How to Speak Like Shakespeare

Shakespearean English seems very arcane and hard to understand. At the core,
however, it is still English. Not only that, but it sounds remarkably intelligent. It thus
makes sense that you learn how to speak it. Luckily, this is surprisingly easy!

Steps

1
Read a Shakespearean play in the original if you can. Hamlet, A Midsummer Night's
Dream, Othello, and Romeo and Juliet are good candidates. This will give you an idea
of how the language is used and also increase your vocabulary with older forms and
uses of words.

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2
Replace questions of the form "Can I?" with phrases such as "I do beseech you" or "I
prithee". This archaic form sounds particularly Elizabethan, and has the benefit of being
more polite.

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3
Work on greetings. In modern times, we are satisfied with "Hello" or "How are you". To
make this sound more Shakespearean, a simple form may be "Good greetings, my
lord/lady" or, if you truly wish to know how the other is doing, try "How now, [Name]?".
Feel free to add clauses along the form of "and may you be well". You can respond with
"Likewise to you", remembering to refer to "my lord" or "my lady" A more polite and
flowery response could be "All of God's greetings upon you".

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4
Work on your farewells. Farewells can be much improved from modern "Bye!". A very
simple, no-thinking-required approach might be "Fare thee well", but this can be
improved further by considering how your conversation ended. Did you say goodbye to
someone for a long time? "Fare thee well in your travels, and may by fate we meet
again." Similarly modify your goodbyes to fit the situation.

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5
Add in more-or-less superfluous adverbs such as "humbly" - they make your
speech more flowery, which is the main effect.

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6
Shorten "it" to just "'t". For example, "it was" becomes "'twas", "do it" becomes "do't"

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7
Master forms of "thou" - use "thy" for possessive ("thine" before vowels or the
letter H), and "thee" for an object.

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8
Clearly mark off opinions with "methinks" and "forsooth".

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9
Refine your cursing. Replace "damned" with "accursed". Other adjectives can be
replaced with "traitorous", "lecherous", or "thieving". You can also refer to those of
humble origin or anyone acting servant-like as "knavish"

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10
Freely use the following words: "Anon", "As you will", "By your leave", "Carouse",
"Chide", "Cutpurse", "E"en", "E"er", "Fie", "Grammercy", "Maid or Maiden", "Marry!",
"Mayhap", "Morrow", "N"er", "Nonpariel", "Oft", "In Faith", "Perchance", "Poppet", "Pray
pardon me", "Pray tell", "Privy", "Stay", "S"wounds!", "Tosspot", "Verily", "Wench",
"Wherefore", "Yonder"

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11
Fix your verbs: Add "-st" to singular second-person verbs and "-th"/"-eth" to singular
third-person verbs. For example, "How dost thee" and "How doth he"

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12
Use "shall". It can be used to express obligation, and also in the first person.
Remember that when used with "thee" or "thou", "will" becomes "wilt" and "shall" "shalt"

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