Be Careful What You Wish For

When we think about something intensely we give this idea greater power. In some form these
ideas are more likely to materialize. If we worry over making a mistake, we can increase our
chances of doing this. We therefore need to be careful what we think about; if we worry over a
negative outcome we increase the chance that it will occur Our worries can become self
fulfilling. If we remember the power of thought, we will be more careful about dwelling on
painful outcomes. ather than worrying about a negative event, focus your attention on how
difficult situations could be resolved and think how you would successfully deal with the
problem.
Keep Things in Perspective
!ry writing a list of all the things that you are currently worried about, then e"amine how much
they really effect your life. #re you worrying about important things in life or merely side issues$
If your worries are insignificant issues then give them the importance they deserve.% If you don&t
get a certain parking space in the morning it is not the end of the world. If a child forgets to turn a
light out, it is not a big deal. 'on&t be overwhelmed by small things try to see the bigger
picture.
Control Your Thoughts
!he key to reducing an"iety and worry is learning the ability to control your thoughts. (ometimes
we feel powerless over our own thoughts; it is as if we are slave to them. Whatever thoughts may
come we identify with them and accept them as true. )owever, this is a big mistake. Our own
thoughts are often wrong. #lso we do have the ability to decide which thoughts to pursue and
which thoughts to re*ect; if we are determined we can prevent thoughts taking hold and throw
them out of our mind. If we give importance to controlling our own mind we will be less sub*ect
to pursuing endless worries and an"ieties.
Dont Be Vain
It might be harsh, but alas true, that we often worry about what people think of us. We worry
endlessly that we might not meet society&s e"pectations; we worry about whether people will like
us. With this mental outlook we start to give too much importance to our ego; it means we are
constantly looking for appreciation and the admiration of others. If we don&t get this appreciation,
we start to worry that we are no good. If we can develop greater self confidence and inner poise,
then we will not worry about what others believe or think.
We need to give less importance to the opinions of the world. +ven if we get criticized, we should
not worry because we should not identify our self worth with the opinions of others. !his is not
easy to do overnight, but, if we can detach ourselves from *udgements of others we will gain
greater inner peace and avoid worrying over the relatively insignificance of people&s *udgements.
Analyze The
#nother approach to dealing with worries is to carefully analyze whether they are actually
*ustified. #sk yourself why am I worrying about this$ ,ould I be wrong$ (uppose you are
worrying about someone&s reaction to what you did at work; it is likely that you are imagining the
worse and assigning false motives to the other person. If nothing else you can sow a seed of doubt
in the reason for your an"iety. -efore, you felt it was .//0 certain to occur, but, on reflection
you have to admit it is perhaps only 1/0 true. -y analyzing and stepping back from the problem
you can evaluate it&s importance and this is an effective way to diminish the power of our worries.
!here are always things to worry about, but, as it has often been said, worrying is not going to
help. +ither take practical steps to deal with the problem or don&t waste your time worrying about
unnecessary things. If you keep ignoring worries, eventually they will go away. !he key is to live
in the present moment; when we worry we are thinking of the future or past and this prevents us
from en*oying the present moment. !o reduce worries and an"ieties is not to ignore problems it
means we work toward solutions rather than *ust thinking of bad outcomes.
!e*van 2ettinger is an economics teacher in O"ford and en*oys writing on issues of self
improvement. )e writes for a blog called (ri ,hinmoy Inspiration. If you en*oyed this article, you
may also en*oy3 +ffective ways to get out of a 4egative 5indset.