I'm not quite certain what to make of "responsibility" but here is what makes fo

r a good life in a 3 x 3 checklist format.

-3 goals to achieve happiness:
[ ] Stay organized. This is by far the easiest way to save time and money.
[ ] Have integrity. Be the better person.
[ ] Gain competence. Become the better professional.
Result: Happiness through accomplishment.
3 skills to protect happiness:
[ ] Forgiveness. Let go, be indifferent, be on your way. Let bygones be bygo
nes.
[ ] Detachment. You will inevitably emotionally attach yourself to things th
at matter, but often times we overestimate what matters. Don't emotionally inves
t too much into the past or into the future. Don't let mistakes move you. Have f
aith in what you are doing.
[ ] Honesty. We cannot always be honest with others, but we sometimes have t
he hardest time with ourselves. If anything, be blatantly honest with yourself.
Nothing good will come of messing with your own head.
Result: Happiness with persistence.
3 steps to create happiness:
[ ] Define happiness (think). If you cannot define it, you don't know it. An
d defining is not describing. Yes, choose your definition. It's about you.
[ ] Do happiness (act). Thinking is not doing. What you do is the difference
you make. To make a difference for the better, one must act.
[ ] Build happiness (invest). Doing is not building. Be it a home, a family,
a work environment, an entertainment system, happiness stacks. Invest in your s
tack. Engineer your life so it's how you want it. Plant flowers that make you sm
ile. Find a pet that helps you forget. Embed joy into every wall. Manufacture h
appiness.
Result: Happiness by design.
-To complement the above here are 7 insights into the human condition and the nat
ure of happiness for your consideration:
Without intent, we mostly treat others how we treat ourselves. It all begins
with being kind and thoughtful to yourself, and being comfortable with your own
presence. You are stuck with you, so learn to get along. You are always in the
room with yourself. If you enjoy your own company, it'll make you a warmer and f
uzzier person, and it will make other warm and fuzzy people want to join the par
ty. Both happiness and misery are contagious. Be with happy people and stay away
from people who enjoy being miserable. There is no need to confront them either
.
We are who we tell ourselves we are. What we wear, eat, watch and listen to,
all contribute to our self narrative. If you begin to tell yourself you are unh
appy or undeserving, it's a sign you just became unhappy and undeserving. Do wha

t makes you happy, but read what you're doing and listen to what you tell yourse
lf so you know when you are actually sad. In other words, do what makes you desc
ribe to yourself and others as being happy.
Feelings are not opinions. They are facts. Never argue with your emotions or
those of others. Emotions make us who we are. Words cannot change that. Thinkin
g cannot change that. Emotions are real from the very beginning. They lead us pl
aces both good and bad, but let them be your guide, and never attempt to guide y
our emotions. At best, it is being dishonest with yourself. One must be blatantl
y honest with thy self to understand one's happiness.
The sum of progress is greater than any moment of accomplishment. It's not g
ain, as much as it is anticipation. It's not the goal, as much as it is the jour
ney to get there. Place events in the future that you cannot wait for. Plan jou
rneys that are enjoyable, regardless of their destination. Contribute to what we
inevitably spend most of our time doing: waiting and traveling. There is prolo
nged happiness in waiting for what is good, as there is in knowing you are headi
ng somewhere wonderful. Life is a journey. Thinking of it in terms of events and
destinations will lead you to waste most of it.
Happiness is here and now. If you are not happy now, you might as well admit
you are not happy. Happiness is not in the past, sometime in the future, or at
the end of any road. It can't be obtained through reasoning or acquired through
thought. It can only be felt in this exact moment where you are standing. The d
istance between you and happiness is 0. You're either happy or you're not. It's
easy to time travel in our heads, and go places where we are not, but we are als
o often too smart for our own good. Too many of us spend most of our lives plann
ing for happiness, when we could have been happy instead! Focus on the current m
oment. Make some sacrifices. If something isn't making you happy, there is a goo
d chance you have overestimated its value. You are here, and life is now. There
are no exceptions.
Gratification is physical. All anyone needs to do is push the right buttons.
Whether it's a gourmet meal, your favorite sport, being with the right company,
or walking down the beach on a bright sunny day, letting the tip of the waves g
ently caress your bare ankles, our body physically reacts when certain buttons a
re pushed. One of them will even give you an orgasm. So find your buttons. They
are part of your architecture as a human being, and are scattered all over your
body and mind. It's all about accurately understanding your nature. If you're co
nfused, maybe you either: a) haven't been honest with yourself, b) keep ignoring
the signals your body gives you, c) let someone tell you how you should feel, o
r d) have been thinking too much without actually pushing anything. Pushing requ
ires action. Understanding comes with experimentation. Study your buttons.
Happiness emerges. The buttons that gratify us emerge and evolve with us, ph
ysically, mentally, and circumstantially. There will be a time when cotton candy
alone will make you giddy. There will be a time when holding hands on a date is
heaven on Earth. There will be a time when the birth of your child will make yo
u cry uncontrollably. Happiness is a fast moving target. Emergence is tricky bec
ause it is a spontaneous appearance. Thinking and analyzing works for what you a
re aware of, but for whatever it is that is yet to come, one can only be observa
nt and prepared. It may take some effort if you're starting from "miserable", bu
t the seeds of happiness are everywhere, and they will continue to pop up with e
very evolving moment. Happiness is a game of Whac-A-Mole. Feel free to use both
hands.
-For those who already seek happiness, this may feel redundant, but for anyone st
ill conflicted here is what I think might be the biggest catch, and the most com
mon misconception about happiness ever: That you need to be happy.
Nope. You don't. No one can force a good life on anyone, not even you on yoursel

f. There are many things we can live without. Happiness is one of them. No one h
as ever died from not being happy. It takes far more than that to commit suicide
. Hence many of us are somewhere between okay and not bad, and we are totally ok
ay with that. Happiness can wait. We are quick to sacrifice our own happiness an
d the happiness of others because we know this as a fact. We trade happiness for
other things that we want, and many of those things do not make us happy.
We tell ourselves things like "I cannot eat this because it will make me fat," o
r "I'm not worthy, because I'm ugly," or "If I fail, my life is over," or even,
"This sucks, but it's for my family," or "It's for my country." These are the th
ings that are only true if you want them to be. And they can lead to a life of f
eeling content in your own misery. Misery when justified can be very satisfying.
We'd rather be miserable but have it make sense, rather than be happy for no re
ason.
Even if you're miserable, never feel miserable about not being as happy as you t
hink you should be. That will make you more miserable than the sum of your probl
ems.
Happiness is a luxury. It is a matter of preference, priority, and discipline. I
t is acquired through skill and habit, which can often be traced to one's upbrin
ging and social habitat. Happiness is about core values and one's approach to li
fe. Happiness must be sought. Hence, before you define happiness, you must defin
e a good life and have it include happiness. Only then can a checklist of any so
rt be put to real use. Only then can you focus on understanding your own happine
ss and the happiness of others, and make it all work. If you've come to desire,
you've made it half way.
-In this day and age, those of us who value happiness are mostly happy, and even
those who usually aren't can be happy for the moments we value it. Let the miser
able people be miserable. If they claim they'd rather be happy, just ask what th
ey've sacrificed lately. That list will most likely include their happiness. Ha
ppiness can be traced easily, as can misery.
A good life is not difficult. Don't let anyone convince you otherwise. Those peo
ple do not share your values, and will rob you of your happiness.