between students of all different beliefs and
backgrounds.
During my search for information regarding free speech, I found several articles that
pertained to this topic and the college environment. The first is an article regarding
free speech at Wisconsin University. The second is a speech at the commencement
of Eastern Illinois University. It focuses on the restraints in our rights that make us
truly free. The third is an article taken from a popular journal written about censorship. A fourth article, published by the Journal of Communication, covers the topic
of hate speech and its consequences. With these sources one can see both sides
of the spectrum and hopefully make accurate judgments on what actions should
betaken.
161
Free speech has always been a topic of interest on the college campus. The forming of opinions is inevitable and the voicing of those opinions is only natural. Since
some words are considered hate speech for certain reasons, they are deemed inappropriate and unconstitutional. The United States Constitution clearly states that
hate speech is not protected in the first amendment. Hate speech, therefore, is not
free speech. These days, however, it is becoming more and more popular to believe
that speech should not be censored, especially among college students. In Max Skidmores article Censorship: Who Needs It? he explains how censorship is not necessary and often is ineffective since truth has a habit of finding its way into the light
anyway. Skidmore states, The free flow of information depends upon much more
than the mere absence of overt censorship, governmental or otherwise. This concept of free speech is most commonly found in the world of art and literature. The
problem is the lack of definition in the law. If free speech is limited in the areas such
as hate speech, which is by definition offensive, then should art and literature that
could also be found offensive be censored? Many students and administrative officers say yes. Yet it still seems unreasonable to block the creations of human talent
and inspiration. I think many students and most professors would agree.
When the University of Wisconsin was reevaluating its policy regarding free speech,
the administration agreed on a stricter stance against controversial speech. As
writer Alan Kors explains, Everything lost protection if the hearing rejected the
claim of protection and found that the behavior was commonly considered by persons of a particular gender, race, cultural background, ethnicity, sexual orientation,
or handicap to be demeaning to members of that group. For example, say a religious
group would be strongly offended by explicit sexual content that may be portrayed
in an artistic play or piece of literature. That groups offense would void that piece of
artwork the protection of the first amendment. If such forms of speech were allowed
for public viewing, many students would be offended. They feel that they have the
right to not have to see or read such things. If explicit material is displayed in a
public area then most people expect the content to be mild and appropriate. The
law over this topic is not clear and certainly not stated anywhere in or around the
courtyard.
Calvert asserts, Hateful messages cumulate an ambiance that categorizes and, consequently, causes harm. They create and maintain power structures. Hate speech
not only promotes ill feelings toward one another, but sometimes leads to violence.
Also, hate speech perpetuates the problem by causing a feeling of superiority from
the group who is using the hate speech: Hate speech promotes and fosters not only
feelings of inferiority but also facilitates unequal treatment of groups based on race,
gender, and sexual preference. If one repeatedly hears that others are inferior based
on their skin color, color soon becomes a badge of inferiority and justification for
the denial of opportunity and equal treatment (Calvert). According to this idea,
speech that is subject to offend groups has a chance of provoking violence and justifying the speech itself. When hate speech is used the victims are often viewed as
inferior simply because people belittled them with their speech. Then a general view
or stereotype is formed. This adds to the problem, and discrimination is often the
result.
162
Some students feel that free speech has never been free and should remain that
way. In Thomas Johnsons speech Those Wise Restraints Which Make Us Free, he
states that free speech has always been at the expense of other rights. This means
that certain rights must be forfeited in order to uphold others. So we then have to
choose which rights are more important to us. He goes on to say that we set boundaries in order to live our lives in a way that we see as having the most freedom.
Some of those wise restraints are compulsory, the Law of the Land. But the ones
which really matter, the ones which make us truly free, are the ones we impose
upon ourselves, ones learned without the need of any court decision or any code of
conduct to compel it (Johnson). Many students agree with Johnson when he says
that in order to have the best freedoms, some rights must yield to others; the problem is which right is more important: the right to free speech, or the protection
from explicit material? A large number of students feel that free speech is extremely
important. Without free speech, some people maintain that the true expression of
the individual, something that K-State takes pride in, would be lost. You cant censor
art, but at the same time you cannot display explicit material in a public place. Art
and literature are huge parts of our culture and cannot be sacrificed. A compromise
must be developed.
There are many sides to this particular area of discussion, further reassuring me in
my choice to write to you. I hope these arguments and their supporters will help you
make an educated decision with regards to free speech on campus. I realize that the
matter is sensitive and important to many. I trust your judgment and ability to lead. I
am looking forward to any new developments in these areas I have spoken of in this
letter. I feel that if the guidelines were more clearly stated, students would be more
apt to understand and less likely to take offense to things said, and also less likely to
create hate speech in the first place. With boundaries clearly marked, this campus
can improve on its already wonderful state. j
Works Cited
Calvert, Clay. Hate Speech and Its Harms: A Communication Theory Perspective. Journal of Communication 47.1 (1997): 419. LexisNexis Academic. Web. 14 Mar. 2006.
Johnson, Thomas. Those Wise Restraints Which Make Us FreeTo Fight Hate Speech.
Vital Speeches of the Day 67.21 (2001): 662665. OCLCFirstSearch. Web. 13 Mar.
2006.
Kors, Alan Charles. Cracking the Speech Code. Reason 31.3 (Jul. 1999): 30. OCLCFirstSearch. Web. 13 Mar. 2006.
Skidmore, Max J. Censorship: Who Needs It? How the Conventional Wisdom Restricts
Informations Free Flow. Journal of Popular Culture 35.3 (2001): 143156. OCLCFirstSearch. Web. 14 Mar. 2006.
163
Jessica Heller wrote this informative report in Phillip Hamiltons Expos I class. It appeared
in the 2008 Prairie Lights.
I became aware of this cultural barrier when I was asked the question, How many
times a week do you have a real conversation with an international student? Unfortunately, my participants answers indicated no interaction at all between themselves and international students. The interaction between an American student
and an international student often boils down to a smile or a hello as they pass
each other from one day to the next. One-on-one interaction or even mixed group
interaction is rare. The sad truth is that many minority groups feel unwelcome on
university campuses. They feel as though they are uninvited guests in a strange land
(Heggins and Jackson).
As of September 2007, there were 1,200 international students enrolled at Kansas
State. (K-State Posts). According to Eugene McCormack, the competition for foreign students has become heated and complex because they provide some of the
strongest talent universities have, and the money they spend on tuition is extremely
beneficial to each institution (A34). The desire for international students at universities is evident all around the nation. That is why making K-State a place where
international students feel welcome and connected to the community and domestic
students would be beneficial. Because you are the department that helps international students adjust to American culture and life at K-State, you could benefit from
finding new ways to help the two student groups interact.
The problem K-State faces is not that either group does not want to relate to the
other, it is that they just do not know how. Bradley Shaw, associate professor of modern languages at K-State admitted, I think that we are sometimes a little hesitant or
a little reticent when were dealing with things we dont understand or dont know
(qtd. in Campbell). The most common difficulty foreign and domestic students face
is the language barrier. Both groups fail to communicate simply because they cannot understand each other. It is natural for people to be drawn to those who they can
164
communicate with. Not only is language a problem but so are cultural differences.
International students often do not understand or feel comfortable with American
culture, so they try to find other people who are like them and can relate to them.
American students are so used to American culture, so they find it hard to remove
themselves from it and learn about another culture. Daniel Aguilar, a current K-State
student, said, The first reaction you have is to go look for the people who come from
the same background as you (qtd. in Campbell). The third barrier is intimidation.
Both groups are intimidated by the other and most often are too scared to take the
initiative to step out and try to build a relationship. Although language, cultures,
and intimidation can be barriers, there are ways to overcome them.
The three barriers and the lack of interaction between foreign and international students are problems, but there are programs and ideas to increase interaction. The
University of Missouri has a program called Email Partners. This program pairs
incoming international students with current MU students before they arrive on
campus (Email Partners). By adopting this program, the International Student
Center could provide current K-State students with the opportunity to answer foreign students questions about the university and Manhattan before they even arrive.
This would not only allow the international students to have a smoother transition,
but it would also give them a new friend before they came to K-State. It is a great way
to get K-State students involved, too. Both groups would benefit from each other and
enhance overall student interaction. This program could help reduce the cultural
barriers because the international student would gain information about K-State
and also about life in Manhattan. Intimidation could be reduced as well because a
friendship is automatically being developed.
Iowa State University is another school that has an excellent program. Their program is called International Peer Assistants (International Peer Assistants). Similar to the MU program, these peers are available to answer any academic questions
or questions about university life in general. If K-State would adopt this program,
these peers would be an excellent source for international students to learn about
activities and services at K-State. These peer assistants could be fellow international
students who have been at K-State for a while and American Students. The peer
assistants could be made up of volunteers or of students satisfying a requirement in
a multicultural class. This program could be another way to break cultural barriers.
165
communities unfortunately (qtd. in Campbell). Aguilar also believes that the disconnection is a lack of communication, but he goes on to say that both groups
international and domesticcan benefit by forming stronger connections. Shaw,
moreover, believes that learning more thoroughly about people from different backgrounds is not something Americans or International students should be afraid of.
Shaw also states that by learning about other cultures, languages, and religions, many
of those fears and concerns go away (qtd. in Campbell). Both Aguilar and Shaw recognize the problem here at K-State. While they both see the disconnection and the
fear of interaction, they also go on to explain why it is important for domestic and foreign students to build relationships and benefit from one another. K-State can begin
to break down these barriers and create a more diverse environment with your help.
K-State does offer multiple programs that are geared towards international students,
but only one is focused on uniting domestic and foreign students. This program
is called International Buddies (Programs). By making more programs available
that are geared toward both domestic and international students together, it will
increase the interest in getting involved. As a result, more interaction will develop
and friendships will be built. Finally, by emphasizing the importance and benefits of
building relationships with people of different backgrounds, it will reduce some of
that initial fear and help create more diverse interaction at K-State. j
Works Cited
About the International Student Center. International Student Center. 18 Oct. 2007.
Kansas State University. Web. 1 Apr. 2008.
Campbell, Molly. Many American, International Students Fail to Interact. Kansas State
Collegian 13 Mar. 2008: 1. Print.
Email Partners. International Center. 30 Nov. 2005. University of Missouri. Web. 27 Mar.
2008.
Heggins, Willie J., and Jerlando F.L. Jackson. Understanding the College Experience for
Asian International Students at a Midwestern Research University. College Student
Journal 37.3 (2003): 397. Expanded Academic ASAP. Web. 16 Mar. 2008.
International Peer Assistants. International Students and Scholars. 29 Aug. 2007. Iowa
State University. Web. 27 Mar. 2008.
K-State Posts Record Enrollment Totals. Media Relations. 20 Sept. 2007. Kansas State
University. Web. 2 Apr. 2008.
McCormack, Eugene. Worldwide Competition for International Students Heats Up.
The Chronicle of Higher Education 16 Nov. 2007: A34. ProQuest. Web. 24 Mar. 2008.
Programs. International Student Center. 25 Jan. 2008. Kansas State University. Web. 1
Apr. 2008.
166
Marlena Birkel wrote this informative report in Melissa Wanklyns Expos I class.
Shelters
Shelters are not always the safe havens they are meant to be. There are disproportional percentages of gays on the streets and in homeless shelters. Approximately
20 to 40 percent of homeless people identify as homosexual or transgender whereas
only 510 percent of the entire population is homosexual (Crary 1). As mentioned
earlier, this huge number stems from youth being thrown out of parents homes.
Homeless shelters do their best to serve those in need, but many shelters are prejudiced against LGBT. This is partially because most of the shelters in the United
States are religiously affiliated, so if an organizations core belief is that homosexuality is wrong, that organization (and its committed leaders and volunteers) may
167
not respect a clients sexual orientation or gender identity and may expose LGBT
youth to discriminatory treatment (Ray 5). In shelters, youth are bullied because
of their sexuality, but staff will not intervene because of their own prejudices. One
account of bullying is told in a New York Times article about a homosexual man who
was beaten nearly unconscious in a shelter by four men as the staff did nothing to
intervene but only closed the doors (Urbina 1). Parents should be aware of the false
sense of security provided by shelters to LGBT youth.
Another problem is the lack of government intervention, especially at the federal
level. According to one source, There are currently no federal programs specifically
designed to meet the needs of gay and transgender homeless youth, and there are
no federal protections, and few state laws, in place to keep these youth from being
discriminated against while accessing federally funded homeless services (Boldt
3). One of the reasons this is possible is because the government does not want to
regulate religious charities as confirmed by an internal Salvation Army document
obtained by the Washington Post in 2001 that stated the White House had made a
firm commitment to issue a regulation protecting religious charities from state and
city efforts to prevent discrimination against gays in hiring and providing benefits
(Ray 5). Because of this tacit government discrimination, there are no consequences
for shelters that allow these violent acts to occur or for refusal of care. Having shelters discriminate against LGBT leads the group away from help and forces them to
be more independent.
Education Attainment
Since life on the street requires so much effort, not all homeless youth will finish
high school. The majority of homeless youth are enrolled in school as supported by
the U.S. Department of Education Archive, which states, Approximately 87 percent of school-age homeless children and youth are enrolled in school, although only
about 77 percent attend school regularly (Education 1). This is an impressive statistic considering school is most likely not a first priority to food, safety and shelter.
Although these youth have the desire to attend school, a high-school diploma is a far
reach for the homeless because of other stressors, which become significant distractions. In addition to stress and discrimination-related challenges on the street, many
LGBT youth also face these challenges in school. Peers will harass LGBTs in school,
making it unpleasant to attend, even if LGBT homeless students value education.
Homeless gay young people are much less likely to complete a high school education,
or for that matter, go to college. With a high-school diploma being such a challenge
to obtain and a college degree nearly impossible, it is incredibly unlikely for a homeless youth to find a comfortable, successful career. Parents should be aware of the
unlikelihood of financial success for children kicked out of the house.
Mental Health
Because of stress, homeless LGBT youth are at a much higher risk of mental illness. The homosexual homeless have even higher rates of depression than heterosexual homeless. In fact, Ian Urbina states that in an eight-city study published in
The Child Welfare Journal last year, [it was] found that gay homeless youths were
more than twice as likely to have attempted suicide while living on the streets than
heterosexual homeless youths (1). Discrimination and violence contribute to this
168
Conclusion
A life on the street will only bring more challenges, danger, and sadness to lesbian,
gay, bisexual, and transgender youth if forced onto the streets. Life for young LGBT
people will be difficult enough with a home and a loving family because of societal
discrimination. As much as a parent may disapprove or be disappointed by their
childs sexual orientation, they should remember that no one deserves to be put at
risk for further discrimination, mental health issues, substance abuse, or prostitution. Because of this, parents of gay adolescents should be aware of the lifestyle
waiting for their children on the streets if they decide to kick their children out of
thehouse. j
169
Works Cited
Boldt, Blake. Street Smarts: How and Where Homeless GLBT Youth Find Support.
Out & About Newspaper 1 July 2010. ProQuest. Web. 26 Oct. 2010.
Crary, David. More Help Urged for Homeless Gay Youth. Associated Press Online
Jan. 30, 2007: 1. LexisNexis. Web. 28 Oct. 2010.
Education for Homeless Children and Youth Program: Learning to Succeed. Planning and Evaluation Service, 2002. Web. Oct. 28, 2010.
Ray, Nicholas. Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Youth: An Epidemic of
Homelessness. National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, 2006. Web. 28 Oct. 2010.
Urbina, Ian. Gay Youths Find Place to Call Home in Specialty Shelters. New York
Times 17 May 2007. ProQuest. Web. 26 Oct. 2010.
Whitbeck, Les P., et al. Mental Disorder, Subsistence Strategies, and Victimization
Among Gay, Lesbian, and Bisexual Homeless and Runaway Adolescents. The
Journal of Sex Research 41.4 (2004): 329342. ProQuest. Web. 31 Oct. 2010.
Brandi Worster wrote this informative report in Crystal Bandels Expos I class.
To:
From:
Date:
Subject:
CosmoGirl Editors
Brandi Worster
April 1, 2011
The Need for Informing Female Teenagers about Indoor Tanning
American culture is becoming more materialistic and that is not a bad thing unless
it is causing individuals to partake in dangerous habits. Social standards are pressuring many female teenagers to strive for perfection and beauty. One of the ideal
characteristics representing beauty is being tan. This pressure to be tan is causing
some female teenagers to have an urge they just cannot resist. They are stepping into
tanning beds every day hoping to obtain that perfect deep golden tan. It is becoming
an addictive habit, and the more one tans, the more dangerous it becomes. These
dangers are either unknown or ignored entirely. This is partly due to the lack of
information being sent their way.
It is very common for the CosmoGirl magazine to have expos columns or articles
that address topics that relate to teenagers. Some of the articles have to do with
ways to stay healthy or achieve a certain look, especially in the special prom addition. However, they have yet to publish articles about indoor tanning like Seventeen
magazine has. Since your magazine is seen as a guide for the teenage life, you would
be a great source to inform female teenagers about why their age group is pressured
to tan, what the dangers of tanning are, and what potential alternatives could better
their health.
170
The objective of my memo is to inform you, the CosmoGirl editors, why it is important that female teenagers be enlightened about this dangerous habit and potential information that you can release to them. First, I will give explanations to why
female teenagers have obsessions with tanning. Secondly, I will address and clarify
the misconceptions about tanning bed light bulbs. Next, I will inform about the
effects of indoor tanning on female teenagers leading into the most dangerous problem, skin cancer. Finally, I will conclude with the importance of CosmoGirl informing teenagers about this dangerous habit and the need for promoting alternatives
and how the magazine can do this. By informing about indoor tanning and promoting alternate ways to achieve the bronze look, the magazine will gain advertisement
sales from globally sold tanning lotion products.
Why Teens Tan
When teenagers are not educated about the effects of indoor tanning and have
advertisements directed at them, it is hard to ignore or make the wise decision on
indoor tanning. Having recently graduated from high school, I noticed that tanning salon companies specifically target the teenage age group. They offer special
unlimited tanning for a low price and some, like the tanning salon in my hometown
in Colorado, even offer a fifty percent discount only to high-school students. Many
tanning industries place advertisements in high-school newspapers focusing on the
direct interest of high-school teenagers. With the help of promotions, certain times
of the year also draw the attention of teenagers to the tanning bed. During the spring
I have noticed many teenagers step into the tanning bed to bronze up for prom. The
materialistic American culture is enforcing the idea that a solid tan is attractive and
popular. Social icons promoted in magazines and on TV such as Paris Hilton and
the more recent Jersey Shore cast reinforce the value of being tan. Since being tan is
now considered as being popular, the activity of merely tanning for prom has developed into tanning all year round. Some teenagers are taking their tanning habits to
extremes by going every day of the week just to make sure they build their deep tan
to its fullest potential. In Julie Rawes Why Teens are Obsessed with Tanning, a
16-year-old Sabrina Hendershot believes that all the girls who are really tanned all
through the yeartheyre the popular girls. Also, the ideas of young males play a
huge role in the popularity of tanning among female teenagers. Many female teenagers believe that young males think the tanner they are, the more attractive they are.
This may be true at the moment, but eventually the health effects of tanning kick in
and the attractiveness diminishes. Since teenagers are trying to achieve this attractiveness, they look for guidance in the celebrities magazines promote. CosmoGirl
can use other social icons, such as former Miss Maryland Britney Lietz Cicala, to
promote a healthier look and establish a new idea of what is beautiful.
Misconceptions
Due to misleading advertisements of safe beds, more teenagers step into tanning
beds unprotected, meaning these teenagers neglect UV-protecting lotion, eyewear,
and the basic knowledge of the dangers of tanning. According to the article, Indoor
Tanning: You Must Read This by Richard Asarch, the truth is that tanning beds use
about 95% UVA and 5% UVB bulbs (1). Tanning salons claim that UVA bulbs are
much safer than UVB bulbs, but that is where they do not get all the facts straight.
The fact is that UVA bulbs are less likely to cause damage on the surface, such as a
171
sun burn, as stated in Indoor Tanning: The Risks of Ultraviolet Rays. Many teenagers think that getting sun burned is the main problem with tanning beds, but it is
not. UVA bulbs cause deeper skin damage than we as humans can see.
Effects of Indoor Tanning
The advancement in our technology has caused scientists to change their minds
about tanning beds. Once being categorized as probably carcinogenic to humans,
tanning beds are now labeled as carcinogenic to humans. This new label is the
strongest warning yet about tanning beds. It puts tanning beds in the same category
as things like smoking and exposure to toxic chemicals. This change recognizes the
fact that tanning beds join plutonium, radiation, and radium into one deadly form,
the UV bulb (Michaelson). The FDA states that exposure to UV radiation can cause
skin cancer, skin burns, premature skin aging, and eye damage (Indoor Tanning).
It has now been proven that UV exposure can not only cause skin cancer, but also
melanoma of the eye. The lack of knowledge about indoor tanning and skin cancer
causes many teenagers to tan unprotected and frequently. The more unprotected
teenagers are while they tan, the more the tanning bed becomes carcinogenic to
them. Childhood to teenage years is a time when the humans body is most susceptible to developing skin cancer from ultraviolet radiation. This increase in risk is also
an increase in the most dangerous side effect of tanning. The CosmoGirl magazine
can use this information to show why indoor tanning is dangerous for teenagers
rather than just simply telling them that it is dangerous.
172
magazine. Teenagers will be attracted to the story about Jodi Duke since it is one
they can relate to in terms of striving for the popular look. After explaining how
dangerous the habit of indoor tanning is, the magazine can then promote ways to
obtain this popular look of being tan while still being safe, through the use of globally sold tanning lotions. This in turn would increase advertisement sales for the
magazine since their female audience will be looking to the magazine for advice in
the best products.
Conclusion: Inform and Promote
The problem with female teenagers and tanning is becoming a huge problem. It is
because teenagers are feeling social pressure from peers and other societal factors to
be tan since a tan is becoming the symbol for beauty. The effects of tanning, however, are not so beautiful. Since these effects are so dangerous and can affect teenagers lives now and later on in life, it is important for something that they look to for
guidance to inform them about the issue. CosmoGirl is an excellent source to spread
the word to teenagers because it attracts teenagers interest so much. Not only can
your magazine inform teenagers about the risks of indoor tanning but it can also
promote alternatives to tanning through advertisements and the use of social icon
advocates. With the help of CosmoGirl magazine, the success of promoting alternatives to indoor tanning will increase and the amount of female teenagers being
informed about the dangers of tanning beds will increase as well. CosmoGirl magazine could be the ultimate halt on this issue resulting in a cancer-free tomorrow. j
Works Cited
Asarch, Richard G. Indoor Tanning: You Must Read This. Skin News 16.2 (2009).
Print.
Indoor Tanning: The Risks of Ultraviolet Rays. FDA Consumer Health Information.
11 May 2010. U.S. Food and Drug Administration. Web. 31 March 2011.
Mayo Clinic Staff. Melanoma. Mayoclinic.com. Mayo Foundation for Medical Education and Research. 2 June 2010. Web. 21 April 2011.
Melanoma Incident Among Young Women in the U.S. Is Rising. Cancer.gov. National
Cancer Institute. 8 Sept. 2008. Web. 21 April 2011.
Michaelson, Elizabeth. Tanning Beds: WHO Issues Official Warning. Skin Cancer
Foundation 26.3 (2009): n. pag. Web. 31 March 2011.
Narayan, Adi. Cancer and Teen Tanning: Wheres the Regulation? Time 12 Oct.
2009: n. pag. Web. 31 March 2011.
Rawe, Julie. Why Teens Are Obsessed With Tanning. Time 7 Aug. 2006: n. pag.
Web. 31 March 2011.
173
Profiles and human interest stories are popular reading material as they help connect
individuals to others in their communities. As part of your assignment, therefore, you
will identify an interested public audience for your profile. You might begin by exploring
Cappers magazine, which features Heart of the Home and Good Old Days stories.
Or you might think more locally with the University Life Caf or even the Riley County
Historical Society. What information would these readers be interested in? How do you
know? And how can you best meet the informative needs of that audience?
The analytical profiles that tend to be the most successful have well-focused subjects,
are centered on a central controlling theme, are presented with vivid and integral detail,
and present a fully developed, clear, interesting, and thoughtful analysis. Additionally, the
paper should display a clear sense of purpose, contain appropriate quotes from the interview, and must include information from at least one other published source.
Objectives
By the end of this assignment, you should be able to do the following:
Research an issue related to communities and identities using appropriate and relevant resources.
Narrow a topic down to one that is manageable, researchable, and relevant to the
particular assignment and theme.
Identify an interested audience.
Evaluate the appropriateness and credibility of research sources.
174
175
What image does Cappers seem to be projecting? What kind of readers do they
appear to be targeting? How do you know?
5
3. What other venues might be appropriate for your analytical profile?
176
2. Consider new acquaintances, such as a coworker, religious leader, or teacher, who can
help you identify members of Manhattans community you could interview. Make a
list of useful contacts.
3. Consider who your parents would suggest that you interview. Generate a list of these
individuals, even if you do not know them personally.
Note: You may wish to work with a small group of classmates and interview someone together.
177
j Conducting an Interview
On the nervousness you might feel about interviewing somebody, Barbara Walters offers
some advice: Being curious is the key to making genuine contact with someone. We [all]
sometimes feel were going to make dopes of ourselves. There isnt anyone who doesnt
feel some insecurity. The secret is trusting the fact that most people are interested in
talking about themselves (Happy 12). Barbara Walters uses open-ended questions as
much as possible. While some questions require only a short answer, open-ended questions give the interviewee freedom to offer personal revelations or interesting anecdotes
which might give you insight into your subject that simple yes-no questions will not.
Before calling to set up an interview appointment, think deeply about which social systems have probably influenced the life of the person youre interviewing. Then do some
preliminary research about those same social systems: what were gender expectations
like in the 1950s? What are some of the issues facing people who grow up in small farming communities? This preliminary research will help you better craft and hone your
research questions. You should then prepare a list of about twenty questions that you
might ask your interviewee. The Starter Question samples and activity could serve as
a basis for your list, but some questions should be specifically tailored to the particular
person youre interviewingtheir age, gender, and life experience, for example, will help
you determine how to shape your list.
When you call to set up the interview, be prepared to give a general explanation of your
assignment. For example, you might say, I am writing an essay on how your life has been
influenced by society. Reassure your interviewee that you do not plan to take more than
an hour of his/her time for your interview questions.
Once you arrive for your interview, have your pen and paper ready to take notes. You
could begin with a question like, What was it like to be a teenager in your community?
Your prepared follow-up questions may all center around an anticipated answer about
the WWII home front. However, the interviewees answer instead includes a fascinating
reference to being allowed to phone a friend occasionally. You might decide to postpone your prepared follow-up questions and pursue questions about how technology
impacted her/his teen years. These follow-up questions may take the interview in an
unplanned and even more interesting direction, leading to a controlling theme centered
on how the telephones availability and use relates to the interviewees social class.
This example should clarify that the controlling theme will often grow out of the interview itself. Therefore, one of the most important elements of an interview is listening.
Ask only one question at a time, and be patient. Most people have never been interviewed, and it can be an unusual experience. A person must have time to think about
her/his answers.
Once you begin to get answers, you can follow your list of questionsbut be prepared
to ask follow-up questions if you do not get enough information from a particular question. You may use a tape recorder if you wish, but make sure you ask for permission from
your interviewee first; also, you should know that tape recorders often make people feel
uncomfortable. Whether you choose to use a tape recorder or just take notes (or both),
make sure you get some direct, exact quotations for use in your paper.
178
Take some notes to help you remember your interviewees answers. If she/he says something particularly interesting, it is all right to ask her/him to repeat the answerso that
you can quote it accurately. It is extremely important that you write out several quotable quotes during the course of the interview. These quotes not only provide facts but
also characterize the speaker. In On Writing Well, William Zinsser tells us, Nothing so
animates a writing as someone telling what he thinks or what he does in his own words.
Zinsser goes on to say:
His own words will always be better than your words, even if you are the most elegant stylist in the land. They carry the inflection of his speaking voice and the idiosyncrasies of his
conversation and the lingo of his trade. They convey his enthusiasm. This is a person talking
to the reader directly, not through the filter of the writer. (81)
You must also take notes on interesting atmospheric details you notice, as well as your
interviewees appearance and delivery. Which sensory details in this place are most
memorable? What is your interviewees attitude in response to your questions? What
gestures, expressions, and voice tones reveal this attitude?
Once youve gathered information through your interview and have determined your
controlling theme you will likely want to return to more traditional research to provide
any context that might help you analyze the information you now have. Remember that
this is not simply a profile piece, but is an attempt to analyze how social systems impact
real people in the community. Outside research can help you to provide more social context and can provide new lenses through which you can view and analyze the responses
from your interviewee.
If you find yourself dreading the interview, remember that most people love to talk about
themselves. Dont feel that you must ask every question you have prepared if the person
talks about other things that interest you. Also, take a phone number, asking your interviewee if you can call back if you have follow-up questions. Enjoy your interview! After
the interview, dont forget to thank your interviewee before leaving. After youve finished
writing your investigative report, send or deliver a copy to your interviewee.
IMPORTANT STEP: As soon as you leave your interviewee, sit down and write down
everything you remember! This step is crucial because you wont have time to take notes
on everything said during the interviewand memory fades fast. That first hour after
the interview is the best time, as all reporters know, to record whatever you were not able
to put into writing during the interview.
Works Cited
179
What specific instance exemplifies how your life has been influenced by your
work?
Who has had a great influence on you? What is important about this person?
Whats one specific instance in which you remember this person influencing you
in some way?
What do you consider the most important issues facing the world today?
How do these issues differ from your concerns when you were younger?
Whats one time that you recall one of these issues impacting your life?
What are the most important changes in these issues that you have seen?
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Can you describe a time when you faced a moral dilemma? What happened?
What did you do?
What one value has changed the most in society? What value has changed the
least?
How has the media changed society from when you were younger?
How did the civil rights and/or the womens movement of the 1960s and 70s impact
your life?
181
j Choosing an Organization
You should not expect any one pattern or method of organization to serve all types of
writing. In a feature article, the arrangement of the parts usually grows organically out of
the experience youve had with the subject. In more objective writing, form may sometimes grow out of the complex rhetorical situation or it may be based on an imitation
of a traditional design. Because we are visually oriented creatures, professional writers
have developed several specific diagrams to help themselves envision forms that often
grow out of imaginative leads. Below, one such diagram illustrates how a provocative
lead design is applicable for this assignment. Remember, however, that this pattern of
organization is just one possible strategy.
The Provocative Lead Design
The sensory tension builder, a type of provocative lead, sets the scene and creates tension
that entices the readers interest. The nature of this lead depends on the body paragraphs
that explore the subject and analyze the situation through facts and description. Once
the facts and descriptions have been given, a concluding section connects with the lead
to give a sense of closure that holds the essay together like bookends. These relationships
between report sections are illustrated below.
Bookend:
Capturing Attention through a Sensory Tension Builder
Although the sunlight streamed brightly through the window to create
sparkling prisms of light across the room, Susans face was tight and
her eyes were sad.
Facts:
quotations, information from
published sources, and background
information
Description:
sensory information, such as gestures,
expressions, and setting details
Bookend:
Closing the Sensory Frame
Susan smiled at me knowingly as the sunlight in the room softened
in the warm glow of the setting sun.
The introductionwhich might be several paragraphsshould set the scene and create
interest for the reader. In the diagram example above, interest is created by using a sensory tension builder; a different type of provocative lead, such as a humorous statement,
could also create interest.
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The facts and descriptions that create the discourse blocks of the report body should be
blended together in such a way that the paper is clear and easy to follow. Many writers
organize from most important to least important or the reverse. Choosing the order of
details and information will impact the tone and style of your essay. As well as creating
interest, organizational style will allow the reader to connect to the subject and understand how a social system can influence his or her life. Therefore, details used in the body
of the report must be chosen carefully.
The concluding section, like the introduction, may also be several paragraphs working
together. To create a sense of closure, reconnect to the focus of interest used in the introduction. In this example, closure is achieved by building on the same sensory details as
the introduction to complete the scene.
183
184
Workshop guide
Writer
Date
Reader
Analytical Profile
1. In your own words, summarize the writers controlling theme.
5
3. This is an analytical profile. Note places where the writer is doing a good job making
connections to outside sources. Where might more outside information be useful?
185
4. Look specifically at the description of objects, scenes, or people. Which three sensory details are most memorable? Why?
5. Does the paper answer the controlling idea question: How has society influenced the
life of the interviewee?
Yes Sometimes No
Yes Sometimes No
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RUBRIC
Writer
Date
Analytical Profile
When handing in your report, make sure to include:
A printout or copy of all your sources, including interview notes. Be sure to
highlight or bracket the parts of the sources from which you paraphrase or quote.
Rough drafts with workshop comments.
All notes and applicable assignments.
Additionally, remember to:
Include your last name and page number on each page.
Double space and use 12-point font.
Criteria
Unacceptable
(No Pass)
Acceptable
(Low Pass)
Average/
Above Average
(Pass)
Excellent
(High Pass)
187
Notes:
188
Never an Issue
Holly Weeden
The shiny Model A rambling down the rural Kansas road slows to a gradual stop to
aid in the rescue of the local basketball team stranded before a game. I can just see
it nowThe long, lean boys are chatting excitedly through toothy grins while they
pack in, some sitting inside and some hanging from the fenders as it cruises down
the road towards town. The basketball uniforms flap in the breeze, and their voices
are loud and boisterous. Even a scruffy farm mutt runs alongside near the back tires
barking, tongue hanging wildly about: It could be a painting by Norman Rockwell.
The rescuera girl! Her dark curls flip happily in the breeze, and her hand-sewn
feed-sack dress is nicely pressed for going to town. I can see her laughing with the
boys, perhaps teasing them a little just because she can
As Mary Ann Parsons sits across the small grey and red table from me, her aged
hands are articulate, perhaps revealing her inner delight at recalling such an adventure (I notice throughout the interview that her hands are constantly in motion).
The morning sun filters through the large commercial windows highlighting the
silver in her bobbed grey hair and glints off her gold-rimmed glasses. I find myself
thinking I hope I look this good when Im 82. We are surrounded by 1950s memorabilia: a yellow hotrod, an Elvis statue, even an old jukebox playing soda shop classics.
Printed on the walls is a mural of teens in the 50s: poodle skirts, roller-skates, girls
with ponytails, boys in jeans with slicked back hair, vintage cars, and the golden
arches in the background. I find it fitting that we meet in this Topeka McDonalds; its
nostalgic. Shes just finished having coffee with her friends, and she came prepared
for my questions as she hands me a handwritten account of her younger years. She
looks comfortable in a grey Snoopy Halloween sweatshirt, jeans, and black shoes.
I am surprised to learn it was she who was driving in the opening story; after all,
most everything I have learned says that women were encouraged to stay at home,
cook, clean, and care for the kids, supposed womens roles.and yet here sits before
me an amazing woman whose life contradicts what I thought I knew about womens
roles in the early 1930s and 40s, and has me wonderingwhat influenced my beliefs?
According to Betty Friedan, author of The Feminine Mystique, popular magazines
represented a repressive force, imposing damaging images on vulnerable American
women (qtd. in Meyerowitz 1457). She blamed the mass media. I agreed with her
completely; that is, until I read an article by Joanne Meyerowitz, Beyond the Feminine Mystique, in which she researched further about the impact mass media had
on women after WW II. She encounteredexceptional evidencethat contradicted
the domestic ideology (Meyerowitz 1456). Throughout her research, Meyerowitz
discovered that the media had plenty to say about women: The popular literature I
sampled did not simply glorify domesticity or demand that woman return to or stay
189
at home. All of the magazines sampled advocated both the domestic and the nondomestic, sometimes in the same sentence (1458). I can only assume then that my
beliefs are something of a shipwreck of sorts, little bits and pieces washing up ashore
and lying there ungrounded. Social researcher Tim Wise called it environmental
conditioning (96). My environment formed my beliefs: bits from TV, radio, comic
strips, my mother, grandparents, and the movies.
When I asked Mary Ann if she was part of any womens rights movements she paused
to collect her thoughts. Her hand supported her jaw and her raspy voice was serious
and searching, I didnt know what they wantedto be equal to a man? I could hear
the change in her voice when she spoke about equality. I guessed from her tone her
thoughts were something of this sort: Why would women want to change the good
thing we have going on? To Mary Ann, the traditional gender roles of women worked.
There was no downside that Mary Ann and her friends could see. She paused, and
I could hear relief in her voice again as she talked about her family and friends. We
always liked being treated like women and girls; we were waited on, pursued, doors
were opened for us. Deep, soft wrinkles creased at the edges of her mouth and her
eyes lit up as she reminisced. I smiled and thought about how wonderful it must
have been to be treated so well. It seems now that men are so afraid to offend women
that they simply walk on by rather than hold a door or lend a hand.
Mary Ann was neither an antifeminist nor a feminist. I imagine there must have
been many women who fell somewhere in this middle category. We were all in the
same boat. Yet her attitude was not one of feminine equality with men; she liked
being a traditional woman and the way women were held in high esteem, protected,
loved, cherish, and respected. She was just the way she was, not because she was
making a statement that women can do it all. Even though it sure sounds like they
could: driving, working, playing, educating, tending the garden, canning, ironing,
sewing the list goes on and on and on.
Mary Anns mother never worked, except for one holiday season in order for her
and daddy to buy my brother Jack and I a pair of roller skates for ChristmasAll
moms were at home so it wasnt strange to see them there when you went to a
friends home.
Mary Ann said she was a tomboy, and Im pretty sure I saw a hint of the stubborn
jaw set one gets when standing her ground. She said her mom didnt mind her being
outside, though Mary Ann still had indoor duties such as setting the table, helping
during canning, gardening, ironing, and sewing. When I asked her how her father
felt about her being outdoors much of the time, she paused and thought a bit, Dad
mustve been okay with it; it was never an issue.
Her family lived on the edge of Burlingame, KS, and there werent a lot of rich kids
or more privileged families there to compare to. She hung out with city kids, didnt
really know the farm girls, and walked to school with a girl of color. The three black
families in town fit in as far as she could tell. To her and her family, people were
people, regardless of color or privilege.
190
Mary Ann was 14 or 15 when her father taught her to drive and just 16 when she
drove herself to work at Forbes airbase supply depot in Pauline, KS. She went to work
for the Santa Fe railroad in 1946; she was 18 years old and worked there for a total of
28 years. My face scrunches as I try to imagine how it was. But no matter how hard I
try, I cant imagine working anywhere that long; it seems like such a different world.
She met her husband Merrill in the seventh grade and they dated for four years
before they married. They had no children, We didnt plan on it and there was no
accidents. I asked if she felt disapproval from others since the 40s and 50s seemed
historically to require having kids. No, there were quite a few of us that didnt have
kids. I wonder if she could see the surprise covering my face as I recorded all these
bits of knowledge.
Mary Ann Parsons doesnt sound anything like the tormented suppressed shell of a
woman that mass media shovels in our faces about women in the past. I see before
me a woman who was not helpless, but happy with her life, her husband, and their
choice for no children. Mary Ann enjoyed all the perks of being a girl raised in the
1940s in rural Kansas: she didnt cook, but she did clean, work, play just as hard as
the next kid; and while driving, Mary Ann even rescued a basketball team. j
Works Cited
Katie Mosher wrote this analytical profile in Cindy Debes Expos I class.
ahhhh about my finger paintings and the only person who knew that blue scribble
on the paper was supposed to be an elephant holding a flower sitting on a rainbow.
This is when I realize that there are so many pieces to my grandmas life that I dont
know. I am almost ashamed as I begin to ask her questions that I have never even
thought of asking before in a normal conversation.
I decide to start with some of the basics, answers I already know, since she seems
to be a little nervous, her hands keep shifting from her lap to the table to her coffee
cup. She tells me about how her teen years were spent in the 1950s in a small town
called Cumberland, Iowa. There were 15 kids in her graduating class. It was not
difficult for her to remember vivid details about growing up in a small community
with her sister. They did not misbehave much, since everyone knew each other and
word would get back to their parents in no time. She told me about going to the iceskating rink with her friends and she told me about her typewriter; for a while I was
concerned she was not going to stop talking about how much she loved this typewriter. I cherish all the details my grandma is telling me as I am using them to form
a better picture in my mind of her life. But I am also aware of where this interview
is headed. And how uncomfortable I am about to make the situation, as I search for
the answers to my question of how societys view of pregnancy out of wedlock in the
1960s influenced the decisions my grandma made as a young woman and the way
she sees societytoday.
This may seem as if it came out of nowhere; however, I already have some background knowledge about the secrets in my family that have spiked my curiosity. I
know that my grandma went to Simpson College in Indianola, Iowa (the only one
out of her graduating class of boys and girls to go to college). She was 18, she met a
boy, and they started dating. Suddenly, a couple months later they announced that
they were engaged, although the boy could not afford a ring. They were married
shortly thereafter, and about one month after they were married, they announced
that they were having a baby. About six months later, they had a healthy 7 lb. 6
oz. baby boy: my father. This mystery of how the timing all worked out is one that
has never been directly asked. Yet, it is just common knowledge among the family
members that my grandma must have gotten pregnant and knowing that this would
not be accepted by our family or society, she got married. I do not plan to ask my
grandma if this is true or not; I feel that a question like that would be disrespectful.
However, I hope that with my line of questions, I can uncover what she really wants
to say but could never actually tell anyone.
Ok, so Grandma, I just want to talk a little bit about how society viewed certain
issues at the time. I start in, hoping my questions sound general enough and not too
thought out. So I continue, I was thinking we could just start with the issue of teen
pregnancy or becoming pregnant out of wedlock. I bite my lip hoping my question
was not too obvious. However, she hardly even paused as she began to give the most
animated answer so far in the interview, Ohhhhhh might as well have just gone out
and shot somebody! I try to suppress a giggle at the way she says that. I mean if you
got pregnant, you couldnt go to school. You had to go away to a home and then give
it up for adoption. The whole townand I mean the whole town, from the old folks
to the little bittie kids would be whisperin about you. She pauses, looks down at her
192
hands, then looks back at me and says, Trust me, kids would do just about anything
to avoid that. I think in that moment, we both knew kids was her.
I think by anything she was referring to getting married to avoid being the town
scandal. I realized in reading an article called New Mothers, Not Married by
George Akerlof, Janet Yellen, and Michael Katz that my grandma fit picture perfectly into the shotgun marriage era. It is explained in this article that until the
early 1970s, [shotgun marriage] was the norm to premarital sexual relations (278).
The article explains how it was expected that if a boy got a girl pregnant, he better
marry her and provide for them. This seems to be exactly what my grandpa did.
Another part of this article that supports my grandmas claim that you had to give
your baby up for adoption in that time is the statistics on adoption. According to the
article, adoption was on a rise in the 60s and peaked in 1970 with only 23 percent of
unwed mothers keeping their children. This is extremely low even compared to the
1980s where about 66% of unwed mothers kept their children (Akerlof, Yellen, and
Katz283).
Another point that this article focuses on that my grandma brought up was the
social stigma attached with being an unwed mother. I asked my grandma how she
felt that this has changed over the years. She told me that it is acceptable now to be
an unwed mother. Its on TV, its in the news, its in high schools, its talked about;
they are not shunned, they are helped by society, there is welfare. She continued to
talk about how different life is now for unwed mothers, and I couldnt help but notice
the envy in her voice. Of course, it seems obvious she would rather be an unwed
mother now, in 2011, where there are options and choices that a woman has when
it comes to having a child. The article explains, Since out-of-wedlock childbearing no longer results in social ostracism, literally and figuratively, shotgun marriage
no longer occurs at the point of the shotgun (Akerlof, Yellen, and Katz 309). If my
grandma had been pregnant in a different time that was more conducive to her situation, maybe she would have been able to stay in school instead of dropping out of
college before even completing a semester. I wonder if she felt trapped, like she had
no options.
I got very lucky with your grandpa, Katie. He was an amazing man. He loved
me and our family and tried his best to give us everything we wanted. I cant help
but feel the tears forming in the corners of my eyes. I remember watching the love
between my grandparents growing up; I never doubted how much my grandpa cared
about his family. But I also realize how this may be less of a heart-felt comment
about true love and more about true luck. My grandma became pregnant after dating a man for a couple of months, and then was forced by society to marry him to
avoid public scrutiny. She is incredibly lucky that he was the loving amazing man
that he was.
My grandma was a young woman in the 1960s. She was editor of the school newspaper, gave the speech at graduation, was in the chorus, played the sports that girls
were allowed to play at the time, tutored younger children, and worked at the local
grocery store. She was by past and present day standards an All-American girl. The
fact that she even was accepted into college was impressive enough at that time. But
193
she was not just a young woman in the 1960s, she was a young pregnant unmarried
woman in the 1960s. I cannot begin to imagine the fear she must have felt when
she realized she was going to have to marry a man she barely knew and change her
entire lifes goals to remain a respected woman in society.
I loved being a housewife. I would hear other mothers talk about dreading the summer, but I loved the extra time with the kids, every second of it. Anytime she talks
about my dad and my aunts, her face lights up and her eyes become even softer,
which I didnt even know was possible. Honestly I never felt restricted by my gender
at the time, but looking back I see that I was. I just did what I had to do, the only
way I saw at the time. She pauses and runs her finger around the edge of her coffee
mug as if contemplating how much more to tell me. I am begging her with my eyes
to keep talking. She looks up and says in almost a defensive tone, yet not at all mean,
I didnt see it then, but I do see it now. I made the choices that I thought I had, but
really they were not choices at all, you cant choose something if you only have one
option to choose from.
Grandma, if you lived in society today would you make different choices? I watch
her forehead scrunch up and suddenly am filled with such respect for her for thinking so hard about my questions and being so honest with me. She takes a deep breath,
I cant answer that sweetheart, I justI really dont know. I decide not to push it
any further. I think her answers are clear enough. Both she and I realize that she was
a woman who was extremely affected by a social stigma in society at the time. And
in facing the reality of being shunned from her community, she chose to give up
her dreams and become a married mother at age 19. I have a newfound respect and
admiration for my grandmother for doing what she felt she had to do and being the
loving and caring person that she is.
Feeling the weight of built up stress and emotion that now filled the room, I decide
that we should be done. Okay Grandma, so tell me more about this typewriter. I
cant even hold back a smile as her eyes become wide and she leans forward in the
chair and begins to chatter on and on about the sleek keys and the soothing sound it
made. I dont know when this now completely one-sided conversation will end, but I
wouldnt trade today for anything. j
Works Cited
Akerlof, George A., Janet L. Yellen, and Michael L. Katz, An Analysis of Out-ofWedlock Childbearing in the United States, Quarterly Journal of Economics 111
(1996): 277317. JSTOR. Web. 20 Oct. 2011.
Mosher, Margo. Personal interview. 23 October 2011.
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CHAPTER 6
Personal Ethnography
Assignment Guidelines
In this assignment, you will continue to explore gender, class, race/ethnicity, and other
social systems. This time, you will focus upon your own social and cultural identity and
reflect on how it fits into these larger social systems. Obviously, you possess many different
identities, and you may think of your identity in different ways depending upon where you
are, whom you are interacting with, and what you are doing. You may even find yourself
now rejecting the identity that you grew up with and are now trying on new identities.
In order to make your personal ethnography more significant, try to choose an identity
that shows readers how you connect yourself to a larger social group, which, again, may
be tied to gender, class, race/ethnicity, or region. Your experiences with how other people
create an identity for you, which may be negative ones, may also be a good place to start.
The personal ethnography combines storytelling with analysis and research. You will
use descriptive and narrative strategies to recall a particular experience that illustrates
the influence of the social systems that we have explored in this class. Make sure that
your experience reveals aspects of your cultural identity. It might be helpful to think in
terms of what cultures you identify withculture being defined as the learned behaviors, values, and beliefs that are shared and practiced by a group of people. For example,
you might focus on an event that represents your culture, such as a family tradition or a
moment when you were first aware of your gender, class, or race. Your options are open,
as long as you focus on an experience that somehow reveals your position in a social
system. Remember that stories are powerful: they help us explore, appreciate, and learn
about each other.
As you tell your story, you will also analyze the events significance in terms of your cultural identity, specifically in terms of the social systems explored in this course. For your
analysis, you need to step away from your experience and examine it from the eye of a
social researcher. From this position, you should try to come up with points or generalizations that show readers how gender, class, race/ethnicity, and other factors connect to
your identity. In order to develop your analysis, you should include at least one outside
research source. Possible examples of sources may be articles that you have already read
and discussed in class or texts that you have found using the library databases or other
resources. These research sources should develop the ways you think about the social
and cultural identity that you are analyzing.
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Consider some of these following questions when thinking about your analysis:
What specific examples from your experience support your analysis?
Why is your experience significant? Why did you choose this experience, as opposed
to others?
What does this particular experience tell readers about your social and cultural
identity?
What are the values of the larger social group that you are identifying with?
Your instructor may ask you to integrate your analysis within your narrative. Alternatively, your instructor may ask you to separate your personal ethnography into two parts,
one that describes your experience and then one that analyzes the experience.
Objectives
By the end of this assignment, you should be able to do the following:
Demonstrate awareness of how you and other people are positioned as members of
particular cultures.
Identify how identity is influenced by the structures of gender, class, and/or race.
Narrate a specific experience that is relevant in illustrating cultural identity.
Use descriptive strategies to vividly create impressions for the reader.
Analyze implications of social systems in your life, particularly as revealed in your
experience.
Integrate research sources that support your analysis.
Rationale
The personal ethnography is important because it brings the previous units together,
asking you now to connect the course concepts to your own identity and experiences.
This assignment also gives you the opportunity to connect analysis, the type of writing
that we normally expect to see at the college level, with creative nonfiction and storytelling strategies. The type of flexibility that is required to connect these two different purposes of writing is important. You may use narrative strategies in other K-State classes
in order to make your arguments more forceful. There are even classes, including Introduction to American Ethnic Studies (AMETH 160), in which you will be asked to write
a personal ethnography.
In families like mine, men are born smelling of gun amid a forest of firearms. The family home, a
huge old clapboard farmhouse, was stuffed with guns, maybe thirty in all. There were 10-, 12-,
14-, and 20-gauge shotguns, pump guns, over-and-unders, and deer rifles of every imaginable
sort from classic Winchester 94 models to 30-ought-sixes, an old cap and ball horse pistol
dating back to the mid-1800s, and even a set of dueling pistols that have been in my family
since the 1700s. No hillbilly ever threw a gun away, even when it could no longer be repaired.
And until they stopped working completely, guns were endlessly cared for and patched back
together. Otherwise they werent to be parted with except under the direst circumstances,
either on your deathbed or because you were so broke your cash bounced. For example, there
is one ancestral family gun that my brother Mike did not inheritmy fathers prized old Ivers
and Johnson double-barrel shotgun, which had been in the family since the turn of the twentieth century. An out-of-work trucker at Christmastime, Daddy sold it to buy us kids the standard assortment of Christmas junk so we would not feel disappointed. I remember a Robert the
Robot for me, a tin stove for my sister, a little red wheelbarrow for my brother, and, of course,
toy guns and holsters. That was in 1952. We still have the photographs, and we still lament
the loss of that fine old Ivers and Johnson. (121)
Obviously, beginning with the tangible objects of guns, Bageant has been able to describe
important relationships within his family and find important points to say about his
working-class and Southern rural identity.
As you think of ideas for your story, you might find it helpful to read about one student,
Matt, and his struggles to find a topic for his personal ethnography.
How Matt Discovered His Story
When Matt first started to think about his personal ethnography topic, he knew he
would never find an idea. I dont have a culture! he told his instructor. Im just a regular
white guy from Salina, he said.
Matts instructor suggested that he use one of the invention strategies from his textbook
to generate a list of meaningful places, things, and events in his life. She told him not to
worry about the cultural identity part of the assignment as he made his lists. There will
be time to test your ideas later, she said. Just put some ideas on paper to start.
Matt followed his instructors advice, and his lists are reproduced below.
Places
Fishing cabin at lake
Grandpas barn
Orlando
Events
Teaching guitar lessons
Graduation trip
Things
Guitars
Grandpas hats
Dresser from Great-grandparents
Matt chose two of the ideas from his lists to freewrite about: his Grandpas hats and his
guitars. His freewrites are reproduced below.
Grandpas Hats
My grandpa gave me these hats when I was 15. One is an old beat-up straw cowboy hat that
he used to wear when he was working. I can remember him wearing it when he would drive
his tractor through the fields. The other hat is a dress hat that he wore to church on Sundays.
It is black and has a narrow brim. Its in good shape because he didnt wear it all the time. The
hats mean a lot to me because my grandpa gave me these hats just before he died. He had
stomach cancer and died when I was 16.
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Guitars
I have six guitars. Three of them are acoustic and three are electric. Guitar playing has always
been a hobby of mine, and my mom plays guitar too. I brought two of my guitars with me to
school. The best guitar I have is an acoustic made of Brazilian Rosewood. It makes other guitars
sound like crap. I left it at home though when I came to K-State because my mom was afraid
someone might try to rip it off. It cost almost $3000.
Activity
Play the role of Matts classmate by helping him to test his topic ideas.
1. Can you see a way that his grandpas hats or his guitars could relate to his gender,
class, or race? What kind of story might he think about telling?
2. Might any of his other ideas from his brainstorming lists relate to gender, class, or
race? In what ways?
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j Brainstorming Stories
From his book Literature Workshop, Sheridan Blau recommends that you can find story
ideas by identifying all of the stories that you tell in your family or that you tell when you
are with close friends. Try following Blaus steps below in order to help you come up with
some possible story ideas:
1. Identify around three of these types of stories, ones that you think are the most
interesting.
2. Write down titles for these stories, making them as representative and interesting as
possible.
3. Share your titles with your classmates, providing some brief information about your
story if necessary.
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4. After hearing your classmates stories, think up a few more story ideas.
5. Think about which of the stories might have the most to say about gender, class, ethnicity/race, and other social factors. Jot down some more notes about the story you
have chosen.
6. Share your story with a small group of classmates. When you are finished with your
story, ask your listeners to test your story. What is the major point about the story?
(The So What? question.) Can they interpret the significance of your story? Can
they connect your story meaningfully to social and cultural identity? Listen to your
listeners interpretations and take down more notes.
7. Share with the whole class, both the story and the student listeners interpretations.
Can other students offer additional interpretations?
Continue exploring the invention strategies listed below to help you discover a topic for
your narrative. You should test each idea you come up with by asking yourself: How does
this story relate to gender, race, or class? If you cant answer this question, even with help
from your instructor and classmates, you should go back to your brainstorming lists and
choose another idea for your narrative.
Activity: Invention
1. Look back at the answers you wrote at the end of our discussions on gender, class,
race, and privilege. You should already have a list of ideas! Make note of your top two
choices.
2. Make a list of the meaningful places in your life, the meaningful things in your life,
and the meaningful events in your life. Choose one idea from your list and freewrite
about it.
3. Have you ever been in a place where you were made to feel aware of your gender,
class, or race? What happened? How did you feel?
4. Use at least one invention strategy (brainstorming, listing, mapping, clustering, freewriting, etc.) to help you develop one of your ideas.
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One way to start planning your narrative is to make a storyboard. A storyboard is a visual
representation of the scenes or events that make up a story. It uses sketches and words to
present an outline of the story. Writers use storyboards to map out the plot of their stories and to help them decide what details to include. Making a storyboard can also help
you decide the best place for the point of learning in your story.
Activity
1. Make a storyboard for one of the student examples found in the back of this unit.
Follow the steps below to make the storyboard.
Divide the story into sections based on where the action is taking place and what
is happening. You should have four or five sections.
Divide a sheet of paper into sections and draw one sketch for each section of the
story using captions if needed.
2. Make a storyboard for your own personal ethnography narrative. Be sure to include
a point of learning (an aha! moment) as you outline your plot. If you find that your
storyboard has more than five sections, you may be trying to include too many details
in your story.
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j Narrative Strategies
Once you have a viable topic for your personal ethnography, you should consider the following narrative strategies as you plan what you will write.
Plot
Generally, the plot of the story should remain focused on one specific experience (a
snapshot rather than a string of memories) that illustrates the issues of gender, class,
and/or race. The narrative needs to include some kind of temporal (time) awareness for
the reader. The narrative should also include the following parts:
beginning (opening scene that establishes setting, characters, and the main issue)
middle (actions and reactions leading to the point of your new awareness)
end (resolution of some sort)
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Point of Learning
The narrative should have a moment when the reader can tell that you have learned
something or have been made aware of something. Your personal ethnography should
focus around this point of learning. The point of learning might be a moment of enlightenment, a move from innocence to experience, or a critical choice. For example, your
ethnography could focus on a moment when you realized you were different from someone else or when you realized you were being treated differently than others due to your
gender, race, or class. Your personal ethnography should clearly reveal how gender, class,
or race plays a role in your life.
Recreating Dialogue
When writers are telling stories about past events, they rarely remember the exact words
that people said. Most writers recreate dialogue by thinking about what people probably
said during the event. Adding dialogue to a story in this way can often make the event
and characters seem more real to the audience.
When using dialogue, keep in mind the following conventions:
Start a new paragraph each time a different character speaks.
Periods and commas should be placed inside the quotation marks.
It should be clear which character is speaking.
Using Show Words Rather Than Tell Words
Tell words interpret a scene without describing it. Tell words deliver prepackaged
ideas to the reader (pleasant, happy, depressing, annoying, pretty, etc.).
The ceramic bread bowl that has been in my family for five generations has a nice, reassuring
feel to it that I realize my foremothers must have felt as well.
Show words describe a scene through sensory details. The description itself evokes the
desired effect without requiring the writer to state it overtly.
As the bowls smooth, solid, ceramic interior guides my hands back to a forming ball of dough,
I imagine my great-grandmothers hands brushing against the sides of this same bowl as she
spent hours kneading dough that would be made into countless zwiebach, bierrocks, and
verenike for her familys sustenance.
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Religion
Disability
Gender
Your
Experience
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M
en-
Race &
Ethnicity
ayd
Social
Class
Region
Think about these following questions in order to help you analyze your narrative:
With what social lenses are you going to examine your experience?
What is significant about this social lens? What does it reveal about the larger social
group or system that you are identifying with?
What are the values of this social group? What does this social group think is
important?
What attracts you to these values?
What concerns or problems do you see in this social group and its values?
What are the positive or negative consequences about the values of this social
group?
Identify the Supporting Details
Analyze the details from the narrative that suggest or explain your cultural identity or a
social construction. The analysis needs to refer to specific details and examples, explaining why the details are significant to the cultural group or social system being discussed.
My mom would always buy name brand clothes for us, and she would not only get her nails
done regularly but also let my sister and me get our hair and nails done frequently. When I first
came to K-State, I was forced to support myself, and I wondered how my mom maintained the
seemingly abundant lifestyle we had. I just recently realized that I had no idea our family did
not have much money because of how we lived.
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Not every paragraph has a statement of exposition. Dustin Furreys first paragraph
on the following page creates a compelling picture of a big fight between the writers
parents, a big fight that led to the familys economic decline. The writer has chosen to
tell the story before he offers any sentences summing up his meaning or reflecting on
the significance of this event.
As discussed earlier, examples include concrete details that offer a clear illustration of
a writers points. The sample on the following page includes several concrete details,
notably the inescapable stench of hard liquor in the air in the first paragraph; and
cracks along the walls in the second paragraph. Details such as these help readers
visualize your description.
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Though summaries do not include specific examples, almost every other kind of writing you will do will require examples. Examples are an especially crucial aspect of
open-form writingwriting that relies on more implicit statements of meaning. In
this common type of writing, examples are deployed to actually make the writers
points; readers are expected to read between the lines in order to determine the writers meaning.
Important Facts about Explanation
Writers need to do more than just state their points (in sentences of exposition) and
illustrate their points (in sentences which include examples). They also need to provide a broader context for their ideas: explaining how they got from Point A to Point B
in their thinking; explaining how one point relates to other points in an essay; explaining how an experience is specifically relevant to an articulated point. In the example
below, the writer spends a lot of time explaining how his familys situation changed
throughout timehow they bought a house and then lost a house. While the second
paragraph includes several concrete details and explicit statements of meaning, the
bulk of the paragraph can be seen as explanation, articulating to readers how the
writer interprets his familys rise and fallin terms of both class status and happiness.
The best writers spend a lot of time providing analysis of their ideas and examples;
conversely, if you only have explanation that is not grounded by examples and
exposition, you are likely to have written a rantpotentially a lot of grammatically
fluent sentences that explore a subject for yourself without considering readers needs
for specificity.
(Excerpt from Dustin Furreys personal ethnography, A Strong Foundation)
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Dad told my sister, Kelli, and me to go to bed. The peace didnt last long. Screams soon ensued
from both parents, drawing Kelli back downstairs and luring me from the safety of my bedroom. I remember coming out of my room to stand in the hallway, half hidden behind the
entryway to the living room, finding Mom in an aggressive stance, as if ready to battle a fierce
gladiator to the death, and smelling the inescapable stench of hard liquor in the air. In between
thrown objects and the occasional slap, Mom was accusing Dad of everything from infidelity
to abuse and beyond.
Prior to the big fight, I was in a working-class household that had finally achieved the lower
ranks of the middle class. We had often moved around town, until we were able to afford that
house. Every other home that I can remember had cracks along the walls, rotting porches, or
neighbors who were louder and visibly more abusive than my family. I was so happy to finally
have my own room, after sharing one with my sister for as long as I can remember. This new
house was the symbol of our new life as a family, of a better life in general.
Workshop guide
Writer
Date
Reader
Personal Ethnography
1. Make sure you are clear about what is happening in the story. At places where you
have questions about specific details, write these questions in the margin. Be specific. For example: How long had your family lived in this neighborhood? or How
could people tell that your car was old? Was it rusty? Did it have a big, boxy trunk?
or What were you wearing that made people assume you were a member of a lower
class?
2. Does the essay include characters and dialogue? How can the writer make the narrative more vivid?
3. Does the essay include some kind of conflict or tension? What is it?
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5. Is the writers culture illustrated and explained in the ethnography? If yes, sum up
how the paper does this; if no, make suggestions for what seems to be missing.
6. List two things the writer does especially well in the personal ethnography. (Keep in
mind that all papers have redeeming qualities!)
7. List two things that could be improved in the personal ethnography. (Keep in mind
that all papers have room for improvement!)
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RUBRIC
Writer
Date
Writer
Date
Personal Ethnography
When handing in this paper, make sure to include the following:
Rough drafts with workshop comments.
All notes and applicable assignments.
Additionally, remember to do the following:
Include your last name and page number on each page.
Double space and use 12-point font.
Criteria
Unacceptable
(No Pass)
Acceptable
(Low Pass)
Average/
Above Average
(Pass)
Excellent
(High Pass)
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Notes:
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Some girls in my grade creatively made a new name for me: yeti. It became embedded in my life and was a name that I could not avoid. The girls would call out my new
name around every corner.
Here comes the yeti, the girls would warn and point.
Rather than saying a tall girl was coming, they incorporated the word yeti to give
the characteristic a more masculine and unflattering appeal. They said it so loud
everyone within a hundred foot radius would be completely aware that I was walking their way. Walking down the hallway, the word made its way to my ears as the
girls shouted it behind my back. No matter how much I tried to avoid the name, I
could not. I could hear it being repeated by the girls, and when it was not, it was running though my brain the rest of the time. I could not understand where the word
had come from. I was tall but not tall like a yeti. I was not hairy or masculine, and
I did not have messed up teeth. I constantly looked in the mirror to try and figure
out what about myself was yeti-like. Since I perceived a yeti as a masculine animal,
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I became obsessed with avoiding anything that was considered masculine. I started
to wear more make-up, dress in fancier clothes and dresses, and even began to lose
more weight. I had noticed that the taunting had stopped, but I did not want to stop
perfecting myself. I wanted to become what I thought was the ideal symbol of what
a woman was to me, a model.
As I snapped out of my flashback of wanting to become a model, I was awakened
into reality. My dream was about to become real. It was my turn to strut the runway,
and I had to make myself shine. I could hear the beat of the techno music, and it
was pumping through my veins. I could feel just where the light was hitting me, and
I used it to enlighten what I thought my best features were. I was feeling confident
and energized as I glided up the steps and stopped in the center to pose before I
embarked on my journey down the runway. I knew all eyes were on me and that this
was the perfect time to show who I had become; I now embraced my height rather
than dreaded it. I strutted down the runway gazing into the eyes of the judges. I
would stop and pose and stop and spin. I could feel in my heart that I was shining.
At the end of the competition I had received 6th overall in runway out of about 600
contestants in my age group. I had achieved becoming a model and achieved what I
had always wanted to do. I had turned my height into something feminine.
Analysis
Growing up I always thought that if you were biologically female that no one would
question your gender. I did not realize that in society, physical characteristics are
what actually make up your gender. After being taunted about my height I learned
that there are socially-constructed standards on what is masculine or feminine.
The female group in society has more standards based on appearance. As a female
I felt the pressure of these standards when my own appearance was classified as
being more masculine. These standards affected the way I perceived myself. Having
always seen myself as feminine, I now questioned my every physical feature as being
masculine.
The girls who were bullying me had a constant obsession with how I looked. They
were doing it because of a peculiarity they did not like. They made fun of my height
because it did not fit into their perception of normal attributes of females. By doing
this they proved that this female group values characteristics that fall into accord
with what a normal female should look like. Society is full of these ideas of what
is considered normal and in turn absolute because of the influence of the media.
In the video, Killing Us Softly 3: Advertisings Image of Women, Jean Kilbourne said,
The primary purpose of the mass media is to sell products. Advertising does sell
products, of course, but it also sells a great deal morePerhaps most important of
normalcyThe ideal is based on absolute flawlessness.Women are acceptable only
if we are young, thin, white, and beautiful. Any deviation from this stands out as not
acceptable and the person therefore should change their appearance. To my female
bullies who were much shorter than me, I stood out. I deviated from the norm and,
through the bullying, was expected to change from the pressure.
Societys standards on what a female should look like are based on what they consider
faultless and beautiful, and I wanted to be just that. During and after I was being bullied for my height, I became obsessed with my physical appearance. According to the
girls who bullied me, I was not considered perfect because they made a connection
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between my tallness and masculinity through the use of the word yeti. My peculiarity of being tall did not fall into the idea of femininity. Since I could not physically
change my height, I tried to change everything else about me. I constantly tried to
refine my face by using make-up because my newly profound goal was to make my
face as flawless as possible. I wore only the in fashion that I saw in magazines such
as Elle. Although I was already skinny, I kept losing weight until I was about 60%
underweight for my height and age. The changing of my appearance was me trying
to conform to the standards of what was ideally feminine. I was now what Kilbourne
said society believes as normal. I was now flawlessyoung, thin, white, and beautiful, except for one aspect.
By molding myself to the ideal characteristics of females I was identifying and clarifying my gender; however, there was one fault that I could only change how it was
perceived. Since my height conflicted with the ideal characteristics of a female, my
height was not valued highly. Instead, it was valued poorly and considered not a feminine aspect whatsoever. In the modeling and fashion world this outlook on height
was the opposite. The models in the media and magazines gave me the idea of what
I needed to look like in order to be considered feminine. A majority of the models
in magazines and on runways are tall and suggested to have a minimum height of
five foot seven inches. All of the models have no imperfections such as pimples or
even freckles. They are all noticeably thin and potentially underweight. They sport
the highest and most popular fashion because that is their job. These trademarks of
a model represent what society considers beautiful in a female and, therefore, the
definition of femininity. I thought to myself this was a group that was considered
feminine that I could classify myself with. In order to classify myself I could not just
look like a model, I needed to be a model.
After having physical features and values that conflicted with the gender group I
considered myself a part of, I learned that these miniscule differences made a big
difference in how society perceived me and, in turn, how I perceived myself. After
my bullying incident and the transition into my modeling career, my newly profound
obsession with my physical appearance changed my values. Before all of these events
I could care less about my appearance. Society, namely my female bullies, showed
me just how important physical appearance is in determining gender and identity.
I constantly nit-picked my every physical feature and became obsessed with how
others perceived my appearance. I flipped through magazines and took notes in my
head on how the models and celebrities looked in the pictures. If these females were
considered in and normal, I wanted to look just like them. Jean Kilbourne said,
[W]hats most important about women is how we look. My values shifted more
towards my outer essence than inner. Not only did I value my physical features but
I valued others physical features as well. I looked at other peoples appearance and
began to categorize them into masculine or feminine. In the end I was doing just
what society has taught me to do: I was judging a book by its cover. j
Work Cited
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Katie Brophy wrote this personal ethnography in Emi Griesss Expos I class.
I remember the sense of excitement I felt when I saw that big, white truck with an
orange stripe and the writing U-Haul on its side. And there beside it stood my
Uncle Tim. He had not changed one bit. His hair was still jet black, and he called
me over in his soft, inviting voice, which, until that moment, I had not realized how
much I had missed it. Katarina, he said. It was his pet name for me. I absolutely
could not wait now to get into the truck and start helping out my uncle. There is just
something about a huge truck that seems to open up endless possibilities when you
are young. I kept imagining what might be in it. As my uncle and dad opened the
truck and began unloading everything from it, I decided I wanted to help. My dad
began telling me things to grab and ways I could help out, and I quickly got to work.
I grabbed whatever my little body could hold. The dry, rough, dirty cardboard boxes
began scratching up my soft tender skin. But I didnt care about how hard it was, nor
did I mind the musty smell of the truck that was now masking the spring scent of
flower blossoms. In my mind, it was a lot of fun proving how grown up I was. The
fact that I was capable of helping my dad and uncle, two men whom I really looked
up to, was a new experience. By helping them unload the truck, I was proving to
myself that I was beginning to become strong and capable like them. It was so intoxicating that I started to get carried away. I began picking up boxes that were heavier
and heavier and heavier.
Right about then would probably have to be when my Great Aunt Mimi came out. I
will never forget that moment. She came out in the evening as the sun was setting.
It was the ending to what had to have been a perfect spring day. She was wearing
her favorite dress, blue and white plaid, and she was walking out with the support
of her old, beat up walker. But to be honest, I didnt even notice her at first. I was so
wrapped up in my unpacking that I didnt know what was going on around me. That
is, until her persistent waving caught my attention. There I was, standing up in the
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truck, with a box of miscellaneous items I had just picked up. She was right beside
the truck, not threatening or anything of that nature, just simply standing there, trying to capture my attention. Little did I know what she was about to tell me.
As I was standing in the truck holding the box, she yelled at me, Katie, honey, why
dont we leave the unpacking for the stronger men? At first I didnt think much about
it. I just simply replied, Its all right. I can get it! She wouldnt take that as an answer.
She said, Katie, you need to come in. After all, who is going to help me make some
lemonade for the men? I was shocked by her words. Lemonade? Are you serious?
Cant they make their own? My mind began to wander thinking about the lemonade.
I began to imagine the taste of a sweet tall glass. Almost immediately my mouth
began to salivate. After realizing what I was doing, I quickly snapped back to reality.
People have survived without lemonade, and if anyone wanted it so badly, they were
fully capable of making some. Why should I give up something fun to do something
so boring, like making their lemonade? I could see the slight look of disgust in her
face. Her disapproval now was obvious. She was not pleased to see me working like
my dad or uncle. I was even more upset and puzzled. I tried to understand why my
great aunt would ask me to stop helping. After all, I was older and supposed to be
taking on more responsibility.
After what seemed like forever, but probably really was only a few seconds, a light
bulb finally went off in my head. I had done nothing wrong. In fact, the problem was
that I was doing too much. I was a young girl trying to do a mans job, or at least thats
how my great aunt saw it. Looking back now, I cant remember a time where I felt
more distant from my great aunt. I felt out of place, like I didnt belong anywhere. She
was telling me I didnt belong working beside the men. However, I certainly knew I
did not belong inside making lemonade for two men who were perfectly capable of
making it themselves. My world had been flipped upside down. I was in charge of
who I was and nobody else! It wasnt until later that I realized how ones environment
could affect ones gender identity.
Analysis
To this day, my stomach still does a flip every time I think of what Great Aunt Mimi
said to me. Not only did she ruin my fun that day, but she opened up a whole new
aspect of society which I had never known. Before this moment, I had never really
comprehended that society had expectations related to ones gender. I was me. I was
young. Yes, I was a girl. However, I was still strong and capable. At least thats what I
had always previously believed. No one had ever told me before that who I was supposed to be and how I was supposed to act was determined by my gender. I realized
I was a part of society, and as a member of society, I needed to figure out where I
belonged. After thinking about it, I could not help but laugh at my great aunt telling me to leave the lifting for the stronger men and come make some lemonade.
She was caught up in an older, more traditional culture, and was not able to see that
times were clearly changing. Women were establishing their independence more
and more each day, changing expectations and surpassing limitations that society
had originally placed on them, leaving some women confused.
Looking back on it, of course, I was pretty torn apart when I was first informed of
these traditional gender expectations of society. These were quite different from
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the expectations which I was raised with. My dad and my Uncle Tim both wanted
me to help out and become independent, while my great aunt wanted the complete
opposite of me. It was like I was being torn between two very different extremes
with no middle ground. One side was telling me to be independent and break away
from old traditional ideas. The other was telling me to stick to traditional views, relying completely on men. I found that my dad and uncles expectations of women in
society conflicted with those of my great aunts. Rick Nauer describes this conflict in
his article, Media Influences Change in Female Roles, when he says, Women are
expected to be both more independent and ambitious and more socially connected
and nurturing. The fact is that today, the identity which women are expected to
fulfill in society is inconsistent and very diverse, depending upon ones environment.
For me, the idea that I was expected to do something because of my gender was a
new monumental idea.
I think this experience will always be remembered by me because it was a true epiphany. It ruined my day, yes, but it opened my eyes. I finally had to face reality. I had
entered a new time in my life where not only was everything I thought and believed
important, but so was everything else that went on around me. I realized that there
was a lot more to life than I originally thought. Yes, it was important to be yourself
and who you are, but it was also important to succeed in life. And in order to succeed
in life, it was necessary to become a part of society, find your place in it, and face the
expectations. It didnt mean you had to accept these expectations or live by them in
any way. It meant you had to at least understand they were there.
While I was listening to my great aunt talk, I learned a lot. I learned that I would
and could never fully fit into a society where I was expected to be dependent upon
men. I began realizing how lucky I was to have grown up in an environment and
day and age where womens expectations were centered on independence. In the
past it was not always this way. In fact, the movement towards womens independence really did not pick up until recently. According to writer Cynthia Harrisons
article, The Changing Role of Women in American Society, women began establishing their independence in 1920, when the Nineteenth Amendment was added to
the U.S. Constitution (10). She goes on to explain the evolution of womens roles in
society since the 1920s, saying, The change in womens status in the decades since
World War II has been dramatic. The right of a married woman to work outside the
home is no longer in question, especially because most families with two parents
depend on a second income (12). Harrisons article proves that times are changing, along with womens roles in society. Not only were womens roles changing in
the 1920s, but they are still evolving even today. My experience validated this fact. I
realized that in todays society women were still seen to be weak and defenseless at
times, although these expectations were changing. Thinking about the women in my
own life whom I admired, specifically my mom, I realized that I did not have to be
this way. Even if society was telling me to act needy and defenseless, I did not have to
agree or live by it. I learned that a woman could still be a part of society today, even
if she was not the stereotypical woman who followed gender expectations from the
past. Even if there were these expectations, she could still be true to herself.
I am thankful for this experience. It was upsetting, but I believe it made me into
the person I am today. I take pride in my abilities and would rather work by myself.
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I accept help when I need it, but I challenge myself to be as independent as I can.
I took what my great aunt claimed was my identity in society, considered it, and
then created my own new gender identity. I learned that even though society places
expectations on its members, you can still choose who you want to be. No one can
force you. I saw that I was very fortunate to be where I am today, in a society which
accepts the changing identity and roles of women. The truth is that we need society
to survive. By creating societies, we have created certain identities, or generalizations, as to how people should fit in. Everybody is a part of society, and by being
a part of society we are affected by the expectations which it places upon us. It is
our duty to ourselves, as individuals, to choose to accept or form our own identity.
Even though society affects who we are, it cannot determine our whole identity. We
decide that for ourselves. j
Works Cited
Harrison, Cynthia. The Changing Role of Women in American Society. U.S. Society
& Values. June 1997: 1012. Print.
Nauert, Rick. Media Influences Change in Female Roles. 4 April 2011. PsychCentral.com. Web. 19 April 2011.
Dean Bergmeier wrote this personal ethnography in Abby Knoblauchs Expos I class.
I was working full-time for my unit in Topeka when I learned that a unit within the
same building, the 1908th Medical Detachment (CSC), was preparing to deploy later
that year. I thus engaged in a campaign to pester the detachment sergeant of that unit
until I found a slot to go along. It took several weeks of incessant questioning before I
was eventually told of a slot that had opened up and I was welcomed to transfer into
it. After that I called in some favors and pleaded with my chain of command to forget
their personnel numbers for a year and let me get some experience on true active
duty, and do it overseas as well. Eventually the papers were signed, I was transferred,
and my 09-10 deployment process began.
The first thing on the To-Do list was whats called SRP or Soldier Readiness Processing at Ft. Hood. It was during this event that my units cohesion, resolve, and
durability would be tested in ways that none of us could have imagined. We began
SRP early on the morning of November 5, 2009. Much was as we expected when we
215
arrived. We were greeted by a civilian coordinator who chauffeured us into a classroom for an hour or so worth of mandatory briefings, then we were directed to begin
the SRP process in different groups. After completing the stations within the main
dome building, I headed over to the medical building to finish out my days tasks.
By the time I made it to the end of the building to receive my smallpox vaccination,
it was sometime around 1:30 (or 1330 hrs military time). The doctor asked me a few
questions, stuck my arm about ten times with a small, infected needle, placed a bandage on my arm, told me not to be an idiot, and told me to go to the front and have a
seat. As I turned to grab my bag, all hell broke loose.
Yelling and gunshots erupted from the front of the building. I could see smoke rising to the ceiling near the door I had walked in. In disbelief I ran several scenarios
through my head as to what exactly was occurring. The number of shots being fired
gave me the impression that it could be a terrorist attack simulation (I was on Ft.
Hood during mobilization, and I had no idea how coordinated the training environment would be). I yelled across the building, still standing straight up and able to see
over the top edge of the cubicle walls, Is this a fucking test? to which I received the
reply, No, its not a fucking test! Hes fucking shooting people! I cant be sure to the
rate of fire but it seemed to be in the range of 12 shots a second nearly continuously, very monotonously, measured.
At this point I figured I had two choices, either cower in the back with the huddled
masses of nurses and soldiers with the hopes that whoever was shooting wouldnt
eventually make his or her way to the back and begin shooting the then trapped individuals, or I could move forward, towards the gunfire and attempt to get around the
shooter. As I began to creep forward toward the lateral break in the cubicle walls, I
saw SGT Winston, a friend from the unit creep along the southern wall toward the
back of the building. I also saw a SSG Bai from the 467th completely prostrate on the
ground, halfway in the aisle and halfway in the area with me, get up and run for the
southern door. It was when I looked down at him that I saw the first drops of blood
on the floor, likely tracked by his clothing or boots. It wasnt until I saw the blood that
the situation became real.
Throughout the shooting, I could hear people moaning; a pregnant woman was
repeating, My baby, somebody please save my baby; others were silent. I looked
into the hallway between the two main sections, and subsequently into the open
space where the waiting area with chairs had been. Directly in front of me, lying on
the ground was a large black sergeant. He was trying to remain still but was apparently disturbed by the copious amounts of blood he was lying in. The scene was
macabre and tragic; bodies crawled and writhed; some lay still. As I was peering
around the corner, I watched as a young soldier took a bullet either to his head or
neck as his hand shot up to the receiving area and blood spattered everywhere as he
screamed, Theres so much blood! I immediately recoiled from this vision of hell
and took cover once more behind a cubicle wall, cutting off my sight from the grotesque reality I had just faced.
I was struck with a longing, a longing for action. I wasnt alone in this; every time
the shooter stopped to reload his weapon, the building tensed with anticipation and
216
desire to move, but then the shooting would restart and we were once again helpless in the face of overwhelming force. I decided my best bet was to get around the
shooter and act from there.
The shooter had been traversing the northern half of the building, back and forth
between the waiting area and the hallway. He had not ventured to the far southern
edge to shoot down the corridor in which I, and many others at the end of the building behind a desk, sought refuge. This state did not last for long, however, as he
began to strafe further and further each time. I made the decision to move forward
up the middle aisle just before he appeared around the corner. I stepped past the now
motionless sergeant, over a toppled cubicle partition, past several unmoving bodies
and out the northern door. I then ran across the access road and began requesting a
phone from two of the onlookers who appeared to be in shock and/or disbelief.
The rest of the story played out as it did. I never again saw the shooter. I fled to the
interior of the sports dome when the shots began ringing from outside the medical SRP building. From that point on, I did my best to contribute to the care of the
wounded and calming of the civilian workers. One saving grace of being in a medical unit was that our medics sprang into action, saving as many as a dozen lives that
would have otherwise been in question.
Analysis
America is an interesting place to grow up in especially in an age of alternate cultures, shifting values, and declining religious faith. Oftentimes our cultural values
shift far slower than modern humanists would like us to believe. Tradition dies hard,
harder if its deeply instituted within a society. This is easily seen in our culture with
the pervasive influence of action movies and action movie heroes within the male
culture. Movies and the media in America love to focus on heroes. Recent examples
are Frank Millers 300, Avatar, Thor, etc. and some more classic examples include
anything with Bruce Willis, Clint Eastwood, and even further back, John Wayne.
These movies and iconic characters have formed the foundation on which America
has built its conception of the heroic ideal.
Manliness in the United States has many definitions, depending on what subculture
you ask. It seems though that regardless of progressive ideas about gender equality
and a desire to upend established gender norms, traditional conceptions of manliness pervade the mindsets of Americans. Mainstream movies, music, and literature
still portray the main character as a hero of some sort. Even when the main character
is a female, she tends to exhibit traditionally manly features such as strength, aggression, and outspokenness. My point is that given my childhood within this culture, I
grew up with a fairly clear idea of what it meant to be a man and what was expected
of me once I achieved that status.
I found that Im not the only one who has questioned his own manliness and courage in the face of senseless violence. Vietnam veteran Michael Bernhardt related his
story of confusion and self-doubt in Susan Faludis Newsweek article, The Dogs of
War. After playing witness and eventually whistle-blower to the Mai Lai massacre
in Vietnam, he found himself wondering if what he had done was the right thing.
By exposing the brutal conduct of fellow U.S. soldiers, he felt that he had violated a
217
code of manliness, for he says that in Vietnam, If you showed any sign of caring, it
was seen as a sign of weakness. If you were the least bit concerned about the civilians, you were considered pathetic, definitely not a man (Faludi). In my case, none
of these sentiments were actively voiced, but they manifested themselves within my
conscience nonetheless.
As an example of this heroic ideal and its connection to masculinity, I often cite
the first Die Hard movie starring Bruce Willis. In the movie John McClane flies to
where his wife and daughter have moved to see them for Christmas and ends up
foiling a terrorist plot to steal money from a major corporation. The heroic ideal
seems to revolve around the ability to overcome any adversity that one is faced with,
no matter the risks. This is only one example among a slew of American media that
saturates cable television and the box office. Masculinity is thus influenced by these
fictionally heroic characters.
Throughout my formative years and into early adulthood, I preferred an image of
myself that said I would stand up for justice and protect those weaker than me if
ever given the chance. This altruistic vision of myself was something I thought of as
innate, but unproven. I thought that surely given a situation where my life was on the
line I would choose to protect others over myself, that I would be John McClane and
take control of the situation by saving the day.
This assumption on my part was put into perspective on the 5th of November, 2009.
I had made some pretty ballsy moves by advancing instead of retreating from the
threat. Once the dust had settled that day, the full realization of my accomplishment
dawned upon me, and self-loathing set in. I comprehended that by my relocation
I had placed myself in a position relatively behind the shooter and in a position to
intervene. Instead of heroically confronting the shooter, possibly from an equalizing
position, I turned right instead and fled seeking the heroism of someone else.
Ive been told by many who were there, and more who werent, that I did the right
thing and that Ive got nothing to be ashamed of. This doesnt bear much weight
even given the knowledge that I was seeking help. Even my efforts in helping with
first aid measures inside the sports dome, even with consoling multiple individuals civilians and soldiers alike, even with the reassurance of so many that I was not
wrong in my decision, my conception of myself was completely at odds with the
evidence presented that day. Cognitive dissonance was tearing me apart inside. Over
the course of the last two years Ive had to grapple with the fact that I turned away
from direct intervention in a horrible massacre that, regardless of the probability of
success, could have saved others lives that day.
Redefining hero was one of my options. Reevaluating what it means to be a man,
what it means to stand for something is included in that. I could have concluded that
the heroic ideal set forth in literature and story dating back to Achilles in Homers
Illiad was simply a fantasy perpetuated by those who wished to romanticize the horrors of battle and war. Or I could accept the heroic ideal as I learned it and then deal
with the consequences. Namely that I had forsaken the ideal and thus my masculinity, I would have to contend with the possibility that I was and am a coward.
218
There were probably other options that I neglected to consider, it was on these two
options that I focused my internal reflection. If I chose the first option and rejected
the long-established tradition of masculinity in the heroic ideal, I would have to find
or create a new form to model myself upon. I found this choice to be as cowardly as
the act that instigated the consideration. A turning away from responsibility. This
was an unacceptable option. I would have to choose option two.
I did not come to this decision lightly. Much drinking and self-doubt and anathema
were had before I began to accept myself again without hatred and self-loathing. I
wont say that Im sentimentally attached to a classic vision of what it means to be
a man, or a hero. I will say that as a human being it would be foolish of me to stray
too far from the beaten path when it comes to patterns of behavior. The heroic ideal
has existed in one form or another throughout the history of Western Europe, a land
from which I draw my genetic and cultural heritage.
Although I chose to retain a model of the heroic ideal for myself and my conception
of masculinity, I could not leave it unaltered. I decided that folktales, myths, legends,
and popular culture were all romanticized and unrealistic forms of an ideal of masculinity. These sources were useful as loose recommendations for what to aim at as a
man, but they were not to be taken literally as blueprints for action.
My alterations did not forgive my transgression, however, and something had to be
done to alleviate the guilt and remorse I felt for my choices on that loathsome day.
Thus I have resolved that no matter the danger or situation, Ill never again turn my
back and run in a situation where theres even the slightest chance of me making
a difference. November 5, 2009 was the day the protagonist, the hero of my personal narrative died, and was reborn. Heroes traditionally have always had flaws and
defects; Ive had to face mine. I just hope that when the time comes Ill recognize
them once more and make a more fitting decision. I hope this not just for myself and
my ego, but for anyone whose well-being I have the chance to preserve. j
Work Cited
Faludi, Susan. The Dogs of War. Newsweek 13 Sept. 1999. ProQuest. Web. 12 Dec.
2011.
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CHAPTER 7
Reflection
Assignment Guidelines
This assignment asks you to reflect on your progress this semester as a writer, student,
and researcher of questions about communities and identities. Your essay will demonstrate to a specific audience how you have met, surpassed, or struggled with the objectives for this course. Make sure that you identify and develop a main point (or points)
about yourself. How do you want to characterize your progress as a writer to your readers? Also, keep in mind that the focus should be on you and your engagement with the
course rather than on an evaluation of the instructor, which youll have an opportunity to
do before the end of the semester.
This assignment allows you flexibility in choosing an audience and format for your essay.
You will use what you have learned about writing to help your chosen audience understand how you have progressed in this course. Make sure that your reflection has a purpose: you should have a motivation to write your reflectionand your readers should
have a motivation to read it.
To complete this assignment, follow the steps below.
1. Take a look at the course objectives at the beginning of this book and reflect on
your progress this semester. The following questions should help you to take stock of
where you started and where you have arrived:
What course objectives have you met? To what degree have you fulfilled them?
What objectives do you feel you are struggling with? Why do you think you are
having a difficult time with them?
Did you have any preconceptions when you first entered the class? Have these
changed at all during this semester? What aspects of the course have you found
surprising?
What have you learned about yourself as a writer, student, learner, researcher,
and thinker?
What are some topics discussed in class that you found interesting?
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CHAPTER 7 Reflection
How has your writing and your thinking about the ideas discussed in class
changed over the semester?
How has your process of writing changed (finding ideas, drafting, revising)?
What essays, videos, or other class materials did you find most interesting or
react to most strongly? Why?
2. Complete the worksheets included in this chapter. What inferences can you make?
3. Choose an audience that you think would be interested in what you have to say about
your experience in the course. State your audience somewhere on your assignment.
Think about why this audience would be interested in reading about your experiences. Additionally, think about your own writing purpose: what is your purpose in
writing this reflection?
4. Choose a format that would be appropriate for your audience. You might consider
using one of the writing formats you have already used this semester, like a memo,
or you might consider using a new format, like a letter. This is a chance for you to be
creative. Whatever format you choose, make sure the organization is logical.
5. Make sure that you have a main point that connects to you as a writer and student
even though your thesis might not be explicitly stated.
6. Use specific examples from your own work (including descriptions of how you
wrote the assignments or brief direct quotations) as well as information from the
textbook.
7. Include explanation, making it clear how your examples support your stated points.
Objectives
By the end of this assignment, you should be able to do the following:
222
Rationale
In your professional life, youll discover that youll need to evaluate your own performance. These are work-related writing responsibilities, oftentimes called yearly reviews
or self evaluations, in which you are asked to make general claims about your job effectiveness and then find specific examples to support these claims you are making about
yourself. Moreover, reflection as a learning strategy has been determined to be a powerful way to enhance learning. Once you figure out who you are as a learner and how best
you learn, then you can become more in control over what you are learning and why you
are doing what you are doing.
CHAPTER 7 Reflection
Worksheet #1
Considering your
writing, what went
well?
Considering your
writing, what did you
struggle with?
Considering the
issues covered, what
did you learn?
Paper
One
Paper
Two
Paper
Three
7
Paper
Four
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CHAPTER 7 Reflection
Worksheet #2
Ideas/
Concepts
Privilege
Gender
Class
7
Race and
Ethnicity
224
Original Impressions
Most Memorable
Essays/Films
Most Memorable
Discussions/Activities
Current Insights
Workshop guide
Writer
Date
Reader
Reflection
1. Has the writer identified a specific audience? If so, list the audience. If not, suggest a
possible audience.
2. Does the writer indicate how and to what degree they fulfilled (or surpassed? or
didnt quite meet?) the course objectives listed at the beginning of the book?
3. What is the writers main point? Overall, what does he/she say about himself or herself as a writer, student, learner, and thinker?
225
CHAPTER 7 Reflection
4. Are there specific examples and details (from the writers previous work or from
students experience) that help support the writers points? If not, mark areas with an
X where the writer could use more detail. In the margins, offer ideas for how the
writer could provide more details and examples.
5. Does the writer offer adequate explanation for his or her points? Does the writer
offer explanation of how the examples support the points? If not, mark the areas that
do not have adequate explanation with MORE. Write questions in the margins that
will help the writer to expand her or his explanations.
6. List two things the writer does especially well in the reflection. (Keep in mind that all
papers have redeeming qualities!)
226
7. List two things that could be improved in the reflection. (Keep in mind that all papers
have room for improvement!)
RUBRIC
Writer
Date
Reflection
When handing in this paper, make sure to include the following:
Revise carefully, particularly since you have a limited amount of time for revision.
Criteria
Unacceptable
(No Pass)
Acceptable
(Low Pass)
Average/
Above Average
(Pass)
Excellent
(High Pass)
Focuses on the writers progress and experience as both a writer and critical thinker.
(focus and purpose)
Includes specific examples to help support
the main points. (development)
Includes explanations of how the examples
illustrate the main points. (development)
Organizes the information effectively.
(organization)
Communicates effectively to its intended
audience. (focus and purpose; tone and style)
Effectively uses an appropriate format for its
purpose and audience. (focus and purpose;
organization)
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CHAPTER 7 Reflection
Notes:
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CHAPTER 8
Handbook
Writers Notes
One strategy you can use in your writing process is to reflect on what you have written.
Making Writers Notes after you have finished writing a paper can help you to think
about how you got to this stage of the writing process, what you might have done differently, and what you feel youve done well in writing the paper. You should answer the
questions on the Writers Notes form before handing in a draft of your paper to be
graded.
1. Considering the writing of this paper, what went well? Why?
2. Considering the writing of this paper, what did you struggle with? Why?
3. Considering the issues we explored in this unit, what did you struggle with? Why?
8
4. Considering both the issues we explored in this unit and the writing of this paper,
how could you use what youve learned?
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CHAPTER 8 Handbook
2. The above are just some of the things Ive done well on this paper. How can I best
repeat my successes?
3. List the main points of my teachers revision advice in the spaces below (again, summarize, striving for accuracy as you do so).
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CHAPTER 8 Handbook
4. The above are the problems that my teacher found most noticeable. How can I best
avoid repeating such problems as I re-envision my topic?
Revision Plan Portion (Attach a separate sheet if you need more space.)
My revision plans, based on the response sheet and margin comments that make the
most sense to me, as well as my own careful rereading of my essay are outlined below:
(See the suggestions on the next page.)
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CHAPTER 8 Handbook
Do I make a clear point, whether stated or implied? What is my main point for this
essay, or for a particular section of my paper? Do I relate my entire essay to my main
point in some way (by references, transitions, inferences, etc.)?
Development
Where do I need concrete examples to make my paper clearer? Where would illustrations help my audience understand a subpoint? Where do I need specific details
to clarify abstract claims or explanations?
Tone/Audience
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CHAPTER 8 Handbook
I introduce this color coded chart to demonstrate to novice writers a way to develop
their essay. Many paragraphs have at least one sentence for each of the three categories: exposition, example, and explanation. Of course, experienced writers will
produce paragraphs which (when analyzed and highlighted) display much more
complicated color schemes: sentences that are green and purple as the colors blend
together. Students can strive to achieve this more complex style, but for most beginning writers, Im quite satisfied with style reflected by the three basic colors. The
most developed paragraphs, when analyzed and highlighted, are mostly blue.
These terms do not need to appear sequentially; in fact, some paragraphs may
lead with an example. Other paragraphs may not include explicit exposition. Some
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CHAPTER 8 Handbook
paragraphs are primarily transitional, so they may not have all either exposition,
examples, or explanation. No one-size-fits-all rule exists for paragraph development.
Use these terms as a strategynot as a stencil. j
Example: This answer stresses the idea of maintaining what the woman considers to be a
positive physical appearance.
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236
Most essays employ both open- and closed-form features. For example, in open form
writing, a writer may still occasionally be explicit about a central point. Also, in closed
form writing, a writer may include some personal examples and detailed descriptions.
Also, not every paragraph in a closed form essay has to be presenting a point. For example, some paragraphs may be transitional. Also, writers using both kinds of organizational
structures may use a short paragraph to get readers attention in order to emphasize an
important idea or detail.
CHAPTER 8 Handbook
The chart below gives you a number of criteria to consider when determining the most
suitable organization for a writing task. The boxes are checked based on the most suitable
form for each consideration. Each rhetorical situation will have a variety of constraints
to consider, so it is helpful to practice making your own choices about each writing tasks
organization.
Criteria
Open Form
To your target audience, the factual information provided in your essay is more important than your personal
opinion on a subject.
Your readers are likely to enjoy (and perhaps be influenced by) an individual approach to a subject.
Closed Form
Activity
In terms of a writing tasks rhetorical situation, what other criteria might be important to
consider in determining whether to adopt closed or open form?
8
The writers of this textbook have given you practice in both open and closed forms. Now
that youre familiar with the list of criteria above, you should be able to understand the
choices they made. Remember, though, that your best organizational strategy depends
on your individual rhetorical situation.
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CHAPTER 8 Handbook
Activity
This textbooks assignments ask you to use the following formats:
Open Form
Closed Form
Personal Ethnography
Informative Report
Gender Analysis
Analytical Profile
Reflection
Invitational Writing
Consulting the chart above, describe a hypothetical scenario when it might be better to choose open form for the informative report or closed form for the personal
ethnography.
Subject
Reader
Writer
Hayden-McNeil, LLC
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CHAPTER 8 Handbook
Writers have agreed to follow these practices because they have proven to be so
effective.
As an analogy, think of the traffic signs that govern the rules of the road. When you
see a red blinking light or an octagonally shaped red sign, you bring your vehicle to a
full stop; when you see a blinking yellow light, you proceed with caution. These traffic rules help make driving safe and efficient. But theres no reason why a red blinking
light signifies a complete stop; it well could have been any other color. The caution
light, too, could very well have been another color. The important fact to remember
is that drivers have agreed to follow these signals and to do certain things when they
come upon them. The same is true with punctuation marks: writers have agreed that
certain marks will signify specific things in written communication.
The rules of punctuation are not static; they have changed throughout the years and
will continue to change. What once might have been considered improper punctuation may now be considered correct. The rules of punctuation are created and maintained by writers to help make their prose more effective, and their exact meaning
changes over time, just as traffic rules evolve with time. (For example, in many states
it is now acceptable to make a right turn at a red light if no oncoming vehicles are in
sight.) At any point in time, a particular punctuation mark means what writers agree
it means; as consensus shifts, so will its meaning.
If you approach punctuation with this understanding of its origin and flexibility, you
will not be intimidated by the conventions of punctuation.
In Punctuation Made Simple, we discuss several of the most useful punctuation
marks that you will use as a communicator. Instead of listing many rules, as a grammar
book does, we discuss these various marks in general so that you can get a sense of how
to use them in your own prose. Of course, every communicator should own and use a
grammar handbook as a reference tool. You will still want to refer to such a book when
you come upon a particularly difficult punctuation problem. Here, however, we are
most concerned with helping you develop a feel for the way punctuation works.
The Colon
You might be surprised to learn that the colon is one of the most helpful and easiest
to use of all the punctuation marks. You dont need to remember six or seven rules to
understand how a colon works. In prose, a colon really does only one thing: it introduces. It can introduce just about anything: a word, a phrase, a sentence, a quotation,
or a list. Youll notice that weve used colons in the two preceding sentences to introduce a sentence, in the first case, and a list, in the second case. This is how simple the
colon is. Lets look at some other examples:
We have used a colon in these four sentences to introduce various kinds of things: a
word, a phrase, a sentence, and a list. You can use a colon in your prose in any place
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where you must directly introduce something. A colon gives special emphasis to
whatever youre introducing because readers must first come to a stop, and so they
pay more attention to it. For example, lets say you are writing a letter describing a
product, and you want to emphasize above all that this product, the Jacobsen lawn
mower, is reliable. You could very well write:
The Jacobsen lawn mower beats its competitors especially in the key area of
reliability.
While this sentence gets the point across, it doesnt place much emphasis on reliability. A sentence using a colon is much more emphatic:
e Jacobsen lawn mower beats its competitors especially in one key area:
Th
reliability.
Notice that the second example places clear emphasis on the point that the writer is
trying to communicate to his or her reader: that the Jacobsen lawn mower is above
all reliable. The writer of this sentence has used the colon effectively.
Perhaps the most common way to use a colon is to introduce a list of items, as in this
sentence:
is report reviews five main criteria to determine whether to purchase the IBM
Th
PC: hardware, software, maintenance agreements, service, and customer support.
If you arent sure whether you need a colon in a particular sentence, here is a handy
test: read the sentence, and when you reach the colon, substitute the word namely; if
the sentence reads through smoothly, then theres a good chance that you do need a
colon. For example, you can read any of the example sentences above with the word
namely in the place of the colon:
Joe has only one thing on his mind [namely] profit.
Joe has only one thing on his mind [namely] his stock portfolio.
Joe has only one thing on his mind [namely] he wants to get rich.
Joe has three things on his mind [namely] stocks, bonds, and certificates of
deposit.
This test may not work 100 percent of the time, but it is a fairly reliable indicator of
whether you need a colon.
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One word of caution: do not place the colon after the verb in a sentence, even when
you are introducing something, because the verb itself introduces and the colon
would be redundant. For example, you would not write:
The colon is not necessary in the sentence above because the verb does the work
of introducing the three friends. You can check this sentence by using the test we
just mentioned. It would seem awkward to read this sentence, My three favorite
friends are, namely, Evelyn, Marlyne, and Ronni. The fact that the sentence is awkward when you read it with namely is an indication that the colon is unnecessary.
Remember, the colon shows emphasis and, therefore, you want the reader to stop at
the colon before proceeding on to whatever it is you are introducing.
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The Semicolon
The semicolon is another important tool you can use when you write. There are two
ways to use this punctuation mark: as a connector between two sentences and as a
supercomma.
1. To Connect Two Sentences
The semicolon is most often used to connect two sentences. Obviously, the sentences
ought to be relatively close in content, but other than that you can connect any two
sentences with a semicolon.
The diagram below may help you remember this usage:
SENTENCE ; SENTENCE
As a communicator, you are always putting together complex items in your prose
and showing how they relate to one another. A semicolon is an economical way to
join two sentences, and therefore two ideas, so that your reader sees the relationship.
For example, you may write any of the following sentences:
Jim is a good typist; he makes few mistakes.
The AFC Corporation is an excellent company to invest in; its investments have
risen sharply and steadily over each of the last ten years.
Ms. Sanchez is a successful real estate salesperson; however, she was unable to
sell her own house.
Each of the three examples above contains two sentences glued together by a semicolon. The second part of each sentence makes a comment on the first. Certainly,
each sentence could be written as two sentences, but you wouldnt be expressing
the close relationship between the two parts that you do when you use a semicolon.
With two separate sentences, the reader must stop at the period of the first sentence
and then begin to read the second; with two sentences connected by a semicolon, the
reader does not come to a full stop and, therefore, the relationship seems that much
closer. Also, this type of sentence allows you to express your ideas economically.
The important point to remember is that you must have a complete sentence on
both sides of the semicolon. If your second sentence begins with a conjunction (and,
but, or, etc.), you do not need a semicolon because the conjunction and the comma
that usually goes with it are equivalent to a semicolon. Instead, combine two full sentences with the semicolon.
Sometimes a sentence may begin with words like however, therefore, and nevertheless. If your second sentence begins with one of these words, and if it is indeed a full
sentence, you still must use a semicolon to connect the two. The sentence about Ms.
Sanchez illustrates this use.
A word of caution: never glue two sentences together with only a comma. Grammarians call this sentence error a comma splice. Here is an example of two sentences
connected with only a comma:
The banking community became quite upset at the rise in the prime rate, bankers felt that they would ultimately lose a considerable amount of money.
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A comma splice is considered ungrammatical because the reader begins reading the
second sentence before realizing that the first sentence is completed. Readers are
used to stopping at the end of a sentence, and they become disoriented when they
find that they have unknowingly left one sentence and entered a new one. This is
why effective writers avoid the comma splice. Here are two additional examples of
comma splices:
Ms. Linccini is a fine worker, she meets all her deadlines.
Our sales have increased by twenty percent, our inventory has been reduced by
thirty percent.
Each of the examples above constitutes two sentences glued together with a
comma. You can correct a comma splice by inserting a semicolon between the
two sentences, by adding a comma to your conjunction, or, of course, by punctuating them as two sentences. Whichever way you choose, however, you must
make sure your final drafts do not contain comma splices.
There is one instance in which a comma splice is considered acceptable. Occasionally, you may have a list of items that could stand alone as full sentences. You may use
commas to attach these items so long as it is clear to the reader that this is a list of
relatively equal items. Here is an example:
I opened the safe door, I took out the money pouch, and I concealed it in my desk
drawer.
The example above shows a list of three items and illustrates a step-by-step process.
Even though the items all constitute full sentences, it is acceptable to use commas
to attach them but only because they are members of a larger list. If you are unsure
about using commas to connect sentences in a list, perhaps it is best to rewrite the
sentence. Do, however, stay alert for any two sentences in your prose that are connected by only a comma.
Related to the comma splice is the run-on sentence. Run-on sentences, often
called fused sentences, are two sentences punctuated as if they were one. In
other words, a run-on is a comma splice without the commatwo sentences
smashed together with no punctuation between them. Here are two sample
run-ons:
Chu Lie is the foreman Joseph Garcia is the line boss.
I knew that the new personnel policy would cause problems the union is reacting
quite vehemently.
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As you can see, each of the two samples above is composed of two sentences. The
writer should have connected the sentences with a semicolon or punctuated them
as separate sentences. Again, you dont have to worry about such matters until the
proofreading stage, but you must make sure your final draft doesnt contain run-on
sentences.
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2. As Supercomma
As you know, you normally separate the members of a list with commas, as in this
sentence:
The commas let the reader know where one item ends and the next begins. Sometimes, however, you have a list of complex items and one (or more) of the items
already contains a comma. In such a case, the reader is likely to get confused about
what is really a member of the list and what is not. You can avoid this confusion by
making the semicolon a sort of supercomma. Look at the following sentence to see
how the supercomma works:
Suncom Corporation has subsidiaries in four cities: New York, New York, Wilmington, Ohio, Houston, Texas, and San Francisco, California.
This sentence contains so many commas, both between the members of the list and
within them, that readers are likely to become confused. Instead, you can make the
semicolon a supercomma between each of the members so that your meaning is
clear:
Suncom Corporation has subsidiaries in four cities: New York, New York; Wilmington, Ohio; Houston, Texas; and San Francisco, California.
The second sentence is clearer than the first because the reader knows exactly where
members of the list begin and end. You probably will not need to use a semicolon as a supercomma often, but if your sentence contains a list of items, one (or
more) of which already contains a comma, you can clarify your meaning by using the
supercomma.
The Comma
The comma tells the reader to pause, just as the blinking yellow light tells a driver
to slow down and proceed with caution. Some writers can tell where a comma is
needed by reading their prose aloud and inserting a comma where there seems to
be a clear pause in the sentence. This may work much of the time if you read the
sentence carefully and accurately. However, this procedure is not the most precise
way to approach comma usage. Below are four general ways to use commas with a
reasonable degree of certainty.
1. Between Items in a Series
When you are listing three or more items in a sentence, simply place a comma
between each member of the list. Here are two examples:
Mr. Sanchez used the money that he won from the sweepstakes to buy a house, a
car, and a small yacht.
We will purchase the stock if the price is lowered to $30 per share, if we are
allowed to buy a block of over 10,000 shares, and if we receive a guarantee that
no new shares will be created in the next fiscal year.
The commas above clearly mark where one member of the list leaves off and the
next one begins. There is no mystery in how to use the comma in these kinds of
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sentences. What is often unclear, however, is whether to include the comma between
the last and second-to-last items in a list. In the past, it was considered improper to
omit the final comma in a series, but modern writers believe that the conjunction
(and, but, or) does the same thing as a comma: it marks the place between two items
in the set. These writers have argued that a sentence is more economical without an
unneeded comma. As a result, you now have the option to choose whether to include
the final comma.
Nevertheless, many people still follow the old rule and expect to see the final comma.
Also, if your list is rather complex, omitting the comma may confuse the reader about
where the second-to-last item leaves off and the last begins. In this case, of course,
you would want to include the comma in order to avoid confusion. Perhaps it is best
to get into the habit of always using the comma between the last two items in order to
avoid all controversy. You do, however, have the option to omit it.
2. Between Two Sentences
Youll remember that a semicolon is used to connect two sentences. However, more
often we glue two sentences together with a comma and conjunction (such as and
or but). In fact, if you examine a document you have written recently, you are likely
to find many such sentences; theyre so common that you dont even realize you
are writing them. When you do put two sentences together with a conjunction, you
must also include a comma. That is, the conjunction and comma are equivalent to a
semicolon when youre connecting sentences. Here are three examples:
The Suncom Corporation has just acquired the OILCO company, and it has
agreed to sell OILCOs oil-drilling rights in Texas as soon as possible.
I knew that the price of IBM stock would increase after it entered the home computer market, but I had no idea that the price would skyrocket.
I first conducted a thorough audit of the company, and I then interviewed the
manager to try to determine how much money was missing.
Each sentence above is made up of two sentences glued together with a comma and
conjunction. For example, the first sentence is made up of the following:
The Suncom Corporation has just acquired the OILCO company.
It has agreed to sell OILCOs oil-drilling rights in Texas as soon as possible.
All you need remember is this: when youre connecting two sentences with a conjunction, you must also include a comma because the conjunction and comma work
together as a team. Perhaps this diagram will help you remember:
Often you may use a conjunction but not have a complete sentence on both sides of
it. In this case you do not need a comma. For example, you could easily rewrite the
above sentences so that one part of each sentence is not a full sentence:
The Suncom Corporation has just acquired the OILCO company and has agreed
to sell OILCOs oil-drilling rights in Texas as soon as possible.
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I knew the price of IBM stock would increase after it entered the home computer
market but had no idea that the price would skyrocket.
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I first conducted a thorough audit of the company and then interviewed the
manager to try to determine how much money was missing.
Because in the above examples you do not have full sentences on both sites of the
conjunction, theres no need to include a comma.
One last bit of advice: if your sentence is very short (perhaps 5 to 10 words), you do
have the option of omitting the comma if you wish. You have this option because
your reader can usually understand a short sentence more readily than a long one,
and therefore you would not need a comma for readability. Here is an example:
Mr. Santana is old and he is wise.
This sentence is so short that you may omit the comma. Remember, punctuation is
meant to help the writer and the reader, not to make their jobs more difficult. Thats
why you may opt to omit the comma between these two short sentences.
3. To Attach Words to the Front or Back of Your Sentence
Most of the sentences we compose really consist of a short core sentence with many
details added to that core sentence. Frequently, we add information to sentences by
attaching one or more words to the front or back of the core sentence. You dont
need to memorize seven or eight rules naming each of the different structures you
can add to your sentence. Instead, remember that when you add information to the
front or back of a sentence, you will want to alert your readers in order to help them
clearly understand your message. Here are four examples:
Certainly, Joan is a successful salesperson.
Although she flunked chemistry and barely passed math, Joan is a good student.
In order to help save the company from bankruptcy, we sold shares in the company at discount prices.
Joan is a good student, although she flunked chemistry and barely passed math.
If you examine the sentences above, you will see where the writer has attached words
to the front or back of each core sentence. Even when you add one word, such as
certainly in the first example, you want your reader to know where the real sentence
begins. This is why you place the comma there. If you read the sentences carefully,
youll also notice a natural pause where the comma is situated.
4. On Both Sides of a Nonessential Component
The three uses of the comma just discussed are quite easy. You should be able to tell
when those commas are needed or not. When you are proofreading your own prose,
it will be clear to you whether you have a list of items or not, whether youre attaching two sentences with a conjunction or not, and whether you are tacking words
onto the front or back of your sentence or not. The fourth use of the comma, however, is a little more complex because you must make a judgment call. Nevertheless,
even this fourth way to use a comma is relatively simple.
Often, you will insert a group of words into the middle of a sentence. Sometimes
this group of words will need to be set off by commas from the rest of the sentence,
and sometimes you will not need commas. In order to tell whether you need commas, you must make a judgment about whether the added words are essential to
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the meaning of the sentence or whether they simply provide extra detail. Lets use
an analogy to illustrate this concept. The modern stereo system is what we call a
component system in that it is made up of many different components: an amplifier,
receiver, CD player, tape deck, and various speakers. With most stereo systems, you
have the option of removing certain components and adding new ones. For example,
you may decide to unplug your tape deck but retain the CD player. The various components are optional or nonessential to the system itself. Similarly, you often add or
delete components from your sentences. If a component (a group of words in this
case) is added to a sentence but does not affect the meaning of the sentence when it
is removed, then that component is not essential.
In order to tell a reader that a group of words is a nonessential component, you place
commas in front and in back of the group of words. However, if omitting the group
of words would drastically change the meaning of the sentence, then those words are
not a component; rather, they are essential to the meaning of the sentence. In that
case, you would not want to put commas on either side of the component so that
the reader knows that those words are absolutely important to the meaning of the
sentence. For example, look carefully at the following sentences:
Ms. Johnson, who is the company president, will present the award at our
annual dinner.
Banks which hold over a billion dollars in assets are rare.
In the first sentence, the information about Johnson being the company president
has no bearing on the main idea of the sentence: that she will present the awards at
the annual dinner. Since this information is added or extra, we let the reader know it
is an interchangeable component (like the stereos tape deck) by placing commas on
either side of it. In contrast, the second sentence contains information that is absolutely essential to the meaning of the sentence: which hold over a billion dollars in
assets. If you were to place commas around these words, you would be erroneously
telling the reader that the words constitute a nonessential component. For example,
look at this sentence:
Banks, which hold over a billion dollars in assets, are rare.
This sentence tells the reader that the main idea is that banks are rare. Certainly, banks are far from rare, but by enclosing the information in commas you
have said that they are.
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Although weve spent some time discussing this use of the comma, it isnt very
difficult to master. Simply remember that when you are proofreading you should
check your sentences for essential and nonessential components.
The Dash
The dashoften typed as two hyphens side by side with no space between the dash
and the words on either side of itis used to connect groups of words to other
groups. Generally, the dash does this in two ways: it separates words in the middle
of a sentence from the rest of the sentence, or it leads to material at the end of a
sentence.
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As described in our section on commas, writers often place a component in a sentence and set the component off with commas. Sometimes, however, you might wish
to place special emphasis on the component, but commas are too weak to serve
this purpose. If this is the case, you may wish to use dashes for added emphasis. For
example, look at these two pairs of sentences:
Linda Simpson, the presidents most trusted economic advisor, will resign her
office during todays press conference.
Linda Simpsonthe presidents most trusted economic advisorwill resign her
office during todays press conference.
Simpsons prescription for the economy, lower interest rates, higher employment,
and less government spending, was rejected by the presidents administration.
Simpsons prescription for the economylower interest rates, higher employment,
and less government spendingwas rejected by the presidents administration.
All four examples are correct, but the second and fourth place more emphasis on the
component within them because of the dashes. Also, you have probably noticed that
the fourth is much clearer than the third because the dashes clearly mark where the
component begins and ends, whereas the reader might become confused by all the
commas in the third. In other words, you can use the dash to make sure your reader
clearly understands your point.
In addition, you have an added advantage when using dashes over commas: you can
use a full sentence as a component. For example, examine these sentences:
Linda Simpsonher enemies call her the author of our nations economic woes
has resigned her office with the present administration.
The present economic conditionLinda Simpson calls it an economic disaster
will require stringent fiscal measures before improving.
Notice how economical your sentence is when you can interject another entire sentence into the middle of it. Combining sentences in this way accentuates the relationship between the ideas and helps you draw attention to the component within
the dashes.
2. Adding Words to the End of a Sentence
You can also use a dash to attach material to the end of your sentence when there is a
clear break in the continuity of the sentence. Here are two examples:
The president will be unable to win enough votes for another term of office
unless, of course, he can reduce unemployment and the deficit simultaneously.
Generally, the presidents economic policies have proven ineffectivealthough,
its true that he has lowered inflation considerably.
These two samples show how you can attach added material to the end of your
sentence.
Use dashes sparinglyonly for those occasions when you wish to show special
emphasis. They can help you communicate effectively in certain situations, but you
dont want to clutter your prose with too many of them.
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The Apostrophe
An apostrophe is a signal telling the reader that a word is either a possessive or a
contraction.
1. To Form Contractions
As you know, a contraction is simply two words collapsed into one. You use contractions most often in informal or personal types of writing but usually not in more
formal types. When you speak, you use contractions every day. Here are some common contractions:
cannot
cant
will not
wont
do not
dont
we are
were
it is
its
you are
youre
The apostrophe in the contractions above tells the reader that you have omitted a
letter or two from the wordthe letter o in three of the cases above. Undoubtedly,
you have already mastered contractions, so we wont go into detail. However, we will
mention one common mistake. Remember that the apostrophe marks the missing
letter. Dont make the common mistake of placing the apostrophe between the two
words, such as in these cases: shouldnt, dont, etc.
2. To Form Possessives
The apostrophe is also used to mark the possessive. The possessive tells the reader
that someone or something owns or possesses the thing that comes after the possessive. Here are five examples:
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The possessive noun in each of the examples above (Ronnis, bankers, banks, nations,
years) indicates to the reader that something is owned by something or someone
else. In most cases, to make the possessive you simply add an s to the end of the
noun. This is quite easy. The problem arises when a noun is both plural and possessive. Certainly, there can be more than one Ronni, and they both can own the word
processor. Or more than one banker can own the log book. In such cases, you simply
place the apostrophe after rather than before the s:
Ronnis
bankers
banks
nations
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Some writers become confused when they must make a possessive of singular nouns
that already end in s. As usual, you make the possessive by adding s to the word;
however, some writers and editors argue that the two s are redundant and that
therefore you can eliminate the second s, ending up with the s. That is, they argue
that there is really no need to include an s after the apostrophe, since the apostrophe
already tells readers that the word is possessive. Others argue that you should drop
the final s only on words of several syllables but retain it on short words. Since there
is no agreement on this difficult problem, you must make your own choice. However,
regardless of which option you choose, do remember to be consistent. Here are two
nouns which already end in s and their corresponding possessive forms:
James
James Jamess
Jones Jones Joness
Finally, the apostrophe is used in one other way. Although the apostrophe is never
used to make a word plural, it is used to make letters and numerals plural:
Although I received Cs and Ds in many of my college classes, I always received
As in my business classes.
My sister received straight As throughout her college career.
My score sheet showed that I had six 5s and three 4s.
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