The Ghost and the Girl

Once there was a ghost

who lived in an attic.
And he was the happiest ghost
-for a timefor he had made a friend,
a lovely little girl,
smart, funny, and witty.
The girl knew he was a ghost,
and yet she didnt mind,
because she wasnt afraid.
They would spend hours together,
the ghost and the girl,
and they would just stay in the attic
talking about everything
under the sun,
like what the ghost was like
in his past life,
and what the girl wanted to be
when she grew up.
The years passed,
seasons changed,
and soon the pretty girl
grew into a beautiful woman.
And yet the ghost remained
exactly the same
as the day he died.
One night,
the girl dressed herself
in a beautiful gown,
painted her face,
and curled her hair.
The ghost saw this,
and he wanted to tell her
how beautiful she looked.
So he eagerly waited
for the sound of
the girls footsteps
climbing the stairs
to the attic.
But the ghost
never heard the sound

of the girls footsteps.

What he heard instead
were the sounds of
the front door opening,
followed by excited shrieks and laughter.
The ghost looked out
the attic window
just in time to see
the girl in her beautiful gown
get into a car
with her friends.
Her real friends,
alive and breathing,
flesh and blood.
The ghost wanted to cry,
wishing that he could be real
so he could join her,
or wishing she could be a ghost
so he could join him.
And the ghost sobbed,
yet no tears came out
because he was a ghost,
and he wasnt real enough
-he was never real enoughto be part of her world.

The White Rabbits Gambit

Alice was a curious girl,
and a bit of a tomboy,
who loved to go out alone
and take long walks
around the countryside.
She loved searching for rabbit holes,
and she would poke each hole she came across
to check how deep it would go.
One such hole caught her attention,
for it was very, very deep,
and when she poked it with a long stick,
out popped the head of a white rabbit.
Alice was stunned

when the rabbit spoke,

Hey, watch it.
Oh, my, exclaimed Alice.
I am so sorry!
She had never seen
a talking rabbit before,
and she found this
really fascinating.
Soon they became friends,
and they would spend
whole afternoons together,
just talking and enjoying
each others company.
The rabbit fascinated her,
for he was smart and could talk,
and was not like the others.
The girl fascinated him,
for she was curious and strange,
and was not like the others.
Then one Saturday evening,
as they were watching the sun set,
the White Rabbit asked Alice,
I know its none of my business,
but tell me... do you still
go out and look
for other rabbits
to be friends with?
No, answered Alice
quite coldly.
And yes, it is
none of your business.
The White Rabbit was hurt
at her reply,
and so he dashed off
and hopped back
into his deep rabbit hole.
But he wasnt really hurt.
This was a gambit,
designed to find out
if the White Rabbit

was special,
or merely one rabbit
among many.
And so the White Rabbit waited
at the bottom of his rabbit hole,
but Alice never followed him down.
He looked up at the night sky,
and soon the stars
faded into sunlight,
which meant Sunday had come,
yet there was still no sign of Alice.
Ill give her one more day,
thought the White Rabbit.
If she doesnt come down by Monday,
I will come up and apologise
for being too jealous.
The White Rabbit missed her,
but he couldnt come up yet,
because had already set the gambit,
and had to play it through
to the end.
But he didnt need to wait
until the next morning.
For on that beautiful Sunday night,
the White Rabbit looked up
from the bottom of his rabbit hole,
and he smiled as he saw
the spry little silhouette
of the lovely girl Alice
as she tried to climb down
all the way to the bottom
of the deepest rabbit hole
she had ever seen.

The Secret Nickname

He called her
a lot of names,
such as:
Old Woman

for her musical taste;

Our Lady of Lourdes
for her self-proclaimed
purity and chastity; and
Mrs. Nitpick
for her annoying eye for detail,
among others.
But his favourite
nickname for her:
Time Machine,
because every second
he was with her,
he felt like a 16-year old
high school boy
talking to his
high school crush.

The Secret Curse of Queen Larissa, the Lady of Lourdes

The tallest tower
stood silhouetted
against the night sky,
and the armour-clad figure
of Sir Gawaine of Genoa
scaled the sides
of the tower
towards the open window
at the very top.
Finally,
whispered the knight,
let us get to the bottom
of this mystery.
Once a month,
the beautiful Queen Larissa,
the Lady of Lourdes,
locked herself inside
the highest room
of the highest tower.
Everyone in the castle
nay, everyone in the kingdom
knew why she did this. Everyone

except Sir Gawaine.

What does she do in that room?
The brave knight asked.
And why once a month?
Witchcraft,
some people whispered.
Our good queen is a witch,
and she casts her spells
using the light of the full moon.
Dark magic,
others said.
She can divine the future
by communing with
the souls of the departed.
Even though
the brave Sir Gawaine
had seen strange lights
and heard strange sounds
emanating from
the top of the tower,
he refused to believe
any of those tales.
He wanted to find the answer
for himself.
He had to see the truth
with his own two eyes.
Finally,
Sir Gawaine reached
the open window
of the highest room
of the highest tower.
Grabbing the window sill,
he hoisted himself up,
and his eyes widened
at the sight that met him.
In the middle of the room,
lying asleep on the floor, was
the biggest,
scariest,
and hariest

she-wolf
the knight had ever seen.
Following his first instinct,
Sir Gawaine drew his sword,
ready to lop the head off
the sleeping she-wolf.
But where is Queen Larissa?
Gawaine wondered.
Perhaps she is dead
killed by this creature.
But there is no blood,
and no signs of a struggle,
so perhaps the queen has escaped.
The knight tried to move closer,
but his armour was rusty,
and it made a very
soft squeaking sound.
Suddenly, the she-wolf stirred,
yawned, and then opened her eyes
to see the brave Sir Gawaine
staring back at her.
It was then that the answer hit him.
His beloved Queen Larissa,
the Lady of Lourdes,
locked herself once a month
in the highest room
of the highest tower
not because of witchcraft,
and definitely not because
of dark magic.
The Queen was a werewolf,
and once a month,
during the three days of the Full Moon,
she turned into a monster,
a creature of pure evil.
As the jaws of the werewolf
closed in over Sir Gawaines head,
he deeply regretted
ignoring the Queens advice to him
just the day before:

Stay away from me.

Its for your own good.
Yes, it was for my own good,
thought Sir Gawaine,
as the werewolf snapped her jaws shut,
breaking the knights neck,
killing him.

The Little Boy and the White Balloon

The little boys
favourite toy
was his white balloon.
He tied the string
round his wrist,
so it could follow him
wherever he went,
and it could
hover over him
when he slept.
The boy and the balloon
were inseparable;
always together,
walking, running,
always playing,
always having fun.
And soon
the boy became
attached
to the white balloon,
in a way that was
stronger than the string
that connected them.
Little by little, the little
boy began to notice
the string drooping
and the white balloon
floating just a bit
lower every day.

And he remembered what

hed been taught in school:
Balloons contain helium,
which causes them to float.
But balloons also have
a lifespan, after which
it loses all its helium
and ceases to fly.
The boy realised
that all thisthe balloon,
the helium,
and him
-all this
will end
soon.
So while holding back
his tears and biting
his trembling lower lip,
the little boy
untied the string
round his wrist,
and choked a goodbye
as he watched
the white balloon
rise into the air,
leaving him
forever.

The Breadstick Who Wished to Be a Pretzel

Once there was
a breadstick
who was tired of being
stiff and straight.
She wanted curves
and flexibility;
she wanted to be
a pretzel,
bent and twisted
in an elegant knot.

But to be a pretzel,
she had to learn to bend,
and so she asked help from her friend
the earthworm,
because he was thin
and slippery,
and could tie himself
in a knot.
Help me, Mr. Earthworm,
said the breadstick.
Teach me how
to become a pretzel.
The earthworm studied
the breadstick
from head to toe,
and noticed her body
was covered in a fine powder
of crushed garlic
and salt.
Id love to help her,
thought the earthworm,
but I cant move
any closer,
as the salt on her body
would be lethal to mine.
Yet despite that,
the earthworm kept silent,
because he wanted the breadstick
to be happy,
even at the cost
of his own life.
So the earthworm
started slithering
all over the breadstick,
lubricating her,
leaving a trail of
slippery slime
all over her body.
Then he started nudging her,
moving the breadstick
over, around, and under

herself, until she finally

had herself tied up
in a perfect pretzel knot.
Look at me! screamed
the breadstick, who was now
a perfect, pretty pretzel.
Im so beautiful!
Thank you!
But when she glanced
at the earthworm,
her heart broke,
for the salt on her body
rubbed off on the earthworm,
whose body was now lying in a
half-melted puddle.
Why? asked the pretzel,
choking through her tears.
Why didnt you tell me
the salt would kill you?
Its all right,
wheezed the earthworm
with his dying breathe.
I just wanted you
to be happy.
And the earthworm vanished
into a puddle of slime,
while the pretty pretzel
knelt down over him,
crying.

Mistaken Identities, or The Aftermath of the Raid of the

Royal Navy Against the South China Pirate Federation
The pirate woke up,
with the sun in his eyes
and the sand on his back.
He sat up,
sputtering seawater, sand,

and broken shell

from his mouth.
He was on an island,
and he tried to remember
how he got there.
He remembered
a gathering of the
seven pirate chiefs
of the South China Sea.
He remembered
standing on the deck
of his ship, spyglass in hand,
fear in his eyes,
as the sails of the Royal Navy
suddenly appeared out of nowhere
and chased down the seven ships,
who began to set sail and scatter.
He remembered
an explosion or two,
maybe more, and the next thing
he knew, he was awake
on this unknown island,
alone.
Or so he thought,
for at that moment, he heard
a coughdainty,
barely inaudible,
and definitely feminine.
Suddenly, a female figure
stood up, and dusted herself off,
the sun reflecting on her
earrings, bracelets, and necklaces
of bright Aztec gold.
Avast! thought the pirate.
A beautiful pirate babe!
So he approached her
and started twirling his mustache.
Ahoy, said the pirate.
Were ye in the gathering?
Aye, she replied. I was.

Would ye appen t remember,

asked the pirate,
which direction we came from?
Where is the pirate fleet?
I dont know, she replied.
And under whose ship did ye sail?
asked the pirate.
I dont remember, she answered.
What a stupid girl! thought the pirate.
Clearly, she is no pirate babe.
Probably a slave woman
who managed to snatch
a few trinkets
before jumping ship.
Avast there, woman, said the pirate.
Under the laws of the
South China Pirate Federation,
I claim you as a spoil of war.
You are to be a slave woman
aboard my ship, with the right
to pillage and plunder
as part of my crew.
Ship? she asked, laughing.
I dont see any ship.
But theres my ship
over there, approaching.
she said, pointing
to a huge vessel
that seemed to have come
out of nowhere.
And the pirate stared
with his mouth open
as he saw several longboats
launch from the ship.
And as the longboats rowed their way
closer and closer,
he slowly realised that
this woman was no pirate babe.

The woman before him was

Shu Lien, the Pirate Queen of Singapore,
and he knew as soon as
the longboats reached shore,
he would be
a dead man.

The Phantom Flabs

And she lay down on the operating table,
preparing herself mentally for the
Arm Tightening Procedure
she was about to undergo.
She was a lovely and petite
young woman, but she had grown
extremely self-conscious of her body,
especially after giving birth.
She had blown up like a balloon
during her pregnancy, but
as soon as her baby was born,
she deflated back
to her original state
all except her arms, particularly
the fat flabs on her triceps.
The surgeon leaned over her,
and plunged a syringe into her arm.
The anaesthesia will take effect,
he told her, after a few minutes.
Meanwhile, I have to know
how much fat I need to take out.
To do that, I must measure your arm.
The surgeon pulled out
the empty syringe
then stepped out of the room,
leaving the woman lying down
on the operating table
alone
with her thoughts.
The effects of the anaesthesia
slowly crept into her system,

bringing with it a flood

of memories.
She remembered
her little baby boy,
chomping on her arm
like a velociraptor
when he was awake,
and hugging and drooling on it
like a pillow
when he was asleep.
She remembered
her husband,
pinching her arm
playfully when he was nice,
painfully when he was mad,
and absent-mindedly the rest of the time.
And she remembered
the argument she had
with her husband,
about how she was being
overly-conscious over
something so trivial.
And she remembered
the number of people
who had ever told her
that her arms were too flabby:
Zero.
When the surgeon came back,
tape measure in hand,
he was surprised to see
sheets strewn on the floor,
the operating table empty,
save for a short note that read,
Dear Doctor,
I am so sorry,
but I really cant do this.
The surgeon smiled,
for he knew the woman

had perfectly normal arms

which werent flabby at all.
But his smile soon gave way
to a worried look, because
somewhere in the hospital halls,
a woman was walking away
in a sedated shuffle,
holding one heavy,
anaesthesised arm.

The Amicus Project

Before it was shut down, the Amicus Project was the research and
development project whose main objective was to create a wormhole, a
portal between the two galaxies of Acquintas and Amicus. It was supposed to
be remembered as the bridge that cut intergalactic travel time down to
milliseconds. Instead, the Amicus Project would go down in history for the
reason it was shut downthe glitch.
BACKGROUND:

Acquintas Nebula
Designation: Galaxy, Third Class
Star systems: 5
Inhabited: 3
Major planets: Acquintasia, Deluzian I, Phasmid-XG
Dominant species: Human
Dominant race: Acquintan

Amicus Galactic Federation

Designation: Autonomous Galaxy, First Class
Star systems: 23
Inhabited: 17
Major planets: Amicus Primus, Amicus Secundus, Dabarquad V
Dominant species: Human
Dominant race: Amici
*****
The Amici imposed

very strict requirements

regarding entry into their system.
Generally, third-class galactic citizens
were considered by the Amici as
a lower species, sub-human,
infinitely inferior.
In selecting the Guinea Pig
for the Amicus Project,
three factors were
taken into consideration.
First: Genetics.
The Guinea Pig must be
of Amici descent.
Second: Intelligence.
In the event of a succesful crossover,
the Guinea Pig must be equipped
with the same intellectual abilities
as any ordinary Amici citizen
to be able to integrate fully
into this new system.
And third: Expendability.
In the event of a failure,
the Guinea Pig must present
no significant loss
to both galactic governments.
After an extensive selection process,
the Amicus Project selected
for their Guinea Pig
Acquintan prisoner number 8997161,
for satisfying all the requirements.
It was agreed that
as long as the Guinea Pig
successfully crossed the portal,
dead or alive,
he would be honoured
as an Amici citizen.
Finally, on the
day of the crossing,
a hundred billion Acquintans
tuned in to watch
the historic event.
But as soon as

the Guinea Pig

entered the portal,
it happened.
The glitch.
At the exact moment
the Guinea Pig was
inside the wormhole,
the power surged,
causing all the equipment
to flicker and reboot.
And in that split-second,
the Guinea Pig disappeared.
He went into the portal,
but he never came out of it.
It has been theorised that
the wormhole could not handle
the mass of a human body,
which caused the wormhole
to collapse on itself,
obliterating the Guinea Pig,
disintegrating him
down to his atoms.
Others believe that
the Guinea Pig did not
disappear. They believe
he actually went
somewhere, to that place
which was neither
Acquintas nor Amicus.
The Guinea Pig
of the Amicus Project,
Acquintan prisoner number 8997161
is believed to have gone
all the way back to
the beginning,
back to when he was
nothing.

"The Universe Down Under"

*This is a sequel to "The White Rabbit's Gambit".

Alice had been missing

for several days and,
as was standard procedure
in missing children's cases,
she was quarantined
as soon as she was found.
She was, on the whole,
cooperative, answering
every question asked
by the authorities,
the child psychologists,
and her parents.
Questions such as:
Who were you with?
(I was with my friend,
the White Rabbit.)
Is the White Rabbit
a person, or a real rabbit?
(He's a real rabbit.
He's white, and
he can talk.)
What were you and
the White Rabbit doing?
(Nothing. We just talked.
We talked a lot.)
Where did you and
the White Rabbit go?
(Nowhere. Just the
White Rabbit's house.
Down his rabbit hole).
But there was one
question which Alice
refused, or seemed reluctant
to answer. She would
clam up and suddenly
go deaf, pretending she couldn't
hear a thing, whenever
she was asked the question:
"How far down
the Rabbit Hole
were you able to go?

The Silence of the Vacuum

There are
different types
of communication.
Although the
message and the medium
may vary,
there are
elements common
to all of them.
First, the Idea,
which comes from
the Divine.
Second, the Word,
the Idea's thought
made flesh.
And third, the Medium,
the vessel for the Word
in physical form.
There are also
different types
of silence.
The rarest type
is called
"The Vacuum".
What's strange
is that while
the act of
communication
involves a
multi-step process,
it still requires more
effort and energy
to maintain
the silence of
the Vacuum.