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VOLUME THREE

I S S U E 38
09. 18.14
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Mor e Republ i c an Hi j i nks | The Leat her man | Gol f Cour s e Wat er i ng Rant
VOLUME THREE
I S S U E 38
09. 18.14
PL US: 7 DAY NEW BRAUNF EL S L I VE MUSI C GUI DE PL US: 7 DAY NEW BRAUNF EL S L I VE MUSI C GUI DE
W
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!

We got ourselves
a dog park! Page 13
We got ourselves
a dog park! Page 13
WEEK TWO RESULTS: PAGE 14!
PRICKLY PEAR
LOUNGE
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2 AD SALES 830.358.2493
table of contents
8
Citizen
Soundcheck
The ONLY gui de of i t s ki nd
for t he NB/SM Met ropl ex!
15
12
14
Line Crushers
Our NFL handi cappi ng
cont est i s back for 2014!
1st Word
There's somet hi ng nobody's
consi deri ng when i t comes t o
t hi s whol e Kri st en Hoyt deal .
3
Feature Story
Al "Leat herman" Ludwi g
6
Last Word
Col by t hrows down on I SI S.
St i l l has head as of press t i me.
11
Ombudsman
Got a probl em? You wi l l .
13
Around & About
Dog park!
Sports
The Fi rst Annual Texas
Nat i onal Cannonbal l
Champi onshi ps
4
Sound Out of Town
Because Aust i n, San Marcos and
San Ant oni o occasi onal l y have
l i ve musi c t oo.
10
The County s
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Look Mommy! Daddys i n t he paper!
Ask a Mexican
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2 AD SALES 830.358.2493 2 AD SALES 830.358.2493 TXCITIZEN.COM 3
Party Games
Last week, District Clerk
almost-elect Kristen Hoyt was
found ineligible to win the
race for the aforementioned
offce, as she did not meet the
residency requirement set forth by the
Great State of Texas at the time she fled for
candidacy. Now Bob Hieronymus, the up-
until-this-week Comal County GOP chair,
has surrendered his post over his failure to
notice that Hoyt clearly stated that she had
lived in Texas for eight months, rather than
the requisite at-least-12, on her paperwork.
After the lashing Hieronymus endured at
our hands after the bungling of the Precinct
Four primaries, we cant blame him for stepping
down. We are disappointed though, because
we had all kinds of arguments calling for his
resignation at the ready.
Now that Hieronymus is out of the picture,
heres what weve got left:
Weve got Hoyt, who still wants to be
District Clerk, and who in turn has attorney
Tom Hancock, who is making the argument
we hear so much in this town, namely that
laws dont matter as long as you can get a
win at the ballot box. He didnt return our
call, but he did tell the Houston-owned Herald-
Zeitung that, She won fair and square in a
primary there. From my understanding, she
beat her opponent like a drum. Voters spoke
very loudly, and we would like their voices
to be heard. Well, technically, the election
wasnt fair-and-square, seeing as the voters
assumed she was eligible to run. That kinda
that kinda makes a difference. But Im only one
man. Im just hoping Jim Crow doesnt make a
reappearance based on Hancocks logic.
With chops like that, Hancock,
who operates out of Waco,
might be making a run for the
New Braunfels City Attorney
gig. Waco sucks, after all. Its
a living Hell that neither you nor
I could tolerate life in for any length
of time, and frankly I cant fault the guy for
trading his dignity for a ticket out.
Then weve got Cherie Perez. She wanted
to be District Clerk, and presumably still does.
The current District Clerk, Kathy Faulkner,
wanted Perez to be District Clerk, and was fairly-
to-extremely miffed when Hoyt won the election.
After all, Hoyts only 25 years old and works for
Chic-fl-A, whereas Perez is, well, older than 25
and works in the District Clerks offce.
(The election seemed like a slam-dunk
for Perez, but Hoyts husband is tight with the
Valentine/Krueger Kitchen Cabinet, and if the
Cabinet couldnt get Kathleen Krueger elected
to Commissioners Court, then by gum they
were sure as heck going to win the highly
coveted District Clerk seat. Which they did.
With an ineligible candidate. Huzzah.)
Weve also got a newcomer to the race in
Ren Brimmage, who works as a receptionist
over at County Court at Law. Shes entering
the fray as a write-in candidate, because, as
she told the HZ, she prayed about it, and then
felt called to get into the race. We can only
presume that called means Brimmage believes
that God himself has instructed her to run, which
is not an uncommon thing for God to do.
Continued on page 5.
MIKE
REYNOLDS
WITH
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Continued from page 3.
If memory serves, He gave the same orders
to both George W Bush and the super-hot Michele
Bachmann in their respective Presidential races,
which makes Him one for two in recent national
elections, assuming He actually wanted them to
win and not just run to make a point. In any case,
I dont think any of us are in a position to argue
with Brimmage. I digress the point is that Hoyt
will stay on the ballot but cant win. Brimmage
can win, but only if she gets more votes than
Hoyt. If Hoyt gets more votes, then we have to
consider Commissioners Court.
Per Local Government Code, Title 3,
Subtitle B, Chapter 87, Subchapter D,
Section 87.041: The commissioners court
of a county may fll a vacancy in the offce
of: county judge; county clerk; district and
county clerk; sheriff; county attorney; county
treasurer; county surveyor; inspector of
hides and animals; county tax assessor-
collector; justice of the peace; or constable.
(Emphasis ours.) Did you even know there
was a job inspecting animal hides? I did not.
Anyway, according to that, it looks like
Commissioners Court can just pick out the
next District Clerk willy-nilly, should Brimmage
not win the general election. OR CAN THEY?
Because according to the Texas Government
Code, Chapter 51, Subchapter D: If a
vacancy occurs in the offce of district clerk, the
vacancy shall be flled by the district judge of
the county. (Emphasis ours.)
Oh SNAP. The local code says the
Commissioners MAY fll the vacancy, but the
state code says the District Judge SHALL fll
it. Now you and I know that may means
can, and that shall means must, and if
push comes to shove Im going to go predict
a judge makes the call. However, if this were
happening at City Hall, where shall means
if we feel like it, (see First Word, May 1,
2014 at txcitizen.com), it would be a whole
different ballgame. Entirely. Altogether.
On Sunday, September 16, the Prickly Pear Lounge hosted the First Annual
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Ramada Inn! The fully-clothed Michaelangelo Floiran took home the title
and the $50 grand prize for his committed performance.
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4 AD SALES 830.358.2493 TXCITIZEN.COM 5
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Continued from page 3.
If memory serves, He gave the same orders
to both George W Bush and the super-hot Michele
Bachmann in their respective Presidential races,
which makes Him one for two in recent national
elections, assuming He actually wanted them to
win and not just run to make a point. In any case,
I dont think any of us are in a position to argue
with Brimmage. I digress the point is that Hoyt
will stay on the ballot but cant win. Brimmage
can win, but only if she gets more votes than
Hoyt. If Hoyt gets more votes, then we have to
consider Commissioners Court.
Per Local Government Code, Title 3,
Subtitle B, Chapter 87, Subchapter D,
Section 87.041: The commissioners court
of a county may fll a vacancy in the offce
of: county judge; county clerk; district and
county clerk; sheriff; county attorney; county
treasurer; county surveyor; inspector of
hides and animals; county tax assessor-
collector; justice of the peace; or constable.
(Emphasis ours.) Did you even know there
was a job inspecting animal hides? I did not.
Anyway, according to that, it looks like
Commissioners Court can just pick out the
next District Clerk willy-nilly, should Brimmage
not win the general election. OR CAN THEY?
Because according to the Texas Government
Code, Chapter 51, Subchapter D: If a
vacancy occurs in the offce of district clerk, the
vacancy shall be flled by the district judge of
the county. (Emphasis ours.)
Oh SNAP. The local code says the
Commissioners MAY fll the vacancy, but the
state code says the District Judge SHALL fll
it. Now you and I know that may means
can, and that shall means must, and if
push comes to shove Im going to go predict
a judge makes the call. However, if this were
happening at City Hall, where shall means
if we feel like it, (see First Word, May 1,
2014 at txcitizen.com), it would be a whole
different ballgame. Entirely. Altogether.
Anyway, the election is neigh. Should
Brimmage win, and barring some crazy
Texas legal twist, shell take the job. But
if Hoyt wins yes, if Hoyt wins, then
well have ourselves a time. First the
Commissioners and the Court will have
to figure out who gets to take the heat
for appointing someone to the job. Then,
whoever ends up holding the short straw
will have to name somebody to the post.
Everyone has been assuming that person
will be Cherie Perez. What everyone has
failed to factor in is that Hoyt has now been
a resident of Texas for over 12 months,
and she could just as well be appointed
to the gig, election eligibility be damned.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh man, theres
going to be weeping and gnashing of teeth
over this one for years to come. All because
Bob Hieronymus didnt realize eight months
are fewer than 12. He is so done.
Despite her age and lack of experience, I
will concede that Hoyt makes the cutest little 8s.
\m/
Mike Reynolds
Publisher/Editor-in-Chief
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TEXT TXC
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Me s s a g e & Da t a Ra t e s Ma y Ap p l y
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6 AD SALES 830.358.2493 TXCITIZEN.COM 7
Lets see if we can wake up Seguin Avenue,
Al Ludwig said as we headed outside his
downtown leather store.
One the sidewalk, Al took a few swings
with a beautiful, six foot long black leather
whip, then made three large cracks that
echoed downtown.
The pops were so loud I was certain that
any livestock anywhere near New Braunfels
were looking nervous.
In a fashion, Ludwigs Leather starts
with whips.
Al has been crafting leather since he
was in junior high school. I got interested in
plaiting and braiding, making whips, he said.
Whips are now a mainstay for Ludwigs
Leather. Now, Ive got two crews making
whips for me, Al said. Ive actually made
a business out of making whips. Every single
one is handmade.
Als family has been in the leather industry
since the 1930s, and his store is an extension
of a tradition that began by happenstance.
My grandfather was actually executor
of an estate, Al said. They had a tannery
that burned down during the Depression. The
people who lost their jobs in that fre asked
him to build another tannery and he did, just
to provide some jobs. Dad, who had a degree
in chemical engineering, became a leather
chemist, a tanner.
Al himself took a long journey back to
the leather industry after working as a bank
examiner for the FDIC and a Xerox salesman,
as well as doing a stint in the Army. Eventually,
he moved back to New Braunfels and opened
his store in 2009.
Now, Ludwigs Leather is run out of the
same building his family ran New Braunfels
Leather Company since 1938.
There is still an emphasis on craftsmanship.
Working with leather requires more than skill,
it requires artistry.
Whips, for example, are not easy to make
because there are several layers of tight braiding,
which must taper to an end and remain fexible.
But Al doesnt stop there. Lead shot is placed
inside the whips, which, Al said really adds
to the whip dynamics. He also places vinyl-
coated cable inside the whips. There are about
four different materials in there, he said.
The whip is also affected by the type of
leather used to make it. Al said he prefers to
use kangaroo.
We make a lot of whips out of kangaroo,
he said. Its unsurpassed and stronger than
cowhide for the thickness.
Ludwigs also provide a variety of lengths,
handles and colors for their whips, depending
on the need. Some are bought for fun, some
for decoration others are for real ranch work.
Ranchers like to use the vinyl-coated ones
because if they get dirt or mud on them, they
can just wash them off, he said. Ranchers
down south also like the brightly colored ones
so, if they happen to drop their whip, they can
fnd it easier. A brown whip can look like a
snake when its in the brush.
The leather store owner sells his whips all
over the country. We actually sell a lot of dog-
racing whips to New York City, he laughs. I
have no idea why.
But there is a great deal more to
Ludwigs than just whips. With the addition
of craftsman John Reed, the store now has a
frst-rate saddle maker.
We hadnt been doing any saddle work
in here and now, with Reed, weve got all the
equipment and know-how, Al said. He noted
that, recently, someone brought in 40 saddles
for repair and cleaning because they didnt
have anywhere else they could go.
Im like a duck in water here, Reed
said. I am a saddle maker and I get to be a
saddle maker. Being at Ludwigs, I get to stay
true to my craft and be a real craftsman.
Reeds ability is perfectly displayed with
what he calls his 1993, a masterpiece of
saddle making. The saddle has a classic
design and is an exquisite example of Reeds
artistry. The saddle is for sale at Ludwigs for
$3,000 and would be a great addition for
any serious rider.
Like his boss, Reed, who is an independent
contractor with the store, has a long history
with leatherworking. There is nothing in the
leather industry I havent done, he said. The
craftsman also makes exceptional guitar straps.
The addition of Billy Dodson, who is also an
independent contractor, has been another coup
for Ludwigs. Billy came to leather via his work
as a silversmith and uses his silver engraving
skills for buckles, knives, leather goods, even
scrimshaw, and much more besides.
Billys really talented and has transferred
those skills to leatherwork, Al said. Hes
really upped the skill level here.
Ive been engraving for several years,
Billy said. I like to stay old school, using
hammer and chisel. I can put three or four layers
in there and really get some good detail.
The engraver said he really enjoys the new
turn his craft has taken in the short time he has
worked at Ludwigs. Ive come a long way in
the past year and Im really looking forward to
seeing where Ill be a year from now, he said.
Besides Reed and Billy, the small but busy
store has cadre of devoted workers. Helen
Oppelt has worked for the Ludwigs for more
than 20 years. Helen jokes that her main job
is to take care of everyones problems. Al
says that with Helen, he knows he can leave
the store in her hands and still sleep at night.
One of the keys to running a successful
business is to respond early to a growing
demand, and Ludwigs has been able to do
just that by fulflling the needs of the many
bikers that pass through New Braunfels. And
Lord knows how bikers love their leather.
One successful niche for the company has
been sewing patches on bikers leather jackets,
which is done by Als wife, Lou Ludwig, who
uses a special machine for that job. There
has been a very big need for someone to sew
patches onto leather jackets, she said.
The store also makes get-back whips for
motorcycles, which trail off the handlebars. Al
said previous get-back whips were hard and
would scratch the paint, so he responded by
making them out of braided leather, which is
softer and doesnt mar the paint on those very
expensive Harleys. Al said the whips have
become big sellers for the store and Ludwigs
can make them in a variety of colors.
And Ludwigs Leather provides an
enormous variety for anyones leather
needs (but nothing creepy). Als store can
make wallets, belts, cell phone cases, knife
scabbards, bracelets, and a variety of other
things that are too numerous to mention.
Possibly their biggest selling items
are holsters.
We custom make them, Al said.
Someone will bring their pistols in and we
can have their holster by the next day.
If you have something you want specially
made, repaired or engraved, Al and team will
be happy to work with you.
Or, hell, just visit the shop, look around
and enjoy the phenomenal aroma.
The Leatherman
TXCITIZEN.COM 7
Est. 1986
1390 McQueeney Rd, New Braunfels
830-625-0045 or wateringholesaloon.com
Become a friend @ facebook.com/theholenb
H2O Pong Tournaments @ 7
Each 1st & 3rd Sunday of the Month
Prizes & Happy Hour ALL Day!
MONDAYS: Free Darts ALL Day
TUESDAYS: Live Music @ 8:30
WEDNESDAYS: Ladies Night @ 7
Free Jukebox & Pool
$2.50 Beer / $3 Shots
THURSDAYS: Karaoke @ 8:30
hosted by THAT KARAOKE CHICK
FRIDAYS: DJ DANCE @ 8
SATURDAYS: DJ DANCE @ 9
Plenty of Country plus Rock & Top 40s
DANCE!
DANCE!
DANCE!
8 AD SALES 830.358.2493
Thu 9.18
Adobe Verde
Megan Ford
6pm
Freiheit Country Store
David Selbo
7pm
Oma Gruenes Secret Garten
Jam Night
6pm
Phoenix Saloon
Shand Walton & Manzy Lowry
5pm
Rileys Tavern
Big Red Drum Spotlight
9pm
AJs Ale House
Rock & Roll Sing Along Piano Bar Show
9pm
Billys Ice House
Bleu Edmondson
w/ Chance Anderson
8pm
Gruene Hall
Aaron Einhouse
6pm
The Pour Haus
Brent Michael Wood
8pm
Fri 9.19
Adobe Verde
Jonathan Garcia
6:30pm
Black Whale Pub
TBA
9pm
Oma Gruenes Secret Garten
The Fillmore Experience
6pm
Phoenix Saloon
Jade Marie Patek
5pm
The Nightowls
9pm
Rileys Tavern
Glen Jones
5pm
Moving Blues
9pm
AJs Ale House
Rock & Roll Sing Along Piano Bar Show
9pm
Alpine Haus Restaurant
Off the Grid Polka Band
6pm
Billys Ice House
The Fearsome Foursome
8pm
Gruene Hall
The Whiskey Sisters
8pm
The Pour Haus
Scott Wiggins
8:30pm
River Road Ice House
Austin Gilliam
7pm
Vineyard at Gruene
Shawn Hart
7pm
Vino en Verde
KennCentric
8:30pm
Sat 9.20
Adobe Verde
JJ Garrett Band
6:30pm
The Happy Cow
Ryan Mars
8pm
Oma Gruenes Secret Garten
The Jamie Krueger Group
1pm
The Adam Johnson Band
6pm
Phoenix Saloon
Matt Begley & Bitter Whiskey
w/ Madeline Jennings
9pm
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8 AD SALES 830.358.2493 TXCITIZEN.COM 9
Rileys Tavern
Billy Dee Band
9pm
AJs Ale House
Rock & Roll Sing Along Piano Bar Show
9pm
Billys Ice House
Anthony Terry
w/ The No Refund Band
9pm
Gruene Hall
Bo Phillips
1pm
Kelly Willis & Bruce Robison
w/ Robyn Ludwick
8pm, $20
NB Farm to Market
Ashlee Rose
9:30am
The Pour Haus
Dirty White Horse
9:30pm
River Road Ice House
Marcus & the Washboard Machine
8pm
Vino en Verde
D Rock & J Scott
9pm
Sun 9.21
Adobe Verde
TBA
6pm
The Happy Cow
T-Bone & the Bluetones
4pm
Oma Gruenes Secret Garten
The Blues Buzzards
2:30pm
Phoenix Saloon
Lucas Taylor
3pm
True Audio Outland
7pm
Billys Ice House
Dan Adams
8pm
Geronimo VFW #8456
Czechaholics
3pm
Gruene Hall
Garrett Lebeau
12:30pm
Milkdrive
5pm
The Pour Haus
Believing for Bryleigh
3pm
Mon 9.22
Rileys Tavern
Songwriter Showcase
w/ John Whipple
8pm
Billys Ice House
Joe Teichman
8pm
Gruene Hall
Bo Porter
6pm
The Pour Haus
Paul Eldrige
8pm
River Road Ice House
Walt Wilkins
8pm
Tues 9.23
Watering Hole Saloon
Empty Handed Vagabonds
8:30pm
Billys Ice House
Austin Gilliam
8pm
Gruene Hall
Sarah Pierce & Friends
6pm
The Pour Haus
Open Mic w/ Jon Magill
8pm
River Road Ice House
Scott Morgan
8pm
Wed 9.24
Phoenix Saloon
Aaron McDonnell
8pm
Rileys Tavern
TBA
9pm
Billys Ice House
Aaron Stephens
8pm
Gruene Hall
The Georges
6pm
The Pour Haus
Myles Smith
8pm
Vineyard at Gruene
Zack Walther
6pm
SOUNDCHECK BROUGHT T O YOU BY:
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Single Origin Espresso and Brews
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Collectibles
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910 Gruene Rd. #3
830.387.4378
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Fri 9.19
Cheatham Street Warehouse
Foscoe Jones & the Distractions
w/ Samuel Holden
9pm
The Continental Club
Club Lineup:
The Blues Specialists, 6:30pm
JDub & the Tease
w/ Tameca Jones
10pm, $10
Gallery Lineup:
Robert Kraft Trio, 8:30pm
Mike Flanigin Trio, 10:30pm, $5
Cowboys Dancehall
Casey Donahew Band
7pm, 21+ $18, 18+ $20
Floores Country Store
Kevin Fowler
w/ Cody Johnson, Curtis Grimes
8pm, 18+ $15-$20
Luckenbach Dance Hall
Ben Beckendorf
4pm
Tessy Lou & the Shotgun Stars
8pm
Red Eyed Fly
The Pale Blue Dot, Motion Planet,
Lost in a World of Color, Eleanor & the
Atlantic
8pm, Outside
Sams Burger Joint
Cody Canada & the Departed
8pm, $17-$80
Sat 9.20
Cheatham Street Warehouse
Thieving Birds
w/ Pawn Shop Gold
9pm
The Continental Club
Club Lineup:
Redd Volkaert, 3:30pm
Invincible Czars
w/ Churchwood
10pm, $10
Gallery Lineup:
Hillary York, 8:30pm
Mike Flanigin Trio, 10:30pm, $5
Floores Country Store
The Bellamy Brothers
w/ Buster Jiggs
8pm, 18+ $20-$25
Luckenbach Dance Hall
blacktopGypsy
1pm
Max Stalling
9pm, $15
Red Eyed Fly
Melds, American Standard
9pm, Inside
Freerunner, Dead Random, The Cuckoos,
Black Star Sunset, Zach Willard Band
8:30pm, Outside
R & J Music Pavillion
Jerry De Leon
9pm
Sams Burger Joint
Carolyn Wonderland
8pm, $15-$60
Stubbs BBQ
Conor Oberst
w/ Jonathan Wilson
7pm, Outside, $33-$130
Moonlight Gram
10:30pm, Inside, $5
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Private Parties- Catering
Wedding Facilities Available
Never a Cover!
Kid & Pet Friendly!
1263 Gruene Road 830.625.1045
Call for Hours!
omalovesyou.com
Special Events Monthly
Private Parties- Catering
Wedding Facilities Available
Never a Cover!
Kid & Pet Friendly!
1263 Gruene Road 830.625.1045
Call for Hours!
omalovesyou.com
SEPT 18
@ 6 JAM NIGHT
SEPT 19
@ 6:30 THE FILLMORE EXPERIENCE
SEPT 20
@ 1 THE JAMIE KRUEGER GROUP
@ 6 THE ADAM JOHNSON BAND
SEPT 21
@ 2:30 THE BLUES BUZZARDS
SEPT 25
@ 6 PEPPER'S BLUES
Upcoming Events:
BEST
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double winner!
Best Beer Bar
& Best Bartenders
Freiheit Country Store
Karaoke
Friday Nights, 8pm
Happy Cow
Karaoke
Thursdays Nights
Koozies Icehouse
DJ
Thursday, Friday, Saturday
Old Ice House
Karaoke
Thursdays, Sundays
DJ
Wednesdays, Fridays, Saturdays
Phoenix Saloon
Karaoke
Thursday Nights
Prickly Pear Lounge
Karaoke
Thursdays, Saturdays
DJ KC
Fridays
The Watering Hole Saloon
Karaoke
Thursdays
DJ
Fridays, Saturdays
diversions
10 AD SALES 830.358.2493 TXCITIZEN.COM 11
Why is the city pumping thousands
of gallons of spring water from our wells
to water the golf course. Te focus should
be on saving the federal protected
species that live in the springs. Not
watering the grass. Te city is pumping
water from that spring to water the grass
and to fx the new retaining wall in the
park. Tey are a bunch of dumb asses.
I think that most of the local elected
people have there own interests and not
for the locals!
M.A. Edwards

Dear M.A.:
Your sentiment is valid, but some
clarifcation is needed.
The water used for the golf course doesnt
come from the springs, but from the Comal
River itself. However, the amount of water
used is limited to 300 acre-feet per year. This
was the deal worked out between the City
and the oxymoronic Texas Commission for
Environmental Quality.
An acre-foot of water comes to about
326,000 gallons. So, 300 acre-feet-per-year
is around 98 million gallons.
(The course is only watered during
the evening, which does save water. Any
watering done during the day is for either line
testing or chasing amorous young couples
from the fairways.)
To give you an idea of how much water
that actually is:
Ninety-eight million gallons of water
comes to more than 1,600 gallons per person
in greater New Braunfels.
Ninety-eight million gallons of water
would douse out the sun, plunging our world
into complete darkness.
Ninety-eight million gallons is enough
water to build a massive pool, where you
could raise dolphins. You could then teach
those dolphins to understand human language,
higher mathematics and philosophy. Then,
after three generations, the dolphins learn to
speak several languages and, with their larger
brains, develop new types of mathematics. It
took you years of painstaking work, but thats
OK. The results were worth it. Soon, however,
the dolphins begin to think they are better than
you, better than all of us. They start talking
disparagingly about humans, making us feel
bad about ourselves. Next thing we know,
were swimming through hoops for spare ribs.
Thanks New Braunfels. Thanks TCEQ. I
hope youre satisfed.
Just so you understand, I am not against
golf. I once actually considered becoming a
professional golfer, until I realized that I was
dreadful at the game. However, I was the
only golfer amongst my friends who could
slice the ball so severely, it would return to
where I was standing.
I also got tired of wading through New
Braunfels course.
However, there are many who love golf
and fnd great enjoyment and peace on the
course. There are others, though, who are one
bad putt away from doing hard time.
As well, golf is very important for the
female of our species. The game allows
women to get their husbands out of the house
so the wives can have affairs.
The water problem isnt necessarily the
fault of the golf course. The amount used, while
massive, would have been less of a problem
if San Antonio raiders and New Braunfels
traitors hadnt given stunningly large water
rights to our massive neighbor to the south,
which stupidly built over its Edwards Aquifer
recharge zones. And, lets not forget, San
Antonio has several more golf courses than we
do and those babies are thirsty.
Two solutions are possible here so that
New Braunfels can keep its golf course pretty
and green without killing the rest of us:
First, fnd a way out this horrible Water-
Satan deal with San Antonio so we can keep
the Comal fowing for ourselves.
Second, lets pump water from the Comal
after it runs through town. The pumps could
be placed after the rivers confuence with the
Guadalupe, just this side of our city limits.
This way, we can reclaim our water before
it gets to the Riverbend/Lake Dunlap mixed-
used development area.
Liebe, Karl
Got a concern? Opa Karl Esel is here to help, or
at the very least, comisserate. Send your rants to
opakarl@txcitizen.com.
with OPA Karl Esel
Executive Offce
Space Available!
Starting at $350/mo.
includes utilities,
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N
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Call or stop by!
830-620-7653
1111 N Walnut Ave
We penetrate 10,000 of these:
52 TIMEs a year
THEY LIKE WHAT THEY SEE. MAKE SURE THEY SEE YOU.
ADVERTISE HERE 830.358.2493
12 AD SALES 830.358.2493 TXCITIZEN.COM 13
By Gustavo Arellano
Dear Mexican: A very close friend
of mine is supposed to become a U.S.
citizen. He was brought here by his
parents when he was nine and has
been illegal since then. When the laws
changed, he went through a lot of
hoops and it really didnt look good
for a long whileespecially since he
was 30 already by the time the law was
truly enacted. But somehow, through
petitions and an appeal, he somehow
has been told he will become a U.S.
citizen. Tat being said, he is still waiting
for the day, still working in a dodgy
manner, still not drivinghis American
wife always drives.
Theres a pallor of emasculation
about not being a citizen. He feels
second-ratesomething I know not
because he tells us, but because his
wife and I are very close. He takes
out his anger and resentment on his
wife and marriage and its caused
immense stress. Are there counselors
specifically for people who are dealing
with the elongation and difficulty
of becoming legal? Is that a strange
question? I love this guy so much
hes such a close friend to our family.
Ive never met a harder worker, a
more curious soul. This scenario while
common, is so unfair it breaks my
heart that he has to experience this
and has for really years. Any advice
would be so greatly appreciated.
Good Gabacha Friend
Dear Gabacha: There are many
support networks for undocumented folks,
whether the younger DREAMer or people
who just missed the cutoff point for Deferred
Action for Childhood Arrivals (DACA), the
Obama administration memorandum that
effectively put millions of people like your
friend in a waiting game. And now with
Obummer stating theres no chance of any
immigration reform until after the November
elections, your friend and so many others
will continue to wait in frustrationbut tell
your amigo he should feel no shame, and
to keep the faith.
Then again, who am I to say anything?
The Mexican was born in this countryit
was my papi who came in the trunk of
a Chevyso maybe my privilege makes
me wear rose-colored mad-doggers. So
have him check out dreamersadrift.com,
where my former producer, renowned
artist Julio Salgado, and others tackle
on the problem of what it means to grow
up in this country without papers and a
government de puros pendejos.
Dear Mexican: So I went to New
York the other day and we went to this
neighborhood that was Dominican.
I didnt know what that meant but
it just looked like a normal black
neighborhood. Ten I notice they were
all speaking Mexican. Is a Dominican
just a fancy word for a black Mexican?
Why are they so good at baseball?
Confused in Utah
Dear Gabacho: This is Ask a
Mexican!, not Ask a Tguere!, so I really
cant help you much here. The only facts I
can offer are that a 2008 City University
of New York study projected Mexicans
to eclipse Dominicans as the largest
immigrant group in la Gran Manzana in the
next decade, meaning therell be a whole
new group of Latinos to hate us soon. Oh,
and that our mujeres LOVE bachata, the
twang Dominican music form thats the only
genre in the world certified by God as an
automatic choni dropper.
Ask the Mexican at
themexican@askamexican.net,
be his fan on Facebook, follow him on
Twitter @gustavoarellano or follow him
on Instagram @gustavo_arellano!
ASK A MEXICAN!
!
MOST WANTED
$300
REWARD
COMAL COUNTY S
MEDELLIN, JESSE
RODRIGUEZ
Male 507 200 lbs
DOB: 01/01/1976
CHARGE: Possession
of a controlled
substance pg 1 under
1 gram and theft of
property under $1500
with 2 or more
previous convictions
CLOUGH,
RONNIE DEAN
Male 506 182 lbs
DOB: 12/31/1960
CHARGE: Two counts
of failure to appear
aggravated assault with
deadly weapon and two
counts bail jumping/
failure to appear felony
COREY,
KITTY MARIE
Female 506 150 lbs
DOB: 01/21/1982
CHARGE: Motion
to adjudicate/
Possession of a
controlled substance
and bail jumping/ fail
to appear felony
GARRISON,
DONALD WAYNE
Male 511 155 lbs
DOB: 02/27/1949
CHARGE: Failure to
appear/ driving while
intoxicated 3rd or more
and bail jumping/ fail to
appear felony
BAIER,
ADAM SAMUEL
Male 506 150 lbs
DOB: 12/04/1971
CHARGE: Violation of
conditions of probation
possession of a
controlled substance
with intent to deliver
JORDAN,
GABRIEL TERRELL
Male 506 150 lbs
DOB: 01/30/1993
CHARGE: Failure
to appear for
aggravated assault
with deadly weapon
PHILLIPS,
MICHELLE J
Female 502 135 lbs
DOB: 09/27/1982
CHARGE: Failure to
appear possession of
a controlled substance
pg 1 under 1 gram
and bail jumping and
fail to appear
TURNER,
AARON LEE
Male 508 130 lbs
DOB: 7/20/1966
CHARGE: Failure to
appear forgery financial
instrument and three
counts of bail jumping/
fail to appear felony
WALLACE,
KIMBERLIE LOFTUS
Female 509 155 lbs
DOB: 07/11/1975
CHARGE: Failure to
appear- possession of
a controlled substance
pg 1 under 1 gram and
bail jumping/ failure to
appear felony
SHARTZER,
RYAN LLOYD
Male 504 110 lbs
DOB: 06/04/1988
CHARGE: Two counts
of sex offenders duty
to register
The names listed have been released in accordance with the Texas Public Information Act. This is a true
and accurate account as of Monday September 15, 2014 at 10:17 am and may not be current by the time
it is read. Do not try to apprehend anyone. These are listings of criminal warrants with the Comal County
Sheriffs Office and are not indicative of guilt or innocence. Officers are to verify the status of each warrant
prior to making an arrest. Any person is innocent of wrongdoing unless proven guilty in a court of law.
FOR INFORMATION LEADING TO THE ARREST OF COMAL
COUNTYS MOST WANTED. Callers will remain anonymous.
830.620.3400 - 24-Hour
830.620.3411 - Mon-Fri 8am to 5pm
CHACON,
MATTHEW
Male 601 230 lbs
DOB: 10/06/1987
CHARGE: Organized
retail theft over $500
under $1500
TXCITIZEN.COM 13
AROUND& ABOUT
It's been years in the making, and last Saturday, New Braunfels Puppy
Playland fnally opened to the public! Now pack up your pooch and head
out to where Landa Street meets the Loop for some off-leash fun! Woof!
14 TX CITIZEN 14 AD SALES 830.358.2493 TXCITIZEN.COM 15
X
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now with a guaranteed
$500 PAYOUT!
now with a guaranteed
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PRICKLY PEAR
LOUNGE
Bar Results:
First Place Watering Hole 38%
Second Place Happy Cow 37%
Third Place Scores 33%
Fourth Place Buffalo Wings and Rings 31%
Fifth Place Prickly Pear Lounge 20%
Winners:
Scott McCumber 5/5 Perfect, Happy Cow
Audrey Nelson 4/5, Watering Hole
Barry Napp 3/5, Scores
Jeanne Wood 3/5 Buffalo Wings and Rings
Marion Boston 1/5 Prickly Pear
W
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L
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With Kelly Colby
TXCITIZEN.COM 15
On ISIS
I have discussed the libertarian propensity for
non-interventionism before. We have seen this
recently with many libertarians looking timid
with respect to ISIS and their actions in Syria
and Iraq. In some cases, careful adherence to
constitutional principles is mistaken for timidity,
but certainly not in all cases. Many libertarians
are so wedded to the idea of non-interference
with others that they cant envision a situation
where aggressive military action is called for.
This isnt true of all libertarians, of course, and
I would like to point out that some libertarians
are quite willing to consider getting involved in
crises abroad when the circumstances call for it.
The circumstances call for it right now.
Not only should we get involved in the struggle
against ISIS in the Middle East, we should
do whatever is necessary to wipe the group
from the face of the earth, with or without the
help, or even the permission, of the rest of the
world community. Even a war-weary American
public is capable of recognizing the threat this
group poses, and politicians should fnd the
backbone necessary to address the threat
before we face it directly in this country.
A hat trick of beheadings is enough
to convince me that ISIS will do anything
to achieve their goals, and one of those
goals is to attain suffcient power to engage
America directly. To refer to ISIS as a band of
sociopaths is to ignore the danger they pose
and to insult sociopaths everywhere. The ISIS
jihadists are animals, and like a mad dog,
they should be put down posthaste. The only
faw in the metaphor is that I would have a
certain amount of sympathy for a mad dog
and try to put it down humanely. I have no
such concerns for ISIS.
I dont use the term animal lightly. I
know quite well the long and storied tradition
of dehumanizing ones enemies. In most cases,
this tactic has been used as an excuse for
brutality and to whip up fear. Here, though,
the appellation fts. What else but animals do
you call a group who saws the heads from
noncombatants to taunt their enemy? What
else but evil do you call a group who seeks to
bend the whole world to a twisted vision and
cloak that power-mongering in the trappings
of religion? What else but cowards do you
call a group who hides behind women and
children as a matter of course? What else but
barbarians do you call a group that embraces
the worst of our past as the ideal? What else
but sick do you call a group that not only
engages in rape, genocide and plunder, but
seeks to justify and legitimize it?
So, this libertarian, at least, is willing
to stamp out ISIS and anyone who supports
them or lends aid to them in any way like
cockroaches. I imagine that most Americans
feel the same way. I dont dispute the traditional
libertarian stance that our past actions as a
country have largely led to the problems we
face today, but that doesnt mean that ignoring
the problem is any type pf solution. In fact, our
role in the rise of ISIS and other terrorist groups
in the Middle East defnes our responsibility
to put an end to them. ISIS is an equal evil
to the Nazis of World War II and should be
met with the same level of commitment to their
destruction by America. This isnt because ISIS
represents a danger to innocents abroad, but
because they are equally dangerous to our
citizens here at home.
Unfortunately the likelihood of a
committed battle against ISIS is low at the
moment. The President, for all his lofty words,
is not yet convinced that this is a necessary
war (or apparently a war at all). President
Obama has never seen the United States as
a leader in the world, only as a bully. He has
gone out of his way to diminish our role on
the world stage, and hes done a pretty good
job of it so far. At the moment, the President is
more interested in semantics than Semtex. Hes
beginning to feel the anger of the American
people, but still looking for a course of half
measures. I dont know if he believes this will
work or if he even cares.
Likewise, we have a congress that is more
focused on political power and the midterm
elections than they are protecting their
constituents. Few seem to have the courage to
address ISIS, and those that do have ruined
their credibility by continually supporting
adventurism abroad. Their words may fall on
deaf ears, because they have treated every
situation as one where America needs to
become involved. But ISIS is different from past
terrorist threats in the area, and we would do
well to remember it.
ISIS is the now the best funded terrorist
group in history. Most terrorist groups
are funded surreptitiously by sympathetic
individuals. ISIS has managed to capture
both funds and resources that give them a
nearly unlimited supply of cash. In addition to
taking the entire cash reserves of banks in the
territory they have captured, ISIS has control
of a number of oil felds and is selling the oil
on the black market, making millions of dollar
each day. Money isnt the only thing an army
needs, but it is certainly important, and ISIS
gains vast stores every day.
ISIS is in control of a vast amount of
territory. Al-Qaeda may have operated freely
in Afghanistan, but they didnt truly control it.
ISIS is now mostly unchallenged in much of
northern Iraq. In addition they are a real force
in Syria. Their success has drawn substantial
forces to their cause, and they dont appear to
be done yet. ISIS calls themselves an Islamic
state, and they are well on their way to
becoming one. Left to consolidate this captured
territory, they will likely become as strong as
any country in the region save perhaps Iran
and Israel.
Lastly, it seems entirely possible that ISIS
has designs for disrupting Saudi Arabia.
Wahhabism has strong support in Saudi
Arabia, and ISIS have adopted the mantle of
Wahhabism. They may very well be interested
in expanding to control the cities of Mecca and
Medina. To do so would give them substantial
political control over much of the Islamic world.
It might even make them unstoppable without
a wider war with Islam in general.
At the moment we are committed to
airstrikes and targeted missions against ISIS,
but this isnt going to be enough. Obama has
repeatedly rebuffed the idea of American
boots on the ground, and without them, no
serious military mind believes that ISIS can
be stopped. To destroy ISIS, we need to do
something we havent done for many years:
wage a serious and real war with the enemy.
We cannot be squeamish about using our
military might. We need to recognize and
accept that there will be American casualties
and a certain level of collateral damage.
These factors shouldnt be taken lightly, but
neither should the threat of ISIS.
L
a
st W
o
rd
With Kelly Colby
You can read more from Kelly Colby at yourfrstshrug.
blogspot.com.
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enjoyed the sensational event.
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