In everyday conversation, there are ways to go about getting the things we want.

When we
are with a group of friends, we can say to them, "Go get me that plate!", or "Shut-up!"
However, when we are surrounded by a group of adults at a formal function, in which our
parents are attending, we must say, "Could you please pass me that plate, if you don't
mind?" and "I'm sorry, I don't mean to interrupt, but I am not able to hear the speaker in
the front of the room." I different social situations, we are obligated to adjust our use of
words to fit the occasion. It would seem socially unacceptable if the phrases above were
reversed.
According to Brown and Levinson, politeness strategies are developed in order to save the
hearers' "face." Face refers to the respect that an individual has for him or herself, and
maintaining that "self-esteem" in public or in private situations. Usually you try to avoid
embarrassing the other person, or making them feel uncomfortable. Face Threatening Acts
(FTA's) are acts that infringe on the hearers' need to maintain his/her self esteem, and be
respected. Politeness strategies are developed for the main purpose of dealing with these
FTA's. What would you do if you saw a cup of pens on your teacher's desk, and you
wanted to use one, would you
a. say, "Ooh, I want to use one of those!"
b. say, "So, is it O.K. if I use one of those pens?"
c. say, "I'm sorry to bother you but, I just wanted to ask you if I could use one of
those pens?"
d. Indirectly say, "Hmm, I sure could use a blue pen right now."
There are four types of politeness strategies, described by Brown and Levinson, that sum
up human "politeness" behavior: Bald On Record, Negative Politeness, Positive
Politeness, and Off-Record-indirect strategy.
If you answered A, you used what is called the Bald On-Record strategy which provides
no effort to minimize threats to your teachers' "face."
If you answered B, you used the Positive Politeness strategy. In this situation you
recognize that your teacher has a desire to be respected. It also confirms that the
relationship is friendly and expresses group reciprocity.
If you answered C, you used the Negative Politeness strategy which similar to Positive
Politeness in that you recognize that they want to be respected however, you also assume
that you are in some way imposing on them. Some other examples would be to say, "I
don't want to bother you but..." or "I was wondering if ..."
If you answered D, you used Off-Record indirect strategies. The main purpose is to take
some of the pressure off of you. You are trying not to directly impose by asking for a pen.
Instead you would rather it be offered to you once the teacher realizes you need one, and
you are looking to find one. A great example of this strategy is somethin g that almost
everyone has done or will do when you have, on purpose, decided not to return someone's
phone call, therefore you say, " I tried to call a hundred times, but there was never any
answer."
Politeness and Gender

Are Women More Polite Than Men?
Politeness is defined by the concern for the feelings of others.
From Nancy Bonvillain's "Language, Culture, and Communication" she notes
that, "women typically use more polite speech than do men, characterized by a
high frequency ofhonorific (showing respect for the person to whom you are
talking to, formal stylistic markers), and softening devices such as hedges and
questions."
Sociolinguists try to explain why there is a greater frequency of the use of polite
speech from women than from men. In our society it is socially acceptable for a
man to be forward and direct his assertiveness to control the actions of others.
However, society has devalued these speech patterns when it is utilized by
women. From historical recurrence, it has appeared that women have had a
secondary role in society relative to that of the male. Therefore, it has been
(historically) expected from a women to "act like a lady" and "respect those
around you." It reflects the role of the inferior status being expected to respect the
superior. In Frank and Anshen's "Language and the Sexes", they note that boys,
"are permitted, even encouraged, to talk rough, cultivate a deep "masculine" voice
and, if they violate the norms of correct usage or of polite speech, well "boys will
be boys," although, peculiarly, it is much less common that "girls will be girls"
Fortunately, these roles are becoming more of a stereotype and less of a reality.
However, the trend of expected polite speech from the female continues to
remain. This is a prime example of how society plays an important part on the
social function of the language.

Honorifics: linguistic markers that signal respect to the person you are speaking
to:
"Hey ma, fix my jacket"
Mom, could you please do me a favor, and fix my jacket?"
In Japanese, according to Masa-aki Yamanashi, the appropriate choice of
honorifics is based on complex rules evaluating addressee, referent, and entities
or activities associated with either. Example taken from Nancy Bonvillain's
"Language, Culture, and Communication."
1. Without Honorific.
yamada ga musuko to syokuzi o tanosinda
yamada son dinner enjoyed
"Yamada enjoyed dinner with his son."

2. With Honorific.
yamada-san ga musuko-san to o-syokuzi o tanosim-are-ta
yamada-HON son-HON HON-dinner enjoyed-HON
"Yamada enjoyed dinner with his son."

Hedges: "loosely speaking", having a sense of "fuzziness" they take away
assertiveness in your statements, soften the impact of your words or phrases such
as " I was sort-of-wondering," "maybe if....," "I think that...."

"HANK is SO MEAN!"
vs.
" I sort-of-think that Hank is a bit of a mean person."

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