Page 1

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CHAPTER 1
- I think you let yourself be led by your selfishness above!
Mike's voice resounded with unusual hardness, and Natasha looked at
him sadly.
A chasm is widening between them, she feared an abyss of never fill.
Instead
sitting close to her, he had abruptly dismissed, as if proximity repugnant
all
suddenly, and he considered stiffly outstretched traits.
- It's not selfish, she protested. Your idea just seems inconceivable.
Everything would be different if your mother loved me.
- But she loves you!
The young man's face was inflamed. His eyes, usually so warm, so
sparkling with life, now evoked coldness, the hardness of the stone.
- And it is you who do not love, I understand now! he went on. Last
night, precisely,
she told me believing guess your hostility towards him, and I was
foolish enough to disabuse!
Distraught, she put on her blue eyes incredulously, shaking his head.
- It never succeeded in a young couple to live with her in-laws, she said.

- Do not seek excuses! if he won.

They never had a fight before, and she had the painful impression of
face to a stranger.
They knew each other for four months. To their amazement, they had
quickly
realized they were in love with each other. The days passed, each
brighter
than others.
Some of the depth of their commitment, Natasha was not surprised at
his request
in marriage.
- Why wait? he said. We are sure of each other, is not it?
- Yes, we are, she replied jumping to her neck, happy to see if
hastened.
- When my mother will return from Australia, we will take care of the
formalities, he decided.
Not for a moment Natasha had doubted she would like Mike's mother.
He had him
described with such love that she felt ready to give her tenderness.
Mrs. Porter had just spent six months at Kenneth, his other son, who
had married the daughter
a farmer from Queensland. The old lady showed such eagerness to
enjoy some

his grandchildren that they eventually invite.

When Natasha went to Mrs. Porter for the first time, not the least
afterthought did touched. But from the moment she entered the living
room of her stepmother, she
realized she had an enemy. Certainly, his hostess proved very
courteous and smiling;
Yet as soon as his son's back was turned, she glared her future daughter
an ice look, leaving
clear that it was not welcome.
Shocked and incredulous, Natasha was looking in the eyes of Mike the
same surprise that the
knocked herself. But obviously, the young man noticed nothing.
When they left, he asked him innocently in the world:
- So what do you think of her? It's great, is not it? You know, my
father died
when I was four, and she raised us alone, my brother and I, working
tirelessly
that we lacked nothing. She never complained about his lot, and I only
understood
growing up how she was devoted to us. She sacrificed herself for her
son ...
Is not exceptional?

Page 3
- Exceptional indeed mechanically Natasha nodded with a forced smile.
- I knew you would. It is essential that the two women in my life
agree!
The girl winced.
- You ... you think I liked it? she ventured after a hesitation.
It was hard to conceive such blindness from Mike, but it seemed
really sincere.
- Of course! if he cried.
And he kissed her with an enthusiasm that nothing could begin. This
first interview
the forward-knows ... Natasha renounced let him see the truth. She
even came to doubt
itself.
The hope of having deceived the reinvigorated. Perhaps Ms. Porter was
she just tired
a hard day? Perhaps the news of this unexpected marriage had she
taken aback
?
Alas, in short the following weeks, his first impression was verified.
Not only
Ms. Porter did not like him, but she deliberately showed hostile. All the
efforts of the young

daughter ended in failure. She brought her chocolates: Mrs. Porter

disliked
chocolates, they were fattening. She offered her flowers: Mrs Porter did
not like flowers,
she was allergi-that pollen ...
If Natasha proposed a date for their wedding, her stepmother interrupted
systematically and changed the conversation. If they were to talk about
Kenneth's wife, she
not dried up more criticism on his stepdaughter on his way of raising
her children or to take her home.
Natasha never understood then that Mike's mother would not accept any
woman between her and her son.
Ms. Porter was immod-rately possessive and jealous.
On the one hand, this excessive attitude was pitiful, but she was
beginning to cast a shadow
on the relationship between young people. Natasha felt unable to
enlighten her fiance that evoked
naively their future life in the house of his mother, was it not his duty to
watch over
it? ...
- She has done so much for me, honey.
Sitting each at the end of a park bench, they were not looking.
- I owe him so much, you understand? he continued.

You decided to continue to work for now, but suppose we wanted a

baby right away. Having my mother at home would be ideal, right?
- Do not see it that way, Mike!
- You do not like him, he accused.
Natasha gave him a bewildered look.
- It's not that ...
- She suspected it, and I thought she was wrong, she was carried away
by his
imagination. Still, she was right: you do not love.
- It was she who does not love me! exploded the girl, trembling
because she hated
disputes.
Unlike Mike, it was neither expansive nor confident but shy, sweet and
cleared.
This quarrel plunged into the deepest distress.
- She hates me, she uttered an almost inaudible voice.
This reality terrified; she hoped to convince even her fianc.
- What nonsense! he shouted. Do proffers more such nonsense! My
mother hate you! ...
- She hates me, she does not want this marriage.
- Why would she offered us to live with her if she did not want? he
retorted,
furious.

Page 4
Natasha opened her mouth to answer, but the words died on his lips.
How
could she tell him: "Your mother is jealous, it does not intend to lose
you, she thinks I'm going
tear you from her and she tries to stop me?
- Then he pressed. Listen, he went without being moved by the
desperate look
his fiance.
Forget all that, okay? I have a very high opinion mom and I will not
stand
that such relations are established between us. Say no more about this
marriage.
Natasha grew pale. She could not believe her ears.
The wedding day was planned in a few weeks, she had chosen her
dress, her parents
had dealt with everything ...
Mike stared at the road ahead, his jaw.
- It's over, he said.
- Finished? she repeated in a voice she did not recognize.
She struggled in the nets of a horrible nightmare, because it could not be
that of a

nightmare ...
- I should congratulate myself for having taken this decision before it's
too late! said he.
The girl shuddered. She took off her engagement ring with trembling
fingers. They had
chosen together, and she gazed every day, drunk with happiness ...
- Well, she whispered, handing him the ring.
- I beg you, he said.
He pushed his hand and rolled the jewel in the grass.
The wind tousled brown hair Natasha remained motionless, his eyes
fixed on a
not lost in the distance of the park when the young man left and did not
return. All
Suddenly she stood up and began to run. Tears streamed down her
cheeks.
Why adversity she was bent against her when she discovered a
happiness so valuable?
She no longer thought of nothing but this painful rupture that had
annihilated. When
she realized that passersby looked back on it, it slows the pace. Then
she tried
to swallow her tears. She worked two minutes from the park, so she
borrowed a path more

Long to take time to calm down.

Natasha then regained the modern building that housed the agency. She
stopped where the toilet
it refreshes his face, restored order in his headdress and remaquilla.
Besides her pallor,
dark circles under his eyes, nothing was reflected in his inner distress.
Nigel Herries, his boss, was too preoccupied with himself to notice a
change
of this nature to his secretary. Handsome, pleased with himself, he
attached great importance to its
own person he neglected no detail. Her salary barely managed to cover
its
vestimentai-res expenditures and maintenance of its beautiful red sports
car.
When Natasha entered the office a bit later, he took care to aim
nonchalantly
the basket where he threw crumpled paper balls.
- Did you eat breakfast? he asked, smiling at the girl.
Without waiting for a reply, he lingered to contemplate. As his car,
young
women he surrounded himself had to "go it well," he thought, that is to
say, be pretty, elegant,
attract the attention of other men.

- You are very smart, he said, detailing the raw dress that gracefully
floated around
Natasha long legs.
- Thank you, 'she said, putting a pile of leaflets in front of her.
Accustomed to his compliments, she did not give them more
importance than they
deserved. Nigel collected the adventures. His connections in general
lasted a little more
week. He loved the variety.

Page 5
- What are you doing tonight? himself he asked.
It was not his first invitation, but she had always declined. This time
Yet, to the surprise of the young man, she replied:
- I do not know why?
- I'm invited to a party at customers, charming people, Fortt, you
remember? Those who loved dogs so much. Why accom-gneriez you
not me? Us
dcrocherons perhaps a new contract?
Natasha vaguely recalled Dave Fortt.
The advertising agency had organized a cocktail in his honor six months
earlier. To this

occasion, Nigel had deployed his talent to put his ideas into value and
get noticed
by this man in sight. If he willingly showed fanciful and frivolous, head
of the girl had
also a brain. He worked in spurts suddenly pushed by flashes of genius
who succeeded in
long time to Oisi Vete-and this "method" was succeeding.
- Okay, she agreed. What time should we be there?
- At eight o'clock. I'll go get you home.
These evenings were displayed hypocrisy and superficial reports
generally bored
Natasha.
But tonight, after her breakup with Mike, she dreaded so much to find
his
apartment where she inevitably broierait black she would have accepted
any invitation.
She lived in a small studio in the Chelsea neighborhood. Its windows
overlooked the
roofs. Some days when the season permitted, she could see the green
foliage of a tree
pointing between two houses. But in general, she mostly saw the sky
She lived in this apartment for a year and a half, and in that time, its
neighbors

bearing had succeeded many times. We do not attar-Dait in this place

where there was
the total anonymity.
Natasha had felt some difficulty in accoutu overseas in London, she had
grown up in a
Dorset village where her parents still lived and sister. No doubt she
would have stayed there
if she had not fallen in love with the husband of the latter. Oh sure, it
was only
a passing attraction she took care to keep secret in the depths of his
heart. But to
the age of passions and follies, next day without feelings sometimes
take an importance
disproportionate. So she decided to leave to settle in London to forget
Jack and relieve
guilt which undermined; a deep attachment between her and Linda, his
sister.
Indeed, his dreams of teen-lescente did not resist the pulsing life of the
capital. His
work, new knowledge helped him considerably, and when she met
Mike, the
Remember his brother was banished to the depths of his memory.

While dressing for the evening, Natasha wondered how she would
announce her
Parents her breakup with fiance they worshiped. Only Linda had shown
more reserved ...
Much less that erased his junior, she had always been accustomed to
direct, act according to his
goodwill. Her husband, for example, generally bent to his wishes.
Maybe
be it simply guessed that Mike had too strong character to let
intimidate?
Anxious at the thought of having to face the dismay of his family,
Natasha watched his
livid face in the mirror, her eyes dark with grief.
Although her fiance regretted their quarrel, nothing would change.
How could
marry her when the mother of the young man hated? He and Mrs.
Porter were so close ... A
Such a situation would inevitably suffer. Kenneth had solved the
problem by starting
settle in around the world, but his brother would not follow his example.
He will never understand
the view of Natasha, even if it required him to look reality in the face.

The girl chose her favorite dress. She liked to wear it, to feel on her
skin

Page 6
smooth coral silk jersey. The neckline discovered his throat until the
birth of the chest,
the right skirt and forced to walk the narrow slowly. Without being
provocative, this outfit
showed off her feminine charms. Mike and she had chosen together;
the young man
insisted she buys it. "It makes my heart beat! "He claimed. Natasha
often subjected to his will, she liked to please him. Shy, frail, graceful
and very fine,
she inspired the men protective desires, offering a seemingly easy prey.
They
frightened her a bit and she quickly hid before their attempts at
seduction, unaware that
This attitude caused them to insist on the contrary.
- The more you get and the more they fear will hasten, Linda told him
one day. Viewing dogs ...
- Dogs? repeated the young girl, without understanding.
- Yes, the more you tremble before them, the more they pursue you ...
How can you be so

naive, Natasha?
- I do not know, she answered in the distressed look of its predecessor.
A resounding horn startled her and impatient.
Through the window, she saw the red sports car Nigel roof open for the
occasion. It
hastened to take his bag and pulled out slightly perfumed. A curious
presentiment touched
suddenly, just for a moment ... She found herself regretting having
agreed to go to that
evening ... But this apprehension flew when she spoke of her little
empty studio, only haunted
by shadows Mike and M Porter . And then she would be too busy to
repel the advances of
Nigel to indulge his melancholy. Despite her shyness, she felt strong
enough to keep the young
Man remotely. Not too proud to recognize when it became unwelcome,
it
never crossed certain limits.
Nevertheless, he did not give to much and always believed in
tomorrows more
promising ...
Nigel came to open the door for her.
- Um ... I like your perfume!

She smiled at him, settling in the car. Mike had given him the day of
this perfume
their engagement ... An expensive gift she could never afford itself.
Even his
apartment represented an excessive expense for his meager salary, but
its location in heart
London-com thought this disadvantage. Natasha liked the Thames, and
she enjoyed every day
contemplating the calm waters of the river to leave her. They evoked
for her escape,
freedom after closed and stifling horizons of city streets. His tireless
movement, its
different colors depending on the time, offered an ever-changing vision,
while
continued his silent way towards the sea.
- You are delicious, 'said Nigel Demar-rant. Your dress suits you ... I
feel delight
we will spend a memorable evening!
The car turned into the heavy traffic of the city. The wind lifted the hair
blond young man who gave him a romantic profile.
- You look very elegant you, Natasha noticed.
He gave a smile of satisfaction.
- This is a new suit, 'he told.

- I thought so! she joked.

- We are a beautiful couple ...
He considered in fact a pretty woman next to him put him in value; no
doubt
he believed that the pink of her dress formed with the blue of full
harmony particularly
pleasing to the eye ...
The party was in full swing when they arrived. He took the hand of
Natasha and dragged through
the crowd in search of a glass of Champagne. When they were served,
he examined the assembly to
looking for a familiar face.

Page 7
- That Sonia! he launched soon after.
Sonia Warren handled public relations for a large company, and
sometimes treated
with the advertising agency. Despite his playful air and smiles, it had
failed to attract
sympathy Natasha. Sonia soon joined them, kissed Nigel, and both
engaged
once in a conversation which excluded completely the girl.

After a moment, it noticed that the glass was empty and his boss offered
him
him to go get another one.
- Thank you, he said, handing him immediately imitated by Sonia.
Natasha stood for a moment in front of such prohibited casually, but she
went with the
three cuts. When he returned, his companions were still talking, and
she stood there, listening to the
absently.
A waiter passed several times with a tray, and Natasha took some cuts
Champagne, surprised to see her empty glass as fast. "The Champagne
must give thirsty"
she thought. It also found that he was a wonderful remedy against the
bitterness ...
She suddenly discovered that looked ... Everyone looked at her, she
who believed
not attract anyone's attention. Then she smiled at these strange faces,
happy to no longer feel
alone. Even Nigel suddenly appeared to remember his presence.
- Where were you hiding, charming creature, so that our paths will not
be
yet crossed? inquired the sweet voice of one of the guests, close to his
ear.

- Mademoiselle is with me, Nigel intervened immediately, taking her by

the waist.
Let the Rover.
- Excuse me, I'm sorry! murmured the man wobbled slightly.
Without really knowing why, Natasha laughed. A sudden and
irrepressible cheerfulness the
transpor-silent. It felt like soap bubbles fluttered in his head. If
someone
detached a group close to her; a large brown shape vaguely wavered
before her.
She realized then that gray eyes were watching, gray eyes where a smile
and danced
a certain languor perhaps due champagne ...
- We have not been presented, insisted Rover with the girl.
- And you do not be! Nigel intervened again.
Laughter greeted his repartee. There was a stampede; groups broke up,
other re-formed. Newcomers arrived.
Natasha leaned slightly against Nigel and continued to listen in silence.
- And your car, someone said. It goes fast, right? How much does it
consume?
- Twenty liters per hundred.
- What? You're kidding! How can you maintain such a device? Mine
already consumes five liters!

- But what do you drive? A baby carriage? Nigel laughed, causing

general hilarity.
Natasha gaze swept the circle that had formed around them, and she
recognized the man
with gray eyes.
Standing in front of her, he observed. A slight smile played on his lips
...
On joyful and carefree mood, she smiled back.
- I'm sure mine reaches a top speed to yours, affirmed
Nigel someone who shook his head in disbelief. I bet all you want!
continued
another.
- We will have to check one of these days ...
- Why not now?
- Do not be stupid! protested another.
- Just find a straight road, and we will see, insisted the paris launcher.

Page 8
- Alright! Nigel adds enthusiastically.
Laughter mingled with marks of impatience.
The girl, fascinated by the gray eyes of the unknown, and noticed his
black lashes. His

insolent way to fix it ran into a strange thrill. Despite the agitation
room, it was
it also remained silent, although he was often taken to task.
It surpassed other men at least a head.
Dressed elegantly, he moved with ease showing great confidence.
Natasha was not the only one to be sensitive to its charm. Sonia was
trying to get his
attention by fiery glances, and other women smiling at him at the first
opportunity. He
belonged to that category of people who do not go unnoticed in society
without
having to be particularly talkative or exuberant. It emanated from him a
virility
calm and clear, inherent sensuality to his person. His lips firm and clear
design
evoked the promise of intoxicating kisses ...
Natasha had certainly never seen before because it would not have
forgotten. When
he plunged as now his eyes in his, a gentle warmth slid down the back
the girl.
- Let's go! Nigel said suddenly, taking her spoke size, brutally tearing
at
the spell that the unknown exerted on it.

Pardon? she asked.

- We'll make a run, he explained by pushing the output.
Without understanding, she let herself gently but firmly carry through
the crowd
noisy.
- But what happens? she finally asked when they met outside under the
sky
Black London.
- We'll have a race! repeated the young man definitely excited for this
idea.
Natasha looked at him in bewilderment:
- Oh, Nigel, I do not think it's a good idea ...
- Do not play spoilsport! he retorted by opening the passenger door.
Get in!
- No, she decided resolutely shook his head.
The others already settled in cars, doors banging, laughter rang out, the
engine began to purr.
- Hurry! Nigel grew impatient, red with excitement at the idea of
measure to another
conductor. I can not leave without you.
- I take her in my car, intervened a cold and determined voice.
Nigel looked up at the man who stood behind Natasha and considered
without

amenity.
- Who are you? he asked.
Sonia suddenly brightened. His face lit up with a flirtatious smile.
- But it was Lee Farrell, my dear! You do not know? ... How are you,
Lee?
You remember me, Sonia ...
- I remember, curtly cut the newcomer before turning to Natasha. You
come with me? he asked the latter. I guess you do not want to
participate in this kind of entertainment?
- No, indeed.
- I remind you that this young woman is with me! Nigel intervened
suddenly furious.
Some cars are already moving away, much to the exasperation of the
young man who

Page 9
more contained his impatience.
- Come, Natasha, he added, grasping his arm.
- She will be safe with me, said Lee Farrell releasing it from the grip of
Nigel.
The latter was speechless for a moment, and then he let out an
expletive, climbed into his car and
started with a bang.

Natasha sighed. She gave herself up lazily to the embrace of the

unknown that had
surrounded by her arms as if to protect it. Sonia on it darted a piercing
look.
- Have fun! she launched with an evil smile before walking away.
- What are we doing? Lee Farrell then inquired with great gentleness.
- What you want, she replied in a slightly sleepy voice.
A sly gleam sparkled in the gray eyes of man.
- You rely on me, is not it?
- Apparently! she confessed, carefree. We could for example take a
walk in
Car in the countryside? You got inside all night ...
- This is not exactly how I was planning to spend the night ... he said,
amused.
- But I love the country! The birds, the trees, the rivers ... I love it!
And
particularly by such a peaceful night that it ...
- Okay for the campaign. I even know a place that meets your
wishes.
- Wonderful! exclaimed Natasha.
She sank lead to a big black car, and he helped take place. Where
moved to his side and started the engine, she leaned her head against the
comfortable seat and smiled to

angels.
- Where are we going? she asked when they had started.
- We just decided to go to the countryside.
- Well, she sighed softly.
Natasha was vaguely aware of behaving like a brainless, but this time
almost magic where time no longer existed delighted her.
A rural and quiet landscape soon replaced the outskirts of London. The
circulation
is Apau-truth gradually. The girl had no idea where they were, but she
did not care.
It would admi-blue sky where the blinking thousands ETOI them. Lee
Farrell turned on the radio, and
Soft jazz music arose. Charmed by the melody of the clarinet, Natasha
began to sing.
- You husky voice, he said, laughing.
- Excuse me ...
- But I love your voice! Besides, I like everything about you Natasha,
especially your
eyes. Your first name pleases me too, it is not common.
- At the time I was born, my mother was devouring Russian literature.
She called Natasha
in memory of the heroine in War and Peace.
- It is a wise choice, that you very well.

- Thank you, 'she murmured, smiling.

His head was still resting against the backrest. The wind rushed
through the open window,
raised her silky hair in a dancing halo around her face.
- You remind me of a mermaid ... a creature half-human, half-magical,
almost ...
almost unreal.
- I do have the impression of swimming in a dream.
Actually, I'm not here ... but I fly in a bubble, there ... she replied,

Page 10
pointing to the sky.
He laughed and then frowned.
- Attention, the bubbles burst!
- Not mine, not this night. And to hell with tomorrow!
Lee held the steering wheel with one hand and stroked the other cheek
and satin rose suddenly
the girl.
- To hell with tomorrow! he repeated.

Page 11
CHAPTER 2

Gradually the moon made his way behind dark clouds, and the
distinguished Natasha
moving surface of a rough sea. Surprised, she sat up.
- The sea! if she exclaimed, much to the amusement of his companion.
- Yes, the sea, he nodded.
- But where are we?
- In Kent.
Hills with rounded curves harbored mysterious and dark wood.
Through
short grass meadows, chalky white floor and offered a cameo of strange
lights.
- Wonderful ... whispered the girl snuggling back into his seat.
- Do not you cold? inquired Farrell.
Under the warm caress of the wind of this very sweet night, his
passenger slipped into a languorous
delicious.
- I'm good, really good, she said.
He smiles.
- I hope the champagne is not solely responsible for your welfare.
- Do not blame the champagne, it is a divine drink.
The car turned onto a steep road to the assault of a steep hill. Woodland
thick formed around them a leafy canopy where the moonlight crept
with difficulty,

like water from a brook whose course would require it to be hampered

trickle.
- Where do we go now? he asked, peering elie darkness.
- Towards an unknown and mysterious destination ...
The road curves describing growing. She eventually shrink to the point
just allow the passage of a car. They passed a few houses sleeping, a
dog
barked somewhere.
- It seems that we are the only ones awake, Natasha noticed.
That night, for her, arose out of time. Lee looked at her, then reached
out to
push a lock of long hair girl fluttering over his face.
- Happy?
- Yes, she whispered.
She was floating languidly in a joy that enveloped him like a golden
cloud.
Carefree, she did not know who she was or where she was going,
Natasha Blairy whose life was
broken that morning in the park of London, this shy young girl who
cleared and never had
dared to commit any folly no longer existed. The one who was now
sitting alongside

Lee Farrell was sailing to his fancy, felt able to say whatever came to
mind.
Never before had she savored the sweet taste of freedom ...
- It's amazing, 'she whispered.
- Yes, is not it? he nodded as if he understood exactly what she wanted
express.
It slows reaching the top of the hill. The car turned cautiously on a
narrow road then stopped. Natasha then discovered a small white
cottage.
- We arrived, he announced leaving him to open the door.
She followed him to the entrance. There, he slid his hand along the lintel
overlooking the
door and pulled out a key. The hinges creaked when opened.
- This is a haunted house ... whispered the girl.

Page 12
- Of course, he replied, standing aside to let her pass.
He turned and led Natasha in a small room on the right. She was
comfortably
furnished, yet he gave off this inherent coldness in uninhabited places.
She shuddered
slightly.
- Cold? is he worried immediately taking the waist.

Without any fear, she bowed her head against the man's shoulder and let
him touch
his hair with his hand.
- Hmmm ... that's nice, 'she confessed.
- It's strange, but I also ... Hungry?
- Yes, she admitted, surprised.
- I was sure ... You see, we feel the same things.
- But ... there has he anything to eat here?
He lowered his head and kissed just behind the ear.
- Of course, he replied.
- Of course, she repeated.
Cpnment could she doubt it otherwise, since that night saw them achieve
least of his desires?
- Come, you will help me.
They went to a small kitchen where they prepared fried eggs, ham and
coffee.
When they were restored Natasha yawned, and his companion watched a
moment. His
gray eyes had darkened almost imperceptibly ...
- In bed, he said softly.
Natasha smiled and dropped passively lead to the first floor. The warmth
of her arms

around her filled with joy. She was struggling to keep his eyes open as
his eyelids
grew heavy. It ushered in a room with exposed beams, lined with paper
ornate, where stood a large bed covered with rose.
- I'm so tired, he she confided.
He then went down the zipper of coral dress and gently stroked the back
of the
girl.
- Mmmm ... she murmured, closing his eyes.
He bent a little, and his lips came to pick a kiss on those of Natasha.
- You are wonderful, 'he whispered.
- You, too, she said gravely.
- Thank you, 'he said, taking up the task he had begun, still kissing him.
Soon, the dress slipped at their feet. He looked for a moment the
graceful curves and
Women then let out a long sigh. All this was new to Natasha; she never
Mike was allowed to take such liberties. But his shyness and inhibitions
tonight
were gone.
She shuddered with pleasure ... Lee then said:
- You're cold, put yourself to bed
She slipped between the cool sheets. His eyes closed intermittently, but
she saw

vaguely undress. Just as he unbuttoned his shirt, he contemplated her

with a
fun.
- I would offer you an unusual sight by chance?
- Yes, she confessed frankly.
Never, in fact, no man had undressed in front of her. A week earlier, she
would run away without wasting time, but freedom had exquisite taste,
she thought now. It

Page 13
was exactly as his desire of the moment, without worrying about the
consequences.
Lee was muscular and slightly tanned. Fascinated by the manhood that
emanated from its
every move, she looked at the tall figure approaching the bed, slipping
his side and off
the light. Dry throat, she trembled with desire when she felt his body
against Lee
Farrell and her hot mouth on her shoulder.
- When I saw you tonight, for the first time, he murmured, as if it was a
...
electric current had covered me. I felt something uncontrollable ... In he
was

even for you?

Mesmerized by pleasure in those powerful arms, Natasha, absorbed the
delights she felt
caress the man's chest, said nothing.
He took possession again of her lips, and this time she put her arms
around her
neck, returning his kiss with fervor. This warmth that spread throughout
her being was
threatened a moment ... A little voice - the reason, no doubt tried to warn her, but she silenced. Nothing was to begin his
carefree happiness. She moaned weakly when Lee fingers wandered
along its
hips. Eyes closed, she swam in a dream and stubbornly refused to think,
to let the
reality penetrate this fluffy cloud when it floated in the rapture.
Soon she slipped completely into the world of oblivion. Their embrace
became more pressing,
more violent, more demanding. Natasha knew unsuspected pleasures.
Trapped in this body too
powerful, she could not discuss, but she really wanted? A wind of
madness had the
swept both ...

- Why did not you tell me? he asked, when the wave that had
overwhelmed the
subsided.
I would never have imagined that this was the first time ...
His voice was warm, soft; he seemed surprised and amazed. He kissed
the
face of the girl and held her against him, as if he was afraid she escapes
him. The fruits
defended had never exercised any attraction on Natasha. She previously
listened
that duty, propriety to act. She had left her hometown to avoid the risk of
shake the fundamental principles of morality. Before his fight with
Mike, she behaved
as a submissive woman.
This break was brutally revealed to him the reality.
She liked Mike, but she knew she could never marry him. If she
persisted
despite the jealousy and hostility MmePorter, his life would quickly
become hell. This evidence
had destroyed all hope of happiness with her fiance ...
"To hell with reality! "She thought suddenly, leaving his lips brush the
shoulder
Lee naked groaning with pleasure.

His life so far was only a perpetual flight, she continued to think ... and
Docile
conciliatory, it was mainly in the interest of others in defiance of its own
requirements. The
day before she would prudently kept away from Lee Farrell or would
have behaved
like a little girl frightened. In any case, she would not have responded to
the passion of this man
with such fever ...
- This can not be true ... he whispered a little later in a changed voice,
his face buried
Natasha's hair.
- God thank you, it is ... she replied, provoking laughter amazed at his
companion.
- I'm not sure to be very proud of me, 'he admitted.
The girl, who quietly slipped into the abyss of sleep, does not grasp the
meaning of his
words.
- What did you said? she asked.

Page 14
He stopped this time, and she fell asleep tenderly tight in protective
arms.

When she opened her eyes the next morning, she did not recognize
immediately where
she was. Astonished, she looked for a moment the ceiling beams before
meeting a
gray eyes that stared ...
- Oh! if she cried.
- Hello, he said in his deep voice.
Leaning on one elbow, he smiled. His body brushed against the girl.
They were his
caresses that had awakened. He continued indeed to let run his hand over
her skin.
- No! if she suddenly exclaimed in the repulsive.
She tried to sit up, but a migraine as sudden as the violent forced to
lie down again.
Lee laughed.
- The "hangover", is not it?
- Oh, my head ... she complained. It looks like it will explode.
- This is just a difficult day, he joked, stroking it again.
She blushed and pushed it again. A shudder ran through ... Images
the day before flashed through his mind, images that she would rather
forget ... Those memories
aroused in her the desire to die. What had she done? What had happened
to him? The nightmare

suddenly assailed relentlessly. But what devil had possessed so?

- Intimidated? he asked, frowning.
Well, I'll make coffee down, then we'll talk.
He bent over her and kissed her lightly, much as he would have kissed a
child.
- And do not begin to brood before my return, 'he said. Never in my life
I
have lived at night as beautiful as ours, you hear me? We have a number
of
things to discuss now.
Natasha kept her eyes firmly closed. Seeing persist in his silence, he
went out
of bed and dressed hurriedly. The always closed eyelids, she waited
impatiently for it to leave.
Only loneliness allow her to cope.
- Be back in five minutes, he announced before leaving.
She heard him go down the steps two at whistling. If remorse was
eating, Lee
Farrell himself was a cheerful mood!
She blinked when she tried to open them, as daylight the assaulting.
What would she say? she wondered desperately.
Natasha always knew when he returned with a tray. She met his gaze but
away immediately, but not before noticed her perplexed.

He sat down, put the tray on the bed and took the hand of the girl.
- Why you looking at me like that? he said softly. I know, it all happened
too fast, but
it was beautiful, right? Maybe I still drive me do you think that way ...
That night was
different for me too, very special, magical ...
Natasha swallowed hard.
- I'm engaged, she said in a small voice.
He dropped his hand and stood up. A heavy silence fell.
- In your last night mate? This wacky to the sports car that found nothing
better to do than this stupid race?
She shook her head, multiplying the pain pounded his skull. A nagging
him nausea
took away all his strength.
- I broke up with my boyfriend yesterday morning, so I went out with
Nigel. I followed
a silly impulse ... I was not mistress of my actions, I was not myself at
night
last.

Page 15
She wanted to disappear underground. Natasha the day before, which
had entered it

bed so eagerly no more, and she would never see the day.
Lee Farrell observed an alarming silence. She dared not look at him.
- I see, he threw last, without going further.
- I was not in my normal state and ...
- Indeed, he cut sharply.
- I never ...
- I went into account he interrupted again with the same abruptness.
She trembled, her face was burning. How could he not notice? ...
- I take you back to London, he said. Drink your coffee is hot, I will
preparing a more substantial breakfast.
- No, I could not swallow anything ...
- Well, he said, rising. The bathroom is right out, remember?
- Yes ...
She was not about to forget the disposition of this cottage nor the events
that were it
place ...
When she had finished her coffee, she jumped out of bed and went to
wash. While she
dressed she heard Lee walk outside. She discreetly approached the
window and saw,
standing in the morning sun, his dark hair slightly raised by the wind. It
emanated from
himself a sovereign tranquility, but the anger seemed to smolder in him.

Natasha turned away, biting her lip and went down. Lee Farrell closed
the house, handed
the key in place and they walked to the car.
- This cottage belongs to you? she asked, while the vehicle was entering
the small
way.
Concentrate on driving, he just is nodding his head. The many ruts do it
not made it easy.
- Do not be furious, she sighed.
- I'm not, 'he retorted.
But his clenched and hard features belied his words.
- I despise me, 'she whispered.
He turned his head toward her; his gray eyes were cold as steel.
- Why? he raised. To be seduced by me or for committing a
infidelity to the man you love?
He had to speak with a rage that startled ...
- For both reasons at once, she confessed in a whisper, suddenly livid.
- Thank you! It's very nice to hear that one just to spend the night with
despises you to have done! The day begins well!
Both hands on his knees, Natasha bullied nervously hem of her dress
between
his fingers.
- I'm just trying to explain ...

- You're welcome! Does the cut. I understood perfectly.

- No, you have not understood ... she Att miserably. I ...
- My dear, you are very eloquent, believe me.
They arrived on a wider road, and he stepped on the gas. Natasha
stiffened.
- Please, do not drive so fast ...
He did not seem to hear, he does not bother to look; however, it slows
gradually
little. The girl desperately looking for a way to apologize, but how to tell
him the

Page 16
truth without hurting him more?
If last night they had crossed person, traffic in the morning was dense.
They
took an hour to reach the center of London, one hour during which Lee
Farrell says
do not say a word.
Natasha eagerly awaiting the moment when she would be freed from his
presence, as this
horrible day finally would finish ...
- Where can I drop you? he asked at last.
- A Chelsea, please.

If she went to the office in the same dress as last night, Nigel would
certainly
not to draw the necessary conclusions.
- Where, in Chelsea? he insisted, annoyed.
She told him the name of his street and began to explain to him the way,
but he interrupted
curtly saying he did not need his help.
When he finally stopped in front of her, she bit her lip:
- I ... 'she began.
- If you have the misfortune to tell me you're sorry, I do not know what I
will
do! To hell thundered tomorrow I 2.
Does he- He leaned toward her, fury vibrating and continued:
- You've used me tonight, and I hate that they're used to me! I have
Never allow anyone to behave that way! You may be trying to justify
your
driving imagining that champagne or melancholy have led you to make a
fake
not ... But let me tell you, my young friend, that person never acts
without wanting a little.
He leaned more and suddenly opened the door:
- Bye, he threw.

Natasha slipped out of the vehicle. Hardly she found herself standing on
the sidewalk that
car started with a bang.
Once home, she donned a black pleated skirt and a white crepe blouse.
It
is watched carefully in the mirror, almost surprised that she had not
changed. TO
share a certain pallor and a slightly less proud head carriage, perhaps,
nothing revealed his
internal distress.
When she entered her office, Nigel was sitting with his head in his
hands. He winced in
pain when she closed the door.
- Do not make noise, I beg you, he said.
I spent a terrible night.
He raised his eyes and looked enfini the girl.
- And what happened to you? You have me indeed dropped ...
- I'll get coffee and aspirins.
- I especially need a nurse, he whispered.
Natasha walked to the door, but suddenly mischievous voice pierced her
boss
like a sword:
- How was it finally? he asked.

Despite the nausea that came over, she did not turn around. Nigel
laughed, but in this
feigned cheerfulness pierced all his resentment.
- You're thinner than I thought, he added. You fell on the right number,
it is very rich!
The door slammed behind the girl who felt bad to hear his satisfaction
boss moan:

Page 17
- Oh, my poor head ...

Page 18
CHAPTER 3
It remained to Natasha a week of vacation to take, but when she
demanded his due,
Nigel was angry:
- You take it to the last minute, it seems to me, he remarked.
- I have family problems, she explained truthfully altogether, I have to
go
promptly with my parents.
He still resented for having abandoned this evening; However, he
managed to silence
his resentment.

- I guess it is urgent and you do not have a choice, but how am I

manage without you, me?
- Sara replace me, I've already talked to him.
The sulky Nigel turned back to the window. He gazed complacently at
his reflection
in the window darkened by the pale glow of the setting sun, and took
care to put in place a
cowlick.
- Okay, he sighed. I just hope you tell me true, is that Lee Farrell
not the real reason for your approach ... If ever I learned that you have a
good party
time in Capri or Tahiti with him, I would look immediately another
secretary.
Natasha looked at him with a certain coldness.
- I'll leave you my phone number, so you can reach me whenever
you seem ...
- Good, very good! No need to take the fly!
if he exclaimed.
But the girl was fuming with indignation when the door closed behind
her the
office.
Every time he would be in a bad mood, Nigel would not fail to evoke
Lee

Farrell ... He was not about to forget his disappointment. Perceptive,

inquisitive and talkative, he would not lose
an opportunity to relate to all the winds of adventure Natasha in Kent, if
he ever came
learn it. This sort of anecdotes spiced existence, he said.
In the train that brought her home the next morning, Natasha was
desperately trying to
find how she would announce to his family that his marriage was
canceled. All he had
imagine the incredulous face and upset his mother for words and phrases
that she had
eva-nouissent be prepared in smoke.
The task is hard! She would begin by informing his mother alone
together, it would be
easier than to explain to all his relatives gathered.
The girl chooses a time when his father, Linda and Jack were busy
admiring the
roses in the garden. Ms. Blairy preparing tea in the kitchen:
- Oh, you're here, darling, 'she said, turning around. Would you take out
the cups, if you
Please?
No blue everyday, those Chinese porcelain.
Dry lips, Natasha mechanically opened the cupboard.

- Mom ... she began.

- Mike is not going to join you in the week?
K
Why hath he not accompanied? He has so much work? He could not
break free ... What

Page 19
shame!
We were planning precisely with your father the other day, to go to
London for the
knowledge of Ms. Porter. We could invite here. What's your opinion?
Do you think she
willing to come?
- Mom ... Natasha repeated in a hushed voice.
- And the cups? I take you there daydreaming ... You've always been a
dreamer!; even small
daughter thou vadais in your little world for a yes or a no. It was
enough for me to watch you
that you were in your secret country ... Linda instead, always kept his
feet on the ground, nothing
escaped him. You were the sweetest, but you let yourself be led by your
elder too. Never
let dictated to by anyone.

Ms. Blairy applied to butter toast with quick and precise movements.
Natasha, who
had the cups in saucers, looked at her mother her big blue eyes:
- I'm not going to marry Mike, Mom.
- What, dear? Hey, will you cut it into very thin slices cucumber?
- Mom ...!
Ms. Blairy finally put his knife on the table with a sudden gesture and
turned to his daughter.
- What are you saying? she asked, prohibited.
Distraught Natasha looked at her, his lips trembling.
- You're not going to marry Mike? repeated her mother, growing pale.
What is it
mean? ...
We chose the church, the town hall, the room, the meals, musicians and
...
She paused, opened his mouth again without any sound went not out by
then stared
her daughter.
- You can not change your mind now that everything is organized ...
- It's over, whispered Natasha.
- Finished?
- Forever.
Ms. Blairy pulled a chair to it and it sat down heavily.

- My God, how is he your father react?

Last Friday, he spent his day trying his suit, do you realize you?
- I'm sorry, Mom ...
Ms. Blairy stared at the hands of his daughter, clutching the back of a
chair.
- What happened, dear? An argument? You know, lovers' quarrels are
more
that your couran-needless to dramatize! Everything will work out, you'll
see ...
- No! Natasha cried warmly. It is impossible.
Tears flowed down her cheeks now.
- Natasha, my child! cried his mother bypassing the table to come for the
young
daughter in his arms. What's happening? What does all this mean?
Maybe your imagination
it darkens the situation?
- I would love that to be the case! But you see, Mrs. Porter hates me. It
me
considers a rival who will take away his son, Mike, blinded by his love
to him,
refuses to open his eyes. He prefers breaking because I will never accept
living with her ...
New sobs interrupted him.

- Oh, dear, this story does not like very much, Ms. lamented with a
Blairy
sigh so heartbreaking that her daughter smiled through her tears. Now,
now, calm down,
she added, suddenly concerned that Natasha in such a state.
Indeed, she did not know if she was laughing or if she was crying now ...

Page 20
- Listen, 'she said, you're going to rest up a bit with a nice cup of tea and
two
aspirins. I undertake to prevent your father, Linda and Jack.
- Mom, you're so nice ...
Ms. Blairy helped him up the stairs, and then she pulled the curtains in
the room that Natasha
immediately crawled under the quilt.
- I'm sorry for all the trouble I cause you, Dad, and you ...
- Do not worry about it. Take your tea and your pills, then you will sleep
a little.
Since last night with Lee Farrell, the girl was very little and slept badly.
The anguish of having to entrust the terrible news to her mother had
been right about her. Exhausted, she
fell asleep without even realizing it.
When she awoke, a gray dawn began to break. She stood on tip

feet, drew the curtains and looked at the first light that adorned the
horizon of a veil
pink and light.
Going down into the kitchen, she heard the clatter of cups clashed,
wheezing
the kettle ... It was his father, only in pajamas and robe, her hair in
disorder.
Natasha looked at him anxious eyes, but he smiled.
- Come in, come on! if he cried. And do not look so devastated air, it
looks like you
committed a crime!
- I'm so sorry you create so much anxiety ... You had everything
organized and ...
- Forget it. It is better to take time to engage in a doomed union
to failure.
- But I wanted this marriage with all my heart ... But when Mike was so
insisted that we lived with his mother, I realized that we were running to
disaster.
- Undoubtedly, his father nodded. But he must have known she was so
possessive
?
Natasha shrugged.

- He accused me of letting myself be carried away by my dreams. He

even dared to say that
it was I who hated her!
Mr. Blairy carefully watched the pale face of his daughter.
- ... And to be frank, my dear, you had no reason to hate, a priori, is not
right?
- But no! Instead, I was quite willing to accept it, but how can we
love someone who looks at you with such hatred? And you know, she is
not possessive
only in respect Mike, if you had heard of Kenneth's wife! The poor girl
all the faults of the Earth! Besides, it is not by chance that they went to
live in Australia ...
- Poor Mike ... If he really does not realize anything, it should be really
unhappy,
this moment ...
The girl looked at him, frowning.
- Yes, but I'm not the least ... Worst of all is that it will never accept any
beautiful girl.
- Except when he meets a woman more stubborn as her mother ... I do
not see Linda
abandon a marriage that she would truly desired, for example!
Natasha sighed.
- Me neither, but I'm no match for Mrs. Porter.

At the bottom of herself, Natasha thought that if that night she had acted
with more common sense,
courage and determination, she would not have embarked on this path
without return. Instead of listening
the voice of recklessness, she should go back to Mike, tell him exactly
what she thought of
Ms. Porter, ask him the ultimatum to choose between his fiance and her
mother.
However, after that brief moment of rebellion, would she have the
strength to endure

Page 21
persistent malice of this woman, the war that would inevitably have led
him? How
his marriage could he survive such a hostile climate?
Mr. Blairy patted the cheek of the girl:
- No, that's not your style, indeed, he said. You took the wisest decision.
Later, Natasha realized that the whole family did not share this opinion.
The
perspective of his sister was much less conciliatory
- You should have to get rid of that woman!
if she cried angrily. That's what I would have done in any case. How can
you confess

defeated so quickly, without even fight, Natty?

- Do not call me Natty!
- If you loved Mike, you would not give up so quickly, Linda continued,
imperturbable. This selfish dirty ...
- Linda! interjected his father.
But she faced him.
- Well, have I not right? If the poor fellow only had one ounce
intelligence, he would have seen for a long time what was going on
under his nose, and he would have sent his
mother to hell!
- It is not so simple: she sacrificed herself for him, Natasha explained.
- And she wants to make sure he will never forget! Linda punctuated
dryly. It is
not crazy, she will not be alone! You see, if his son marries, she will be
forced to
start a new life ...
This subject was beginning to tire the girl.
- I do not want to hear about it, I decided to forget, she said.
- You're right, dear, Mrs. Blairy slipped, it is a wise resolution. I for my
part
the feeling that you got fired narrowly a bad step.
Linda would speak again when his mother reduced her to silence with a
stern look.

- Enough, now! Needless to chat for hours!

Ms. Blairy not easily out of joint, as its chips they wearing more
when this was happening.
The week went by too quickly to suit Natasha; return to London only
smiled
hardly.
Jack accompanied her to the station. Before leaving, he looked with
some anxiety.
- You are very pale, he remarked. Are you sure want to go?
- Of course, she lied.
She had no choice now.
- Take care of yourself ...
The girl noticed with a sinking heart that the temples of his brother
already beginning to turn gray ... She remembered the brief and painful
period in which it
had thought herself in love with him.
Life, emotions are like the sand that is held in the hand. From which is
removed the
fingers, it irretrievably vanished to the last grain ... As she was correct
away from Jack, and as she had been wrong not to flee Lee Farrell in the
same way ... The
remorse does not rongeraient currently.

When she entered her apartment, she noticed that one had slipped a note
under the
door.
She immediately recognized the handwriting of Mike ...
His first reaction was not to open the envelope, but curiosity was quickly
due to its

Page 22
resistance.
He said to have called many times, coming home, to no avail. Its
obligations
Professional sent him to Manchester for a quin-fortnight of days, but he
would see his
back: he was keen to talk to him.
Natasha crumpled the paper and threw it into the trash. Whatever he may
say, the situation
remain unchanged.
A week passed, routinely and morose. Moreover, a secret anxiety
became gradually
companion of the girl. Unable to concentrate on his work, she came to
lose your appetite,
then sleep Natasha was afraid of being pregnant ...
- Whether he arrives? Nigel impatiently a day. You are in love? Do you

give me a few minutes of attention?

She kept smiling as she wanted to scream. What other stance to take?
She dared neither to trust nor ask anyone's advice. In the office, she had
no pretty close friend. She ended up buying a test. His fears were
confirmed: she was waiting
a child ...
She had not considered the possibility. The pain of his broken
engagement, the
shame, contempt of itself after that night spent with a stranger had so
filled his
spirit she had not thought about the consequences of his folly.
After this sudden revelation, she found herself in her quiet apartment as
a
trapped animal.
What would she do now? He had to face the situation; it could
indefinitely shut up.
It should be resolved sooner or later to tell his parents, his boss ...
The girl took her head in her hands trembling. Mr. and Mrs. Blairy
granted a
great importance to morality, respectability. They would be outraged by
learning such
... If the new baby was Mike, maybe they would have forgiven since
young people

were to be married.
But the idea of their reaction when they announce that she knew nothing
of the father,
only his name, she had never met before that fateful evening, she wanted
disappear into a black hole.
She spent the whole night sitting in his chair, looking for a way out. His
future
loomed as well auspices dark and she could only blame herself. No
Atte-nuante circumstance, no excuse could soften his sentence.
Pale, with sunken eyes, she saw the day getting up on this dreary
Sunday. A noise
bottles in the street pointed his way slag. He was late.
His neighbor lit his radio: he listened to pop music all day. The shouting
an argument somewhere in the building also reached him. Natasha
stopped his ears.
Lack of sleep added to his distress even louder dismay. The space of a
moment she saw him walking toward the river and plunge without
hesitation, without looking back More ...
that vision will not appeased; she would not escape his fate in this way,
she knew.
How would she get through the coming months? The contemplation of
London brought him roofs
not the answer to this question.

She started violently when someone knocked at the door. She jumped up
then
hesitated ...
But the blows redoubled against the door, as if she resigned herself to go
and open. The heart
Natasha was torn when she came face to Mike ... Like her, he was pale,
his eyes
were identified.
- Hello ... he said in an uncertain tone.

Page 23
The girl held the door instead of opening wide.
- It is useless, Mike, she replied wearily.
- I want to talk to you.
- It's not worth it.
Although he announced he was giving up his mother for her, it would be
useless now.
His foolish behavior had irretrievably ruined their future.
- My darling ... began the young man.
Tears shone in Natasha's eyes.
When he took her in his arms, she laid her head against his shoulder,
trying vainly
stop crying.

He gently stroked her hair and whispered her name against her ear.
- Do not cry, do not cry like that, honey ... I'm sorry ... Natasha, I'm in
Please ...
She managed to swallow her sobs and push him away.
- The regrets are useless, Mike, it's all over ...
- I love you, 'he replied gravely. Perhaps we will require a little more
time? You do not
not know my mother, if only you tried ...
Natasha tried to muster all his courage to tell him the awful truth. The
price of a
huge effort, because the words refused to cross the barrier of her lips,
she managed to say:
- I am pregnant.
A long silence followed.
- What did you just say? Mike inquired, suddenly the traits defeated by a
deadly pallor.
- The night you broke our engagement, I went to a party, I drank too
much and I spent
night with someone, she said with a stroke, as if reciting a text repeated
a thousand times.
During his long hours of reflection, she decided not to coat its history
useless excuses. His parents would be entitled to the same direct
confession.

Forbidden, Mike gazed with parted lips. A deep crimson flushed

suddenly
his face.
- Who is it? he exploded a MECON-nizable voice.
- I can not answer you.
Considering that Lee Farrell was not wearing the responsibility of their
adventure, she would not
the impli-quer.
Mike suddenly grabbed her by the shoulders and began to shake
violently. Rabies distorted
his face.
- Who is it? Tell me! Who is it?
- I can not, 'she whispered, stunned by the brutal treatment he inflicted
him.
- I want to know! How could you do such a thing? My God, how? ...
- I'm sorry, I was not in my normal state ... Oh, do not look at me, I'm in
Please!
- Herries! if he suddenly cried. Herries! He is is not it? He always tried
to you
seduce, this is it!
- Not if she exclaimed, horrified. This is not it!
In an angry and contemptuous gesture, he pushed her away bluntly.

- When I will lay hands on him, I can assure you that I will undertake
her pretty little
little face ...
Terrified, she ran after him.
- Oh, no, Mike! Do not tell Nigel, I beg you!
Mike, please ...
He pushed the girl out of his way and slammed the door behind him.
Appalled, Natasha

Page 24
remained motionless, helpless. It would turn out to Nigel, and she ... She
should resign
shuddered, imagining the reaction of his boss as the rosary of
accusations that Mike would surely
no bludgeon him. She could see the amusement in his eyes, the disbelief,
the flood of questions
follow, eyebrow raising ... His pitiful adventure did not shock, relishing
in it.
Scandals exerted on him a fascinating power ... But she had not the
slightest desire to be
the object of his curiosity ...
Natasha did not dare to take refuge with his parents, afraid to inflict
embarrassment too

profound.
She could not return to the office, because everyone would be aware of
his
mishap. He would have to find a new apartment, a new job, a solution
for
raise her baby alone, without help from anyone. Unfortunately, she did
not see how there
reach ...
She dropped into a chair and remembered that night, his exaltation, that
sense of freedom that had transported under the effect of c .. hampagne .
The small bubble had burst,
and landing was painful ... confident, liberated, full of going, she thought
dominate
situation.
Alcohol had dissipated miraculously depression due to its rupture.
Would she be strong enough to take care of her child alone? The night of
his meeting with Lee
Farrell, his fate had turned a corner. The dice were thrown, and it
measured poorly
the magnitude of loss. She did not know how it would come out, but she
had to get out ...

Page 25

CHAPTER 4
Natasha decided to regroup; it would still not sit there all day,
to soften his misfortune! She put on jeans and a blue shirt, then went out
strolling
along the river. The wind lifted the small ripples on the surface of the
Thames which pursued
slowly making its inexorable course, tossed some moored barges, bent
trees whose
battered branches creaked occasionally. The girl frowned; the noise it
remembered that the door of the cottage Lee Farrell ...
Of course! "He replied when asked if he was haunted ... It was this
Remember that always haunt, now ...
When she returned to her apartment, the air had restored color to his
cheeks,
volume to her hair, and the future seemed less sinister him.
Climbing the stairs, she met her neighbor, an Irish nurse. They
exchanged
some small talk about the time when Natasha heard someone climb the
steps behind them.
She turned mechanically, and his heart stopped beating losqu'elle
recognized Lee
Farrell ... She walked hurriedly toward his door and thrust his key into
the lock. It

was to show off by driving the intruder to the nurse who was watching
them with interest
growing. Neither did she react when he followed her inside.
The mouth suddenly dry with apprehension, she put on her big blue eyes
anxious.
He considered with a wild air ...
- I just had a visit! he threw.
- Visit? she repeated blankly.
- No need to play the innocent, that does not mar-chera!
Puzzled, Natasha was speechless for a moment.
- But what are you talking about? Finally she managed to articulate. And
first, what are you doing here?
I do not want ...
- What you want is a bargain, he severely cut.
This time she looked at him with great amazement.
- I thought I was too old to let myself be fooled by a girl candid, he
continued,
teeth clenched. But it is a lesson ...
Natasha had the feeling of being missed out on the essential, in this
conversation. This was
as if she was trying to reconstitute a play she would have missed the first
act.

- Maybe that 'he would help if you resume from the beginning ... she
said slowly. That
are you doing here, Mr. Farrell?
- You do not know, of course, he quipped.
It seemed hardly contain his anger.
- I have no idea, indeed.
A bad and unpleasant laugh greeted his words.
She shuddered when the gray eyes, cold as steel, scoured the top down.
He
was furious in the morning where they had parted, but not with this
hateful resentment which she
not understand the cause.
He shrugged and put his hands in his pockets.
- All right, if you like fun, well let's have fun! You claim not
know what I mean, but you know as well as I do, is not it?
The irritation was beginning to win.
- If it is you who say it, she muttered.

Page 26
- What? he exploded in approaching her, the body laid by an
indescribable rage.
She looked up at him his face drawn features, once more pale.
- Listen, just trying to expose me the reason for your visit before you go,

Mr. Farrell.
Natasha wondered if she could stand long. Merely watching
filled him with great weakness. The man's voice had lost its warmth,
softness but
it evoked in her the painful memory of that fateful night.
- I received a called Porter, he declared finally.
- Oh ... is she exclaimed, appalled by impli cation of this revelation.
Mike How had he found? Nigel, of course ... Nigel had told him ... How
there had not she thought of it before? No doubt she was too
preoccupied to imagine the reaction of his
boss speech of his fianc.
- I see that we are beginning to understand us, he remarked.
Natasha blushed suddenly he knew, the baby ... At the height of
embarrassment, she
would rather go underground instead of meeting his gaze. She turned
away and walked
in the room as if to escape the grip of these ice eyes.
- I was asleep when your fianc rang. I come from the United States, and
I tried to
recover some, it is a tiring journey.
Mike How could he do that? if she asked miserably. Her delicate
usual ...

- When I was able to emerge from sleep, he continued, I went down and
I
opened the door.
An individual then broke into me like a cannonball. I was not very
woke up and before I had time to react ground, he killed me a good
punch.
She suddenly dropped into the nearby chair and took her face in his
burning
hands. The voice of his visitor, who continued his story, the froze like a
winter wind.
- He then overwhelmed me a rosary of insults without bothering to show
up or
even to explain what he was doing at home. I was mad, a prey to
delirium
any ...
- I'm sorry, Natasha whispered.
- I do not doubt he retorted tit for tat.
- I had not told her anything, she clarified, looking up.
Tears shone in her eyes.
- You really think I'm an idiot!
- Not at all!
- Ah ... maybe he has learned my existence in a crystal ball?
- No, but Nigel was informed ...

The long silky hair of the girl swept her shoulders to her every
movements.
- Nigel? he repeated, frowning. He who accompanied you to the party?
The fool in the sports car?
She just nodded.
Lee Farrell began nervously pacing the room back and forth along. She
was not looking,
but she guessed that the struggle going on within him: uncertainties,
doubts, anger attempting
Always check ...
- Look, I do not know how he found out, but he would not have tried to
blackmail me if ...
- Get sing? Does the cut, abasour-die.
He stopped before her and squinted while staring at her.
- Yes, a very nasty expression, is not it?

Page 27
he quipped with an ominous smile. And a good project also low.
- What do you mean by that? she asked in a flat voice. What are you
currently
tell me?
- This is not true! You keep playing the innocent? It is you who have
sent

Porter find me ...

- No! she screamed in horror.
- Yes! He did not act on his own. I have never met as talented actress
you!
You are very clever ... I do not know man abusing me to let me as a kid.
You have organized your plan, both ... But I'm not that naive. I demand
that you
might encounter a blood test I have to know if I'm the father, before
anything else.
- A ... a blood test? she stammered, overcome with amazement.
- I want proof that this baby is mine.
His mouth was an unpleasant trick.
- Although ..., 'he continued, I'm sure he is.
You would not have taken the risk to mount such machination if it were
that of another.
However, I will not pay anything until you have proof.
Natasha jumped up. A splitting headache pounding his temples suddenly
:
- But I do not want ...
- My dear, what you want does not matter to me. From now on, it is I
who
gives instructions. When it is born, you will disappear forever, and I will
keep the child.

- Listen! exploded the girl who believed crazy.

The whole story seemed totally implausible him. Mike, extort money,
blackmail! It was unthinkable. Perhaps they were victims of a
misunderstanding.
Lee Farrell interrupted in turn.
- I understand Porter, thank you, he sliced. Further explanations are
unnecessary. He has
at least the quality to go straight to him. If this child is mine, I will
repay. Certainly tonight
has cost me dearly, but I can bear to know that my child is raised by a
mother
also false, as hypocritical as you! You are despicable.
She turned pale under the insult.
- From now on, we will do things legally. My lawyers will prepare a
note
when you have undergone exams. You sign, you will get the money only
after, and if
you dare try to meet again, the baby and me, you'll be in serious trouble.
Be sure
you will have no recourse, everything will be provided for this purpose.
After a long look full of all his hatred, he turned and walked out, leaving
the girl
prostrate.

She jumped when the door slammed violently, and, trembling, she ran
after him. But
he descended the stairs four at without looking back.
Natasha tried to catch however; once in the street, she came face to face
with Mike
coming out of his car. The young man kissed the scene of a glance; he
fell into step
Lee Farrell and strongly stood in front of him to force him to stop. They
fought for a moment
silence, like two beasts before the fight. The girl stumbled towards them
stammering words
intended to prevent the altercation. Farrell turned to her with a caustic
air, then he went up
his car and drove off in a squeal of tires.
- So he came, 'said Mike. I should have guessed ... What did he want?
- Come on, she said, heading toward the building.

Page 28
He followed her. Once on the landing, Natasha heard the door of the
nurse to close
softly. These events seemed decidedly inte-resser ...
- Why did you go home? she asked her fianc when they were immune
from

eavesdroppers. How could you, Mike?

- Why I went to him? he raised a scathing voice. You ask me a question
like, after what he did? But I would have been able to kill him!
Natasha shuddered.
- You have no right.
- No right? While we were going to marry?
He looked now as if he had never seen before.
- You came to break our engagement him she remembered.
- Oh, Natasha ...
The young man turned away and lowered his head like a child caught.
But he
... suffered the verge of tears, she approached him and placed a calming
hand on his shoulder.
- Mike, I beg you ...
- You can not imagine how I feel ...
How could you take you so? How to ...
She could not see her face, but she felt the pain in his voice.
- You have never allowed to venture beyond a few kisses me, I accepted
of atten-dre ... and suddenly you give yourself to a stranger?
- You're still not believe that I acted on purpose? I had too much to
drink, I've told you ...
A shudder ran through him.

- It was he, this bad guy ... He is known for his female success, as
Herries. When
a girl he likes, he does not waste his time ...
She thought he was not wrong! All he had to remember how Lee Farrell
had
distant from Nigel, that night ... His head was spinning ...
- Yet I was sure it was Herries ...
Natasha listened, ashamed and miserable. How dare look his boss in the
face,
now?
- Farrell This is only a playboy, women jostling at his door, he
continued.
Moreover, while I was talking to him, a girl came out of the bedroom
wearing only a red and ...
without embarrassment! He lives in a real palace ...
He paused and put his haggard eyes on her companion.
- Oh, you really chose your man for revenge ...
- But I ...
- Needless to deny you resented me to death because I refused to give up
my mother
you.
- You are mistaken, Mike! I have absolutely not acted deliberately. I
drank too much

champagne ...
He gave a mocking laugh, and Natasha felt overcome with sudden anger.
- After all, said she, what does it importe- you? We are no longer
engaged. You
blame myself because your mother can not stand me, but it does not
support the woman
Kenneth, is not it? She will never accept that anyone who comes
between her son and herself,
she wants to keep you both for itself that's the problem ...
She paused at the sight of defeated young man's face.
- This is not true! if he exclaimed.
- Really? Have you ever bothered to talk to Kenneth? she asked a

Page 29
voice suddenly softened to the distress of the young man.
- How can you emit such suppositions when you do not even know my
brother?
- Your mother told me about him and his wife in a sufficiently eloquent.
Mike, it
left me no chance. If you had not pushed so hard for her to live with us,
if you had deigned to listen to me ... but it's too late now.
- Natasha, why have you done this?
He seemed totally hopeless now also afflicted herself.

- I repeat ... I was unhappy, I lost my head.

- And you met this lout. I should wring his neck!
The girl hesitated a moment before asking:
- He says you wanted to extort money ...?
Taken aback, Mike opened his eyes.
- What?
- It seems you tried to exert blackmail on him.
- Such a liar! Blackmail? But why ...
It suddenly seemed to remember one important detail:
- Ah ... I ... I told him he was going to pay us, but that's it. I have never
spoken
money.
- I suspected that it was a misunderstanding, she sighed, relieved.
- That's why he came to see you? he asked, frowning.
She nodded.
- He thought you wanted to extort a sum ...
- Oh, I'd be able to kill him! muttered between his teeth.
- That's enough, Mike.
The impulsiveness of youth had caused enough damage yet.
- You never see it again, and you will not see me more.
He turned quickly to put on her a pained look.
- Natasha ..., 'he began, taking a step toward her.
- No, she said, stepping back. It's all over.

He seemed distraught, but he knew it as a gulf separated them forever,

now.
- How will you deal with this situation?
he asked in a faltering voice.
- One way or another, he'll have.
- If you need anything ...
She shook her head.
- Thanks anyway, she smiles.
He looked down for a moment.
- It is also the Farrell problem, he whispered.
- No, she once declared in a firm and determined voice. This is mine and
only the
mine.
- You do not realize, Natasha, it will be very hard!
- I'll come through.
- You're going back with your parents?
She would not answer, but she continued:
- Perhaps, she said.

Page 30
He seemed relieved, and she was happy.
- That would be the best solution, he estimated.
She wanted him to leave now. Some time ago, they envisioned a future

happy with optimistic confidence. Today, their projects were reduced to

ashes.
Only loomed before her claims tomorrow.
- You better leave me, Mike, she asked, seeing that he could not bring
himself to do it
farewell.
But he remained motionless, plagued by confused emotions.
- Natasha, I ...
- Please, there is nothing more to say now.
He closed his eyes a moment, then finally resigned himself to kiss her
briefly on the cheek.
- Good luck, 'he whispered.
She waited until he was out to let the tears stream down her cheeks.

Page 31
CHAPTER 5
That night, she listened quietly to the radio when someone knocked on
his door. Natasha
parted and carefully flushed recognizing Nigel. He held the door with
one hand as
it was expected that the girl slams in his face ...
- I want to talk, he said.

- Please, let me ... she stammered in a voice trembling while her

embarrassment
and distress.
- You should listen to me, however, he insisted, pushing the door
slightly.
Natasha stepped back, and the young man entered.
- You know that Mike Porter came to see me? he continued.
- Yes, she nodded, wondering why Nigel was there.
Maybe he burned to discover other piquant details about his
misadventure? She had
never felt great sympathy for him, but at that moment she hated him.
With its
unhealthy mentality, he would not fail to peddle the news of his sad
story and embellish
in its own way ...
- You have not had any luck, he remarked, apparently seriously.
She looked at him and saw, surprise, he watched with attention devoid
of
malice.
- I understand that you have no desire to talk about it, but I wanted to
make sure that
it changes nothing between us ... or regarding your employment, he
added, lingering on the

pale face of the girl. These are things that happen, you know, we make
errors. I suspected that you would be embarrassed, but I do not want to
lose you. You are a
excellent secretary. I wish your leave to your ... you come to work
normally.
To his amazement, Natasha noticed that Nigel was embarrassed. His
face was colored, and
unsteadily.
- Thank you, 'she muttered under his breath.
- That must have caused a terrible shock ...
She just nodded and looked away.
- I just wanted to save you an additional concern about your future
professional, he continued, already heading for the door.
You need to know more where to turn, I guess. I can not imagine facing
you
this situation without a ...
He stopped abruptly but soon resumed,
- Anyway, do not worry unnecessarily.
No one in the office will not judge you, we are all very broadminded.
You have had bad luck, but that could have happened to anyone.
Natasha reproached himself for having misjudged Nigel. Touched by
this unpredictable meekness, she
held him when he was going out. He looked hesitantly.

- I have not told anyone, thought it good to clarify before engaging in the
cage
stair.
The girl no longer doubted his sincerity. A slight smile played on his
lips. It
should learn not to wear too hasty judgments, and not condemn people
on
appearances ...
That night she went to bed with a lighter heart. Do not be forced to leave
in search of

Page 32
new job, to face the curious eyes of his col-guages of the office, which
would not
failed to laugh at her behind her back, eased considerably. Only
remained to solve
financial challenge of his new position.
The next day, however, on the way to the agency, Natasha felt very
nervous. It was
with a fixed smile and holding a little steep it crossed the corridors that
led to his
office.
Nigel came later. At first the girl avoided eye contact with him, but as

the day progressed, she managed to relax. His boss deployed an

overflowing activity; it
worked in spurts and was that day in one of his creative phases.
Endowed with
inexhaustible imagination, he led gradually Natasha in the hot stream of
ideas, so
she finally forget about problems. At no time did he accosted personal
matters.
This inventive mood gave it an undeniable charm, and one of the team
of cartoonists who
came to submit his project did not fail to succumb to it. They exchanged
eloquent glances.
The young man finally set it a go "professional."
Then he began to whistle, and Natasha could not help but envy his
happy nature.
Nigel was a hedonist, a lover of pleasure; He took life with a lightness
sometimes
disconcerting but friendly. Eager not omit any of his ideas, he held his
secretary
later than usual so she notes carefully. She did not held against him
for she loved his work and he was on the other hand, deeply grateful for
her
understanding.

The bus that brought her back in her neighborhood are difficult spawned
its way into the
heavy traffic in London at the end of day. A crowd of pedestrians
crowded the hurry
sidewalks. Through the glass, Natasha looked at the unknown faces with
the feeling of being a
foreign, to come from elsewhere, do not belong to this world of busy
people.
She was desperately trying to get used to the new reality that would now
be hers,
ineluctably. Nobody could have suspected the inner distress that lived.
But his
body secretly housed another life, and that presence had the power to
transform
During his fate.
She remembered her breakup with Mike in the park. If it had deployed
more
skill, if Mike had shown less blind if it had not unwisely accepted the
invitation
Nigel, if she had not drunk so much if she had not followed Lee Farrell
... if ... What if ...
His fault because of his unconsciousness of a night she was brutally
confronted

an unknown and uncertain future, but she had to face it.

Once home, she dined with a mixed salad and a little cheese. She had
just
ridding when she heard a knock. Natasha wondered for a moment if she
was going to answer ...
Someone knocked again, and she heard the voice of the nurse. It
therefore decided to open, however she had
surprised to discover his neighbor in conversation with Lee Farrell ...
- I'm off, 'said the Irish with regret. I'm on duty that night ...
- Good luck, managed to articulate Natasha.
Lee Farrell stepped quietly at the girl, without even giving him time in
the
prevent.
He stopped in the middle of the room and began to contemplate his
shoes, as if they
exerted on him a sudden fascination ...
- Mr Farrell, she began, I was going to write you this evening to inform
you that
you to misunderstand ...
- I know, he's cut.
- You ... you know? she was astonished.
- Porter came back to me, he explained, looking up. That's why I'm here
to

Page 33
excuse me.
- Oh ... merely she responding, relieved not having to explain itself
he was wrong.
- He was furious and I have misinterpreted his words ...
- Yes.
- I treated you in an unacceptable way, he went on with the recital
concern.
- You were upset ...
- To say! he looked with a hard laugh. I'm a very powerful man and I
offer
some undoubtedly a very easy target ... When Porter started threatening
me at
assert myself that I would pay him, I made the mistake of taking him at
his word ...
- I understand, she whispered, eager to see him go. Forget it.
- The subject may be closed for you but not for me. I blame myself
terribly
you have insulted as I have done in the state where you are.
The torments should not leave you much respite ...
- It does not matter, think no more.

If only she could forget her misery from the day before and the morning
after ... She
only had to face its future, and the presence or the memory of Lee
Farrell would help in anything,
on the contrary, it would only complicate a situation that was already at
the highest point.
- Do not think about it?
He put on her lively gray eyes suddenly a muffled violence.
- Are you serious? How the hell do not think that you carry my child?
Natasha blushed.
- Mr Farrell, since you seem willing to listen to me now, be certain
I do not expect anything from you, or anyone else. I go out in one: it is
the problem
mine, not yours.
- But this is my child!
- No, it's mine.
He had an impatient gesture.
- Listen to me, when we were two ...
- Be quiet! I just want you to leave. Forget that we definitely
we met.
- Do not be ridiculous and cruel! he thundered.
The menacing fury that emanated from him startled Natasha. It was as if
she

had opened the door of a furnace whose wild flames would come to
burn.
He noticed her cringe, observed a moment the little face contorted with
nervousness
and approached her.
- Be realistic, 'he went more slowly. You need help, and I'm the only one
to help. How do you count to take without me? We did not even
by the.
- Know that I think about it day and night, she said with a bitter smile.
He wanted to stroke the dark hair soft, tomorrow Damn I 3.
but she dodged his gesture mechanically. He dropped his hand and
stiffened:
- We have obviously a solution, and you know as well as me: we
we must marry.
Natasha looked at him, eyes wide with amazement.
- Getting married?
This possibility had not occurred to him for a moment. Lips yet

Page 34
parted under the effect of surprise, she shook her head with Vehe-starts.
- I will never marry you, it would be worse than anything!
- Worse? he repeated.

- I'd rather have my child alone, rather than cluttering me a husband I

have
not selected.
Bewildered by the turn the conversation had taken, she realized too late
that she
had insulted him. She saw pale under the influence.
- I'm sorry! hastened she added. I have not expressed myself as I would
have done ...
- Indeed.
- Listen, you know very well that I did not want this baby any more than
I want ...
- Of me? he cut sharply.
- A husband I hardly know, she corrected quietly. Besides, you do not
want
any more than I that union. Finally, we saw maybe two or three times ...
- Still, we had a night in complete privacy, he reminded him with a
indecipherable smile that made her shudder.
- You understand me very well, she retorted with obvious hostility.
Think,
Mr. Farrell, such a marriage would be a disaster, he would not have any
chance to succeed. However, it
is not recommended that a child grows up in an atmosphere of discord.
He looked in silence for a moment before noticing:

- Look at the situation objectively, would you? How would you take
to raise this child alone?
- I have not yet considered all possibilities, but at first, I will keep
my job. Then, well, I will advise ... There is always a solution if we take
the trouble to
look.
Lee Farrell walked to a chair where he Intalla folding his arms behind
his head. His
black hair gleamed in the lamplight. He seemed pensive ...
- Sit down, he suddenly threw.
This brief order the bristled:
- Mr. Farrell ...
- Sit down!
This time, his injunction cracked like a whip, and Natasha obeyed. In
relief
she felt, she then became aware of the weakness of his legs. She crossed
her fingers
her lap to hide their trembling.
- How old are you? he went on.
- But what ...
- How old are you!
- Twenty-two years old, she began ... Almost, she added, when she
reluctantly

met the gray eyes which scrutinized.

- You have twenty-one ...
She nodded reluctantly.
- But I am able to support myself, she clarified. I do not need your
help ...
- Yes, I had a brief overview of how you take care of.
- That was different! I lost my head that night. - You were unhappy and
you
acted without any caution.
- I will not commit such a mistake again! I'm not a natural
carefree.

Page 35
- You let your emotions control you, he insisted, looking at her with an
air
indecipherable.
Like many women, moreover ...
- Is this an accusation?
- A simple statement. As your fellow, you tend to act first to
then think. This behavior proves sometimes Desas-Montreux.
- Only for men bombarding him with such generalities about women!
- You are very wrong in believing you capable of taking a single
education

child. Either way, whether you like it or not, this baby is mine.
Uncomfortable, Natasha shifted in his seat:
- Although accidentally ... It could have been ...
She stopped suddenly in front of metallic luster of her eyes, the hard line
of his
mouth.
- You excel when it comes to use of deadly words! if he won. He could
have
be that of any man, right?
Crimson, the girl did not answer.
- But it was not just any man, precisely, he continued his teeth
tight. As a father, I am responsible for the child, what it costs you, and I
hear
exercise my rights: stick to it to say.
Tears filled the blue eyes of Natasha.
- I ... I do not want to hurt you, but ... can you understand how I feel
?
- I understand perfectly, on the contrary, he cut. Like Porter.
- I still love, she confessed in a sob.
Unable to continue, she buried her face in her hands: her tears were right
her.
After a moment, Lee Farrell sat on the arm of his chair. He put an arm

around her shoulders and pulled her against him. She then found her face
against his chest without
having made the slightest gesture to escape the contact. With infinite
tenderness, he began to fondle
Natasha hair, and little by little, her tender attentions managed to calm
her down.
- Wear not forgive you? he asked.
She just shook her head.
- It seemed rather aggressive and unsympathetic, he remarked, almost to
himself.
- It is not so! does she defended immediately, tearing from his grasp.
She immediately regretted not to feel reassuring those around her arms
...
- It was a shock for him too, do not forget, 'she said. What a waste ...
- If you had loved her, he would have admitted to being partly
responsible for your misfortune.
- It would not have changed the fact that I expect the child of another.
Anyway, his mother
would reveled the situation. Although Mike asked me, I would marry her
more now.
He watched for a moment curiously.
- You are terribly stubborn, he remarked at last, and you design integrity
with

well agreed criteria.

- Thank you, 'she said in a half-smile.
He gently lifted her face to the girl. Then he took out his handkerchief to
wipe
gently tears still glistened on his cheeks. They looked for a moment and
he said:
- I am going to open a bank account.
- No ... if she exclaimed!.
But he put a finger to his lips to silence him.

Page 36
- You do not have the choice: either you SPOUSE sez me, either you
accept an arrangement
legal. Do not bliez-or I could go to court ...
- In court? Do not be ridiculous! You bring the court?
- You would not lie to a judge, he said mockingly. You
would admit that I am the father of the baby, and the court would grant
me a say on his education.
- But it sounds like blackmail!
- Do not make me come to that end rather accept my assistance. You
are not forced to use the money right away, but I want to lighten your
task, one way
or another.

- That's ... that's very kind of you, 'she whispered, again in tears.
He looked at his trembling lips.
- You accept?
She nodded reluctantly and gave him an uncertain smile.
- I appreciate your attention.
An awkward silence fell between them, as if suddenly they saw nothing
more to
say. Finally, Natasha asked politely:
- Can I offer you a coffee?
- With pleasure, he nodded.
She walked to his small electric stove.
While she was busy, he threw on a circular piece look.
- You know, he noticed, you can not stay here very long. When your
owners will realize ...
- I know, it does cut.
- I'll find you something better.
- No! she defended herself immediately. You do not do anything! So
stop trying at all costs
you interfere in my life. I'll manage quite well alone.
- Okay, okay, okay ... Do not take the fly again. And your family? Are
they
know?

Natasha shook her head. The kettle began to whistle and the girl was
slow pass
coffee before serving.
- I should tell them, of course, but ...
- Can you solve it?
- That is to say ... I will cause them such grief ...
Lee Farrell brought the cup to his lips. Natasha sat down across from
him.
- All would not it be easier if you agreed to marry me, Natasha? he
asked he
softly.
- Oh no! I would have to overcome another category of problems, that's
all.
- If you prefer to face such a reality rather than a marriage between us ...
The tone of his voice echoed oddly in the ears of the girl.
- If I cross unscathed the next two years, I will be out to me, and if I
your wife, it will be facing a lifetime!
- Obviously, he looked rather curtly, I am deeply adverse to your
eyes.
- Excuse me ... I did not mean ...
- Do not return to what is said, he cut coldly. I had the weakness to offer
a helping hand, and you make me feel badly that it was beautiful
illusions.

- You do not understand me! she protested.

That night ... was an accident. It is as if I had been taken in a trap.
- And you do not intend to marry the person responsible for the
accident?

Page 37
- No, she sighed with a smile.
He swallowed his coffee, put down the cup and stood.
- Good night, Natasha, he threw before quickly closing the door behind
him.
He disappeared without giving him time to decipher the strange
expression that had darkened his
face.

Page 38
CHAPTER 6
Some time later, Natasha was working in his office when Sonia Warren
made
burst into the room surrounded by a cloud of heady perfume.
- Nigel is there? she asked with the girl.
The latter shook his head while continuing its ranking. Sonia then sat on
the edge

office folding his long legs sheathed in silk in a graceful but studied
position.
She was a very provocative femininity in her green dress plunging
neckline.
- Can I help you? Natasha inquired politely.
- Not really. I wanted to talk to Nigel personally.
- He'll be back in an hour. Should I tell him to call you?
- Yes, please.
Sonia put both hands flat and leaned slightly back by raising
head slightly in a position she used glad to offer its
admirers sculptural profile. She never forgot to emphasize its sensuality
character.
Usually she ignored
Natasha, now she strutted before her with a hint of malice.
- Have you seen Lee Farrell lately? she asked.
The girl felt her cheeks redden. The other immediately regarded with
accrued interest.
- Not lately.
In reality, she had seen two days earlier.
- It is not hard, is not it? whispered Sonia, who discovered her more
openly
play.
She looked at Natasha with an air of pity and added:

- I should not have to tell you this ... but we do not immediately know
who you are dealing
when alongside the ever so slightly? Oh, I would hate to hurt you, my
dear ...
- You do not weary me, said Natasha considering his visitor without any
amenity.
- Note ... We must recognize that you are not strong enough to subdue a
man
like him.
You are too wise.
- Or too dull, perhaps?
- Let's see! exclaimed Sonia with a honey-lous smile. Do not make me
say that! You
have instead a charm ... particular.
She examined the girl with a look so much talking that it no longer
doubted
she found her terribly insignificant ...
- It is certain that Lee spoiled for choice with his job ...
To his surprise, Natasha realized then that she knew nothing about it.
- What is he doing? she asked involuntarily, driven by curiosity.
- You do not know then?
- He did not inform me.

- He leads the Starlight discs for only five years, but the company
already knows
considerable expansion.
- I've never heard of, noted Natasha.

Page 39
Granted it was following the music news that from far away.
- Lara Brennan records home, Sonia clarified with some emphasis.
- Lara Brennan ... repeated the girl. Yes, I heard his last success on the
radio.
- It is also the last mistress dated Lee Farrell ...
An evil smile lit up the face of Sonia, and she did not scruple to observe
the effect
of his perfidy on his victim. The latter could not help starting; she
hastened to
look down.
- Really? she managed to say.
- Yes, she is quite type, huge eyes, an angel face ...
The ringing phone interrupted and Natasha answered. Sonia took the
opportunity to slip away,
not without recalling the girl to inform Nigel for his visit.
Soon after, Natasha looked out the window, his-tender. Why the
revelation of Sonia

she would have astonished? The behavior of Lee Farrell, the night they
met, did not he
gave a very eloquent image of his manner with women? It would have
been madness
imagine that that night was different. She had just given him the
opportunity to add a
conquer more to his list: it represented nothing else for him ...
But why the evocation of their adventure was she suffering? She was not
in love
him ... It was stupid to be shaken by the chatter of this woman. What the
deuce
she could wait a fleeting hug?
An hour later, Nigel excitedly burst into the office. He had snatched a
major contract to a rival. He showed good humor when he suddenly
stopped to
observe more carefully his secretary.
- It will not do, is not it? You are very ill ... but I quite what you
need to address it!
The girl stiffened immediately and put on him a marked look of
defiance.
- Wait, wait! he defended himself. Do not throw a stone at me without
hearing me. I'm going

see a new play at the Apollo tonight with friends. We have a ticket too,
why do
not you join us?
- It's very kind of you, 'she said hesitantly.
- I think this show please. Rassu-ground you, we will protect you for six
! he said, slightly annoyed. This will change the ideas.
- I accept with pleasure, she nodded, a little ashamed to always
suspected Nigel
feed unmentionable intentions.
It was not so black she liked to imagine.
- We planned to dinner afterwards, because before the curtain we do not
have
the time.
- Okay, she smiled a little shyly. On the other hand, Sonia Warren came
to you;
she wants you to remember.
- Well, well ... he said with a sudden interest.
What can she want me? ... Pass Me in my office, will you? he said
before
disappearing into the next room.
- Sonia? Natasha inquired when she had the young woman on the phone.
I for Nigel
you ...

His interlocutor gave a small tinkling laugh.

- My poor darling, but I already had, Nigel, if you want to know ...
Refusing to lend to the pun, Natasha hastened to put it online. She
sometimes surprised to want to work in another medium as advertising,
at an attorney

Page 40
or accountant, for example, where people like Nigel and Sonia would
not have the opportunity to
give vent to their schemes and where they would not maintain the same
relations.
The girl felt uncomfortable in the Artwork where "sex" was holding a
spot if
important: helping to promote some products it was openly present in
many
relations between employees of the company. As for her, she had
gradually accustomed to impersonate
naive and left; she conceived, indeed, life differently. Maybe its
footprint Education
a very strict morals, she explained her attitude?
What irony! she thought. Who knew Natasha Blairy this good girl and
old game, would have lost the head space of one night to the point of
return now pregnant?

That evening, theater, dining room greeted with a noisy enthusiasm.

Natasha
would have loved to share the general merriment, but she could not.
- You seem like very little, Nigel pointed out to him at intermission.
- I'm sorry, if she apologized by offering him a smile as kind as possible.
- It does not matter, the young man, patting her hand. We will try
to remedy.
- We begin by offering you a drink!
launched one of the group members.
The bar was full when they arrived. Natasha found himself standing
among these people, to
pretend to listen. At the bottom of herself, she had only one desire: to
find a peaceful five
apartment.
She could not yet be integrated into this very nice group. The feeling of
being
different, not to be really there never left.
- But you do not drink! Nigel exclaimed when he saw that the glass of
the girl
was always full.
- Do not worry, she replied, determined to never let stun by
alcohol.
Once was enough for him ... It was only when they rejoined their seats it

aperCut Lee Farrell, in a box. Beside him stood a young redhead wearing a
coffee-colored dress. When Natasha saw slipping her arm through his
companion, she could
help starting. She immediately looked away, furious to react that way.
He ... not
not for him! Had she not pushed bluntly?
There was nothing between them but a few hours of madness ...
She settled down and dipped himself in the reading program, determined
not to attempt a
look at him ...
After the last encore, they came out to mingle with a dense and talkative
crowd in front
theater.
- We're going to dinner, now reminded him Nigel.
- Oh, I ... 'she began.
But the young man took her hand and shook her gently.
- Do not say anything! Nigel knows better than you what to do.
- Excuse me, suddenly made a deep voice behind them.
A man was trying to break through between the two young people and
the crowd.
Unlike Nigel, Natasha did not need to turn around to recognize that
voice.

It was strangely shaken by the particularly hard, dry tone of Lee Farrell.
For just a moment, their eyes met, but she hastened to look away.
The image of that great soft and slim body dressed in a dark suit and
elegant stood for a moment
printed in his mind. It gave off a sensuality that would not let insensitive.

Page 41
The young redhead with him. Clinging to his arm, she tried to keep as
Somehow, too on her high heels.
- Yikes! exclaimed Nigel.
Not only Farrell had not greeted them, but he did not seem the same
recognize ...
Natasha did not raise his remark; She watched intently the street where
the gradually reduced to
taxi rank which carried the audience to unknown destinations. The blood
was beating her
ears; she felt more lost and more alone than ever.
Nigel went to her and said in a voice soft:
- Are you okay?
She just nodded.
- It still would have been we say goodnight!
he added.
- Why would he do? she replied with a shrug.

Now the girl no longer had any desire to go to dinner, but she could
reconsider Nigel would not permit. She tried is to do well and managed
to
almost to hide her sadness.
- You had a good time? he asked, dropping it later before
his door.
- Excellent, she lied with feigned enthusiasm that gave pleasure to the
young man.
- You see, I was right: you have to go out a little. That always helps.
- It's true, she said with a smile.
He came to open her door. Natasha began to fear that he wishes to
accompany
further when she realized her mistake. Nigel's attitude was not the same
since
she was expecting a child. He showed protective and considerate
towards her. No doubt
he felt no more fashionable to play again seducers.
She looked at him with affectionate amusement when he bent to kiss her
gently on the cheek.
- Thank you, Nigel, she whispered.
He blushed slightly.
- Do not thank me, please.
- But you're so considerate ...

He returned to his car with a vaguely embarrassed. Finally, if he liked to

appear in a fantasy day he did not like least behave like a gentleman
when
situation demanded.
That night, Natasha slept a heavy sleep.
It was slow, the next morning, to emerge from sleep. All day, she
felt uncomfortable, strange, without really knowing why.
For several days, she felt the same feelings, so that it ends up Nigel
advise to consult a doctor, but he met with a refusal.
She would have time to resolve it when his condition really require.
On Friday evening that week, she watched a movie on television when
someone knocked at
his door.
She did not expect in the least to receive a visit from Lee Farrell, yet
it was he who stood in the doorway ...
- How are you doing? he asked coldly.
- Very well, thank you, 'she said nervously, without hiding the
annoyance caused him
this unexpected presence.

Page 42
- You do not invite me in?
She hesitated, but he seemed in no decided to turn back, she faded

to let him pass.

He wore a pearl gray lightweight suit that showed off her slender body.
- Maybe you could turn off this? he suggested, pointing to television.
Natasha did so immediately.
- Did you like the play, the other night?
he went on.
- Yes and you?
She welcomed achieve internally to respond as calmly. If she mastered
her
voice, he was not the same for her face. Her cheeks were burning, she
guessed very red.
- Not so much, he said with an indefinable expression.
- Really? she was astonished.
- No, she somewhat annoyed. I was not in the mood to enjoy a comedy
satirical.
"Me neither, really," she mused. Had he found the same provisions
she that night? After all, were they not both victims of the same tragedy?
It
had never questioned the nature of her feelings for him, after all ...
Maybe not accommodated it not so easily to its light weight overnight?
- You were with this idiot of Herries ...
His remark sounded almost like an accusation.
- We were with friends, she corrected.

- I wonder how you can support this fool ...

- I work for him, I'm his secretary.
He had a face more disdainful.
- I see, merely there to comment.
- Nigel is a friend, she prevailed, nothing more!
And yet ... she considered him as recently ...
Lee Farrell glanced around him.
- You have dinner?
She did not have the presence of mind to say yes immediately ...
- So I invite you, 'he added dryly.
- No, thank you, 'she replied, annoyed by his tone brittle and cold.
- Why not?
His gray eyes had darkened almost imperceptibly.
- You spent an evening with Herries, you can pay me well, right?
- I'm not hungry ... but it's very kind of you, thank you. I'm sorry.
- Are you obliged to say so?
- How?
- You address me as if I was afraid you ... Do you think that I do not feel
the
right?
You train consistently a wall of ice between us, when we are together.
- Excuse me, I ...

- Do not apologize, I beg you! he thundered violently. You want me, do

not
right?
- No! she protested, by empourprant again.
- Oh ... But if we were two, right?
- I am aware!

Page 43
- Yet you can not stand me ... You keep me in spite, even if you
are supporting the opposite.
- No, I just think it would be better if we did not meet us.
- Why?
- It is useless.
It was a movement of irritation.
- Whether you admit it or not, I'm concerned too. Want to keep me
away,
as if I was not concerned! Okay, it is you who carry this baby, but I have
anything to
say, I think!
Natasha fell on a chair his legs no longer supported it, she trembled.
- Sit down, Mr. Farrell, she mouthed weakly.
- Lee! he exploded. Damn, my name is Lee! How can you continue to
calling me

"Mr. Farrell"!
- Do not ... do not shout, she stammered with a nervous laugh.
He sat across from her and watched her for a moment.
- And if we were talking, just?
- What do you mean? she sighed.
- We could discuss many subjects?
She looked at him with a weak smile.
- What good ... Mr. Lee. Would it not be better to avoid review?
- Why? cut there.
- Because we have nothing in common.
- How do you know? The only time you could check it, we hardly had
the
time to exchange our ideas ...
- You remind me of that night when I'd love to forget ...
- I had noticed in ... But how the hell would you forget? And for me that
take you?
Natasha frowned and persisted in his silence.
- Despite what happened between us, you apply yourself to treat me as a
perfect
abroad, he continued dryly.
The girl bit her lip without looking up.
- Why do not tear down this imaginary wall you raised between us,
Natasha?

- I do not want you to think ...

She paused, confused and embarrassed.
- What I think what? the he encouraged.
- That I am ...
Certainly, the words escaped him. She felt his stare on her and she
shuddered.
- An easy girl? he continued in his place.
- Yes, she said in one breath.
- Such an idea never crossed my mind, he calmly declarat. And you
would do well to
out of your head. I'm not here with the intent to seduce you again if that's
what
you fear.
- Why did you come ... Do not blame me nurture such suspicions, but
admit?
the reputation that follows you can give pause. Your female success is a
mystery to
person.
Lara Brennan, for example ...
- Lara ... If you want to insinuate that I had an affair with her, well I do

Page 44

dtromperai not: it is true. I am thirty-seven years, Natasha, I'm not a

schoolboy.
- I asked you anything ...
- I am grateful to you, 'he said sarcastically. If I'm here tonight, it's
probably because
I thought of you. What do you believe? This is very new for me too ...
from
the beginning, too.
When we met, I guessed instinctively that it was different this
time, that you were different. The events are then peeled, as in a dream,
were inevitable ...
- Yes, she whispered, inevitable ...
- When the next day you spoke of Porter and you fired me as
you did it, I was furious. I felt ... No matter if he interrupted. Nobody
likes
that they're used self when his emotions are involved. And no man
appreciates that
woman gives herself to him to punish another.
- I did not punish Mike, it's not that.
- I kind of feel that you do not know very well why you have done so,
he noted.
Like many women, you let yourself be tempted by the devil to regret it.

It is therefore normal that you were standing grievance in me since I am

the devil.
This reflection tore a smile to the girl.
- That's better! he said. Your smile is the first thing I noticed ... I
have not seen much of you laugh since.
- I have not had the opportunity.
He nodded, then watched with an indecipherable air.
- Is it really finished with Porter?
She nodded.
- Forever?
Natasha spoke then the existence of Mrs. Porter. He listened attentively,
without taking
party.
- Excuse me if I give you my perspective straightforward, but it is not a
man, if he lets himself be led by his mother as well, 'he said when she
had finished.
He looked at his watch and continued:
- And it still means something to you?
She did not answer.
- It is quite late, however, we could go to dinner slightly, what do you
think?
Because the ice is broken ...
She jumped up.

- I'll put a jacket.

He was right, after all. Why did not they would maintain simple reports
and courteous
?
They went in busy Italian restaurant despite the late hour. An orchestra
played softly on a small stage.
They she enjoyed a melon with Parma ham and spaghetti with tomato.
They talked,
smiled, and Natasha, gradually relaxed. She even ends up feeling fine.
They discussed
literature, music, theater, quietly exchanging opinions, uncovering each
other. Lee
had pleased the girl at first sight and many women had to be sensitive
its undeniable charm. He was not only attractive; it emanated from him a
sensuality
Magnetic inherent to its particularly strong and virile personality.
- This evening you enjoyed? he asked a little later by renewing her
home.

Page 45
- Yes, she said, visibly delighted.
He touched his finger cheek Natasha.
- I will not tell you that I was sure ...

- No, do not tell me, she said, amused.

- I have two theater tickets for next Saturday, you will accompany me?
She hesitated a moment, and the gray eyes peered with a touch of
humor.
- Do not answer no!
- Do I not right?
- No, he decided firmly.
Maybe she was committing the greatest follies, but she agreed.
She went to bed, that night, as happy as she had been for weeks. A little
after,
she plunged with delight into a deep sleep.
They saw each other often and regularly. They evo-querent never his
private life to himself, but
girl assumed that Lara Brennan was holding a spot, and other women
too. However, it
Natasha never had the slightest equivocation gesture. He treated her like
a sister, like a
girl, appeared protective, reassuring. She sometimes irritated by.
No doubt he felt guilty for it, and responsible for it somehow.
She could only be grateful to him; yet she caught herself occasionally to
regret
seeing him since that night ... For a reason she could not explain, their
appointment frequent complicating her life ...

Page 46
CHAPTER 7
One morning, Natasha woke up again in the strange state she had
experienced some
time earlier, but this time without apparent cause weakness that seemed
to want to settle. It
lost her appetite, she loses weight, a disturbing pallor dcolora his face.
One day at the office, she was dizzy and had to restrain himself at the
table not
falling.
Nigel hastened immediately around it.
- First of all, sit him ... he commanded.
You are livid, what's happening?
The girl was able to answer him as she trembled.
- You are sick, he said nervously. You must see a doctor.
- Yes, she nodded weakly.
But deep inside of herself, she had decided to avoid a consultation if she
is
restored.
- Are not you a little too thin ...?
inquired the young man, slightly embarrassed.
- For now, it's normal, she assured.

In reality, it was floating in his clothes now. Certainly, she ate very little
to
Because of his frequent nausea.
- I'll call a doctor, decided the young man anxiously.
- No, I will see my own tonight.
- Are you sure?
- Do not worry.
- It's just ... you really do not seem to go well ...
- I'll be fine, I assure you.
But that night, she felt worse and worse: several times she was on the
verge of
fainting. Fortunately, the next day was Saturday; she would not have had
the strength to
up to seven hours to go to work.
So she did sleep late and went to buy some provisions. After being
forced to
breakfast lightly, it came down to walk along the river. Already, summer
seemed distant.
Trees began to undress for the winter, scattering their russet leaves in
water
gray Thames. Birds perched on lice-saient barges screeches. Large
white buildings, like icebergs gleaming under the autumn sun. Natasha
walked

Slowly, the troubled mind. She thought her family that she had not yet
notified. His
Silence will not protect for long. What would happen when they would
guess? The
perspective of being in the heart of a scandal terrified beforehand.
A line of cars, stopped by a embouteil-lage, filled the street that ran
along the riverbank.
Suddenly Natasha jumped recognizing Lee in a taxi ... He did not look in
his
direction. At his side stood Lara Brennan wearing a black jersey jacket.
She was holding a
animated conversation with his companion, and when she approached
him, Natasha felt falter.
When she saw the hands of Farrell on the shoulders of the young
woman, she turned away, any
scrapie. A veil suddenly darkened his sight and hit a lamppost. She
stepped around him
unsteadily; a low hum rose in her head ...
It will not be remembered very clearly what happened next, but she
found herself lying
on the ground, in the middle of a crowd. The sun-Glait confession, but
she noticed confusedly around
She faces of anxiety and, more clearly, that of Lee Farrell.

Page 47
- What has happened? he asked.
As his heart was pounding, Natasha closed his eyes and remained silent.
- She passed out, they replied in his place.
- Someone should call an ambulance, gave another voice.
- I take her to a doctor, Lee intervened decisively.
He stooped, lifted the girl in his arms and carried her into his taxi. She
did not even
the strength to protest.
He moved gingerly on the back seat; Natasha heard the snoring
engine, the vibrations of the vehicle windows. Then a door slammed and
she heard a female voice:
- What does he?
- She fainted, explained Lee, close to the sick.
- I lead you where? worried the driver. To the hospital?
- No, said Lee. In the address I have indicated to you. I myself will call
the
doctor ... I take you home, 'he added.
Natasha wondered if that last sentence addressed her or another woman.
He
he was still unable to open his eyes. She was cold, terribly cold. The
blood seemed

retiring of its members from his face.

- It looks really bad shape, says Lara Brennan.
Her dress rustled slightly, and a puff of perfume pervades the
atmosphere.
- She's frightfully pale ... 'she said.
You said you knew?
- Yes, she's a friend.
A small crystalline laughter greeted his answer.
- Really? Lara Brennan took on a slightly ironic tone that displeased
Natasha.
- Yes.
- Maybe I should go with you, in case you would need help?
The taxi slowed, then stopped.
- No, I'll manage.
- Are you sure?
- Absolutely, thank you.
- Very well, as you will, abdicated Lara with resentment tip.
The seat squeaked when she got up, and Natasha could hear distinctly
the sound of a kiss.
- Good luck, 'said the young woman of her voice slightly hoarse and
mocking. I hope
it does not matter ... for your "friend". But not long to call the doctor!

The car started up again shortly after; Lee sat next to the girl. Taking
advantage of a
bend, she slid against his companion and he put an arm around her frail
shoulders for
guard against him, but she stiffened and pulled away.
This time, she managed to partially open the eyelids and distinguished
Lee standing over her. He
watching; his dark brows formed a black line above his gray eyes.
- How do you feel?
- A little better, she said, trying to smile.
- This is hardly sees, he noticed with a sudden impatience. What the hell
are you
done to put you in such a state? You look terrible!
- I fainted, that's all.
She wanted her some indulge in anger; she was too weak to
bear their remonstrances.
- Since when have these disorders begin?
They had not seen for ten days, but it seemed to Natasha ten months had

Page 48
passed.
- This is the first time she lied.

In fact, she had unconsciously relegated his physical ailments secondary.

Of
concerns such as how to approach his family, the arrangements when the
baby
would be there, had monopolized all his mind. Now she blamed herself
terribly and began to
tremble at the thought of what the doctor might tell him.
- The first time? he repeated incredulously.
Unable to bear his inquisitive look, Natasha looked away. His silence
like a confession, also he won.
- I do not know what I would do to you ... he uttered between his teeth.
You are the
stubborn ...
He stopped when he saw her shudder with dread.
The taxi stopped; Lee paid the driver. Then he helped the girl down and
took
immediately by the size as it seemed uncertain on his feet. She nearly
protest but found it more
wise to rely on its protective arms.
She did not pay any attention to her surroundings before Lee did
introduce in
a house. She then noticed the white ceiling, very high, spacious and
luxurious lobby. Then

she focused her attention on the steps of a staircase that it was now
climbing.
Once on top, Lee settled on a large bed He looked at her with restrained
irritation.
- Be back in a minute. Do not move!
Natasha heard him away and call, without understanding what he was
saying. His
gaze wandered soon on the room where she was.
The subtle dcor harmoniously allied the modern and the ancient. A
beige carpet and
gold curtains double gave the whole a cozy character. A bouquet of
chrysanthemums
orange lay on a table in the glass tray near the window. Many cushions
broke the monotony of color cream bedspread where she was sitting. A
plant
stereophonic ultramodern almost covered one wall.
Lee came back with a glass of water and handed it to the girl.
- I called a doctor, mine. He's a friend.
He will be here any minute now.
Indeed, Natasha just finished drinking when a blond man, and
endorsement
friendly, entered the room. He did not comment before you finish
reviewing its

ill.
- Lee? You can come back, he said, arranging her stethoscope in her
bag.
The latter complied and turned to the doctor after taking a brief look at
the girl.
- So? he asked.
- Well ... I can not say anything without conducting various reviews, but
I'm
lest we have some problems.
- What kind of problems? Lee asked, frowning.
- Nothing is sure yet, but ...
- I beg you, James, what is it?
- I do not like to say without proof ...
Finally, if you insist ... This young person is at risk of losing her baby.
- Oh! exclaimed Natasha involuntarily.
This possibility had not left over days, but to hear and make high
intelligible voice made him aware of the extent of the despair that
devastate if this
produced ...
- Do not worry, reassured the doctor who had noticed his expression. I
said

Page 49

you risk losing it, I did not say it was safe. If you follow my advice,
nothing like
will happen. Rest, he added, turning to Lee. She must rest. This young
woman is
too thin, it will have to stay in bed for some time, stop working, of
course, and chase all
worries.
Natasha leaned back against the pillows, trembling.
- You will get to the hospital for your exams: I take care of everything
and you
will warn in time.
He then wrote his prescription.
- Of iron and vitamins: you are too weak.
Ensure that it takes them scrupulously, he advised his friend, who
escorted her to
the door.
Natasha remained alone, prostrate, staring, lost in the wave. A sense of
guilt began to dawn: she should see a doctor earlier; why did she
neglected to do so?
- You'll stay here tonight, announced Lee returning a tone without reply.
- It's impossible, she replied weakly.
He took no notice of her answer and lifted her in his arms to take her to
another

room. Natasha could no longer distinguish his face as firm and resolute
line of the jaw.
- I refuse to sleep here, I want to go home ... I will not stay in bed all the
same to me
everyday. Not every day! I have to work ... Ask me down, Lee!
- Give me the keys to your apartment, I'll go get your things, he
continued
as if he had not heard.
- So do you not listen to what I just said?
He sat on the bed after placing his burden and without leaving Natasha
time
to understand what happened to him, he began to get rid of her dress.
- But what do you do? if she indignantly, blushing.
- I undress you. Do not worry, I fed no other intention.
- I can charge me myself, it seems to me!
- All right, I give you two minutes and I'll make sure you obeyed me,
he agreed as he walked toward the door that closed behind him.
After a brief moment of hesitation, the girl decided to take off his
clothes. She was
bed, the covers pulled up to his neck, when Lee returned. He briefly
looked a
mocking smile on his lips.
- Shy now? he hissed. Your keys, please, 'said he, extending his hand.

- In the pocket of my jacket, she muttered grudgingly.

- Well, not matter of you to move the bed, before my return, understand?
- This is ridiculous! I'm not a child!
- I'm not so sure, 'he said before leaving.
When he was gone, Natasha eyes scanned the room: a lovely room and
very
Women in a harmony of pink and white. She could not stay here, she
thought. Lee do
not really want. Besides, why would it have been otherwise? She saw
him again in the taxi,
when Lara had entwined ... She saw their tender embrace that clearly
evoked the nature of their
relations. We guessed privacy at the same tone of their voice, the
expression on their faces.
Not if Farrell took care of her, he showed nice for him, it was only
because he felt responsible for what happened to him. Yet in this
misadventure, Natasha
considered himself only offender ...
If it had not been as bad shape, she would up and dressed, and would
have fled.
But a great weariness deprived him all his might. This time, she could no
longer hide the

Page 50
reality: she was really sick.
When she heard the uninsured Lee on the stairs, her heart began to beat
in a way
disorderly. The young man burst into the room, and her gray eyes went
to Natasha.
- You're already better it looks, the colors returned.
In fact, his face was revived when she heard him climb ... but she drove
well
that thought quickly.
- Can I go home now, she ventured.
- No. I brought your things, he said dropping the bedside a small
suitcase.
- Oh ... You were very quick.
He opened the briefcase where the clothes were neatly stacked, and
pulled a shirt
by night.
- Here, put on this.
Instead of obeying him, the girl remained motionless, 96
prey to a silent apprehension. Lee was standing suddenly menacing look.
When bau-cha movement, she thought she fainted.
- Stop! if he cried with a cutting tone, leaning over the bed, the great fear
of

girl.
- Stop what?
- Stop you put in all your statements because you're naked under the
sheets and
we are alone in the same room!
- But ... what do you imagine? Does bre-douilla confusion.
- Oh, do not play the innocent! You com-mencez to shake soon as we
are a
somewhat close to one another, and if you jump inadvertently I touch
you. Do you think I do
have not noticed?
- No need to shout, it is useless ...
- I do not cry! he thundered.
Natasha sank a little deeper into his pillow and Lee Farrell, eyes
anger sparkling, sat down on the bed She could not hold the cloth ... He
violently snatched
hands and the girl stifled a cry of terror. Terrified, she tried in vain to
cover,
under the dark but bright eyes of her attacker. A cold invades ...
- Enough, she moaned, trembling.
- Why is that? he said in a tone douceureux.
The heart pounding, she tried to push his hand advancing inexorably

to its size. Panic now replaced the desire that had made him lose his
head on the evening of their
meeting.
Fear, panic ... because those gray eyes that Parcou-raient his body awoke
to the
sensations she would have liked to know forever asleep. The idea of
succumbing to the new
replissait horror.
To hell with tomorrow! 4.
Lee Farrell ignored the poor resistance that oppo-known to him. He
hugged the waist, bent
on it and pressed against him, immobilizing the whole weight of his
body.
- Why are you so scared? Were not in the least that night ...
And do not look at me like I was a monster!
- Let me ... 'she stammered, ashamed to feel her shudder against
recognizing
throat warmth of his hand, the softness of her long fingers.
Powerless, she closed her eyes when he captured his lips. Unable to
resist more
long, she kissed him and ventured to stroke her hair, her neck, her

Page 51

shoulders. Their embrace is made gentle, tender ... A hot wave

enveloped them and rocked them for a moment.
But suddenly, Lee sat up. He studied the flushed face of the girl before
pushing a
deep sigh.
- You see, 'he said hoarsely. It's not so terrifying after all. You are
Security under my roof, Natasha. I wish you, I will not pretend
otherwise, but you can
rest easy.
I do not come to the door dfoncerai abuse you. You risk nothing.
He stood and held out her nightgown. She dared not look at him.
- Stop just tremble whenever I approach you, 'he added, heading
the door. Would you like something to eat?
- No, thank you, 'she whispered. I'll get some sleep.
He went out. Natasha was dressed then lay under the covers. She hated
since,
in the arms of Lee, she was surprised to secretly crave the caress again
and again ...
She despised. He had to show him he could kiss him and stick him there
so good
seemed. She was inexperienced, but not enough to ignore as he desired.
He wanted her

just like any man would have wished the girl who offered naked in his
arms. If the night
they first met the excess of champagne had provided an excuse, now it
does
was no. His whole being, his whole body is disturbed in contact with
Lee Farrell ...

Page 52
CHAPTER 8
Natasha spent a day in the hospital, and James brought him the results of
the three tests
days later. He sat at his bedside, smiling.
- Okay, well not everything is so black, he joked.
- I will not lose my baby? the girl asked, hopefully.
- If you follow carefully to what they tell you, no. You must stop
to work and lie down as much as possible up to six months. After the
danger is averted.
She looked at him, suddenly very pale.
- But I can not ...
- I'm afraid you have no choice, Natasha. It is crucial that you follow my
guidelines to the letter.
- It will monitor, Lee Farrell cut in a tone without reply.

He sat and listened, closed and hard face. Nervously, Natasha gave him
a brief
look. The doctor got up, still smiling.
- Be reasonable, and all will be well. You want this child, is not it?
She nodded. Oh, yes, she wanted! She wanted him despite all his efforts
to deny
this inescapable reality at first. Then she was surprised gradually to
question ... Who
he look like?
Would it be a girl or a boy? She already amazed by trying to imagine.
She was
give life, and the possibility of losing this little being that slowly took
shape in her the
filled with dread.
Lee joined her after having escorted his friend.
He caught the look-conscious girl. Slowly, she said:
- It remains for me to return to my parents.
No other possibility is only offered to her. How to keep his studio when
she stopped
to work?
- No, he said.
- But I have no choice, she clarified, surprise.
- You will marry me. That will take you out of embarrassment.

Stunned, Natasha's eyes widened.

- Oh no ...
The tone of his voice clearly expressed how much she was this crazy
idea.
- Do not argue! I've thought about ...
- You 've thought! But you have no orders to give me! she exploded,
furious and hurt both.
- You and I know that this is the only solution. Do not run away from
reality, you pale
at the mere thought of facing your parents. Why should I leave you
wrestle in what for
takes you figure nightmare, when I have the chance to get away?
- But neither you nor I want this marriage!
- It is not a question of what we want.
His face was hard, inscrutable.
- We're getting married, 'he said. You will have the baby and then, if you
wish ... we
divorcerons.
It seems to me that thus, in the immediate future at least, the problems
will be solved.
This union of pure convenience offers the advantage of being temporary.
We can break it as soon as we express the will-Rons.

Page 53
The girl thinks. Indisputably, this solution was tempting.
- Agree? the he pressed.
She hesitated a moment, biting his lips.
- If you are sure you do not regret it ... finally she said with a shy smile.
- I'm sure he retorted.
His eyes briefly lost in the wave then added:
- Will you invite your parents to the ceremony?
She quickly shook his head. Perhaps they would not profoundly sad
attend the wedding of their daughter, but it was not a real marriage. It
was a sham, a
comedy, and his family did not need to witness it. She felt unable to play
in front
them in the happy and fulfilled wife.
Natasha met gray and stern look of Lee, and she guessed that her term
included the reason for the refusal.
- Very well, he said for comment. Well, you can not stay here all alone
day. I return to my earlier work, but an old friend of mine is going to
live here some
time, Lucy Truscot: she went to school with my mother. She is a widow
and helps me part time
his spare time to fill his solitude more than financial interest. She will
take care of

you and will take care of the house.

- I do not want you to change anything in your life because of me!
she protested. I already feel guilty enough as it.
- You do not have to feel guilty. Lucy will be delighted.
- More ...
- Do not argue, my decision is made.
Natasha sat in bed Her bare shoulders with its night blue shirt seemed
very pale.
- By what right you allow yourself to decide for me, like I was a child
totally irresponsible? You could at least ask my opinion!
- Okay, he admitted, sitting down beside him with an impatient sigh. I
want to leave
someone with you during the day as my occupations can hold me over to
long hours, and you know one here would prevent me from
concentrating.
Natasha looked at him with some surprise.
- So he went on with a wry smile, expri-mez your opinion since you
insist.
What do you think?
- What do you want me to think? she said nervously. I appreciate your
attention.
- Thank you ...
- Excuse me if I do not show my gratitude with warmth.

He looked at her for a moment with a slightly amused.

- Could we conclude any other contract?
he asked.
- What kind of market?
- Would you stop asking you questions about anything? Whatever it
costs us,
we are one and the other on the same boat. I understand that you refuse
to accept my
help, but you do not have a choice, Natasha: you will become my wife,
and you will rest
during the coming months. Try to be patient, okay?
- Okay, if she resigned sigh.
The next day, James came to visit her sick and Lee told her their
upcoming wedding.
The doctor then insisted that the girl sits down as much as possible
during the day.
- Am I invited? if he informed.
He had not shown any surprise at this news, and Natasha,

Page 54
whose cheeks were flushed, he was grateful.
- Of course, you're invited, his friend replied. But you are requested not
to offer us

toaster as a wedding gift.

- No, actually, I thought of a clothesline, James replied, closing his
briefcase before
to get up.
- To what? Lee exclaimed.
- It is a useful present, James replied, unfazed. You could use you to
attach
Natasha in her bed when she refuses to rest.
Then, when the baby gets here, to expand its outside layers.
- His diapers? Lee repeated with a grin.
- Children bear, assured the young doctor by sending a nod to Natasha.
He
will get used to it. Look at him! It's beginning to wonder if he should not
change his mind.
- Do not exaggerate, defended Farrell with a smile.
- It's funny ...
- What is funny?
- I do not imagine you changing a baby.
- Me neither, Lee confessed, turning to Natasha with an amused air. But
you
I not ask?
- No, she promised, returning his smile.
- When you get married? James inquired before leaving.

- I actually had to discharge formalities, Lee explained. Suffice it

a simple ceremony at City Hall next Thursday at eleven fifteen.
- I'll be there. I would not miss it ... Lee Farrell getting caught in the nets
of
wedding!
- Do not laugh, it could happen to you one day or another ...
The two men left, and Natasha listened to decrease the sound of their
voices as they
descen-daient the stairs. So Lee had already set a date ... The calm, the
naturalness with which he
had left her stunned announce! She still unable to really take
aware of the unexpected turn of recent events, but the fact to hear that
specific provision had been made gave them a tangible reality.
Anxious, she frowned. She was not sure to love the way Lee had
acted. Thursday, smooth and a quarter to eleven ... It sounded like a
business appointment or a chore
any programmed on his agenda after a coffee break and just before lunch
...
He had learned to James without any novel-Semitism, without even
looking, without even
bothering to notify him before! And if he had not asked, probably not
had it been informed at the last moment ... "Be outside the town hall and
a quarter to eleven," he

Would it announced the same morning.

She heard back. He stopped on the doorstep, and she offered him a smile
that
revealed nothing of his disappointment.
- Do you agree? he asked.
- Yes, she replied in a whisper. Yes ...
He studied a bit more carefully, but said not a word. Her acquiescence
was the
meet, or he had asked his opinion of politeness.
Later in the afternoon, Natasha phoned Nigel.
- Natasha! How are you doing?
- Much better, thank you ...
- Great! It is terribly sad here without you. Then answer the phone
myself ...
When are you coming back?

Page 55
- Well, I ... I'm sorry Nigel, but I ... I'm getting married.
- You will ... what?
- Get married, she repeated, glad he could see how his cheeks were from
blush.
- With whom?
- With ... Lee Farrell.

- Lee Farrell! You're getting married with Lee Farrell! Yikes! I would
never have believed
it would come to this ... It's probably because of your big blue eyes! ...
Well, all my
Congratulations!
- Thank you.
Nigel was silent for a moment and then he said, looking a little grumpy:
- I'm glad that everything works out for you.
I admit that worried me your future.
He added, after another pause:
- I went home bring you grapes.
There was no ...
- I'm at Lee.
- I see ... When is the wedding?
- Next week.
- Can I come?
- Of course, she said, while wondering how Lee would react to this
news.
After all, he had invited James. Although it was a quick ceremony, she
appreciate the presence of a person of his knowledge.
When a little later, she informed Lee, he took an annoyed air.
- You invited this fool? he said.
- It can also be very pleasant.

- This should not happen to him often, he retorted dryly. Have someone
else
to invite?
Natasha shook her head.
- No, no.
He put it on his enigmatic gray eyes. Maybe
be he thought that she had few friends. Sure enough, she had only a few
rare relationships. It is difficult to bind, and the hectic life led people to
London
easier way friendship.
- You really do not want to invite your family? You may hurt you
know.
- I know. But when they learn how anxious I get married, they will be
deeply
injured anyway, if not more. I prefer to put the fait accompli, they will
and try to dissuade me.
- Because they try to make you change your mind?
- Yes. My mother inevitably insist on organizing a big wedding with
reception
and all that follows. I would then be obliged to explain that I can not
wait, and it
immediately understand why.
- Natasha, they inevitably learn, sooner or later.

- I know, but it will be easier later. They will not be forced to hide their
sorrow for
play the proud parents see their daughter marry.
He watched for a moment, thoughtfully.

Page 56
- Maybe you're right, after all.
The ringing phone interrupted them and he went down to answer. But
the sound of his voice
succeeded to the girl:
- Lara! if he exclaimed.
His deep voice, warm, seemed suddenly joyous, and a twinge hugged
the heart
Natasha. It is forbidden to put it immediately into the account of
jealousy. She was sad because
it ruined the happiness of Lee posing as an obstacle between him and
Lara Brennan. Maybe it was
more attracted by it than he admitted? He seemed so happy to hear after
... wire
He had suggested to Natasha that its relations with the star already
belonged to
past, but maybe she was the girl misinterpreted the meaning of his
words? They seemed, in

Clearly, though still intimate ...

- Lara, do not be stupid! he said, laughing.
Despite his best efforts, Natasha could not restrain her tears. When she
heard him hang up,
she quickly dried her eyes. She managed to give him a wide smile when
he was with
her, but her fake cheerfulness do not convinced.
- Something wrong? he asked.
- All right, she uttered a false light voice. Who was calling?
- Why?
- Oh, I was just asking myself the question.
- It was not for you, he cut a discourteous tone that surprised.
As she looked at him in astonishment, he continued:
- Was not that what you wanted to know?
What did you hope? It was Porter? He had suddenly realized that he
could live without you?
- No! she said, suddenly furious to hear mention Mike. Not at all!
She tried for weeks to forget his ex-fiance; she had not the slightest
want to be spoken to him now. At the beginning of his break these
painful memories had
tortured without respite.
Then, little by little, Mike had occupied a place in his mind less and less
important.

Contrary to what she expected, instead of exacerbating his love, time

had diminished.
- If you had truly loved Wear ...
- I do not want to discuss with you! she interrupted sharply.
- Do you think I do not know that you still think of him? he said in a
ringing voice
Resentment content that belied the apparent calm of his face. I know it's
true
Because of your pallor. Why do not you admit it? He did not love you
enough to challenge its
mother, and you lose your time dreaming of him.
- I do not dream of it! if she cried, wounded by the harshness with which
he spoke.
- So what did you do?
Instead of answering, she looked down. How could she tell him the real
reason
his weakness? She simply wished he did not guess. Besides, how
suspect it feelings which she did not understand the nature itself? She
felt
unhappy while ignoring why. She tried to ensure that Lee Farrell was
no cause of her distress.
If she had not come into his life like a sleepwalker unconscious of his
actions,

no link could never close the one from the other. So, what did its
relations with
another woman?
He walked over and sat down on his bed Then in a firm but tender
gesture at a time, it

Page 57
put a hand on the throat of the girl.
- No, leave me! she could not help crying.
His fingers stiffened on her skin, and poor flame lit his gray eyes.
Instead
to release it slowly approached hers Natasha's face, and put her lips to
his hot
mouth to impose a ferocious kiss. She tried to push him away but he
shook that more
against him, as a punishment. Without giving him time to catch his
breath, he kissed her
wildly. It hurt him, and nails of the girl sank into the muscular shoulders
that reduced the in-growth impotent. She finally discuss deploying all
forces him
remained, and finally he released her.
Panting, bruised, she leaned back.

Lee suddenly stood up and approached the window. He turned his back,
but it
heard breathing, she saw his body still shuddering, his fists clenched.
Trembling in bed, Natasha whispered in a broken voice:
- Never try to touch me! I could not bear it.
He did not answer immediately and remained motionless, time to
recover his composure, and then,
without looking at her, he silently left the room.

Page 58
CHAPTER 9
The next day saw the arrival of Lucy Truscot.
Natasha found her immediately sympathetic with his smiling face, his
curious gaze and
full of goodness. Small, slim and lively, she was busy in the house like a
bee gathering nectar in
a garden. No doubt she considered it his duty to inform Natasha,
immobilized in his bed,
everything that is happening outside. The girl immediately realized that
it does not bother in his
company.
- Would you like a cup of tea? Lucy said.
They are redoing the road, you hear the jackhammer? Ah, painters

renovating the facade of number 24. Do you know what color they
repaint? In pink, a horrible
pink!
I asked them what tone it were; amethyst, have they answered.
Amethyst! ...
How about a slice of hake for your lunch? I will prepare you with the
sauce
Mushroom. Fish and milk, it is excellent for babies.
While talking, she kept fussing around the bed, patting the covers,
picking
magazine fell to the ground, adjusting the fall of Lucy curtains never
remained inactive and
- I love colin, timidly replied Natasha, thank you.
- The phone! exclaimed Lucy trotted to the door.
His white and very fine hair aurolaient his face from a small fluffy
cloud. The young
daughter looked out to answer it while blaming himself for having been
so tight-lipped. His
great timidity often prevented from expressing his sympathy as she
would have liked.
- It was Lee, Lucy announced returning already.
- Really? Nastasha said in a tone she hoped indifferent. What did he
want?

- Just make sure you were all right, that I hastened to assure him. He
is concerned too, like all men elsewhere.
He's a perfectionist. Always things to go in the sense that he sees. Oh,
I'm forewarned, do not take life that way. It's very nice to be a dreamer,
but it is good to trust others, occasionally.
On this, the old lady went out, leaving Natasha a little puzzled. That all
this meant?
Lucy did she imply that Lee should trust him, her, Natasha? Lee, a
dreamer? ... It was very unlike him. This term is rather applied to it, who
liked a bit
too ready to close in on itself; so much so that when opened his eyes,
because he
had to, the world and the behavior of his fellow the often shocked. No,
Lee
was too confident to be a dreamer.
The wedding morning, it applied to dress with the help of Lucy lit when
someone began pounding on the front door.
- What is this uproar? Lucy wondered. Here's ways! In any case, this
din not bode well ...
- I hope you're wrong, the girl said with a weak smile.
She did not feel at his best. She had not left the bed for some
days, which degrades probably weakened. She trembled a little and tried
to conceal Lucy

the dress that buttoned angora cream she had chosen for the occasion.
Light and hazy,
it was closed at the front by a row of small pearly buttons.

Page 59
Loud voices came to them of the ground driven, and Lucy listened.
- Who can that be? if she wondered aloud. In any case, this gentleman is
angry ...
The girl became pale as death.
She had to hold on with both hands to the side table to keep from falling.
- My God, my child! Whether he arrives?
You will not faint? ... Come ...
Lucy led her with a thousand precautions to small armchair where
Natasha managed to sit
without flinching.
She recognized the voice of Mike ... Mike ... What the hell was he doing
here? Why
he was playing with Lee?
The old lady was burning with curiosity. She would have wanted to
know what was the cause of the
quarrel between the master of the house to a stranger ... But duty ordered
him to remain with

his young mistress who had still not regained its colors. She took her
cold hands and
tried to warm them by rubbing them in his.
The two women then distinctly heard the sound of a heavy object which
faced the ground
with a crash, followed by muffled sounds and the sharp crack of the door
that closed
violently.
- God of Heaven! exclaimed Lucy could not keep up. You better go,
dear
child?
Do you want what I call a doctor?
Natasha shook her head. If only Lucy could calm down, perhaps she
would hear what
continued to be held down.
- Are you sure?
- I feel much better now.
Silence reigned again in the house.
- I wonder what all this means, says Lucy, who could not hide his envy
irresistible down the news. Will you have the strength to face the day
ahead?
Why not procrastinate?

- Everything will be fine ... I would like you not inform Lee of my little
discomfort. He
would worry unnecessarily.
Natasha was psychologically ready to face this marriage now. She
preferred not
nothing different from fear that a new time of reflection led him to
change his mind.
Lee had suddenly burst into the room. He wore a stylish dark suit,
white shirt and burgundy tie. But it was more a businessman holding a
wedding attire. Nor Natasha, he had seen fit to take clothes worthy of
circumstance.
- Are you ready? if he inquired coldly.
- Yes.
- What was all that noise? Lucy asked who wanted to satisfy his
curiosity.
- Nothing important, 'he replied tersely.
- There has yet had a terrible din!
insisted the old lady.
- Really? Lee replied, unmoved. We are going there? added he gallantly
offering
his arm to Natasha. Can you walk?
- Of course!
The lowered face, she hid somehow her pale cheeks. Thus it was

Page 60
nothing important happened ... So why Mike had he come?
She would not pose any matter unless Lucy would be there staring at
them. Thereof the
now regarded with obvious satisfaction.
- Oh, she exclaimed, you form a very cute couple!
The irony penetrated into the heart of Natasha as a sharp blade. She
turned
head to Lee and caught him looking at her enigmatically. Yet the hard
line of his mouth,
firm curve of her jaw, the coldness of his gray eyes evoked icy
indifference.
Everything happened too fast. Natasha had accepted the proposal for Lee
several days she had had time to get used to the idea.
Yet she felt that the ceremony ended before it even began.
She had not really aware of having taken the plunge, in the car
already brought home. Only the gold ring on his left hand materialized
the start of its new
life: she was the wife of Lee Farrell.
The few guests who had attended the wedding followed the long black
car now

the young couple. Lee drove in silence, giving his companion's haughty
profile. It
watched his powerful hands on the wheel when suddenly she noticed a
wound on his
right hand and others on the left.
- What happened to your hands?
Lee remained impassive.
- Nothing, he replied.
- You are skinned ... It is because of Mike, is not it? What has happened?
she asked anxiously.
A muscle quivered on the cheek of the young man.
His lips hardened.
- He wanted to see you.
- Oh why?
- You may not know this?
The car turned at full speed into a turn, and tires screeched dangerously
on the road.
Some passersby turned. Lee was driving too fast.
- Slow down, please, 'said Natasha nervously.
For answer he gave her a dirty look, but he reduced the pace.
- What did Mike say to you? she asked, wanting to know why their
interview made him so angry.

- This will matter then? I threw it out, he told him in a tone full of
challenge.
- You threw out! Without even having come to inform me of his visit!
But what
right do you allow such liberties? ...
- Why would I be allowed to see you? The doctor does not he
responsible for ensuring
you, you avoid any nervous shock, whatever it is? You have told me
yourself that everything
was over between you. You could not marry her anyway; He had his
chance, and he did not
succeeded in capturing.
- But you did not even let me ...
- I acted in your best interest, he cut in DISCONTINUED-as the car in
front of the building.
He turned to her, and she involuntarily admired the grace of his
movements hairlines.
- Forget Porter. It's time for you to understand that it is too late to go
back. By his fault, it's all over between you two, then drive it away from
your mind.
- You do not have to tell me what to!
if she cried angrily.
Tears of rage gleamed in his eyes and anger rosissait her cheeks.

Page 61
- How dare you do that? she continued. How can you imagine
moment that you decide for me? I am not an object you can manipulate
your leisure. I am a woman, not a child.
- I'm not so sure, he said with a smile that, had he been a cruel grimace,
would have produced on his partner the same effect.
Other cars arrived, and Lee came down to help his young wife to do the
same.
During the intimate reception that followed, Natasha tried by all means
to behave
in radiant young bride, but it was with relief that she heard James
inviting him to
off to rest up.
Tired from her day, she soon fell into a deserved sleep, but many
dreams came populate his night. Frightened by a nightmare, she woke up
trembling in
darkness. She scrutinized the darkness of his room when, to his terror,
she felt a
presence not far from her ... Someone walked into the room. She thought
she died of fright, but she
found the strength to scream with all his strength. A hand then lit the
lamp, and

Lee admitted.
- Why the hell are you shouting like that? You had a nightmare?
Natasha was so relieved to find him near her she neglected to wrap
her sheets when she sat up in bed
- I think so, 'she murmured weakly.
- What did you dream then?
Unable to remember what had so apeu-, serted, she shook her head. The
causes of his
fright completely escaped him. Only remained painful sensations: a
feeling of emptiness,
loneliness.
- Tell me, Lee insisted.
He sat beside her and took her cold hands in his.
- I do not remember.
- Maybe you do not want to remember.
- Perhaps, she admitted with an uncertain smile.
But I feel better now, if she quickly added when she finally became
aware
they were alone together, in bed, in the middle of the night ...
Their eyes met.
- Do not tremble, Natasha. You are safe with me.
- I do not tremble. In fact, I have a little cold, she corrected.

Her pink nightgown bared her shoulders and throat. For a moment, Lee
was lost
in the contemplation of her bare skin, and she tried to bring back the
sheets on it.
- This looks good being pregnant. You are more beautiful than ever.
It prevented him from cover and slid his hand on the neck of the young
woman. The heat
This caress inflicted Natasha a delicious torment. His heart was
pounding, but she
dared not push him away.
She gasped when he moved closer to her.
He watched her with an unreadable expression.
When his fingers down to the birth of her cleavage, she tried to dodge,
but,
a quick gesture, he encircled her waist with one arm and pinned her
against him.
- Do not be frightened, he whispered hoarsely against her ear. You do
not have to feel guilty for loving my caresses. Because you like them, is
not it?
Surprised by this unexpected question, she answered without thinking:
- No, I do not like them.

Page 62

- You're lying, 'he said in a ringing voice of desire.

He released his grip and leaned on it. She felt his warm breath against
his skin, then
her firm lips slid inexorably toward her breasts, arousing in her
sensations she
wanted to forget.
A wave washed over the protests she vainly tried to stammer. She threw
her
head back and met his kisses. Defeated, she closed her eyes. As the night
of their first
encounter, she found herself completely to her thank you. Sure of his
power over her, he slaughtered his
defenses without doubt for a moment to do this.
When he put his mouth on hers, she put her arms around him and
answered his
ardor with equal passion. Their bodies were married in a passionate
embrace, the beats
fools their hearts were confused, the same fever consumed them both.
Suddenly, the Lee
pushed and rose from the bed as if he had to burn it. He tried to catch his
breath, soothe
the turmoil that shook his senses.
- It is impossible, he said.

Natasha, still quivering with desire, did not move.

- James advised me not to share your bed for now. This could be
dangerous for the child.
This unexpected statement the disappointed to the point she blushed in
shame. She looked up
her distraught eyes.
- Do not look at me! You do not have to feel guilty. We are married,
Natasha, legally. What happens to us is quite normal.
- It's not because I wear on my finger this alliance that I belong to you,
and that
you can do with me what you want.
- You forget you I wish to you, with all your being. Do not deny it.
Humiliated by this evidence that it had just launched dryly face, she
turned her
head.
- It is not true, 'she whispered. All this has nothing to do with love. This
was
of ... lust.
- From lust! he raised a threatening voice.
Do not use such words, please!
- What was it then, since we do not like?
- It was ...
He paused, and Natasha heard breathe irregularly, just for a moment.

- It was desire, it's totally different.

You are very beautiful, Natasha, and I like to feel completely abandoned
in my arms. The
Lust is cold and cynical. This is a weaker form of hatred. The desire on
the contrary is a
natural response to beauty. We always want to own what is beautiful.
- This is not a reason for you to seize ...
- I think you do not know very well where you are, he noticed with
amusement.
You still do not know what you want and you refuse to admit evidence
that is emerging
every day more accurately. If you can not stand to be in my arms, well I
come near to you more, but then refrain from shudder when I touch you.
Embarrassed, the young woman looked away.
- If you could only relax when we're together, everything would
much better, he continued, pointing to the door quietly.
He wore a black silk robe and walked barefoot.
- Will you sleep now? he asked softly.
- Yes thank you ...

Page 63
She looked out and stayed awake a long time before deciding to turn off
the

bedside lamp and doze.

A few days later, Lee surprised her by asking her if she had not informed
his parents of the situation. Natasha had not yet found the courage to
write to them.
- It will be necessary you will solve a day or other, he remarked.
- I know, but they will come immediately to London to know what
happened to me.
He smiled, and his gray eyes parrent an indefinable charm.
- Sooner or later you will tell them about our marriage and the baby. The
longer you wait, the more
it will be difficult.
- Right.
- Would you like me to see myself?
At the time, she was tempted to accept, but she shook her head, making
her long waving
black hair.
- This is a responsibility to myself alone.
He shrugged and studied thoughtfully for a moment.
- And if you invite them here for a few days?
I want to know them well.
- If it was a real marriage ...
Lee frowned, and a wild air came darken his face.

- Our marriage is all there was more true, he interrupted. A contract is

there to
prove you wear my wedding ring and expect my child. This undeniable
reality do
it enough?
Surprised by this event, Natasha remained prohibited, then it exploded.
- You know perfectly well what I mean!
- No, I do not know! He always would I understand you a hint! You are,
like most women, a mystery. Sometimes I look at you and I really
wonder what
haunts you. Anyway, you are disconcerting.
- Whether you have I said to cause this deluge of criticism? she was
indignant. I am
disconcerting? Do you think that we still Use you open book?
He suddenly had an apologetic smile, but a glint in his eyes danced.
- Touch! I am a poor misunderstood, and sometimes, it makes me so
mad that
I lose my Latin. So I get angry.
- I just realizing it, she replied, laughing.
- Oh, it was nothing. You do not have ever seen me get into a black rage.
- The preview you sometimes give me no incentive me.
- You still have so much to discover ... he joked.

When he was laughing mood, she secretly was irresistible and she found
herself
think she would be proud to present it to his parents. They had not
shown great enthusiasm
when they had known Mike. She imagined the astonishment of seeing
Linda Lee, and she was glad
in advance.
The young woman watched her husband with a stir. It was definitely
very appealing.
The autumn sun was broadcasting the room a soft glow which gave the
brown skin of Lee
coppery complexion. If their marriage had been different, she would
have liked to let run his fingers along
firm contours of his powerful jaw, her cheeks, her skin ...
- And if you decide to write them?
She watched his lips with a strange fascination. They troubled her. They
reminded him
their first night when she had lingered to observe their sensual form
before surrender
to him defeated.

Page 64
- Well, are you still dreaming?

This time he did not reproach him but seemed amused at hand.
- Excuse me, 'she stammered. I ... yes, I'll write to them. Are you sure
you want the
receive here?
- Absolutely. You know, I have no family.
I no longer have my parents and I was an only son. I look forward to
meeting yours.
- They are very simple.
Lee smiled.
- I mean ...
- I know what you mean, he interrupted gently.
- I love them, you see ...
Natasha suddenly realized how much it was very important to her that
Lee appreciates its
parents.
- And they give you the good, is not it?
- Yes.
- Do not worry, he remarked as if reading his thoughts. Everything will
very good. They will understand and forgive you, I'm sure.
Later, when she began her letter, the woman remembered her last
words with some skepticism. She had to try several times to expose their
without much

details the situation: her marriage and why marriage. It was essential to
prevent
before they arrive.
When Lee joined her, he looked for a moment the many sheets of
crumpled paper
spread around.
- It was not easy?
- No, she said with a small grin.
- Can I post it now?
- Yes, she answered, you can post it.
The sooner this issue would be resolved, the better it-would, she
thought. It would be nice
able to destroy this letter and would under no circumstances give in to a
moment of cowardice.
He took the envelope, and, to the surprise of Natasha, he bent down to
kiss
tenderly on the forehead before going out.

Page 65
CHAPTER 10
A ray of sunshine played in the blond hair of James when he turned to
Natasha:
- Would you start getting up a little during the day? he suggested.

The face of the young woman brightened immediately.

- Really? I really could?
- If you are reasonable, yes, he answered with the learned tone he used
when he
was medicine. At first, you will remain seated one hour, and then, if no
disturbance
none, you can extend a little more each day and gradually.
- Thank you, 'she murmured, overflowing with gratitude.
The young man looked at her sympathetic and amused smile at a time. It
behaved
a bit like a child.
- It is so painful to be able to leave his bed, I'm so bored ...
- I understand, though occasionally I myself happy if my linger
schedule was allowing me; but even my nights are often shortened ...
- My poor James! intervened mocking voice
Lee who had just joined them. I sympathize, my dear, with all my heart
...
- Thank you! I work like a madman and that's all the consideration I get
out!
- You're a saint. Why do not you admit it?
James laughed.
- If you insist, he replied as he walked toward the door. Natasha,
remember, time

only at the beginning. It will also avoid agitating you for any reason
whatsoever, is not
right?
He turned to Lee a look full of innuendo and then retired.
The young woman blushed, she knew. The last remark filled him with
James
confusion, and caustic look that Lee landed on her now, was not done to
help her
relax.
She hastened to break the silence to deceive his embarrassment.
- You know, James allowed me to start to get up little by little ...
- Great! Besides, the rest cure was successful. You pick the colors,
in recent days.
- Yes, but I'm really tired of this forced immobility. I will move a bit
more
good.
- It's funny, I'm never bored in bed!
he threw the tone of the joke.
She tried to ignore his reply, but a table-insuppor thrill the senses
answered it
secretly.
- So do not you working today? hastened she ask.
- No. Being the boss offers this kind of privileges.

I organized the way I want without accountable to anyone. Moreover, in

you respect, it is time that you give up behaving like a scared little bird
who
afraid to leave his nest to fly on its own wings ...
He spoke in a playful tone, but his gray eyes fixed on her indicated he
was referring to
a specific thing ... She would not come in his game!
- I want to get up now, it declarat immediately.
He shrugged resignedly:
- Very well, he said, handing him her negligee and rejecting the covers.

Page 66
Natasha put her bare feet on the floor, began slowly standing. It was a
giddy moment, and
Lee immediately put his arms around her farm. She found herself
crushed against his chest. The
head tilted her, he contemplated the inten-sity with: he had felt the
tremor that this brief
embrace had spread throughout the body of the young woman.
She slipped into her highly neglected and walked unsteadily to the door,
trouble
comfortable to know if observed with attention. He followed her to the
ground floor,

watching for the slightest sign of weakness, ready to intervene

immediately.
However, Natasha guessed that this care she was being concealed
something else:
Lee wanted to make sure he always awakened in it that irresistible
emotion that he had lost
the head on the evening of their first meeting. Yet the mention of that
night still raised in
it a whiff of shame. Yes, she was ashamed because only his senses had
responded to his ardor, not
his heart.
She loved Mike so ... although it no longer prouvt nothing for him
now, she thought
bitterly, sitting in a comfortable chair by the window. As as
time passed, her feelings for him had faded before dying completely.
It was as if they had not resisted the absence of the beloved: they had
disappeared with him.
This sad reality Natasha. The love-so it was a Evanes percent feeling,
ready to faint at the
any separation?
- What the hell do you think now? Lee asked with some irritation in the
voice.
You seem so concerned ...

- Really? I'm sorry.

- That does not answer my question. Once again, you shirk. This is
incredible!
But shake you a little! Miss you so much courage to refuse to face
reality?
It's like your parents, you expect that no other solution available to you
for their
admit the truth. Yet you were well resolve to face, right? Such
cowardice me
seems senseless!
Natasha blushed at the insult but certainly he was trying to get her out of
joint, it
preferred to keep quiet.
- You have been conditioned, he added.
- Really? Are we not all? Irretrievably? Especially
Women?
she looked with feigned lightness. We are high following a specific
pattern,
we must reflect a certain image ...
- We're not talking about the same thing. You feel guilty for giving me,
here
the problem. It's written on your face. You carry the weight of your
"fault" as a burden

too heavy for your shoulders, but you do not even try to get rid of. It
looks like
you're enjoying living well.
- Not true! she exploded last. I do not want forgetting, reaching forget ...
- So you admit, this is progress.
- I have never denied. I blame myself, yes, I admit. Are not you happy? I
feel
guilty, guilty, guilty!
Under the influence of anger, she lost control of her voice had risen to
treble. Then she closed her eyes and raised a trembling hand to her
throat.
- I've already asked Natasha: Do you have any remorse for having
succumbed to my
desire or losing Porter?
- What difference does it make?
- A big difference, he replied dryly. I understand that you regret

Page 67
Porter, but if you hate to have sold me, the situation becomes different.
- I did not want to talk.
- I know that too! You avoid the subject systematically.
- Then why do you insist? she cried, trembling.

- Because it's stronger than me! I got to know. If it has nothing to do

with your break
Porter ...
- This is obviously related! she interrupted to prevent him to finish his
sentence, as if
she was afraid to let him continue. I loved Mike.
- But you've never had sex with him.
He spoke quickly while hammering his words. Natasha thought his heart
stopped
fight.
She frowned, under the blow of too sudden revelation for his spirit
fogged. He watched intently, looking for an answer, and she had to look
away
escape the heat of his gaze.
- Why, Natasha? he continued in a softer voice now, but imperceptibly
tinged with mockery. Why have you never made love Damn I 5
tomorrow.
with him? If you like it as much as you make, because you were about to
you
married ...
- I preferred to wait, she interrupted.
He laughed, and she blushed.

- What wisdom! What patience! ... But it has not had much you miss, to
one
nor the other ...
- Be quiet! I refuse to talk to you about my relationship with Mike!
She wanted to get up and plant it there, but she gave up for fear that his
legs do
way under her.
- But I have succeeded where Porter failed ...
Furious this time Natasha yet did violence to not answer. It would not
enter
in his play.
He waited a long moment before continuing:
- You imagine that love and desire are two different things, is not it
? So you persuadiez that you loved Mike Porter, you were ready to
marry, to live
your whole life with him, without even the slightest feel for physical
attraction.
- What right do you advance such assertions? How can you judge? ...
- The facts speak for themselves. You clamez your love for Porter, but
you do it
have never allowed to touch you. Strangely, you knew me for only a few
hours when you fell in my arms ...

Natasha covered her face with her hands. Then he knelt at his feet and
spread
gently the fingers of the young woman.
- Why hide? he said. This is the truth, and the faster you will admit, the
better you
will feel.
I have desired you from the minute I laid eyes on you, and it was the
same for
you. Certainly, if you do not have a little drink, you would have tried to
deny it. But alcohol lamp
the walls of inhibition.
- Why do you remember me? Do you think I'm proud of?
- I know very well that you're not, you will want even fatally.
- Then why do you harass?
- To learn the truth. You admit that he never really liked Porter.
- I did not say that!

Page 68
- No, but that's obvious. You've never desired to the point of losing the
reason.
He paused a moment, as if to give more weight to the words that
followed:
- It's me you want. You design a deep shame, but that does not change

nothing.
Natasha shuddered; despite all his efforts, all his resistance, she had
finally
recognize that he was right. This revelation threw glowing, just for a
moment, an opaque veil
on his conscience: she loved him. That night, she did not even ask what
happened to him.
Fierce determination, stronger than itself, had led inexorably to
the inevitable. She had followed Lee Farrell eyes closed. She had not
succumbed to his manhood, she
had gone to pick itself divine passion fruit. His body had driven while
under
spheres that his blind mind could not foresee. Without the morrow, she
was subject
entirely in his arms.
Since obsessed with guilt disproportionate, she had refused to probe this
unstoppable momentum that had delivered this man for fear of
discovering perhaps something other than
desire ...
- You'll have to admit, one day or other, he continued calmly, after
observed carefully.
But she had no intention of betraying what she'd understand.
- Stop torturing yourself and cease to hate me, 'he added.

- I do not hate you, 'she whispered.

He got up, took a few steps into the room; he returned to her, when the
bell of
phone stopped her. They jumped simultaneously. Lee swore under his
breath: Lucy was out, and he
had to go meet. The young woman heard win, then his voice came to
him:
- Hello? Oh, Lara ...
As if she had just received a blow in the chest, Natasha closed his eyes.
It
Lara Brennan had forgotten, like all the other women who were
important in the life of Lee.
If for her he was the first, for him, it was far from it. Others before she
had been able to arouse
his ardor.
He was laughing now.
- It's great, honey, he said.
Natasha remembered the people she rubbed his work with Nigel, that
freedom of
mores that reigned in the world of advertising, Sonia Warren who
boasted to behave
as a man toward sexuality ... Natasha had always condemned such
lightness is

why his adventure with Lee Farrell had so affected. She despised
himself for his weakness, and
discovering her feelings for him did nothing softened his torments, since
he did not love
no. He only wished if she took to forget the eloquent brilliance of his
gray eyes often
fixed on her, on her body, when alone, was there to remind him.
But other women also attracted Lee, other women he had for
then give up.
Natasha did not want to expand the list of his ephemeral conquests. She
also conceived a
too much respect for human values, emotion, life itself. She appreciated
not this attitude that was to enjoy daily pleasures-lived, of random
chance encounters.
For this reason, she was not allowed Lee to seduce her again.
Lucy's voice rose in the hall: she had just returned. She began to talk of
Lee
price of oranges without seeming affected the faint echo aroused by his
words. When she entered
in the living room, she stopped short when he saw Natasha in the chair.
- What are you doing out of bed? she asked, opening his incredulous
eyes.

Page 69
- James allowed me to get up an hour a day, for now, replied the young
woman smiling.
- You are going to better. What good news!
- I gotta get out, announced Lee behind.
Do you want me to help you regain your bed?
The time has almost passed now.
- Yes, we must be cautious, especially the first time, Lucy replied by
rushing
with his young mistress. You can go, Lee, I take care of her.
He hesitated, then nodded before disappearing. His car tires squealed
when
took off for a moment later.
- Come, come, my child, 'said the old lady Natasha slipping an arm
around her
size.
They crossed the hall where the timbre of the door sounded. Lucy
snapped
his tongue with irritation.
- Who could he be now?
She helped Natasha to sit in a chair at the foot of the stairs.
- Stay here while I go see who it is.
A small ray of sunshine into the room when she opened.

- Yes? Lucy did.

Natasha's head snapped up when she recognized the voice that answered
him.
- I want to see ...
Mike Porter paused when he saw the young woman who had to cling to
armrests of his seat.
Lucy turned around, looked with surprise the sudden pallor of his
mistress, and understood
Instinctively she had to let the visitor.
- Hello, Natasha, he said in a slightly hoarse voice without being able to
hide his embarrassment.
- Hello, she said mechanically.
- I would like to talk to you, explained the young man with a brief but
eloquent look to
Lucy.
But the old lady is not so easily intimidated. The tension between the
two young
People were too obvious for it not might attempt to help his protegee.
- I was just going to help him regain his bed, she intervened.
- I do not have that for a minute, Mike insisted imploringly.
Natasha stood trembling slightly.
- Agreed, she nodded.
She went to the lounge, Lucy at his heels.

- We will not be long, I promise you, she added to the housekeeper

address
who no longer concealed his disapproval now.
- Sit down, she offered to Mike when they were alone.
A little puzzled, Natasha watched as he took hold of a chair and
approached
the chair where she stood. So many things had happened since their
break ... He was always
the same.
Yet it seemed different to him. But it was she who had changed, not him.
- How are you? he asked.
- Well, she lied.
- I tried to see you several times, but Farrell has always prevented me.
Natasha looked down and tried to keep a neutral expression.

Page 70
- I called, phoned the young man. You did not even respond to my
letters.
- Your letters?
- He was careful not to give them to you, I guess.
I thought so ...
She had stiffened in his chair. Lee How dare he steal the mail which he

was not intended? She blushed under the influence of indignation. What
right is it allowed to
behave in this way, as if it belonged to him body and soul?
- I know this road by heart, shops, his every cranny to be
waited for hours and hours ...
- Considering?
- Yes, so that Lee because I had to talk to you.
- What, Mike? Do not you see it's too late?
- I do not see that too ... Look, I wrote to my brother to tell him what you
thought
Mom.
And ... and you were right, Natasha. I do not believe my eyes, but they
are on track to
Australia because of my mother. You had it right, you understand? ... So
I've been looking. I am
first went to your apartment, then your office. There Herries taught me
that you were married you.
Then I had to walk a long time to calm down, then I went home, and
there ... I had
words with my mother.
Natasha saw him now with a face full of compassion.
- I'm sorry, Mike ...
She imagined how this discovery had had the upset. She was mistaken in

thinking that he had not changed. In fact, he seemed older, more mature,
more confident.
- We had a rather violent scene, he explained it. She protested at first,
then
seemed bored and ... Well, now I know that you had not invented
anything, I just blew it.
- Do not reproach yourself. You believed her because she is your
mother, it's all natural.
He smiled bitterly.
- But I refused to admit that she wanted to separate, and yet ... What a
fool I am!
As you must have suffered because of my stupidity ... That's why I really
wanted to see you,
to apologize.
Natasha smiled.
- It's nice of you.
- I came here on the day of your wedding.
He had tried so much to see her that day to apologize ... Had he only had
time
to show cause in Lee?
- I had to have an interview with you before it's too late, 'he said. I
wanted you

request to grant me one last chance. Everything was my fault. My fault

that we
quarreled, my fault if we broke up, my fault that you met Farrell! I'd
implore you to
marry me in his place, but he threw me out unceremoniously.
I wanted a ride to collect my thoughts before facing again, and when
I came back, there was nobody. I realized then that it was really too late.
She nodded gravely.
- Yes, we left for the ceremony just after your altercation.
Mike had a high round the body.
- So he was not lying to me ... You knew I was there and you refused to
receive me.
- Me?
At that time, brakes howled outside the house. A door slammed and no
someone who ran resounded on the sidewalk. Mike suddenly got up and
looked at the door without power

Page 71
concealing a lively apprehension. On any other occasion, Natasha would
amused to see
frightened at this point, but she had little heart to laugh.
Lee burst burst into the room. He was shaking with rage and murderous
gleam

lit his gray eyes.

Mike tried to confront it by gathering his courage. He received in
exchange a glance
INCEN-mediary, but Natasha preceded her husband was going bludgeon
some invective heartfelt:
- By what right you allow yourself to intercep-ter of letters addressed to
me?
she gave dryly. What right do you forbid me to talk to Mike? How dare
you
?
The scowl, Lee never left the young man eyes.
- He would have brought you more torment, retorted between his teeth.
What good
Would it served him to see you this morning? You would have married
me anyway; why
would I have left to risk make you sick?
Natasha wanted to protest, but he quickly interrupted.
- Do not put me out of me, Natasha, I assure you that this is not the time!
I
perhaps am
be patient, usually ...
- You? Patient? if she cried.
- Be quiet! As for you, Porter, if you only had a little bit of self-love, you

disparatriez forever. She's mine, you know? You had your chance and
you
have missed; Now it's over, do you hear?
On the face of Mike read all the despair that gnawed him; He walked
slowly to the
door and went out. Lee seemed to relax slightly. He loosened his tie
before turning
to Natasha that ill concealed his fury.
- I had the right to read these letters and decide myself how to act with
him
! How could you do that?
- I've already said, it was in your interest.
- My interest!
- You would not have been happy with him.
- But what do you know? How dare you tell me what to?
- You did not love her. You've never loved, contrary to what you
imagine,
he affirmed with quiet confidence.
The young woman gasped.
- Oh! she exploded. You know better than I the sentiments that inspire
me,
is not it? I have not even the right to try them, nor to think! I do not
know what I

feel, however, you, you know!

- Yes, he retorted by passing a weary hand through his dark hair.
A bitter smile suddenly lifted the corners of his lips.
- Oh, yes Natasha, I know.
Against all odds, she felt nervous suddenly. The beating of his heart
rushed into his chest, his breathing quickened, and she had to look away
to not
see the mocking gleam in gray eyes. She opened her mouth but no sound
went out, and she stood there, inert and trembling, trying painfully to
swallow.
- When you are willing to admit it, we will resume this discussion; not
before!
he threw himself on trenchantly before leaving the room.

Page 72

Page 73
CHAPTER 11
A few days later, Natasha was still sleeping when Lee entered his room.
He drew the curtains, and a pale light came illuminate the face of the
young woman. Surprise
find out at her bedside, she blinked first eye and then quickly
straightened to sit

against its fluffy pillows. He placed a cup of tea on the bedside table.
- Did you sleep well?
- Yes, thank you, she replied in a small voice.
- There is a letter for you, 'he announced, handing him an envelope she
did not take
right now.
Deep concern had invaded.
- A letter from your parents, he pointed out unnecessarily.
She immediately recognized the handwriting of his father.
- Open it ...
It was with trembling hands she decided it. She ran very fast, while
pale under the watchful eyes of Lee. Then tears started to stream down
her cheeks.
- Read, she whispered.
When he finished, he looked with a tender smile.
- This is a very nice letter, he said. Congratulations.
- Why do you praise? she was astonished.
- To have parents like yours.
Besides, I could not imagine them otherwise.
- Really? Why?
- I do not know ... But come to watch you, I have come to these
conclusions.
- That does not explain ...

- You always want things to be black or white, Natasha. Yet many

often halftones correspond much better to the realities of life.
He looked at the cup on the nightstand, and added:
- Drink before it is cold.
She obeyed him, although the tea was still very hot.
- I'll tell Lucy's arrival next weekend. I guess Linda your
sister?
Natasha nodded.
- They do not mention Jack. No doubt they will come only with Linda,
she stated.
At the thought of having to face so soon to his family, the young woman
felt pale
more.
Lee then took her hands in his, and the warmth of his gesture comforted.
- Do not worry, everything will be fine, he asserted.
- How do you know? she said, furtively wiping her eyes wet. You do
not even know. I am deeply disappointed ... I do not fear their anger, but
rather their
sadness.
- They sent you a very tender letter ...
- I expected ... They are not less unhappy either.
- Natasha, nobody's perfect, it's time for you to understand. Everyone

makes mistakes, that's how life is learned, and you can not escape it.
You are too
fragile, too sensitive, you take things too seriously.

Page 74
He paused a moment before continuing:
- You seem sometimes so desperate that worry me.
- What are you trying to tell me? I do not always have all my head?
- What an idea! Why are you so nervous at the end? You know how to
defend yourself, do
show some courage, but if you stopped to consider life as a battle to win
no matter what, everything would be better. You should try to relax,
Natasha.
She looked at him with some perplexity.
- You think?
- Oh yes, I believe it! he replied, smiling. If you were less fragile, you
would not be
bedridden now. Knowing keep calm is essential.
- I'll try, 'she whispered.
He gently stroked her cheek fingertips.
She shivered at the contact and had to turn away to hide his agitation;
then Lee
rose:

- I have to go to work now. A daunting task awaits me, he said, running

a hand
in his thick black hair to free his forehead. Do not stand there ruminating
all your problems
the day.
- No, sir, 'she replied lightly in this authoritarian order.
- And no insolence, please! he threw the tone of the joke.
- Decidedly, she exclaimed, laughing, I still have not said what he had
to. I do not know
So never please you!
- Oh, yes, you would know, if only you take the trouble ...
With that, Lee went out without giving him time to respond. Powerless,
she felt so ashamed
the last words of the young man still echoing in the room.
Natasha looked at the sky through the window.
The winter had enveloped the city of his gray coat a little sad. Frost
settled on the
windows with morning frosts. The young woman remembered similar
days in Dorset,
when the branches of bare trees stretched toward the sky, adorned
themselves with their dark beauty,
when brouil-bacon in the fields clinging to bushes, conferring suddenly a
shadow

mystery to these landscapes yet so familiar.

She was scared. Fear of binding Lee never to return, lest the precarious
security of
new life is as short as his first night of love, lest his future remains as
uncertain that the campaign under the fog.
She had never taken a real risk until the evening when she met Lee, and
here
where this had led ... How foolish to follow his instincts!
Distrust his feelings, be careful not to listen to his impulses, there
resided wisdom. The
wisdom ... but not life!
Soon after, Lucy came with the breakfast tray. While Natasha sipped his
boiled egg and crispy toast, she spoke of the day's news.
-It's Good, kid. You eat a lot better now, 'she said then.
When Lucy smiled, his face brightened. The young woman enjoying her
company,
although his incessant chatter sometimes bewildered him. She felt
confident with
this old friendly and pleasant lady who showed him from day dedication
and trust of most comforting. If only everyone could be like him ...
This afternoon there, Natasha sat by the window with a book. She
watched
absently particularly heavy traffic on that day, when she saw the car Lee

stop in front of the house. Astonished, she assumed he had finished his
work earlier than expected.
Already, his heart pounding in his chest, but it seemed to stop beating
when Lara

Page 75
Brennan went down to turn the vehicle. Lee waited on the sidewalk, and
then they went all
two to the front door. Natasha looked down at his book, but the lines
were
scrambled ...
They soon to enter the living room where she stood. She tried with all
her might to
hide the emotion that gripped him.
- Natasha, you do not know Lara, is not it? Lara, this is my wife.
Lara Brennan approached her and held out his hand, smiling. Natasha
tried to appear
kind under the watchful eye of impenetrable and her husband.
- I come back, he said. I look up the partition.
With that, he left the room, leaving only.
Lara looked at the young woman with amusement:
- I leave tomorrow on tour to the United States.
What the hell would I do without my music?

- Indeed, Natasha replied without really understanding.

The young star was wearing an elegant dark green suit decorated with a
silk scarf
black. She was nonchalant, assured, and it emanated from her
extraordinary presence. His eyes
signified an energetic nature, and a sense of humor which probably
made
irresistible to men. Natasha did not feel strong enough to compete with
it. She managed
Nevertheless, to offer him a small tight smile.
- I was burning to know the mysterious wife of Lee, Lara gave him
settling close
her.
But I had seen you, the day you fainted in the street, you do you
certainly not remember. I was in a taxi with Lee. He was terribly worried
about you,
you know.
As she got no answer, she continued:
- The baby is for when? You're not very big ...
- No ... This is for March.
Natasha was a concern that this woman knew of the situation. Lee him
Had the whole story of their adventure? This event gave him nausea, and
she turned to

flee the look that scrutinized.

- I would love to have a child ..., Lara sighed.
Incredulous, the young woman thought he had misunderstood.
- Unfortunately, Donald does not want to hear about it for now. He
believes that my
career comes first.
- Donald? repeated Natasha, who seemed to have lost the thread of the
narrative.
- My husband.
- Your ... your husband?
- Yes, Donald Grafton, composer. It was he who created the Champs
Bleus, my more
big hit, you know?
- Yes, yes ... of course, Natasha stammered. It's beautiful.
- I also find, Lara nodded, smiling.
- I did not marry you, noticed his companion while thinking of Donald
Grafton.
What did he think of the relationship with his wife Lee Farrell?
- I'm six months. We spent some time at Lee, waiting
our apartment is finished. Donald and Lee have developed a new song,
you did not know
So? They were also delighted to be able to work together without having
to cross the city to

back.
Natasha could not believe it.

Page 76
- Lee did not tell you? Lara wondered who was watching with
bewilderment the amazed Mine
young woman. It's a strange man, he does not like to sell your chickens
before they hatch ...
Anyway, it is he who writes the dialogues, the texts. This is a musical
version of
Pride and Prejudice, Jane Austen.
- And Lee wrote the dialogues?
- Laboriously intervened one who entered the room. I adapt more
precisely, the
Jane Austen text to music.
- And you will soon mount this show?
asked Natasha.
Lara laughed.
- I hope so! if she cried.
- Yes, but we're not there yet, clarified Lee holding a big wad of
paper to the singer.
- Well, gotta save me now. I was delighted to meet you, 'she added to
Natasha address. I only regret not having met you earlier. Now I

leaving for the United States, and I do not know when I will return.
Good luck with the baby. I hope
you invite me to baptism, if I'm back in that time?
- Of course, answered Natasha. I wish you much success for your tour.
- Thank you and goodbye.
- A while ago, Lee said his wife. I must accompany Lara home.
Natasha nodded avoiding looking at him. He stood there a moment, then
turned and
followed Lara who was already out ...
That night, the young woman quietly reading in bed when he knocked
on the door of his
room.
Contrary to his habit where he just took from him since the threshold,
came in and sat down beside her.
- Have you had a good day? he asked. - Yes and you?
Instead of answering him with a monosyllable, he spoke for the first
time of his
activities of the studio, the new group he had auditioned. He looked
tired, and while
listening carefully, Natasha noticed the small wrinkles around his eyes,
wearily.
He stopped suddenly with a small grimace:
- I miss you, is not it?

- Not at all! On the contrary.

- Really? You are gentle, yet professional conversations are always
painful for those who are not concerned.
He pretended to get up, but she stopped him:
- Why did not you ever tell me that Lara was married?
He stiffened imperceptibly:
- I did not tell you?
- You know very well.
- Oh, I had to forget ...
He suddenly gave him a smirk.
- Maybe even have I purposely omitted? Maybe
maybe I thought it best to let you believe that I had an affair ...
- Why?
Since his return in the afternoon, she interro-geait the reasons which had
pushed
deliberately let these doubts hovering.

Page 77
- Why? she repeated.
He sighed impatiently.
- Is this important?
- But of course, it's important! You act, decide without ever bothering to
Tell me!

You say nothing of your doings, nothing of your projects with the
husband of Lara, whose
I was unaware of the existence otherwise totally! You allow you to
dictate my conduct,
prohibited me from seeing Mike Porter, you bring me to assume that you
have a mistress ... I
do not like that one has of my life, which was treated as if I was a child!
- It will nevertheless get used to it.
- What? she exploded, red with anger now.
- Someone should take care of you before you parveniez to spoil
totally your existence.
- To support me ... But I'm not a simpleton!
- It will however come to behave as such. Remember the night we
meeting. Did you have your whole reason that night?
- Do not change the subject. All this does not explain why you wanted
me to you
believe the lover of Lara Brennan.
- When she started working for us, we went out together for
a while, but she soon met Donald.
- Why have you left me wrong?
- It was preferable.
- Better? For who?
- For me. This saved my face, somehow. You probably understand me

not, but I'm a man, and it means something to me.

She did not understand very well the meaning of his words.
- Why would you be saved face?
- Are you stupid in the end? he growled.
- Yes, she whispered.
- You will notice that it is you who have said! he said, laughing.
He paused a moment to look between her eyelashes, and added
enigmatically:
- In a way, I needed to protect myself.
- And you used it? Did you fear ... You thought I would try to
advantage of the situation, your wealth, if I thought you were free?
- My God ... I wonder sometimes if you are not crazy!
This time Natasha included not at all.
- But what he has behind those big blue eyes?
he went on. The wind?
- I ... I'm not very strong when it comes to guess the motivations of
others.
- It's the least we can say ...
He looked at her in silence for a moment. He seemed troubled suddenly
less sure of himself.
Suddenly, he put his arm around the shoulders of the young woman and
pulled her against him without
meet any resistance.

- ... I'll still put you on the track, he murmured.

He tightened his grip, but she suddenly turned her head angrily. Did he
actually able to manipulate it at will, whenever smiled? He always hid
when they
Pareve-naient to a question he did not like to address. He sighed deeply
and
Natasha's face froze in front of his.

Page 78
She then noticed a dull fury distorted his features. His mouth had a fold
cruel ...
She began to tremble.
- No, Lee ... she stammered. You're welcome ...
It scared him when he landed on it and his gray eyes that betrayed
violence.
- This time you will not escape, Natasha.
You can not ever escape yourself.
It will take me perhaps a lifetime, but I oblige you to admit.
- To admit what?
- This, he whispered furiously, seizing her lips.
The young woman could not suppress the long spontaneous impulse of
his body that

asked only to respond to the ardor of Lee. She slowly slid his hands
around her neck and
snuggled against him, shuddering in the passion of his kiss. As on their
first night, the
even craving rendered helpless in his arms, helpless and defeated,
snatching
sighs of pleasure.
They embraced for a few minutes and stolen from eternity, then he
stepped aside
it slightly to gently take her face in his hands.
- I fell in love with you the night we met, when I heard your laughter,
he confessed huskily. I had not seen you, and I turned around
immediately.
Then I saw you. You were so pretty, Natasha, so pretty ... I could not
take my
eyes on you.
I guess I thought you felt the same emotion ...
He was right. Captivated, she had looked into thinking that she never
had
found in front of such an attractive man.
- That night belonged to magic, he continued wistfully. You said
yourself, you fly in a bubble floating in the clouds. Unfortunately, the
next morning, the bubble

suddenly broke, and I painfully fell back to earth.

- I'm sorry, she whispered, gently stroking the cheek. I am very bad
driving.
- Yes, very badly, he repeated. I hated you for at least three days, and
then I
started to feel like someone who experienced heaven before being
powered without
transition into hell. It became impossible for me not to think of you.
When Porter came to see me
and I thought to blackmail, I saw red. I nearly killed him, not just driven
by anger but
especially by jealousy. I was going crazy at the thought that you were in
collusion both. Crazy
furious! Yet I knew you, I should have guessed that you were unable to
act as
vile, but the reason had no hold on me. The rage blinded me.
Natasha looked at him with feverish eyes wide with amazement. A
foolish happiness
which she no longer believed, crept into it: he had said he loved her, he
fell in love
her to that night ... The words danced in his head. She almost asked her
if she had well

Naturally, if she was not the victim of an illusion. If Lee loved him, his
life made sense, she
waking from a long sleep peopled with nightmares ...
- I finally calm down, and covering my spirits, I measured the extent of
the error
I had just committed. The idea that I had perhaps a chance taking shape,
but you
obstiniez not listen to me, to refuse to marry me. I thought then you have
lost forever.
He let out a long sigh.
- Then I armed myself with patience, he continued.
I persuaded you to accept to see me from time to time; I was trying to
better you
known in Esp-rant secretly make you forget Porter, and cause you to
look at me with

Page 79
other eyes.
Natasha was swimming in bliss.
- And why did not you just confessed to me that all this time? him
she asked.
- What would you have responded if I had done?
- I would have struggled to believe you, at that time ...

- Where you always think of Porter, he went for it. At least you
the you imagine. I began to understand that you could not give me too
passionately always loving. Only then I began to truly expect. It was the
only logical explanation for your behavior, but if I could wait a logical
ounce
your part. I have never met more feminine creature you. You do not act
according to
traditional paths of reason. Yours intersect and intertwine to achieve a
real
maze. Woe to them that the adventure to try to follow you!
- Thank you! she said, raising her chin with a defiant edge, a little
annoyed.
- But I love you, Natasha, he whispered in a broken voice.
He tenderly kissed her neck, buried her face in her silky hair.
- I love you, darling. I need you terribly ... just like you
need me, need me to protect you, I watch over you, I prevented you from
making
splurge.
Natasha pulled him against her, and she shuddered when she felt her
firm lips on her skin.
- And Lara? she could not help asking.
He laughed before answering.
- Oh, Lara ... I'm afraid to have a little used. You see, I did not want

you know me at your feet. Lara alibi served me. Donald is my best
friend, and believe me, it
would not allow him the slightest misstep with another man. I
frequented before she
meeting, I admit, but there has never been anything serious between us.
We plaisions
together, that's all.
Natasha looked at him with dreamy eyes, fascinated by the silent
promise of his mouth
sensual.
- Are you ready to admit it now?
he asked in a tone that was meant pleasant but which betrayed the need
for a response.
She nodded silently.
- Say it, Natasha, tell me. Now.
I waited too long to hear you say those words, do not prolong my
torment.
- I love you, 'she whispered. You're right, I ... I've never really liked
Mike.
I've never desired as ...
She broke off, blushing, and Lee laughed.
- As you like me, are not you?

He seemed amused, but his gray eyes fixed on her burned with
impatience. Natasha swept
all its reserves and put her arms around his neck in a burst of emotion.
- Yes, from the moment I saw you for the first time. I have long refused
admit it, because for me, love was a gentle and wise feeling. I do not
apparentais to this torrent
whirlpool that drew me irresistibly to you, and I was a little ashamed ...
My parents
raised me in the belief that I would meet a nice guy, that we would
marry and
would have children. They had not prepared me to enter this vortex
where any attempt to
reason not to let stun becomes futile.
- And thanks to the champagne! he remarked lightly.
- Yes, champagne which drowned all my inhibitions ... But the next day,
they

Page 80
resurfaced and was horrified by my conduct which I considered
scandalous!
- I know ...
- I am sorry, she said, depositing a kiss on his lips. I did not know where
I was, everything

is em-blurred in my head. I stayed long enough prey to this confusion.

And,
I was jealous of Lara ...
- Ah! if he exclaimed with satisfaction.
- It makes you happy?
- Yes ...
- I thought she was not even the one and only ... And that night we had
was shared for you like many others ...
- Natasha It is unique, unique, do you hear me? And his greatest reward
is what
Baby you wear, baby love, a shared love.
To you look now to see so beautiful with your eyes shining with
happiness, I guess
others are waiting wonderful nights, nights where champagne will be in
for nothing
the exaltation of our feelings ... Kiss me ...
Prior to obey him, Natasha reached out to turn off the light before
undergoing any
full passion that nothing would annoy ...