D14 THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 4, 2014 /// THE ENQUIRER

A
detailed perusal of NFL
experts writing for major
websites and news organi-
zations reveals this about
your Cincinnati Bengals:
They stink.
Not stink, exactly. Just very 9-7
ordinary, stuck at the high end of the
NFLs purposely fat waistline.
Reading CBS Sports, Sports Il-
lustrated and ESPN.com, youd think
skepticisms ground zero is the home
locker room at PBS. Maybe it was
another of Paul Browns inventions.
Draw plays, messenger guards, skep-
ticism.
Nobody likes The Men. Not USA
Today (Bengals second in the North,
behind Baltimore), not Yahoo! (sec-
ond, after Pittsburgh). Not Pro Foot-
ball Talk or Football Outsiders or
NFL.com, all of which give high cred-
it to the almighty Steelers.
How come?
The Bengals finished three games
better last year than either Pittsburgh
or Baltimore. The Bengals appear to
be better now than at the end of last
year, owing to improved health, a
decent draft and big-money peace of
mind for Andy Dalton.
The Steelers and Ravens are bet-
ter, too: Pittsburgh is rebuilding its
linebacking corps, crucial to the suc-
cess of Dick LeBeaus defense, and
Baltimore added indomitable Steve
Smith to catch the ball. But does any-
one think either team can overcome
three games?
Apparently, everyone does. At
least everyone not familiar with
three-ways, streetcars and Margus
Hunt.
Hey, America: Identify Geno At-
kins, win fabulous prizes chosen just
for you.
A few facts about the Bengals, for
those outside the 5-1-3:
They play in Cincinnati, a city in
southwestern Ohio, along the banks of
the Ohio River. Yeah, where Johnny
Fever worked. And Marge Schott and
Mayor Jerry Springer. Dont judge us
because were different.
The Bengals have been in the NFL
every single season since 1968, I
swear, though theyre sighted only
rarely, like a condor pair, most com-
monly when ESPN Nation momentari-
ly stops fixating on BrettFavreM-
ichaelVickPeytonManningTimTebow-
JohnnyManziel.
Theyre not the New York Jets. Sal
isnt reporting live from their training
camp.
Theyre not the Dallas Cowboys.
Tony Romo isnt their quarterback.
Jerry Jones doesnt own them.
Theyve actually made the playoffs
more than once in the past six years.
Theyre not the Steelers or the
Ravens, so nobody picks them by
habit to win the AFC North. Even
though theyve made the postseason
each of the last three years, one bet-
ter than Baltimore and two better
than Pittsburgh.
Even as their best players are
almost all in the primes of their ca-
reers, something that cannot be said
in either Pittsburgh or Baltimore.
Even after they won the North by
three games last year, despite losing
Atkins for seven games and Leon Hall
for 11, and still finished as the
leagues third-ranked defense.
Even though their biggest opening-
day worry is center. Some teams ago-
nize at quarterback or wide receiver.
Some fret the lack of a pass rush or a
holey pass defense. Some, such as the
Cleveland Cubs, er Browns, worry
about life in general.
The Bengals, talented almost ev-
erywhere and deep in lots of places,
bite their nails over starting a rookie
center. Thats like a baseball team
walking the 3 a.m. plank over a scar-
city of middle relief.
And yet the Steelers are the team
to beat.
Well, all right then.
The Steelers top two running
backs were so serious about playing
football two weeks ago, they got
pulled over and cited for smoking
dope, six hours before kickoff. LeV-
eon Bell and LeGarrette Blount (ha-
ha!): The doobie brothers.
Five Ravens players were arrest-
ed, including Ray Rice for going cave-
man on his girlfriend. Pittsburgh has
an aging secondary and lacks receiv-
ing depth. Baltimore has a lousy run-
ning game and lacks receiving depth.
The Bengals have Gio Bernard, Leon
Hall and A.J. Green. Naturally, Pitts-
burgh and Baltimore are better
teams.
The Bengals do have concerns.
Russell Bodine is a rookie playing
center, an underappreciated position.
They do have a first-place schedule:
At Indy, New England and New Or-
leans. A December that includes the
Steelers twice, and Denver at home.
And you havent lost money yet ques-
tioning Andy Dalton in January.
But its not January. And Bodine
has quality help along the line. And
what looks to be a serious schedule in
August isnt always so dire when the
games actually kick off.
So what to make of The Men? Lets
say a hard-earned 10-6, another play-
off show and ... and ... Well see. Opti-
mism only goes so far.
PAUL
DAUGHERTY
@enquirerdoc
I provoke honestly, while always having
the backs of the fans. Reach me via
e-mail at pdaugherty@enquirer.com.