Foundational teachings on marriage and divorce

TOPICS: Today, people need a rational understanding of God s laws - people rebel a
gainst tradition without seeking deeper understanding - spiritual understanding
of marriage - balance karma and resolve your psychology - why you chose your spo
use - don t break up marriage too early - feeling entitled - using your partner as
an excuse for not growing - ego reasons for breaking up a marriage - all marria
ges require work - divorce in older times versus now - when spiritual purpose fu
lfilled, divorce is legitimate option - what to do before a divorce - higher pot
ential for marriage - the lie that you haven t found the right partner - never div
orce to run away Question: Is monogamy suited to our society? It used to be common practice to ob
ey the vows of marriage, but what if the spiritual communion between partners va
nishes with time, or fails to establish itself - or even worse, one partner feel
s connected to his/her spouse, but the other one doesn't?
Answer from ascended master Jesus through Kim Michaels:
As you say, it used to be more common to obey the vows of marriage. The fact tha
t this is no longer so is seen by many Christians as a sign of the deteriorating
morals of the time. However, there is more to the picture.
As I explain in one of my discourses, humankind is being raised to a higher leve
l of consciousness. In the present age, people should ideally attain a more rati
onal understanding of God s laws, so that they can use those laws consciously and
voluntarily align themselves with God s purpose.
Unfortunately, as I explain throughout this website, orthodox Christianity did n
ot live up to its highest potential, and therefore Christianity has not been abl
e to give people a deeper understanding of God s laws. Instead, Christianity becam
e centered in a fear-based approach to life and attempted to defend the doctrine
s of the past instead of bringing down the higher understanding of the future.
As a result of this, you now have a situation where a growing number of people s
imply cannot be satisfied by blind faith. They cannot blindly follow God s laws. Y
et because they have never been given a true understanding of the path to Christ
hood, they often end up rebelling against church dogmas and rules without replac
ing them with the higher understanding that comes from walking the path of Chris
thood.
Many people have now fallen into a state of consciousness in which they have rej
ected the old rules, such as the vows of marriage, and think that anything goes.
In other words, if it feels good, it could not possibly be wrong. This has caus
ed many people, including many truly spiritual people who have the potential for
manifesting Christhood, to become self-centered in the dualistic mind and the h
uman ego rather than self-centered in the Christ self and the I AM Presence. The
refore, they see no spiritual purpose to marriage and often break up marriages f
rom a lower motivation. So let me now attempt to give you a higher understanding
of marriage and the value of the marriage vow.
As I explain throughout this website, life can be seen as a spiritual path that
leads toward the Christ consciousness. When you accept this view of life, you re
alize that everything that happens to you is an opportunity for growth. Every si
tuation you encounter, every choice you make, will either take you one step clos
er to Christ consciousness or one step further away from Christ consciousness.
In any situation, there are most likely two elements. One is that the situation
gives you an opportunity to balance karma from the past and thereby become free
of that burden of misqualified energy. The other element is that a situation giv

es you an opportunity to learn something about yourself and the blocks in your o
wn psychology that prevent you from manifesting Christhood.
When you transfer this to marriage, you will see that a marriage is an incredibl
e opportunity to balance karma with another person. Marriage is also a great opp
ortunity for learning about your personal limitations, so that you can free your
psychology from the blocks that stand between you and Christhood. If you are tr
uly committed to spiritual growth, you will see that a marriage is not simply fo
r pleasure or convenience. It is truly an opportunity to overcome your karmic an
d psychological limitations, so that you can take a major step forward toward pe
rsonal Christhood.
I can assure you that there is hardly any marriage on earth in which people do n
ot have karma with each other. In other words, you should assume that you have k
arma with your spouse, and therefore the marriage is an opportunity to balance t
hat karma and win your freedom. I can also assure you that there is absolutely n
o marriage that does not give you an opportunity to have your psychological hang
ups exposed, so that you can deal with them consciously and leave them behind f
or good.
In fact, I can assure you that most people choose their marriage partner before
coming into embodiment. And most lifestreams make their choices based on which p
artner gives them the best opportunity to balance karma and work out the kinks i
n their psychology. In other words, the outer attraction to your marriage partne
r is simply a reflection of a deeper inner knowledge that you truly want to bala
nce your karma with that person, and you truly want to learn the lessons you can
learn from being married to that person.
When you apply this view of marriage, you realize that the last thing you want t
o do is to break up a marriage before you have fulfilled your spiritual purpose
for starting that marriage. In other words, you don't want to break up the marri
age before you have balanced all karma with your spouse. And you don't want to b
reak up the marriage before you have learned all psychological lessons you could
learn from that person. If you do, those problems will simply move with you int
o your next relationship.
When you have this deeper understanding of the spiritual implications of a marri
age, you can see that many people break up a marriage before they have balanced
the karma or learned their lessons. In fact, many people make more karma and sol
idify their psychological hang ups rather then resolving them.
This happens partly because people do not understand the spiritual side of the e
quation but also because they have become too anchored in the lower self and its
egotistical needs and desires. This causes people to feel many negative feeling
s toward their partner. One of the most common is that a person feels that he or
she is entitled to something from a partner. This is true because you are entit
led to something from your partner, namely an opportunity to balance the karma a
nd resolve your psychology. Yet that gift is present in every marriage if only you
are open to receiving it.
Unfortunately, what happens to many people is that they become centered in the l
ower desires of the human ego. Therefore, they begin to feel that they are entit
led to some outer thing from their partner and when the partner does not deliver
, they start to feel that they are being shortchanged. This then makes them feel
that they are being treated unfairly, and instead of taking responsibility for
their personal path, they begin blaming the partner. Obviously, the moment you s
tart blaming someone else, your spiritual growth inevitably comes to a halt.
As I explain throughout this website, everything revolves around your free will.
The only thing that can bring you one step higher on your personal path is that

you take responsibility for your present situation and make the highest possibl
e choice in that situation. As soon as you begin to blame your marriage partner
for your lack of growth or fulfillment, you are refusing to take responsibility,
and therefore you cannot make the choices that will help you grow.
You cannot make those choices because you have managed to get yourself into a st
ate of consciousness in which you think it is the other person who needs to make
certain choices. And as long as your partner will not change, you feel that you
cannot change either. This of course is the ultimate lie of the human ego, and
it is precisely the lie that your ego, as the enemy within, and the dark forces,
as the enemy without, will use to trap you in your current state of mind and pr
event you from taking that next step on your personal path.
What I am trying to explain here is that any marriage, no matter how unfulfillin
g it might seem from the perspective of the ego, offers your lifestream an oppor
tunity for growth. If you have decided to marry a person, you should accept the
fact that your lifestream had a very good spiritual reason for prompting your ou
ter mind to make that decision.
You should assume that your lifestream truly wants to balance all karma with tha
t person and learn particular lessons from the marriage. Therefore, until those
inner, spiritual goals are fulfilled, you would actually harm your spiritual gro
wth by breaking up the marriage. It is especially dangerous to break up a marria
ge because your human ego is disappointed over your partner s perceived shortcomin
gs. This will only anchor you more firmly in the grips of the ego and make it mo
re difficult for you to grow. My point being that if you have taken a marriage v
ow, you should fulfill that vow by remaining committed to your spouse and dilige
ntly work to balance your karma and learn your lessons.
You ask what should happen when the spiritual communion between partners vanishe
s or was never there. As I said, there is always a spiritual purpose for a marri
age. This does not necessarily mean that the partners feel spiritual communion o
r even mutual love and respect. The marriage can be very unfulfilling from an ou
ter perspective, but there can still be the opportunity to balance karma and res
olve psychology.
So you would do well to approach the marriage with the clear intention of fulfil
ling those two goals. This will make it far easier to endure any marriage and th
e inevitable disappointments that come with virtually any human relationship. It
will also increase the likelihood that you and your spouse can gradually balanc
e the karma and resolve your psychology. Thereby, you can actually begin to supp
ort each other and have greater spiritual communion. In other words, no marriage
will work unless you make a sincere effort to make it work.
That being said, it is true that there can come a point when the marriage no lon
ger fulfills a spiritual purpose. In that case, it can be beneficial to the spir
itual growth of both partners to break up the marriage and move on. I realize th
is will shock many Christians who think back to my statements about divorce in t
he Bible. So let me explain this in greater detail.
First of all, any spiritual teaching is adapted to the consciousness of the peop
le to whom it was given. When I appeared 2,000 years ago, many men would divorce
their wives when they no longer found them young and attractive. They would the
n marry a younger wife to fulfill their sexual desires. Because of the social co
nditions existing at the time, it was virtually impossible for a woman to earn a
living on her own. Therefore, many such women had no other option but to turn t
o prostitution, which was considered a sin and highly condemned by society.
This situation was a clear reflection of the abusive attitude toward women that
many cultures have had for thousands of years. Many men considered women as a co

mmodity that they could get rid of when they no longer served their purposes. As
a part of my effort to restore the rightful role of women, as I explain elsewhe
re, I needed to make a very strong statement against divorce. This was done part
ly for the protection of women and partly to help men avoid making the karma of
abusing women, thereby increasing the imbalance between the feminine and masculi
ne aspect of their own nature and stopping their spiritual growth.
In today's world you do have a situation where a woman can earn a living without
a husband. You also have laws that protect the rights of a woman after a divorc
e, and you have more social services. Therefore, it is no longer correct to say
that a divorce is against the laws of God or my commands. It is possible to have
a lawful divorce when a marriage no longer fulfills its spiritual purpose. This
is especially true when a marriage involves emotional or physical abuse. In tha
t respect, destroying or hindering a person s spiritual growth is the ultimate for
m of abuse.
However, I must caution people that most of the divorces that occur today are no
t lawful in a spiritual sense. Most people get a divorce because their egos make
them feel disappointed in the marriage, as explained above. Therefore, to get a
divorce is a serious decision that should only be made after long and careful c
onsideration, and preferably it should come as an intuitive revelation from your
Christ self.
I would highly recommend that anyone who considers having a divorce would first
take steps to ensure that the spiritual purpose of the marriage is fulfilled. Th
at would include applying the Violet Flame to consume all karma, and it should i
nclude doing everything possible to learn your lessons about your psychology. As
part of this, you should consider doing various kinds of marriage counseling or
therapy and make a sincere effort to make the marriage work. I would also cauti
on people to do the 33-day vigil and seek attunement with your Christ self befor
e you make any final decision.
Let me now comment on a passage from Matthew, Chapter 19:
3 The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and
ful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?
4 And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read,
] at the beginning made them male and female,
5 And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and
to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?
6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What
d together, let not man put asunder.

saying unto him, Is it law

that he which made [them
mother, and shall cleave
therefore God hath joine

The key statement is that no man should put asunder what God has joined together
. The inner meaning of that statement is that you should not allow your human eg
o and dualistic mind to cause you to divorce a spouse before the marriage has fu
lfilled the spiritual purpose defined by your lifestream. In other words, a high
er authority (what I call God), meaning your lifestream in council with your spi
ritual teachers, brought you together with your spouse for a specific purpose. Y
ou should remain true to that purpose until it has been fulfilled. And you shoul
d not allow your lower mind and the desires of that lower mind (what I call man)
to detract you from the spiritual purpose of the marriage.
Take note also that the man and wife can become one flesh. The true spiritual me
aning of that statement is that man and wife have the potential to enter a highe
r state of union, an inner spiritual union. If the two partners will diligently
work on resolving their karma and psychology, they can help each other attain ba
lance between the masculine and feminine aspects of their beings. When that bala
nce is attained on an individual level, the two partners can achieve a much high
er degree of union than is possible otherwise. This then leads to a much higher

sense of fulfillment and purpose in a marriage. This union between man and wife
is a representative of the union between the lifestream and the spiritual self.
It can indeed help both partners achieve that inner union, and therefore a marri
age which lives up to its highest potential can be a great spiritual boost for b
oth partners.
Let me make it clear that not every marriage can achieve that higher union. Yet
I must also caution you that the majority of marriages do have this potential. I
n other words, it is very common for people to experience a disappointment in th
e early years of a marriage. This disappointment is due to the fact that each pe
rson is unwhole and expects that the partner should make them feel whole. When t
he feeling of wholeness is not there, it is so easy to fall for the lie of the e
go that you simply have not found the right partner. And if only you found the r
ight partner, you would immediately be in marital bliss.
This is simply a lie. You could be married to your twin flame, yet as long as th
ere is karma and unresolved psychology, there can be no bliss. Most marriage par
tners have the potential to experience true wholeness. However, that wholeness c
an only be attained when each partner has individual wholeness, meaning that the
person has resolved a certain amount of karma and psychology.
My point is that there are situations where you should end a marriage in order t
o advance the spiritual growth of both partners, or at least the partner who is
interested in spiritual growth. Yet it would be extremely wise to make a sincere
and wholehearted effort to make the marriage live up to its highest potential b
efore you decide on a divorce. If you leave one partner before you have resolved
your psychology, you are likely to attract another partner who will bring out t
hat same unresolved psychology in yourself. Only it is likely that your second p
artner might do it in a more extreme manner than your first partner. So why not
work it out with your first partner? Once you have worked out your psychology, i
t might be prudent to move on. Yet when you have worked out your psychology, you
r first marriage might indeed be so fulfilling that you see no reason to move on
.
In other words, you should never have a divorce because your ego wants to run aw
ay from something that isn't good enough. There really is no point in chasing th
e marital rainbow, because I can assure you that there is no pot of gold at the
end of it. You should have a divorce only when you know, through a deep, inner k
nowing, that it is time to move on to something that is better in a true spiritu
al sense.