Communication Catch-22

Posted by Yvette Bethel at 9/28/2009 7:41 AM

Categories: uncategorized

An old friend approached me last week and told me this story. An employee approached him to speak to an
executive about a matter because the employee wasn’t comfortable speaking to the executive directly. In the spirit
of helping a fellow co-worker, my friend approached the executive on behalf of the employee and the executive was
subsequently preoccupied with why the employee didn’t approach her directly instead of focusing on resolving the
employee’s concern.

So my friend asked me, what do you do in a situation like this? This option was the most palatable to the employee
because if the employee decided to do nothing, the issue would remain unresolved. Alternatively, the employee
perceived high risk in approaching the executive directly, and lower risk in having someone represent the situation to
the executive on her behalf and it still backfired.

A Catch-22 is described as, “A contradictory or self defeating course of action or a tricky or disadvantageous
condition.” (Farlex) Based on the information given to me by my friend, the employee appears to be in a Catch-22
where both inaction and attempts at resolution lead to perceived undesirable results. In environments like this, the
end result is that the majority of employees collectively refrain from speaking up because they prefer to experience a
proliferation of dysfunction collectively instead of being singled out and targeted as the enemy because they spoke
up.

I received a similar call this week from a fellow consultant in Canada. She said that she had a large client with whom
she had a long standing, positive relationship who wanted her to perform a certain task. The task was something she
was not willing to do and when she refused, her reputation was attacked and all her contracts within the organization
were terminated. She paid the price for speaking up.

In unhealthy work environments, speaking up may be viewed as harmful to career progression. In these types of
environments, the status quo is maintained at all costs and people in positions of authority cover up the issues,
distorting the truth through self deception, minimization and other types of camouflage techniques. In fact, entire
systems of reward like promotion and bonuses perpetuate this type of censorship and suppression.

So what do you do if you are caught in a Communication Catch-22? As I mentioned previously, based on anecdotal
evidence, the vast majority decide to say nothing and just “kiss until they can kick”. I witness this approach a whole
lot, but years later I often meet the same people in the same company, sometimes in the same position saying the
same thing and praying for early retirement. So here are four tips to help you to be proactive.

Strategize
In the first example, the employee deployed a strategy to ask someone to represent his case because he felt the
other person could influence a desired outcome and lower his exposure to the risk of victimisation. This is a
reasonable strategy in theory but always remember to factor in as many variables as possible. Give some thought
to more of the dynamics of the situation which include:
1. The executive’s desire to help vs their need to cover up and perpetuate the system of dysfunction. This is
sometimes hard to uncover because some of us expect executives to be interested in the well being of employees.
2. The executive’s value system (does the executive value being liked, approachable and right over being challenged
respectfully). In making this evaluation, the employee should take a look at what motivates the executive to further
mitigate risk.
3. Is there another way to get the message across other without using a direct approach.
4. Who is the right messenger?
5. Is there a bias against you?

Work Together
At work we learn that we have to “look out for number one” because no-one can be trusted. One way to start
changing the entire system of support for dysfunction (Silence is part of the support system) is to see yourself as part
of a whole and not a single unit constantly in self preservation mode. While self preservation may be appropriate,
think about what you can do to support your co-workers.
Connect More Effectively
Hone your communication skills so that you don’t inadvertently put the listener on the defensive. You have no control
over someone else’s ego but you do have control over the verbal and non-verbal signals you transmit. Improving
your communication arsenal by improving your listening skills, emotional intelligence, authenticity, negotiation skills
and optimism can help you to connect at a deeper level and mitigate some of the risks of communication. Authentic
connection can lead to building healthy, trust based work relationships that can give you the leverage you need to
speak up with lower threat of victimization.

Create or Update Your Career Plan

Everything starts with you, so think about a proactive approach designed to help you develop yourself and start on a
path to finding or creating the right career and right working environment. This may mean you will take the risk and
say things that may not be palatable or you may decide to seek another work environment. It is important to make a
decision regarding whether you will stay or go and whatever the decision, create your plan. “Knee jerk” responses
are not optimal because they don’t equip you with the skills you need to successfully navigate similar situations in the
future and they can create irreparable damage.

Ideally, the vision for and commitment to driving positive cultural change should start at the top of the organization
and cascade throughout. If you are not being supported by an executive vision for positive change, you can only do
what is within your control. Each of the tips will take time, commitment, wisdom and creativity and they are centered
on what you can do to improve your circumstances.

Yvette Bethel is CEO of Organizational Soul, an HR Consulting and Leadership Development company. If you are interested in exploring
how you can create higher performing team leaders, you contact her at www.orgsoul.com or at info@orgsul.com .