25 [Byun Baek Hyun] Foreboding

Ive met Wu Yifan a couple of times again and somehow learnt that he was the one who told had
Chanyeol about my conditions.
I could not stop thinking about how even if the sudden change in his attitude towards me was just
because his pity, Id still be unable to pull myself away. Just the thought of him hating me a little less
was enough to make me happy.
It was the first time I knew, that the tangling of bodies in bed could be pleasurable and painless.
It was the first time I knew, that I could be treated gently by you, that I would even be able to hug you
tight in the act.
-- I quite like you.
Id probably remember those words for the rest of my life.
Just as his kisses and his eyes on me.
His smiling eyes and the soft curve of his lips.
He said to me the word: like.
Thank you.
Do I seem silly? But you were slowly responding bit by bit to my love for you. For this, Im
grateful.
--Park Chanyeols drama premiered. As one of the OST singers, I too, received an invitation to the
press conference for the drama.
The OST was not yet complete, but the demo of the song received a good response from the producer
and directors.
Even Chanyeol complimented me, saying It was pretty good.
You heard it?
Yeah.
I smiled, Thank you.
His drama had received tons of attention even before the airing of its first episode, thus the premiere
was filled with press and fans. I was simply the singer of one of the OSTs, it was not a minor role but
I somehow still got to attend the event along with the male lead.
As we drove to the venue, I watched Park Chanyeol nod his head along with one of those Hip Hops
songs he always listened too.

I figured out that he must be in a good mood. His drama was finally broadcasting and now he could
get some rest.
I see that your drama is doing well already even before the broadcast, Jong Woo commented as he
drove, Tae Shin Hyung said that if this drama did well, wed be looking for new scripts for you.
I was about to get happy for Chanyeol but he looked unimpressed.
I dont like filming, cant I just go back to rapping.
Youre seriously
Quickly find me some music-related job, I need to balance out.
Balance out?
I dont mind being featured. How come Kyungsoos album had no rap parts in any of the songs? I
could help. Chanyeol was whining.
As I sat behind them, I couldnt help but want to laugh.
Back then, Park Chanyeol used to never speak around me, yet now he could talk freely and easily
even with my existence. The dark and shadowy Chanyeol was gone and the pleasant atmosphere was
so beautiful that it felt surreal.
I was thinking about all that has happened recently yet he suddenly turned around, looking at me with
those deep and alluring eyes.
Dont you think so?
His words pulled me out of my thoughts.
Huh?
Im asking you, dont you think that the Rap is always the soul to a song? He asked with much
seriousness, almost making it hard to disagree.
I smiled awkwardly, Uhyeah.
See! He turned around proudly to Jong Woo as if continuing a previous debate that they were
having, even though Jong Woo was now ignoring him.
Alright, When we were arriving Jong Woo had alerted us, and added, Remember during the
interviews with the press, all questions unrelated to work will be declined.
I nodded, while Chanyeol looked down, motionless.
I could tell what Jong Woo was referring to.
Popular boy-group member in drama project along with ex-girlfriend rookie actress. This rumour
had been circulating for some time and thus one of the reasons why this drama is so talked about.
Except Chanyeol never talked to us about it, and I almost forgot that in a whiles time Id be meeting
Lee Hayeon.

But thankfully, Wu Yifan as one of the investors had told me that he would not be attending the event
due to other commitments. Thats one less thing to worry about.
I could only smile bitterly. Seems as though our industry was never so big after all. One project after
another, somehow those with the complicated relationships could still end up working together. Like
us.
--I entered the venue with Park Chanyeol beside me. The flashings of cameras felt foreign to me
suddenly due to my hiatus. I tilted my head to look beside me, the person beside me was smiling
calmly as he waved towards the cameras. The playful Chanyeol rapping as we rode the car was now
transformed into charming man who exuded confidence and pomp.
Somehow, a feeling of proudness bubbled in my heart.
My beloved Chanyeol, no matter how you are, you dazzle.
After we entered the holding hall, Chanyeol along with the other leads sat in centre of the first row
while I sat with the production team behind them. They all seemed like remarkable people. Beside
Chanyeol was the female lead in a fiery red gown and next to her was the supporting male lead, a
rookie actor who had recently gained fame from his previous drama. While Hayeon sat the furthest
away from Chanyeol with those two people in between them.
The event had started with the main producers, talking about directing to the scripts. While my only
interest in the event was Park Chanyeol, I secretly observed every movement of his. When he heard of
the interesting, hed let out a wide grin and hed also nod or clap in agreement occasionally. Elegant
and polite he was.
Park Chanyeol and Lee Hayeon had no interaction with each other throughout the whole event. Even
until the last segment, where the cast received questions from the reporters, the two stood far apart. I
was somehow pulled to the side of the front row and handed a few microphones with the broadcasting
stations logos on them.
The questions commenced. It was the typical questions, How do you feel working with your co-star,
what are your hopes for the broadcast ratings etc. As expected, questions were asked about
Chanyeol and Hayeons rumours yet they were all avoided with not much trouble. Everything was
going smooth.
Just when I thought itd go on that way, a question was suddenly hurled at me.
Can Byun Baekhyun answer this question? We heard that youve been resting all this while because
of health problems. Youre returning work is the OST for the drama, can I know what are your
thoughts?
Uh, I was slightly taken aback by the abruptness of the question, being able to be a part of this
drama by contributing to the OST makes me very glad. The members helped me out a lot. And
uhplease do support the drama as well as the song.
One more question! Another reporter carried on immediately afterwards, Is it true that you are on
good private terms with one of the sponsors of this drama, Mr Wu Yifan?

I paused, shocked to hear Wu Yifans name in the question.

The paparazzi has caught the two of you out and about various times, we would like to know your
response.
Also this time, did you get to sing the OST through the help of Wu Yifan, milking off your close
relationship?
Are you aware of these rumours of your relationship with Mr Wu?
My thoughts were jumbled up as I was reminded of those deals I had had with Wu Yifan. Facing the
sea of flashing lights and microphones, my heart dropped, it almost felt as it all those reporters were
aware of all the dirty between us.
And most importantly, Chanyeol he
I instinctively turned my head to see Chanyeol standing there stilly with a microphone in his hand. He
appeared calm, yet detached.
I am very sorrybut unrelated questions are declined. I had to arrange my emotions and pretend
to be calm.
But could you at least answer if you got the OST opportunity through the help of Wu Yifan!
I opened my mouth, but I did not know what to say.
This was all arranged by the company, Chanyeol suddenly spoke, Please pay attention to the
drama itself instead of these alleged rumours. Thank you.
He was still calm, not sparing one glance at me.
I was excused from the stage and returned to the dressing room.
My stomach contracted vigorously.
I placed my hand over it.
Are you connected to my heart? How come you always match my emotions?
I told them to find a few internal reporters to ask a few questions and write some minutes, but they
insisted on the open questioning! Jong Woo raged, All the bullshit they ask! Hey, Baekhyun, are
you alright?
I nodded. Barely able to hear my own words, I asked, Do you have any warm water
Jong Woo realised the situation, Ill get it right for you!
Once he left, I tried to rub my stomach to ease the pain as I sat down on a sofa.
Soon after I heard the door open.
I thought it was Jong Woo with the warm water, but it was Park Chanyeol.
He was expressionless. With a turn of his hands, he had locked the door.

I stood up, looking at him anxiously.

Hey, Byun Baekhyun.
Chanyeol.
Youve still been meeting with Wu Yifan? He asked me with a frown.
Not often.
Youve met him, even after you left the hospital.
.Yeah.
He suddenly came up towards me.
Then why, didnt you tell me.
I
Was it! He grabbed my shoulders, eyes turning cold and a little scary, Was it when you told me
you were out to see a friend, you met him!
He took my silence as affirmation.
Why did you lie to me?!
Because Id get scolded for the truth. I know I am at fault, I shouldnt have lied to you.
But please.
Please.
Please.
Please.
Please dont look at me like that. Please dont let me see the same old Chanyeol.
Chanyeol, please dont misunderstand, we just met up as friends I tried hard to explain.
Because of the urgency and the anxiety, my stomach felt like it was going to kill me.
Friend? He laughed dryly, Well, I didnt know friends fucked each other!
I did not know how to respond.
He seemed to be compressing his anger. His beautiful eyes no longer held a smile, but the same old
menace.
I am just sofucking disappointed with you.
At last, he gripped my shoulders with large force and let go.
Then he turned and left, not sparing one glance to look back.

I fell back onto the sofa.

Disappointed, with you.
He said.
The pain lasted.
--Even after two days, there were no exchange of words between us.
I felt extremely guilty, but I had no idea how to speak to him, afraid that any wrong word spoken
might cause him more anger.
Moreover, he didnt want to see me, we barely come across each other at all in the day.
Even if we were together in the same location for whatever reason, he would never look at me.
Just when he stepped back and started to change, just when he started to spare me a little happiness
and hope, I had pushed him away with my mistake.
I really fucking hate myself.
At a time like this, I got a phone call from Wu Yifan.
It was another afternoon with myself alone in the dorm. It made me anxious when I saw his name
light up on my handphone screen.
I didnt want to pick up.
But maybe it was time I cut him off.
Hello?
Hello. Ive heard about it, He said yet he did not sound concerned at all, Youre worried right?
I frowned, From those articles they published, of course Id be worried. The pictures taken from the
past all surfaced with the articles, as if the questions took any response as confirmation.
After seeing various reports, one of the reporters questions suddenly made sense: Are you aware of
the various past rumours of Mr Wu Yifan?
I found out the dirty of Wu Yifans private life, there were past reports on his complicated
relationship with men.
I cleared my throat, uncomfortable, Im not like you, boss of whatever you do. Im a controlled
puppet under someone else, Im also a public figure, so yeah Id be worried
Im worried too. My company stocks has been falling due to my image, Despite his words, his tone
sounded light-hearted, I bet what youre worried about is Park Chanyeol isnt it.

I bet youre afraid hell misunderstand.

No Having my feeling revealed instantly made me feel deflated. I had to deny too.
Oh yeah, theres a dinner event tonight, do you want to join me?
Hey, I called out in unhappiness, Given the current situation, shouldnt we be more careful with
our interactions?
I see youve became more courageous, talking to me like that, I could hear him smile, Alright then,
dont come, Lee Hayeon will be there anyway, wont give you a reason to blame me for having to
meet her.
I paused when I heard her name, I warn you, dont do anything to
I know I know, He was getting impatient, How many times have you warned me, but Im no
longer interested in that girl.
About us, He was finally serious, I will think of something and discuss with you then. Dont
worry.
Alright, I looked down. Wu Yifan was a little rude and unreasonable, yet hed always help me when
I needed it, making me almost guilty for disliking him.
Thank you. He said.
Youre welcome, I said before hanging up.
I threw my phone to the side and lay down on the bed, spacing off.
Just when things were getting better.
Maybe I was born with rotten luck.
My brain took no rest as thoughts continued to pop up in it, it was only then when I remembered of
the check up I was supposed to have at the hospital tomorrow.
I gazed at the ceiling emptily, hand placing itself somewhere below my rib.
Please let everything get better.
--Original Writer:
Translations by: chanbaek-xoxo.tumblr.com
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