Living

Realization
A Simple, Plain-English Guide to Non-Duality

Scott Kiloby

Non-Duality Press

living realization

2012, 2013, 2014 The Kiloby Group

2014 Non-Duality Press
Editor: Fiona Robertson
Scott Kiloby has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and
Patents Act, 1988, to be identified as author of this work.
All rights reserved
No part of this book may be reproduced or utilized in any form or
by any means, electronic or mechanical, without prior permission
in writing from the Publisher.
Non-Duality Press | PO Box 2228 | Salisbury | SP2 2GZ
United Kingdom

ISBN: 978-1-908664-46-4
www.non-dualitypress.org

Disclaimer: The Living Realization website and text is for educational

purposes only and is not intended in any way to be a replacement or
a substitute for, qualified medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment, or
as a replacement or substitute for psychological advice, diagnosis or
treatment, or therapy from a fully qualified person. If you think you
are suffering from a medical or psychological condition, consult your
doctor or other appropriately qualified professional person or service
immediately.

CONTENTS
Introduction to Living Realization..................................1
The Main Invitation..................................................4
The Middle Way.......................................................7
Basic Points.............................................................10
Chapter One: Recognizing Awareness..........................12
Chapter Two: Appearances...........................................32
Chapter Three: Thoughts............................................ 46
Chapter Four: Emotions...............................................61
Chapter Five: Sensations.............................................. 69
Chapter Six: States.......................................................81
Chapter Seven: Experiences........................................ 86
Chapter Eight: Oscillation............................................92
Chapter Nine: Inseparability..................................... 100
Chapter Ten: The Unfindable Inquiry........................ 114
Chapter Eleven: The Middle Way...............................133

About Scott Kiloby..................................................... 147

Acknowledgements.......................................................149
Testimonials.................................................................150

INTRODUCTION:

Living Realization

YOU KNOW WHEN you are ready for a message like Living
Realization. You feel it to the very core of your being. Youre
pulled towards it by an unmistakable knowing that there is
something deeper, something more to life than what you currently believe or perceive.
You have come to this message because its words resonate
with you on a level deeper than the mind. There is a peace
within you that you know is present, but that seems somehow
buried under the noise of life, with its personal drama and
constant seeking towards the future. Now, you are ready to
move beyond these self-centered patterns. You are ready to
begin looking into your present experience in a deep and specific way. You are ready to see why it is that you suffer, why
you seek, and why human life contains so much conflict.
Perhaps youve suffered from self-loathing, doubt,
depression, anxiety, addiction, over-thinking, or some other
emotional or psychological issue. Maybe you have always felt
uncomfortable in your own skin. Maybe you have experienced
conflict with others, or painful regret and guilt in relationships.
If you are like most humans, youve experienced yourself as
incomplete or deficient in some way.

For some of us, life has been fine. No real breakdowns. No

intense hardships. We may have experienced some degree of
contentment or even moments of real freedom. Yet even those
of us who have had pretty good lives often carry a subtle,
ongoing, and gnawing sense that an important piece of lifes
puzzle seems somehow just out of reach.
Many of us have searched for lifes answers everywhere
but here and now. We thought the answers were in the future,
so we sought them there. We looked for relief in relationships,
jobs, material success, self-help programs, drugs, alcohol,
meditation, prayer, or belief systems.
In our search for contentment, we may have come across
religions, philosophies, self-improvement programs, or
spiritual teachings that swept us off our feet with beautiful
language and the promise that further down the road, after
many years of work, we might discover the contentment we
are seeking. We may have become diligently and earnestly
involved in these programs, seduced by promises of fabulous
worldly goods or other-worldly spiritual planes.
The treasure here is quite different. It is not a promise of
future fulfillment. It is not an elaborate system designed to
revise our personal stories. It is an invitation to put all that
aside long enough to look deeply into our present experience
and to realize that the wholeness and healing that we seek are
already here. When we make this discovery, we find that love,
peace, compassion, and wisdom are naturally present. The key
is to recognize this treasure. We have just been overlooking it,
searching in all the wrong places.
Living Realization is nothing short of a love affair with
life. It is like falling in love with experiencing itself, and seeing
that our present experience is perfect just as it is, no matter
where we are or what is happening. This does not mean that
we escape pain or challenging situations, like illness or death.
Rather, we see that everything that happensthe good and
the badis equally drenched in freedom. To see perfection in
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every experience, and in everyone and everything, is to realize

that our fundamental nature is experience itself. When we
come to realize that present experiencing is what we are, we
live in a deep and natural acceptance of each moment as it
is. This is freedom in the midst of every single happening in
our lives.
Living Realization is about more than just learning a new
language or employing a new method. Although it is a language and method, it is actually a vehicle designed to reveal
present freedom. This is about a realization that is lived, not
just entertained intellectually. If language alone were enough,
one could walk to the local bookstore, pick up any well-written book on human freedom, and magically experience that
freedom simply by reading or memorizing the words.
Teachings, religions, courses, methods, paths, and practices are merely tools. They are invitations to look into our
own direct experience. If a teaching is not designed to redirect
us back to our own experience, it is a distraction. This is not
about focusing on a method or practice for years with the hope
of a payoff down the road. It is not about memorizing fancy
spiritual words. Rather, the method here is always directing
us to look into our present experience. It is about discovering
that the treasure of liberation is already contained within
what we are.

The Main Invitation

To the best of your ability, put aside everything you have ever
learned or read about freedom or happiness for long enough to
hear this message. Start anew!
Lets get to the crux of the matter, which is a constant
reminder that only you hold the key to realization. No one can
give it to you, not even the clearest path, method, or teaching
in the world.
Let every word you read disappear as soon as youve read
it. Let the words be like breezes that blow through your mind
only long enough to remind you to recognize awareness in
all situations.
The main invitation in Living Realization is this:
Recognize awareness
Let all appearances be as they are
See that appearances are inseparable.
There are many other pointers, tools, and inquiries in this
book, but these simple pointers are really all you need to recognize freedom in the midst of your life.
We must start with something fundamental: basic, everyday awareness. What is awareness? Right now, before you
entertain your story of who you are and before any other
thought arises, there is a basic awake, thought-free awareness
here. Awareness is the basic capacity to be aware. Its as simple
as that. If you try to understand that intellectually, you miss
the simplicity of it. Before you think about it, are you aware
right now? That is awareness.
Stop for one moment and bring your full attention to
this basic awareness. It is what allows the present moment to
effortlessly be as it is. Notice that when you are not thinking,
this basic awareness simply allows, for example, the wall to
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be as it is. It naturally allows a table to be as it is. It naturally

allows the air in the room to be as it is. It takes no effort to let
everything be as it is. Discover this for yourself. Stop thinking
for long enough to get one glimpse of the fact that there is a
basic awareness already here. All you have to do is notice that
it is here. Then notice that when a thought arises, this basic
awareness allows even that thought to be as it is.
At first, this awareness may not seem like a big deal at all.
Perhaps thoughts rush right back in very quickly, one after the
other, and take over your attention. But that one glimpse of
life without thought is actually monumental. It is a doorway
to freedom.
The more we return to this basic awareness, over and over,
throughout the day, the more we see that it is always and
already present. We discover for ourselves exactly what the
words acceptance, freedom, love, peace, compassion, wisdom,
and selflessness are really referring to: our own immediate
experience in the here and now, free of the belief in separation.
The first chapter of this book is devoted to encouraging
you to recognize basic, everyday awareness in your own direct
experience. Please take your time with Chapter One. Read it
through several times, if necessary. Do not try to understand
awareness intellectually. It cannot be grasped by the mind.
Just follow the pointers.
The remaining chapters direct you into the profound realization of inseparability, which is the energetic felt sense that
nothing is separate in your present experience. I devote several
chapters to discussing appearances. Appearances include
thoughts, emotions, sensations, states, and experiences. This
discussion becomes the doorway into the experience of inseparability. The direct experience of the inseparability of life is
the key to acceptance, freedom, love, peace, compassion, wisdom, and selflessness. You begin to experience all appearances
as coming and going inseparably to awareness, rather than to
a personal story of self. In allowing all thoughts to be as they
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are, and recognizing awareness as the basic space to which

thoughts come and go, you rely less and less on thinking. You
rely more and more on simple, basic, everyday awareness. You
come to see through the belief in separation that is embedded
in the thought stream. This releases you from suffering, seeking, and conflict.
I want to be clear about what is meant by the word suffering as it is used in this book. Many people have the idea that
suffering refers to intense physical agony or extreme mental
and emotional depression. This is not how the word suffering is used in this text. To suffer is to be in any way resistant
to life as it is appearing right now. Suffering could be as simple
as not wanting to feel a present emotion or sensation, or even
a minor irritation. Suffering is the non-acceptance of life as it
is in this moment.
If you are having trouble getting all this, dont worry.
This method is designed to help you relax naturally into this
realization. Some may recognize the release from suffering,
seeking, and conflict very quickly. For others, there may be a
more gradual unfolding. But everyone comes to see that this is
a present, lived experience. Welcome to your freedom!

The Middle Way

The Living Realization message is designed to awaken us
from the belief in separation into the present experience of
inseparabilityOneness. This recognition allows us to naturally move and act in the world in a new way, free from the
sense of separation from each other and from all things in life.
However, if we then begin to emphasize viewpoints or beliefs
at the other end of the spectrum, such as nothing exists,
we have gone too far. We have denied conventional existence
completely. The Middle Way is freedom from these dualistic
mental positions of everything exists separately and nothing exists. The Middle Way is the way of balance. It keeps
us from turning Oneness into a belief system that denies
the play of relativity. Relative viewpoints are always in play
when we are thinking, speaking, creating, and responding to
each other in relationship. Yet those viewpoints do not bring
about suffering, seeking, and conflict in our lives when we no
longer identify with them. They wash through our present
experience temporarily, leaving no trace, and no self to take
ownership of them.
Conventional existence just means relativity. In this
method, even as we see through the belief in separation, we
continue to feel completely free to refer to relative things for
the sake of convenience. Although you will no longer energetically experience yourself as separate, you will continue to be
comfortable referring to yourself by your name, taking care of
the practical needs of your body, your health, and your family,
and expressing your unique talents, skills, and knowledge. This
may seem contradictory at first. But it becomes quite natural.
It is only the belief in being a completely separate person that
troubles us. Thoughts about a self and the appearance of having
a body and even a story are no problem at all once there is no
longer a deeply rooted identification with those appearances.

We start to experience a kind of delicious irony in the

Middle Way. We start to see life more and more as a play,
where we know in the deepest sense that the characters and
things in the play are not truly separate, yet we enjoy the
play anyway. Nothing is separate does not mean, Nothing
exists. Life continues appearing with all of its relationships,
experiences, colors, shapes, tastes, smells, and labels, yet
nothing appears inherently separate and cut off from everything else.
How do you discover the Middle Way? It just shows up,
automatically and naturally, when you get involved in this
method. Its like jumping into a boat that feels very natural
and comfortable from the start, even though you dont know
exactly where its going. Taking up the invitations in this book
is like following a map of the river. In recognizing awareness as
ever-present and seeing through separation, you find that you
are living the Middle Way naturally. Living becomes effortless
and the map is not relied upon as much. Direct experience
takes over.
This is how the Living Realization method works in
our lives:
1. We start out with the belief that we are separately
existing selves in a world of other, separately existing
people and things. Most people have this belief operating in one degree or another. The belief in separation is
the root cause of suffering, seeking, and conflict.
2. In this method, we start with a very basic invitation
to recognize awareness in all situations. Awareness is
seen to be always present in the midst of whatever is
happening. This allows us to relax from our tendency
to focus and rely on thinking so much. We find a natural ease and well-being as we recognize awareness.

3. We experience emotions and sensations more and

more without labeling them and placing them into
a personal story. This relieves the constant desire to
escape into the future in order to feel better. Every
emotion and sensation is allowed to be as it is presently. This provides a natural healing, a mental and
emotional balance in our lives.
4. We discover that every object is inseparable from the
thoughts, emotions, and sensations that make it up.
We see that all thoughts, emotions, and sensations
appear and disappear inseparably to awareness. We
use the Unfindable Inquiry to see that we cannot find
a separate thing anywhere. The belief in separation
dissolves, either all at once or gradually.
5. In seeing through the belief in separation, we continue
to refer to things relatively for the sake of convenience.
This is the Middle Way. Conventional existence is the
appearance of different things, like self, other, cars, cities, justice, apples, the Earth, and science. We see that
everything is empty of separate nature and yet things
still appear. In conventional existence, everything is
relationship, but separation is nowhere to be found.

Basic Points
Here are the basic points of the method mapped out in more
detail. The chapters that follow explain these points more fully.
This is the main invitation in this method:
Recognize awareness
Let all appearances be as they are
See that appearances are inseparable.
Awareness is the basic capacity to be aware. It is that to
which all appearances come and go.
Through resting as awareness, in brief moments, repeatedly throughout the day, awareness is recognized to be
ever present, regardless of what appears and disappears.
An appearance is anything that comes and goes temporarily to awareness, including all thoughts, emotions,
sensations, states, and experiences.
Letting all appearances be as they are means letting
each thought, emotion, sensation, state, and experience come and go freely, without trying to analyze,
neutralize, overcome, get rid of, or do anything else
with it.
To say that appearances are inseparable from awareness is to recognize that they never appear outside
awareness. Thoughts, emotions, states, sensations, and
experiences always appear to awareness; they cannot
appear independently of (separate from) awareness.
This becomes more obvious as we recognize awareness
as ever-present.
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 The Middle Way is another name for Living Realization. It is the direct experience that things do not exist
separatelyonly conventionally. To say that a thing
exists conventionally means that it appears only in relation to other things. It cannot exist on its own side,
apart from everything else. The appearance of a thing
is dependent upon thought, emotion, sensation, awareness, and other appearances. The appearances are seen
to be like mirageslike reflections shimmering upon
the surface of water. They appear in their brilliant
uniqueness, but they have no independent nature. This
gives rise to the seeing that all things, being empty of
separate nature, are interdependent in conventional
existence.

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CHAPTER ONE:
Recognizing Awareness

THE MAIN INVITATION is to:

Recognize awareness
Let all appearances be as they are
See that appearances are inseparable.
We start by relaxing into a direct, experiential introduction
to awareness. We recognize awareness as often as possible,
throughout the day, every day, until that recognition is
unshakable and uninterrupted. We recognize awareness
whenever we remember to do so. No matter what we are
doingrelaxing, walking, sitting, working, engaging in physical exercise, or lying in bed at nightwe take a moment to
recognize awareness.
In recognizing awareness in every experience, it dawns on
us that awareness is always and already present, regardless of
what is happening in our lives. This provides a peace and stability that passes all understanding. In seeing that awareness is
ever-present, we realize that awareness is our real identity. This
naturally and effortlessly releases the tendency to identify with
the various appearances (including thoughts, emotions, sensations, states, and experiences) that come and go to awareness.
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