WHAT EVERY EUROPEAN COUNTRY IS THE

WORST AT
PUBLISHED ON 11/10/2014
BY KATE PEREGRINA

The European Union has 28 member countries. And kinda like Captain Planet, when
their powers combine, they make for a pretty great place to live.
But that doesn't mean each country is without its flaws. It's like the Planeteer who
controlled the element of Heart. Sure, he helped make Captain Planet. But he was
the worst at getting haircuts.
Anyway, here's what every European country is the worst at.

Austria: Most youth smokers

For whatever reason, young Austrian people seem to think smoking is still cool, so they're
sucking down cigarettes. A LOT of cigarettes. Every day, 29.4% of Austrians age 15-24
inhale coffin nails.

Belgium: Worst traffic congestion

In the time it takes to drive through a Belgian city, you could probably eat a dozen waffles. In
fact, the two most traffic-congested cities in the world, Brussels and Antwerp, are both in
Belgium. You thought Houston and Atlanta were bad -- now try navigating all that in Dutch
and French.

Bulgaria: Least freedom of the press

According to Reporters without Borders, Bulgaria has the least freedom of the press in the
European Union, and it ranked 87th on a list of 179 countries in the world. We'd badmouth
Bulgaria more, but nobody there is probably reading this anyway.
The country with the most freedom of the press in the world? Finland, of course.

Croatia: Least Erasmus participation

Since 2000, Croatia has had the least participation in the Erasmus, Europes university
exchange program, compared to its total population. The country is the most recent addition
to the European Union, having officially joined in July 2013. Its also really easy to spot on a
map because its shaped like the first letter in its name (a big C), which is way cooler than
the Italian boot shape. Italy should be named Bootaly. That'd be way better.

Cyprus: Fewest 18-year-olds in school

What are 18 year olds in Cyprus doing? Well, not smoking as many cigarettes as their
Austrian peers, or being killed by cars while cycling like the Dutch. But they're definitely not
going to school as much, either. But if you were surrounded by that Mediterranean climate,
you probably wouldn't want to be in school, either.

Czech Republic: Worst modern slavery haven

The movie Taken should have taken place in the Czech Republic, end of story.

Denmark: Fewest Zaras per capita

Life in Denmark is pretty great. But there are only two Zara stores in the entire
country. God forbid you'd have to shop somewhere else. But really, if you're after
reasonably priced Spanish clothes, youre going to have to fight for them against
other Danes -- in fact, you'll have to fight with about 2.8 million other Danes per
store. That's a lot of Danes.

Estonia: Biggest gender pay gap

In Estonia, women make 27.3% less than their male counterparts. Even in a place thought of
as being really macho, like Italy, the difference is only 5.8%. Womens wages in Estonia are
more unfair than the rules of Monopoly.

Finland: Highest depression rate

Finland is really good at a lot of things--like that "whole freedom of the press" deal. But
depression is pretty prevalent; if you were that far north, you'd probably get depressed by all
the cold weather, too. Fortunately, Finland's suicide rate is no where near Lithuanias.

France: Lowest English proficiency

To no ones surprise, France has Europes lowest English proficiency. Somewhere, a guy
eating soft cheese and a baguette is saying, "I don't care" in French.

Germany: Lowest homeownership rate

Germans aren't particularly interested in owning their own homes... probably because they
already own most of Spain and Greece.

Greece: Highest foreign debt

This one just edged out "Country with hairiest arms". As of the end of 2013, Greeces foreign
debt was 130.3% of its GDP. Translation: that's really bad.

Hungary: Highest VAT (value added tax)

Hungary has the highest value added tax, with the standard rate a whopping 27%. So if
youre Hungary (get it?) for the government to take a high percentage of the money you
spend on consumer goods, this should be your new home.

Ireland: Highest rate of cystic fibrosis

Ireland has the highest rate of cystic fibrosis, at a rate of 1 case per 1,800 births. You
can't really joke about something like that.

Italy: Most tax evasion

Is it any coincidence that Al Capone was finally pinched for tax evasion, while the birthplace
of the mob has the highest percentage of unreported economic activity of any European
Union country? Probably not; the mob and tax evasion go hand in hand. Its estimated that
$239 billion USD are lost in unpaid Italian taxes per year. That's billion, with a B.
Think of how many spicy meatballs that could buy.

Latvia: Highest percentage of prisoners

Latvia has the highest percentage of its population in prison, with 305 per 100,000
inhabitants locked up. And yet, despite that mind-boggling figure, its only half of the rate in
the United States, which sits at 716 per 100,000.

Lithuania: Highest suicide rate

Lithuanias suicide rate is so high, its nearly ten times higher than Greeces. WTF is going
on in Lithuania?

Luxembourg: Lowest education spending

In 2007 Luxembourg spent only 3.15% of its GDP to fund public education. Presumably, the
rest of its GDP was spent adding more vowels to the countrys name.

Malta: Hardest country to open a business

On a list of 189 countries compiled by the World Bank, Malta ranked no. 161 on ease of
starting a business. It even outranked other countries notorious for disorganization like
China, the West Bank, and Spain. Two words, Malta: banana stand.

Netherlands: Highest percentage of cyclists

killed in road accidents
Its really hard to find anything wrong with the Netherlands. Well, except Arjen Robben.
Despite the stereotypes, though, the Dutch are far from the highest consumers of marijuana
(that would be Denmark). But on the off chance you get into a car accident in any EU
country, the odds of killing a cyclist are highest in the Netherlands.

Poland: Fewest doctors per capita

You have a lower chance of bumping into a doctor in Poland than of being able to
pronounce his name correctly.

Portugal: Lowest crude birth rate

Portugal has just 7.9 births per 1,000 inhabitants. Thats almost half of Irelands 15.0 births
per 1,000 inhabitants. So basically, 21st century Europe is going to be populated by a lot of
Irish people and not very many Portuguese people.

Romania: Fewest cinemas per capita

Romania has only 3.8 cinemas per million inhabitants. Can you imagine what that looked like
on the day Guardians of the Galaxy came out? Lines must have been hundreds of
thousands of people deep, and still nobody wanted to sit in the front row.

On the other end of the spectrum, the Czech Republic has the most cinemas per capita, with
49.2 cinemas per million inhabitants, presumably because they are being built and operated
on slave labor.

Slovakia: Lowest voter turnout

Who votes in Slovakia? Almost nobody. Actually, it's 13.05% of the population, but that's a
pathetically low turnout. Voter turnout was the highest in Belgium, with 89.64% of the
population showing up to vote. Those people should vote to have less traffic.

Slovenia: Most alcoholism deaths

Slovenia, you really need to learn about moderation.

Spain: Highest dropout rate

For any Spaniard reading this, a dropout rate is the percentage of students who do not
complete schooling. In Spains case, 23.5% of students in the country do not complete
mandatory education. So basically, 23.5% of Spaniards looking at this article have no idea
we're talking about them right now.

Sweden: Fewest hospital beds per capita

Maybe Sweden has fewer sick people than other countries. Or maybe Swedish hospitals
prefer patients bring their own sleeping bags. It's like camping for sick and injured people!

UK: Highest cocaine usage

Here are three other drugs the United Kingdom uses more of than any other country
in the EU: amphetamines, ecstasy, and LSD.