24 [Park Chanyeol] Two ends of the balance

I lifted up the man who was leaning limply against my chest and carried him into our shared bedroom.
I put him down on the bed and immediately climbed on top of him.
I kissed him softly. This time, I wanted to be gentle.
Even though I was kissing him gently, he did not dare touch me. Instead, he clutched onto the hem of
him own shirt, as if it was a habit from my normal aggression.
I let go of his lips and started to unbutton his shirt.
I used to hurt you I whispered in a soft voice, all the time, am I right.
He bit his lips and remained silent.
I tugged his shirt off. His body beneath the cloth looked especially thin, thinner than what I
remembered. I could see the curve of his protruding bones, and the paleness of his body. There was
still the tiny scar from the incision of his previous surgery. I could still remember vaguely, how there
used to be lines and dents of muscles on his slim wrist, but now, he looked sickly and weak.
Since he was admitted to the hospital I had not touched him. I knew he was losing weight rapidly, but
I had no idea that the body hidden under his clothes was this emaciate.
If his body was like this, no matter how gently I treat him, itd be considered harm.
How did you become so skinny? I asked with a frown.
My prolonged gaze made him shy. He grabbed the clothes beside him and covered his body, then
lowered his eyes, not looking at him.
It must look really ugly.
I sighed and lifted the clothing above his body.
Then I lowered my body and kissed him again.
If it hurts, tell me.
As if he had not understood what I just said, he turned his head to the side as soon as our eyes met.
I leaned forward to kiss his neck as my hand reached into his pants. I used a finger to start to stretch
him. He frowned from the foreign object inside of him.
I kissed the corner of his eyes again as I reached another finger in.
Ahhh He let out a soft moan with his face flushed.
He looked beautiful.
Does it feel okay now? I asked as I inserted the third finger.

I heard the way the question left my mouth, it sounded slightly hoarse with a hint of impatience. Was
Park Chanyeol born impatient? But with this guy, I thought I should start to contain myself.
He looked at me, after hesitating for a while, he spoke in a soft voice, YoudontYou dont have
to do this
No its okay.
Just, just like how you used to, its fineYoullfeel really uncomfortable like this He said with
much care.
Like how I used to? But, but then youll feel uncomfortable.
Ill be fine.
I felt a certain rush of feelings in my heart.
I did not reply, but watched him. He looked as if he was trying to gather courage, then he watched me
cautiously as he reached his hand downwards to touch my rising desire.
In a few strokes, I was at my brink. I cursed in a low voice as I removed my fingers, and thrust into
the heat. His walls contracted such that I let out a groan in pleasure, at the same time I heard his
moans as well.
Ah
I leaned down and opened up his lips with a scorching kiss, his soft moans fell into my mouth.
Louder, I said as our lips separated, looking into his glistening eyes.
Ah...
Baekhyun-ah.
HngAhh
Call my name.
ChanChanyeolA-Ahhh
I was satisfied as I continued on with the rhythmic thrusts. But I saw his eyes tear up.
Then a drop of tear rolled down.
It still hurts? I stopped immediately and asked him with a frown.
N-No, He shook his head immediately, and wiped his tears, It doesnt hurt at all.
Then why are you crying?
Dont mind me
I smiled, and arched my back to push my heat into his and continued on from just now.
Ah! He called out, unprepared. But he bit his lips immediately.

Does it still hurt? I teased.

He shook his head.
His warm body seemed as if it held a spell, constantly drawing me in and I let myself be absorbed in
all his beauty.
ChanyeolIAhC-can I hug you? His sentence was shattered by my forceful drives into him. I
spoke nothing but pull his arms up to be wrapped around my neck.
I was in endless desire.
--Afterwards, I let myself go in him. I lay down on my side and pulled him into my embrace,
remembering to pull a part of the blanket over to cover him.
He was still recovering. With his half-opened eyes, he gasped softly.
Am I dreaming? He asked.
No.
He opened his eyes and looked at me, When tomorrow comeswill you still be like this?
Yeah.
He closed his eyes again out of tiredness.
How nice.
I kissed his forehead.
Hey, happy birthday.
--Chanyeol-ah, wake up. Someone called me softly.
It was Byun Baekhyun.
I was still feeling tired. I fidgeted with my brows knitted and changed my sleep position.
Chanyeol, He was hesitant but he gently nudged me with his finger.
yeah I replied lazily.
Wake up, you have a schedule to attend to soon.
Give me a kiss. Then Ill wake up.
Huh?
The prince woke up when the princess kissed him. I said, with my eyes still closed.
Its the opposite.

No, you remembered wrong. Now I was fully awake, but I didnt want to open my eyes until he
completed my request.
I could hear the smile in his words, Theres no princess, heres just the frog.
I kept still for a moment and then leaped up to grab him into a kiss.
Alright, now youre my princess. I stretched my arms and shouted energetically, Awake!
I was on my way to wash up, but as I passed by the living room someone entered our dorm.
Tae Shin Hyung?
Baekhyun who was standing by the room door paused as well. It felt weird as if we had been caught
in the act.
But that was not the case, it was just myself acting up.
Jong Woohe didnt bring you to the shoot?
Jong Woo was my new assistant that the company had assigned. After weve started promoting
separately, Tae Shin Hyung had been more involved in Kyungsoos schedules while the rest of us
were assigned assistants.
Hell be coming later, I scratched my head, Is Kyungsoo back from Busan yet?
Hes back yesterday but he went over to his parents house.
I thanked Kyungsoo in my heart, what an observant boy.
Then Tae Shin turned to Baekhyun, Baekhyun, follow me.
Huh? Where are we going?
Didnt you see my text? Tae Shin Hyung frowned, Seriously, I called you yesterday but you didnt
pick up, and now youre telling me youve not even read my text?
Ah, my phone was flat He smiled apologetically.
You really Tae Shin Hyung wanted to chide him, Nevermind, since you should be done resting
by now, youre following me to the company today. Remember the OST thing I told you last time?
Its about that. We might need you to finish the recording today.
Huh? Right now? I could tell that Baekhyun did not expect this.
I helped him, Cant he record another day?
Why another day? Tae Shin Hyung looked at us with a puzzled expression, in the end his gaze
landed on Byun Baek Hyun.
You dont feel well again?
No, no, Ill go get ready right now.
Alright, Ill be waiting in the car, Tae Shin Hyung said before leaving.

When I was done washing up, Baekhyun was already dressed and ready to leave.
Are you really fine? I asked him softly as I watched him.
Realising what I was trying to ask, his cheeks instantly flushed.
Yeah, f-fine.
I found his reaction amusing. I pulled him into a hug and lowered my head to kiss him softly.
His response was still a little edgy and tense.
It was as if I had found a How to handle Byun Baekhyun manual. I instantly realised that his
reactions to my gentle treatment as compared to my aggression made me a lot more satisfied and feel
much better.
Im leaving, He gently pushed me away with his eyes lowered.
I nodded, staring at his moist lips.
Do a good job, Im going to be starring in that drama after all.
He smiled, Alright.
--While I was at the film set that evening, I received a call from Luhan Hyung.
So did you eat the cake, He asked slowly.
YeahSome of it.
I thought youd play around and end up smashing it, He said with a small laugh.
When are you coming back? His words and tone made me feel a little uncomfortable, I tried to
change the topic.
Were at the airport, our flights soon what the fuck Oh Sehun, sit properly! There are cameras!
Luhan Hyungs chiding popped up out of nowhere, then I heard Sehun ask Is that Chanyeol Hyung
on the other end?. Afterwards, it was him on the phone with me instead.
Yah, Hyung, He shot me the question, You went to watch a musical with Baekhyun Hyung?
I looked at the phone strangely, Wait whathow did you know?
There were pictures by fans. Hyung dont you ever surf the internet?
-- Dont you ever surf the internet.
Those words sounded familiar, as if Ive heard them somewhere before.
The image suddenly appeared. It was Hayeon in the middle of filming an emotional scene. When the
director shouted action, her tear immediately flowed down. Alongside the impactful script, the
whole scene seemed so real and raw.

I did those things, it was all for you Hayeon cried towards the camera.
I watched her, a little stunned.
On May Sixth, I hurriedly left the theatre with my phone in hand, got in a cab and arrived at a rather
plain looking caf.
At the corner of the place sat Hayeon, she was silent yet with tears streaming down her face.
What happened? I looked around to make sure there were no others and sat down opposite her.
She tried to force a smile yet more tears started to pour out.
Iwas supposed to film a crying scene today, andandno matter what the tears just wouldnt
come out.
I gently stroked her back, And you were scolded by the director?
She nodded.
He was so fucking horriblehe doesnt even care how I would feel, s-scolding me in front of all
those people.
Lets not be upset anymore, okay? Were bound to experience these things, I tried to comfort her.
She burst out crying again, sniffling and coughing as she said, Now I knowknow how difficult it
was for youwere, were you always scolded like that too?
I smiled at her and teased her, Yeah, but I didnt cry as much as you do.
Shut up, youre annoying me, She said, lips forming a purse, looking as if she could start crying
anytime.
Dont cry anymore, I reached out to pinch her nose but she had avoided it swiftly.
Dont touch it, Ive just got them fillers the other day
I paused for a second, Youre already so pretty, you didnt have to.
She shot me a glance, But you couldnt tell the procedure.
Because there wasnt a noticeable change.
She didnt speak for quite a while, only speaking after shes dried her tears.
What have you up too these days, when you arent shooting.
UhI go to the company to practice.
Before you started the shooting too?
Huh?
During then, you couldnt meet be because you were always busy, was it because of practice too?

Was she referring to whenBaekhyun was hospitalised?

Uhyeah. I answered, feeling a little guilty.
She suddenly smiled, Oppa dont you ever surf the internet?
I didnt understand what she meant.
Nothing. She shook her head before turning to face me again.
From now on Ill work hard, Oppa.
Thats great attitude, I stroked her hair with a smile.
I tried so hard to debut, was because I wanted to stand next to you; I wanted to become prettier, more
outstanding, all because of you.
I watched her expression. I was touched, yet somehow I felt guilty.
Thats why, Oppa, you cant let me down, She was trying to sound cute yet I could sense the
seriousness in her expression.
I wont. I answered instinctively, yet I felt my heart become heavier.
--You see, there are so many eyes all around us, our stories would always be presented to the world
through the lenses of other people.
Both of you, I want to hide away from the world.
It is difficult for me now to balance.
--Original Writer:
Translations by: chanbaek-xoxo.tumblr.com
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