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Sebastian Arroyo
Mr. Newman
English Rhetoric: 101
16 November 2014

Filing against Divorce


Many people believe that family is everything, but what happens when family no
longer wants to be a family anymore? In Beverly Willett's Room for Debate article, Why
Divorce Is a Family Affair, she addresses the problem that many families and relationships
suffer; to file for divorce, or stick it out for the sake of the children and remain together. I believe
that families faced with this problem should stay a family, and set their personal wants aside.
Their lives dont revolve around solely themselves now, they have brought meaningful lives into
this world and it should be their duties as parents to raise them together.
We demand housing, healthcare and education for our children, but deny them
the experience of growing up in one home with both parents (Willett). Marriage is a
commitment not only to your spouse and God, but to your children as well. Nowadays I feel
people dont value a marriage as much as it should be sought, and kids are left to pay the price
from the decisions of their parents. Willett, a non-fiction writer and former attorney says, Every
year one million children lose that protection that, experts agree, marriage affords. Evidence
shows that children from broken homes are more likely to experience poverty, teen pregnancy,
drug and alcohol addiction, depression, reduced educational attainment, decreased longevity and
suicidal thoughts. She goes on to explain that children are even forced out of their homes every
other weekend for our convenience. By separating as parents, children are more prone to falling
into all of negative scenarios. Now granted; Who decides whether a divorce is unnecessary

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writes Vicki Larson, a journalist and writer whose work can be shown on the NY Times as well
as on her own blog; the OMG Chronicles, where she writes heavily on divorce and marriage.
Larson continues to add, Theres nothing me-centered about no-fault divorce laws; lets not
forget that before the laws were enacted, many people and their children were stuck in unhealthy,
dangerous marriages. Larson is opposing Willetts position continuously by adding In fact, a
Stanford study details the real and important impale of no-fault divorce not only are there
fewer female suicides now, but there are also fewer men and women living with domestic
violence, and fewer women being murdered by their partners. A no-fault divorce refers to a type
of divorce in which the spouse that is filing for divorces does not have to prove any reason
against the other spouse. According to many files, the most commonly given reasons are
irreconcilable differences or an irreparable breakdown of the marriage, in which are just
other ways of saying that the husband and wife do not get along and the marriage cannot be
repaired.
As to Larons point in her statements, I as well concede that those statistics show that this
act is a positive thing, but is more centered to parents that are related with domestic violence.
There is no excuse or way to recover from domestic violence within a relationship, and I agree
that a divorce should be sought if the actions do take place. Rosalind Sedacca, divorce and
parenting coach as well as a writer for the Huffington Post states, Happiness, harmony,
cooperation, respect and joy are all absent when parents are emotionally divorced while still
living together. But Willett counters with what could be a solution in many scenarios, A plan
that provides hope and an alternative to families contemplating divorce. Under the Parental
Divorce Reduction Act...parents with children who are still minors must attend marriage
education classes (separately or together)... and take an eight-month time-out to reflect on their

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life-altering decision before they file for divorce. Willett further goes on to inform that this act
is researched based and the process would exclude the input of judges and lawyers. Yet, Zaren
White, a journalist and write for the Washington Post, says that through her experience growing
up with divorced parents as a child showed her realistic expectations about romance,
relationships, and marriage. Thus, Willett is proposing a much more proactive way of
approaching the problem at hand, with getting the whole family to come together as one on the
process, cause yet alone its not just husband and wife in the situation, its a whole family matter.
Larson though, tends to contradict her own views as she states against Willetts
proposition, Your act ignores a fundamental shift in society- single motherhood. Some 40
percent of births today are to women who are unmarried but often cohabiting. Those couples, or
fragile families, are poorer and less educated than married couple says the writer that is against
trying to stabilize marriages. Now granted speaking on the subject of parents that were never
married in the first place, but after the divorce is over; you now have two single parents may not
find it as easy to support themselves and their children as well as many others do. As Willett
replies to Larsons statements, she has her own experience of divorce, I fought to save my
family from divorce. It was the right thing to do.The Parental Divorce Reduction Act provides
exemptions for spouses who are abused or abandoned or married to convicts or
addicts...marriage rates are at an all-time low, while single motherhood and cohabitation rates
have soared. Children who are raised with a single parent are more prone to alcohol & drug
addiction, poverty, and lower academic achievement. Married or not married, we can conclude
from the writers that indeed both parents need to be a part of a childs life as they grow.
Americans are big on choice and safety, but our current laws offer neither when it comes
to victims of divorce. We demand affordable housing, healthcare and education for or children,

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but deny them their true hearts desire of growing up in a single household with both parents
Willetts debate for trying to reach out to familys going under a struggle to be with each other,
should not do it out of spite for the relationship, but for the future of their children. As Beverly
Willett writes With courage and compassion, we can give our most important commitment the
respect it deserves. And in so doing, restore honor to marriage and grant our children their
deepest wish.

Works Cited
Sedacca, Rosalind. "Divorce Or Stay? Parents Must Put Kids First Either Way."
Huffington Post 2 June 2013: n. pag. Huffington Post. Web. 28 Nov. 2014.
<http://www.huffingtonpost.com/rosalind-sedacca/divorce-or-stay-parents-m_b_2967125.html>.

White, Zarenq. "Parents: Dont stay together for the kids. Youre not doing them any
favors." Washington Post 25 Sept. 2014: n. pag. The Washington Post. Web. 27 Nov. 2014.
<http://www.washingtonpost.com/posteverything/wp/2014/09/25/parents-dont-stay-together-forthe-kids-youre-not-doing-them-any-favors/>.

Wilett, Beverly. "When Divorce Is a Family Affair." New York Times [New York City]
13 Feb. 2013: n. pag. The New York Times. Web. 28 Nov. 2014.
<http://www.nytimes.com/roomfordebate/2013/02/13/when-divorce-is-a-family-affair>.

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