Section 1: Let's Talk About Anger

If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of
sorrow
!! "hinese #ro$erb
%hat is Anger&
Anger is a powerful emotion It can range from mild annoyance to intense rage
Anger is accompanied by biological changes in your body %hen you get angry,
your heart rate and blood pressure rise and stress hormones are released This can
cause you to shake, become hot and sweaty, feel out of control and e'perience a
$ariety of other uncomfortable symptoms
%hen people feel anger, they often beha$e in an angry manner Angry beha$iors
include yelling, throwing things, critici(ing, ignoring, storming out and sometimes
withdrawing and doing nothing
Anger can often lead to $iolence if not properly controlled Some people use anger
as an e'cuse for being abusi$e towards others )iolence and abusi$e beha$ior
gi$es one power and control o$er another through the creation of fear
%hy *o %e +et Angry&
Anger is often associated with frustration ! things don't always happen the way we
want and people don't always beha$e the way we think they should Anger is
usually linked with other negati$e emotions or is a response to them ,ou may be
feeling hurt, frightened, disappointed, worried, embarrassed or frustrated, but may
e'press these feelings as anger Anger can also result from misunderstandings or
poor communication between people
-en and women often, but not always, manage and e'press anger in different
ways %ith men, anger may be the primary emotion, as many men belie$e that
anger is a more legitimate emotion to e'press in a situation .ften men find it
harder to e'press the feelings underneath the anger, like hurt, sadness or grief /or
women the re$erse may often be true ! the anger gets buried under tears
%hen is Anger a #roblem&
Anger becomes a problem when it creates trouble for you with other people, your
work, your health, day!to!day li$ing or the law Anger is also a problem when
other people around you are frightened, hurt or feel they cannot talk to you or
disagree with you 0ere are some signs that you may ha$e a problem with your
anger:
1 ,ou engage in $erbal, emotional, physical or psychological abuse
1 ,ou feel angry a lot of the time
2 #eople close to you are worried about your anger
3 Anger is leading to problems with personal relationships and work
4 ,ou think you ha$e to get angry to get what you want
5 Anger seems out of proportion to the e$ent that set it off
6 Anger lasts for a long time, and well after the triggering e$ent has passed
7 Anger affects other situations not related to the original e$ent
8 ,ou are becoming an'ious or depressed about your anger
19 ,ou are using alcohol or other drugs to try to manage your anger
11 ,ou are getting angry with the people who are closest to you, or with
people who are less powerful than you, rather than dealing with the
situation that sparked your anger in the first place
%hy -anage Anger&
Anger is not usually a good solution to problems, e$en if it seems helpful in the
short term :nmanaged anger creates problems ! sometimes for you and often for
others around you #eople with poor anger management are more likely to ha$e
problems with personal relationships or work, $erbal and physical fights and;or
damaged property They can also e'perience an'iety, depression, low self!esteem,
psychosomatic illnesses and problems with alcohol or drugs It is important to
manage anger before it leads to other serious problems
Some people belie$e that $enting anger is beneficial <esearchers ha$e now found
that =letting it rip' actually escalates anger and aggression and does nothing to
resol$e the situation .n the other hand, sitting on your anger and not e'pressing it
may lead to the pressure cooker e'perience that many are familiar with
>'pressing some feelings of anger in a controlled way rather than bottling them
up gi$es you an opportunity to release some of your underlying feelings, so that
you can start to tackle the issues that are making you angry
%hat is Anger -anagement&
Anger management is about understanding your anger and why it happens It is
about learning and practicing better ways of e'pressing anger, and knowing how
to pre$ent it from occurring in the first place Specifically, anger management is
about knowing the triggers and early warning signs of anger, and learning
techni?ues to calm down and manage situations before they get out of control
:nit Assignment: .bser$e @ut *o Aot <eport
@elow is a list of beha$iors that come from poor anger management Some will be
ob$ious, while others will surprise you .bser$e your peers o$er the ne't few
days, being mindful of the items on this list <esist the urge to confront anyone or
discuss their beha$ior with them Instead, learn from your obser$ations ,ou will
see that you are not alone 0opefully, you will also gain some insight about the
way you deal with anger, and begin to form a plan for change
<oad <age: ,elling, swer$ing, using a $ehicle as a weapon
@ullying: Treating other people like they are worthless
Throwing; @reaking things: Taking out your frustration Bor re$enge&C on
yours or other people's property
Sarcasm and Teasing: Showing people Bin a humorous way&C how stupid
or ridiculous you think they are
#outing: /eeling sorry for yourself, not cooperating Dust to get your way,
creating guilt trips
Slamming doors; Stomping feet
"ritici(ing others: To hell with being politically correct, power trip
Saying, ',ou are right' but not meaning it: Seething, gets you out of a
situation you are uncomfortable with;shuts them up fast
"ondescension: ,ou feel superior to e$eryone else and tell them about it in
a nasty or sarcastic way
Interrupting: ,our opinion counts the mostE a form of bullying
Lying: Sneaky re$enge, making up;spreading rumors, making promises
you ne$er intend to keep
>motional abuse: "ontinually putting the same person down; controlling;
threatening them repeatedly
*omestic abuse: "ontinual physical and;or mental cruelty toward those
you li$e with
,elling: "reating fear and;or submission through threatening $olume
@ody tension: S?uee(ing fists, clenching Daws, fle'ing muscles, turning
red, stress
%ithholding affection: ,ou'll show them who's in control, lack of
forgi$eness, re$enge
Starting arguments;fights Dust 'for fun': +etting a 'high' or a 'rush' at the
e'pense of others
-oral superiority: @elie$ing you 'ha$e a right' to be outraged and are
Dustified in your destructi$e actions
Showing off: @eing the 'tough guy' to impress others
+rumpiness;moodiness: Ao awareness or concern about how you are
coming across to others
#lotting re$enge: #lanning elaborate schemes to get back at your enemies
Ao forgi$eness or forgetting: 0anging onto the hurts of the past
-asochism;Sadism: Addiction to hurting others and;or being hurt
-artyrdom: >nDoying making others feel guilty by playing the $ictim, way
to get attention;sympathy
Low self!esteem: 0ate yourself because you are stupid, worthless, ugly,
la(yF a doormat
Stubbornness: <efusing to acknowledge being wrong or let others ha$e
their way
+laring: ,ou can't hide your disdain for others, keeps people at a distance
Swearing;name!calling: Signal that the glo$es ha$e come off
Threatening others with harm: #hysical, mental, financial, property, loss of
freedoms;choices
Sighing;rolling eyes: .uter show of disrespect, contempt and;or
frustration, listening is o$er