Getting Down to Cases

Vocational Identity at Work: Mediating

Between Essence and Occupation
Mark C. Rehfuss
This case report presents the thoughts and experiences of a professional mediator. The narrative tells the story of a 46-year-old Caucasian woman who has
overcome numerous barriers only to find herself in the midst of a formidable
career crisis. The crisis originated when powerful people in her field attempted
to force her to act in ways that were incongruent with her self-concept and
vocational identity. She has come to the career counselor seeking direction and
an effective resolution of her career crisis.

This case report presents the thoughts and experiences of a professional

mediator. The client is an outgoing and demonstrative female Caucasian
named Sue (a pseudonym). Four years ago, she started her own private
practice specializingin divorce mediation but has recently started to supplement her income by working part-time at a community mediation center
1 hour from her home. Her business is sustained by referrals of courtordered divorce cases from both the city and the county in which she lives.
For this client, mediation has become "a way oflife," a manifestation of
her essence. On her way to becoming a mediator, she had encountered
and overcome physical abuse, gender inequity, domestic violence, and the
disabilities of her child. Now at age 46, as she sits with her counselor, she
discloses that she has encountered a new challenge. Powerful people in her
field are trying to force her to act as a judge or arbitrator rather than as a
mediator, which she believes would be incongruent with her self-concept
and vocational identity.
As suggested by Brown and Brooks (1996) and underscored by those
who use a constructivist or narrative paradigm in counseling, it is helpful
to hear a client's story in his or her own words so that one may gain a
direct view of the client's self-concept and subjective reality. Therefore,
instead of relating test scores, with Sue's permission, I briefly introduce
her story and then provide the edited dialogue in her own words from
our first session in the fall of2000.

Background of Sue's Story

Sue initially called me to schedule an appointment in which she wanted to
clarify or refocus the direction of her career. She indicated that she had
Mark C. Rehfuss, Counseling and Human Development Services Program, Kent
State University. Correspondence concerning this article should be addressed to
Mark C. Rehfuss, 310 White Hall, PO Box 5190, Kent State University, Kent, OH
44242-0001 (e-mail: mrehfuss@kent.edu).
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been struggling with this career dilemma for several months and that,
finally, a friend of hers had insisted that she contact me.
Sue is a first-generation Slovakian American who married immediately
after graduating from high school and, with her husband, built a very
successful auto parts operation. After 16 years of managing this business,
Sue realized she would like to attempt to earn a college degree. Despite
her husband's objections, she started a degree program in interior design.
She had completed 3 years of the degree program when she became pregnant with her first child and chose to drop out ofcollege. Her little girl was
born with several chronic health problems. Because of these problems,
Sue's husband believed the little girl could not be his child. He soon became physically abusive toward Sue and one day he held a gun to her head
and threatened to kill her. It was at this point that Sue ran away with her
daughter to a woman's shelter and filed for divorce. The divorce process
accentuated the conflict with her husband and initially erupted into very
hostile confrontations between the two. Out of these intense conflicts and
confrontations, however, Sue was able to forge a new direction and passion for her life-a new narrative that she expresses below.

The Story in Sue's Words

The Divorce Experience
During the whole divorce process, I kept thinking, "There's got to be a
better way to do this." Eventually, I decided to change my attitude. I
stopped fueling the anger and violence between my ex-husband and myself. I chose to hold my tongue and began to refuse to retaliate against
him. I tried to find some kind ofcommon ground between us. Ofcourse,
this really got the attention of the attorneys working on my divorce case.
They noticed the difference in me and eventually suggested that I look
into becoming a divorce mediator. One of the attorneys actually got me
information about a mediation course and signed me up.
That 40-hour course changed the direction of my whole life. It was
there that I decided to become a designer of better lives. I still use my
graphic design classes in my hobbies. I love decorating my house and
creating fancy greeting cards for my friends, but now it's just a fun personal outlet for me. After that course, I went back to college, changed
my major to general studies with a focus in conflict resolution, and graduated
3 years later to begin my work in mediation.
The whole divorce situation was pretty intense, but for me there are
only two ways of handling each situation we have in our lives. You can
rise above it or you can let it consume you. And, I knew that with a very
young child who was extremely sick, I needed to rise above it, and quickly.
So I turned it into a positive instead of dwelling on it as a negative. It
helped me to understand my own and others' humanness to a deeper
degree. Not that I wasn't sensitive before but ... I can explain.
The PhUosophy Underlying Sue's Career
I'm a "why" person, and I like to explain why people do the things that
they do-to understand why people will walk the miles that they walkbecause I would like for people to recognize why I walked the miles I
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walked. That's what mediation really is; it's just hearing people talk. It's
not about making judgments or telling them what to do; it's about listening. Often I'll have to ask a client, "Did you hear what she just said? Did
you really hear what she just said?" And by doing that, a lot of times for
the first time, they're actually hearing what they're saying. Really hearing. I tell most of my clients my favorite ultimate saying, and this you can
put down as a quote, "You've been doing things one way, and the way
you've been doing things so far hasn't worked. You need to do something
different than what you've been doing in the past, because what you've
been doing in the past hasn't worked." That's basically it in a nutshell.
Most people fear doing something different.
I believe that each of us has a unique story to tell. In each of our lives,
we have adversity that either consumes us or we learn from it. When we
learn from it, I call that kind of insight a moment of enlightenment. It's
when people begin to realize that they could be a better person if they
could only get beyond whatever is happening. Making something like
that happen for someone will satisfy me for a week.
Sue's Moment of Enlightenment
I can give you an example of enlightenment from one of my very first
mediations. It probably made the biggest impact on me. I had this couple
who had been divorced 10 years prior to our appointment. But they were
still as bitter as ever with each other. The guy looked like Grizzly Adams.
He was all hair! And both he and his ex-wife were super negative! My
first impression was "Oh! My God! What did I get myself into?" But, I
just ignored their negative behavior and I went about my business.
[Sue went on to describe every session with these two clients as if it
were taking place right there in the room. In the fifth and final session, as
she described it, something happened.]
So (Sue pauses), something was said, I'm not really sure what was said,
but he turned toward her and looked directly at her and said, "I think this
needs to be said. I realize now that our divorce was not your fault. It was
my fault for my drug and alcohol abuse. And you stood by me as long as
you could."
(Sue uses herfingers to wipea tearfrom her eyes asshe is talking and picksup
a tissue.)
The woman fell apart crying! I was crying! He was crying! This big,
burly, scary guy was crying! And I'm like, oh boy, what's happening
here? I need to keep control of this. I'm the one that needs to keep this in
line. And the ex-wife looked at him and said, "That's all I ever wanted
from you, was for you to admit that it wasn't my fault that I couldn't
keep our family together."
I've got goose bumps! It was just so intense, so healing, and so rewarding. That's the moment that I knew I had chosen the right field. I knew
that there was a better way to do things. Divorce didn't have to happen
the way I had experienced it, and now I could change that for others too.
In any situation now, I take a step back and I try to find out the story
before I make any judgments. That's a way oflife. It's not just something
that I do in mediation. It's not just something I do at home because of
my daughter's condition or whatever. It becomes a way oflife, of thought
processing. It's something you have to learn how to do and that takes
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time. I never used to be like that. I was a knee-jerk [reaction] type of

person, but now I take time to say to myself, "What's the next best step
that I can take?"
I also relate this quickly to mediation. If these people are not compliant
or don't want to agree to these things, what's the next best possible
solution? It's a thought process that you just assimilate into your everyday life. Like I said, I was knee-jerk [reaction type] before this, but my
mom always said to me, "Now Sue, you have to wait and hear the whole
story" or "their side of the story." You know, [those are] real good
words of wisdom to go by. For what it may seem on the surface isn't
necessarily what it is. And that's the whole philosophy behind mediation
and I have adopted it as a way of life.
My daughter was about 2 when we were under the gun. Literally. And I
vowed that I would break that cycle of abuse. It was a long journey to
recognize that in myself, then to recognize that in my family, and then to
do something about it. The beauty of it is that my daughter is now 11,
and teachers will come up to me and say, "Hanna defused an argument
today." Or Hanna will say, "Mom, these two kids were fighting, and I sat
them down and I told them they could work it out."
(Sue starts tearing up and then cries as she shakily says)

My reward is that I have broken the cycle.

(Sue grabs a tissue and wipes her eyesand nose.)

Sue's Career Crisis

Sorry. It's powerful stuff. It really is. And it's peaceful. But lately, it's
been a constant challenge for me to keep everything in focus and everything in balance. You see, right now I'm struggling with being blackballed from ever working in my community as a mediator again, because
I'm refusing to buy into the "good old boys" system. I'm refusing to just
go along with what the judges want. They want me to decide who is right
and who is wrong in divorce cases instead of helping the parties to resolve
their issues. The judges want me to act as an arbitrator and tell them who
to decide for, instead of mediating an agreeable solution for both sides.
It's so frustrating because people's lives hang in the balance of what
these judges behind closed doors decide. The judges make a decision
and then slap themselves on the back and go out to dinner like it was no
big deal. But their decisions devastate people's lives. I see it in the lives
of my clients, where they are trying to pick up the pieces ... I've
walked those same miles myself, since my divorce was decided behind
closed doors.
I've said to different judges, "This is not within my scope." And they
say, "Oh, but it is, I'm paying you." Then I say, "I am not going to
compromise my profession." And then, all of a sudden, the cases have
started drying up, and there are very few cases for Sue any more. Isn't
that interesting? That's why I've had to start working part-time an hour
away just to pay the bills, but I'm finding these same expectations on me
to make their decisions for them even there.
I'm 46 years old. I want to stop this and work full-time back home in
my own practice. But to do that, I'll probably have to do what they're
asking or go back as a housekeeper or temp or something, simply because I don't want to buy into the "good old boys" system. I've even
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checked into graphic design jobs, but without the degree and because
technology has changed so much, there's no way.
I guess, I still hold to the ideal that my good character and reputation
are worth far more than any dollar amount. For once that's gone, I don't
think there is anything else. If for no other reason, at least I want to show
my daughter that it isn't always easy to do things the right way, and
sometimes it costs you dearly, but in order for me to put my head on that
pillow and sleep easy, that's what I think I need to do.
I suppose that for most of my life I have always felt that I didn't want to
be where I was, but I didn't know what should be different to get me
somewhere else. But finally, when I come to a place when I am satisfied
with where I am and what I'm supposed to do, I don't think I can keep
doing it. At least, doing it their way.

Conclusion
Sue sits waiting expectantly. She has openly shared the narrative of her life,
her career, and her crisis. Now, it is the counselor's chance to respond.
The next two articles are examples of such responses. Two experts first
conceptualize and then respond to Sue's case. The first uses a constructivist
approach, whereas the second uses the framework ofSelectiveOptimization
With Compensation. Both articles can serve as templates for how to conceptualize, investigate, and intervene with Sue and other similar career clients.

References
Brown, D., & Brooks, L. (1996). Introduction to theories of career development and
choice: Origins, evolution, and current efforts. In D. Brown & L. Brooks (Eds.),
Career choice and development: Applying contemporary theories to practice (3rd ed.,
pp. 9-10). San Francisco: Iossey-Bass,

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