Im Coming (back) Out

Ronit Yarosky
I have decided that Im coming back out. Of the closet.
No, if youre wondering, Im not gay. This re-outing has nothing to do with my sexuality
or gender. Rather with my politics and religion.
I am Jewish. I am Israeli. I am Canadian. I am pro-Israel. And also pro-Palestine.
So what does this make me? Torn, at the very least. Over my lifetime I have gone from dedicated
Zionist and Israeli soldier to feeling at times like I want to renounce my Israeli citizenship. Quite the
roller coaster ride.
Those who know me know that I am not shy about speaking my mind. I have strong opinions on a lot of
issues the Israeli-Palestinian conflict being at the forefront. This conflict has shaped me in numerous
ways and over several decades and I have been a vocal advocate for dialogue and a Palestinian
nationhood. I have been involved in numerous organizations working towards these goals. I have spent
many hours in the freezing cold or searing heat (depending on which country) at demonstrations. I have
spoken at conferences, on panels and in the media. I have been tear gassed, spit on, screamed at,
pushed, arrested, told my children should be killed in a suicide bombing. While working at a Jewish
organization in Montreal, the board of directors deliberated upon whether it should be permitted for
me to remain employed given my dissident opinions. At McGill University, a Jewish professor gave my
Masters thesis dealing with the tensions of Israel being both a democracy and a Jewish state - a failing
grade (5 other examiners passed it with a very good grade). Family and friends have stopped speaking
to me. They have accused me of hatred, of promoting fascism, of being a self-hating Jew, an Arab-lover,
a sinner, a traitor.
Last summer, during the invasion of Gaza, I decided that family/friend relations were more important
than my speaking out. I decided to stifle myself. I didnt post anything on social media. I didnt discuss it
in public forums, make comments, go to demonstrations. I tried to convince myself that it was ok to
take a back seat, to let someone else speak up, to keep shalom bayit peace in the home. But the
self-betrayal was enormous. There was no way I could keep this up it was only a matter of time before
political tensions flared way past boiling point.
For years, my email signature has included a quote by Arundhati Roy, that states: The trouble is, that
once you see it, you can't unsee it. And once you've seen it, keeping quiet, saying nothing, becomes as
political an act as speaking out. There's no innocence. Either way, you're accountable. Day after day I
was looking at that quote, it was poking at me poking at my conscience.
I am accountable. I am accountable.
The election in Israel has thrown me into despair. In the lead up, I continued to keep my silence. But
now my fellow citizens have elected a man whose moral compass appears to be eroded beyond reason.
They have responded in great numbers and with great enthusiasm to his fear-mongering, to his
declaration about the Arabs voting in droves, and to his clear message about perpetuating the
occupation and preventing Palestinian statehood.

My family, my friends, my community, my country: I love you but I cannot remain silent anymore. Many
of you may call me a self-hating Jew, but I am proud of who I am. You may call me a traitor to my
people, but I will not contribute to hatred. I cannot support the shield of law and the name of justice
being used in my name to perpetuate occupation and racism. I can no longer look away in shame when
human rights are being violated generation after generation. I will not close my ears when you say they
bring it on themselves, when you blame the victim for the crimes and moral degeneration of the
perpetrators. I certainly dont have all the answers. But I do know that this path can only lead us to the
very darkest of places.
Will I be a thorn in your side? An embarrassment? Someone to be ashamed of? For many of you,
probably. This is up to you to decide. But I will sleep at night, knowing that even if I cant change the
horrors of the reality, I reject them with every fibre of my soul.
Martin Luther King Jr. said that the ultimate tragedy is not the oppression and cruelty by the bad people
but the silence over that by the good people. This is a tragedy that I will no longer be silenced into
accepting. I am discouraged, but I am not alone. Let's raise our voices, together.

________________

Ronit Yarosky
Born in Canada and raised in Montreal and Israel, Ronit Yarosky grew up in a typical Jewish family. She served in
the Israeli military during the first Palestinian uprising (Intifada), and returned to Israel in 2000 just prior to the
outbreak of the second uprising, when she became active in the Israeli peace movement. Ronit has a B.A. in political
science from Concordia University, an M.A. in political science with a focus on Middle Eastern studies from McGill
University, and nearly 2 decades of experience in programming, fundraising, and the non-profit world. In 2001 she
co-founded Women in Black Montreal, and in 2003 she co-founded the award-winning Montreal Dialogue Group.
Since 2007 she has worked at Equitas International Centre for Human Rights Education.