Eight Keys to Life Hardiness and Resiliency

1. The power of perspective

Life is not always easy. We all know that. How we choose the way we think,
feel, and act in relation to lifes challenges can often make the difference
between hope versus despair, optimism versus frustration, and victory versus
defeat. With every challenging situation we encounter, ask questions such as
What is the lesson here? How can I learn from this experience? What is
most important now? and If I think outside the box, what are some better
answers? The higher the quality of questions we ask, the better the quality of
answers we will receive. Ask constructive questions based on learning and
priorities, and we can gain the proper perspective to help us tackle the situation
at hand.
I am not discouraged, because every wrong attempt discarded is another step
forward.
- Thomas A. Edison
2. Dont focus on the mud
We should learn from the past, but not be stuck in it. Sometimes life
circumstances and personal setbacks can haunt and prevent us from seeing our
true potential and recognizing new opportunities. What has already happened
we cannot change, but what is yet to happen we can shape and influence. At
times the first step is simply to break from the past and declare that it is you, not
your history, whos in charge. Ask empowering questions such as What
matters to me now? How can I make a difference in this situation? and
Whats the next step for my best interest and well-being? Every moment
were alive we can make new choices that help us move on and step toward a
better future. If we pay attention to only mud on the ground after a storm, we
wont notice that the sky above us has already cleared. Goethe reminds us:
Nothing is worth more than this day. Dont focus on the mud. Make better
choices today and move on.
For more information on how to eliminate your negative emotions and develop
a positive attitude, see my article Five Keys to Enhancing Your Emotional
Intelligence .
3. All you have to do is askthe right individuals

In life we sometimes may feel like were walking alone, but we dont have to be
as long as were honest with ourselves, and ask for help when needed. You can
find strength and support through a board of advisors you create. These are
your go-to people when youre in need of sound advice, a new perspective, a
certain expertise, or simply an empathetic ear. Members of the board can
include individuals you know whose opinions you respect and character you
trust. Your personal B.O.A. can also include your role models from past and
present, historical or fictional. Ask, for example: What would (role model A)
say about my situation?, or What would (role model B) do if she were in my
shoes? Asking for help is not the same as complaining. Habitual complainers
dwell on whats wrong. Successful people assume responsibility for finding the
support they need to solve the problem.
Normal people have problems. The smart ones get help.
- Daniel Amen
4. Thrive on your strengths while exploring new potential
We each have certain dispositions in which we naturally excel. Some of us are
great with people, others are handy with tools, yet others thrive on information.
A mismatch between what youre naturally good at and your work in life is
wasted potential. There are a myriad of assessment tools available that can help
you determine your natural strengths, as well as your areas of greatest potential.
For more information regarding this point, see my article Follow Your Bliss:
Discover Your True Calling in Life .
When you follow your bliss doors will open where you would not have
thought there would be doors, and where there wouldn't be a door for anyone
else.
- Joseph Campbell
5. Keep the fun and enjoyment
Van Wilder from the movie of the same name said: You shouldnt take life too
seriously. Youll never get out alive. No matter how difficult the
circumstances, resolve to keep the fun and enjoyment in your life. Make a point
to take a mini-vacation everyday; be it walking in the park, exercising,
hugging a loved one, or taking a nice, hot bath. The more challenging and
stressful life is, the more important it is to take good care of yourself so you can
relax your body, ease your mind, and rejuvenate your spirit. After recharging
your batteries, you may see the same situation in a different, more positive light.

6. Keep your options open

There are many paths to opportunity, success, and happiness . We can begin by
asking ourselves what true success and happiness means and looks like to us,
and let our answers show the way. When one path seems to be at a dead end,
look another way and see what new openings may be waiting just around the
corner. Options can come from consulting the aforementioned board of
advisors, thinking outside the box, daring to dream, doing something different,
or simply letting go of a habit or condition that has clearly outlived its
usefulness. Were never stuck unless we have blinders on. Keep your options
open.
We must dare to think 'unthinkable' thoughts. We must learn to explore all the
options and possibilities that confront us in a complex and rapidly changing
world.
- James W. Fulbright
7. Keep the faith
There are many ways to keep your faith alive: Faith in yourself, faith in your
place in this world, and faith in answers the Universe has in store for you. Go to
places and engage in activities that give you the greatest feeling of inner peace.
When you give yourself this gift on a regular basis, what psychologists call the
Higher Self emerges, as insights, inspiration, and a sense of deep knowing
spring forth from the depth of your soul.
The following quote by Anne Frank is just one example: The best remedy for
those who are afraid, lonely, or unhappy is to go outside, somewhere where they
can be quiet, alone with the heavens, nature , and God. Because only then does
one feel that all is as it should be and that God wishes to see people happy,
amidst the simple beauty of nature. As you immerse yourself in peace, ask:
What if what Im going through is a blessing in disguise? What greater
meaning exists for me now? Put forth these and any other constructive
questions that come straight from your heart. Dont try to figure out the answers
during these moments, but rather empty your mind and let the solutions come
to you. The answers may come at that moment or later: sometimes when the
time is right; sometimes when you least expect them. All you have to do is hold
the questions and pay attention.
Keep the faith. Find your peace within, and the answers will come!
8. Resolve to never, ever give up

I once heard a courageous person say that there are no losers in life, except for
those who give up on themselves. If youre still alive and breathing, your
purpose in this life time is not yet fulfilled. The great adventure is in
discovering what that purpose is, and to live it until your last breath. If youre
reading this article, youre probably being pulled by an inner calling to do more.
That calling is your adventure waiting to happen. What are you waiting for?
And what are you willing to do now?
Abraham Lincoln lost eight elections, failed twice in business and suffered a
nervous breakdown before he became the president of the United States.
- Wall Street Journal
If you dont have the capacity to change yourself and your own attitudes, then
nothing around you can be changed.
- Anwar Sadat
The marvelous richness of human experience would lose something of
rewarding joy if there were no limitations to overcome. The hilltop hour would
not be half so wonderful if there were no dark valleys to traverse.
- Helen Keller