Summary Cap.

4 Chang: Core Interpersonal Qualities

Nicole M. Rivera-Berros
Developing Working Relationships
- The therapist-client relationship is critically important because its what determines the outcome and
success of the therapy.
- The core interpersonal qualities for the development of good, working relationships are:
o Warmth
o Respect
o Empathy
o Genuineness
Core Skills
A. Warmth: Being kind and accepting
- Differs by culture
- Specific to/Influenced by family of origin
- Expressed through:
o Verbal Cues: Interest, Acceptance, Concern
o Nonverbally: Smiling, Facial Expressions, Attentiveness, Tone of Voice
Open + Inclusive
Closed + Exclusive
B. Empathy: Willingness & Flexibility to put yourself in anothers reality. Its to understand the other
persons assumptions, beliefs, and worldviews.
- Allows us to connect to people with different backgrounds and experiences
- Things to look out for:
o Not adopting the clients feelings as your own
o Not confuse Empathy with Pity or Sympathy (Adopt the feelings)
- How to be Empathic:
o Listen attentively to what client says
o Make every effort to comprehend their experience
o Express the understanding of their experience, including positive and negative aspects
o Validate the story/experience/feelings
- Sharpen/Practice Empathy by:
o Reading from different disciplines and places
o Join Social activities/venues and meet different people
o Attend classes that target specific demographics
o Travel and meet locals
o Volunteer in different communities
o Watch movies from different groups of people
C. Respect: Acceptance
- What it means:
o Affirmation & Appreciation
o See good and strength in others
o Notice, acknowledge, and highlight the positive qualities
o Admit mistakes
o Be polite and culture sensitive
- Important not to mix RESPECT with condoning harmful behaviors: Be very positive but not about bad
stuff duh!
- Dont be the expert of everything, client is expert on own life.
D. Genuineness: Being authentic
- Characteristics: Sincere, Real, Humaneness, Uniqueness
- Examples of inauthentic:
o Always have to be right
o Not accept mistakes
o Stiff, distant, phony
- Clients wont want to accept their own errors when working with an inauthentic therapist
Common Mistakes
- Self-Conscience: How one responds and differentiates between whats personal and professional
- The goal of the therapist is to help/assist the client in the decision making process. The therapist is a
FACILITATOR not a dictator of what the client should do or behave like
A. Offering Advice
- Therapist shouldnt advise anything until having a complete picture of what the client feels and wants
to achieve
- Could be perceived as not respecting the strengths and capacity of the client.
- Reinforces the idea that the therapist is above the client and discourages willpower/critical thinking of
client
B. Reassurance
- Being reassuring is not usually based in reality
- The purpose of reassurance is to reduce pain when pain could help overcome it (with help of therapist)
- Could be interpreted as the no validation and minimization of the clients feelings and experience
C. Offering Excuses
- Discourages clients to consider ways to improve or change their situation
- The practitioner should help set goals, not excuses
D. Asking Leading Questions
- Its similar to giving unwanted advice
- Psychologists have to help clients figure out how to achieve their goals encouraging them to explore
and feel
E. Dominating through teaching
- When informing in a dominating or pushy way may lead clients to think there is just one right way to
resolve a given experience. It could discourage them to think critically.
F. Labeling
- Its a sophisticated way to judge and criticize a client
- It limits the therapists view on the clients ability.
- Describes an aspect, not the whole
G. Interrogating
- Asking question after question may be intimidating and feel like an interrogation
- Does not promote openness