Characters and the Concept of Belonging

Raimond

Raimond's sense of belonging to his father is shaped through his

father's constancy and consistency. As a child the first and most
significant sense of belonging that is usually established is with a mother or
primary caregiver. From the outset Romulus took that role, when Christine
quickly proved herself incapable of doing so. Romulus ensured that Raimond
felt he belonged by providing the basic life-giving necessities: 'he denied
himself so that I would have more, he fainted from hunger on more than one
occasion' (ch. 1, p. 9). This self-sacrifice when Raimond was a baby began
the process through which Romulus would continue to make Raimond feel
secure and loved in order to know he belonged. For Raimond, not going
without and feeling security when there seemed to be none later in his life
reinforces for us that he has an unwavering belief that his father will protect
and provide for him
Raimond's sense of belonging to other significant adults helps bridge
the absence of his mother. As a young child Raimond belongs to others in
his community---Hora, Mitru, the Lillies, Miss Collard. This sense of
belonging is created largely because they recognise that he lacks the
necessary presence of a mother. Some of these adult characters are driven
by pity; others, such as Hora, by a deeply felt love and affection. Hora acts in
the same selfless manner as a father would but also becomes a buffer
between Romulus and his son when things become too difficult. When Hora
arrived to care for Raimond after Romulus's first motorbike accident, Gaita
explains: 'He did everything: made my meals, washed my clothes and
prepared my school lunches' (ch. 4, p. 44). The use of the accumulation here
reflects how Hora's actions kept a sense of belonging to a home and family
alive for Raimond, who no longer had the presence of either parent. It shows
how a child's sense of belonging is still largely dependent on knowing their
basic needs will be met by someone and that it is enough to sustain their
feelings of security. The other adults who make Raimond feel he belongs
also achieve this through similar measures---Miss Collard and Miss Lillie
feed him treats; Mitru buys him shoes.
Raimond opens the path to belonging through his innocence, his
vulnerability and his polite behaviour, encouraged by his father. As a result
of these qualities, 'He was never short of offers for women to care for me.'
(ch. 5, p. 58). The light-hearted tone of this extract shows that Gaita is aware
in hindsight that had a quality such as politeness been missing from his
character perhaps he would not have been made to feel as though he
belonged so readily. This distinguishes these relationships from those with
Hora and Romulus, as these appear to be conditional means of belonging.
However, they do serve to provide comfort to Raimond during his childhood
when he needs it most.
Raimond slowly develops a sense of belonging through ideas and
learning, which eventually lead him away from his father and life at
Frogmore. Gaita reflects in his memoir that there were times in his early life
when he became conscious that learning and ideas were elements he felt

connected to. A profound encounter with nature near the Cairn Curran
reservoir (as discussed earlier), '[p]aradoxically, perhaps ... drove me deeper
into the world of books' (ch. 5, p. 62). The metaphor used in this quote
reveals the significance of learning for Raimond and, in particular, how he
felt connection and comfort through his reading. His primary school teacher,
Mottek, and later his teacher at St Patrick's, Brother Bernard Cummins, are
both mentioned by Gaita as significant catalysts to his belonging through
learning. As much as Raimond belongs to his father and the qualities he
embodies, as he grows he feels the sense of belonging to learning and
education that eventually shapes his independence from his father. By
choosing to move to Melbourne for the final years of high school and
university and in changing from psychology to philosophy---which he knew
his father believed was a 'weakness' (p. 157)---Raimond gains the
confidence to disagree and detach himself from his father's influence.
Romulus

Romulus achieves a sense of belonging to his community through

work. From his years in Yugoslavia and in Germany as a young man, it is
clear that Romulus feels the way to belong to a community is through hard
work and through proving his 'worth' to that community. On arrival in
Australia this pattern continues. He throws himself into work in order to show
his new country that he can be of value and to help establish a place for his
family in the new community. His long absences and short-tempered
outbursts recounted in the early chapters of the text reveal that this was not
without cost. Later, when he is a little more established, it allows him to
develop a 'reputation' in his community: 'his work became admired and his
business prospered' (ch. 7, p. 99). He knows that this is essential to being
accepted in this small rural town.
My father would have taken pleasure in his good name anywhere, but he
had an additional reason for it in Baringhup. Those were the days before
multiculturalism---immigrants were tolerated, but seldom accorded the
respect they deserved. (ch. 7, p. 100)
The serious tone of this reveals how work became a crucial factor in
overcoming inherent prejudices in the Australian community. These would
have been barriers to Romulus's sense of belonging.
When he returns to his blacksmith work after his second motorbike accident,
we see again how important work was to Romulus's sense of belonging.
He was so at ease with his materials and always so respectful of their nature
that they seemed in friendship with him, as though consenting to his touch
rather than subjugated by him. (ch. 7, p. 97)
The personification of his materials in this extract reinforces the sense of
harmony and the bond that exists between Romulus and his work. It defines
much of his character and serves a very important function in providing his
links to the community around him and in healing him after his many tragic
experiences.

Romulus's sense of belonging to family is challenged constantly by

Christine's actions. From the very outset of their relationship, Romulus has
his sense of belonging to family challenged and damaged by Christine's

mental illness. As soon as Raimond is born, she proves herself incapable of

fulfilling the motherly role in a conventional way. Her actions make Romulus
become quite a different father to Raimond. He has to fulfil so many aspects
of parenting alone that the way in which he belongs to Raimond is intense. It
also means that his notion of a traditional family is challenged. Christine's
affair with Mitru is a particularly difficult obstacle to the sense of belonging
Romulus is trying desperately to maintain. After Mitru writes a letter
explaining his relationship with Christine, Gaita writes:
My father never blamed him for the affair with my mother. He blamed her (in
the sense that he saw her as its primary cause) and ... he pitied Mitru,
believing he was caught in something he could not control, which would
cause him considerable pain and perhaps consume him. (ch. 6, p. 82)
The repetition of 'blamed' and the accumulation of negative diction in this
extract reinforce how difficult this experience is for Romulus. He is not able
to experience a sense of belonging to family without complications and
constant threats to its stability. His decision not to agree to a divorce
because he does not 'believe in divorce' (p. 83) also reveals that he wishes
to keep the potential to belong to a traditional family alive in the ideal, even
though he knows Christine will never make it a reality.

Romulus's sense of belonging to culture is challenged by his migration

to Australia. Romulus, throughout his life, maintains a sense of belonging to
his Romanian heritage through his actions, language, practices and beliefs.
Even when many of these things are challenged by differences in Australian
culture and life, Romulus adheres to the things he was brought up with. Also,
as much as he adjusts and exists in Australia for most of his life, he still
'longed for European society, saying that he felt like "a prisoner" in Australia'
(ch. 11, p. 169). The simile in this quote reveals that no matter how long
someone may seem on the surface to belong to a society or culture, they
may still feel a disconnection to that same society or culture. Their
experience of another culture or nation remains a barrier to a complete
sense of belonging. In particular, Romulus does not feel he belongs to
Australia because it does not value 'the generous and open forms of
conviviality that characterised European hospitality as he knew it' (ch. 11, p.
170). This comment is juxtaposed with the description that follows, in which
Romulus visits Yugoslavia in 1981 and finds it full of 'rudeness, verging on
brutality' (p. 170). This incident reveals to Romulus that what he feels he
really belongs to is not necessarily the culture he left behind but the stage of
life 'he knew as a young man' (p. 171). Romulus's mixed feelings outlined in
Chapter 11 show how difficult it is for a migrant to feel they truly belong to
either their original culture or their new one. It also shows that at times the
sense of belonging to the original culture may be influenced by the positive
memories of youth rather than the qualities of that particular culture or
nation.

Christine

Christine fails to belong to her family because of her mental illness.

From the birth of Raimond, Christine's mental illness proves too big a
barrier to belonging for her family: 'She seemed incapable of taking care

of me, ignoring my elementary needs of feeding and bathing' (ch. 1, p. 8).

The incongruence of her actions to the situation shows just how affected
by her illness Christine is. Not being able to fulfil even the basic functions
of a mother, Christine is never able to be fully accepted as a part of this
family. Her comings and goings from the family once they move to
Australia further reinforces this obstacle. Her infidelities with other men,
while in relationships with both Romulus and Mitru, also become barriers
to belonging to those relationships. Christine is not able to behave or
function in ways that society has defined as 'normal' as a mother or wife.
When Hora comes to look after Raimond after Romulus's first motorbike
accident, he is frustrated by Christine's inability to function as a normal
mother. The direct speech used in the following extract emphasises his
anger: 'Not one more word. You should be in here making your son's
breakfast and his sandwiches. Not me' (ch. 4, p. 46). The truncated
sentences and repetition in his words show how he finds it unbelievable
that Christine cannot even do a basic action that would prove her ability
to belong to the family.
Even with her new family, Mitru and Susan, Christine's mental illness
continues to be a barrier to belonging. Gaita recalls that he 'wheeled her
[Susan] in her pram for hours to get her away from my mother who could
not bear her crying' (ch. 6, p. 90). The incongruity of a young boy
showing more concern for his half-sister's welfare and for his mother's
state of mind reveals just how terrible Christine's affliction wasMitru's
suicide and Christine's eventual suicide, after many earlier failed
attempts, both show how her illness became a barrier to belonging.
Neither Christine nor Mitru are able to find life worth living when they will
never be able to belong in any way. The need to belong is integral to the
human psyche. As an adult reflecting on his mother's life and death,
Gaita is able to recognise in hindsight: 'No failing of character, no vice,
explains or even describes her incapacity properly to care for her
children' (ch. 8, p. 112). The repetition shows he knows that her illness is
the only explanation for why she was never able to belong fully to him, to
his father or to society as a whole.

Christine is rejected by the community because they see her

nonconformist behaviour as a barrier to belonging. Not only is Christine
not able to belong in the private sphere of family but she is also never able to
belong in the public sphere of community. Her neighbours and community
use her observable characteristics as elements through which they judge her
ability to belong. The community of Baringhup in the 1950s adheres strongly
to a belief in 'character' as a defining quality through which individuals show
they have the right 'fit' to the community.
Tom Lillie and others disliked my mother partly because they saw her
engaging vivacity as a dangerously seductive manifestation of personality in
a woman they believed to be lacking entirely in character---a 'characterless
woman' ... (ch. 7, p. 102)
The contrast of 'engaging' and 'dangerously' shows the opinion of the
community members is not one necessarily shared by the narrator. It also
emphasises how pervasive the opinions of others were in not accepting
Christine because of who she was and what they saw in her. Much of what

Gaita says about his mother not belonging to the Baringhup community
shows that he feels in many ways her mental illness was exacerbated by the
lack of belonging and the unwillingness of the community to accept and help
her:
The contempt for my mother, which was partly the cause of her failings as
much as it was a response to them, was the unattractive side of a
conception of value whose other side nourished a distinctively Australian
decency. (ch. 7, p. 104)
The personification used in this reflection about why his mother did not
belong shows the complex nature of belonging itself. Christine needed to
belong (as all human beings do as we are naturally social creatures) in order
to heal her illness, but paradoxically her illness meant she would never be
accepted and would never belong to that particular community in that
particular decade.
In contrast to Christine, Vacek the hermit did find a sense of belonging. The
description in Chapter 5 shows that, while mental illness can be a barrier to
belonging to community, another sense of belonging can sometimes emerge
to help fill that void. Vacek's sense of belonging comes through nature and it
enables him to exist even though his mental illness never allowed him to be
accepted into the community of Baringhup in the 1950s.