f ssuc #, Onc Dofl ar

-N0A

Co,rnin Fo"ewo*d.
*'t u390t^l $H z
tt's hord to believe thot ofter so long, A Show Of Honds zine is finolly
Y
in your honds ond out of my heod, where it's been festering qwoy
la
Jd
relentlessly [or o mighty long time. I first got the bug to do o zine
when my fomily moved to Columbus, Ohio, in the summer of t
p9t. tt
wo5myfriendsMottondBrqd,HeotherondSteph,JoeondAndy,_
ond o smoll, homemode photocopy publicotion colled Rotten Ffuitrhot feCJgt
gove me my first toste of the little-known world of fonzines. Like
zines, it wos written becouse evelfone putting it out hod something
tr ro soy. They hod thoughts ond ideos thot they wonted to shore with ] ll
r
U NAS >r oiher people. For them it wos o woy to express yourself thot could
reoch hundreds of people who hod similor ideos, ond some thot it-TE
C rr
didn't. lwos eighteen yeors otd ond lwos truly, modly, deeply, fully
A- S+
ilry";Q-!
7 ond totolly coptivoted. _ t,{€ i
t- relgl*l
I wonted to do this zine becouse there will olwoys be owesome
1f,",:27,,%r
.-
J ideos forged in people's heods. Everyone hos opinions obout the
ll)
pc
r' things thot ore going on in their lives. Everyone thinks obout stuff thot
\ ffi
1^l
F
d
\s r+
F
.,
offects them. Everyone wonders whot living is like for other people. OTTVI
\ '(, Everyone even hos mirocle sporks of pure creotivity evel/ now ond
ta then. I om definitely not some totolly greot writer, I om not o
#31
t{ eveqr time something mokes me think Wow or Domnit, I find myself
.HJ
--<(r
s
*\ writing it down, putting into words whot I thought ond how I felt. l-l
Itd]
t! I love reoding ofher people's zines becouse it's like listening to them
tolk obout something thot's importont to them, or reoding o letter thot ,\A L)
l;L
,Y\ N r-.,;t F
come from someone's heort. I guess it's just one woy of deoting with --:- lr
ti;t
I

situotions. lt's sort of like getting to know whot's in other people's

heods, becouse I olreody know whot's in mine (y"p, sowdust, you T I
guessed it.)
(

Ufb=*j
id tl0NVtN0u0l
" .-r
 I meon, I don't wont to corqy on like o totql lets-oll-get-in-touch-with-
our-inner-child domn hippy, but here it is: being possionote obout
something, obout ideos ond oll thot, is whot mokes life interesting ond
worth going on with. Discovering things ond thinking obout them,
using your energies to come up with cool ideos thot con become
cool reolities, tqying new things, oll thot stuff. lt's whot mokes life
good.
:a4r7,l
wti4*
ffi,r
And to be honest, I'm sick of people soying there's nothing to do.
Becouse you've got o broin ond you've got ideos, ond if it reolly
bothers you thot the sort o[ ploce you wont to hong out ol doesn't
exist, then get together with people ond tolk obout whot con be
done. See who knows who ond where you could get possible
funding. lf your big whine is thot there's no good live music here,
form o bond for pete's soke! I know people who hove got off their E

lozy osses ond formed bonds (one of which hos become huge ond
--
done it independently), record shops ond moil order record
|flt distributors, storted their own record lobels, opened clothing shops,
produced zines or written for them, ond orgonized ond stoged music
+1 shows ond porties. I soy people don't tolk enough ond oren't friendly i

enough. So moybe doing o zine is o siep in the right direction.

At the leost, it's something I love doing ond it keeps me hoppy.
r! lf something's on your mind, stop mumbling into your beer ot the pub
ond do something. Write obout it. Get it out. lt's so much eosier to
*if whinge, but oll bitch ond no oction gets nothing done ond WE ALL
i GET BORED. We'll olt be forry yeors old in the some pub blubbing I
obout 'no good ploces to go'. Yuck. I could screom'

And I guess the other thing thot mode me wqnt to do o fonzine is

thot leorning obout people ond getting to know people is such o
greot thing. Friendship iust rules. lf you feel the some woy then
hurqy up ond write olreody!
 :fET{qlFq-4!F -E;1
qh--+ -*,\-oAJ3i
€l.rir4r-i?rlh-
SrrnFitiY="+:ti-6
'.' n::3 { r:
I:: f
=
Thinking ond being ond doing ond tqying ore owesome. lf you've gor
something you wont to soy then you're welcome to do it here. No
personol slog-offs, sexist, rocist or homophobic ottitudes will ever
moke it to print unless they're so pothetic they con be used for o
god lough or o bod exomple. I think thot's only foir, no? you'll
probobly only see A show of Honds every two months or so
becouse I work, so I devote my spore time to dq couse. But with
ony luck there'll be mony more issues lo come.

Probobly by now you've noticed thot I con go on o bit obout things,

but it's the woy I om when things ore importont to me, I guess!
Communicotion of ideos ond thoughts is just so domn cool. lt's been
o yeor ond ten months coming, but finolly A Show Of Honds hos seen
rhe llght of doy.

Forever More!

,lwhclE
-4 Sho o oF ltsnds
staff crle.bnste
1t,re" c.,mptetion of
Isaue #t.

Write me! How mony times hove

I told vou People to write?
i t*""?l; b.d you iust don't listen to me!
Go to your room!

A Show Of Honds zine

P.O. Box 37 6
STEPNEY SA 5069
 F"rJl'lbft
I guess we oll believe, especiolly when we're young, thot we ore
immortol. I con'f even comprehend whot it would be like to finish my
life before it's even fully begun.

During l99l ond 1992, when my fomily wos living in Americo, one of
the first friends my sister ond I mode wos o guy colled Mott
Prenoveou. Mott lived less thon five minutes' wolk from us, ond
pretty soon we hod storted going to school in the mornings with him.
Over time, Mott become one of our closest ond deorest friends. He
hod this omozing lough thot both of us remember cleorly; it wos reolly
infectious, ond every time Mott loughed you ended up loughing too,
even if you didn't know whot wos crocking him up. He wos one of
those guys thot hove o subtle but hilorious sense of humour. ln group
photos he used to do funny little things thot you wouldn't notice when
you were toking the picture, but when you were exomining them
ofter they got developed, you'd notice thot Mott would hove o
wocky expression or be holding his crotch. He mode me lough so
much.

He wos owesome becouse he reolly thought obout things thot were

going on oround him. lf something wos bugging him, Mott looked ot
whot could be done rother thon hoving o mindless whinge. He wos
truly tolented os o writer, ond he wos reolly strong when it come to
knowing whot he wonted. Rochel ond me hove o big lough
remembering how his fother mode him cut his hoir for his senior
pictures, literolly drogging Mott to the hoirdresser to get on oll-
Americon slrort bock ond sides. As soon os he wos oble to, Mott
got hold of o set of clippers ond shoved the whole lot off.
I respected Moil o lot for being o potient ond coring person, when
it's oll too eosy not to give o domn. He might not hove soid so, but
he wos pretty sensitive towords other people's feelings. He wos o
gentle person but never ever weok. When we were strongers in
Americo he wos more thon willing to toke us ploces ond introduce us
to some of the best people I've met in my entire life. He wos the first
person to get me inlo punk rock ond show me 'underground' culfure.
Without Mott's friendship I would probobly be o differenr person
todoy.

But Mott's biggest impoct on my life wos

oll the excellenr sruff he did
os co-editor of o fonzine colled Roffen Fruit.
Before I met him, I
never knew whot o fonzine wos. After helping ,zine,
out on the r
wos obsolutely hooked ond determined to ger-one
out of my own
once I come home ogoin. Mott wos coot
becouse he believed thot
if you've got ideos ond thoughts thot ore importont
to you, you should
do whotever you con to o(press them. Moking
o fonzine is one of
the most perfect, punk ond owesome
woys to get your thoughts out
of your heod ond inro the worrd. r con n"r".
ilonk Moff fo,.
showing me oll the possibiliries thot loy oheod "nJrgh
of me, ond for inspiring
me to go out ond do it.

:tfF*ry;.;';
Whot reolly stings the most is thot when Mott died, he wos only 19
yeors old. He possed owoy from complicotions due to concer on
Mondoy Jonuory 31, 1994. He died less thon o yeor ofrer finding
out he hod it. t con't help but think thot he wos too young to hove
concer, ond certoinly too young to die. lt's so unfoir. This guy with
so much promise ond so much fire, ond now he's gone. I wish he
wos oround so thot I could tell him oll this stuff to his foce, insteod of
sitting here writing it, ond thinking moybe he'll never know how much I
opprecioted his friendship, how much it meont.

Hey Moff, wherever you

ore, thonk youl I love you olwoys.
 I-ova' Yu Fricnds

Bock in those crusty old doys when I wos iust o young nipper, hoving o
best friend wos one of the most importont things in the world. Eveqyone
I knew hod o best friend ... eYen those kids who hung sullenly on the
outskirts of the quodrongle ot lunch time hod onother outcost buddy with
whom to squosh onts. I never hod one best friend with whom I grew up
... octuolly, lwent through severol, depending on whot grode I wos in
ond how much my lost friend hod chonged (or how much I hod chonged
too). lt didn't reolly motter much, becouse there wos olwoys someone
else's homework to copy, ond someone to ride home from school with'
Being oport from them, sometimes you even missed them, ond you spent
hours on the phone loughing obout the boys in your closs ond the
teochers you hoted until your mother wos threotening to hong up for
'=+t,]
'
g1tF.rii!:!+rl
'i::l
you.

And then, oll of o sudden, in obout Yeor I O or something, hoving o best

girlie friend wos not os importont os hoving o boyfriend. My, how our
priorities chonge. All of o sudden, I sow girls who were once the closest
of friends treoding eoch other down in the rush to win the offections of o
certoin boy before SHE did. He likes me better thon you. You con't
sleep over my house this Soturdoy night becouse l'm going out with
,Aoron insteod. Where once upon o time you were consoling her when
someone rubbed chewy in her hoir, now you're secretly not so
disoppointed when she hos o bod hoir doy becouse moybe now he'll
, look ot you. Mony of the girls I knew sort of went solo, close friendships
drifted oport, ond eveqyone storted getting serious obout o guy insteod
of honging out with friends.
 BESTFRIEND ff:'Td*.H*tri::il:" ITil=AGrOWd
rnr
1ROUBIE t rr-:-J
rhird --)^ spent
They amal
'JLav
srode. I
J I Mv uest rrienrr ,,,a my boyfrtend
-^r
I don'l- when fHJillllil'l,
lty ber lr seems like most of the guys I knew were smort, becouse even
hove f, , ,
serious relotionship going on with o girl, they still ffe alwavs go
o row I they hod some kind of
wostrr modesuretholheirfriendsweren'tleftoutinthecold. Theystillspent TJHgt:::
friends os with their tes that I
[:r:fri neorly, if nor completely, os much time with their o bit quicbi to l* relr conver-
onyfhi oirlfriend.
u"-- .- Girls, on the other hond, ore sometimes "
tolkin
r[a;k; friendship go if they hove o serious mon. With some girls, tt"y**t HlJl'i?#'
-,tl
<

is to spendJi-. with their boyfriends, os much os

possible, ond when I to sav anv-
ry wrrr the friends, nine times out of
tlr" with
*iih Tlme ten um against
9-
r-,_ l- conflicts wlln
with the guy contllcTs
time witlt
-ggt:
tEI f il" ;:;r;;",r'.," go t f fl.ift
friends seem ro be the ones who bite the dust. Not
rhe ru"a;
thot they go
thotthev
E3p f
I SE+ l^.^^ tinhi
without n
do*n ,^,i+L^,,+ Dollv mogozine,
o lisht ... Dolly hove
mooozine, I remember, used to hove
ii +tiil
g
+e
B heops of oriicles oboui how to deol with
lour
t'
best friend dumpine You,
a ii i +j
fIlgi;'{,
gH
-.q
for cooler friends, more ohen for o guy.
i'€ *retines o -rbolu, 17, ond Joonne

EiIrlll*li *s*#tnili*ffifffi*
€ E FIi t1ook o big breok-up severol yeors ogo lor me to reolise
thot you reolly
d Joonne
l;'"?f"t*
H f iI i ::Jr.1#"-jHt"ff,ff l#T,*"ili"ffiffl:tiJ:lJ:,':;f.ff$;hove some good
rentollour
H : E $ i "ra I derp"rorely wonred ro forget obout it oll ond
E ! I S E ;;:s wirh rhose otd pols I knew ond loved. And eoch of them soid i:T":

sei
E*I-i g,
:Hlff ;]: H" ;"r;if;:;[TlT:,;:t;,":n.",,o fli,l.}#
misery ond I hod sworn to never cut off my friends becouse
there wos retimes
cgreotthot
I

ITIIE: mon in my life ogoin. At the very leost, when the chips
ore down ,fov i
,.'.'1, n"r sorely. Bur more importontly thon thot, by
leoving out vour
iEiEE
i Ei €I ffir$; il1 ;: ffi ;;;;J,o," rimes you'n be
they're out
lf thls year,
rhere'Jr'ffi,f::' sittins
anv
lEI if *itt.' you,, mon wotching A Fish Colled Wondo, while 'm
'*:'r'"";'i.
on1
liptf ,.rr.;rn omok or 4.00 om, steoling people,s gorden gnomes
-rs>-
rideoirig the whole event. And o week or so loter, when you
get oround r the last --,
:"::.---
you'll heor the whole hilorious story recounted
t'$Y $'ffilEt n the sam€
My boyfrie, to colling them up, r they feel
well, but n second hond. -.---- n.,' aoour our friendshlp

ffiil"i,,llin! to n,i L,i ,i;;. ft*dhuhdlPlllh "jl::li:lhcontusing!. Doyouthink

-#
51,ff ;fi T:'*' T i:""i ",L grouing rp^rtf frottt :il i:i$'";iT;iil,'f,'3"1llq'-r'"0'
want'o''
Hfi::,i[;:::J#::'t rour bo0l lftmd'
 8usf.d.l
work os o greenkeeper
f
/ lobourer ot o golf ronge ,.,*ffi
p*i o bil ,tiniins
ffii]l,:"::ff"*::::::"d fi;
fo*
bong in the middte of suburbio
;;b;l'il:;T',ilt;:t"
wosrerond srop

guys who own if only

core obout
nose piercing ond they
moking money, i."" n* o^/oy with my
don't give o fu.k obor,,rr"
weor, so thof,s cooll or"t rock t_shirts thot r

Other golbrs thot go there trr proctice kindo get shocked v"fien they see me,
1 they think l'm some kind of freok ond they sometimes oim ot me when l,m
{ ., . .
,^,^-Lz^^ ^..r on
working out the *--^
^- J^^ ronge, L-.r r ^t- -r, r r r

* + but I don't core, becouse it lust mokes me hote golf

ond the cellulor-one-phone-yuppie-Peugeot-driving-rich-kid-ossholes hot
hcnre on obsession with the oforemeniioned diseose!
h
F.'q
Any*oy, the other doy I wos wolking b the bus stop ofter I clocked off, it s o
reolly long wolk, obout fifteen minutes, through o stinking sewer droin morsh.
The bus slop is like the terminus, so buses usuolly stop fhere ond woit o bw
minutes before they strrt their ioumey into the city centre. I looked ot my
wohh, ond I hod ten minules to woit before tl'ua bus left, so I decided to woit
on the bus.

I frrpp"d on the door, ond the bus driver (unho wos nowhere in sight) quickly
ir*p*d up out of o seot ond strrrted pulling his ponts up. He fumbled with his
belt ond iurp"d into the drivers seot. He opened the door ond nervously
wotched os I bmrded the bus, os lwolked up the oisle, I spied o Picture
mogozine (Austrolion mole T &A publicotion, yown) lying open lo the cover
girls' double poge spreod! As I took my seot, the driver lunged out ond
grobbed the mogozine ond shoved it into his bog. He looked ot me
nervously in the reor vision mirror, his foce wos redl Poor guy, I must hqve

cought him squeezing the solomi or moybe ierking the-gherkin? I don't

know, but lthought ii*o, reolly fu"";;;"itt"iryq
a
L l*t*L' rt"n o n
l le3c {i v ig
Here it is: Why the fuck do some kids stogedive feet first? I believe
there's o technique coll it style or form or whotever, but my point is
-
this: I go to o show to enioy myself not to get kicked in the fucking
-
heod!

\R
And don't give me thot "lt You Con't Toke The Pit Get Out" shit. Thot,s €
bullshit, becouse I con toke the pii. Whot I refuse to toke is the fucking
oeriol ossoult.
I reolly don't wont to get to the poinf o[ porting like the Red Seo when o i

kid stogedives. I wont to be fhere to cotch them. Sort of o poyment for i

oll the times someone houled my sorry oss up off of the floor.

HtrfF*$
Butyou con believe ihoi if I see some punk oss sucko witlr size I 3 steel-
toed shit kickers on, iumping oFl olo speoker leet first, they'll be londing
on their own.
n' *\s r

Be considerote' I try to be'

c._"r*-""4<g/ffigE{ffi
Helyn of Who's Moking You Do Thi' Zine tells ii like it isl :

FILTERED TO
AVIATION
STAN DARDS
RIGHT WHERE
IT'S MOST
I M PORTANT !
 beabcr 3o'h btu

People give me sceptic looks when r tell them

thot r wos in love in grode
school. Not puppy love, but o strong devoted feeling.
His nome wos
chod Dollison ond he moved into my neighbourhood the
summer before
second grode.

Three Rivers wos the normol suburbon troct house

fungle. All of the
younger inhobitonts of the time went to Groveport Elementory,
ond in
Mrs Reynolds closs on the second floor wos where we met. r remember s
instont ottroction with on olmost sexuol undertone. .+'
we were rivols in 'F'$
closs, he being the 'smortest' of the boys, ond I of the girls.
Test morks

il
L,'q
were lorded over one onother ond held os morks of distinction.
rivolry ond my fervent obsession losted for yeors.
This $u
:'F
:$:

At slumber porties, in pocks, we would

coll him ond ploy the guess-who-
likes-you gome. sometimes r find it impossibre
to berieve thot he wos
unowore o[ my olmost seven yeor devotion.
I remember, in sixth grode,

proying he'd understond the unspok"n ' oi*"

"t
*Lru,
r"rrog". r or*oy,
Yes, wont. I dreomed sexuol encounterr,
**;;;,n.
irogining with lust the
contours of his ten yeor old body.

;*,.=-***$i.="s,*'.
chod, over the yeors, went out with oll three of my best friends. r don,t
think I ever quite forgove ihem for thot, os they knew how I felt
obout
him. Toriured in bed oi night, l'd preiend thor he did it oll to moke me
ieolous. We were teosing friends, ond every once in o while he would
focus his ottentions on me, long enough to moke me hope,
but stop iust
shod' I hove bitter letiers to him never sent, forlorn little pillows *ith hi,
nome embroidered. The one piece o[ memorobilio thot stings me the
most is o poge ripped out of my sixth grode diory. Here,s o copy:

To Myself,
I hereby declore ihof when I om old enough to octuolly do something
obout the woy I feel obout chod Dollison, r will. r promise thoi r will I

hove him before l'm lwenty. i

Heother Morie Cudis

Here I om, sixteen. Hoppily entwined in o relotionship with Brod thot

mokes me ecstoticolly hoppy. Every once in o while, though, I feel o
pong of guilt, os if my lovelorn childhood self scolds me for never hoving
mode the ottempt to fulfil her wish. I reolise ihot the boy I remember is

no longer. On o whim, I colled him o while ogo, to discover o rodicolly

different person, someone I don't kno*. l'm glod, I suppose, thot I never
did onything. Moybe the illusions ond memories ore better if left olone,
unbroken. Moybe it would hove been eosier to hove hod them shottered
ond never worlf obout whot might hove been. Moybe l'm o romontic
idiot, who ploces her memories in fromes on the woll to glonce over ond
reflect on every now ond then. I enioy them. Hoppy l Tth Chod. l'll be
thinking of you.
 T[et fvil F tr/..{
up in conversotion?
Why is it ihot people still squirm v"hen hminism comes
sociol issue, people still feel
Decodes offer it become recognized os o relevont
o bit weid obout the F word.

tsds
Wcry woy bock in my finolyeor
of high school, I begon reoding feminist
Lbr" I knew it, i*o, hooked. Not on mon-hoting, not
fuir1, regulorly, ond
chorged holf of humonity rolher'
on pinning the blome on he testcslerone -
myself, stond up for myself' ond to
lwos leoming obout how to trrke core of
know ond demond mY rights'

Friends of mine osked, now lwos interested in bminism, wos I going trc shcnre

my heod too? Bum my bro? Become o slereotypicolly ongry, {k"y, mon-

hoting unbminine womon oll too prepored fio hqve o good bitch obout the
orils of potriorchol society?
b
I

J.*==Sd
lv1on, thot reolly pisses me. I $Meor l've hod this conversotion o million times

before (mcybe in onoiher life even?) Most recentty with o

gq'vfro hod thot
Feminism = Monhoter concept so flrmly wdged in his heod
thot no omount
He'd seen
of mild yet logicol reosoning could moke him see ony otherwqy'
ond t al
'screoming femmos'of Uni 'iumping up ond down on their soopboxes',
thot wos oll it took br him to write feminism off' ,i
r$
m'!
i
 t--.;;'{r-,ti5,,t5{.1$,
. ," \ I.jl\^<,: " _
t"t.,,t -TffilT;,J;r;un.h __^
t'::?:::':hffiJ'H; r[-i^^ ti+i,'=.E+y
inuses
Xt]t
rr,s tike these rhor mokevounser
oiburchwomen hwins whot ffi
o PMT spew'

;t geryoursell through life ond

step over lhe
ffr. mising out on is how rrc
*":1"^::::::::; e$ffi
'.f,'ffi
l ','44.,, #ffiff;nffiffi;;l.""ondopprecioreyourb"d,/ondits
poriroles tlnt sonretimes block vour
wqv
til:il
ffi
.-'/s\i-H'fffff*t'tffihi.j*
,' ..--*'',,ir 1.

"T:li:":::::1il iffiil.,' i#T*i

|...:1i5{l..workingswhenyousometimesleelyoudon,tmeosureuptobeingon
lt's becous"
''llast:,xlC .,.€sorr€ mogozine nJau"' con do lor yourself' tvlost
of t
*f't"t*'
.:i-.g.ifrl. but quit yer bitching ilou,"
,4.4;1t.'-.*)l;i' here's
*, you've got
: ,,.-.).ii{1'4..:-- moking lhe most of whot
o'
;:-:.r.i:ur,iii:t it,s obout embrocingl.r""ff :.9ill: v" 'v' moke your decisions
:'
+.,l,lr*li*ll
[i,.{it*.lj**5) i[ t
,. yourr"lf.
ond moking o cool lite tor
r \r,, lettint
yourserr. Not 'is"" '|.,
others
.ffi$
rf.*ii
r,:i;i1ol-":{*.i..*+-.rj
*':++fl,tr.i:+.;t+',f
"-r:'1-" -
- .r r 't-.',
--uJ^:.oh,ffncin<tinctiveon^Mcl/, ,'.:it':{'}=-1..,
,*t;,

,.1,$l,}i+j;#
tt,
"tt:'':.,'};.''.
'i "
^. . reolhy
you -^^ look
-^^lk, ,-urr
con l-k
orrt for yourself'
rvvrr out vourself. **;ff
,*i{r,:-...,'
, ou l'Llll/
''i.1,'''-.:'.
+;ir{.,r:.,';i';;r.ri.i,a.: y()ulEvlt/vvrrrvvr---
'-i:r.:r
.,..r.i,..."....1,:..,\.'.
,' il t\o. ..... -. i : ..
1 -\. ,.. .\il.ii.',...5.*':r;..{+}j;.,i
.-irl .,/r,.:1.::'.1r,;/:i\.'"':::
"'-ti,_-.t
'4' ';'";nli"
..,.;;:..-.rl7t. some peopre, feminism is still (unbelievobly) something to be
b"
;riiii;c;4gg But for .
never get
$fi$
i..i* iffi ]ruorrorr"a obour. somerimes people moke girls think thot they'll like {Si$*J
thot feminists don't
itli*;S, ....)i. J
t r+riend if they
tum feminisr, ond let guys believe
. #ffi of civilizotion' some
,.:::::- r*.,]:rr_--i..
" they're ouno debunk the mole portion
I#1',-1..,ffi
l\;.f{+l;;;,.5'f,r
*n - ony*oy #ffi y"Y
rtrliii:i.:n#.ilii. p*pl tdi"* '*i'T:;-^
:t:ln effect, *"/t:,^ ffi$itj
thot if you ore feminist, it olso meons

[ffi.^'.'.,J" *"* ro soy thot they oren't womonly?

rights' So' feminism gets
ffi
own personol
hoo emborrossed to stond up for their
movement hr q bw bod iokes' ond let ffi
o bod rep, people minimise on entire iffi4
sort out the rest'
the Equol Opportunity Commission
;ffiffi
It is
w,onfrful''*::'::*:jfilJ::t:#''
o proven foct iho*he most spol' ffi forthe top
'l"lirul;il;;r,i", rorherthon p"opre competins
*oa::m:';::ilT*il ln ihe ffi*
t-\'/'.-'
i rvlen ore no more,up",io'tt.n
$ffi
.
.f .
'|ii"
'--* i, i' *'
m,i:':ffi;il;'h;""ond*o'"nhovestrensthsond
,$

;:";{
t*,$ *.okn-"::
::j#*i****j'"',:nilffi*:
;ffi';:#;;IJj"I*r.*., l*ng'h,'ond suppo*ed the T,.l,T"
other in ffi
i*4j;:,";r
/i1.\i:;ftI'
.' / ,1"#7
r.Y /.,.''
r r"crkness!
weokness! ri;i.,),t;?r'-ilil1P1
'#s.fr*$t
€q:
A womon is often meosured
by the things she connet
conirol. $hejs meosured by
.the woy her h,ody,curves or
doesn't curve, bv where she is
flot or stroiqKt or round.
She is meosurEd bv 36-24-36
ond inches ond'oqes ond
numbers. bv oll th; outside
thinos thoi dbn't ever odd up
to riho she is on the inside.
And so if o womon is to be
meosured, let her be
meosured bv'the thinqs she
con controll bv who ihe is
. ond who she'is trying to
become. Becouse os every
womon knows, meosurements
ore onlv'stotistics.
ANd STATISIICS LIE.
 \:r-
\

fcfrqfr*rTcd Wcl.sh
R.tlenF'lctt}

Seems like oll of the kids in the scene ore coming down on God these
doys ond ihe old television people ore moking money off of him. lf you
think obout it, I think God lost interest wiih people in the eorly 70s (the
some iime disco wos invented ond Greose wos the lotest thing on
,&
.€. w
'**
q
Broodwoy). Ever since ihen the poor guy hos been getting exploited to#

ond stuff. I iust think ihoi moybe he deseryes o voice for once since he :lhi
r--::\t

con't reolly tolk or onything. 'Couse if I were God l'd be reolly sod
obout whot's going on ond how everyone hos got some silly belief thot
would moke people die in wors over me, kill themselves, punish innocent
people ond then moke money.

{t.
{ -.-:- - I-
4;
nI' l';'r; olic but octuolly I prefer iust to think of
rl
't God ond noture os the some thing. I don't know whot religion ihot'd be
-gf;-- but thot's whot I om. Anywoys, I think people mode up religion so thot
q4

they could set up o few rules for civilizotion ond moybe grow into
empires. I think thot moybe thot's why God lost his populority in the
eorly ZOs becouse there wosn't onywhere else to go in the world.

4:ffi
Wffi:
fu:vct asCanEatMyShorfs
Hi! Welcome to Shonnon's punk rock record rsrievn. AAost of he stuff I revion is
cnroiloble from:

Gr.g ot Spirol Oblectlve

'126
P.O. Box
EDWARDSTOVAI SA 5046

Remember, slcy punk fuck grunge, fuck corporole record sbres thot don't dl vinyl,
coz vinyl is punk!

Bod Religion ... Recipe For Hole lP

It is frrcking omozing how this bond con chum out [P ofter lp from the sorne
fucking chord progresion. Whot reolly put me off this is the hctthot eddie (Pecr{
Joml Vedder sings bocking rrccols. Fuck yuck. Bod Religion one meont o lot o
me, now they bie the big one. Pseudo grunge core ot its worst. Sdl-o$wrillen oll
over it. Give me'AgoinstThe Groin'onydoy.

Epitoph 1993

Pinch me, I musf be dreomingl This is the best thing I hove heord in o long while.
Kindo likeJovbreoker ploying snuff songs if theywere English. No, lcon,t
conpore rhis tp, it is fucking owesome. Cool ndodic punk rock with gruff vocols.
Stond out kocks ore 'spdng Tirne' ond 'Not A Do/ Goes By'. Bliss.

Roughneck I 99t
4FffiAE=-=ffim,
Toe To Toe ... Unonimous Points Decision 7' EP

lmnnculote fdlo* up kr their first EP. Toe To Toe ore the kings of the Aussie
l'nr&o'e hop. Clocharork drumming ,rozor shorp guilors ond ftotl's crwesorne
rocols remind me of Bold nreets Gutiennouth. Complebwith on owesorne
rsrdition of The Germs' 'Medio Blit1. Fcnre cut The Edgd. fu wo* guys!

.l993
funch Drunk Producfions

Fug'ozi ... ln On The Kilhoker tp

lm nof gonno moke ony ortphog quoles or probssionol olternolive

onolpis o[ rhis
LP,oll l'm gonno sry is thot i/s punk os fuck- Fugoziore srill orolly independenf
ond musicolly ovesome. Fcnrourile cut'fublic Wikress progrom,. yeohtll

Dischord 1993

Mighty Mighty Bosslones ... Don't Khow How To Porly CD

I don'tgive o shit if they're on o rnolor or not, but l'm o sucker br sko core ond the
Bosslones ore on t.op! The bros seclion iust does it fcr ne. Stond out hocks ore
the title hock,'Some Doy lsuppose', ond the cover of Tin Soldiers' (Sriff Litle
Fingers). Your hoppiness is guoronteed. Steol o copy coz it costs thirty bucks from
Virgin.
,5
,l993 \: r.
Mercury
Pennyrvise ... Unkncnvn Rood CD

R.l.P. Bod Rdigion. Pennpvise shits on you. Awesome follow up to their first ond
clossic self titld LP. Buzzsov gurilors ond coolvocols nroke this o reolwinner.
Mrsic'fi'skote tol My fore kack is 'h/s Up To M"'. So.ry guys, I tried to b
sceplicol obouf fhis, but lcouldn'tl l/s ovesone!

Epitoph 1993

Foce To Foce ... Don'tTum Awoy lP

lhis LP hos been out for o yeor. Awesome, lotolly originol nelodic Oronge County
punk with choruses thoi stoy in your heod for months. Toblly unbrgettoble. Punk
LP of I 993 ecsily

,l993
Dr Stronge

Clowns Of Deco&nce ... Kqmikoze Komivol CD

l've seen thern live ond I reolly liked them, one of the few Adeloide bonds thof
kept
me voguely interested from sftort to finish, but I wish *rey would drop rhe
funly
white boy crop. ls itig5f me, or ore they funkier on record thon live? Over oll, i/s
o gd recording, cool musicionship ond songwriting, but pleose drop the funk
trip. More bross, less funk. Funk is deod. Apod hom thot, the clowns rule. (well,
live onpvoy!)

MDS I993
 EiikiniKill ... Rebel G\AT'

I think ir sucks how rioi gnl is idenrified with Hole ond

Bobes ln Tdond. Fuck
he., fuck rheir sob corporot= g,,'lgrunge. Bikini r(llore wl-rere
i/s ot|New
Rodio' rips wirlr fucked up lyrics, 'Rebel Girl, is o punk ,Demi
runcnMoy shrnp ond
Rtp' it so punk it hurtsl Arnost rnokes me wont fo get o sex
chonge ond ioin rhem.
Guest stoning .l,oon Jett!

Kill Rock Stors 1993

&reeching Weosel ... Anthem For A New Tonronow LP

Their fifth 12" venture ond it kicks oss. Totol buzzsow pop punk. Ben's vocols
dd hods ond cohhy chord progressions. Cool follov up to lost
io1qlly rule, some
yeo/s disoppointing lWggld. The coolest trock is "lhrift Store Girl'. Awesome.
lookout Records 1993

Voodoo Glow Skulls ... D"g Pile EP

More sko core! lhese gqfs ore like The Vondols meets the Bosstones. Bross
selions reolly do it for me. I love 'em. Oonge County sko punk.

Dr Shonge I 993

Avoil ... Arcmpt To Regres EP

Two owesone, thorght provoking songs here. Totolly enrolionol pissed off ond
sincere, slightly woiding he emo core log. 'Conneclion' is obout the right to oct

the wcy you wont of o shcnv, doncing eE; Mr. lvlorgon' is o loblly cnvesone epic
obout oging but still feeling young insi&. funk!

Coiheter-Asembly 1993
Ponsy Division ... Undressed l.p

You know, il,s cool ond oll thot this bond is breoking
grannd in the horno core
sbkes, but the music is shit! rfs funny ond oll,
n*,y
uut ir, thing. And nq lm
nofo homophobe.

.l993
Lookort Records

Roncid ... Roncid lP

the newoddition
Awesome punk rock from this Eost Boy trio {nowo foursomewifh ;

tors.) Greot musicionship,leod boss. why shoid I mention operotion

tyy?
of
Lint is god!

Epituph 1993

New Bomb Turks ... Deshoy Oh Boy!! LP

Awesome Ohio punk rovk! l'm sick of rwing obout this, so l'm not going b. 'Up
For A Downslidd rules. Truly huly owesonn.

Crypt 1993

Wi
 Blccd, Hca;ts
l/s only been o bw doys, so ot the rnoment l'm eniof ng the ropturo.rs lhroes of full
blown heortoche. Lucky ole rne, l've never been heorthd<en bef<xe so now l'm
leoming one of life s hor&st lessons ot the Shool of Hord Knocks. I olwcrys
thought lwos o very slrong ond stoble person emotionolly, ond olthough I con still
feel thot shength in me ... it's like ifs ever present, yor know? ... beling like this hos
nrode me go kind of shoky ond wobbly,[or o little fime ot leost. People olwcys sry
experiencing heortbreok will nnke you o shonger person when you get through it
bloh bloh bloh ... I hcnre olreody been given this odvice ond ot he nroment it
doesn't reollywqsh with nre. VVho knows though, nqfbe in six nronths tine fil be
sitling down *ith ,ry'friends hwing o gd old hee-hcnv obout The Time I Got My
Heort Broke, wtrot o knee slopper hotwos. When you're heo*broken il's so hord
to imogine whot ifs like fro not be heortbroken. Ihe reol rub is seeing hoppy
couples together, olthough heoring my porents orgue, on the other end of the

scole, gefs me eclgy ond initoblebo when normolly I ius' don't give o domn. I
know it's hord for my friends bo, becouse oll they con do is drog out those old
cliches ond kick lhem oround iust one more time. Hey there's other fish in the seo!
lf he didn't oppreciote you fien he's not worth it! One dcry yor'll look bock on this
ond lough yorr bol heod off! A fust'n' furious gome of Uno beots o guy ony
doy! Hey, guys suck onyrvcry! Who needs'em? Just becouse l'm crying into my
quiche doesn't meon I needed him, does il? Honestly, the whole business of
heortbreoking iust sucks no motler where you stond. Definiely, the hordest port is
hing the unfotunob who is getling the heorrheok. But it hoppens o qll of us
sooneror lobr (o. so l'm told, onywcy.) H*ing been in the unenvioble position of
hing the heortbreoker, I olso kno,,r hot unles yo;'re o cddsss ruthless Fuitof
solon, il's reolly honible b do, ond it octuolly does hurt. Quite o bit. Then there
ore he innocent byston&rs friends ond relofires who ore firown into the
-
distinctly uncombdoble podtion of hwing lo combrt. This is not everyone's fore.
Therds nothing quib like pouring yo.rr heort or.rt kr sorreone who sits there helples
ond wordles, struggling voinly to ftnd sonnthing onyhing to soy. Um,
- -
you're ... you're ... you're btter off without him. Yeoh, tho/s it (Con I go now?)
Steer cleor of those unscvoury choroclers who encouroge you lo wollow. lvlost
times they iusl wonf soneone lo whinge cnvcy fie hours with. Don't bie the boit,
 N:
N.

or you'll be pining cnilny br Mr. or Miss Almost Kind Of Rigtrt But Not Reolly long
ofbr you would hore been hod you toughed it out even on your ovn. My mum
" Y
"v$
I
told ne b throu myself into my work ond it would seem o lot eosier. She's sor"t d
right, but I don't think thot denlng o situolion conrplebly is going lo get onnvhere
either. lt's like iustobortevery other lucking thing in lib, you hwe b find ilrot
perfect medium ... don't gurgle up inlo penrnnent phlegm boll of self pihy, ond

don't sweep it oll under the ofohon with o p*lq, aerything's line iust fucking
dond olright vnile slop@ forcefully on your ftrce. I fed bod bur&ning nry
friends with my unhoppiness. Port of me thinks thot theyll g"t t"d| si& n deoth
o[ mywhining if lge into ony&roil obout my feelings. Heck, Im lmcn.rn ftr being

hoppy ... whot if fiey grow fird of the me who is less thon chirpf Which is one
reolly good reoson for keeping o ioumol, writing letters ond sbries, ond of course,
doing o 'zine (not hof l'm biosed or onything.) Athalgh (ogoin) i/s not t,o @
go completely werboord, it is good to look ot hovyou're feeling ond whotyor
con do b set obout rnoking things htter. lfs not reol eoqy fro do ot first, ht b
honestwith yoursell ond vrlren you're g""d ond reody, bke o decent bok. Be
with people v"lro nrcke you bel good, if yo con. lf yor like your cnin conrpony,
then go br broke ond spend some tinre with yordf. Just don'turollou"trump
oround if you con hdp it. When you bd yordf getling better (ot the risk of
sornding like o iumped up df help book) then i/s o domn fine thing to go orond
kind of rsvord yourself ... fuck if, you desenre it, yo; survivorycru. Bq'or steol
yourself *e rnoon if it mokes yor bel g""d l'm still kind of stuck in thot dd
mindworp which hos yo,' thinking thotyou'll never find onyone quite os perfect os
thot fishswomp hot broke your heort in the first ploce. This is the firstond only time
l've ever been in love, but l'm young (ond toking on educobd gomble fd h willing
to bt the form thotyor're under 501 so there s o pretty good chonce thot both of
us will find someone else, ond moybe if we're reolly domn lucky ond eot oll our
vegebbles, thot sorneone else might even be btter! A cheering thought, don'tyar
rhink? l've lcrund thot ofier you've got most of your crfng out of the woy, yol're
octuolly foirly producfive. lnsteod of stewing rnodly o/er o situolion thot I couldn't
V, be fuckd trying lo rwerse, I om putting my energies inlo other things ... like writing
"J{ \;r
\ this sorry litle piece, so iust in cose you're reoding this ond feeling like mcryb
 we're in the some bmt here, it helps b know fiotyou're not the only poor sucker
going through it! Hwing been doing little but tolking obout putting out this 'zine
br over o yeor, I Ht hot this wos the ultimote opportunily io g€f ny oss into geor
ond get itgcing. Don't let thot fishsvomp stop you fronr doing things yar enioy.
Useyorr lime fo gef creolive ... slort pointing, droving, writing sbries, songs,
onyhing. Express your fedings ond don't lef hem slcry insi&. lf yor.r're wonied
obout letting it oll $y in front of yorr fomily or friends, then puf it down on poper.
Woittilyou've gotyour house toyourself, fien tum up the music reolly loud ond
screom ond yell your heod off. Strongely enough if con be quite lihroting to
throw your heod bock ond yell outwhot o slinky oss shit sipping spovn of o
sevenih son swine tl'rot fishsvomp reolly is. At firstyou might bd silhy, but then otl
of o sudden i/ll sbrt feding reolly g."d ond you'll wind up lering ir oll rip
regordless of whof yor neighbours think. You ore well within your righrs b moum
sonrething you hore lost, ond every person needs their own lime kr do so. Don,f
b intimidoted orwonied into hiding ollyour feelings or/oy. lf you find you con't
tolk to sorneone obout it, hen work throgh it in your heod orwrib it down on
poper. A6 l've soid before, some people ore iusf no good ot being comfoding. h/s
not thot they don't core,
ifs lust hot they gef uncomforbble ond they don't knov
quile where to bgin or whot io sry. Don't be roo hud by it becouse you,ve got the
strength within you to getover this byyourself. Reolly honestly. Of oll people, you
con ot leost h stroightwith yourself. Toke os much fine os yor need ond don,t
forget to remind yourself vrirot o fucking remorkoble specinen of humonity you
ore, goddomn it And heclq if oll else foils ond you're on the thin edge of the
weclge (os my mum puts it) then wrile me o leHer ond ell ne oll obout if ond see if I

con't putyou right. Give it time, bombino. Remembr how weryone olwoys
onnoyingly srys thof time heols oll, ond even you ond me hwe to odmit ifs true.
Before you know it shebong! Yor'll be cool os oll geFout.
-
 Soundtrac( o'So wott
Feeling sod ond suicidol over thot horrible fishsvomp thot
broke your heorp
foeryone telling you to look on the bright side, there,s other fish in
the seo?
Well, for o dcry ot leost, why not hove o good mope oround ond indulge
yourself in o whisker of self pity. Buy o 7s%fumily block of chocobe]
drown your sorrows in the potent beveroge of you,r choice, ond whine
o^/oy
the hours listening to these, our fovourie heortbreok songs.
Go oheod ond
weep yourself dry.

Don'l- Turn AwdL! -- Fa cefo Fare

lf Yo, Knaut --lHe Pavasile'
Whq Do You h/ont Hin "' Qreen Dtf
'
Fnlf"j Apa'f -- 5 creechiy Neas.(
Sh*' My Fx --An
Losl Caus" -' Cosrnic Psy.hos
t tt/anl My 6ab,1 ... Deed ? ! -- rVe, BonbTv.+,s
gesl po'.f' of Briarrg ,p -- De,i/
DoJr
To Hell hrith Love ---Tl. 6arnboos

I F'Tg
(liveI Me Jo, -- The Po,-f.idge Fanity
Bactr Any Man -- gszs
Kiss The B"tile __ J;rbFeal(er
kitl Foy M, --
Th" Sp(atterheads
4oo $ue,(s _. R.re renol Ho"f on
H.uf
Whal Coqlo{ I
Have Done -- J clrvvelt
Do Yoh Loue Me Now i --
Thc greeders
4ce -- The D€rce4 c{anfs
0nThe Te{ephohc -- glonctis
!u"g,13
IVever QYu;1q Up O^ yoo -- The Parariles
Clea" Aay Altf;" -- go,ud!
I Doo'l- h.Ionna
0 Be /n Love
6e {n hjilh fo.r--
Lore Nlr^ roq-' )trcrcfirhdf
Screecfiin
htto'/(
Qo -' Ha,d ons
A in'', Goana kl Yor.r
Ert, Th. l.^onheods
lonug Bo,, -- Th. {ex Pishls
Twu Fric ndY Cringer
Don'f tearg Me -- Qreen Day
 fir;ngrlhtro*aaah Norq
1n

H iiI
Luno Molt or Roinbow Chip Frddo Frogs

Being on Aldingo Beoch when there's no one

obout lisening to the l-ernonheods

'Hob Your Friends'

sunseh, hot chips ond lusf moments in sonreone's
old Holden

oof{odils
Justenough vodko, line ond lenron to mokeyo' slightly
di=y
Poppy King'Lusfl ond'lnspirotion' lipstick
Kissing
f.ople*ho nroke you hel g""d oboutyourself when you're oround them
Pineopple geloti
looking crozy
Dir.o ion.ing with soneone who doesn't core much obout
Driving your cor reolly fost down o dork rmd
O.pplng oround fio o friend's house for on hour ond skyng oll night

Cold cleon sheets in hot summer weother

Gorlic breod
your friend
Holding honds with someone even when they're iust
At leosf bn hours sleeP
$iw In hne Volama o at

lflzlnns$"$esrsts af.X,ifg/

FEARLESS."BOOK' ON LIFE MONEY-BACK ;

7I\HIS book ii.":;.. riiil"r*, rineing ih"lt.rrg" to GUABA.\TEE OF
I 'prudery and. ignorance. It contains the S,rrrsrAcrrolI
fruits of a ",lifelong study oI one of the biggesr TF in Jour op:.n::n
I:his
prcblems confronting young. manhood anci book ooes tro;
womanhood of the world. In writing it. the rne.asure up lo ex-
author has dared eondemnation to tell people pecta[ lox*<. ref 'l-rD. ::
what they really'needed to know'abouc them- rr:hln !,0 ds,ys" &n.C
seives. I{e has had to surnount extraordinarl gei J'our traone$' re-
difriulties in the preparation of tbe book. \fan5 funded [!n PWLI*
ol the topics discussed had neyer before ap- I{o quest.ions rrl},
peared in a book intended tor popular consum,p- be asked. You pnn
tion. But the truth is mighty. It can ueitber be sole .ludge of lts
be ignored nor suppressed. Tbere sBs an oyer- value to you. Yor.l
wheiming need and. demand for a fearless,. plain-. are risking nothing I
speaking book on sexology. The' wall of ignor- you have ever-r-
ance that. is wrecking millions of lives must be thing to gaitr get
bro_ken dowri. Tlris foariess book is the out- your order in- the
come! ' '' . '- .': . ' post NOW !
,I
DOYOU KNOW? BOTH PERSONAL AND CO}f-
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fllets and Emotlons How ft furnlshes deflnite and practlcal informa-
Promlsculty is Punlshed tion on vital subiects, pure ln themselves.
'that are frequently surrounded with vulgar
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ards of Clvlllsatlon Tbe r- - IDOST THIS'l.O-llll- -
Ttagedy ol Indlviduol Isola- I Health and Physlcal Culture Pubttsbtng-: I
tion -
(rr Harmony
-
Marriage: A Conflict
Experimental , Co. Ltd., Sales
-Dept. 5, :{ Clarence- St; r
lllarriages The Heroic New I' Dear Sydney, I{.S.W. }
ll'oman .- - Soeial Behaviour- Sirs Please send under plain I
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return post one copli of "The I
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'l'o-Dirt': Srnd f or )'our eop].
Kl-Olt'! I| aopRnss... I
' *u can send tt
We it C.O.D. the
pRI' tne
c.o.D. Just Ph)' I

T'OST THIS TO-DAY I I Dosttnan a fes' pence extra ott l.ti::.._l

 Ds/otd os I om b he gorgeousness of red heoddness, I figure yor couldn'f hore
o
do-it-yordf isue wifhout nrenlioning hcnaryou con tum yorr hoir into cornehither

d
ftery locls. lmyrlf hwe been hookd on rd hoir ftrobolfouryeors nov, ond fve
got no intention of giving it up. Hov could onyone? When yor think
of hov in old
tinres rd hoir signifid o hof ond posionote noture
even!!!) ond
{hor-heodedness
wos linkd b mogic ondwitchcrofi... well,yor
iustcon,tgo postred hoirfor
sensuorJsness ond myslery.

Domn those lucly peopb who were born with noturolly red or oubum hoir ... it looks
so good! lvlony peoplds noturol hoir-cdourolreody hos o smifren of rd in it...
brunetles usuolly hwe o foir hdping blen&d in there sornavhere, ond sone blon&s
hore the polest lint o[ rd when you look in the light I guess yor could scy thot rd
hoir isn'f ftr weybocly, but if yw con find o bit of rd in yor hoir noturolly, fien
chonces ore yor'll look iust fine, if not dropdeod beoutiful, with rdder hoir.

pretl./ much up to yo.r from lere howyou do it ond whot cdour you choose.
However, ftr reolly cool noturol red, my weopon of choice hos olwcrys been
henno. There ore o zillion reosons why henno is o giood bet ...

ll's noturol, soyo;'ve got to mess up pretfy bodly b end up with o

dodgr dy.job.
Yor.r con keep hennoing your hoir for quite some lime ond (os for os l've
found out ond l've been hennoing for yeeeeors) ond no reol domoge con
be done lrr your locks. The most fiot seems b hoppen is thqt it con be
quib drying if you henno it every couple of weeks br o long time.
lfs notrcry arpensive ord o lorge kg of itwill lostyar fcr o gpd while.

Henno gloving in the sun looks'so dorned nice!

After hennoing yorr hoir i/s reolly lovely ond soft to touch.
Dongbumit! How could you not wont trr henno your hoir nov? lf you're oll ftred
up like I om, here's hov b do it.

Firstof ollyou need the henno. The best stuff I hore found yetconres kom the
Cleorlight Coh in Rundle Street. They've got some reolly g*d shong red Persion

Henno which comes ot o reolly g""d price. You iust scoop it out of o bucket ond
they weigh it ond chorge you. lf yor've got short hoir you probobly will only need

obout o hondful of henno to do rhe iob ... if it's long then yotr should get two or
three heoped hondfuls. I olwoys get o hir bit ond then store it owcy for those

sponloneous momenh when l've got four hours to spore ond roots gro'ving out oll
orer he ploce. From here the process is pretty eosy to describe. You toke fiot
greot nnrshy smelling stuff home ond sift it inin o lorge bcl /1. I should sry here
thot henno is reolly reolly ressy ond will sbin iust obout onything. Use o metnl
bowl or o gloss one i[ you con, some plostics seems b pick up the henno cdour
reolly quickly. fren though povderd henno is grwr, the sbin it leores is rery
oronge. Anyfhing voguely porous iust sucks it up like o Wonge. Don'tworry, it
uon't stqin vten i/s dny, only ofieryo've oddd the v'sbr to it. Bctl up o kdile of
\^obr ond then stir it in slow!. Try ond get out nrost of tle big lumps ond odd iust
enc4h uobr to moke o thick posb, sort of like voery moshed pobioes. You'll

proboHy iust be lopping up the snrell of henno bo (r'ot) ... ifs fuirly shong smdling
when i/s dry, but the smdl doubles when il,s mixed up with wobr. Smells o bit like o
s\^omp lo ffi€, somelimes o bit like rnonure. Urgh. Thonkfully ofier il's ben wushed
o/you contsmdl itony nrore (thofs if yor'vev,oshd thoroughty, mindyor.)

but not
lewe he henno b cool br o fov minules, ond then vtlren i/s stillworm
henno is so messy, you'd b
enough to hud your heod, siott getlin' it on. Becouse
much better offweoring rubber gloves so your honds don't gP oronge' For this

some reoson, o lot of people prebr b put o lcyer of vodineor cold creom

oround their hoirline ond necks ond orer iheir eors to stop
he henno poste from
quite o tum off' lf you do
tuming them oronge. Oronge eors in porficulor con be
wipe itoffwifh wobr skoightcnvqy. lf the henno hos fime b
siort
stoin your force,
toke o few doys bfore it
colouring your skin, which itwill do right cnvcy, itwill
 weors off ... sonrething like one ro
rhree doys. rf you do tum your honds or fo,ce
oronge toke heo*- Middle Eostem
women used henno fro sroin rheir honds
ond
anq
foetos o decorotive ceremonior kind
of thing. r guess rhu roin messoge
here is ..
hy ond be neof. bl't
slop if of over yoursetf for. peHs soke.
You con dlvide your hoir into sections
ond work rhe henno through reolly
thoroughly ond thor gefs fhe best
resurts, buf don,t reore it too
rong before you,ve
corered your whoh heod, orherwise
sorne birs will be redder hon
ofhersl Besf of
oll is t'o gef o grood friend who will
roke the time to pull on the gloves
ond wo* the
henno throrgh evenly foryor.
once i/s oil through, coveryour heod
wifh o prosic
shcnver cop or o plostic shopping
bog if
1ou,r.
,iry j** ... octuofty, even
rour hoirin glod *o? wor*s fuirlywell iiywh*.n,r
f:oo:n
those. Keep if up off
goreirher of
of yorr neck ond foce. Then
sbined ond wrop hot oround rhe plosric.
*, on old towel thof con be
th"n y* con wonder oround foeling
like you've got o big lood on
yor skult like one trr"* greot Africon wornen
corrying stuffon their heods in world "r
Around Us, docunnntories.

trc?

There is no reol prescribed fime to reore

henno on your hoir, reoffy. rf yo.r hore
brovn ro block hoir, yor con leore if on ftr o f*'h*rs. rf yorr ioi,, i, bron& or
reolly pole or whib, I would use o very
weok solufion of henno ond don,f lecnre it
on
for ony longer thon holf on hour ot he very
most. More like fifreen minutes I would
think' You con rinse off o shond ond hore
o look ot the colour to find out hor red
ifs gelting. The cdourwill shrf seiling in
os soon os yorr put he henno on so keep
on eye on it. I know hov mrch my hoir con bke becouse |ve been
hnnoing it for
so long, but o ...ry hoir is noturofiy o right broarn, ond b
give yo..r on ideo
hoir o bright red I leore the henno on for
i., r,
obounwo b rhree h,ours. sfill, r d*It
know yorr lroir like ye &, so moke sure
you keep checking ond knov where rhe
colour is ot, otherwiseyou mightend up redder
thon you plonred.

\, _
when you're sef ro rinse it oll out, moke sure
there,s nothing lrcnging neor your
dripping heod in rhe borhroom orherwise
ir mighr g., ri'..a your borh (if
i/s
enomel / porceloin) shouldn't sloin of oll. h.on *i.
o long time to rinse ouf he
henno so hore porience. Keep rinsing
your hoir unfir he worer runs creor
ond
trhere ore no bits of henno honging orlrnd in your hoi," ond *^.
\ Onceyou've gottren the hong o[ henno therds heops o[ other thingsyou con odd

t] b it fo chonge he colour of the dye slighfi. Indion leo odded b the mixiure mokes
o dor*er browny red, lemon iuice mokes it o brighter sort of red, olkonet root (my
ftvorib) mokes o reolly inlense red, but is iustos messy os henno tr prepore, so
the two combined ore o pretty evil kirchen mess. Rosehip bo mokes it o little
redder. A drop or two of rosenury oil or o leospoon of dried rosernory in the dye
nrokes your hoir o bit stronger ond heolthier.

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IHE ONLY RAC€ I FIND

ROMANCE I5 IN 'IHE
OICTIOT]ARY I JUST SUE. YOUVT
HAVENT GOT WHAT 11 COT EVES/THINi
TAKES FOR A ROMANCE I1 TAKES - IF VOi D n::..
Jt ST CtT YoU(
OENTIS' TC GIVE
\cLr TH€ FACTS Crl Eiri
BAD BRSAT:-

C!I6A'TE DENIAL CRT,AM CITAN

ICUR.BREATH WHII€ IT CLEANS Y0JR
IEEI|I.ANDTHE COLOAII WA\ OF
ERUSHINC TEETH RICHT AFTER EA
- sr0e5 ToorH 9EcA\ 8E5T1
.
WHEN
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PUT
CAVE CCITGAIE CARE
^
TH5 MAN INIO RO*IANCi

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Tects Published in Authoritotive Dentol
Literoture Show Thot Brushing Teeth Right Alter Eoting with

COTGATE DEIITAI. CREA]S

SrOpS TOOTII DEIEY BESI I
 Cookin, U?ASfo ,n !
Sbbs, he broughr bock
thcookbook' ..,.i^i^^r.
cooLh",^L
this
is
wirh
oris ino ltv,_ T
h;,
r.rl
mo
ilrev*l
ny mony cool things,
ffi
omong vnfiich wos
; ;;";ff il,-Tfl
bur seeins os he,s picking
fruir in ;;-:#"r;*1p",
n"'"n XLi:
from the cookbook "soy, rh* ore bken
Nor oif wiil serye
ond o to'pl"
iro
",
*ir Here,s fhe intro
ro keep vour tummies
*,|]yk' "r'*ip", hoppy unrir rhe

" ... Firstquestion:'\ou'reo whot?,Avegon? Whofs

rhor?,, second
question: ,,Oh." pouse. ,Well then, v"fiot do
you etl?,,
ii.\i.ilii-ii$.--:\\-tN
in.S"s.ilit-\jiliri:,r!;i!l*;'S

Whot do we vegons eot, onywoy? Well, wdre generolly not out in the bock
yord nibbling on shrubs ond gross, os some people I trrlk to holFseriously
suggest. However, we olso don't eot the some things most people sit down to
i
..d:
dinner ftr either, so explonotions ore needed. This cookbook in port serves os
t,
k*t
on explonotion for us, but if is olso designed br other purposes.

For one, it is written br vegetorions ond especiolly sickly vegons who oren't
exoctly sotisfied with their diet. Eoting rice ond romen for doys on end gets
old reol quick, ond unfortunotely lots of molnourished vegons ore subsisting
on such o diet os I write this. lf you olreody hove the lofty morol principles
ond bel it's high time your diet (ond heolthl) mokhed up ro rhem, hopefully
this cookbookwill help. Glving up vegonism cos you touldn't find onything
good to eofl is no excusel
Secondly, we wont to interest people in vegonism ond hopefully encouroge
swikh. We won't bullshit you; this cookbook is bloftrnt
them to moke the
propogondo. Our messoge is simple: Go vegonl lfs not o unique messoge
onyone fointly in touch with punk rock or onimol rights hos certqinly heord
-
it before. Mony people hcnre seen the gory photos, reod the reosoned
orguments, reod the impossioned pleos, ond reod the focts on how vegonism
soves the environment, ond onimols, ond one's heolh. Pertrops rnony of

these people ore sympothetic, or they even ogree thot vegonism is o

sounder,

more compossionole eihicol choice thon vegetrrrionism or being comivorous.

But they're still not vegon. This cookbook is especiolly designed
for you folks.
you,re olreody reod the cold hord focts ond you've been scolded foryour
collousness ond ignoronce trying o dihrent opprooch' With "Soy,
-we're
Not Oil" we wont to go beyond the lorgely negotive orgumenh br vegonism
ond showyou concretely ond positively thot not only is vegonism politicolly
correct, it's o lot of goddomn fun! So, insteod of telling you horrible tnles of
cows, colves, rope rocks, poisons ond profits, we're going to tellyou how io
moke some trrsty vegon food.

Finolly, vegonism (for me, of leost) is o greotwcty b soy fuckyou trr the
powers thot be ond their odvertisers, os well os being on imporlrrnt element trc

on oltemotive, even oppositionol lifeslyle. Our 9 to 5 rush rush lives hqve

queezed the ioy out of cooking ond tumed it infic o chore, leoding people to
prefer microwqving o box o[ mosh potrrto flokes insteod of preporing o full,
well-rounded meol br obout the some costl By seporoting life into work ond
leisure, we find ourselves with no time even to bed ourselves properly. With
this cookbook, we hop" to not only help you moke delicious vegon food, but
to recloim the ort ond ioy of cooking thot hos been stripp"d o*oy from us
over the yeors by our onomic/onoemic, post-industriol hyper-stress culture.
lnsieod of lives of work ond leisure, we wont to ploy, oll the time, oll our lives,
ond cooking con be o wonderfulwcy to ploy. By cooking o good meol,
especiolly omong friends ond fomily, ond enioying the process of cooking os
much os the finol product, we not only feed ourselves well, we recloim o pod
of our lives thot is quickly dwindling, reploced by TV, 60 hour work weeks,
ond lib in the fost lone. Sove the eorth, sove onimols, help yourself, ond give
those copitolist bosftrrds o good kick in the Liberol Humonist oss ot the some
+i*^ C^L tr^nnltl
 Bonono Flopt ... recipe by Helium

The tnoining wheels:

Around I cup of whole wfieot flour

Around 1/2 cvp of corn meol
Around 3 trrblespoons of boking powder
Some solt (moybe)
Some soy milk
Approximotely 3 bononos
Around 2 trrblespoons of oil (it doesn't moter wlrot kind, goddomnit!)

"Mffi
Here s how I do it:

_w;
=&n,
l=!=EPet-Effi
MLx flour, com meol, boking powder ond
some solt (mcrybe), then odd some
soy milk ond mix well. I like to get fie botfer
os consistent os ... well, you
know, you'll belwhen it,s right. Then odd
the oir. chop up the bo#os inr,o
bonono discs or ony other shope you moy like
ond mix them with o smoil
omount of botter in o smoll (or big) bowl,
iust enough so thot eoch piece of
bonono is covered with botter.

while i/s cooking, ploce some bononos on trrp, ond when you bel ifs ihe
right time, flip it over, or don't flip it ot oll; ifs up trr you. lt s oll up b you.
 Oh Shit ld Beter Cook The Vegefrrbles Before They Tum Rotten St€\ / ... byJoel

You know the strrry. You go shopping ond buy o cortful of vegetobles,
plonning to cook up o veritoble comucopio of vegetoble dishes for ihe ne*
week. However, things never work out thot wcy, do they? you're ftro tired to
cook one night, you go out br Mexicon food the next night, ond then to your
porenfs for free grub the bllowing doy, ond before you know it there s o
pungent odour seeping through the reFigerotor doors. The mushrooms ore
blockening, the ftrmotoes ond bell peppers ore getting squishy, o hint of
mould is oppeoring on the couliflower, ond yuclc/ whire roots ore sloding to
pop out of the eyes of your pototoes. You need trr toke oction, ond fost.
Here's how ldo it.

oil
Polotoes ore pretty much o strrple, though not irreploceoble
-
I my veggies thot ore obout trr go icky
A big con of tomoto poste
A con of beons, if there s one oround
Tofu, if you hwe it
Lots of spices whotever you're into, but especiolly block pepper
-
ln o big pot, put o thin loyer of oil. Dice up your potrrtrces ond onions ond
onything else thot's solid in texfure, ond throw it in the pot of hot oit
{iust like
the christions used to do ro infidels). rf you're odding ony slightly smelly rofu, i

this is the time to do it.

tet this cook for o white, dumping in lots of spices. i

This time I odded pepper (lots), cvrty powder (lots), cumin, ccyenne pepper, I

gorlic solt, gorlic powder, oregono, lemon pepper, you know, the usuol. I

While this is cooking, chop up oll the veggies in your fridge thot ore going
bod (l cut out the mould ond quishy ports, but the more odventurous of you
willwont to relrrin them for ffwour!) Toss 'em in when the pototoes seem
obout holf done ond cook this on high heot br o bw minutes. Then, odd q
big con of tomoftr poste (souce, puree, whobver) ond o con of beons (kidney
or pinftr, prebrobly), more spices, ond stir.

The tfuth iS not controversial with those who

are honest. Truth ieveals what the people need
to know.
 simmer
then put on low heot, cover, ond let
Cook on high for o lew minutes,
soft (oryou're too hungry towoit
for 15 to 20 minutes, until the poirrtoes ore
whotever nonspoiloble dry goods you
ony longer.) serve with crockers or
the veggies lrom being wosted ond
hwe, ond proise yoursell for solvoging
to boot'
for cnroiding o nosty cose o[ food poisoning

M S:;ri
i.+

Build Biscuits Not Bombs ... by Joel

These ore reolly trrsty ond the gwemment bors thenr ond their possibilities for
creoting o iust ond peoceful world, so ficke nob.

2 cups of white unbleoched flour

I toblespoon of boking powder
I-2 toblespoons o[ nuhitionolyeost (optionol
but delicious)
I teospoon of solt (optionol)
I/3 cup of oil
2/3 cvp of soy milk

Preheot oven ftr 450 degrees. Mix oll the dry ingredients in o mixing bowl,
then odd the oil ond soy milk. Stir untilyou get o nice sofr dough. Est o linle
row; ifs good (l think so ony\ /oy). lf you're not trco lo4y, kneoding the dough o
bit would be o good ideo.
Breok off little chunks, shope them inrrr penfogons, od ploce them on on
ungreosed cookie sheet. These reolly don't rise much, so the dough bollyou
put on the cookie sheet will be obout the size of the cmked biscuit. Boke until
brown on lrrp, obout 15 - 20 minules.
The sooner you serye them the better, os these trrste best hot. lf you're cynicol
obout the possibility of these biscuits inducing worH disormonrentond
governmentol downfoll, letthem sit out br o bv dcrys ond then you con use
th"lqfEqEld*dly proiectiles to hurl ot cops os they drive by your kirchen.
However, I prebr to eot these right out of rl'n o/en, t pp*d with nrorgorine.
 lo""V l-emon Pie by J@ck

'-l t v,ffis t ry€t r.:;1ffif;li ii;:i:,.'=.,,.n-"-?+l

-lL le/s keep it simple. This is domn good so moke it.

3 cups of sugor
1/4 cvp of cornstorch (o bit more octuolly)
1/2 teospoon of solt
1 /2 cvp of cold woter a
:tlt,.

1/2 cvp of lemon (or lime) iuice E&-

ffi
I
I
6 teospoons of orrowroot
6 teospoons of wobr
4 trrblespoons of morgorine
3 cups of boiling woter
2 (9 inch) pie shells

--' tt
/)q
bI
ln o soucepon, combine the sugor, comstorch ond solt. Stir in the woter ond W'
Yk
lemon iuice. Prepore the orrowroot ond woter in o seporote cup. Mix them
together ond odd ftr the rest. Add morgorine ond boiling woter. Heot on
medium until it gets reol thick ond goopy. Add to the pie shells ond refrigerote
for obout 3 hours. serve. I guess il's o good wqy b meet girls bo if you oren,f
too shy to deliver them o lemon pie. I om.
 To the lote greot Mott Prenoveou to whom this issue is
dedicoted.
For oll your owesome inspirofion!
.*i To steph Evons, Mott's girl, much love ond strength! r
om here for
',, 'you. \ :j:;'

To Heother curtis, Brod wotson, Andy Kercher, Joe Fox

of Roren
Fruitzine, ond Brion of subterroneon zine ... who storted if oll.
Eternol thonk yous!
To Noomi Fuller of Bond Aid zine for moking me rhink hord
every time
she put pen to poper. Go on girl.
To Hippycore for the soy Not oi! recipes ... rorolly delicious!
To Helyn of who's Moking you Do This zine ... rhonks for
the use of
the orticle obout pits. wish Id met you when I wos
in columbus.
To Doniel for oll your enfhusiosm ond encourogement.
To Ali for moking me feel like I could do ir.
To Johnothon for help with fhe supersmoorh loy-out!
To my sister Rochel, shonnon of sick of Tolk zine,
ond Greg of spirol
Obiective for your ideos ond support.
To Price of silence for kick-storting the scene in Adeloide.
To Mum ond Dod. I love you.
To John Moreno, Americors next cult movie explosion
personified.
To Chuck Shockelford for being o besr friend.
To oll myfriends ond sidekicks ...Jo, Nikki, Koren,
Tilley, Kylie, Tim,
Belindo, Noomi, simon of soon-to-be releosed youthful
Frustrotion
zine in sydney, Bruno in goy poris, ond shone (Risk)
... thonks for
being you ond being there for me.
fo cringer, Bikini Kill, screeching weosel, Jowbreoker, operotion lvy
ond o million other owesome bonds thot inspire ond motivote.
To spirit.
And most of oll ro you for lisrening, thinking ond living.
Find on end to opothy!
ft---
This hqs beeno Shome your Fomily ru production.
Ihqnk you, ond goodnight. '
r'
 Dedlcoted to

Mott
Prenoveou

\ f * B''!
&='-"

\q
Foreve r more!
##