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Public Domain Information Compiled by Dean Amory
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INDEX


Love What You Do - A Key Ingredient for Success - Donald J. ru!"
Discover #o$ o %each Success& #a""iness& 'a!e ( 'ortune) - *oldie!a+
he Secrets ,f #a""iness - Jordan -heng
Doing ,ur 'ull .otential - Scott # Young
Dou/le Your %eading %ate - Scott # Young
$enty 0ni1ue Ways to 0se the 23423 %ule oday - Scott # Young
he -ritical Seven %ules to 0nderstand .eo"le - Scott # Young
La$ of Attraction 5 6uestions& 6uestions& 6uestions... - Aldian .ra7oso
Loving %elationshi"s 8 Affir!ations 8 9astering the Art of Life - John %yder
he hree Levels of hin7ing - he .o$er of .ur"ose - .eter S. e!es
he Secret ,f #a""iness 8 :oah Wein/erg
;3 -ritical Success -lues for Success 8 Lesley 'ieger
;3 Winning raits for Success 8 %ichard *orha!
;2 <le!ents for Success 8 Lesley 'ieger
#o$ o 9a7e Your Wildest Drea!s A %eality 8 -raig Loc7
Ignite Your Success - .aul 'ra+er
Seven -haracter raits of Successful .eo"le 8 -hris Widener
Seven Ideas for Success 8 0ravi Ku!ar
= hings You -an Do o %each he Success You ruly Desire 8 >? %iger #ull
>eing a Winner - en i"s for Success 8 .etra %an7in
he A!a+ing Success Secret Anyone -an Start 0sing oday 8 .eter 9ur"hy
#o$ o >egin Your Journey o Success 8 Dave ,rigano
<ffective Strategies for Sto""ing .rocrastination 8 *arret -oan
he .o$er of 9ind I!agery - Joel S. :elson
What You :eed o Do o >e Successful 8 *raha! and Julie
he hree-Ste" 'or!ula o Success 8 Dean .hilli"s
You >eco!e What You hin7 A/out - htt"544$$$.ins"iration@everyone.co!
#o$ o %e!ove ,/stacles 'or .ersonal *ro$th - Author 0n7no$n
#o$ o >eco!e Attractive - ho!as Leonard
9otivating Intervie$ing - Author 0n7no$n
#o$ o Live A #a""y And %e$arding Life - Author 0n7no$n
he 'ive %ules ,f #a""iness - >urt *old!an
o" Seven Strategies o >eco!e he >est At What You Do - Lee KarAu7iB Dean A!ory
@
SiCty S!all Ways o I!"rove Your Life In he :eCt ;33 Days - 9arelisa 'a/rega
6uotes - Darious Authors
What It a7es o <nhance Your Life - Dean A!ory
'ifteen Ways o <nhance your Life I!!ediately - Dean A!ory
Journey to #a""iness - ,rganisational aid - Dean A!ory


H! T "#E THI# $%

his is not a reading /oo7 that you can read in one evening. ItEs a 7aleidosco"e of o"inions on
ho$ you can enhance your life. #ence& the /est $ay to read this /oo7 is to read one cha"ter at the
ti!e and then /ring into "ractice $hat you read /efore "roceeding to the neCt cha"ter.

he teCts in this /oo7 are "u/lic do!ain "u/lications. #o$ever& /efore citing an article in a
co!!ercial "u/lication& it is advised to al$ays chec7 $ith the author.




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L&E !HAT Y" D ( A %EY IN')EDIENT *)
#"CCE##

/y Donald J. ru!"& -hair!an& ru!" 0niversity

here is an ingredient for success that is often overloo7ed& !ay/e /ecause it sounds out of "lace in
/usiness lingo. >ut I 7no$ for a fact that it is a/solutely necessary to achieve any 7ind of long
lasting success& and I 7no$ this fro! eC"erience. hat ingredient is "assion.

<nthusias! on a /ig scale e1uals "assion. If you donGt have "assion& everything you do $ill fi++le
out& or /e !ediocre& at /est. You have to love $hat youGre doing in order to !a7e it in a /ig ti!e
$ay. .eo"le $ith "assion never give u"& /ecause theyGll never have a reason to give u"& no !atter
$hat their circu!stances !ight /e. ItGs an intangi/le !o!entu! that can !a7e you indo!ita/le.

Another $ay to see this clearly is to reali+e that "assion con1uers fear. his is an i!"ortant fact
$hen considering achieve!ent of any sort. %al"h Waldo <!erson said H<very great and
co!!anding !ove!ent in the annals of the $orld is the triu!"h of enthusias!. :othing great $as
ever achieved $ithout it.I I agree. hin7 a/out that state!ent and 7ee" it close to you.

:eCt& assess your interests. What do you love doingJ What is your i!agination "resenting to youJ
-an you develo" any of these interests into a via/le source of inco!eJ -an you co!e u" $ith a
"ersonal /lue"rintJ Do you have a foundation in "lace& or in the $or7s& for this /lue"rintJ As7
yourself these 1uestions& cover your /ases& and then !ove for$ard. Without !o!entu!& you $ill
si!"ly /e daydrea!ing.

Dery often the dividing line /et$een success and failure is a lac7 of "assion. IGve 7no$n "eo"le
$ho have had fantastic ideas $ho canGt see! to get the! off the ground /ecause they a""roach
everything "assively. hey thin7 the idea $ill so!eho$ get off the ground /y itself& or that Aust
co!ing u" $ith the idea is enough. Let !e tell you so!ethingKitGs not enough. It $ill never /e
enough. You have to "ut the idea into action. And if you donGt have the !otivation or enthusias!
to do it yourself& itGs li7ely your great idea $ill sit on to" of your des7 or inside your head for a
long ti!e to co!e.

he "ursuit of ha""iness is a "roactive endeavour. .eo"le need to cultivate interests and eC"lore
their o$n s7ills and talents to really find out $hat they love. >ut it doesnGt end there. .eo"le
interested in ha""inessKand $ho isnGtJK!ust also discover or create outlets to enhance and
sustain their "assions.

#a""iness& as a function of loving $hat you do& is a co!"leC "heno!enon that enco!"asses
te!"era!ent& talents& and dee"-rooted "ersonality traits. hereGs a lot to sort out& /ut itGs !ore than
$orth the effort /ecause you canGt fiC "ro/le!s you donGt understand. A good self-evaluation&
underta7en through a for!al assess!ent thatGs /ased on validated& statistical sa!"ling& can go a
long $ay to$ard hel"ing one learn Aust $hat it is that !a7es hi!4her ha""y& and finding a suita/le
career.

.assion is a catalyst. 0se it to your advantage and you can start achieving tre!endous things.
Whatever you do& donGt overloo7 or underesti!ate this i!"ortant ingredient for success. It can ta7e
you to so!e a!a+ing "laces)

Hope to +ee you there,

L
DI#C&E) H! T )EACH #"CCE##-
HAPPINE##- *A.E / *)T"NE

/y goldie!a+

htt"544$$$.s1uidoo.co!4roo!attheto"

he secrets to getting ahead in life and /eing successful are so si!"le that $e often overloo7 the!.
%e"lacing a fe$ /ad ha/its $ith a fe$ good ones can !a7e a /ig difference.


ry the follo$ing ti"s to get ahead in life

Choo+e 'ood Companion+

$o are /etter than one& and you $ill find it /oth "rotection and incentive if you can secure a
faithful friendB and in so!e res"ects /etter than t$o are the !anyB therefore you cannot do !ore
$isely than see7 out a $ider co!"anionshi". Whilst instructed /y the infor!ation of so!e& and
strengthened /y the fir!er faith or larger eC"erience of others& there are i!"ortant the!es on
$hich you $ill learn to thin7 $ith "recision.

#top Procra+tinatin0

9rs. Whitney says& in one of her /oo7s& that Mthe things $hich are cro$ded out of a life are the test
of that life&M and I /elieve that the saying is true in its $idest sense. <Ca!ine our lives closely& and
$e shall find that $e constantly delude ourselves $ith the idea that $e $ould acco!"lish certain
things if $e had ti!e& $hen& in truth& $e have no real desire for those things. ,ne "erson $ill say
that reading is out of the 1uestionB another $ill /e$ail the i!"ossi/ility of !aintaining social
relationsB a third $ill avo$ that charita/le or /enevolent enter"rises $ould delight her if she !ight
engage in the! and all the ti!e these good "eo"le are co!forting the!selves $ith a fallacy. he
things for $hich they do find ti!e are the things they "refer.

he things $hich are cro$ded out are the things they $ould not choose if life lay une!"loyed
/efore the!. Scores of $ives and !others are /usied constantly $ith their fa!ily cares& /ut not
one in every score loves !usic enough to steal ti!e for "ractice. #undreds of young !en are
forced /y stress of circu!stances to $or7 hard for daily su/sistence& /ut only one in a thousand&
"erha"s& con1uers the difficulty of his "osition& and !a7es a na!e for hi!self. his one !ight not
have found his $ay easier or its u"$ard ste"s less tireso!e& /ut he $anted to succeed& and so
$anting& let nothing needful /e cro$ded out.

%eep Your Temper

You $ill acco!"lish nothing /y losing it. 9any date their failure in /usiness to so!e hasty and ill-
considered state!ent !ade during a fit of te!"er. When things go a$ry& /usiness is dull& and the
"ros"ect is dar7 ahead& it is very "oor consolation to indulge in "assionate and angry re!ar7s to
those around you. he fro$n on a "ersonEs face is a good indication of the state of the feelings
$ithin. he $orld Audges us /y our out$ard conduct and /ehaviour& and ill-nature and anger. Kee"
your te!"er.

=
Ener0y and Coura0e

<nergy ena/les a !an to force his $ay through ir7so!e drudgery and dry details& and carries hi!
on$ard and u"$ard in every station in life. It acco!"lishes !ore than genius. <nergy of $ill !ay
/e defined to /e the very central "o$er of character in a !an - in a $ord& it is the 9an hi!self.
rue ho"e is /ased on it - and it is ho"e that gives the real "erfu!e to life. :o /lessing is e1ual to
the "ossession of a stout heart -harles IN& of S$eden& $as a fir! /eliever in the "o$er of $ill&
even in a youth. Laying his hand on the head of his youngest son& $hen engaged u"on a difficult
tas7& he eCclai!ed. M#e shall do it) he shall do it)M

:othing that is of real $ord can /e achieved $ithout courageous $or7ing. he ti!id and hesitating
find everything i!"ossi/le& chiefly /ecause it see!s so. he Scri"tural inAunction& MWhatsoever
thy hand findeth to do& do it $ith all thy !ightM& !ust /e reali+ed if you $ish to succeed. It is
"luc7& tenacity& and deter!ined "erseverance $hich $ins soldiersE /attles& and& indeed& every
/attle. It is the one nec7 nearer that $ins the race and sho$s the /loodB it is the one !arch !ore
that $ins the ca!"aignB the five !inutesE !ore "ersistent courage that $ins the fight. hough your
force /e less than anotherEs& you e1ual and out-!aster your o""onent if you continue it longer and
concentrate it !ore. he re"ly of the S"artan father& $ho said to his son& $hen co!"laining that
his s$ord $as too short& MAdd a ste" to it&M is a""lica/le to everything in life.

The #tren0th f #ilence

here is a !ighty "o$er in silence& and silence is fre1uently an evidence of "o$er. here are !any
"eo"le so $ea7 that they can not hold their tongues& or 7ee" their !ouths shut. ,ne $ho offends
not in $ord is a "erfect !an& a/le to /ridle the $hole /ody. #e $ho can control his tongue& can
control his entire nature. #ence silence is a to7en of "o$er& of reserved force. #e $ho 7no$s ho$
to 7ee" silence 7no$s ho$ to s"ea7B and often his silence is !ore i!"ressive than his s"eech.

M>rilliant flashes of silenceM is /y no !eans a senseless eC"ression. #o$ often have $e seen the
/a//le of the foolish hushed /y the silent glance of an earnest soulB ho$ often the ri/ald Aest or
scurrilous $ord has died u"on the li"s $hen an indignant silence $as the only re"ly it could evo7e.
hat !an or that $o!an $ho can stand silent a!id re"roaches and accusations and sneers and
scons& sho$s a degree of strength and "o$er $hich falls not to the lot of every one. he silent
acco!"lish !ore than the noisy. he tail of the rattlesna7e !a7es all the noise& /ut the head does
all the eCecution.

Idlene++ Not Happine++

he !ost co!!on error is that of loo7ing for ha""iness so!e$here outside of useful $or7. It has
never yet /een found $hen thus sought& and never $ill /e $hile the $orld standsB and the sooner
this truth is learned the /etter for everyone. If you dou/t the "ro"osition& glance around a!ong
your friends and ac1uaintances& and select those $ho a""ear to have the !ost enAoy!ent in life.
Are they the idlers and "leasure-see7ers& or the earnest $or7ersJ We 7no$ $hat your ans$er $ill
/e. ,f all the !isera/le hu!an /eings it has /een our fortune or !isfortune to 7no$& they $ere the
!ost $retched $ho had retired fro! useful e!"loy!ent to enAoy the!selvesB $hile the slave at his
enforced la/our& or the hungry toiler for /read& $ere su"re!ely ha""y in co!"arison.


2
THE #EC)ET# * HAPPINE##
>y Jordan - htt"544Aordancheng.net4the-secrets-of-ha""iness4
here are "aradoCes surrounding $ealth and ha""iness& $hich drive everyone to its "ursuit. he
reality is& there are sufficient evidences to sho$ a significant disconnect /et$een $ealth and $ell-
/eing. >ased on the research findings& you $ill 7no$ that ha""iness can /e elusive and yet
attaina/le.
The followin0 are +u00e+tion+ on how you can increa+e your happine++1
)eali2e That !ealth Doe+ Not Create Permanent Happine++.
.eo"le ada"t to changing circu!stancesKeven to $ealth or a disa/ility. hus $ealth is li7e health5
Its utter a/sence /reeds !isery& /ut having it Oor any circu!stance $e long forP doesnGt guarantee
ha""iness.
HThe mind of every man, in a longer or shorter time, returns to its natural and usual state of
tranquillity. In prosperity, after a certain time, it falls back to that state; in adversity, after a
certain time, it rises up to it.I 3Ada! S!ith& he heory of 9oral Senti!ents& ;=FQP
$e Your wn Time .a+ter,
#a""y "eo"le are !aster of ti!e !anage!ent& and hence often feel in control of their lives. It
hel"s to set goals and /rea7 the! into daily ai!s. Although $e often overesti!ate ho$ !uch $e
$ill acco!"lish in any given day Oleaving us frustratedP& $e generally underesti!ate ho$ !uch $e
can acco!"lish in a year& given Aust a little "rogress every day.
$e Happy- E4en Deliberately.
We can deli/erately "ut ourselves into a fra!e of !ind /y starting it $ith "hysical action. When
you feel !oody& loo7 at the !irror and "ut on a /right s!ile to yourself. It ignites the energy of
Aoyful e!otion& $hich !a7es you feel /etter and trigger su/se1uent "ositive !oods. When you
!eet "eo"le outside& your energy can /e felt /y "eo"le and /rings forth !utually contagious effect.
So "ut on a ha""y face. al7 li7e so!eone $ith high self-estee!& o"ti!istic& and outgoing. ,nce
you go through the !otions& it can trigger the e!otions. As 9ary Kay said5 H'a7e it until you
!a7e itI
Ali0n !or5 with Pa++ion.
As !entioned in !y "revious "ost <C"eriencing 'lo$ State& ha""y "eo"le often are in a
"sychological state called Hin the +oneI or Hin the flo$I 8 $hen one is co!"letely a/sor/ed in a
tas7 that challenges the! yet $ithout over$hel!ing the!. 9ost of the eC"ensive for!s of leisure
Osuch as sitting on a yachtP "rovide less flo$ eC"erience than gardening& "laying !usical
instru!ents& "ainting& 7ee"ing fish& sociali+ing& or craft $or7.
$e Phy+ically Acti4e.
It has /eco!e a 7no$n fact the eCercise not only "ro!otes health and energy& it is also an antidote
for !ild de"ression and anCiety. *o for gy!& Aogging& s$i!!ing& yoga& aero/ics& .ilates& and
anything that $or7s your /ody and gets you "ers"iring. Sound !inds reside in sound /odies. %ead
Q
!y "ost HWhy Do I Wa7e 0" At L a! <very 9orningI on !y eC"eriences /enefiting fro! daily
!orning run.
Ha4e Enou0h )e+t,
#a""y "eo"le live active vigorous lives yet reserve ti!e for rene$ing slee" and solitude. 9any
"eo"le suffer fro! slee" deficiency& $ith resulting fatigue& di!inished alertness& and gloo!y
!oods. If inso!nia is the cause& try to restore /alance in life& eCercise regularly& have "ro"er diet&
get a !assage& "ractice yoga and !editation.
'i4e Priority to Clo+e )elation+hip+,
Inti!ate friendshi"s $ith those $ho care dee"ly a/out you can hel" you $eather difficult ti!es.
-onfiding is good for soul and /ody. %esolve to nurture your closest relationshi"s5 to not ta7e
those closest to you for granted& to dis"lay to the! the sort of 7indness that you dis"lay to others&
to affir! the!& to "lay together and share together.
*ocu+ $eyond #elf.
%each out to those in need. #a""iness increases hel"fulness Othose $ho feel good do goodP. As
true as the saying H$hat goes around co!es aroundI& doing good also !a7es one feel good. >eing
o"ened to the needs of surrounding "eo"le also hel" you avoid d$elling in your o$n !isery.
$e 'rateful.
.eo"le $ho 7ee" a gratitude AournalK$ho "ause each day to reflect on so!e "ositive as"ect of
their lives Otheir health& friends& fa!ily& freedo!& education& senses& natural surroundings& and so
on.P eC"erience heightened $ell-/eing.
HI cried because I had no shoes, states a Persian saying, until I met a man ho had no feet.I
Learn Not To Compare,
9ost of the !isery of "eo"le co!es fro! co!"aring $ith others $ho are /etter or have !ore. his
is the definite source of discontent and a "er"etual sense of lac7. It !ay continue to drive you to
achieve !ore& /ut for the $rong reasons. It is li7e the rat on the tread!ill& constantly chasing its
tail until eChaustion. It "uts a "erson on over-drive $ithout any sense of fulfil!ent. If there is any
ha""iness fro! achieving& it is often fleeting. When you sto" co!"aring $ith others& you get
started on the "ath of freedo!.
H!ur poverty became a reality. "ot because of our having less, but by our neighbours having
more.I 3Will -a!"/ell& >rother to a Dragonfly& ;Q==P
Nurture Your #piritual #elf.
'or !any "eo"le& faith "rovides a su""ort co!!unity& a reason to focus /eyond self& and a sense
of "ur"ose and ho"e. Study after study finds that actively religious "eo"le are ha""ier and that they
co"e /etter $ith crises.
9ay you live a life of "ure and "er!anent ha""iness)

;3
DIN' ") *"LL PTENTIAL
/y Scott # Young
htt"544$$$.scotthyoung.co!4/log4233L43342@4living-u"-to-our-full-"otential4


An idea I a! constantly referred to is that of Hliving u" to our full "otential.I I donGt agree $ith
this conce"t. It !ight see! odd that so!eone $ho runs a "ersonal develo"!ent /log $ould
disagree $ith the conce"t of living u" to our full "otential& an idea that is often used as the
funda!ental of "ersonal develo"!ent& so let !e eC"lain.

I "ersonally /elieve that the idea of Hliving u" to our full "otentialI illustrates a fla$ in our
thin7ing a/out ho$ $e define HsuccessI. ,ur full "otential see!s to i!"ly that there is an ar/itrary
"oint of !aCi!u! achieve!ent for each of us in this life ti!e. I thin7 this ty"e of thin7ing can /e
ins"iring& /ut also li!it us in a $ay.

hin7ing a/out Hliving u" to our full "otentialI can often ins"ire or "ush us to !a7e
i!"rove!ents. In this sense& having a full "otential to live u" to is a good conce"t in order to get
us to !a7e the i!"rove!ents $e need to !a7e to live a great life. #o$ever& I /elieve that the
conce"t of Hfull "otentialI !a7es so!e inaccurate assu!"tions a/out success.

In order to see $hat these inaccurate assu!"tions are& $e need to define success. So $hat is
successJ

I "ersonally $ould consider success to /e the !easure of ha""iness& fulfil!ent and i!"act $e have
$ith our lives. Success is the sense that $e are fulfilled $ith our contri/ution to the $orld and are
doing our /est. hin7 a/out it. <verything $e do in life is "retty !uch to directly or indirectly
influence these factors. We $ant to /e ha""y and fulfilled in our life and our lifeGs "ur"ose. ,nce
$e have that $e $ant to increase the "ositive i!"act $e can have on the $orld. hat is ho$ I
$ould define success.

So $here does ha""iness and fulfil!ent co!e fro!J #a""iness and fulfil!ent co!e fro! gro$th.
When $e feel $e are gro$ing& i!"roving and eC"eriencing life to the /est of our a/ilities is $hen
$e are the !ost fulfilled and contented. herefore I $ould say that the !easure of success $e have
in life is the level of gro$th $e are currently eC"eriencing.

So $hy does this conflict $ith the conce"t of Hliving u" to our full "otentialIJ

I /elieve this conflict arises /ecause this i!"lies that the true !easure of success is in achieving a
certain "oint or "osition in the continuu! of "ersonal develo"!ent. >ut /ased on our definition of
success& the "osition is not really $hat creates success. Success instead is /ased on the rate of
gro$th or velocity.

So instead of our "ast conce"t of Hliving u" to our full "otential.I I $ould say it !ore accurately as
Hdoing our full "otential.I his !ay see! li7e se!antics /ut the difference is crucial.

Living u" to our true "otential& that is the ar/itrary "oint of !aCi!u! achieve!ent in our lives is
daunting and rarely ins"iring. #o$ can one "ossi/ly live u" to their HfullI "otential $ithout the
;;
/enefit of hindsightJ <ven if $e are doing our /est& $e !ight !a7e !ista7es or incorrect
decisions. his true "otential i!"lies that success& ha""iness and fulfil!ent& are lin7ed to
achieving our Hfull "otentialI. Seeing as this full "otential is al$ays Aust out of reach& eCtending
this line of thin7ing says that $e $ill not /e ha""y or fulfilled unless $e reach it. his is $hy I
thin7 this state!ent actually de!otivates a lot of "eo"le.

Doing our full "otential i!"lies that $e are going to do our /est to gro$ and i!"rove ourselves.
his state!ent "uts the "ressure on the "resent& not the i!"ossi/ly huge conteCt of our $hole lives.
In this sense& as long as $e are doing the /est $e "ossi/ly can& $e are successful. We can al$ays
do our /est& regardless of a s"ecific outco!e.

>y focusing on doing our full "otential $e can eC"erience !aCi!u! gro$th and i!"rove!ent in
our lives. 'ro! this i!"rove!ent and gro$th $e can achieve ha""iness and fulfil!ent. Kno$ing
$e are doing the /est $e can is enough to satisfy. 'ro! this conteCt I $ould say that a recovering
alcoholic doing his /est to i!"rove his life is !ore successful than so!eone $ho has settled into
an average life.

,ur full "otential in the course of our lives is often at the !ercy of different factors $e cannot
control. If $e $ere to suddenly die to!orro$& I $ouldnGt say that $here $e our right no$ $as our
full "otential. 'urther!ore& this full "otential gets us to strive to$ards a "oint& rather than focusing
on the gro$th and direction itself.

his conce"t of success as /eing an ar/itrary "oint is "revalent in the $ay $e set goals. I often
hear a/out "eo"le $ho say that they $erenGt any ha""ier after achieving their goals than they $ere
/efore. hese "eo"le $ould often go on to clai! that the "ro/le! $as $ith goal setting entirely.

he fact is& the real "ro/le! is that they /elieved success Oha""iness and fulfil!entP $as lin7ed
$ith an ar/itrary "oint& rather than the rate of their o$n gro$th. he reason you set goals is to
increase your velocity& to increase the rate of your gro$th& not Aust to achieve a s"ecific !ilestone&
or "osition& in that develo"!ent. It !ay see! odd that the "ur"ose of goal setting isnGt Aust to
achieve the goal& /ut rather to get us to "ush /eyond our nor!al eC"ectations& /ut it is very true.

I /elieve that !any "eo"le $ho li7e this eC"ression already use it in the $ay I descri/e as doing
instead of reaching a "oint. 'or those "eo"le I thin7 youGve already got the right idea. 'ocus on
ho$ you can do your /est right in this !o!ent. As long as you are doing that& you are successful.

Life is a Aourney not a destination. DonGt focus on reaching an ar/itrary "oint& $hether that is our
Hfull "otentialI or even your s"ecific goals. Instead focus on $hether you are doing your /est to
gro$& i!"rove and eC"and. 'ocus not on living u" to your full "otential /ut in doing your full
"otential in every !o!ent of your life.
;2

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>ringing you "ositive ideas for self gro$th and success

9iracles are your res"onsi/ility) #y $ %ohn &i 'emme
As you read this today& !y goal is for you to ta7e res"onsi/ility and reali+e that you have the
innate a/ility to create !iracles. So letGs get started)

he = 9ost I!"ortant Su/Aects :ever aught In School #y $ (evin )ichael (iley
Life is actually very si!"le. he hard "art is allo$ing it to /e that $ay. his article /riefly
descri/es the = areas of our lives to $hich $e should "ay constant attention. #aving ideals in these
= areas and learning to !ove to$ard those ideals in a regular and /alanced $ay can "rovide a
"o$erful sense of !eaning and "ur"ose. his article is !eant to hel" "eo"le see this !ore si!"ly
and clearly and to "rod the! in that direction.

;3
D"$LE Y") )EADIN' )ATE
/y Scott # Young
%eading is an incredi/ly i!"ortant s7ill to have. Just a/out any for! of education $ill involve
reading& so!eti!es al!ost eCclusively. You can often !a7e yourself an eC"ert on an intellectual
su/Aect Aust /y reading enough in that area. >ut des"ite the incredi/le i!"ortance of reading& !ost
"eo"le are $ildly inefficient at it. Sure5 !ost "eo"le have enough reading s7ills to !ove around.
>ut they are far fro! running.
,ver a year ago I "ic7ed u" the /oo7& $rea5throu0h )apid )eadin0
/y .eter Ku!"& an eC"ert in the area of s"eed-reading. 'ro! that
"urchase I too7 the ti!e and energy to study other $ays to i!"rove !y
reading s7ill. When I did the initial test& I could read at @F3 $ords "er
!inute. A little a/ove the average of around 333& /ut nothing
s"ectacular. >y using the techni1ues IGll descri/e in this article I $as
a/le to increase that rate to around Q33 $ords "er !inute in average
situations& at least dou/ling of !y reading rate.
I /elieve there are siC !aAor 7eys to i!"roving your reading s7ill. Li7e
all s7ills& success only co!es through "ractice& so Aust reading this
article $onGt /e enough. >ut if you are interested in ho$ you !ight /e
a/le to !a7e dra!atic i!"rove!ents in /oth s"eed and co!"rehension&
IGve found these siC "oints to /e the /est start.
78 )emember- )eadin0 i+ Not Linear
#o$ do you read a /oo7J Li7ely fro! start to finish& never going /ac7 and never s7i""ing any
sections. his is "ro/a/ly one of the !ost inefficient $ays to read. he /eauty of teCt is that it is
non-linear. You can s7i" do$n to read only !y !ain /ullet "oints& or read the! in "ractically any
order. Although the "attern of start to finish !ight /e a si!"le one& it isnGt al$ays the !ost
effective.
'or !ost /oo7s I do read in a roughly start to finish fashion. >ut I fre1uently re-read "assages that
I $ant to get a greater understanding of and co!"letely s7i! over "assages that I feel are
redundant or unnecessary. *ood $riters generally add anecdotes or !eta"hors to i!"rove
understanding of a conce"t $hich you can s7i! over to" of if you already get their "oint.
Si!ilarly& /ad $riters often go short on eC"lanation of co!"leC details so re-reading can allo$
your /rain the ti!e to for! the conce"ts.
:ot only is reading non-linear /ut it doesnGt have a set "ace. Although I read so!e /oo7s at a/out
Q33 $ords "er !inute& I slo$ do$n to 233 if the "assage I a! reading is "articularly infor!ation
dense or co!"licated. Si!ilarly I can s7i! at over ;F33 $ords "er !inute if IG! reading !ostly
fluff. Saying I can read at Q33 $"! is li7e saying I can drive at ;33 7!4h. S"eed reading isnGt Aust
a/out faster /ut "acing yourself for the s"ecific reading tas7 you face.
9ost "eo"le read a /oo7 as if it $ere given to the! as a s"eech. hey listen to the author and
follo$ along $ith $hat he is saying in a "urely se1uential !anner. In order to reach faster rates of
co!"rehension you have to learn to a/andon this tactic. You can start this /y not su/ vocali+ing.
;@
98 #top #ub 4ocali2in0
When you started to read you "ro/a/ly read out loud.
Your ele!entary school teacher $anted you to read
the /oo7 and say the $ords aloud. After you
!astered this s7ill& you $ere told to si!"ly say the
$ords inside your head and read 1uietly. his is
$here !ost reading education and s7ill levels end.
o !ove to a ne$ level you need to sto" sounding
the $ords inside your head or su/ vocali+ing. Su/
vocali+ing ta7es ti!e& !ore ti!e than is necessary to
co!"rehend the $ords you are reading. It is al!ost
i!"ossi/le to go !uch /eyond @33 or F33 $ords
$hile su/ vocali+ing. Instead you need to train
yourself to read $ithout hearing the $ords in your head.
>ut for !ost "eo"le this has /eco!e such an ingrained reading ha/it that they donGt reali+e that
su/ vocali+ation is a distinct "rocess to co!"rehension. If I read at around a thousand $ords "er
!inute& there is no $ay I could hear the $ords in !y head $hile trying to "rocess the!. Instead I
si!"ly see the $ord and !y /rain auto!atically constructs $hat has /een $ritten. IGll understand a
line of teCt that I loo7ed over in a second& even though it !ay have ta7en at least five Aust to say
the $ords in !y head.
Since !ost "eo"le currently canGt se"arate the su/ vocali+ation fro! co!"rehension& they are
loc7ed in at a rate of a/out @33-F33 $ords. 9oving /eyond that rate re1uires that you "ractice
reading faster than you can actually read.
<dit5 IGve done a follo$-u" to eC"lain su/ vocali+ation !ore as I thin7 this "ost !ay have confused
"eo"le a little. -hec7 it out here5 S"eed %eading 'ollo$-0"
:8 Practice )eadin0
.ractice reading doesnGt !ean reading. .ractice reading involves reading faster than you can
actually read. -hances are you $onGt co!"rehend !uch of $hat you are reading /ecause your
/rain is so used to going at a slo$er rate and su/ vocali+ing. he "oint is si!"ly to see the teCt
faster than you can read so you can untie the ha/it of sounding the $ords as you co!"rehend the!.
You can start doing this /y ta7ing out a ti!er or a sto" $atch and si!"ly vie$ing as !uch teCt in a
/oo7 as "ossi/le in one !inute. 0se a /oo7 you havenGt read /efore to ensure your /rain is actually
"racticing instead of relying on !e!ory. 9ar7 out $here you started and sto""ed. -ount the
nu!/er of $ords "er line Ouse a 1uic7 averageP and then the nu!/er of lines you actually read in
the /oo7 to co!"ute your "ractice reading rate.
,nce you get used to "ractice reading at a high rate that you canGt co!"rehend& you should slo$ly
/e a/le to actually co!"rehend at a slightly slo$er rate /ut still faster than if you su/ vocali+ed. I
$ould often "ractice read at /et$een ;F33 and ;233 $ords "er !inute& and although I lac7ed
co!"rehension s7ill& I could !aintain it at a/out Q33-;333& over dou/le $hat I had done $hen I
su/ vocali+ed.
;F
>ut ho$ can you "ractice read faster than you can readJ #o$ do you follo$ the teCt /ut still go
faster than you can readJ he ans$er is another of s"eed reading tric7s& using a pointer.
;8 "+e a Pointer
Your eyes donGt stay fiCed in one s"ot $hen reading. <ye
trac7ing !ove!ents have sho$n that your eyes actually 1uiver
and !ove around considera/ly. And every !ove!ent a$ay fro!
your "osition in teCt re1uires a fe$ !illiseconds to readAust.
hese little readAust!ents in locating your "lace in a /oo7 add u"
to /e very costly if you $ant to go faster.
0se your indeC finger to !ar7 $here you are on the "age at all
ti!es. It should follo$ along $ith the $ord you are currently
reading& slo$ly scrolling across each line and then /ac7 do$n
one. It !ay feel a$7$ard at first and it !ay even te!"orarily
slo$ your reading rate as you adAust& /ut using a "ointer is
critical if you $ant to i!"rove your reading s7ill.
0sing a "ointer is also crucial if you $ant to "ractice read. >y
!oving your finger faster than you can actually read& your eyes
get used to vie$ing teCt faster than your /rain can "rocess $hat is $ritten do$n. his $ill /rea7
your su/ vocali+ation attach!ent and can easily let you dou/le your reading rate $ith sufficient
"ractice.
You should use your finger as a "ointer all the ti!e. When I first started $ith the ha/it I found it
annoying to hold the /oo7 in a funny "osition so I could use !y right hand to scroll the "age. I
thought it $as silly and !ay/e even a $aste of ti!e. >ut no$ I find it hard to read $ithout a
"ointer. :oticing ho$ !uch it has hel"ed !e focus !y reading efforts it is a "riceless tool in
reading.
<8 Eliminate Di+traction+
As a university student living on ca!"us IGve noticed a fe$ of !y friends $ho HstudyI $hile
$atching television. :ot sur"risingly& these tend to /e the sa!e "eo"le $ho co!"lain a/out ho$
!uch studying they have to do. %eading canGt ha""en in an environ!ent $here eCternal
distractions are over$hel!ing.
If you need a /rea7& ta7e a /rea7. a7ing a fe$ !inutes to $atch a television sho$& listen to so!e
!usic or Aust close your eyes can often i!"rove your focus. >ut donGt !ultitas7 $ith your reading
or youGll lose any /enefits s"eed reading can offer. Worse& /ecause you have sto""ed su/
vocali+ing& you !ight even s7i! through several "ages /efore you reali+e you havenGt
co!"rehended anything that $as $ritten.
Distractions $ill ha!"er regular reading /ut they $ill !a7e s"eed reading i!"ossi/le. Su/
vocali+ation creates enough !ental noise that it can hold your attention& /ut $ithout that it can
often /e difficult to stic7 $ith $hat you are reading.
<Cternal distractions !ay /e a "ro/le!& /ut internal distractions are Aust as /ad. hey occur $hen
in the !idst of reading you start "ondering that conversation you Aust had $ith a friend& the !ovie
;L
you $ant to see or $hether you should do your laundry. he $ay to re!ove internal distractions
co!es fro! clearly identifying a "ur"ose and a !otivation.
=8 *ind Your .oti4ation
If there $as one "iece of advice I $ould
offer to i!"rove your reading rate it $ould
/e si!"ly to engross yourself in the
!aterial you are studying. If you can
connect $hat you are reading to a dee"ly
held !otivation& and deter!ine your
s"ecific "ur"ose for reading you can
!aintain a very alert and focused state.
9ost "eo"le donGt do this. Instead they
force the!selves to study the /oo7 they
7no$ they should and end u" having to
refocus the!selves every thirty seconds
$hen their !ind decides that this /oo7 is
/oring and $ould li7e to /e so!e$here
else.
'irst& find a general !otivation. his is
ho$ $hat you are reading relates to your
truly !otivating goals and "assions in life.
When I read !y "sychology teCt/oo7 I
focus on the fact that !any "ersonal
develo"!ent "rinci"les co!e fro! an
understanding of hu!an "sychology and
that I !ay discover ne$ ideas if I loo7 carefully. When studying ancient Asian history I focused on
the fact that studying a co!"letely different culture could offer insights into ho$ Western and
<astern value syste!s differed& giving !e ne$ thoughts on $hether !y values are as a/solute as I
once thought. I also focused on the fact that !any great "hiloso"hers such as >uddha and
-onfucius lived during these ti!es $ith a "rofound influence on the ideas of these nations.
he general !otivation should !a7e you $ant to read the /oo7. If you donGt genuinely $ant to
read the /oo7& co!e u" $ith !ore reasons it is attached to your dee"est interests or it is going to /e
a struggle to !ove through. You can find a general !otivation for reading any /oo7 if you are
creative enough& so donGt tell !e you canGt figure out one.
he second "ortion is to deter!ine your s"ecific !otivation for reading. What are you s"ecifically
loo7ing for $hen reading the /oo7. :e$ ideasJ A "ractical solution to a "ro/le!J An
understanding of a conce"tJ A chance to fleC your !ental !usclesJ 'igure out $hat you $ant to
get out of each reading session so your !ind is "ri!ed to inta7e that 7no$ledge.
If you are interested in i!"roving your s"eed reading& I strongly suggest $rea5throu0h )apid
)eadin0 /y .eter Ku!". he /oo7 goes fro! /eginner conce"ts that IGve detailed to even !ore
advanced ones that I have yet to !aster Osuch as reading several lines at once and reading
sentences /ac7$ards to save ti!e on a "ointer /ac7stro7eP. S"eed reading is definitely a
$orth$hile s7ill and at the very least your friends $ill /e i!"ressed.
;=
T!ENTY "NI>"E !AY# T "#E THE ?@A9@ )"LE
IG! sure !ost "eo"le are fa!iliar $ith .aretoGs "rinci"le& develo"ed /y an Italian econo!ist and
!ost co!!only 7no$n as the 23423 %ule. While .areto originally used the rule noticing that 23T
of the $ealth $as o$ned /y 23T of the "o"ulation& the rule has a""lications in al!ost every area
of life.
There are many way+ you can u+e thi+ rule, HereB+ twenty1
;. !or5 Ta+5+ - Write do$n all the /road categories of tas7s you do at your Ao/. You can !a7e
a little ta/le that sho$s the a!ount of hours s"ent at each category Osay& ; hr for <-!ail& ; hr for
contacting clients& etc.P and on another colu!n $rite do$n a value esti!ate for $hat "ercentage
you /elieve it contri/utes to your "roductivity. <li!inate& si!"lify or delegate lo$ TGs and focus
on high TGs.

2. *ood - %ecord your eating ha/its for a $ee7. -alculate u" the calories of the different ite!s of
food. IGve done this /efore and IGve found it sur"rising ho$ so!e treats contri/ute a high
"ercentage of your calorie "ie for no nutritional value& $hen other vices consu!ed in s!aller
"ortions ta7e u" only a sliver /ut still offer a tasty treat.

3. Daily Time Lo0 - Do a ti!e log on your activities for an entire day. %ecord the sto" and start
"oint for any activity. hen /roadly shuffle the different activities into categories. 'igure out $hat
"arts of your day arenGt contri/uting to either "roductivity& entertain!ent or "ersonal ha""iness
and cut the! out.

@. )eadin0 - Loo7 at the last fe$ do+en /oo7s youGve read. %ate the! according to the a!ount of
useful info or entertain!ent value. Loo7 for trends and use that info to s7i! or s7i" future /oo7s to
save ti!e.

F. )elation+hip+ - Loo7 at your social circle and friends. Do a rough esti!ate of the a!ount of
ti!e and energy you invest in each relationshi". -o!"are that to the a!ount of stress or
satisfaction. You !ight find that certain relationshi"s are toCic and others are valua/le and should
/e invested in !ore.

L. )## *eed+ - Loo7 through your feed list. Write do$n the "ercentage of articles you enAoyed
out of the last ten in the feed. <li!inate the lo$est TGs. You !ay $ant to ta7e into account article
length or "osting rate& /ut 1uality is "ro/a/ly the /est !easure!ent of all.

=. E(.ail - *rou" the ty"es of e-!ails you ans$er into /asic categories. -onsider develo"ing a
te!"late for the !ost co!!on e-!ail res"onses that contri/ute the least "otential value for
ans$ering "ersonally.

2. .a0a2ine #ub+cription+ - Sa!e as %SS feeds. *o through all your su/scri"tions and give a
"ercentage scale of $hat you "erceive to /e the value of the last several editions. -ancel
su/scri"tions to the /otto! and leave the to".

Q. Tele4i+ion #how+ - %ecord your television $atching ha/its for a $ee7 or t$o. After $atching
give a su/Aective rating of the television sho$. After your done& total u" the a!ount s"ent on
different sho$s or channels. If you have a s"ecial su/scri"tion service& cancel the channels that
you donGt $atch or have little value. ,ther$ise& consider eli!inating live television entirely and
;2
recording the sho$s you feel are valua/le to $atch later. IGve done this /efore and it can /e a /ig
ti!e saver $hile still allo$ing you to enAoy so!e "assive entertain!ent.

;3. !eb #urfin0 - %ecord your $e/ usage for a day or t$o. Write do$n the sites you visited or
tools you used to get there OStu!/le0"on& Digg& etc.P 'igure out sites too7 u" the !ost ti!e and
$hich had the least value. YouGd /e sur"rised ho$ often they are the sa!e thing.

;;. #prin0 Cleanin0 - Although itGs only a fe$ $ee7s fro! su!!er& you can use this on any
organi+ation atte!"t. *o through your ite!s and trash all the ite!s that you havenGt used recently
OeCce"t for i!"ortant docu!entsP. Just /ecause you have storage s"ace& doesnGt !ean it should /e
filled $ith gar/age. <li!inate clutter and it /eco!es far easier to find and use the things you
actually need.

;2. Client+ACu+tomer+ - his one co!es fro! i! 'erriss& in the 'our #our Wor7$ee7. 'igure
out $hich custo!ers contri/ute the !ost co!"laints and the least revenue. :otify the! that things
$ill need to change and set do$n so!e guidelines. hen fire the ones that donGt co!"ly. *oes
against the doctrine that the custo!er is al$ays right& /ut so!e "eo"le Aust arenGt $orth the trou/le
they cause.

;3. Hard Dri4e - Sort through your co!"uter docu!ents& co!"aring the last !odified date for
various !aAor folders. -reate a se"arate folder syste! $here you can !ove these rarely used files.
his $ill eli!inate your co!"uter clutter and !a7e it far easier and faster to find the stuff you
actually use.

;@. De+5top - Sa!e thing as the hard-drive& /ut I do it every $ee7 or t$o. Just go through your
des7to" and delete any short-cuts or !ove docu!ents that havenGt /een used in the last t$o $ee7s.
You donGt have to co!"letely eli!inate everything& /ut it $ill !a7e your des7to" a !ore efficient
$or7s"ace.

;F. Application+ - *o through all your co!"uter a""lications. 'igure out $hich ones are
distracting and are either rarely used or contri/ute little value. 0ninstall those. If this see!s li7e
too !uch $or7& a co!"lete co!"uter refor!at can get rid of the trash.

;L. Home Appliance+ - Deter!ine $hich a""liances cause the !ost frustration& stress and /rea7
do$n the !ost. ,nce youGve done this you have three o"tions5 learn to use the tool /etter to
understand it and "revent stress& /uy a ne$ one or find a su/stitute that is less da!age "rone. Save
yourself the headache and 23423 your la$n!o$er.

;=. $ud0et - -alculate all your discretionary eC"enses Oafter taCes& food and necessitiesP. :o$
co!"are the !oney value of each eC"ense $ith the utility of the "urchase. If you $anted to
co!"are different entertain!ent ite!s in your /udget& you could value each eC"ense on the
"leasure it /rought you. If you $anted to co!"are different invest!ents or tools you could
co!"are return rates or "roductivity gained.

;2. $lo00in0 - -lassify the ty"es of "osts you $rite into different categories. IGve done this
grou"ing /y& "ost length& su/Aect& for!at& style& i!ages& etc. 9ulti"ly each /y the a!ount of ti!e
to $rite each ty"e of "ost. hen co!"are that data to your esti!ate of traffic gained fro! each.
0se this as a guide for future $riting.

;Q
;Q. Habit+ - 'igure out $hich /ehaviours Oor lac7 thereofP contri/ute the !ost to your life.
eCerciseJ %ising <arlyJ 'a!ily DinnersJ 0se this as a /asis for !a7ing ne$ ha/its.

23. 'oal+ - It doesnGt !atter $hether you have the! $ritten do$n or Aust in your head. Loo7 at all
your goals and co!"are the resources re1uired to acco!"lish each Oti!e& !oney& energy& etc.P $ith
the /enefits gained. >enefits could /e "hysical re$ards& "ur"oseful $or7 or e!otional 1uality.
.ursue the goals $ith the highest value.

23
C )"LE# T "NDE)#TAND PEPLE
>y5 Scott #. Young
-learly a rule canGt define so!ething as co!"leC as hu!an /ehaviour. >ut des"ite this& IGve found
!ost "eo"le tend to !a7e the sa!e !ista7es. %e!e!/ering these seven rules $ill hel" you avoid
these !ista7es.

People #5ill+ i+ About $ein0 Nice- *riendly and Intere+tin0, Duh!
9ost of the /oo7s IGve read on dealing $ith "eo"le either !a7e t$o clai!s5
,/vious stuff that !ost "eo"le already 7no$5 hings li7e /e nice& /e considerate& etc.
>i+arre and co!"leC theories that !ay eC"lain so!e /ehaviour& /ut is difficult to
generali+e.
#o$ever& $hat !ost "eo"le need is infor!ation that can /e a""lied generally& /ut isnGt al$ays
o/vious and that hel"s to avoid "eo"le conflicts& social errors and e!otional u"sets.

Here are the +e4en rule+ IBm tal5in0 about1
)ule ne1 Ne4er blame malice for what can ea+ily be e6plained by conceit,
.eo"le donGt care a/out you. his isnGt /ecause "eo"le are !ean or hurtful& /ut si!"ly /ecause
they are !ostly focused on the!selves. -onsider this hy"othetical "ie-chart sho$ing the variety of
thoughts a ty"ical "erson has5

In this eCa!"le& L3T of thoughts are self-
directed. 9y goals. 9y "ro/le!s. 9y feelings.
Another 33T are directed to$ards relationshi"s&
/ut ho$ they affect !e. What does Julie thin7 of
!eJ #o$ $ill /oss evaluate !y "erfor!ance in
the neCt revie$J Do !y friends li7e !e or see
!e as irritatingJ
,nly ;3T in this !odel is ti!e s"ent in
e!"athy. <!"athy is the rare event $here one
"erson actually feels the e!otions& "ro/le!s and
"ers"ective of another "erson. Instead of as7ing
$hat Julie thin7s of !e& I as7 $hat is Julie
thin7ing.
Within that ;3T& !ost "eo"le then divide attention /et$een hundreds of other "eo"le they 7no$.
As a result& you $ould occu"y a fraction of a "ercentage in !ost "eo"les !inds& and only a cou"le
"ercentage "oints in a dee"ly /onded relationshi". <ven if you are in another "ersons thoughts& it is
ho$ your relationshi" affects the!& not you.
2;
!hat doe+ thi+ meanD
;. <!/arrass!ent doesnGt !a7e a lot of sense. Since others are only focusing a s!all "ortion of
there thoughts onto Audging you& your self-Audge!ent is over$hel!ingly larger.
2. .eo"le $ho a""ear to /e !ean or hurtful donGt usually do it intentionally. here are eCce"tions
to this& /ut generally the hurt you feel is a side-effect& not the "rinci"le cause.
3. %elationshi"s are your Ao/ to !aintain. DonGt $ait to /e invited to "arties or for "eo"le to
a""roach you.
)ule Two1 *ew #ocial $eha4iour+ are E6plicit
>asically this rule !eans that !ost the intentions /ehind our actions are hidden. If a "erson is
feeling de"ressed or angry& usually the resulting /ehaviours distort their true feelings. If I feel you
snu//ed !e& I !ight hold !y tongue /ut ignore you later.
he old Ao7e is that $o!en use $ords li7e& Hfine&I and& Hgo ahead&I $hen they really feel the
o""osite. >ut IGve noticed !en do this too in "olite situations& although often not in the sa!e $ay.
he a""lication of this rule is that you need to focus on e!"athy& not Aust hearing a "erson.
De!onstrate trust& /uild ra""ort and learn to "ro/e a /it. >y focusing on e!"athy you can usually
/rea7 a$ay these su/versions and get to the heart of the issue faster.
he other a""lication of this rule is that !ost the ti!e you feel so!ething& no/ody else 7no$s
a/out it. So donGt get angry $hen "eo"le arenGt res"onding to you. If you deceive your thoughts
$ith your actions& donGt get angry $hen you fool "eo"le.

)ule Three1 $eha4iour i+ Lar0ely Dictated by #elfi+h Altrui+m
o say everyone is co!"letely selfish is a gross eCaggeration. hat ignores all the acts of 7indness&
sacrifice and love that !a7e the $orld $or7. >ut I $ould argue that !ost Onot all& /ut !ostP
/ehaviour does $or7 fro! the "rinci"les of selfish altruis!.
Selfish altruis! is /asically $in4$in. It is $here hel"ing you directly or indirectly hel"s !e. here
are a cou"le !ain categories $here this a""lies5
;. Tran+action+ - If I "urchase a car& /oth !yself and the dealer /enefit. I get a vehicle& $hich I
$ant. he dealer gets !oney to i!"rove his lifestyle. his is the "redo!inant for! of selfish
altruis! /et$een "eo"le $ho donGt have e!otional /onds.
2. *amilial - >lood is thic7er than $ater. We are designed to "rotect "eo"le $ho share our genes.
his can so!eti!es shift to$ards eCtre!ely close friends and loved ones.
3. #tatu+ - #el"ing so!eone is a sign of "o$er. 9any s"ecies of "ri!ates $ill offer assistance as
a sign of do!inance. .eo"le act si!ilarly& offering aid to /oost their self-estee! and
re"utation.
@. Implied )eciprocity - 9any relationshi"s are /ased on the idea that if I hel" you& one day you
$ill hel" !e as $ell.
,ccasionally /ehaviour falls outside this grou". :a!eless heroes dying for causes that donGt hel"
their /loodline. Dolunteers devoting their ti!e to$ards hu!anitarian !issions. >ut these are the
!inority& $hereas !ost actions can /e eC"lained /y so!e for! of selfish altruis!.
22
#o$ do you a""ly this ruleJ You understand the !otives of "eo"le and a""eal to the! as if they
$ere selfish. 'ind $ays to hel" "eo"le $ithin these four categories. DonGt eC"ect "eo"le to offer
aid outside of selfish altruis!& it isnGt i!"ossi/le& /ut it isnGt li7ely.

)ule *our1 People Ha4e Poor .emorie+
<ver /een told so!eoneGs na!e at a "arty and then forgot it laterJ Another rule of hu!an
/ehaviour is that "eo"le have trou/le re!e!/ering things. <s"ecially infor!ation Oas youGll recall
in rule oneP that doesnGt a""ly to the!selves. .eo"le are !ore li7ely to re!e!/er your si!ilarities
than your differences Ounless they $ere e!otionally incensed /y the!P.
%ecently I even /ro7e this rule. I !ade arrange!ents to tal7 to a "erson I hadnGt !et /efore on the
"hone. <ven $ith !y nor!ally fool"roof syste! of calendars and to-do lists& a fe$ s"ontaneous
schedule changes caused !e to !iss the call. I 1uic7ly a"ologi+ed and !ade a ne$ arrange!ent.
>ut the fact is !ost "eo"le donGt have organi+ed *D syste!s. .eo"le are forgetful /y nature& so
once again& donGt assu!e !alice or disinterest if so!ething is forgotten. he other side of this rule
is that you can de!onstrate relia/ility /y having a good !e!ory or syste! Oif it doesnGt fail youP.

)ule *i4e1 E4eryone i+ Emotional
.erha"s this is an eCaggeration. >ut the core of the !essage is that "eo"le tend to have stronger
feelings a/out so!ething than they let on. .eo"le $ho regularly have out/ursts of anger&
de"ression or fla!/oyant enthusias! are generally fro$ned u"on in !ost cultures. his es"ecially
a""lies to !en Ofor $o!en trying to figure us outP.
he a""lication of this rule is to not assu!e everything is fine Aust /ecause so!eone isnGt having a
nervous /rea7do$n. We all have our individual "ro/le!s& angst and u"sets that are nor!ally
contained. You donGt need to call "eo"le out on their "rivate dece"tion& /ut /eing sensitive to those
underlying currents gives you an advantage in trying to hel".
he alternate a""lication of this rule is si!ilar to rule t$o. .eo"le generally assu!e everything is
fine unless you Aust had a /lo$-u".

)ule #i61 People are Lonely
his is another /road generali+ation. >ut it is a!a+ing ho$ !any "eo"le $ho see! to have it all&
suffer fro! /outs of loneliness. As social ani!als& I /elieve "eo"le are es"ecially sensitive to any
threats to /eco!ing ostraci+ed. In :eanderthal ti!es& eCile !eant death& so loneliness and the
desire to /e $ith other "eo"le is a strong one.
he a""lication of this rule is that loneliness is fairly co!!on& so in that sense& you really arenGt
alone. I used to /e /othered $hen I felt alone or an outsider in a social grou". Although IG! still
hu!an& IGve found recogni+ing this feeling to /e fairly co!!on as a $ay to !ini!i+e it.


23
)ule #e4en1 Did I .ention People Are #elf(Ab+orbedD
his !ay sound li7e a reiteration of rule one& /ut I /elieve the a""lications eCtend /eyond
relationshi"s and your e!otional state. he fact that "eo"le tend to /e too concerned a/out
the!selves to give you !uch attention& that "eo"le tend to /e lonelier& !ore e!otional and feel
differently than they let on a""lies to ho$ you vie$ the $orld.
If anything this "ers"ective should !a7e you !ore "roactive and inde"endent. ,nce I started really
learning these rules& it !ade far !ore sense that I needed to ta7e charge. >y "lacing your
individual ha""iness in the hands of another "erson Oor "eo"leP& you ignore all these rules and do
so at your o$n "eril.
I li7e to ta7e an o"ti!istic& /ut realistic vie$ of "eo"le. .eo"le $ho are generally try their /est& /ut
!a7e !ista7es and suffer fro! unintended self-a/sor"tion. In other $ords& they are /asically li7e
you.


2@
LA! * ATT)ACTIN 1 >"E#TIN# ,,,

>y5 Aldian .ra7oso

The #ecret

he Secret is a fil! that $as "roduced /y .ri!e i!e .roductions. It is actually a series of fil!s
that focus on the idea of Hhe La$ ,f AttractionI. he "rinci"le is that under the HLa$ of
AttractionI the things that "eo"le feel and thin7 attract real things in life. It ste!s fro! the cos!os
to the "ersonal relationshi"s "eo"le for! $ith "eo"le. he /elief is that these things target
"hysical& e!otional& and "rofessional as"ects of every "ersonGs life& $hether they understand it or
not.

A+5 1 %now what you want and a+5 the uni4er+e for it,

his is $here you need to get clear on $hat it is you $ant to create and visuali+e $hat you $ant as
/eing as ErealE as "ossi/le.

$elie4e 1 *eel and beha4e a+ if the obEect of your de+ire i+ on it+ way,

'ocus your thoughts and your language on $hat it is you $ant to attract. You $ant to feel the
feeling of really E7no$ingE that $hat you desire is on its $ay to you& even if you have to tric7
yourself into /elieving it 8 do it.

)ecei4e 1 $e open to recei4in0 it,

.ay attention to your intuitive !essages& synchronicities& signs fro! the 0niverse to hel" you
along the $ay as assurance you are on the ErightE "ath. As you align yourself $ith the 0niverse and
o"en yourself u" to receiving& the very thing you are $anting to !anifest $ill sho$ u".


!hat i+ it you want in order to ha4e a truly ma0nificent lifeD

What is it in your daily life that you could do& /e& or have that $ould !a7e a difference in the $ay
you eC"erience lifeJ What $ould ta7e your life to the neCt levelJ What do you need Oor $antP to
eC"erience life to the fullestJ

We loo7 at ourselves as hu!an /eingsB /ut $e are also hu!an havings and hu!an doings. What do
you $ant to have in your life to truly !a7e it s"ectacular5 rue friends& a ne$ relationshi"& great
health& "assionJ What do you $ant to do to !a7e your life fun and eCciting5 'ly an air"lane& run a
!arathon& volunteer once a $ee7 at an ani!al shelter& $rite a /oo7J

What $ould you li7e to /e to !a7e a difference in the $orld or to yourself& or your fa!ily and
friends5 A great son& daughter& hus/and or $ifeJ Would you li7e to /e a/undant& loving& forgivingJ


2F
Loo7 at each as"ect of your life and identify $hat you $ant or desire in the follo$ing areas.

)elation+hip+1

What 7ind of relationshi"s do you $ant to create $ith *od& $ith your "arents& children& friends&
co-$or7ers& $ife& hus/and& /oyfriend& girlfriend& and !ost i!"ortantly& yourselfJ #o$ do you
attract the ty"e of relationshi"s that you $ant $ith the "eo"le in your lifeJ #o$ $ould your life
change if your relationshi"s $ere closer& !ore inti!ate& less Audg!ental& !ore trusting& and !ore
lovingJ

Healthy $ody and Life+tyle1

What do you $ant your /ody to loo7 li7eJ #o$ do you $ant to feelJ What do you $ant to $eighJ
Do you $ant to live a healthy lifestyleJ Do you $ant to live a long lifeJ Do you have eCercise
goalsJ Do you $ant to have healthy eating ha/itsJ

'inances and A/undance5

Do you $ant to save !ore !oneyJ Do you $ant to reduce de/tJ Do you $ant to increase your
inco!eJ Do you $ant to create other sources of inco!eJ Do you $ant to have a ne$ house& car&
"iano& /oat& or other thingsJ

#elf(Impro4ement A Awarene++5

Do you $ant a /etter a$areness of $ho you areB $hy you do the things you doB thin7& the thoughts&
you thin7 a/outB react in the $ay you doB Audge yourself and othersB are highly !otivated in so!e
things& /ut lethargic in othersJ Do you $ant to ta7e classes& $or7sho"s& se!inarsJ Do you $ant to
finally get the degree& di"lo!a& certificate& or credentials you have /een thin7ing a/outJ Do you
$ant to read !ore /oo7s on su/Aects for $hich you have a "assionJ

Hobbie+ A Entertainment A *un1

What ho//ies do you have no$ that you $ant to /eco!e /etter atJ What ho//ies $ould you li7e to
/eginB gardening& chess& "ainting& reading& collecting Ocoins& sta!"s& co!ic /oo7s& coo7/oo7s&
etcPJ What $ould you li7e to do for fun and entertain!ent5 Attend a live "erfor!ance featuring
your favourite /ands& fish& or travelJ What $ould you li7e to learn to do for fun5 >allroo!
dancing& golf& tennis& "lay an instru!entJ What $ould you li7e to do Aust once in your life5 Ju!"
out of an air"lane& tal7 in front of a large grou"J Do you $ant to travel and eC"erience nature&
different cultures and sceneryJ

Pa++ion+ A Purpo+e1

What are your "assionsJ What is your "ur"ose in lifeJ An easy $ay to identify this is to loo7 at
$hat you fantasi+e a/out or do in your s"are ti!e /ecause you $ant to do it or love to do it. If you
have a garden in your /ac7 yard and you really enAoy the hard $or7 of !aintaining a garden& then
that is a "assion of yours. If you "lay tennis& golf or /o$l on the $ee7ends& then that is a "assion of
yours. If you enAoy /a/ysitting your granddaughter& or fiCing things around the house& or finding
ne$ reci"es to coo7 fun s"ecial !eals& then that is a "assion of yours.


2L
,nce $e get "ast the /elief that $e can have only one "assion or only one "ur"ose in life& it is
easier to see that $e have !any "assions and the only $or7 $e have to do is to !a7e ti!e for
the!& /e "resent $hile $e arc doing the!& and enAoy& enAoy& enAoy) ,ur "ur"ose in life is to live to
our "otential& eC"erience love and life to the fullest& /eco!e a$are of $ho! $e are and /e true to
our soul. Whatever for! that ta7es in your life is right for you.











2=


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Starting at the to"& $here the star "oints to$ard the s7y. his I refer to as the S.I%I0AL direction
$hich re"resents the gift of 0:IY. his is $here the !ystical nature of love resides& it is $here
you $ill discover $hether there is a real /ond /et$een the t$o of you or not. 0nity !eans that
so!ething !a7es /oth "eo"le feel that they rather /e together than a"art& they /oth /elieve that
$hen they are together they are li7e MoneM. 0nity is used to descri/e $hat ha""ens $hen "eo"le
/ond and eC"erience the $orld differentlyB they are no longer Aust t$o individuals /ut& have /eco!e
a unit& a "air& a cou"le. :o$ they loo7 at the $orld differently and the $orld sees the! differently as
$ell. his is a social archety"e& a religious one& and a legal one $hen t$o "eo"le get !arried. We
/eco!e a$are of this notion of /eing a cou"le fro! childhood& ho"efully gro$ing u" in a Mfa!ilyM
ourselves. he conce"ts of love& fa!ily& !arriage& ro!ance& ha""iness eCist throughout every as"ect
of our society& in every culture& across every nation and around the $orld. he i!ages that these
$ords create are si!ilar regardless $here one loo7s. So $hy is it so hard to find and /uild a
successful "artnershi" of love and ha""inessJ here are !any reasons that !a7e it truly difficult /ut&
no one can clai! that it is i!"ossi/le.
22
Anyone can find 0:IY& love and ha""iness. It $ould hel" if you $ould have a !a" of ho$ to get
there. he SA% holds all the 7eys you need to find your $ay. he reason 0:IY is at the to" is
that it is the MliftingM energy for a relationshi". It !ay /e true that $hat attracts t$o "eo"le together
is often their "hysical a""earance& so!e sort of instinctual drive gets engaged /ut& soon after getting
McloseM /oth individuals loo7 at each other and /egin to as7 !ore serious 1uestions5 M-ould I live the
rest of !y life $ith that "erson& do I really love the!JM and that starts the !ystical in1uiry a/out
/eco!ing /onded to the other "erson. hat is $hen 0:IY /eco!es so i!"ortant. he /est thing
t$o "eo"le can find is Elove at first sightE $hen /oth feel the eCcite!ent of attraction e1ually.
,ne ar! of the SA% refers to :0%0%A:-<. he !eaning of this ter! is found in ho$ each
"erson ta7es care of the other $ith res"ect to their "hysical needs& e!otional ones as $ell as the
!aterial and s"iritual needs. Love a$a7ens this urge for you to either /e M!aternalM or M"aternalM as
the case !ay to$ard your "artner. he 7ey $ord here is nurturing& sharing res"onsi/ilities and
hel"ing each other achieve !ore in life. rue love creates a desire in /oth individuals to su""ort
each other through all $al7s of life. his does not necessarily have to /e along traditional lines
rather& it often re1uires that /oth "eo"le see7 uni1ue and s"ecial $ays to !a7e their "artner ha""y&
healthy& safe and "ros"erous. 9ore than anything else if $e /eco!e a$are of our !ateEs "otentials
then it is u" to us to hel" the! strive for and reach those "otentials. :urturance refers to the
direction $e "ush and "ull our love in. <veryone needs a "ush or a "ull so!eti!e& es"ecially if it is
fro! your "artner.
he neCt ar! refers to the as"ect of S#A%I:* in the Aoys and "ains of life fro! the level of the
!ind& /ody and s"irit. his reflects /oth individualEs a/ility and desire to loo7 at the $orld through
each others eyes& es"ecially in ter!s of the "ast& "resent and future. he 7ey $ord is shared vision.
his is $hat !a7es each "artner feel s"ecial and valua/le to the other. It is oneEs interest in their
o"inion& their eC"erience of life that hel"s you feel $hole and satisfied. his as"ect is eC"ressed
through our curiosity a/out ho$ our "artner sees& hears or feels so!ething. It is not necessary that
$e share si!ilar vie$s /ut that /oth "artners have a genuine interest in the otherEs eC"erience.
#o$ever& it is i!"ortant that $e share si!ilar drea!s and goals for the future. In this !anner /oth
"artners "artici"ate in the construction of the $orld they live in and this allo$s for cele/ration of life
and that !a7es the difficult !o!ents "ass /y !ore easily.
hen one leg of the star refers to -,9.AI>ILIY this as"ect reveals ho$ !any $ays t$o "eo"le
fit together& first of all in /ody - ho$ great is their seCual che!istry& then socially& intellectually&
financially& e!otionally& and s"iritually. When t$o "eo"le have really great energy together& they
rarely get /ored or tired of each other& there is a constant strea! of eCcite!ent /et$een the!.
-o!"ati/ility refers to this sense of ho$ $ell t$o "eo"le !iC together& es"ecially in !a7ing love&
that is $here $e ho"efully eC"erience the eChilaration of that instinctual "assion for life. -he!istry
is "hysically !anifested in love !a7ing& this is $here the connection can /e !ost concrete. here
are !any i!"ortant factors. In general& the a""etite and "assion are either in synch or not. he
1uestions are Mho$ !uch seCM does each of you $ant - need& on a !onthly /asisB and secondly& does
the "assion !atch /oth "artners. If there are /ig differences in these t$o as"ects& then donEt fool
yourself thin7ing that you have great che!istry& it !ay not really /e.
2Q
he other leg of the star refers to '0L'ILL9<: $hich re"resents the things $e do for loveEs sa7e
that "ro!ote a sense achieve!ent $ithin the relationshi". In our everyday life $e try to !aster the
situation& $e $ant to do!inate to overco!e /ut in a relationshi" it is !ore often a !atter to !a7e
the other "erson ha""y to "lease the!. he 7ey $ord
here is S0%%<:D<% to your "artner $ith the
eC"ectation that it $ill eC"ress your sense of love for
the!. It is not a !atter of co!"ro!ise& $hich has its
"lace in the other as"ects of the love star& here
surrender refers to the co!"lete giving in to the
otherEs needs or desires for the sa7e of love. When
one surrenders it is not al$ays easy /ut it should /e
$ith Aoy& to fulfil the other "artnerEs dee"est needs.
his as"ect also re"resents each "artnerEs confidence
to rely on one another& to /e co!forta/le de"ending
on each other. With this as"ect the relationshi" is
assured the survival through all sorts of difficulties.
All together& this re"resents the love star& and $hen
each of these directions is satisfied a!ong t$o "eo"le
then they o/viously share a tre!endous "artnershi".
If /oth agree that they fit together& that each as"ect is
"resent and fulfilled then they have the necessary ingredients to !a7e their love $or7 and enAoy a
lasting relationshi". hese are rare. <ven if one /elieves that they share every thing $ith their
"artner& this !eans that they have the "otential to succeed. A great relationshi" re1uires a lot of $or7
and ti!e& so!ething "eo"le these days are not al$ays eager to invest enough of. ,nce these /asic
1ualities are fulfilled then /egins a life of "assion& Aoy& adventure& eCcite!ent& tran1uillity& love and
fa!ily. *ood luc7)
-ounselling can hel" /oth "artners /etter a""reciate $hat you can /e grateful
for and /e a$are of $hat is !issing. hat infor!ation is vital to decide $hat to
do& if "ossi/le& i!"rove the relationshi" or if not& $or7 to dissolve it a!ica/ly. I
have hel"ed !any cou"les resolve their conflicts and find greater ha""iness. I
have also given !y su""ort to the cou"les $ho deter!ined that they cannot go
on and !ust change their relationshi". hese are the !ost sensitive issues and
difficult things $e !ust deal $ith. I have the eC"erience to hel" you /etter
understand and deal $ith your relationshi". -all !y office to discuss your
situation to see if you $ould li7e to have !e hel" you $or7 on it.

33
Affirmation+
I a! grateful for discovering the /est !eans to reach !y drea!s and goals.
I reali+e that I a! ready to enAoy life to the fullest and find "eace of !ind.
When I focus !y attention on "ositive "ossi/ilities I achieve the /est solutions.
I a! glad to /e finding $ays to i!"rove !y "hysical and e!otional $ell /eing.
I a! grateful that I $as /orn $ith !any gifts and talents for !e to share.
<ach day I learn ne$ $ays to create and eC"ress !y uni1ue a/ilities.
<very day I cele/rate !y gro$ing confidence and deter!ination to succeed)
When I do $orthy things I earn the res"ect of others and feel good.
>y utili+ing !y rational !ind together $ith !y intuition I !a7e greater "rogress.
As I eC"ress !y gratitude& I can envision the goals I a! achieving.
9oving for$ard and u"$ard everyday sy!/oli+es the Aoy of !y destiny.
I ta7e advantage of every o""ortunity to reali+e !y true "otentials.
I a! grateful to /e ins"ired to achieve !y ulti!ate goals in this life.
It is great to feel the energy $ith a clear vision to see the "ath to !y goals.
9y !otivation and deter!ination constantly "ush !e to reach !y goals.
I a! glad !y !ind has the a/ility to focus and concentrate on !y "ur"ose.
It is a!a+ing ho$ "o$erful !y !ind is $hen I $or7 deli/erately on !y future.
I a! confident that !y life is auto!atically attracted to $hat is good for !e.
<verything I decide to do has an i!"ortant reason and "ur"ose.
I value !y ti!e very highly and use every !inute effectively.
Love is the source of !y strength and ha""iness.
Whenever I s!ile !y face lights u" $ith "ositive energy)
9y 1uestions al$ays direct !e to achieve the !ost in the long run.
<ach day I learn ne$ $ays to create and eC"ress !y uni1ue a/ilities.
<veryday I ta7e the ti!e to eCercise& rest& eat right and cleanse !yself.
I a! glad to attract the !ost interesting& "o$erful and caring "eo"le into !y life)
I acce"t !y challenges as great lessons to !otivate !e to reach !y goals.
I a""reciate the outstanding 1ualities I $as /orn $ith.
I recogni+e that I a! a uni1ue and very s"ecial "erson)
oday I o/serve !y "rogress in fulfilling !y "lans and drea!s)
I a! grateful to have /een ins"ired to achieve !y ulti!ate goals in this life.


3;

.a+terin0 the Art of Life and the #cience of #ucce++F
I /elieve everyone is /orn $ith uni1ue talents& gifts& a large variety of "ersonal resources and a
s!aller nu!/er of li!itations. <very "erson has drea!s and eC"ectations so!e of $hich co!e true&
others never do. #o$ fast and ho$ far you "rogress in reali+ing all your "otentials de"ends directly
on $hat you do and ho$ you do it.
I have found that it is Aust as i!"ortant to have $hat it ta7es to succeed as it is to have $hat it ta7es
to co"e $ith those te!"orary set/ac7s $e all !ust endure. 9ost "eo"le are /etter at one of these
than the other. hose $ho learn to !aster /oth these s7ills Oachieve!ent and ada"tationP discover
that life /eco!es easier to con1uer and co"e $ith.
Throu0hout life- thi+ become+ your Gue+t for fulfilment and the art of li4in0,
We already 7no$ the "roven ste"s others have used to succeed at the ga!e of life. Whether you
!ust overco!e illnesses& /ad ha/its& various "ersonal o/stacles or if you $ant to achieve greater
ha""iness& $ealth& creativity& $isdo! and har!ony in life& there are !any things you can do to
succeed. Increasing your a$areness and understanding of yourself and life "re"ares you for the !ost
a!a+ing Aourney. hose individuals $ho recogni+e life as an o""ortunity to learn and eC"erience the
fantastic $onders of the $orld engage in this 1uest $ith "assion. hey discover the "o$er of their
!ind to esca"e the "ri!itive instinctual nature that do!inates !ost "eo"le $ith fear or anger and
allo$s the! to transfor! these lo$er i!"ulses into creative eC"ression of their higher& s"iritual
nature. Anyone can eC"erience fulfil!ent and ha""iness& it is not reserved for Aust so!e "eo"le& its
for everyone.
In the larger "ers"ective& I see "sychology as /oth the science and art of $or7ing $ith the !ind&
/ody& and s"irit of the individual. I do !y /est to hel" each individual develo" the s7ills and o/tain
the 7no$ledge to ada"t or achieve. ,nce you 7no$ the science of success& the s"ecific ste"s you
!ust ta7e to reach your goals& then you !ust also develo" the art of life& relying on your inner
$isdo! or intuition to hel" you ada"t to life !ost effectively. hese t$o s7ills together assure you
the greatest fulfil!ent.
'e$ "ro/le!s ever go a$ay /y the!selves although !any "eo"le are $illing to $ait a long ti!e
thin7ing they !ight. I li7e to suggest that see7ing "rofessional hel" on a "ro/le! is intelligent& $ill
get rid of it sooner& and let you get on $ith life. I enAoy $or7ing $ith "eo"le fro! every $al7 of life&
fro! the very affluent and "o$erful to young students struggling. I have clients fro! nearly every
corner of our $orld and found that the sa!e "ro/le!s cause stress to us all. -onse1uently& I have
develo"ed !y o$n eclectic a""roach to teach you ho$ to re!ove o/stacles and "ro!ote "ositive
gro$th.
So!e "eo"le !ay $ant to eC"lore their lives and various issues or relationshi"s in greater de"th.
his can /e a very re$arding "rocess. -ertain "eo"le $ho $ish to Aourney farther in the "sychic
s"here !ay choose to eC"lore "ast lives or learn ho$ to !editate and reach higher states of
consciousness. I 7no$ of no li!its on the insight and re$ards that an individual can attain in the
"ursuit of 7no$ledge.
32
THE TH)EE LE&EL# * THIN%IN'
THE P!E) * P")P#E

htt"544$$$.enotalone.co!4article4FQF2.ht!l

/y .eter S. e!es& .hD

he .o$er of .ur"ose /egins $ith a si!"le /ut re!ar7a/le state!ent5 Mhe !ore you focus on
hel"ing others& the !ore you $ill succeed in reaching your o$n goals.M .eter S. e!es /uilds on
this funda!ental insight to share a si!"le "lan for living $ith the truest and !ost enduring 7ind of
ha""iness.

At the heart of he .o$er of .ur"ose are the Mthree levels of thin7ing.M At the first level& $e as7&
Who a! IJ and What do I $antJ At the second level& $e as7& Who do other "eo"le thin7 I a!J
#o$ do I loo7 to the!J >ut the real !agic ha""ens $hen $e hit the third level& forgetting a/out
ourselves and as7ing the 1uestions that lend a "o$erful sense of "ur"ose to our lives5 #o$ do
others loo7 to the!selvesJ #o$ can I hel" others /eco!e the "eo"le they $ant to /eJ

o hel" us along the $ay& e!es& $ho teaches hu!anities at -olu!/ia 0niversity& dra$s on the
$isdo! of great thin7ers including Aristotle& SVren Kier7egaard& and A/raha! LincolnB the life
lessons of great achievers ranging fro! 9other eresa to 9ichael JordanB and ho!e truths heEs
gathered fro! his "arents& his grand"arents& and his three children. 'ro! all these sources and
fro! his o$n life of great "ersonal acco!"lish!ent& e!es identifies the essential 7no$ledge that
/rings "eo"le ha""iness and success. #e cites AristotleEs notion that ha""iness is not a
"sychological state /ut a !oral one& resulting fro! doing good in the $orld. e!es also /elieves
in the "ivotal i!"ortance of trust and tea!-/uilding in every area of life& fro! the fa!ily to the
$or7"lace to the street corner.

he .o$er of .ur"ose is a !a" for finding the confidence and "o$er& the o""ortunities and
occasions& and K !ost i!"ortant K the techni1ues and strategies for centring your relationshi"s
and $or7 on hel"ing others. It is a /oo7 $ith a "oint of vie$5 the clearest "ath to your o$n success
and ha""iness lies in hel"ing others get to $here they $ant to go.

9a7e the lea" fro! as7ing& M$ho a! I& and $hat do I $antJM to as7ing that !ost "o$erful
1uestion of all K Mho$ do others see the!selves& and ho$ can I hel" the! feel stronger and !ore
successfulJM

*a!es are "layed in all 7inds of "laces K s"orts stadiu!s& /ac7yards& offices& classroo!s&
7itchens& and dining roo!s. >ut ga!es are $on in only one "lace K in the !ind of the $inning
"layer. hatEs $hy 9ichael Jordan $as consistently /etter than the tallest "layer in the :ational
>as7et/all Association every year he "layed K having /etter "hysical tools to $or7 $ith $as not
enough to /eat a "layer li7e Jordan& thin7ing at a higher level. hatEs $hy so!e sales"eo"le
consistently sell !ore K of the sa!e stuff to the sa!e "eo"le K than the rest of their colleagues.
hatEs $hy David sle$ *oliath& and thatEs $hy your "ersonal "ath for your success /egins right
/et$een your ears.

#ereEs the fact5 ho$ $e thin7 is the 7ey to ho$ $e live. ItEs the 7ey to your ha""iness& the 7ey to
your "ersonal goodness& and the 7ey to your success.

33
<ast Dersus West in the .ursuit of #a""iness

,ne useful !odel of o/servation on ho$ "eo"le thin7 co!es in the classic descri"tion of the
difference /et$een <astern thin7ing and Western thin7ing. >egin $ith the o/servation that
unha""iness is the "roduct of un!et desires. <astern thin7ing says& change your desires to !atch
$hat you already have& and you $ill /eco!e ha""y. Western thin7ing says& change the $orld to fit
your desires& and you $ill /e ha""y. If you are unha""y /ecause you live in a tiny house and $ant
a /igger ho!e& the traditional <astern vie$ $ould /e to change your desire so that you $ant no
!ore than you already have. he Western vie$ $ould /e to go out and /uild a /igger house& at
al!ost any cost.

hereEs so!e $isdo! in this !odel& /ut the $orld $e live in today is no longer easily divided
/et$een <ast and WestB each tradition has dra$n on the other for decades no$& and the ha/its and
"atterns of thin7ing of each have /lended together in i!"ortant $ays. And in !y eC"erience& the
!ost successful "eo"le have al$ays co!/ined ele!ents of /oth traditions in their thin7ing K they
e!/race the a!/ition and out$ard focus of the West as $ell as the "atience and hu!ility of the
<ast.

We all 7no$ "eo"le $ho are filled $ith the Western a!/ition to go out and change the $orld.
9any succeed& at least no$ and then& /y "ushing against the forces of the $orld and resha"ing
the!. >ut Aust a/out all of the! also fail no$ and then K /ecause they co!e face-to-face $ith
"eo"le& ideas& or "arts of the "hysical $orld that are si!"ly too strong to /e !oved. And $e all
7no$ "eo"le $ho are filled $ith <astern "atience and hu!ility& ready to resha"e their o$n desires
to fill the $orld. At ti!es& this a""roach to life is "o$erfully re$arding& $ith the u"s and do$ns of
the eCternal $orld softened /y a "hiloso"hical detach!ent fro! eCternal things. >ut ho$ !any
o""ortunities to !a7e "ositive change in the $orld sli" /y& ho$ !any chances to have a real
i!"act on the $orld are !issed& /ecause of this detach!entJ

>ut i!agine the !an or $o!an $ho loo7s at the $orld and understands& this is $hen I should
"ush& here is the o""ortunity to resha"e the $orld in so!e s!all $ay& and 7no$s too $hen to say&
here is $hen I !ust ste" /ac7& here is $hen !y desire has to yield to "atience. he real "o$er lies
in /eing a/le to see /oth visions K /oth the a!/ition of the West and the hu!ility and "atience of
the <ast K and /eing a/le to e!"loy each $hen it /est suits the challenge at hand.

>eyond <ast and West to the hree Levels of hin7ing

'or the $orld $e live in today& the /est !odel of hu!an thin7ing IEve co!e across is /uilt of three
levels or stages&; and it dra$s fro! the /est of /oth the <ast and the West.

At the first level& the !ost i!"ortant 1uestion for understanding the $orld and ta7ing action is
#o$ do I feelJ or #o$ do I loo7 to !yselfJ .icture a teenager $a7ing u" in the !orning and
saying to his "arent& IE! not going to school /ecause I donEt feel $ell. ,r the $or7er leaving a note
on her des7 right after lunch K *one ho!e& not feeling $ell. hatEs level one. #o$ you feel a/out
yourself is al!ost all you care a/out.

,ne level higher& the teen turns to his "arent and as7s& Do I loo7 as /ad as I feelJ ,r the $or7er
decides not Aust to leave $or7& /ut to go tal7 $ith a colleague and say& Wo$& IE! not feeling $ell.
In re"ly& the "arent !ay say& You loo7 fine to !e. ,r the colleague !ay say& You should sit do$n
and let !e have a loo7 at you. his is the second level& $here you "rogress fro! as7ing #o$ do I
feelJ or #o$ do I loo7 to !yselfJ to #o$ do others feel a/out !eJ or #o$ do I loo7 to othersJ
3@
his is a great lea" for$ard K the individual is /eginning to reali+e that other "eo"le are
i!"ortant& and that the $ays other "eo"le see the $orld are i!"ortant K /ut itEs not re!otely as
"o$erful an outloo7 as the neCt level u"& the third level.

At the third level& the central 1uestion is not a/out ho$ I feel& or a/out ho$ others feel a/out !e&
/ut a/out ho$ they feel a/out the!selves. hat !ight see! li7e a s!all ste" for$ard& /ut it canEt
/e overesti!ated. hin7 a/out a sales situation K at the first level& the seller is focused on doing a
good Ao/ on her o$n ter!sB at the second level& sheEs focused on !a7ing a good i!"ression on the
sales "ros"ect. >ut at the third level& the sales"erson herself !ight as $ell /e invisi/le& /ecause she
has no interest in loo7ing good& /ut only in hel"ing the sales "ros"ect loo7 good in his o$n eyes&
and reach his o$n goals.

,r thin7 a/out that teenager $ho doesnEt $ant to go to school. he teen $a7es u" and says MI donEt
feel $ellM at level one. At level t$o& heEs a/le to hear a "arent say Myou donEt loo7 sic7 to !e.M >ut
at the third level& heEs as7ing a/out ho$ other "eo"le feel and discovers the /est "ossi/le !otive to
get out of /ed into the $orld5 Mother "eo"le are de"ending on !e today.M he !otive to get u" and
out is not a/out $hat !atters to !e& /ut $hat !atters to others.

In this is so!e irony& and so!e !agic. ,nce you focus on others in this $ay K as a friend& as a
citi+en& as a !anager& as a colleague K you find that you yourself /enefit as !uch or !ore than
the others youEre trying to hel". 'ocusing on the sales "ros"ectEs needs instead of your o$n& you
eventually rea" the /enefits of greater sales K !ore !oney& !ore res"ect& !ore confidence.
'ocusing on getting u" out of /ed /ecause you understand that you can hel" others K and $hat a
transfor!ing "ositive feeling that state!ent carries $ith it5 I can hel" others K you find that you
/eco!e healthier and ha""ier. You hel" yourself as !uch as you hel" others& /ecause your life
/eco!es infused $ith the "ur"ose of doing good.

9y grandfather is a $onderful eCa!"le of this effect. A self-educated !an& he $or7ed !ost of his
life in Ao/s that did not satisfy his intellect or his desire to hel" others& /ut in his free ti!e he $as
devoted to "olitical causes that he thought could i!"rove the lives of !any. #e $as a socialist and
an anti$ar activist Othough a veteran of World War II hi!selfP. Although so!e !ight argue that
the s"ecifics of his "lan for i!"roving the $orld $ere !isguided& his "ersonal sacrifices to hel"
!a7e "ositive change filled his life $ith a sense of "ur"ose. I had the strong feeling that $ell into
his late eighties& he continued to $a7e u" in the !orning and get out of /ed in order to stri7e a
/lo$ against $ar& inAustice& and "overty every day. hat 7e"t hi! healthy and engaged $ith the
$orld $hile !any others his age sli""ed out of touch. >ut !y grandfather had a reason to live and
to stay strong5 he felt he $as needed& and that he could hel" others.

A $o!an I 7no$ in :e$ #a!"shire has a si!ilar story to tell. She calls herself a co!!unity
activist& having $or7ed for years to get the local govern!ent in her to$n to "rovide !ore services
for young fa!ilies and their children. SheEs s"earheaded drives to create a free day-care centre& to
offer !edical services for s!all children& and to give "arents a safe and co!forta/le "u/lic "lace to
/ring their children $hen the long :e$ <ngland $inter drags on. Sundays& she sets u" out front of
the local churches $ith her folding ta/le& raising !oney and getting signatures on "etitions.
Wee7days& she sets u" in front of schools and the one /ig food !ar7et in her s!all to$n. <veryone
7no$s her& and sheEs got no shortage of critics as $ell as staunch friends K in s!all :e$ <ngland
to$ns& there tend to /e "lenty of sce"tics a/out "roviding "u/lic services& es"ecially if they re1uire
taC dollars to /e s"ent. >ut this energetic $o!an& a !other of t$o young children& says she loves
her ene!ies. M$o things that !otivate !e&M she says& Mare hel"ing the little /oys and girls $ho
need the /asics and donEt necessarily get the! at ho!e& and "roving to those fol7s $ho donEt thin7
3F
$e ought to do !ore that of course $e ought to do !ore. And I say this5 than7 goodness for those
fools $ho donEt $ant to hel") hey 7ee" !e fighting. If I didnEt have such good and "ro"er
ene!ies& ho$ $ould I 7no$ I $as on the right trac7JM

She gets a good head of stea! going as she tal7s. -learly& this is a $o!an $ho sees her life as
filled $ith i!"ortant $or7. She is a hero in her o$n eyes K sheEs got to /e strong to hel" the
children in her area& and so she is strong. -ause and effect. >ecause she as7s herself the
funda!ental level-three 1uestions every day K #o$ are others livingJ What do they thin7 of as
their greatest needsJ K sheEs reaching a!/itious goals& !a7ing an enor!ous contri/ution to the
lives of others& and filling her life $ith high "ur"ose.

he Story of <d and 'red5 uning in to What ,ther .eo"le -are A/out 9ost

We all $ant to /e our o$n heroes& and hear our o$n stories. If you gras" this truth& you can use it
to reach your o$n goals.

A fa!ous story a/out the advertising /usiness offers another gli!"se of the $ay the three levels of
thin7ing $or7.

$o advertising !anagers are arguing a/out the si+e of the ty"e in an ad theyEre "lanning to run in
a ne$s"a"er. ,ne of the! K call hi! <d K $ants to save !oney /y using s!aller si+e letters in
the ad. S!aller letters !ean a s!aller& less eC"ensive ad overall. he other K call hi! 'red K
says& MYou do"e& you need /ig letters to catch "eo"leEs attention. If $e use s!aller letters no one
$ill sto" and read the ad.M <d says& M:onsense. If your !essage is the right !essage and you say it
clearly& everyone $ill read the ad.M 'redEs not convinced. <d "ro"oses a $ager5 MIEll /et you a
thousand dollars I can run an ad in to!orro$Es "a"er that youEll need a !agnifying glass to read&
and no !atter ho$ hard you try& you $onEt /e a/le to resist reading every last $ord.M 'red s!ells
easy !oney and ta7es the /et. he neCt day& the "a"er co!es out and there on the /ac7 "age is a
/loc7 of tiny ty"e. 'red laughs. M,K& "al&M he says. M.ay u" K IE! not reading it. I couldnEt even if
I $anted to K the ty"eEs too s!all.M MWell& ,K& if you really thin7 you $onEt. >ut you should
7no$ $hatEs in the ad. ItEs all a/out you. ItEs your life story.M ry as he !ight& 'red could not resist&
and /efore the day $as over heEd gone out and /ought a !agnifying glass and read all a/out
hi!self over and over again.

'red $as stuc7 at the first level of thin7ing K he $as in love $ith his o$n story& as !ost of us are.
<d understood that and used his insight to $in the /et and to save !oney on advertising /y $riting
ads that used insight into the three levels of thin7ing to save on s"ace. If you have no insight& your
voice has to /e loud to /e heard K and your ads need to /e /ig. >ut if you have lots of insight&
your voice can /e 1uieter and !ore civil& and your ads can /e s!aller and less eC"ensive.

<d $as at the third level K he understood that other "eo"le didnEt $ant to hear a/out the "roducts
he had to sell& or a/out hi! as a sales"erson& /ut $ere consu!ed /y their o$n concerns a/out
the!selves and their o$n "ersonal struggles. #e as7ed the right level-three 1uestions K #o$ do
other "eo"le loo7 to the!selvesJ What do they care a/out !ostJ <d understood that if he could
connect the sale of his "roducts to those "ersonal concerns& his ads $ould /e !ore effective and
heEd sell !ore.

3L
he Story of 9arty <delston5 #o$ Second-Level .ride #o//les the -ritics of Successful .eo"le

his is the story of a successful /usiness!an $ith no shortage of critics. >ut his critics $ere at
level one and level t$o. 9arty $as at level three. hatEs $hy the critics $ere $or7ing for 9arty&
instead of the other $ay around.

I first heard the story of <d and 'red fro! 9arty <delston& the founder of a co!"any called
>oardroo!& Inc. >oardroo! "u/lishes the ne$sletter >otto! Line4.ersonal& a title that has at
ti!es had !ore than one !illion "aid su/scri/ers. I first $ent to $or7 for 9arty $hen I $as
nineteen& and the eC"erience $as tre!endous. It $as a gli!"se into /ig-ti!e "u/lishing and also a
fantastic eC"osure to a successful entre"reneur Aust hitting his stride as his co!"any $as reaching
sales of a/out W3F !illion a year. 9arty is so!ething of a legend in the "u/lishing /usiness& an
idiosyncratic !an $ith an iron gri" on all the details of his co!"any& re1uiring "ersonal a""roval
of every $ord "u/lished in his ne$sletters and /oo7s and signing off directly on Aust a/out every
dollar s"ent. hroughout the day& secretaries /ring 9arty healthy snac7s of sliced fruit& $hich he
generally eats in the !iddle of !eetings& $ith his fingers.

,ne of 9artyEs great talents is hiring /right and hungry "eo"le for 7ey Ao/s. 9any have "u/lishing
eC"erience in !ore traditional fir!s and so!e are "ut off /y 9artyEs highly "ersonal a""roach and
his total control of !anage!ent at every level in the co!"any.


3=



/y %a//i :oah Wein/erg

The key to happiness is to appreciate
what you have. Sounds simple. So why
are so many people unhappy?

THE #EC)ET T HAPPINE##

he first thing to understand is ha""iness is generated /y you. :o/ody and no thing can !a7e you
ha""y. here is a difference /et$een ha""iness and a change in your !ood. Your !ood changes
all the ti!e and is situational.
#o$ do you !a7e yourself ha""yJ You have to get in touch $ith the real you. Without really
7no$ing yourself at the dee"est level& ho$ can you 7no$ $hat !a7es you ha""yJ If you have
s"ent your life "leasing others and /eing less genuine /ecause you fear $hat others thin7& then
there is so!e $or7 that needs to /e done in the area of self-estee!.
When you /eco!e real& everything tends to fall in line /ecause you chose to only do $hat is in
align!ent $ith the real you. When you >< $ho you are& you D, $hat !a7es you ha""y& and you
#AD< $hat you $ant in your life.
32

Another i!"ortant ingredient to ha""iness is /eing in the !o!ent. his is so!eti!es easier said
than done. It ta7es "ractice. ItGs easy to get lost in the thoughts a/out the "ast regrets& "ast guilt& or
$ishing things $ere right no$ they $ay they $ere then. At the sa!e ti!e& anCieties and fears
a/out the future is no $ay to live either. All you really have and can feel ha""y a/out is this
!o!ent right no$.
%ecogni+e that ha""iness is a choice you !a7e. It is not an end result. It is "art of the "rocess. You
donGt achieve ha""iness /ecause of so!ething. You si!"ly are ha""y or you donGt. If you havenGt
felt ha""y in a$hile& as7 yourself& HWhat a! I thin7ing a/outJI >e honest.
Acce"t others realities& even if it isnGt true for you. %ecogni+e that it is their o"inion. #aving this
high level of acce"tance $ill !a7e a huge difference in your level of ha""iness. :o one and
nothing else can choose ho$ you feel.
Disci"line yourself to /e ha""y. Do so!ething to lift your s"irits each day. You have to raise your
o$n vi/ration.
A young !an once ca!e to !eet !e in Jerusale!. #e had an unusually ha""y dis"osition& so I
as7ed hi! $hatEs his secret. #e told !e5
*+hen I as ,, years old, I received a gift of happiness from -od.
*I as riding my bicycle hen a strong gust of ind ble me onto the ground into the path of an
oncoming truck. The truck ran over me and cut off my leg.
*.s I lay there bleeding, I reali/ed that I might have to live the rest of my life ithout a leg. 0o
depressing1 #ut then I reali/ed that being depressed on2t get my leg back. 3o I decided right then
and there not to aste my life despairing.
*+hen my parents arrived at the hospital they ere shocked and grieving. 3o I told them$ 2I2ve
already adapted. "o you also have to get used to this.2
*4ver since then, I see my friends getting upset over little things$ their bus came late, they got a
bad grade on a test, somebody insulted them. #ut I 5ust en5oy life.*

#ound+ +imple- doe+nHt itD #o why are +o many people unhappyD

At age ;;& this young !an attained the clarity that it is a $aste of energy to focus on $hat you are
!issing. And that the 7ey to ha""iness is to ta7e "leasure in $hat you have. Sounds si!"le& doesnEt
itJ So $hy are so !any "eo"le unha""yJ


Happine++ I+ A #tate f .ind

Western society co!!only "erceives ha""iness as the outco!e of $hat you achieve and ac1uire.
)y hole life ould improve if I had a ne car...
I 5ust need a better 5ob and then I can rela6 and be happy.
If only I met the right girl...

You get the car and $hat ha""ensJ 'or a $hole $ee7 youEre $al7ing on air. hen you go right
/ac7 to /eing unha""y. Sound fa!iliarJ
3Q
Judais! says5 M#a""iness is not a ha""ening. #a""iness is a state of !ind. You can have
everything in the $orld and still /e !isera/le. ,r you can have relatively little and feel un/ounded
Aoy.
*+ho is rich7 The one ho appreciates hat he has.* 8Talmud 9 Pirkei .vot :$,;
,nce you !aster the art of noticing& a""reciating and consciously enAoying $hat you already have&
then you $ill al$ays /e ha""y.

OcP 233= Dictoria Wi+ell All %ights %eserved

Appreciate !hat You Ha4e I And Trouble+ $ecome In+i0nificant

<ou are standing on the =>th floor of the 4mpire 3tate #uilding, ga/ing at the cityscape. 3uddenly
a rather large man brusquely pushes past you, renches the indo open and announces his
intention to 5ump.
<ou yell out$ *3top1 &on2t do it1*
The si69foot9five figure perched by the indo turns to you and menacingly says, *Try to stop me
and I2ll take you ith me1*
*?mm... "o problem, sir. 0ave a safe trip. .ny last ords7*
0e says, *'et me tell you my troubles. )y ife left me, my kids on2t talk to me, I lost my 5ob and
my pet turtle died. 3o hy should I go on living7*
3uddenly you have a flash of inspiration.
*3ir, close your eyes for a minute and imagine that you are blind. "o colours, no sights of children
playing, no fields of floers, no sunset. "o imagine that suddenly there2s a miracle. <ou open
your eyes and your vision is restored1 .re you going to 5ump 9 or ill you stick around for a eek
to en5oy the sights7*
*I2ll stay for a eek.*
*#ut hat happened to all the troubles7*
*.h, I guess they2re not so bad. I can see1*
An eye/all is $orth at least five !illion dollars. You have t$o of the!J YouEre rich.
If you really a""reciate your eyesight& then the other !iseries are nothing.
Yet if you ta7e it all for granted& then nothing in life $ill ever truly give you Aoy.
.i+conception+ n The )oad To Happine++
Misconception #1:

"Once I know the tools for being happy, then it will work like magic"

DonEt eC"ect the results to co!e auto!atically. It is "ossi/le to intellectually understand ho$ to
attain ha""iness& yet not "ut it into "ractice.
In fact& !any "eo"le !ight actually "refer to /e co!forta/le and unha""y& rather than endure the
disco!fort of changing their ha/its.
Just as learning any ne$ s7ill re1uires effort& you have to /e $illing to invest serious effort to
achieve real ha""iness.
@3
Misconception #!:
"If I become content an" satisfie" with what I ha#e, I$ll lose my moti#ation to achie#e more"
#a""iness doesnEt drain your energy. It adds !ore)
.sk a happy person$ *I have a boat. &o you ant to go fishing7*
0e2ll say$ *-reat1 'et2s go1*
"o ask someone ho is depressed$ *@2mon, let2s go fishing1*
0e says, *I2m tired. )aybe tomorro. .nd anyay, it might rain...*
#a""y "eo"le are energetic and a!/itious. hereEs never enough ti!e to do everything they $ant
to do.
Misconception #%:
&appiness is optional If I want to be "epresse", that$s my own prerogati#e
. beautiful 3unday afternoon. <ou2re at the park having a picnic ith your friends.
3uddenly the air is pierced by one person complaining$ *+ho forgot the forks7 It2s too hot for
volleyball. I ant to go home already.*A
You have an o/ligation to /e ha""y $hen your !ood is negatively affecting others. DonEt s"oil the
fun.
We all try to "ut on a ha""y face $hen $eEre at a "arty. >ut $hat a/out $hen $e are at ho!e& $ith
our 7idsJ ,r $hen $e trudge into the office on 9onday !orningJ
Li7e an o"en "it in the !iddle of the road& a sour "uss is a "u/lic !enace.
>eing ha""y is "art of /eing considerate to the "eo"le around us.


The Daily Plea+ure Count

o /egin a""reciating life& "in"oint so!e things you are eCtre!ely grateful for and count the!
every !orning for one !onth& e.g.5 your eyes& your hands& your children& your cat.
Set a ti!e each day to conte!"late these "leasures. 'eel gratitude for the!. his eCercise can
change the !ood of even the !ost !isera/le a!ongst us5
he neCt ti!e you visit your aunt Othe one $ho loves to co!"lainP& tell her very res"ectfully5
*.untie, I came here to suffer ith you today. #ut before e suffer, it is only fair that you also
share ith me five pleasures that you had today.*
*I had no pleasures.*
*.untie, did you have coffee for breakfast7*
*<es.*
&on2t let her off the hook ith this perfunctory anser. )ake her share the pleasure. *+as it
seet7 +arm7 &id the aroma linger7 &id it give you energy7* 83he2ll comply because she ants
her turn to complain...;
*!kay, it as seet and it as nice.*
@;
*-reat .untie1 "o four more1*
*I didn2t have any more.*
*&id you ash your face7 +as it pleasant7 +arm7 Befreshing7* Belive it ith her. Then another
one.
After she descri/es five "leasures& her co!"laints $onEt /e nearly as /ad.
o really $or7 at this& sit do$n $ith your s"ouse Oor roo!!ateP every evening and discuss one
"leasure that each of you had that day. At the very least& youEll have a ha""ier s"ouse or roo!!ate)
Incor"orate this into your fa!ily routine so that your children also learn to a""reciate their daily
"leasures.

The ne Hour $le++in0 *e+t

he neCt eCercise is !ore so"histicated.
S"end one hour $riting do$n everything for $hich you are grateful.
9ost "eo"le fly through the first ;F !inutes. he neCt ;F !inutes the "en !oves !ore slo$ly. he
neCt ;F !inutes get even tougher& /ut you can "ull through if you include your eye/ro$s and
soc7s...
he last ;F !inutes are eCcruciating.
,nce the list is co!"iled& add one ne$ /lessing each day.
he "o$er of this eCercise is clear5 You !ust /e conscious of all your /lessings& in order to
a""reciate $hatever ne$ /lessings co!e your $ay.

Prioriti+e Your $le++in0+

o really hone your s7ills and /eco!e an eC"ert at a""reciation& "rioriti+e your list.

+hich is more valuable 9 your hands or your feet7
4yes or ears7
3ense of taste or your sense of touch7
-o!"aring each "leasure forces you to 1ualify the various su/tle as"ects of each "leasure. And to
1uantify ho$ !uch each res"ective "leasure gives you.
'ollo$ this course and $or7 at it daily. Your gratitude $ill continue to gro$& /uilding a solid
foundation for a lifeti!e of ha""iness.
@2
T $E HAPPY I# Y") P")P#E IN LI*E

he "ur"ose of life is si!"ly ha""iness. he feeling of ha""iness is $hat it feels li7e to /e
"erfectly hu!an. o /e alive and hu!an $ithout /elieving or eC"eriencing the "ro/le!s& dou/ts
and fears that $e usually "ay so !uch attention to.
It is in our !o!ents of ha""iness that $e can access our full capabilitie+, When $e dou/t or fear
$e are li!iting our ca"a/ilities.
Life& energy or $hatever ter! you $ish to call it co!es to us and flo$s through us continually. We
are not the closed off& fiCed /eings that $e thin7 ourselves to /e.
We are& at the su/ato!ic level& a continually changing& flo$ing of energy. <very ti!e that you
dust your house& you see "arts of $hat $as your s7in yesterday. :o$ it has left you and /egun to
/e recycled for another use. o!orro$ the "articles that currently !a7e u" that hated $rin7le&
$ill /e dust around your house.
-ontinually energy flo$s through you and is guided into for!& /y the infor!ation inB
your D:A&
your e!otions&
your thoughts.

his energy is li!itless in "otential. #o$ever the a!ount that you receive is li!ited /y your
o"enness. he energy co!es into you through your o$n funnel. Your funnel is deter!ined /y
your e!otional state.
If you !a7e your funnel tight and narro$& !eaning you are do$n or fearful& you $ill eC"erienceB
little energy&
little !otivation&
little ca"a/ility&
little ha""iness.

If your funnel is $ide and eC"ansive& you $ill /e ha""y. And youEll have all the ener0y&
capabilitie+ and moti4ation to fulfil your vision.
It is in our !ost Aoyful !o!ents that $e are able to care a/out others.
It is then that $e have the ener0y- moti4ation and +tren0th to turn our dream+ into reality,
he /est thing $e can doB
for ourselves
for others&
for the $orld is to /e ha""y.

,ur Aoy s"reads out to others and hel"s the! to /e ha""y.
If you have a toothache& the aching tooth do!inates your thoughts. In the sa!e $ay& $hen you are
unha""y& your !isery do!inates your thoughts. When you are ha""y& your !ind is clear to thin7
and care of others. So "aradoCically& to /e ha""y is the !ost altruistic and generous thing that you
can do.
@3
THE DE*INITIN * HAPPINE## T LI&E $Y

A clear definition of ha""iness is very difficult to find for such a co!!on ter!.
When I have as7ed others for a definition of ha""iness the !ost general res"onse is a feeling of
content!ent.
As a result of this& !any "eo"le& "erha"s su/consciously& tend to /e a little $ary of ha""iness.
#a""iness see!s to /e a selfish goal. his definition /rings to !ind an i!age of ha""y "eo"le
lying around all day.
herefore "eo"le so!eti!es thin7 that they $ould cease to /e "roductive !e!/ers of society& that
they $ould sto" caring a/out others.

In truth nothing could /e further fro! the truth.
You cannot hel" others& you cannot /e truly "roductive and useful unless you are ha""y.
And you cannot /e truly ha""y& unless you are "roductive& useful and hel"ing others.



ha""iness covers three !ain ele!ents.

'eeling good - .leasure or a feeling of "eace or content!ent.
houghts - Loo7ing /ac7 over your life and /eing generally satisfied $ith $hat has "assed and
$hat has yet to "ass.
:ot feeling /ad - 'eeling /ad o/viously detracts fro! ha""iness.
,/viously these ele!ents are "art of ha""iness. #o$ever I thin7 that these definitions of ha""iness
are !issing the "oint.
#ereEs $hy.
LetGs use the ageing of our /odies as an analogy of ho$ $e create unha""iness.

Ageing is a little li7e the rusting of a car. It is a gradual $earing do$n that leads to cellular
degeneration& $hich $e o/serve as ageing.
<very year QQT of our cells are rene$ed. <very seven years $e have a co!"letely ne$ /ody. If
the ne$ cells $ere eCactly the sa!e as the "revious cells $e $ould never age. #o$ever /ecause
the /ody is under continual attac7 the cells /egin to !utate.

The attac5+ come from1
- .ollutants in the at!os"here.
- Lac7 of nutrients in our food.
- Inefficiencies in our /odily syste!s for eCa!"le lac7 of eCercise or illness.
- >ioche!ical effects of e!otions such as anger and anCiety.

@@
As a result of these attac7s the /lue"rint& or design& fro! $hich ne$ cells are !ade /eco!es
slightly distorted. So the ne$ cells develo" to /e slightly different to the original design for the
/ody.

In effect then the ne$ /ody is alien to the original D:A /lue"rint. So ageing occurs $hen the /ody
/egins to live according to a different design to that $hich is natural for it.

In the short ter!& $e /eco!e sic7 $hen so!ething alien to us& such as a disease& invades our /ody.
9any of the sy!"to!s of a disease are the side effects of our /ody $or7ing to "rotect us.

'or eCa!"le& $e eC"erience a te!"erature as our i!!une syste! !o/ili+es to attac7 the invader.
he te!"erature is not caused /y the disease& /ut /y our /odyGs reaction to the disease.

Happine++ i+ the emotional a+pect of health,
We /eco!e unha""y $hen $e ta7e on so!ething that is alien to us.

When $e say so!ething& or act in a $ay& that is not really true to us $e /eco!e unha""y. We
eC"erience unha""iness in a nu!/er of $ays. So!eti!es it is anger or frustration& other ti!es it is
anCiety.

All are the e!otional e1uivalent of a disease or illness.



ur emotion+ are not cau+ed by e4ent+ that happen to u+- but by our reaction to the e4ent+
that happen to u+,

,ur ha""iness and e!otional health co!es under attac7 $henever $e thin7& s"ea7 or act
so!ething that is not really true to our natural design. Just as $ith our "hysical health& $e are
continually attac7ed /y !any Xinvading aliensG. hese includeB

he "ressure to confor! to SocietyGs& grou"s and organi+ational rules.

<C"ectations of ourselves& and others& to live u" to certain standards.

'itting into "re-designed roles& $hich restrict& confine and li!it our eC"ression of our true
individuality.
9y definition of ha""iness is a natural outco!e of /eing yourself. It is having co!"lete integrity.

<verything that you thin7& !atches $ith $hat you say& $hich !atches $ith $hat you do.
- Inside every Singer is a song that has to /e sung.
Inside every .oet is a "oe! that !ust /e $ritten.
Inside every .ainter is a "ainting that !ust /e "ainted.
Inside every <ntre"reneur is an enter"rise that !ust /e started.
Inside every Social -a!"aigner is an ill that !ust /e righted.
Inside every Ad!inistrator is an inefficiency that !ust /e organi+ed.
Inside every ,ne is so!ething that !ust /e created& fiCed or i!"roved.

@F
THE TH)EE !AY# T HAPPINE##
I have read !any /oo7s offering $ays to ha""iness. hese can /e categori+ed in three !ain $ays.
Happine++ $y De+cription1 The fir+t of the way+ to happine++
he first $ay is $hat I call the 9ystic or .oetic grou". hese are "ersonal accounts of "eo"le $ho
have reached a state of /lissful ha""iness. hey then try to eC"lain $hat they have eC"erienced...
and ho$ they have reached that stage.
his leads to a "oetic or !ystical descri"tion that see!s to its readers to /e i!"ossi/le or
unrealistic to reach.
he "ro/le! is that the ga" /et$een the reader and the author is so great that they cannot relate to
one anotherEs eC"erience.
he Author tries to descri/e ho$ he or she reached this state. heir $ay to ha""iness. #o$ever
$hat $or7ed for the Author& is not $hat $ill necessarily $or7 for the %eader.
Happine++ $y Pre+cription1 The +econd of the way+ to happine++
he second of the $ays to ha""iness is $hat I call the theory or for!ula route.
In this $ay so!eone or so!e grou" has a theory or for!ula that they /elieve leads to ha""iness for
each of us.
<very religion or "hiloso"hy is /ased on a theory or for!ula& of the /est or only $ay to ha""iness.
It !ay /e ha""iness in another life or $orld... /ut none the less it is ha""iness.
All of these /elieve that there are certain rules or /ehaviours that !ust /e o/served and 7e"t /efore
you can /e ha""y.
he !aAor fla$ $ith this& is that the theory or for!ula can /e /elieved so dee"ly& that /elievers try
to thrust their o$n /eliefs onto others. he !ost destructive acts in our history have co!e a/out
/ecause of this theory or for!ula a""roach. :a+i *er!anyEs atte!"t to i!"ose an Aryan race $as
their for!ula for ha""iness.
9any tri/es& such as :ative A!ericans and A/originals& have found their $ay of life ta7en a$ay
fro! the!. All in the na!e of technological "rogress or civili+ation. Which is the invaderEs na!e
for their for!ula to ha""iness.
Happine++ by b+er4ation1 The third of the way+ to happine++
he third of the $ays to ha""iness is to study ha""y "eo"le and loo7 for $hat is different fro!
unha""y "eo"le. hen they say this is $hat !a7es "eo"le ha""y.
his tends to /e a lot /y acade!ics and other o/servers or researchers.
he "ro/le! $ith this is that the "ersonality traits and /ehaviours dis"layed /y ha""y "eo"le& !ay
/e the result of ha""iness... not $hat has caused it. he fact of /eing ha""y !ay lead to that
"ersonality trait or /ehaviour.
@L
We can also see this a""roach used in /usiness. When a /usiness& or an individual& is successful&
they are analy+ed and o/served for clues to their success. hen hundreds of $riters s"e$ out
articles& re"orts and /oo7s advocating so!e ne$ fad.
#o$ever $hat $or7s for one /usiness& $or7ed /ecause it fitted in $ithB
- their strategy&
- their e!"loyees&
- their !ar7et"lace
and all the other ele!ents.
Along co!e thousands of other /usinesses in entirely different situations co"ying so!eone elseEs
tactics and then getting frustrated $hen they do not get the sa!e results.
here are no $ays to ha""iness... And yet every route can /e a "ath to ha""iness. #a""iness is a
choice in every instant.
If you follo$ any of anyone elseEs $ays to ha""iness& you $ill al$ays /e settling for less ha""iness
than you could eC"erience.
#a""iness is a uni1ue eC"erience that !ust /e reached in a uni1ue $ay. his doesnEt !ean that you
canEt learn fro! the eC"erience of others. #o$ever $hen a choice has to /e !ade /et$een your
"ath& your choice and that of another& al$ays choose your $ay.
To $e r Not To $e Happy I+ A Choice
>eing ha""y is really a choice $e !a7e& /ut it doesnEt al$ays see! to /e that straightfor$ard.
In each of our lives there are t$o $orlds. ,ne leads to a ha""y life... and the other to a life of
frustration& des"air and !isery.

hese t$o $orlds are the inner $orld and the outer $orld. he inner $orld is !ade u" of our
thoughts& and feelings.

he outer $orld is !ade of all the things that $e can see& hear& touch& s!ell and taste. he outer
$orld is the !anifestation of your inner $orld. <verything in the outer $orld is only a sy!/ol
re"resenting so!ething in your inner $orld.

So $hen $e say that $e $ant !ore !oney. What $e really !ean is that $e $ant to create the
feeling of /eing free to /uy $hatever $e li7e& or to get rid of the feeling of $orry connected to
!oneyJ
Ceci NBe+t Pa+ "ne Pipe
hin7 of your life as a fil!. he dra!a& eCcite!ent and stories unfurl /efore your eyes on the
screen.

Just as the dra!a& eCcite!ent and events in your life unfold in the outer $orld.

he screen ho$ever is only $here the "roAection fro! the "roAector or video or DDD is dis"layed.
Just as everything in your life is created fro! your thoughts& feelings and /eliefs.
@=

If the $rong fil! $ere "laying on the screen you $ould not start trying to !a7e changes to the
screen.

ItGs clear to you that the source of the fil! is not the screen. You $ould change the video or DDD.

Yet in life $e continually try to change the outer $orld. When $e feel insecure $e try to !a7e
!ore !oney& /uild ne$ relationshi"s or /uy insurance to !a7e ourselves feel safer.

When $e feel unha""y $e try to /uy ne$ things& change things around or !ove to /e around ne$
things or ne$ "eo"le.

his rarely $or7s for long /ecause our feelings are created& not /y things around us& /ut /y
thoughts... our "erce"tion of $hat is ha""ening around us.
,ur feelings are fro! our inner $orld and things are fro! our outer $orld. he lin7 is indirect...
and so the outer $orld is an indirect& slo$ and co!"leC $ay of changing ho$ $e feel.

he solution to achieving a ha""y life as $ith !any solutions is so si!"le that $e cannot
understand or /elieve it. We are al$ays searching for the high tech& the co!"leC and i!"ressive
solutions& /ut ignore the si!"le truth.

#a""iness co!es fro! feelings& not fro! things $e /uy to !a7e us ha""y. We have /eco!e so
ingrained in see7ing ha""iness indirectly that $e do not al$ays understand the difference /et$een
/eing ha""y for the short-ter! and long ter!.
DonHt !orry ( $e Happy And Control Your De+tiny
DonEt $orry /e ha""y. his sounds such a si!"listic "hrase& /ut there is great "o$er and $isdo!
in it.
Worry /loc7s our thin7ing& narro$s our o"tions and li!its us. >eing ha""y increases our creativity
and "ro/le! solving s7ills. It increases our energy& !otivation and our a/ilities.
DonGt $orry& /e ha""y tells us to focus on $hat $e $ant rather than $hat $e donGt $ant. When $e
focus on $hat $e $ant our actions ta7e us nearer to our goals.
When $e focus on $hat $e donGt $ant $e !ove a$ay fro! $hat $e donGt $ant. >ut not
necessarily in the direction that $e $ant to go in. ,ut of the fire and into the frying "an.
@2
HAPPY PEPLE HA&E ALL THE L"C%
#a""y "eo"le get far less attention than unha""y "eo"le.
here is a !ountain of research on de"ression and the !any other thousands of $ays that
.sychology has categori+ed our !isery. ,nly recently has the focus /egun to turn to ha""iness.
here are a nu!/er of /enefits to /eing Aoyful. %esearch indicates that ha""y "eo"le see! toB
;. #ave a stronger i!!une syste! and therefore /etter health
2. Live longer.
3. >e !ore creative.
@. >e !ore co-o"erative.
F. >e !ore "roductive.
L. >e !ore successful in their careers.
=. >e li7ed !ore.
2. >e Audged as !ore attractive.
Q. >e !ore successful in relationshi"s.
;3. >e /etter e1ui""ed to co"e $ith adverse situations.
;;. #ave a higher self-estee!.
;2. >elieve they have !ore control over their lives.
;3. >e !ore o"ti!istic.
>eyond these research findings there !ay /e other un"roven /enefits to /eing ha""y. I /elieve that
it is ha""iness that gives us the fuel and the a/ility to do $hatever it is that $e $ant to do.
We can $ant to do so!ething. >ut $hen $e $ant& $hile $e are feeling lo$ or "o$erless $e
cannot achieve anything. <!otional "ain is li7e "hysical "ain in the sense that it 7ee"s directing
our attention onto the thing that causes us "ain.
We /eco!e li7e a car stuc7 in !ud. he !ore that $e thin7& the !ore that $e act all only serves to
dig ourselves into a dee"er rut.
he dee"er into the rut $e get& the !ore hel"less $e /eco!e.
#a""y "eo"le are a/le to stay a/ove any di"s in the road. 'ro! this "oint $e are a/le to see
alternative "aths and o"tions. his gives us the "o$er and a/ility to change our reality.

@Q
H! T $E HAPPY N!
You can feel ha""iness& this very !inute& if you so choose.
When $e tal7 of $anting to /e ha""y& $e are generally feeling sad or do$n.
Whatever e!otions or feelings you are eC"eriencing at this !o!ent in ti!e is de"endent on your
thoughts. <very e!otional state is created /y a hor!onal and /ioche!ical !iC. o /e ha""y is
!erely a che!ical !iC. If you have a great deal of serotonin "u!"ing around your syste! you $ill
"ro/a/ly feel slee"y.
So to /e ha""y no$ re1uires you either to "ay attention to so!ething else or to "erceive $hat you
are "aying attention to differently. 9ost "eo"le forget these o"tions and try to go straight into
changing their !ood /y changing the che!ical status of their /ody.
.erha"s they $ill ta7e drugs& or !ay/e they $ill eat so!e chocolate or drin7 a coffee.
If you $ant to change your !ood instantly use this si!"le eCercise.
:otice eCactly $hat you are thin7ing and "aying attention to. If the feelings you have are not
enAoya/le you are "erha"s $orrying a/out so!ething& frustrated& angry or sad.
Dra$ a /oC in the air in front of you. >ring to !ind all the things that you do not $ant and "ut
the! into the /oC.
:o$ dra$ another /oC neCt to your first. Into this /oC "ut all the things that you do $ant.
9ost "eo"le have trou/le $ith this. hey generally start to say things li7e H I $ant to not /e so
tiredI or HI $ant to not have to $orry a/out..I hese are things that you donGt $ant. %everse the
things you donGt $ant. 'or eCa!"le& HI a! feeling healthy& strong and ha""y no$I HI a! eCcited
a/outYI
:o$ you have a clear choice of $here to focus your attention /et$een $hat you do $ant and $hat
you donGt $ant.
If you continue to focus all your energy and attention on $hat you do $ant youGll soon find
yourself $ith all the energy& !otivation you needY and youGll /e ha""y no$.

F3
THE P")#"IT * HAPPINE##
See7ing ha""iness is not a luCury or a "rivilege. It is your atte!"t to give to the $orld.
It is not self-indulgent or selfish. It is the no/lest choice you can !a7e.
#o$ever it is a !ista7e.
#ereGs $hy.
he very "hrase& the "ursuit of ha""iness is /ased on a !isunderstanding of ha""iness.
#a""iness is not a thing that can /e "ursued& chased or $on. It can only /e chosen. And it can
only /e chosen /y the individual $ho $ould eC"erience it. here is nothing you can do& /uy or say
that $ill give lasting ha""iness to another.
he /est that you can do is de!onstrate ha""iness through your o$n life. his sho$s others that
genuine ha""iness can /e chosen. And in their o$n ti!e they !ay choose it also.

he "ursuit of ha""iness is /ased on an assu!"tion that there is an ideal that $e need to !atch u"
to /efore /eing ha""y.

>ecause of this faulty assu!"tion& !any "eo"le chase after things and eC"eriences they /elieve
$ill !a7e the! ha""ier.

Yet in truth there are no entry re1uire!ents to /e ha""y. You do not needB
any educational re1uire!ents&
any status or inco!e levels&
anything other than the "ure intention and choice to /e ha""y.

his is $hy all the $orld engages in the "ursuit of ha""iness& yet fe$ achieve !ore than fleeting
glances at it.

All the things that $e $ant& $hether it is a great fortune or saintliness. Are all !otivated& at their
source /y one thing5 he desire for ha""iness.

<ven those $ho shun ha""iness& such as ascetics& do so in the "ursuit of ha""iness. Just a different
definition of ha""iness... and a different ti!escale.
F;
A"THENTIC HAPPINE## ) TE.P)A)Y
HAPPINE##D

Authentic ha""iness is not $hat !ost "eo"le tal7 of& $hen they tal7 a/out /eing ha""y.

rue ha""iness is a state $here you 5now that you $ill /e ha""y to!orro$Y neCt $ee7Y and
neCt year.
You 7no$ you $ill /e ha""y if the sun shines to!orro$Y or if it rains.
Authentic ha""iness does not de"end on anything ha""eningY or not happenin0,
Authentic ha""iness is a way of li4in0 that is in tune $ith your natural "hysical and e!otional
design. It is the /u++ of /eing in control of your life and of +harin0 all that you are $ith the
$orld. It is li7e the s!ooth hu! of a luCury car running perfectly,

9ost "eo"le tal7 of ha""iness $hen they are not ha""y.
When $e are ha""y our !ind is not on ho$ $e are feeling& /ut is a/sor/ed in so!ething eCciting.
In our !o!ents of dee"est ha""iness $e are not e4en a$are of thin7ing.
We s"ea7 of ha""iness fro! a lon0in0 to /e ha""y. herefore ha""iness is s"o7en a/out in the
$ay that so!eone dro$ning $ould clamour a/out for a lifeline.
We s"ea7 of ha""iness when $e are sic7 of !isery.
We s"ea7 of /eing ha""y $hen $e are des"erate to get rid of the "ain of e!"tiness and frustration.
his is $hy $e gra/ at anything that see!s to /e ea+y for us to reach. We reach out to /e ha""ier
fro! an e!otional state that doesnGt /elieve anything !ore than te!"orary relief is "ossi/le.

So $e +ettle for a short-ter! fiC.
,ur atte!"ts at creating authentic ha""iness are li5e our atte!"ts at /eing healthy.
We all want to /e healthy. >ut $e never thin7 a/out /eing healthy& until $e eC"erience ill health.
We ne4er concern ourselves $ith 7ee"ing our /ody in its be+t "ossi/le $or7ing order.
>ut $hen $e get sic7 or eC"erience "ain& $e crave health. And fro! the des"eration to a4oid
"ain& $e $ill ta7e a "ain7iller.
he "ain 7iller doe+nBt !a7e us healthy. In fact !any $ould argue that introducing the "ain7iller
!ay lead to i!/alances in the /odyY$hich !ay lead to further health "ro/le!s. >ut it doe+ ta7e
a$ay our "ain.
When our "ain is 0one do $e concern ourselves $ith ensuring our health is the be+t it can /eJ
No,
'or !ost of us $e for0et a/out our healthY until $e get another re!inder.

We follo$ this +ame pattern for ha""inessY And this is $hy few reach authentic ha""iness.
We forever chase the instant and easy cure rather than the effecti4e and la+tin0 +olution,
F2
We choose the thirty second sound /ite over the dee"er insight contained in the longer article.
We choose anotherGs suggestions rather than !a7ing the effort to find our o$n solutions.
We choo+e the co!fort of confor!ity over the bra4ery of authenticity.
At ti!es $e try to lessen our "ain and e!"tiness... >yB
drin7ing
ta7ing drugs
7ee"ing /usy
sho""ing
or other$ise distracting ourselves& $e are ta7ing the e!otional e1uivalent of a "ain7iller.
hat is not to say that "ain7illers do not have their "lace. <verything has a "lace in the $orld. >ut
their "lace is not to create health.

Authentic ha""iness can never /e /ought& given or co"ied. It can only /e chosen.
Choo+e To $e Happy And You !ill $e
he res"onsi/ility for /eing ha""y is u" to you /ecause no one or nothing
else can /e accounta/le for your actions. >eing res"onsi/le for your attitude to$ards yourself and
the $orld is the !ain ingredient for /eing ha""y.
Al!ost everyone has heard the hit single XDonGt Worry& >e #a""yG /y >o//y 9c'errin. he song
has a very catchy $ay of conveying its !essage of /eing ha""y to everyone. >o//y 9c'errinGs
si!"le !essage surely !ade an i!"ression on a lot of "eo"le /y telling the! not to $orry.
Living a ha""y& resilient and o"ti!istic life is $onderful& and is also good for your health. >eing
ha""y actually "rotects you fro! the stresses of life. Stress is lin7ed to to" causes of death such as
heart disease& cancer and stro7e.
,ne of the /etter things ever said is - Xhe only thing in life that $ill al$ays re!ain the sa!e is
changeG& and in our life $e have the "o$er to !a7e the necessary changes if $e $ant to. <ven if
$e find ourselves in an un/eara/le situation $e can al$ays find solace in the 7no$ledge that it too
$ould change.
Social net$or7s or relationshi"s are essential to ha""iness. .eo"le are
different& acce"t "eo"le for $ho! or $hat they are& avoid clashes& constant argu!ents& and let go
of all 7inds of resent!ents. If argu!ents see! unavoida/le still try and !a7e an effort to
understand the situation and you !ight Aust get along $ith "eo"le /etter.
#a""iness is actually found in everyone& increasing it is a $ay to !a7e a life !ore $onderful and
also healthier.
o /e ha""y is relatively easyB Aust decide to /e a ha""y "erson. A/raha!
Lincoln o/served that !ost "eo"le for !ost of the ti!e can choose ho$ ha""y or stressed& ho$
relaCed or trou/led& ho$ /right or dull their outloo7 to /e. he choice is si!"le really& choose to /e
ha""y.
F3
here are several $ays /y $hich you can do this.
>eing grateful is a great attitude. We have so !uch to /e than7ful for. han7 the taCi driver for
/ringing you ho!e safely& than7 the coo7 for a $onderful dinner and than7 the guy $ho cleans
your clothes. Also than7 the !ail!an for /ringing you your !ail& than7 the "olice!an for !a7ing
your co!!unity safe and than7 *od for /eing alive.
:e$s is stressful. *et less of it. So!e "eo"le Aust canGt start their day
$ithout their daily dose of ne$s. ry and thin7 a/out it& QQT of the ne$s $e hear or read is /ad
ne$s. Starting the day $ith /ad ne$s does not see! to /e a sensi/le thing to do.
A religious connection is also reco!!ended. >eing "art of a religious grou" $ith its singing&
sacra!ents& chanting& "rayers and !editations foster inner "eace.
9anage your ti!e. i!e is invalua/le and too i!"ortant to $aste. i!e !anage!ent can /e
vie$ed as a list of rules that involves scheduling& setting goals& "lanning& creating lists of things to
do and "rioriti+ing. hese are the core /asics of ti!e !anage!ent that should /e understood to
develo" an efficient "ersonal ti!e !anage!ent s7ill. hese /asic s7ills can /e fine tuned further to
include the finer "oints of each s7ill that can give you that eCtra reserve to !a7e the results you
desire.
Laugh and laugh heartily everyday. #eard a good Ao7eJ ell your friends or fa!ily a/out it. As
they also say -GLaughter is the /est !edicineG.
<C"ress your feelings& affections& friendshi" and "assion to "eo"le around you. hey $ill !ost
li7ely reci"rocate your actions. ry not to 7ee" "ent u" anger of frustrations& this is /ad for your
health. Instead find $ays of eC"ressing the! in a $ay that $ill not cause !ore inAury or hurt to
anyone.
Wor7ing hard /rings tre!endous "ersonal satisfaction. It gives a feeling of
/eing co!"etent in finishing our tas7s. Acco!"lish!ents are necessary for all of usB they give us a
sense of value. Wor7 on things that you feel $orthy of your ti!e.
Learning is a Aoyful eCercise. ry and learn so!ething ne$ everyday. Learning also !a7es us
eC"and and /roaden our hori+ons& and could also give us !ore o""ortunities in the future.
%un& Aog& $al7 and do other things that your /ody $as !ade for. 'eel alive.

F@
7@ C)ITICAL CL"E# *) #"CCE##

I donEt need to /e a gy"sy fortune teller to tell your fortune. I can tell $ith a QFT certainty $hether
or not a "erson is Oor is going to /eP successful.

All I need is 23 !inutes of conversation or a fe$ e!ail interactions and I 7no$. It is easy to do.
You can do it too. Yes) You can actually "redict $hether or not so!eone $ill have the success
they say they $ant. >etter yet& you can tell if you are going to /e a success ,% not.

he /est "art a/out chec7ing to see if you $ill /e a success is that you donEt have to E/eat around
the /ushE in a conversation to discover the clues& as you $ould nor!ally have to do $ith another
"erson. he $orst "art a/out chec7ing in $ith yourself is that you $ill run u" against an outright
liar. Yes& you $ill atte!"t to deceive yourself. :o$ that you are fore$arned a/out that& you can
$atch out for your atte!"ts to o/scure Oor divert yourself fro!P the truth a/out yourself.

So& if you $ant to "redict the future of anyone& including yourself& here are the ten !ost critical
clues that you $ill need to uncover and clarify5

;- Attitude
2- Intention
3- .ur"ose
@- .assion
F- .lan
L- %esolve
=- %es"onsi/ility
2- Words
Q- Actions
;3-.eers.

LetH+ ta5e a clo+er loo5 at each,

Attitude1

here is a $innerEs attitude and there is a loserEs attitude. 9ost "eo"le have a !iC of the t$o.

A $innerEs attitude is characteri+ed /y high self-estee!& a "ositive outloo7 on life& a general
feeling of gratitude& a sense of great "ersonal destiny& a $illingness to learn and the $ill to do $hat
is necessary.

Losers have "oor self-estee!& a negative Othey say realisticP outloo7 on life& a general feeling of
resent!ent a/out the trials and tri/ulations of life& a sense of i!"ending negative fate& a
stu//ornness a/out $hat they E7no$E& and lousy $ill-"o$er or self-disci"line.

Intention1

As a general rule& things done $ith intent& "roduce intended results and things done $ithout
s"ecific intent "roduce unintended results.

It is !y eC"erience that !ost "eo"le thin7& say and do !ost things in life $ithout any conscious
and s"ecific intent. I li7e to as7 "eo"le Oand es"ecially !yselfP the follo$ing clarifying 1uestions5
FF

What is your intent in holding that /eliefJ What is your intent in thin7ing that $ayJ What is your
intent in doing $hat you doJ 9ost canEt ans$er. Winners can. 9ore i!"ortantly& $inners are
al$ays as7ing the!selves& M$hat is !y intended result for this chosen action& thought or $ay of
/eingJM.

Purpo+e1

his is so si!"le it is al!ost ludicrous... a life $ithout a defined and stated "ur"ose is a life of no
"ur"ose and no !eaning.

Winners have a "ur"ose. Losers do not. Winners live a life of "ur"ose and Eon "ur"oseE. Losers live
accidentallyB victi!s of circu!stance instead of creators of circu!stance. he sooner you $rite
do$n the succinct and true "ur"ose of your life& the sooner you $ill discover success& ha""iness
and "ersonal fulfil!ent.

I!"ortant caveat5 your "ur"ose does not have to /e altruistic or !easure u" to anyoneEs standards
eCce"t your o$n. It can /e entirely selfish.

Pa++ion1

.assion is that fuel that drives you. .assion is also $hat attracts to you the "eo"le and resources
that you need to achieve your success.

.assion is !agnetic. Desire is the !eta"hysical e1uivalent of gravity. It dra$s to you the ele!ents
that you need to succeed. .assionate "eo"le attract follo$ers and su""orters. Winners are
"assionate) ) ) ) )

Plan5

YouEve heard /efore. YouEve read it !any ti!es. <very "ersonal e!"o$er!ent teacher says it...
You !ust have s"ecific and $ritten goals and a ste"-/y-ste" "lan to enact those goals.

<very /usiness needs a /usiness "lan. Your life needs a "lan. You !ust create it. As >en 'ran7lin
"ointed out& M'ailing to "lan is "lanning to fail.M Winners have a ga!e "lan. Losers are s"ectators
and ar!chair 1uarter/ac7s. Do you have $ritten goalsJ

Do you have a s"ecific ga!e "lanJ

)e+ol4e1

It is "ersistence that creates $inners. It ta7es resolve to reach the to".

here $ill /e o/stacles in your "ath and i!"edi!ents to your success. Losers allo$ the!selves to
/e defeated /y these /arriers. Winners use the! to /uild u" strength and4or to learn a /etter $ay to
do so!ething. I see it all the ti!e... "eo"le 1uit Aust /efore the finish line. hey lose focus and
direction.

Winners "ersist. Losers desist.

FL
)e+pon+ibility5

As7 yourself this 1uestion& MWhy donEt I have all the "ros"erity& ha""iness& success and fulfil!ent
that I desireJM

If you /la!e any condition& circu!stance& event& "erson or eCternal thing& then you are a loser.
Winners acce"t res"onsi/ility. Losers assess /la!e.

Ste" u" to the "late and acce"t res"onsi/ility for your life and you $ill /eco!e the $inner that you
desire to /e in your secret heartfelt !o!ents. he $onderful "art a/out acce"ting res"onsi/ility for
your failures is that you also get to acce"t res"onsi/ility for your successes. You donEt have to say
that you $ere luc7y or /lessed or had the right /rea7s... you can say& MI did this.M

!ord+1

he $ords you s"ea7 and the $ay you s"ea7 the! tell a lot a/out you. hey tell the $orld $hat
you /elieve& $hat you thin7& $here you have /een& $ho you hang around $ith and $here you are
li7ely to end u".

>elo$ average "eo"le tal7 a/out other "eo"leB average "eo"le tal7 a/out events and
circu!stances. a/ove average "eo"le O$innersP tal7 a/out ideas and ideals Oes"ecially their o$nP.

Winners say $hat they !ean and !ean $hat they say. Losers say $hat they thin7 $ill "lease
others or re"eat $hat they have /een told.

Action+1

And yes& actions s"ea7 louder than $ords. he things you do are a reflection of your character.

9ost "eo"le tend to do $hat !ost others do& in so!e sort of $ilful ignorance of the "lain fact that
!ost "eo"le live !ediocre lives and never achieve the success they had ideali+ed for the!selves.
Actions "roduces results.

If you $ant unco!!on results& you !ust underta7e to act unco!!only on "ur"ose& $ith intent&
$ith res"onsi/ility& $ith "ersistence& $ith resolve& $ith "assion and according to your "lan.

Do $hat you love. Do $hat you $ill.

Peer+1

>irds of a feather do floc7 together.

If you $ant to /e a $inner& hang out $ith $inners. -reate your o$n E!aster!ind grou"E. ry to /e
involved $ith "eo"le $ho are s!arter than you& !ore successful than you& have greater as"irations
than you. If you canEt do it in "erson& read their /oo7s or read their /iogra"hies or visit their
$e/sites.

Losers li7e to hang around $ith other losers& not Aust /ecause !isery loves co!"any& /ut /ecause
their self-estee! is not threatened /y co!"arison to their "eers. If you can find the $ay to love
F=
yourself enough to al$ays have a high level of self-estee!& then you $onEt need to co!"are
yourself to others.

Winners /elieve in the!selves. Losers /elieve in the $orld around the!.

#o now you 5now my +ecret to be able to predict the future,
All I need to 5now about a per+on i+1

;- Who they hang around $ith&
2- What they do day-to-day&
3- he $ay they s"ea7 and $hat they say&
@- Whether or not they assu!e res"onsi/ility or assess /la!e&
F- Whether or not they have the resolve Othe stic7-to-it-tive-nessP to overco!e o/stacles&
L- If they have a "lan to live /y&
=- A "assion for life and their "lans&
2- A self-designed "ur"ose to live for&
Q- If they act intentionally or in reaction& and&
;3- What their overall attitude is to life and their "art in it.

:o$ that you 7no$& you donEt need !e& or so!e gy"sy tea leaf reader& to "redict your future.

he *%<A good ne$s is that& if you discover& through this self-analysis& that you do not have
these ;3 necessary characteristics of $inners& you can change the $ay you are and the things you
do. So there it is... your destiny is yours& /y design or /y default. It is u" to you.



Z Leslie 'ieger. All rights reserved $orld$ide.

Leslie is the author of he D<L'I: Kno$ledge Syste! rilogy5 he Initiation& he Journey and
he 6uest "lus !any !ore success "u/lications. #e also the co-author of he <nd of the World
$ith #ugh Jeffries and AleCandraEs Dragon'ire $ith his daughter Ashley. Su/scri/e to his free and
ad-free e?ine at htt"544$$$..ros"erity.aradig!.co! or htt"544$$$.Leslie'ieger.co!.

%e"rinting and re"u/lishing of this article is granted only $ith the a/ove credit included.
.er!ission to re"rint or re"u/lish does not $aive any co"yright.



%ichard *orha! is the founder and .resident of Leadershi"-ools& Inc. #is $e/ site&
htt"544$$$.leadershi"-tools.co! is dedicated to "roviding free tools and resources for todayEs
as"iring leaders. ,ffering high-1uality tools in the areas of >usiness .lanning& Leadershi"
Develo"!ent& -usto!er Service& Sales 9anage!ent and ea! >uilding.
F2
#"CCE## ( TEN !INNIN' T)AIT#F

:o sur"rise - $inning traits are co!!on a!ong high achievers.

Are you tired of schle""ing to the /eat of so!eone elseEs dru!J Does the idea of /eing your o$n
/oss a""eal to youJ

Are you entre"reneur !aterialJ
here are ten co!!on traits a!ong $inners and the !ost successful entre"reneurs.

Ten !innin0 Traite+)

;. An <ye 'or ,""ortunity5 9any entre"reneurs start /y identifying a co!!on need and using
so!e /asic el/o$ grease and i!agination to deliver a solution.
2. Inde"endence5 <ven though !ost entre"reneurs 7no$ ho$ to $or7 $ithin a fra!e$or7 for the
sa7e of "rofits& they enAoy /eing their o$n /oss.
3. An A""etite 'or #ard Wor75 9ost entre"reneurs start out $or7ing long& hard hours $ith little
"ay. hey are driven /y their vision so Mhard $or7M to the! is also Aust a !atter of doing $hat
they love and follo$ing their drea!.
@. Self--onfidence5 <ntre"reneurs !ust de!onstrate the $inning trait of self-confidence in order
to co"e $ith all the ris7s of o"erating their o$n /usiness. hey are e!"o$ered $ith the
7no$ledge that each /arrier is "laced in front of the! for the "ur"ose finding a $ay to 7noc7 it
do$n and !ove for$ard.
F. Disci"line5 Successful entre"reneurs resist the te!"tation to do $hat is uni!"ortant or the
easiest /ut have the a/ility to thin7 through to $hat is the !ost essential.
L. Judg!ent5 Successful entre"reneurs have the a/ility to thin7 1uic7ly and !a7e a $ise decision.
hey "ossess the co!!on sense and good Audge!ent of as7ing others o"inions& /ut after
gathering all availa/le infor!ation& they !a7e their o$n decision.
=. A/ility o Acce"t -hange5 -hange occurs fre1uently $hen you o$n your o$n /usiness. his
is one of the !ost i!"ortant traits as it "rovides freedo! to the entre"reneur $ho thrives on
change - they understand that change is o"ens the door to ne$ o""ortunity and gro$th.
2. 9a7es Stress Wor7 'or he!5 ,n the roller coaster to /usiness success the entre"reneur often
co"es /y focusing on the end result and not so !uch the "rocess of getting there. o /e sure&
this is one of the !ore difficult /ut necessary $inning traits.
Q. :eed o Achieve5 Although they 7ee" an MeyeM on "rofits& this is often secondary to the drive
to$ard "ersonal success.
;3. 'ocus ,n .rofits5 Successful entre"reneurs al$ays have the "rofit !argin in sight. hey 7no$
that their /usiness success is !easured /y "rofits and their /usiness survival is de"endent on
good cash flo$.

#o$ !any of our ten $inning traits do you "ossessJ Do you /elong to this entre"reneurial "rofile
or $ould you rather !aintain a !ore regular Q to F Ao/& "ic7 u" your "ay chec7 every other $ee7
and leave the headaches to so!eone elseJ 9ost "eo"le& 1uite easily& choose the latter. hey do
:, "ossess the $inning traits of entre"reneurs.

FQ
79 ELE.ENT# * #"CCE##

here are t$elve necessary ele!ents involved in achieving success5

7, #pend daily time in reflection- contemplation- meditation- +tillne++ and +ilence, 'round
your+elf in +elf(awarene++,

Since all that eCists arises out of the infinite& you should get inti!ate $ith the infinite so you can
have $hat you $ant. 9editation connects you the greater as"ects of your self and also to the
divine.

Learn to !editate and then develo" the disci"line to do it dailyB !a7e it a ha/it& li7e /rushing your
teeth.

-onte!"lation of oneEs o$n internal self and of the eCternal $orld $ill lead to $isdo!.

9, 'ain control of your phy+ical- emotional- mental and +piritual bodie+,

Sto" allo$ing your self to get yan7ed around /y other "eo"le& /y your culture& /y events or
circu!stances. You are you. You o$n your self. a7e control.

hin7 $hat you $ant. 'eel ho$ you $ant. >elieve $hat you decide is /est for you.

-reate you o$n ideals. Define your o$n "ur"ose. hen& live that "ur"ose.

:, De4elop a +tron0 +elf(ima0e, Learn to lo4e your+elf,

*et to 7no$ yourself. You are an eCce"tional individual. You are uni1ue in the $hole universe.
You are s"ecial. You are sacred. Kno$ $ho you are and then& love $ho you are.

Self-love is not egocentris!B it is si!"ly the ac7no$ledge!ent of your sacredness.

;, Thin5 for your+elf, pt out of ma++ con+ciou+ne++, "tili2e your creati4e ima0ination,

Loo7 around you. If you $ant to /e average& to /e the nor!& then thin7 li7e everyone else. If you
$ant !ore out of life& then learn to thin7 for yourself.

DonEt allo$ your culture to /eco!e your cult. .rogra! your self.

<, #et your 0oal+, Create your own 0ame plan, !)ITE IT D!N,

Write do$n your goals. Define the!. Affir! the!.

If you fail to !a7e a "lan& then you !ight as $ell "lan to fail.

LetEs ta7e a loo7 at so!e research t$o university studies a/out $ritten goals. he results $ill
astound you and& ho"efully& convince you to /egin no$ to $rite do$n your o$n goals.

In ;Q2@& a follo$ u" study $as done on the #arvard >usiness School graduating class of ;QL@. All
!e!/ers of the class stated that they had had& at graduation& clear goals to acco!"lish in life.
L3

,nly FT of the ;QL@ class had ta7en the ti!e to $rite do$n their goals. QFT of this grou" had
achieved those $ritten goals 23 years later.

,f the QFT $ho did not /other to $rite do$n their goals in ;QL@& only FT had achieved their
eC"ected goals.

<ven #arvard graduates only succeed $hen they "lan to succeed and then co!!it their "lans to
$riting.

he #arvard study $as "receded /y an earlier study done /y Yale 0niversity.

his study found that only 3T of the ;QF3 graduating class had $ritten goals.

$enty years later& in ;Q=3& this 3T of the Yale graduates had acco!"lished !ore than the other
Q=T co!/ined.

Set your ideals& clarify your goals and then $rite the! do$n. -arry the! $ith you. %efer to the!
often. 9a" your "rogress. .lan to succeed.

=, Do what need+ to be done, De4elop +elf(di+cipline,

>eco!e your o$n disci"le. DonEt allo$ yourself to /eco!e distracted or to /eco!e too la+y to do
$hat is necessary to achieve your goal.

Develo" the disci"line to /e $hat you need to /e& do $hat you need to do in order to have $hat
you $ant to have.

C, $e of +er4ice, Thin5 winAwin, *ind a way to create +ucce++ or happine++ for other+,

.eo"le succeed /y giving others $hat they $ant. E'ind a need or $ant and then fill itE is an old
truis! of /usiness. <Ca!ine your o$n ideals.

Are there others $ho hold the sa!e desiresJ

'ind a $ay to give others $hat is in tune $ith your shared ideals and you $ill "ros"er.

?, Educate your+elf- then u+e- apply what you 5now, Applied 5nowled0e i+ power,

*et $ise. A""ly $hat you learn to your life. 9any "eo"le 7no$ the secrets of ha""iness and
success /ut donEt a""ly the! and are confused /y the lac7 of har!ony in their lives.

J, $e 4i+ionary, Thin5 ahead, "+e the pa+t, Li4e in the moment,

-reate the future. 0se your i!agination. >eco!e a visionary.

urn off your television and turn on your inner vision.

Learn fro! othersE successes. Learn fro! othersE failures.

L;
<verything you see $as created in the "ast. 0se the "ast /ut donEt let it use you.

Live fully in this "resent !o!ent. I!agine your ideal future. 9a7e it real.

7@, "+e your time wi+ely, Li4e a balanced life, $e- do- ha4e,

%e!e!/er to ta7e ti!e to "lay.

It encourages /oth halves of your /rain to function so that your !ind can inha/it and function in a
/igger s"ace. .lan& rehearse and then eCecute.

DonEt Aust s"end all your ti!e doing& $ithout first /eing.

'renetic activity is the sign of those $ho choose to $or7 hard instead of s!art.

It is those $ho s"end as !uch ti!e /eing and thin7ing as doing& those for $ho! E$or7 is "layE that
succeed.

77, #pea5 your truth, Li4e your word, #ay what you mean- mean what you +ay,

A/ove average "eo"le tal7 a/out ideas& average "eo"le tal7 a/out things& and /elo$ average
"eo"le tal7 a/out other "eo"le.

al7 a/out your truth& your ideals& $hat you desire to see !anifest.

DonEt s"end too !uch ti!e tal7ing a/out $hat is already !anifest& $hat already eCists. hat Aust
!a7es you average. Allo$ other "eo"le to live their lives. DonEt $aste your ti!e tal7ing a/out
the!.

You !ay /e advised not to tal7 a/out yourself. DonEt listen. It is /ad advice. S"ea7 al$ays& first
and fore!ost& your o$n truth. ,ther$ise& youEll end u" living so!e/ody elseEs.

79, EnEoy the Eourney, $e here now, $e in the pre+ent moment, $e a +piritual bein0,

#a""iness does not co!e to!orro$ $ith the rising of the sun. It is only availa/le no$ in each
"resent !o!ent.

Slo$ do$n enough to enAoy this !o!ent and each that follo$ $ill /ring their o$n re$ard. >e
grateful for all that you have right here& right no$. You $ill end u" having !ore to /e grateful for
in the neCt !o!ent. Develo" that attitude of gratitude.


Z Leslie 'ieger. All rights reserved $orld$ide.

Leslie is the author of he D<L'I: Kno$ledge Syste! rilogy5 he Initiation& he Journey and
he 6uest "lus !any !ore success "u/lications. #e also the co-author of he <nd of the World
$ith #ugh Jeffries and AleCandraEs Dragon'ire $ith his daughter Ashley. Su/scri/e to his free and
ad-free e?ine at htt"544$$$..ros"erity.aradig!.co! or htt"544$$$.Leslie'ieger.co!.
L2
H! T )EALIKE Y") !ILDE#T D)EA.#


According to >ill *ates there are 3 7eys to success in any ne$ venture5

;P >eing in the right "lace at the right ti!e. OYou could $ell /e already there)P

2P #ave a vision of $here the industry4/usiness youEre $or7ing in is going)

3P a7ing 9assive and I!!ediate Action) OIt is ti!e to act)P

Mhe future /elongs to those $ho /elieve in the 1uality of their drea!s.M Was it Johann Wolfgang
Don *oethe& the fa!ous *er!an "oet and "hiloso"her $ho said those $ise $ordsJ

Here are my 7< +tep+ to fulfillin0 my wilde+t dream+,,,

;. K:,W Y,0%S<L'.
Kno$ and acce"t your $ea7nesses and faults O$e all have the!P& /ut even !ore so your strengths&
a/ilities and gifts. >uild on your strengths and try to !ini!i+e or i!"rove on your $ea7nesses. An
honest& o/Aective analysis of yourself is the first ste" in "re"aring you for success and reali+ing
your drea!s. -ele/rate you for Aust /eing you& a uni1ue creation.

Ai! for !ental clarity a/out $hat you !ost $ant out of life. hin7 a/out it and $rite it do$n. If
itEs ha""iness& $hat do you !ean /y ha""iness5 a sense of /elonging& recognition& inde"endence&
love& !oney or securityJ If you donEt 7no$ $here you are and $here you $ant to go $ith your life&
ho$ $ill you ever get thereJ Ai! at nothing and youEre sure to hit it.

2. *< .ASSI,:A<.
DonEt a"ologi+e for getting "assionate. What eCcites you the !ostJ If you are not enthusiastic and
eCcited a/out $hat youEre doing& your "ath in life& youEll never get others to share your drea!.
,nce you find your "assion& you $ill have found your .,W<%& 9<A:I:* and .0%.,S< in
life.

3. S0%%,0:D Y,0%S<L' WI# .,SIID< .ASSI,:.
Al$ays /e a$are. :egative "eo"le $ill "oison your drea! faster than anything else. 9otto5 MIf
you canEt /e "ositive& shut u")M ry and stay "ositive...even in the face of negativity.

@. A--<. '%,9 #< SA% #A Y,0 W,:E .L<AS< <D<%Y,:<.
YouEre going to /e !isunderstood& !is1uoted& hurt so!e feelings& "erha"s even lose so!e friends
Ofor the ti!e /eingP. 9otto5 MWhat other "eo"le thin7 of !e is none of !y /usiness)M %e"eat this
state!ent to yourself& es"ecially $hen you dou/t or feel discouraged.

F. ALWAYS >< Y,0%S<L'.
o thine o$n self /e true. OSha7es"eareEs M#a!letM& act I.3.P his is su"re!ely i!"ortant& no
!atter $hat the $orld !ay thin7 of you. he !asses are conditioned to !ediocrity and other
"eo"leEs success can !a7e the! not feel inferior for their o$n insignificant little lives.

Acce"t yourself. Learn fro! others--/ut donEt /e inti!idated /y the!& or "retend to /e so!eone
youEre notB /ecause... MWe are !ost effective $hen $eEre /eing ourselves.M

L3
L. D,:E >< S-A%<D ,' 9AKI:* 9ISAK<S.
he only real !ista7e is one fro! $hich you learn nothing. 9otto5 M'ar /etter to try so!ething and
fail& than try nothing and succeed)M

=. A--<. #A I WILL :<D<% >< <ASY.
%eali+ing your drea! !ay /e the hardest& !ost u"hill thing youEll ever do. A truth ... MYou canEt
coast u"hill.M

he 7ey ingredient in success is never giving u". Kee" on 7ee"ing on $ith your 1uest. It has /een
said that Msuccess is QQT !ade u" of failuresM.

2. SAY #09>L<.
Ono !atter ho$ successful you !ay /e.P DonEt ever thin7 youEve !ade it and arrived--thereEs
al$ays a lot ahead& !ore to do& higher !ountains to cli!/. 9otto5 Mhe greatest $ay to do our
thing has yet to /e discovered)M

Q. D,:E 0:D<%<SI9A< Y,0%S<L'.
here is incredi/le "o$er in yourself Oin the for! of the uni1ue hu!an !indP& /ut far !ore so in
the forces of the 0niverse. 9a7e the! $or7 for you /y living your life in har!ony $ith these
natural forces. Li7e "ositive energy attracts li7e.

<nough Ms"iritualM thoughts) >ac7 to the Mreal $orldM and you. Avoid develo"ing an inferiority
co!"leC OWho a! I& a EnothingEJMP. DonEt /e filled $ith feelings of self "ity OMno/ody li7es !eMP&
or thin7 MI canEt do itM. hese thoughts $ill steal your drea!.

;3. #AD< '0:.
:othing is ever as /ad as it see!s--donEt get too sole!n& or serious or too do$ncast $hen things go
$rong Oas they surely $ill fro! ti!e to ti!eP. a7e a leaf fro! ho!as <disonEs /oo75 MI never
did a dayEs $or7 in !y entire life5 it $as all '0:)M

Laugh at lifeEs funny !o!ents... and there are "lenty of the!. Mhe secret of ha""iness is not in
doing $hat one li7es& /ut in li7ing $hat one does.M -J.9. >arrie

;;. D<D<L,. E#< WILL , LID<E.
here $ill /e "lenty of ti!es $hen youEll face the death of your drea!. When failures&
disa""oint!ents& and criticis!s co!e you need the $ill and faith to 7ee" going. %e!e!/er5 We
learn far !ore fro! our failures than our successes& /ecause failures sho$ us $hat doesnEt $or7.
So& failure is Aust one ste" closer to ulti!ate success. ,ften the difference /et$een failure and
success is trying Aust one !ore ti!e& "ic7ing yourself u" off the canvas after /eing 7noc7ed do$n
ti!e and again.

;2. D<D<L,. E#< WILL , #<L. A:D S<%D< ,#<%SE.
Success on its o$n Oi.e.& for its o$n sa7eP $ill "ollute and corru"t you--itEs a dead end street unless
you have !eaning in your life. he years of struggle /reed fortitude and character. he gold !ay
/e an inch a$ay fro! the sea!& $here your fello$ !iners have given u". You need to succeed for
a reason& a "ur"ose& a cause thatEs /igger than you) and I' Oa very /ig ifP youEve fulfilled all the
a/ove re1uire!ents...

L@
;3. ALWAYS >< ,: #< L,,K,0 ',% ,..,%0:II<S.
hey are all around you. here are no "er!anent "ro/le!s--only solutions& "ossi/ilities and
o""ortunities. he -hinese $ord for EcrisisE !eans EdangerE [ Eo""ortunityE.

;@. D<D<L,. #< EWILL , S0--<<DE
If you truly /elieve in $hat you are doing& D<D<L,. #< EWILL , S0--<<D $ith a/solute
co!!it!ent. It is not enough to Aust survive& ai! at /eing the /est you can "ossi/ly /e) Kee" your
drea! /ig& /old and even outrageous--donEt $ater it do$n or settle for !ediocrity... even if others
thin7 you are cra+y) rust in your Audg!ent& your intuition and your creative !ind to overco!e
any o/stacles. M>e /old and !ighty& unseen forces co!e to your aid.M

;F. :<D<% *ID< 0. ,: Y,0% D%<A9)
>e "atient. DonEt /e in too !uch of a hurry to achieve your goals and drea!s. >e "ersistent and
never 1uit. As the saying goes& EWinners never 1uit and 1uitters never $in.E

Al$ays re!e!/er& $hen you thin7 youEve eChausted all your "ossi/ilities& you really havenEt--
thereEs al$ays another $ay& a /etter $ay...and even !ore i!"ortantly& thereEs al$ays another day)

Life is not a dress rehearsal& itEs the !ain event. *, ',% #A D%<A9. It is $ithin you and
$ithin your reach.




A/out he Author

-raig Loc7 has studied and $ritten eCtensively on the su/Aect of "ersonal success and ho$ to live
your drea!s. -raig is a $riter& $ho /elieves in encouraging and hel"ing others to strive for and
acco!"lish their drea!s. #e truly /elieves "eo"le can overco!e o/stacles& rise to any occasion&
and acco!"lish their entire drea! $ith enough faith.

-reative Writing -ourse5 htt"544$$$.n+enter"rise.co!4$riter4creative.ht!l

htt"544$$$.el7"u/lications.co!4god+one.ht!

htt"544$$$.novelty-gift.co!4

-raig can /e found acco!"lishing his drea! at htt"544$$$.el7"u/lications.co!4god+one.ht!
LF
I'NITE Y") #"CCE## !ITH 97 ACTIN#

a7ing action is the strongest $ay to create success in your life. he follo$ing are the 2; Actions
that you can ta7e right no$& to ignite the success in your life& /usiness& career& relationshi"s& or
fa!ily. a7e one or t$o of the actions that you are /etter at and "ractice the!. hen& start $or7ing
on so!e of the other actions. You $ill /e sur"rised at the success that you $ill have $hen you start
to ta7e action.

; S,. the $ay you do things "resently. o sto" allo$s you the right to ta7e inventory of $hat is
ha""ening in your life o/Aectively and $ith clarity and then& $hen a""ro"riate& to continue.

2 D%,. the assu!"tions that you !a7e a/out other "eo"le and yourself. o dro" your "resent
$ay of doing things can !ean starting ane$ or Aust altering the $ay you a""roach things. You
start $ith as clean a slate as "ossi/le.

3 <N.<- success. luc7. fun. Aoy. love. $hat you truly desire. o eC"ect creates sensitivity for
the eC"ected. o eC"ect good things o"ens a $orld of o""ortunity.

@ *ID< $ithout eC"ectation. $ithout /eing re1uested. $hen you can and $hen you cannot.
creatively and in ne$ $ays. o give is the gift of self-estee!. When one is truly co!forta/le
$ith oneself& one gives effortlessly.

F ><LI<D< the $orld is a/undant. in yourself. o /elieve goes along $ith action. When you
/elieve& your actions reflect the reality of your /elief.

L #A:K "eo"le $ho are generous to you& the $orld for $hat you have& yourself for $hat you
contri/ute. o than7 is to conte!"late oneEs good fortune.

= DIS0ALI?< your goals. your challenges. your victories.J the "ath you are ta7ing in life. o
visuali+e is to use all of your senses and to have eC"erienced the act co!"letely /efore it
ha""ens.

2 ASK for $hat you $ant. others $hat they need. for hel". o as7 is not a selfish action. In an
a""ro"riate !anner it is an act of "rogress& of clarification and of generosity.

Q -%<A< your $orld. ne$ art& ne$ "roAects& ne$ thoughts& ne$ $riting& ne$ !usic& ne$ fun in
your life and the lives of others. a safe "lace for others to eCist. a fun environ!ent for those
you touch. o create is hu!an and a$e ins"iring.

;3 LA0*# a lot. out loud. at yourself. o laugh is to al$ays /e selfless and to laugh at yourself
as !uch as you laugh at hu!anity.

;; D, So!ething. Anything. Doing $ill !ove you for$ard. Doing $ill get you out of your
doldru!s. o do so!ething and& at ti!es& anything can /e the catalyst that 7ee"s you going.
Doing so!ething !eans /eing active "hysically and !entally& not allo$ing yourself to /eco!e
stagnant. he act of doing is the act of success.

;2 ',%*ID< those $ho have $ronged you. yourself. o forgive is to ac7no$ledge and say
everything is o7ay.

LL
;3 >< the success you $ant to /e no$. .lay the "art to !a7e that the ne$ nor!. true to yourself.
"resent in every !o!ent for yourself and for those around you. o /e in this sense is an
action. It !eans you are actively "resent and in the role of yourself. >eing !eans you are not
lost in the "ast or in the future.

;@ L,D< those "eo"le around you. those $ho su""ort you. your fa!ily. your friends. yourself. o
love is to o"en yourself u" to those $ho are close to you and ulti!ately to everyone.

;F ',-0S your efforts on your "riorities& your goals& and your "lans. o focus !eans your
energies are not $asted or s"read too thin.

;L L<A%: daily. o learn is to honour the ca"acity $e all have $ithin our !inds. o learn
eCercises our !uscle of thought.

;= >ALA:-< your life for you& your fa!ily& your $or7& the $orld. o /alance is to recogni+e
your /oundaries and to act in a $ay to not cross the!.

;2 %<LAN your /ody. your !ind. o relaC is the act of allo$ing our !inds to catch u" and
organi+e the!selves. o relaC allo$s rest for our !uscle of thought.

;Q <9>%A-< your fear as a necessary "art of success. change as the vehicle for ne$ o""ortunity.
ne$ "eo"le as Aust that J "eo"le. o e!/race is a hug that is co!forting yet confident.

23 ,>S<%D< the $orld around you. the "eo"le around you. $hat you see& hear& taste& s!all& and
feel. $hat your gut tells you. $hat your !ind is thin7ing. the "o$er of a relaCed& rested !ind
o o/serve is the $illingness to /e taught a/out your $orld and those "eo"le and things in it.




o receive the 2;st and !ost i!"ortant Action to Ignite Your Success& "lease su/scri/e to 'ood for
hought& our ne$sletter that $ill !a7e you sto" and thin7.

*o to htt"544$$$.!indsca"e.ca4su/scri"tion2;.ht!

.aul has al$ays researched and studied the fields of hu!an "erfor!ance and "ersonal (
"rofessional develo"!ent. As an engineer& .aul is eCtre!ely interested in ho$ things $or7 - the
!ind /eing one of the !ost fascinating. .aul has lived a life of o""ortunity and a/undance& $hich
has included living and $or7ing overseas in Africa and the -ari//ean. #e is a retired I..
consultant and eCecutive& a hus/and and father of 2 /oys& and has con1uered !arathons& triathlons&
and 9ount Kili!anAaro. his $ide /ac7ground of eC"erience has all su""orted his research. .aul
lives a life of success /y "racticing the 9indsca"e .rinci"les.

'or !ore infor!ation on .aul 'ra+er& his co!"any 9indsca"e& his s"ea7ing "rogra!s& his /oo7
Sto"& Dro" ( %e->alance5 A Self %ene$al 9anual or to contact hi! "lease call hi! at L;3-2L@-
3=Q; or visit his $e/site at5

htt"544$$$.!indsca"e.ca4
L=
C CHA)ACTE) T)AIT# * #"CCE##*"L PEPLE

;. hey are hard $or7ing. here is no such thing as easy !oney. Success ta7es hard $or7 and
"eo"le $ho are $illing to do it.

2. hey are honest. hose $ho are successful long-ter! are the honest ones. Dishonest "eo"le !ay
get the first sale& /ut honest "eo"le $ill get all the rest)

3. hey "ersevere. #o$ !any success stories $ill go untold /ecause they never ha""enedJ And all
/ecause so!eone 1uit. Successful "eo"le outlast every/ody else.

@. hey are friendly. #ave you noticed that !ost successful "eo"le are friendly and "eo"le
orientedJ his endears the! to others and ena/les the! to lead others to acco!"lish the tas7.

F. hey are lifelong learners. Successful "eo"le are "eo"le $ho stretch the!selves and gro$
continually& learning fro! all areas of life& including fro! their !ista7es.

L. hey over-deliver. he old state!ent of under-"ro!ise and over-deliver /eca!e fa!ous
/ecause it !ade a lot of "eo"le successful& including the richest !an in the $orld - >ill *ates

=. hey see7 solutions in the face of "ro/le!s. .ro/le!s are o""ortunities to do the i!"ossi/le&
not Aust co!"lain. Successful "eo"le are the ones $ho find solutions.




A/out he Author5

-hris Widener is a "o"ular s"ea7er and $riter as $ell as the .resident of 9ade for Success& a
co!"any hel"ing individuals and organi+ations turn their "otential into "erfor!ance& succeed in
every area of their lives and achieve their drea!s.

o see -hris MliveM at the u"co!ing Ji! %ohn Wee7end <vent as he s"ea7s on the su/Aect of
Secrets of Influence go to htt"544-hris-Widener.Ins"iresY,0.co!4 or call 233-Q2Q-3@3@.

L2
TP #E&EN IDEA# *) #"CCE##

;. Any $or7 activity& unless initiated at the earliest $ill not !ove ahead. ,nce you /egin the $or7&
you $ill a""reciate its sco"e& li7ely "ro/le!s etc. .rocrastination and success are inversely related.

2. De"ending on the $or7& you have to $or7 hard& in ter!s of eCtended $or7 hours& "hysical
la/our or !ental la/our. DonEt leave things as such citing eChaustion or so!e other trivial reason.

3. ry to understand ho$ you can source hel" fro! others in areas $here you lac7 either ti!e or
eC"ertise. 9any a ti!es net$or7ing hel" you to acco!"lish tas7s $ithin ti!e fra!e& cost
reduction& innovativeness etc.

@. Wor7 $ith real interest& then $or7 is "leasure. If you cannot have interest& you are not doing
Austice for yourself or the e!"loyer& as the case !ay /e. 0nderstanding the tas7 leads to innovative
ideas $hich in turn generates interest. -o!"are and co!"ete $ith colleagues and friends $or7ing
$ith si!ilar tas7s& a sure $ay to $or7 $ith +eal.

F. #ave "atience till the ti!e you feel& you have follo$ed the a/ove. ill then never loose "atience&
even if you have to start fro! the scratch& of course the /oss should /e $illing to give you !ore
ti!e.

L. %esist te!"tations that divert your valua/le !ental and "hysical resources& $hile on the tas7. In
other $ords $or7 $ith concentration. You can relaC a $hile& /ut not get diverted to unrelated
activity.

=. ,/serve $hat others have done& their successes& failures& factors and reasons for the sa!e and
relate $ith your !ode of o"eration. 'ilter the accessi/le /est "rocesses.

he a/ove "rovides Aust as a guide& and is not a generali+ed for!ula. It is out of o/servation and
o$n eC"erience& one can fra!e /etter rules and ideas for oneself.




he author #olds a 9asters degree in Agricultural Sciences and is cofounder of an organi+ation
involved in :ature conservation and sustaina/le develo"!ent. he author can /e reached at
uravi7u!arUyahoo.co! Disit htt"544$$$.geocities.co!4uravi7u!ar for !ore infor!ation on
Kolleru la7e.

LQ
C THIN'# Y" CAN D T )EACH THE
#"CCE## Y" T)"LY DE#I)E

<ver have those days $here no !atter $hat you try life see!s to /e a series of one ste" for$ard
and t$o ste"s /ac7J

Well today is the very /est day to ta7e charge of your life and develo" strategies to achieve
"ersonal success. You $ill need to $or7 hard and !a7e a co!!it!ent to your "ersonal success
"lan& /ut once you /rea7 the inertia you $ill find that s!all achieve!ents $ill hel" you gain
!o!entu!& and each ste" for$ard $ill attract !ore success.

;. a7e a loo7 at the one and only "erson res"onsi/le for your success- Y,0. o /e successful you
!ust ta7e co!"lete res"onsi/ility for your actions. You canEt "in your success or your
shortco!ings on anyone else.

2. Develo" and nurture a successful self- Start /y s!iling !ore& loo7 to the "ositive side in
everything. DonEt list all the reasons $hy so!ething is hard and you canEt do it& find the reasons
even if it is only one to start $ith of $hy you can do so!ething. You !ust develo" a successful
"ersona to /eco!e a successful "erson.

3. 9a7e the decision today- Decide today that you $ill /e successful. .raise yourself for "ast
acco!"lish!ents& ta7e stoc7 of your strong 1ualities and $or7 to nurture and i!"rove those that
are underdevelo"ed. You have a "ur"ose and a !ission you !ust s$ee" aside the negative clutter
and define this "ur"ose and /egin today to fulfil yourself.

@. Al$ays /egin $ith the "ositive- every !orning you $a7e u"& every ti!e you s"ea7 $ith other
"eo"le. Al$ays stic7 $ith the "ositive. Associate $ith "ositive "eo"le. .eo"le $ho have also !ade
the co!!it!ent to success. Avoid negative "eo"le at all costs. hey $ill not only drag you do$n.
heir negative actions and thoughts& their "essi!is!& $hining& and co!"laining is a toCin and you
need to steer clear of it.

F. Disuali+e and $rite do$n ho$ you desire to live successfully- thin7 of the things that are
!eaningful to you. hings that give you "leasure& co!fort& and fulfil!ent. hen /eing as s"ecific
as "ossi/le $rite do$n ho$ you $ant to live. DonEt listen to any of the negative& Aust concentrate.
Write do$n every detail& $here you live& $hat your house is li7e do$n to the decor. What you and
your friends are "assionate a/out& $hat 7inds of co!!unity "roAects do you donate your ti!e and
!oney to. After $riting everything do$n co"y the !ost vivid and i!"ortant things into a ne$
Aournal. ,ne you have chosen Aust for this. 9a7e the Aournal co!e to life $ith dra$ings&
"hotogra"hs& !aga+ine cli""ings& articles& and "oetry. I!ages and $ords that $ill hel" your vision
of a successful life crystalli+e in your !ind. Loo7 through this Aournal several ti!es a $ee7. <very
day visuali+ing living that life. 9a7e all of your actions in accordance $ith that successful life.

L. Define $hat success !eans to you- -oncentrate on $hat you are /est at and $hat /rings you
satisfaction and fulfil!ent. 0sing your vision of ho$ you $ant to live& $rite do$n and then read
out loud $hat success !eans to you. ,ther$ise you $on t 7no$ $hen you have achieved it.

=. Study and !a7e the co!!it!ent- %ead /oo7s and !aga+ines a/out "eo"le $ho are successful
in your eyes& and $ays to /eco!e !ore successful. Develo" a daily !ethodical syste!atic
a""roach to reaching your goals and ta7e one ste" to$ards your success.
=3

Kee" your !ind in the !o!ent donEt let it $onder to negative discourse. 'ocus your attention on
your vision of success. With a resolute attitude you are $ell on your $ay.




A/out he Author

Z>? %iger-#ull. $$$.in-s"iros.co! 'or valua/le free articles& assess!ents& ( "ractical success
tools !ailto5A;Us!artautores"onder.co! -ertified as a Success -oach& M'our Agree!entsM
'acilitator& ( ele--ourse leader We hel" you co!!unicate "o$erfully& reduce stress&
Strategically Attract success& ( increase your financial $ell-/eing.

/+Uin-s"iros.co!





=;
$E A !INNE) ( TEN TIP# *) #"CCE##

#ave you ever thought a/out ho$ you $ant to live& and $ho you $ant to /eco!eJ <veryone has
different values and "uts the! in different order of "riority& so $hat $or7s for others !ay not /e
your o$n reci"e for success.

o re!ind yourself a/out $hat your life is all a/out& I reco!!end ta7ing the ti!e to $rite do$n
ten "rinci"les that you consider !ost i!"ortant. It is easy to get off-trac7 at ti!es& /ut if you 7ee"
your "ersonal values in sight it is !uch easier live /y the!. OAfter all& $hat is the "oint in getting
out of /ed every day if not to live a life of valueJP.

Selecting only ten "rinci"les is certainly difficult& /ut $ell $orth doing. 9ine are clearly visi/le
fro! !y co!"uter $here I $or7 every day. Why donEt you do the sa!eJ

.etraEs en i"s for >eing a Winner

hin7 /ig - dare to drea!
*ive $ithout eC"ecting anything /ac7
>e "ersistent& even $hen it all loo7s too hard
S"ea7 "ositively a/out yourself and others
:ever sto" learning
S!ile& even $hen no-one is loo7ing
De!and eCcellence fro! yourself
.ut "eo"le /efore "roAects
a7e res"onsi/ility for everything that ha""ens to you
#ave integrity - al$ays do $hat you say you $ill do




O-P -o"yright .etra %an7in 233F

.etra %an7in used "o$erful techni1ues to /eat her o$n long-ter! de"ression. She is no$
dedicated to teaching others ho$ to /e ha""ier and lead !ore successful lives. #er first /oo7 'ast
rac7 Your Success and #a""iness is due to /e launched in Se"te!/er 233F and is currently
availa/le for do$nload as a free e-/oo7 instead of "aying W;Q.QF. Li!ited ti!e only)

=2
THE A.AKIN' #"CCE## #EC)ET ANYNE CAN
#TA)T "#IN' TDAY

#o$ever there is one success secret that costs nothing. And $e can all use it today to get ahead
!ore 1uic7ly. I a! tal7ing a/out cultivating eCce"tional "eo"le s7ills in a $ay that "uts you ahead
of the cro$d& in a $ay that res"ects and honours the "eo"le you deal $ith in your life.

Ironically $hen $e neglect "eo"le s7ills the co!"leC /usiness and social infrastructure of our
$orld can fall over in a !o!ent. What do I !eanJ

#ave you ever $al7ed into the store of a !aAor nation$ide retailer and $al7ed through the
!ulti!illion dollar "re!ises only to find no/ody to serve youJ

#ave you ever "honed your /an7 and got a /usy signal or even $orse got cut off des"ite their huge
custo!er service focused advertising ca!"aigns.

#o$ a/out in your $or7"laceJ #ave you ever done a fantastic Ao/& stayed late to get it done and
felt ta7en for grantedJ he cor"orate slogan a/out caring for the $elfare of the staff rings hollo$
after this ha""ens !ore than once.

,n the other hand if you learn fro! the !ost successful individuals and co!"anies you $ill find
one trait in co!!on -- eCcellent "eo"le s7ills.

#ere are three $ays to /eco!e !ore successful /y develo"ing your "eo"le s7ills5

7 Learn from people who mana0e to remain cheerful in the face of ma++i4e challen0e+ and
+tre++,

A good friend of !ine $as on the verge of losing his /usiness last year /ut you $ould never have
guessed it. #e $as al$ays s!iling and confident things $ould get /etter. #e so!eho$ !anaged to
still treat his staff $ell even $hen he $as $orried a/out running out of !oney.

>y listening to hi! and $atching hi! co"e $ith eCtre!e financial "ressure I learned a lot. #is
/elief that everything $ould $or7 out 7e"t hi! s!iling even $hile facing so!e very dar7 hours.

You too need to /eco!e /etter under "ressure. Anyone can co"e $ell $hen things are going $ell.
It is only $hen you shine under "ressure that you "rove to yourself and the $orld that you are
destined for /etter things.

9 E6ceptional people +5ill+ happen at the mar0in,

o go fro! average to good and fro! good to eCcellent is "ossi/le in a short ti!e $hen you !a7e
incre!ental i!"rove!ents each day.

You do not need to change your "ersonality or go on a t$o $ee7 course. Si!"ly focus on listening
s7ills& on non ver/al co!!unication and on /uilding confidence.

%ead so!e good /oo7s& get advice fro! eC"erts and a""ly $hat you learn. >y !a7ing only very
slight i!"rove!ents $here it !atters !ost you $ill 1uic7ly develo" eCce"tional "eo"le s7ills.
=3

he very /est "erfor!ers in s"ort and in /usiness are only !arginally /etter than their closest
co!"etitors and these slight !argins !a7e all the difference /et$een $inning and losing.

Ai! to !a7e !arginal i!"rove!ents in your a/ility to co!!unicate $ith confidence and your
results $ill i!"rove dra!atically. :o$ $ould /e a great ti!e to get started)

: #ay what you mean and mean what you +ay

9ar7 $ain fa!ously co!!ented that co!!on sense is not that co!!on and today sincerity and
honesty are far fro! co!!on either.

You can stand out fro! the cro$d /y !a7ing a "oint of saying $hat you !ean instead of saying
$hat you thin7 "eo"le $ant to hear. Insincerity is a ga!e you can never $in as you are al$ays
living in fear of getting caught out.

If you follo$ through on $hat you say "eo"le $ill res"ect you for your integrity and you $ill /e
7no$n and a""reciated as so!eone $ho can /e counted on.

>e unusual -- hold yourself to a high standard of integrity and co!!it to saying $hat you !ean
and doing $hat you say you $ill.

When you live li7e this each day other "eo"le develo" confidence in you and in $hat you say. And
success in the $orld gets a $hole lot easier $ith a tea! of "eo"le $ho /elieve in you "aving the
road ahead.


.eter 9ur"hy is a "ea7 "erfor!ance eC"ert. #e recently "roduced a very "o"ular free re"ort5 ;3
Si!"le Ste"s to Develo"ing -o!!unication -onfidence. A""ly no$ /ecause it is availa/le for a
li!ited ti!e only at5 htt"544$$$.ho$total7$ithconfidence.co!4re"ort.ht!



=@
H! T $E'IN Y") L")NEY T #"CCE##

>eco!ing successful re1uires a lifestyle change. It re1uires that you 7no$ $here you are going&
$here you $ant to /e& /ut !ost i!"ortantly& it re1uires that you 7no$ ho$ you $ill get there)

$efore you be0in your Eourney to +ucce++- a+5 your+elf the+e Gue+tion+,,,

What do I $ant in lifeJ
What do I $ant fro! !y /usinessJ
What is !y o/AectiveJ
What a! I here forJ
Where do I $ant !y /usiness to /e in L !onths& ; year& 2 years& F yearsJ

,nce you have ans$ered these 1uestions $rite the! do$n as if you have already acco!"lished
your goal.

#tart in thi+ manner,

'igure out $here you $ant your life to /e F years fro! no$. DonEt hold /ac7& this is the "art $here
you figure out $hat your drea!s are& $hat your ulti!ate goal is. o clearly understand this "oint
$e are going to use a real life story of ho$ so!eone can acco!"lished his4her drea!s.

LetEs ta7e AdrianEs F year drea! for eCa!"le& and letEs hel" hi! figure out ho$ he can acco!"lish
his drea!s.

Adrian $as /orn in >ra+il on Se"te!/er ;@& ;Q=3.
Adrian is 33 years old& he has never finished high school& and is no$ living in South -arolina&
0nited States. #e $or7s at the -oca--ola factory and !a7es W;Q&333 a year.
Adrian has al$ays had /ig drea!s& and $ants so!ething /etter for his life& he $ants to have a
L figure inco!e& and he 7no$s that $or7ing at a factory is Aust not going to cut it.
#e $ants a /ig house O W233&333 P
A s$i!!ing "ool in his /ac7 yard. O "art of the house P
A /rand ne$ -adillac <scalade O W23&333 P
#e $ants to visit his ho!e land O W2F&333 P
#e $ants to get !arried to his fianc\e& and have a /ig $edding& they have /een engaged for 3
years and Adrian has not /een a/le to afford a /ig $edding. O W2F&333 P

%ealistically s"ea7ing& thereEs no "ossi/le $ay that Adrian can afford to acco!"lish his drea!s
$ithin F years& /ecause in F years he $ill have only !ade WQF&333.

In order to achieve his goals he re1uires an additional W23F&333& $hich $ould in turn re1uire an
additional ;2 years $or7ing at the factory& not to !ention his daily& and !onthly eC"enses li7e
%ent& 'ood& >ills& etc.

Adrian& the o"ti!ist that he is doesnEt allo$ the fact that he needs an additional W23F&333 !ini!u!
to sto" hi! fro! acco!"lishing his drea!s. Adrian has a vision -- LetEs fast for$ard for a second&
shall $e... he date is 9arch =th& 2332.

Adrian Aust ca!e /ac7 $ith his $ife fro! vacation& $here they $ere visiting >ra+il for ; full year.
=F

As they arrive at their house& they see their -adillac <scalade& and their 233= >9W "ar7ed in their
drive$ay. hey are tired fro! the long flight and decide to go relaC in their Jacu++i found in their
/ac7 yard. he Jacu++i is Aust a fe$ feet a$ay fro! their s$i!!ing "ool.

As you have guessed it& Adrian no longer $or7s at the -oca -ola factory& /ecause if he did he
$ouldnEt have over ; 9illion dollars in his /an7 account.

9ost i!"ortantly& Adrian is ha""y to /e alive and $ell as he no$ enAoys a luCurious lifestyle.

Adrian has acco!"lished his goals and drea!s& and is no$ living the life that he deserves& the life
he has al$ays $anted.

Life is *ood)

Adrian 7ne$ that /efore he could acco!"lish his drea!s& he had to have a clear vision of $here he
$anted to /e& and $ho he $anted to /eco!e.

Adrian 7ne$ that his Ao/ at the factory $as not going to cut it& and $as not going to "rovide the
ty"e of inco!e that he deserved& therefore he /egan to research else$here.

Adrian /egan researching the Internet in ho"es of starting his o$n /usiness.

Since Adrian didnEt have !uch ti!e to design his o$n "roducts& nor the resources to start u" a
co!"any fro! scratch. #e /egan researching for co!"anies that could hel" hi! generate eCtra
inco!e.

After failing over and over again& he stu!/led u"on a site that $as going to hel" hi! create
guaranteed !onthly inco!e. Since Adrian $as ne$ to the Internet he didnEt 7no$ !uch !ar7eting
strategies& nor did he have any 7no$ ho$ on $here to /egin. #e than /egan to learn& follo$& and
a""ly the !ar7eting strategies found in the co!"anyEs !ar7eting "lan.

,ver the neCt fe$ !onths Adrian /egan creating a healthy secondary inco!e& and eventually he
!anaged to 1uit his Ao/ at the -oca -ola factory and $as on trac7 to acco!"lishing his drea!s.
he drea!s he al$ays $anted for hi!self.

Within F years& Adrian !ade over ;3 ti!es the a!ount of !oney he thought he needed to
acco!"lish his drea!s.

-ongratulations Adrian)

How did he accompli+h thi+D

Adrian /egan learning everything he could a/out his co!"anyEs !ar7eting "lan. When he reali+ed
that this co!"any could realistically hel" hi! acco!"lish his drea!& he /egan a""lying his ne$ly
ac1uired 7no$ledge.

Adrian had /ig drea!s in !ind& and therefore he had to go the eCtra !ile in order to !a7e sure
they ca!e true. #e started designing a "lan that $as going to hel" hi! attain his long ter! drea!.

=L
he "lan included short ter! goals& as $ell as daily goals to acco!"lish each and every day.

he 7ey to AdrianEs success $as learning and a""lying his ne$ly ac1uired 7no$ledge& as $ell as
acco!"lishing his daily goals.

AdrianH+ Plan1

Learn ho$ to "ro!ote his /usiness on the Internet
Learn ho$ others have succeeded& and !odel after their success
]A""ly $hat he learned ]
:ever *ive 0")
Write a daily to do list
Design Short er! *oals
Design ; 9onth *oals
Design ; Year *oals
Design 2 Year *oals
Design F Year *oals
Acco!"lish $hat is found on his daily o-Do list
Acco!"lish his ; 9onth *oals
Acco!"lish his ; Year *oals
Acco!"lish his 2 Year *oals
Acco!"lish his F Year *oals
Acco!"lishing the a/ove $as the /asis of ho$ AdrianEs drea!s $ere acco!"lished.

After Adrian acco!"lished each s!all ste"& he 7ne$ that he $as one ste" closer to his long ter!
drea!.

Adrian encountered a lot of o/stacles along the $ay& and he never gave u". In the /ac7 of his !ind
he 7ne$ that one day he $as going to have a /ig house& a /rand ne$ car& and $ould visit his
ho!eland.

%egardless of $hat o/stacles Adrian faced along the $ay& #< :<D<% *AD< 0.)

Adrian learned that the difference /et$een those $ho !a7e a L - = 'igure inco!e& and those $ho
/arely !a7e a F 'igure inco!e& $as that those $ho give u" never succeed& and those $ho succeed
never give u")

What can you learn fro! AdrianJ

You decide)



Dave ,rigano is a 2@ year old entre"reneur that succeeded in the online $orld in !erely 3 years.
With the right !ind setting he gro$ed his $ealth $ith !illions. Want to o$n the techni1ues that
he used to create these !illions of dollars5 htt"544$$$.he9illionairLife.co!

==
E**ECTI&E #T)ATE'IE# *) #TPPIN'
P)C)A#TINATIN

You $ill have the greatest success if you read the first ne$sletter and ta7e so!e ti!e to o/serve
your o$n "rocrastination "atterns. ,nce you have acco!"lished that& choose a fe$ of the
strategies outlined here. Kee" $or7ing at it until you understand $hat you need to do to sto"
"utting things off.

#et #pecific 'oal+

he !ost effective goals are s"ecific& !easura/le& and achieva/le. An eCa!"le of a good goal is& MI
$ill /uy "aint on 'riday and "aint the living roo! on Saturday.M his is /etter than saying& MI a!
going to get the house ready to sell.M

#et Prioritie+

Write do$n all the things that you need to do& and "lace the! in order of i!"ortance. he !ost
i!"ortant tas7s /elong at the to" of your list and the distractions go at the /otto!. Start at the to"
of your list and $or7 your $ay do$n.

r0ani2e Your !or5

Set u" a syste! for yourself. .re"are a daily schedule and 7ee" it $ithin vie$ during your $or7ing
ti!e. List the tas7s for each day. -hec7 things off as you co!"lete the!. When you are $or7ing
on a "roAect& lay out all of the needed su""lies or !aterials /efore you /egin.

Di4ide and ConGuer

So!eti!es a "roAect is over$hel!ing if you thin7 a/out all of the $or7 that is involved. Do
yourself a favour5 >rea7 the activity do$n into s!aller ste"s and set "rogress goals for each of the
ste"s. his is es"ecially hel"ful $hen you are /eginning a $riting "roAect& studying for a degree& or
/uilding a ne$ set of s7ills. 'or eCa!"le& if you need to $rite a re"ort& !a7e an outline /efore you
start $riting. If you have to clean your house& !a7e your goal to do the first t$o roo!s /y ;3533&
t$o !ore /y noon& and t$o !ore /y 2533. -hec7 tas7s off your outline as you co!"lete the!.

.a5e It a 'ame

urn the te!"tation to avoid $or7ing into a challenge. 0se your i!agination. 'or eCa!"le& if you
need to study the first five cha"ters of your history /oo7& "retend that you are a su/stitute teacher
and $ill need to lecture on the !aterial to!orro$. a7e notes and organi+e the infor!ation into an
outline that you could s"ea7 fro!. So!eti!es changing the fra!e around a situation !a7es it !ore
interesting and less of a chore.

#chedule a #mall Amount of Time

ell yourself that you $ill only s"end ten !inutes on the tas7 right no$& Aust to get your feet $et.
Wor7 on the tas7 for the ten !inutes and then choose $hether to continue for ten !ore !inutes.
-ontinue doing this until you decide to sto"& or $hen you are finished $ith the tas7. If you sto"
=2
$or7ing on the tas7 /efore it is finished& s"end a fe$ !ore !inutes to "lan a strategy for the neCt
ste"s.

When you are te!"ted to su/stitute a fun /ut uni!"ortant activity Osuch as reading a !aga+ine or
$atching the $eather channelP for an i!"ortant "roAect Osuch as finishing "ages of your re"ortP&
!a7e the su/stitute activity your re$ard for doing the i!"ortant tas7. Do the high-"riority Ao/ first
and re$ard yourself $ith the fun activity.

!ard ff #elf(Defeatin0 Thou0ht+

elling yourself that you are going to do a "oor Ao/ or even fail can seriously under!ine your
a/ility to function. It is i!"ortant to reali+e that your negative state!ents are not facts. Kee" your
focus on the "resent !o!ent and the "ositive ste"s you can ta7e to$ard acco!"lishing your goals.
If these thoughts are /ased on a need for "erfection or lo$ self-estee! Odescri/ed in the M9anaging
.erfectionis!M ne$sletterP& you !ay $ant to $or7 on these issues.

.a5e a Commitment

9a7e a ver/al and $ritten co!!it!ent to co!"leting the tas7 or "roAect. Write a contract and sign
it. ell so!eone a/out your "lans and as7 the! to follo$ u" $ith you.

,ne trainer $anted to create a ho$-to $or7/oo7 and !ar7et it to other training "rofessionals.
After $ee7s of "rocrastination& she decided to !otivate herself /y creating a deadline. She $rote
an ad for the $or7/oo7 and "laced it in the "rofessional "u/lication that she 7ne$ her colleagues
$ould /e reading. When her tele"hone /egan to ring $ith orders for the $or7/oo7& she suddenly
/eca!e very focused.

)emind Your+elf

Write notes to yourself and "ost the! in cons"icuous "laces. Leave the! $here you $ill see the!-
on "laces li7e the outside of your /riefcase& the /athroo! !irror& refrigerator& television& your front
door& and the dash/oard of your car. he !ore often you re!ind yourself of $hat you "lan to
acco!"lish& the !ore li7ely it is that you $ill follo$ through $ith action.

)eward Your+elf

%einforce!ent is a very effective $ay to !otivate yourself. When you co!"lete even the !ost
!inor tas7& /e sure to ac7no$ledge $hat you have done. his is es"ecially i!"ortant in the
/eginning $hen you are struggling $ith "rocrastination /ehaviours. After you have !astered these
issues and have regained your "ea7 "roductivity& donEt forget to cele/rate the co!"letion of the /ig
"roAects. You $or7ed hard for it and shouldnEt ta7e it for granted.

-----------------------

*arrett -oan is a "rofessional thera"ist& coach and "sychothera"ist. #is t$o :orthern :e$ Jersey
office locations are accessi/le to individuals $ho reside in >ergen -ounty& <sseC -ounty& .assaic
-ounty& %oc7land -ounty& and 9anhattan. *arrett also offers online and tele"hone coaching and
counselling services for those $ho live at a distance. #e can /e accessed through
htt"544$$$.creativecounselors.co! or at 23;-333-@333.
=Q
THE P!E) * .IND(I.A'E)Y

oday I feel ins"ired that I should s"ea7 !ore to the fra!e$or7 of a successful !indset. WeEve
already discussed ho$ to ignore negative thoughts and encourage "ositive thoughts /y !onitoring
$hat $e allo$ to d$ell in our !inds. WeEve also tal7ed a/out the "o$er of affir!ations in
changing our inner-tal7 to things $e $ant in our lives. oday I thin7 $e should focus on ho$ to
use vivid i!agery to o/tain the things of our heartEs desire. I call this M9ind-I!agery.M

,ly!"ic cha!"ions and other high-"erfor!ing athletes understand the "o$er of the !ind and the
"o$er of !ind-i!agery. hey incor"orate training for the !ind as a "art of their daily training
regi!en. :ot only do they have strength-coaches and techni1ue coaches& /ut they have !ind-
coaches as $ell.

hese athletes "icture the!selves !a7ing the thro$& hurdle& !ove& stro7e& etc. that /rings the! the
*old& and they truly /elieve that /efore they start a co!"etition& theyEve already $on it. In our last
article& I s"o7e a/out 9uha!!ed Ali and his use of affir!ations. he reason athletes use !ind-
i!agery is /ecause they 7no$ that $hat the !ind /elieves& the /ody achieves.

So if $orld-class athletes are using these techni1ues to succeed in their "rofessions& $hy not us to
succeed in oursJ LetEs tal7 a/out ho$ $e can use !ind-i!agery in our lives. ItEs i!"ortant to note
that the su/conscious !ind does not understand the difference /et$een reality and i!agination.
What this really !eans is that $e can sho$ the su/conscious !ind "ictures of $hat $e $ant to /e
our reality and the su/conscious !ind $ill achieve it.

If you are li7e !e and !illions of others& using !ind-i!agery !ay /e hard for you. IEve heard that
the average "erson in the 0S $atches !ore than siC hours of television a day) Incredi/le isnEt itJ)
>ut in light of that 7no$ledge& itEs not so incredi/le to see that !any of us have lost our
i!aginative a/ilities. *ranted& $e !ay not have had !any to start $ith& /ut $ith so !any things to
$atch on D and in the !ovie theatres& $e no longer are re1uired to use our i!aginations at all.

>ecause the "ictures $e sho$ our !ind are so i!"ortant& itEs no sur"rise to !e that so !any of us
have trou/le "rogra!!ing our !inds for success. ,nly @T of 0S citi+ens are truly financially free
at retire!ent age) We have lost the a/ility to i!agine ourselves achieving goals and /eing truly
successful in the $ays $e desire.

>ecause the su/conscious !ind uses "ictures to !anifest $hat $e $ant& $e need to learn to re-
"rogra! our !inds /y learning to use our i!agination again.

LetEs start this /y ta7ing another loo7 at the goals $e have in our lives. We need to sho$ the !ind
$hat it is that $e $ant. What is it that $e truly desireJ S"end a fe$ 1uiet !o!ents !editating and
i!agining $hat those things $ould loo7 li7e. If it is a drea! ho!e you desire& thin7 a/out ho$ the
roo!s are laid out and decorated. If it is a drea! Ao/& thin7 a/out ho$ your office $ill loo7& $hat
you $ill $ear& and the a$ards on your $all. 9a7e a !ental note of these i!ages /ecause $e $ill
/e using the! fro! no$ on.

If you have affir!ations& add "ictures to the!. If you have the! !e!ori+ed& add the
corres"onding "ictures and hold the! in your !ind $hile you s"ea7 the affir!ation. If your
affir!ations are $ritten do$n so!e$here& add "ictures to the "a"er on $hich the affir!ations are
$ritten.

23
'or eCa!"le& if you are affir!ing a !illion-dollar /an7 account and your drea! ho!e in the hills&
find "ictures of the ho!e you $ould li7e to have& and find "ictures of a /an7 vault full of cash and
"aste the! onto the sa!e sheet $ith your affir!ations.

M-hic7en Sou" for the SoulM co-creator Jac7 -anfield had so!e very i!"ortant insight on ho$ to
su"ercharge the "o$er of !ind-i!agery. #e reco!!ends that you use !ind-i!agery /y i!agining
you are in a !ovie. In the 1uote /elo$ note ho$ he reco!!ends you see Y,0 I: the !ovie as
o""osed to WA-#I:* a !ovie ,' Y,0. #e says& MIf youEre $atching a !ovie of you& you see
your $hole /ody u" on the screen. >ut $hen youEre in the !ovie& you Aust see your o$n hands.
YouEre loo7ing out through your o$n face. You canEt see your o$n face right no$. We call this
associated i!agery versus disassociated i!agery& $hich is !ore "o$erful to "roduce change. So
$henever you visuali+e so!ething you $ant& visuali+e it fro! inside of your /odyM Oi.e. You In the
!ovieP M$hat it $ould loo7 li7e if you had it. DonEt see yourself outside of your $orld. ItEs not as
"o$erful.M

So& for the neCt t$o $ee7s& I $ant you to latch onto the i!ages that go through your !ind $hen
you !editate and i!agine ho$ your goals $ould loo7 $hen achieved. hen& continue t$ice a day
$ith the affir!ations& eCce"t for no$ I $ant those i!ages youEve selected to /e included and to /e
a central "art of your daily !ind eCercises. 9a7e sure that you ta7e 9r. -anfieldEs advice and see
the i!ages fro! inside your o$n /ody.

I ho"e that your life already sho$s signs of "o$erful& "ositive change. I loo7 for$ard to s"ea7ing
$ith you again in a cou"le of $ee7s.

o Your Success&
Joel S. :elson



2;
!HAT Y" NEED T D T $E #"CCE##*"L

What do you need to do to /e successfulJ If you are searching the net you !ay feel that you need
to sign u" for the latest affiliate !ar7eting "rogra!!e. ,r "erha"s you need to /e a !e!/er of the
latest 9L9 sche!e. ,n the other hand it !ay /e that you need to follo$ the directions of the
latest $e/ !ar7eting guru. <ach of theses routes give you the o""ortunity of /eing successful /ut
$ithout courage& +eal and enthusias! you $ill Aoin the ran7s of the 23T "lus $ho fail.

You need the courage to identify your drea!. Your "assion. You need the courage to stic7 $ith the
"rocess $hile you concretise your focus and then to stay the course $hen others are telling you
that it is a stu"id idea and $ill never $or7.

o start your o$n /usiness is difficult enough. It /eco!es virtually i!"ossi/le $hen you select
so!ething that only loo7s good or loo7s interesting and you donEt have "assion for. o /e
successful you !ust identify your true calling in life. Your "assion. -an you i!agine $hat the
result $ould /e if you allo$ed your "assion to /e your focus in lifeJ So. What is it that turns you
onJ What !otivates youJ What do you constantly tal7 to yourself and others a/outJ What eCcites
youJ

,nce you have identified your focus& your calling& you no$ need +eal and enthusias! to carry it
through. o /e successful. ?eal and enthusias! is !ore than deter!ination. ItEs a/out co!!it!ent&
fun& enAoy!ent. So!ething you $ant to do /ecause you /elieve in it. A natural $ay to reach your
ai! and o/Aective in life. A /elief that !eans you are $illing to live $ith your drea! 2@ hours a
day& seven days a $ee7.

You need to see life the $ay a s"orts"erson does. -an you co!!it to $or7ing day in day out $ith
the sole "ur"ose of $or7ing to$ards your drea!J -an you 7ee" going $hen nothing a""ears to /e
ha""eningJ -an you hold onto the slightest increase in your a/ility as a sign of successJ Are you
dedicated to continually i!"roving your "ersonal /estJ -an you /elieve in yourself and your
"assion enough to rethin7 the for!ula $hen the /usiness reaches crisis "ointJ -an you ste" /ac7
and honestly analyse your actions $hen you have Aust lost a "otential sale or the ti!e you s"ent on
a !ar7eting ca!"aign $as $astedJ -an you /e a totally focussed individualJ

#o$ever& +eal and enthusias! alone are useless. ItEs li7e driving a car at full s"eed $ithout
7no$ing the destination. Alone they $ill not /ring you success& /ut cou"led $ith an ai! and
o/Aective& a focus& a "assion& a desire to constantly i!"rove and courage then& li7e the
s"orts"erson& the $orld is your oyster.

When you do so!ething you love doing& ti!e is i!!aterial and ha""iness and "ersonal gro$th
naturally follo$. You $or7 /ecause you $ant to and enAoy it. You are fulfilling your "assion and
/oy it sho$s. .eo"le /uy your enthusias!& your eCcite!ent. hey can see the eCcite!ent in your
eyesB they can read it in your $ritings.

Loo7 at your /usiness and !aterials5
Do they sho$ eCcite!ent& "assionJ
Would you /uy fro! you& your site& if you $ere a custo!erJ

22
The +ecret to +ucce++ in life i+ +imple1

If you have the "o$er of deter!ination in your thoughts& every tas7 is "ossi/le.

hose $ho are successful in their chosen field have an eCtraordinary degree of self confidence.
hey 7no$ they are living their "assion. he only thing on their !inds is to /e the /est. o give
their /est at every o""ortunity. hey 7no$ that the 7ey to success is their !ental toughness.

What a/out youJ here are no shortcuts. You can only /e successful /ecause you have a "assion
and the +eal and enthusias! to $or7 hard and con1uer your ina""ro"riate ha/its. he talent to
focus and refocus your activities. he courage to stand out fro! the cro$d. ItEs not the !oney that
drives "eo"le to success itEs the ga!e& itEs $anting to /e the /est. Do you have $hat it ta7esJ -an
you do $hat you need to do to /e successfulJ





*raha! and Julie

$$$.des7to"-!editation.co!

o see !ore of our $or7 "lease go to5 $$$.des7to"-!editation.co!

graha!Udes7to"-!editation.co!

23
THE :(#TEP *)."LA T #"CCE##


>elieve it or not& there is a s"ecial 3-ste" for!ula that !a7es "eo"le successful.

0nfortunately& you canEt /uy the for!ula. >ut if you could& it $ould /e hotter than reality
television sho$s)

So& $hat is this a!a+ing 3-ste" for!ula IE! tal7ing a/outJ

5ay, Here it i+1

;. #ave a goal.
2. Do $hat you love.
3. #ave relentless desire and deter!ination.

hatEs it. hatEs the for!ula.

:o$ donEt /e fooled /y the si!"licity of the for!ula. After all& if it $ere easy& everyone $ould /e
successful and $e all 7no$ thatEs not the case.

#o$ever& the for!ula is definitely via/le for anyone $ho! religiously follo$s the ste"s.

LetH+ +tart with the fir+t part of the formula1

37,8 Ha4e a 0oal,

<very ounce of hu!an "rogress--our inventions /ig and s!all& our !edical and scientific
discoveries& our engineering achieve!ents& our /usiness successes--$ere first visuali+ed /efore
they /eca!e realities. #igh-tech satellites or/it the earth /ecause scientists !ade it their goal to
con1uer s"ace.

So& $hat is a goalJ

A goal is an o/Aective& a "ur"ose. A goal is !ore than Aust a drea!& itEs a drea! acted u"on. A goal
is !ore than Aust sitting /ac7 and M$ishing you could.M A goal is a clear-as- glass& Mhis is $hat
IE! $or7ing to$ard.M

:othing ha""ens& no ste"s for$ard are ta7en& until a goal is esta/lished. Without goals& individuals
Aust $ander ai!lessly through life under-achieving. hey stu!/le and /u!/le along& not having a
clue $here theyEre going. So& as a result& they never get any$here.

*oals are as essential to success as air is to life. :o one ever stu!/les into success& $ithout having
a clear-cut goal. OWinning the lottery doesnEt countP. Develo" a clear "icture of $here you $ant to
go.

Write your goals do$n and revie$ the! every single day. 'or!ulate a ga!e "lan. As7 yourself
$here you $ant to /e a !onth fro! no$--a year fro! no$--3 years& F years& ;3 years.

2@
a"e a "icture of your goal on your /athroo! !irror and on your refrigerator--$hether itEs a ne$
house& a ne$ car& $hatever.

9a7e visuali+ing and thin7ing a/out your goals a daily eCercise. >ecause it is only /y constantly
visuali+ing your goals $ill they /eco!e a reality.

And donEt $orry a/out set/ac7s& detours or little /u!"s in the road or /ig /u!"s either for that
!atter. Set/ac7s ha""en to everyone. hatEs life. 'orget a/out it. 9a7e the necessary adAust!ents
and 7ee" going.

0" neCt is the second "art of the for!ula5

39,8 Do what you lo4e,

hereEs an old saying& MDo $hat you love and youEll never have to $or7 a day in your life)M

Do you understand $hat that !eansJ It !eans if you $or7 at doing so!ething you truly love and
enAoy& it $onEt really see! li7e $or7 at all.

S"ea7ing fro! "ersonal eC"erience& IE! here to tell you that is a/solutely the truth. Let !e give
you an eCa!"le of $hat IE! tal7ing a/out.

A fe$ years ago& I !ade it !y goal to have a successful /usiness on the Internet& even though I had
no co!"uter eC"erience and 7ne$ a/solutely nothing a/out the Internet.

At that ti!e& I didnEt even o$n a co!"uter. All I had $as !y We/D and a /oatload of
deter!ination.

Well& !y friends& to !a7e a long story short& IE! ha""y to say that IEve achieved that goal. And
no$ I get to stay ho!e all day& everyday and "lay on !y co!"uter& $riting articles li7e this one
and "u/lishing !y MLetEs 9a7e 9oney :e$sletter.M

So& ho$ did I do itJ

I $ent to the li/rary and taught !yself ho$ to use a co!"uter. I read /oo7 after /oo7 on ho$ the
Internet $or7s and I taught !yself /asic #9L Overy /asicP.

Any$ay& the /otto! line is& IE! no$ doing $hat I love. 9ost !ornings I get u" at siC oEcloc7&
/ecause I canEt $ait to get started. And !ost nights& I donEt get offline until a/out eight or nine
oEcloc7.

:o$ /y !y calculations& those are ;@ or ;F hour $or7 days. >ut it doesnEt see! li7e $or7 to !e&
/ecause IE! doing $hat I love. hose ;@ or ;F hour days fly right /y--and thatEs the $hole "oint)

MDo $hat you love and youEll never have to $or7 a day in your life)M

If you hate your Ao/& find a $ay to do $hat you love so that you can 1uit. You !ay even have to
$or7 another "art-ti!e Ao/ or so!ething to get to that "oint. >ut if you really and truly $ant it
/adly enough& youEll do $hatever it ta7es.
2F

'inally& $e co!e to the third and last "art of the for!ula5

3:,8 )elentle++ de+ire and determination,

It is also the !ain reason $hy !ost "eo"le donEt succeed. hey donEt have relentless desire and
deter!ination. I $ant you to co!!it the follo$ing $ords to !e!ory5

MAny success you achieve $ill /e in direct "ro"ortion to your desire and deter!ination. he !ore
desire and deter!ination you have& the greater $ill /e your success.M

#ereEs another eCa!"le to illustrate !y "oint5

9ost "eo"le thin7 itEs Ko/e >ryantEs a!a+ing talent that sets hi! a"art fro! the other "layers in
the :>A. And !a7e no !ista7e& his talent does "lay a significant role in his success. >ut $hat
really !a7es Ko/e >ryant s"ecial is his Mrelentless desire and deter!ination.M #e Aust $ants to $in
!ore than every/ody else.

ItEs no secret that Ko/e "ractices longer and harder than Aust a/out anyone else in the :>A& $ith
the "ossi/le eCce"tion of Karl 9alone. #e also $or7s out li7e a de!on.

>ut thatEs eCactly $hat it ta7es. You have to /e as !aniacal a/out success as Ko/e >ryant is. IEll
re"eat so!ething I said earlier in this article5

MAny success you achieve $ill /e in direct "ro"ortion to your desire and deter!ination. he !ore
desire and deter!ination you have& the greater $ill /e your success.M

:o$ after reading this article& IE! sure !any of you are $ondering $here and ho$ to get started.

he very first thing I reco!!end is a co!"lete re- "rogra!!ing of your !ind. >ecause /efore you
can start $al7ing do$n that road to success& you first have to get your !ind right.

In that regard& there are t$o /oo7s I consider a/solute 90S reads& if you are at all serious a/out
/eing successful in $hatever it is you choose to do.

he /oo7s are& Mhin7 and *ro$ %ichM /y :a"oleon #ill and Mhe 9agic of hin7ing >igM /y Dr.
David Sch$art+.

Your local /oo7store or li/rary should have /oth /oo7s& since theyEre all-ti!e classics. If not& try
A!a+on.co!. >ut $hatever you do& !a7e the invest!ent in yourself and get those /oo7s)

Another thing& if youEre !arried or living $ith so!eone and you suddenly announce to your s"ouse
or lover that you $ant to eventually 1uit your Ao/ and Mdo $hat you love.M DonEt eC"ect a $hole lot
of su""ort or 7isses and hugs.

0nfortunately& !ost "eo"le are conditioned to the MQ to F& retire at LF&M $ay of thin7ing.

So& if you eC"ect su""ort and encourage!ent fro! your fa!ily and friends& youEre "ro/a/ly going
to /e disa""ointed. hatEs Aust the $ay it is. 9ost li7ely& youEll "ro/a/ly hear a /unch of negativity.

2L
hatEs the "oint $hen you have to stay strong and focused. >ecause chances are& youEre going to /e
in this alone. hatEs $hy the !ind re-"rogra!!ing is so i!"ortant. ItEll hel" you stay focused and
"ositive. And if /y chance you do ha""en to have fa!ily and friends $ho do su""ort you& so !uch
the /etter)

Any$ay& thatEs it. hatEs Mhe A!a+ing 3-Ste" 'or!ula o Success)M YouEll notice not once in this
entire article did I !ention anything a/out !a7ing !ore !oney. WhyJ >ecause Mif you do $hat
you love& the !oney $ill follo$)M

In closing& if you $ant to /e successful& you !ust :<D<% give u". You !ust :<D<% 1uit.
:<D<%) :o !atter $hat)



A/out he Author

Dean .hilli"s is an Internet !ar7eting eC"ert& $riter& "u/lisher and entre"reneur. 6uestionsJ
-o!!entsJ Dean can /e reached at !ailto5 deanUlets-!a7e-!oney.net

9a7e 9oney ,nline) Internet !ar7eting eC"ert& Dean .hilli"s $ill hel" you !a7e !oney online&
starting today...*uaranteed) 'or details Aust visit !y $e/site.

We/site5 htt"544$$$.lets-!a7e-!oney.net



2=
Y" $EC.E !HAT Y" THIN% A$"T

htt"544$$$.ins"iration@everyone.co!4success4youR/eco!eR$hatRyouRthin7.ht!l

;P Drea! /igB creative visuali+ation Othin7 a/out your drea!sP !ental rehearsalB and
i!agine yourself at ;3 ti!es todayGs earnings.

2P Do $hat you love to doB /eco!e /etter and /etterB co!!it!ent is starting "ointB
co!!it!ent to eCcellenceB and /eco!e the /est at $hat you do.

3P 'ocus on your strength - theyGre uni1ueB intros"ection - $hat are theyB and as7 "eo"le you
res"ect $hat should I do.J

@P See yourself as self-e!"loyedB /e the "resident of your co!"anyB $or7 for yourselfB treat your
co!"any li7e you o$n itB and re!e!/er Hif itGs to /e& itGs u" to !e.I

FP :ever consider failureB life has u"s and do$nsB learn fro! set/ac7sB and $isdo! "lus reflection.

LP -lear sense of directionB clear sense of goalsB $or7 on the! everydayB decide $hat you $antB
and $hat "rice you $ill "ay.

=P Develo" $or7aholic !entalityB ;2 hours a dayB 2 hours to surviveB over 2 for invest!entB and
try harder.

2P *et around right "eo"leB "ositive& goal oriented and successful "eo"leB associate $ith $inners.

QP >e teacha/leB o"en to ne$ infor!ationB do not /e i!"ressed $ith your o$n
intelligenceB /e ready to learnB ta7e in ne$ infor!ationB and as7 1uestions& and advice fro! "eo"le
$ho 7no$s.

;3P >e "re"ared to cli!/ fro! "ea7 to "ea7B valley /et$een each Oe// and flo$PB u" and do$n -
al$aysB and roll $ith it.

;;P Develo" resilienceB /ounce /ac7B and re!e!/er all "ea7 "erfor!ances /ounce no !atter ho$
hard they hit.

;2P 0nloc7 your creativityB do ;3T /etterB de!and your strengthsB and stretch your originally and
s"eed.

;3P 'ocus on continuous "ersonal develo"!entB $ith /oo7s& ta"es& se!inars& reading& studying&
listening& "racticing& and develo"ing your !ind.

;@P >e an unsha7a/le o"ti!istB loo7 for the good in every situationB confident eC"ectations no
!atter ho$ /adB eC"ect to /e richB eC"ect to /e successfulB you get $hat you eC"ect& not $hat you
$antB and stay a$ay fro! negative "eo"le.

;FP Dedicate yourself to serving othersB "eo"le $ho give are the ha""iest and have the !ostB
"eo"le $ho ta7e have the /are !ini!u!B to" "erfor!ers lose the!selves in other "eo"les re$ardB
and "ut value on your service.

22
;LP Develo" a re"utation for s"eed and de"enda/ilityB develo" a sense of urgency - do it no$B get
on $ith the Ao/B and act fast on o""ortunities.

;=P >e i!"ecca/ly honest to yourself and othersB honesty& truth& integrity and a/solute trust in the
foundation of our syste!B and al$ays deliver on your co!!it!ent.

;2P -oncentrate on one thing at a ti!eB set "rioritiesB concentrate on to" tas7 ;33TB concentrate
;33T of your energy on one single tas7B $hat is the !ost valua/le use of your ti!e right no$B do
it ;33T and then go on.

;QP >e decisiveB !a7e decisions 1uic7lyB thin7 and actB characteristic of genius is to !a7e
decisions 1uic7lyB re!e!/er a /ad decision is /etter than no decision at all.

23P >ac7 your "lans and goals $ith "ersistence and deter!inationB stic7 to it longer than any/ody
elseB your !easure of /elief is yourselfB "ersistence is a ha/itB and never 1uit.

2;P Self !asteryB self controlB self disci"lineB develo" ca"acity to force yourself to do $hat you
7no$ you !ust do - $hen you should do it - $hether you li7e it or notB and !aster 7ey to riches.




2Q
H H ! ! T T ) )E E. . & &E E $ $# #T TA AC CL LE E# # T T P PE E) )# # N NA AL L
' ') ) ! !T TH H
Do you 7no$ ho$ to calculate the a!ount of fear holding you /ac7 in lifeJ a7e a "en and a "iece
of "a"er. ,n to" of the "age& $rite do$n your current age& for instance M3@ years old.M At the
/otto!& indicate ho$ old you intend to gro$ /efore you die. MDeath at 23M is a reasona/le target.
:o$ co!es the !athe!atical "art of the eCercise. Dra$ a straight line connecting your current age
$ith your death. hat line re"resents the nu!/er of days that you have left on earth. In our
eCa!"le& the difference /et$een 23 and 3@ leaves you $ith @L years& that is& al!ost ;=.333 days.
he last "art of the ga!e consists of deciding ho$ you are going to use those ;=.333 days.
:o$& dra$ a vertical line on your "age& $hich divides your future in t$o areas. ,n the left side of
the line& you can $rite do$n safe and co!!on"lace goals. ,n the right side& difficult and
disru"tive a!/itions. he rules of the eCercise allo$ you to list as !any activities as you $ish&
"rovided that you donEt run out of ti!e to live.
>oring "roAects are easy to na!e and 1uantify. hey include& a!ongst others& loo7ing for /etter
Ao/s& cleaning the house and going on holidays. DonGt forget !undane tas7s such as $or7ing five
days a $ee7& $atching television& $al7ing the dog& $ashing your car once "er !onth and sho""ing
for ne$ clothes. When your re!aining ter! of @L years is u"& you are dead.
You only need to $orry a/out the o""osite side of the line if you have unused ti!e& $hich is
unli7ely. he truth is that !ost "eo"le $ill allocate their co!"lete lifes"an to left-side tas7s.
What a/out the right side of the lineJ Does anyone actually $rite do$n adventurous& ris7y goalsJ
Are there "eo"le foolish enough to ris7 total failure in order to "ursue their drea!sJ Is it not /etter
to stic7 to attaina/le o/AectivesJ his is the ty"e of activities that usually co!e u" under the la/el
Mdifficult and disru"tive5M
;. Live in .aris for a year OF33 days& including "re"aration and re!ovalsP
2. Start u" and gro$ a glo/al /usiness O3333 daysP
3. Write t$enty great /oo7s O3333 daysP
@. Save and invest until you are a/le to live fro! dividends OL333 daysP
F. Learn to coo7 according to good nutrition "rinci"les O333 daysP
L. Lose $eight and ac1uire ha/its that allo$ you to stay in good sha"e OF33 daysP
,ne could argue that this ga!e is useless& since it has no $inner and no loser. Since the sa!e
individual a""ears on /oth sides of the line& $hat is the "ointJ What is the "ur"ose of the eCerciseJ
he ans$er is that& "aradoCically& the su/Aects on each side of the line are different "ersons.
,ne of the! is /oring& the other fearless. ,ne of the! is ai!less& the other deter!ined. ,ne of
the! is "redicta/le& the other eCciting. he lesson is that& one day& the @L years $ill /e consu!ed
all the sa!e. At the end& results $ill /e trivial or s"ectacular& !eaningless or irre"lacea/le.
If you donEt li7e the outco!e of your calculations& ta7e a /lan7 "iece of "a"er& dra$ a ne$ vertical
line& and start the eCercise again. After a fe$ ti!es& you $ill get 1uite good at it. At one "oint& you
$ill /egin to fear /oring activities !ore than ris7y ones. If you are already there& congratulations&
no$ you 7no$ ho$ to $in the ga!e.
Q3
T Th he e A Ar rt t o of f O Ob bs st ta ac cl le e R Re em mo ov va al l
,ne of the /est $ays to go faster is to re!ove the things that slo$ you do$n. his Mo/stacle
re!ovalM is an integral "art of !any agile !ethods including Scru! and Lean. So!eti!es it is
o/vious $here an o/stacle is. here are a fe$ s!all things that can /e done easily to go faster. >ut
to get going really fast& $e need to have a dee"er understanding of o/stacles... and the Art of
,/stacle %e!oval.

!hat are b+tacle+D
An o/stacle is any /ehaviour& "hysical arrange!ent& "rocedure or chec7"oint that !a7es getting
$or7 done slo$er $ithout adding any actual contri/ution to the $or7. Activities that do add value
to our $or7 !ay /e slo$ed do$n /y o/stacles& /ut are not o/stacles in and of the!selves.

b+tacle+ and !a+te
,/stacles are the causes of $aste in a "rocess. here are !any ty"es of $aste& and for every ty"e
of $aste there are !any "ossi/le sources Oo/staclesP.

T Ty yp pe e+ + o of f b b+ +t ta ac cl le e+ +

Per+onal
.ersonal o/stacles are related to us as individuals. here are several levels at $hich these
o/stacles can sho$ u".
,utside factors in our lives such as illness or fa!ily o/ligations can /eco!e o/stacles to our $or7
at hand. hese o/stacles are hard to re!ove or avoid. <ven if $e $ould $ant to avoid an o/stacle
such as illness& it is hard to do anything a/out it in an i!!ediate sense. #o$ever& as "art of our
co!!it!ent to the grou" $e are $or7ing $ith& $e should consider doing things to generally
i!"rove our health. *ood slee"& healthy and !oderate eating& eCercise and avoidance of illness-
causing things and circu!stances are all "ossi/le co!!it!ents $e can !a7e to the grou".
Li7e$ise& $e can !a7e sure our "ersonal affairs are in order so that uneC"ected events have the
least i!"act "ossi/le. his to"ic is vast and there are !any good sources of infor!ation.

Phy+ical En4ironment
,/stacles in the "hysical environ!ent can consist of /arriers to !ove!ent or co!!unication& or a
lac7 of ade1uate "hysical resources. So!eti!es these o/stacles are easy to see /ecause their
effects are i!!ediate. 'or eCa!"le& if a tea! roo! lac7s a $hite/oard for diagra!s& 7ee"ing
notes& etc.& then the tea! !ay not /e a/le to co!!unicate as effectively.
,ther "hysical o/stacles are not so o/vious. he effects of "hysical environ!ent can /e su/tle and
not $ell-understood. .oor ergono!ics ta7e $ee7s& !onths or years for their effects to /e felt... /ut
it is inevita/le. A too-s!all tea! roo! can lead to a feeling of /eing coo"ed u" and des"eration to
get out... and eventually to resent!ent. Again this can ta7e $ee7s or !onths.

Q;

%nowled0e
A lac7 of 7no$ledge or the ina/ility to access infor!ation are o/stacles. A tea! co!"osed of
Aunior "eo"le $ho donEt have diverse eC"erience and $ho donEt have a good 7no$ledge of the
$or7 they are doing $ill have trou/le $or7ing effectively. here !ay /e /arriers "reventing the
tea! fro! learning. -o!!on /arriers include over-$or7 leading to a lac7 of ti!e or !ental
energy for learning. With Aunior "eo"le in "articular& there is a lot of "ressure to /e "roductive and
that can often /e at the eC"ense of a solid foundation of learning.

,ther ti!es& 7no$ledge-related /arriers can /e !ore i!!ediate. If a critical "iece of infor!ation
is delayed or lost this can have a large i!"act on an Agile tea! that is $or7ing in short cycles. he
tea! !ay /e te!"orarily halted $hile they $ait for infor!ation. >uilding effective infor!ation
flo$ is critical to a tea!Es "erfor!ance.

r0ani2ational
>ureaucratic "rocedures& organi+ational !is-align!ent& conflicting goals& and inefficient
organi+ational structures can all /e significant o/stacles.
,ne of the /est sources of infor!ation a/out this is the t$o /oo7s /y Ji! -ollins5 M*ood to *reatM
O%evie$P and M>uilt to LastM O%evie$P.

Cultural
So!eti!es the /eliefs $e have a/out ho$ to $or7 can /eco!e o/stacles to $or7ing !ore
effectively. hese /eliefs are often in "lace /ecause they have /een "art of $hat $e thin7 !a7es us
successful. -ultural assu!"tions can co!e fro! our fa!ilies& our co!!unities& our religious
affiliation and our national identity.
In organi+ational culture& one thing I constantly see is a "u/lic es"oused value of tea!$or7& /ut a
conflicting /ehaviour of individual "erfor!ance revie$s and ran7ing. his is cultural. It is also a
/arrier to the effective functioning of an Agile tea!. 'or cor"orate environ!ents I highly
reco!!end the -or"orate -ulture Survival *uide /y <dgar Schein.

Di+("nity
Dis-unity is one of the !ost su/tle and co!!on for!s of o/stacle. -o!"etition& legal and cultural
assu!"tion of the goodness of Mo""ositionM and ha/its of interaction including gossi" and
/ac7/iting all co!/ine to !a7e united action and thought very difficult.
his is an eCtre!ely dee" to"ic. here are !any tools and techni1ues availa/le to assist $ith tea!
/uilding. If you are interested in this to"ic& I highly reco!!end reading Mhe .ros"erity of
#u!an7indM.

Q2
Eliminate !a+te
Waste is the result of activities or environ!ental conditions that "revent a tea! fro! reaching its
goal. he o""osite of $aste is so!ething that adds value O!ore& faster or higher 1ualityP to the
desired result.
he $hole notion of eli!inating $aste co!es fro! lean !anufacturing. 9ore recently& 9ary and
o! .o""endiec7 a""lied this idea to soft$are in their /oo7 MLean Soft$are Develo"!ent5 An
Agile ool7it for Soft$are Develo"!ent 9anagersM. In this OeCcellentP /oo7& the authors list the
$astes of !anufacturing and the $astes of soft$are.
#ere I have su!!ari+ed and generali+ed these ty"es of $astes so that they a""ly in any situation5
T Th he e # #e e4 4e en n ! !a a+ +t te e+ +
;. waitin0 - caused /y delays& unreadiness& or si!"le "rocrastination
2. partially done wor5 or in4entory - caused /y su/-o"ti!al $or7flo$
3. e6tra proce++in0 or proce++e+ - caused /y "oor organi+ation or /ureaucracy
@. defect+ and rewor5 - caused /y insufficient s7ill& tools& ins"ection or filtering
F. mo4ement of people or wor5 - caused /y "hysical se"aration
L, o4erproduction or e6tra feature+ - caused /y $or7ing to$ards s"eculative goals
=. ta+5 +witchin0 - caused /y !ulti"le co!!it!ents

As $astes are eli!inated or reduced& a tea! $ill function faster and $ith higher 1uality. #o$ever&
not all $aste can /e eli!inated. So!eti!es $aste is legislated& so!eti!es $aste is an unavoida/le
/y-"roduct of $or7& so!eti!es !ista7es are !ade& and so!eti!es it ta7es a great deal of effort to
eli!inate a $aste.
In order to eli!inate $aste& first $aste has to /e detected and identified& then the underlying causes
of the $aste have to /e identified& and finally changes to the $or7 environ!ent need to /e !ade to
/oth eli!inate the cause of the $aste and the $aste itself. 9any agile $or7 "ractices hel" $ith this
"rocess.

Q3

Dalue strea! !a""ing is one "articular tool that can /e used /y a tea! or organi+ation to identify
$asteful activities. he tea! descri/es the a!ount of ti!e that $or7 ta7es to go through each
activity in their overall $or7 "rocess. :eCt& the tea! deter!ines if each activity adds value or does
not add value to the end goal. All activities are su/Aect to s"eed i!"rove!ents& and activities that
do not add value are su/Aect to eli!ination.
In order to deter!ine the causes of $aste& s"ecial attention should /e "aid to incentives and
!otivations. Wasteful /ehaviour often eCists /ecause there is so!e incentive for "eo"le to do it.
So!eti!es these incentives are eC"licit& /ut so!eti!es they are the side-effects of other things
going on in the tea!Es environ!ent. -hanging the incentives can /e an effective $ay of reducing
$aste.
>y eli!inating $aste& the tea! $ill find it has reduced frustrations& and ena/led greater
"roductivity and creativity. he tea! $ill also increase its s"eed and delivery of value& and at the
sa!e ti!e reduce defects.
)emo4in0 b+tacle+
he a/ility to identify o/stacles and understand $hy they are causing "ro/le!s is only the first
ste" in re!oving o/stacles. In Agile Wor7& the "erson "ri!arily res"onsi/le for identifying and
re!oving o/stacles is the .rocess 'acilitator. he .rocess 'acilitator has several a""roaches
availa/le for the re!oval of o/stacles. A "rocess facilitator has si!ilar res"onsi/ilities to a change
agent.
Direct
Deal $ith the o/stacle directly $ithout involving other "eo"le. his can /e as si!"le as getting u"
and !oving an o/stacle i!"airing vision& or as nuanced as running intervie$s and $or7sho"s
throughout an organi+ation to gradually change a cultural o/stacle.
Command and Control
Identify the o/stacle and give "recise instructions for its re!oval to a "erson $ho $ill directly
"erfor! the re!oval. his can so!eti!es $or7 if re!oving an o/stacle ta7es a great deal of ti!e&
effort or s"eciali+ed s7ills that you yourself do not "ossess. #o$ever& the overall a""roach of
Mco!!and and controlM is not reco!!ended for Agile environ!ents since it is dise!"o$ering.
Influence
Identify the o/stacle and suggest !eans to deal $ith it to a "erson $ho has the authority or
influence to get others to deal $ith it. his indirect !ethod of o/stacle re!oval can /e slo$ and
frustrating. #o$ever it usually has /etter long-ter! effects than co!!and and control.
#upport
,ffer to assist and encourage the re!oval of o/stacles that have /een identified /y other "eo"le. In
!any res"ects this is a very effective !ethod. It can assist $ith tea!-/uilding and learning /y
eCa!"le. .eo"le are usually grateful for assistance.

Q@

Coachin0
rain others on the art of o/stacle re!oval including o/stacle identification& ty"es of o/stacles and
strategies for dealing $ith o/stacles. ,/serve "eo"leEs atte!"ts to re!ove o/stacles and give the!
feed/ac7 on their actions.
Creatin0 a Culture of b+tacle )emo4al
<ncourage and !easure o/stacle re!oval at all organi+ational levels until it /eco!es ha/itual. In
!any $ays this is the essence of the lean organi+ation.



# #t tr ra at te e0 0i ie e+ + f fo or r D De ea al li in n0 0 w wi it th h b b+ +t ta ac cl le e+ +
Diagra!s are a great $ay of co!!unicating the essence of a conce"t. 'eel free to share the
follo$ing diagra!s $ith anyone O/ut of course 7ee" the co"yright notice on the!P.



)emo4e
%e!ove the o/stacle altogether. his !ethod of dealing $ith an o/stacle is usually the !ost
i!!ediately effective& /ut is also one of the !ost difficult !ethods.

QF


he /est $ay to actually re!ove an o/stacle is to get at the root cause of the o/stacle and change
that. his ty"e of change results in the longest-lasting and !ost sta/le eli!ination of an o/stacle.
.o4e A+ide
a7e the o/stacle and "ut it in a "lace or situation $here it is no longer in the "ath of the tea!.



In a tea!Es "hysical environ!ent& this !ay /e as si!"le as changing the tools that the tea! is
using. 'or eCa!"le& if the tea! is all in a roo! together& !ove co!"uter !onitors that are
/loc7ing tea! !e!/erEs vie$s of each other. If there is a useless chec7"oint that $or7 results have
to go through& get !anage!ent to eli!inate it.

QL

#hield
>uild a shield or /arrier to hide the o/stacle so that itEs effects no longer touch your tea!.



If a tea! is distracted /y noisy neigh/ours& "ut u" a sound /arrier. If a tea! is una/le to see their
co!"uters due to late afternoon sunlight& "ut u" $indo$ shades. If a !anager is /othering the
tea! $ith !eetings or tas7s unrelated to the $or7 of the tea!& then "ut yourself /et$een the tea!
and the !anager Oor get so!eone in u""er !anage!ent to do thatP.
Shielding is eCcellent for i!!ediate relief& /ut re!e!/er that the o/stacle is still there and !ay
/eco!e a "ro/le! again if the shield cannot /e !aintained.

Tran+form
-hange the structure or for! of the o/stacle so that it no longer affects effectiveness.




Q=
In general& this !ethod re1uires a great deal of creativity and o"en-!indedness. his is one that
$or7s "articularly $ell on "eo"le $ho are o/stacles5 convert the! into friends of the tea!)
'or eCa!"le if the tea! needs a""roval of an eC"ert $ho is not "art of the tea!& this can cause
eCtra $or7 "re"aring docu!entation for this "erson and long delays $hile the eC"ert revises the
docu!ents. If the eC"ert /eco!es "art of the tea!& then they are $ell-infor!ed of the $or7 /eing
done and can give a""roval $ith very little overhead.

If done $ell& this can /e a very long-lasting !ethod of dealing $ith an o/stacle. 9a7e sure that the
transfor!ation is true and that it ta7es hold... and /e$are that the o/stacle doesnEt revert /ac7 to its
old nature.

Counteract
'ind an activity that negates the effects of the o/stacle /y /oosting effectiveness in another area.



As a coach or .rocess 'acilitator& this is $hat $e s"end our ti!e in early in a tea!Es ado"tion of
Agile Wor75 $e get the! to $or7 in the sa!e roo!& use iterations and ada"tive "lanning& $e focus
the! on delivering $or7 valued /y the sta7eholders as defined /y the .roduct ,$ner. All these
things are enhancing the tea!Es a/ility to get $or7 done $ithout actually directly dealing $ith any
o/stacles.
Watch out for /arriers avoided this $ay to co!e /ac7 and /ite you later on.


Q2
H! T $EC.E ATT)ACTI&E

#o$ attracti#e are you to your clients and custo!ersJ Are you attracting all the "eo"le you $ant
to your /usinessJ #o$ do you attract a/undance in your life 8 in $or7& in friendshi"s& in
relationshi"sJ ,ne of the /est $ays to attract other+ is to become attracti4e your+elf.

he late ho!as Leonard develo"ed !' (rinciples of )ttraction that $ill hel" attract clients and
custo!ers to you. #ere are the 22 .rinci"les& fro! ho!as LeonardGs /oo7& The Portable @oach,
Z ;QQ2. #o$ can you a""ly these in your lifeJ

;. $ecome Incredibly #elfi+h. Without *ou& there is nothing and attraction isnGt "ossi/le.
2. "nhoo5 Your+elf from the *uture. Attraction $or7s in the "resent& not in the future.
3. 4er re+pond to E4ery E4ent. >y over res"onding rather than overreacting& you evolve&
$hich is very attractive.
@. $uild a #uper re+er4e in E4ery Area. #aving enough is not nearly enough for *ou to
/e irresisti/ly attractive.
F. Add &alue Lu+t for the Loy of It. When you add value /ecause you enAoy it& "eo"le are
naturally attracted to *ou.
L. Affect ther+ Profoundly. he !ore you touch others& the !ore attractive youGll
/eco!e.
=. .ar5et Your Talent+ #hamele++ly. If youGre e!/arrassed a/out $hat you do& you
$onGt /e very attractive.
2. $ecome Irre+i+tibly Attracti4e to Your+elf. #o$ can you attract others if you donGt feel
irresisti/ly attracted to yourselfJ
Q. 'et a *ulfillin0 Life- not Eu+t an Impre++i4e Life+tyle. A great life is attractiveB a
lifestyle is usually seductive.
;3. Promi+e Little- Deli4er E4erythin0. When you consistently deliver !ore than $as
eC"ected& ne$ custo!ers are dra$n to you.
;;. Create a &acuum that Pull+ You *orward. >eing "ulled for$ard is attractiveB "ushing
yourself for$ard isnGt.
;2. Eliminate Delay. i!e is eC"ensiveB using too !uch is very unattractive.
;3. 'et Your Per+onal Need+ .et- nce and for All. If you have un!et needs& youGll
attract others in the sa!e "osition.
;@. Thri4e on the Detail+. Su/tleties& details& and nuances are !ore attractive than the
o/vious.
;F. Tolerate Nothin0. When you "ut u" $ith so!ething& it costs youB unnecessary costs are
unattractive.
;L. #how ther+ How to Plea+e You. DonGt !a7e the! guess.
;=. Endor+e Your !or+t !ea5ne++. When you can acce"t and honour the $orst "art of
yourself& youGre !ore acce"ting of others.
;2. #en+iti2e Your+elf. he !ore you feel& the !ore youGll notice and res"ond to the !any
o""ortunities in the "resent.
QQ
;Q. Perfect Your En4ironment. he Attraction o"erating syste! is a so"histicated syste!
and it re1uires a first-class environ!ent.
23. De4elop .ore Character than You Need. Integrity is not enough to /eco!e irresisti/ly
attractive.
2;. #ee How Perfect the Pre+ent )eally I+. <s"ecially $hen clearly it is not.
22. $ecome an "nconditionally Con+tructi4e Per+on. #igh levels of res"ect are very
attractive.
23. rient Your+elf Around Your &alue+. When you s"end your days doing $hat fulfils
you& *ou are attractive.
2@. #implify E4erythin0. A/andoning nonessentials leaves !ore roo! for Attraction.
2F. .a+ter Your Craft. he easiest $ay to /eco!e successfulJ >eco!e the /est at $hat
you do.
2L. )eco0ni2e and Tell the Truth. he truth is the !ost attractive thing of all& /ut it
re1uires s7ills and a$areness.
2=. Ha4e a &i+ion. When you can see $hatGs co!ing& you donGt need to create a future.
22. $e )eal- $e Human. When you are hu!an& *ou are attractive.


,n the surface& these "oints !ay see! o/vious 8 /ut they are not easy to !aster and !a7e the! a
"art of your life. <ach re1uires a lot of thought& action& and a strong co!!it!ent to yourself)
Leonard said that one could !a7e a /ig difference /y !astering Aust + of the .rinci"les. Which
ones $ould *ou chooseJ
Interested in learning !ore a/out the (rinciples of )ttraction and ho$ these can !a7e a difference
in your lifeJ Send an e-!ail to5 infoUinfinite"ers"ectives.co! $ith the $ord HAttractionI in the
su/Aect line.

;33
.TI&ATIN' INTE)&IE!IN',

EXCE)PT * A #T"DY N THE E**ECTI&ENE## * .TI&ATIN'
INTE)&IE!IN',

)e+earch Gue+tion

9otivating intervie$ing has only /een a""lied $ith "ersons $ho have an alcohol or drug "ro/le!.
.ro/a/ly it has already /een a""lied to other target grou"s& /ut I couldnGt find any literature on it.

9otivating intervie$ing descri/es an intervie$ style& this $ould /e a""lica/le in the
different settings. Inside the "sychogeriatry you often see Xrevolving door "atientsG. he
!otivating intervie$ing should /e an eCtra su""ort to the other thera"ies in the
healing. his "rocess accelerates /ecause the client is going to thin7 !ore a/out $hat he $ants to
achieve. his $ill !a7e hi! intrinsically !otivated. his "rocess $ill not only /e acted /y !yself&
/ut through the $hole tea!. he continuity is here/y i!"ortant.

Tar0et

I focused on "sycho geriatric clients $ho suffer fro! a reactive de"ression. his !eans along
-uyvers O233;P that a de"ression is caused /y events fro! outside.

As "eo"le age& "hysical and !ental changes occur. hey retire& they !ove ho!e or
they get institutionalised. his often ha""ens $ithout their a""roval. hese are
eCtre!ely confrontational eC"eriences for the elderly. It gives a reaction $ith this
"erson. <veryone reacts in his o$n $ay. *odderis& Dan de Den en Wills O;QQ2P
notice several for!s of co"ing.

%egression is a fall /ac7 on the "ri!itive de"endency feelings. he elderly $ill de!and attention
and gru!/le.

De"ressive "osition characteri+es introversion& /rooding& self "ity&...

Denying of the "hysical and4 or "sychic decline.

Acce"tation advances $hen there is an accordance /et$een the ideal a/out oneself and the reality
of getting older.

.oti4ation

here are three for!s of !otivation according to Dhert O2332P and Dan Laere O2332P.

;. he first one is intrinsic !otivation& the goal of the activity lies in the activity itself.
2. :eCt $e have the eCtrinsic !otivation& the "erson eC"ects that the activity leads to "ositive
conse1uences.
3. he last for! is the internali+ed !otivation& it advances $hen a "erson $ants to !eet the rules
and eC"ectations of the environ!ent. his is often "resent $ith the clients.

;3;
9otivation also has three co!"onents. he first on is readiness& the "erson 7no$s $hat he $ants
and is a/le to !a7e "riorities. he second co!"onent is $illingness& this is the degree to $hich
so!eone $ants change. he last one is a/ility& other$ise said the degree of faith that the client has
in the change. O9iller ( %ollnic7& 233FP

.oti4atin0 inter4iewin0

9otivating intervie$ing is an intervie$ style. It is a client centred and directive !ethod.

It Xs goal is to increase intrinsic !otivation so that change occurs /y eC"loring
a!/ivalence and /y solving this. O9iller ( %ollnic7& 233FP

he general "rinci"les that are concerned are5 the construction of a relationshi" of
trust& the develo"ing of discre"ancy & the !ove!ent $ith the resistance and the
su""ort of the "ersonal effectiveness. OSchi""ers& 2333P

Inside the !otivating intervie$ing are t$o !ar7ed "hases. he first "hase is the
/uilding of !otivation to change. We do this /y5 as7ing o"en 1uestions& listening
reflectively& affir!ing the client& synthesi+ing and "rovo7ing language of change.
he "rovo7ing of language of change can /e a!ong as7ing the !iracle 1uestion Oho$ $ould it /e&
if all your "ro/le!s $ere goneJP or /y loo7ing /ac7 at the "ast& /efore the "ro/le! /egan.

We also need to $or7 on trust /y loo7ing /ac7 at earlier successes& underlining the
strong sides and a""liances& giving infor!ation and advice.

When the client starts to get !ore notion of hi!self and his "riorities O$ishesP& he can go to the
neCt "hase& $hich is a!"lify the involve!ent $ith change.

he situation $ill /e synthesi+ed again so $e can decide $hat has to /e done& this is
called reca"itulation. We also have to as7 o"en 1uestions so the $ishes and "lans of
the client $ill /e "rovo7ed. he last thing $e do& is give infor!ation and advice O$hen the client
as7s and gives "er!issionP. O9iller ( %ollnic7& 233FP
9otivating intervie$ing is a "aradoCical conce"t /ecause the "rofessional hel"er as7s the client to
go $ith hi! for a conversation. his is often an o/ligation. In this $ay it isnGt easy to get the client
intrinsically !otivated. hat is $hy it is i!"ortant to involve the $hole tea! in the !otivating
intervie$ing. his $ill give the client the eC"erience that everyone has the sa!e attitude and he
$ill develo" faster.

Chan0e and re+i+tance

he !odel of .rochas7a ( Dicle!ente sho$s ho$ a "erson $ill develo" during his
"rocess of change. It has several "hases. In the "re-conte!"lation "hase the client has no intention
to change so!ething a/out his /ehaviour. #e $ill dis"lay a lot of denial and resistance.

When he "asses over to the consideration "hase& he starts to dou/t his "ro/le!& /ut he "laces it
outside hi!self.

hereafter he advances to the decision "hase. #e "roceeds to change his /ehaviour&
/ut he is loo7ing for a strategy for change.

;32
#ereafter he arrives in the action "hase. In this "hase he $ill literally change his
/ehaviour and $ill decide in $hich $ay this ha""ens.
In the consolidation "hase the /ehaviour $ill /e !ade sustaina/le.

he last "hase is the decline. In this "hase "eo"le /ac7slide into their old "attern
$here/y they $ill go through the "rocess again. OSchoofs& 2332P

When there is resistance& $e need to /e alert so $e $ill react correctly. his is !ade "ossi/le /y a
si!"le reflection& a strong reflection Oreflect an eCaggerated for! of $hat the client saysP or a t$o
sided reflection Ore"ort the a!/ivalenceP. We can also change the focus& eC"ress other$ise Osee
infor!ation in a ne$ lightP and accentuate freedo! of choice and self control $hit the client.
O9iller ( %ollnic7& 233FP

*ocu+ point+

hese include certain ele!ents $hich one !ust ta7e into consideration.
%estricted disease a$areness and de!entia result in the client not al$ays
understanding $hat one !eans. With these "eo"le a ste" /y ste" a""roach is
reco!!ended so that not too !uch resistance develo"s .

rans!ission and contra trans!ission !ust /e ta7en into consideration so that a good relationshi"
can develo".

9edication results in un"leasant co!"lications& the client !ust /e understood if he
eC"eriences "ro/le!s.

>asic attitude !ust /e integrated so that the client can eC"erience the !otivating
intervie$ing !ore 1uic7ly and so that it Xs easier to a""ly. hus it is the tas7 of the
colleges to a""ly !otivating intervie$ing continually.

Practical +tudy

I start $ith the client /y ta7ing an assess!ent& 0%I-A O0niversity %hode Island
-hange Assess!entP. It !easures the intrinsic $illingness to change. >y this test one can also
deduce in $hich "hase the client finds the! self according to the "hase !odel of .rochas7a and
Dicle!ente. As a result of this assess!ent I gain a /etter understanding of the client and their
"ro/le!.

After this I conduct various other sessions so that I can achieve intrinsic !otivation
ste" /y ste". he sessions are conducted $ith !aterial so that the client is !ore easily a/le to
s"ea7 a/out their "ro/le!s and feelings. he sessions are insightfully organi+ed and are therefore
very de!anding for the client. After this a discussion occurs so that one can go dee"er into the
!atters raised /y the client.

I conduct siC sessions in total& each session has a different goal. I $or7 around the
cultivation of trust& round co"ing or ho$ so!eone deals $ith the events& round the
creation of language change /y for!ulating $ishes and round situations $here the
client is little or !uch influenced. I lead the client on a Aourney of self discovery and
confront hi! $ith hi!self /y getting others to $rite do$n his characteristics. After four sessions a
retest of the 0%I-A follo$s to see if there is a !ar7ed evolution and to see $hat "ro/le!s they are
;33
no$ eC"eriencing. After this I !a7e a $ee7end "lan $ith the client and as7 the client to assess the
thera"y.

It is also i!"ortant to infor! the tea! of the !ethod /eing used. In this $ay the /asic attitude can
/e ado"ted and the client $ill understand and acce"t the intervention.

he eCecution of the "ractical $as not si!"le. I had only one client that could co!"lete the
sessions /ecause of "re!aturely resign.

A client told !e that she $ould change if she $as younger. hese "eo"le had already
eC"erienced so !uch change& that they $ere not $illing to eC"erience even !ore
disru"tion. hey attached !uch i!"ortance to the ada"tation of the environ!ent.

,nly in the correct environ!ent could they fully develo" and feel /etter a/out the! self. I also
noted that there $ere secondary "athologies& these !ade the intervention no easier. he continuity
of !otivating intervie$ing is still useful $ith these target grou".

It is also handy to !a7e ada"tations during the sessions and to give eCtra confir!ation at the client.

he $illingness for "artici"ation at the thera"y is re!ar7a/le different for each one.
hey have different reasons.

-lients in the action "hase can /e !otivated easier /y concrete tas7s and are ca"a/le to for!ulate
their o$n $ishes.

Conclu+ion

o go /ac7 to !y research 1uestion I can conclude that !otivating intervie$ing gives the client
!ore insight into the! self and their ideas. he client 7no$s $hat he $ants& /ut this is not al$ays
easy to achieve. he older clients $ill only change if their environ!ent changes. hen and only
then can they fully develo" and "artici"ate $ith full enthusias!.

he goal of the thera"ies !ust /e clear to !otivate "eo"le.
here are therefore an accu!ulation of factors& that insure that the client is intrinsically !otivated
to "artici"ate.

I have eC"erienced that !otivating intervie$ing is an u"lifting intervie$ style. hough it !ust /e
said it is not self8evident /ecause you !ust /e a$are of the different signals and your o$n reaction
to the signals.
;3@
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D Do on nH Ht t t ta ai il l0 0a at te e, ,
% %e ee ep p i it t + +i im mp pl le e, ,
E En nE Eo oy y 0 0o oo od d c co om mp pa an ny y, ,
% %e ee ep p y yo ou ur r p pr ro om mi i+ +e e+ +, ,
L Li i+ +t te en n t to o y yo ou ur r c ch hi il ld dr re en n, ,
$ $e e a a 0 0o oo od d l lo o+ +e er r, ,
$ $e e a a b be et tt te er r w wi in nn ne er r, ,
$ $e e r ro om ma an nt ti ic c, ,

T Ta a5 5e e a a n na ap p o on n # #u un nd da ay y a af ft te er rn no oo on n, ,
N Ne e4 4e er r d de ep pr ri i4 4e e + +o om me eo on ne e o of f h ho op pe e, ,
$ $e e t th ha an n5 5f fu ul l f fo or r e e4 4e er ry y m me ea al l, ,
N Ne e4 4e er r b be e a af fr ra ai id d t to o + +a ay y- - M MI IH Hm m # #o or rr ry y, ,M M
I Im mp pr ro o4 4e e y yo ou ur r p pe er rf fo or rm ma an nc ce e b by y i im mp pr ro o4 4i in n0 0 y yo ou ur r a at tt ti it tu ud de e, ,
! !a a4 4e e a at t c ch hi il ld dr re en n o on n t th he e + +c ch ho oo ol l b bu u+ +, ,
L Le ea a4 4e e e e4 4e er ry yt th hi in n0 0 a a l li it tt tl le e b be et tt te er r t th ha an n w wh he en n y yo ou u f fo ou un nd d i it t, ,
L Le ea a4 4e e t th he e t to oi il le et t + +e ea at t i in n t th he e d do ow wn n p po o+ +i it ti io on n, ,
T Ta a5 5e e t ti im me e t to o + +m me el ll l t th he e r ro o+ +e e+ +, ,

$ $e e 5 5i in nd de er r t th ha an n n ne ec ce e+ ++ +a ar ry y, ,
! !e ea ar r o ou ut tr ra a0 0e eo ou u+ + u un nd de er rw we ea ar r o on n a a E Eo ob b i in nt te er r4 4i ie ew w- - o or r t to o w wo or r5 5F F
T Ta a5 5e e 0 0o oo od d c ca ar re e o of f t th ho o+ +e e y yo ou u l lo o4 4e e, ,
. .a a5 5e e i it t a a h ha ab bi it t t to o d do o n ni ic ce e t th hi in n0 0+ + f fo or r p pe eo op pl le e w wh ho o n ne e4 4e er r f fi in nd d o ou ut t, ,
L Lu ud d0 0e e y yo ou ur r + +u uc cc ce e+ ++ + b by y t th he e d de e0 0r re ee e t th ha at t y yo ou u e en nE Eo oy y p pe ea ac ce e a an nd d 0 0o oo od d h he ea al lt th h, ,
D Do on nH Ht t e e6 6p pe ec ct t t th ha at t m mo on ne ey y w wi il ll l b br ri in n0 0 y yo ou u h ha ap pp pi in ne e+ ++ +
E En nE Eo oy y a a 0 0l la a+ ++ + o of f 0 0o oo od d w wi in ne e, ,
;3F
L Li i4 4e e + +o o t th ha at t w wh he en n y yo ou ur r c ch hi il ld dr re en n t th hi in n5 5 o of f f fa ai ir rn ne e+ ++ +- - c ca ar ri in n0 0 a an nd d i in nt te e0 0r ri it ty y- -
t th he ey y t th hi in n5 5 o of f y yo ou u, ,
N Ne e4 4e er r r re ef fu u+ +e e h ho om me e m ma ad de e c co oo o5 5i ie e+ +, ,
) )e em me em mb be er r o ot th he er r p pe eo op pl le eH H+ + b bi ir rt th hd da ay y+ +, ,
# #i in n0 0 i in n t th he e + +h ho ow we er r, ,
) )e e+ +i i+ +t t 0 0o o+ ++ +i ip p, ,
D Do on nH Ht t n na a0 0, ,
# #a ay y M MT TH HA AN N% % Y Y " "M M a a l lo ot t, ,

T Ta a5 5e e c ca ar re e o of f y yo ou ur r r re ep pu ut ta at ti io on nN N i it t i i+ + y yo ou ur r m mo o+ +t t 4 4a al lu ua ab bl le e a a+ ++ +e et t, ,
T Ta a5 5e e y yo ou ur r d do o0 0 t to o o ob be ed di ie en nc ce e + +c ch ho oo ol l, ,
# #l lo ow w d da an nc ce e, ,
D Do on nH Ht t r ra ai in n o on n o ot th he er r p pe eo op pl le eH H+ + p pa ar ra ad de e, ,
D Do on nH Ht t p po o+ +t tp po on ne e E Eo oy y, ,
! !h hi i+ +t tl le e, ,
C Ca al ll l y yo ou ur r m mo ot th he er r, ,
D Do o m mo or re e t th ha an n w wh ha at t i i+ + e e6 6p pe ec ct te ed d o of f y yo ou u, ,
$ $e e + +o om me eo on ne eH H+ + h he er ro o, ,
C Co ou un nt t y yo ou ur r b bl le e+ ++ +i in n0 0+ +, ,, ,, ,d da ai il ly y, ,
E En nE Eo oy y a a + +u un nr ri i+ +e e- - + +u un n+ +e et t, ,










Author 0n7no$n - Last u"dated January ;Q& ;QQ2

;3L



THE *I&E )"LE# * HAPPINE##

O/y >urt *old!an P

!hat i+ it that ma5e+ a per+on happyD

It is i!"ortant to reali+e& that $hat !a7es you ha""y !ight de"ress another "erson. here are
"eo"le $ho feel unha""y $hen they should /e ha""y. ,ften /ecause of guilt& a feeling they do not
deserve $hat they have& or /ecause of fear that they $ill lose $hat they have. .ossessions are a
"oor !easure of ha""iness. .ossessions are su/Aective and relative to the individual and the
individualGs vie$"oint.

It is /etter therefore to use a "hiloso"hy. 'or eCa!"le the "hiloso"hy to e en nj jo oy y t th he e t th hi in ng gs s
y yo ou u l li ik ke e, , a av vo oi id d o or r c ch ha an ng ge e t th he e t th hi in ng gs s y yo ou u d do o n no ot t l li ik ke e, , a an nd d a ac cc ce ep pt t w wh ha at t
y yo ou u c ca an nn no ot t a av vo oi id d o or r c ch ha an ng ge e /y the s7ilful use of your vie$"oint. he use of this
"hiloso"hy& as e!/odied in the five rules& $ill allo$ you to test !any "ro/le! areas in your life
and find solutions. With this "hiloso"hy& you $ill /e $ell on your $ay on your "ursuit of
ha""iness.
;3=

7, Pur+uit of Happine++ ( )ule Number ne1
If You Li5e a Thin0- EnEoy It,

:o$ that see!s outrageously si!"le. At first you !ight say& HhatGs ridiculous& of course if I li7e
so!ething& IG! going to enAoy it.I >ut $hen you sto" to thin7 a/out it youGll "ro/a/ly agree that
there are !any things in life that $e li7e /ut donGt enAoy. he reasons $e donGt enAoy things $e
li7e are OaP guilt& and O/P fear. You $ill not enAoy so!ething you li7e if you feel guilty after having
done the thing& or if you are fearful of the conse1uences of doing it.

9, Pur+uit of Happine++ ( )ule Number Two1
If You DonBt Li5e a Thin0- A4oid It,

he second rule see!s si!"le enough& /ut reflect for a !o!ent on ho$ !any "eo"le are involved
$ith things they do not li7e K a Ao/& a "erson& a vehicle& a ty"e of food& any one of a thousand
things K and for so!e reason they donGt avoid those things. HWell& I canGt avoid it. I have to $or7
there /ecause I need the !oney.I ,r& HI have to /e involved $ith this "erson for !any valid
reasons.I #o$ !any Austifications can you thin7 of for not avoiding the things you do not li7e to
doJ

:, Pur+uit of Happine++ ( )ule Number Three1
If You DonBt Li5e a Thin0- and You Cannot A4oid It- Chan0e It,

#ere again& the ans$er is si!"le5 change it. >ut Aust as in avoidance $e rationali+e that $e need
so!ething a/out it K the !oney& the ti!e& the security K so!ething is holding you to that
"articular thing if you donGt li7e it& cannot avoid it& $onGt change it& /ut are still involved $ith it.

;, Pur+uit of Happine++ ( )ule Number *our1
If You DonBt Li5e a Thin0- Cannot A4oid It- and Cannot or will Not Chan0e It-
Accept It,

Acce"tance K no$ there is a catch. #o$ can you acce"t so!ething you donGt li7eJ #o$ in the
$orld do you acce"t so!ething that is Eunacce"ta/leEJ #o$ do you acce"t a situation that youGre
not ha""y $ithJ #o$ do you acce"t a "erson that youGre not ha""y $ithJ
Well& you really donGt have to acce"t anythingB you can& of course& /e unha""y. If you donGt li7e it&
$onGt change it& cannot avoid it& and $ill not acce"t it& I guarantee that you $ill /e unha""y.

here are& ho$ever& five rules to the secret of ha""iness& and $ithin the fifth lies the 7ey.

<, )ule Number *i4e1
You Accept a Thin0 $y Chan0in0 Your Attitude Toward+ It,

You are the result of your vie$"oints and attitudes. <verything is relative to the "erson
eC"eriencing it. here are no a/solutes K nothing is good& nothing /ad& eCce"t as it relates to you.
:or is life good or /ad. Life si!"ly is. You change those things you $ish /y changing your
vie$"oint a/out the!. #o$ easy) - #o$ difficult)

Your attitudes and vie$"oints are all "art of your !ind and once you develo" the "o$er of self
!ind control you $ill /e the !aster of your o$n attitudes and vie$"oints. he .o$er of Self 9ind
-ontrol $ill sho$ you ho$ to go to the !editative level and using these five rules& youGll find
yourself on the right "ath on the "ursuit of ha""iness. YouGll reali+e $hy "eo"le are unha""y.
;32
<ventually it $ill /eco!e auto!atic& and youGll find ha""iness a "redo!inant state of !ind. ,nce
you reali+e the ease of ac1uiring this e!otion& you develo" an entirely ne$ scale of highs and
lo$s.

0nre!itting ha""iness& of course& is not a "ossi/le or desira/le state. According to the "rinci"le of
rhyth!& there is al$ays an inflo$ and outflo$& an e// tide and a flood tide. YouGll al$ays have
highs and lo$s K thereGs no $ay to avoid that. #o$ever& your highs $ill /e higher and your lo$s
$ill /e higher. YouGll then find that $hat is a ha""y state for you !ight /e a state of de"ression for
so!eone una$are of the 'ive %ules of #a""iness.
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

he a/ove article is a /eautiful cha"ter fro! >urt *old!anEs /oo7& Mhe .o$er of Self 9ind
-ontrol.M You can learn !ore a/out his latest /oo7 at htt"544$$$.Self9ind-ontrol.co! >urt
*old!an has also /een a Silva 9ind instructor teaching techni1ues to !a7e the rest of your life
the /est of your life. o learn a/out Silva se!inars near you Aust visit
htt"544$$$.silvaultra!indsyste!.co!


;3Q
TP #E&EN #T)ATE'IE# T $EC.E THE $E#T
AT !HAT Y" D

>y lee 7ariu7i 4 ada"ted /y Dean A!ory

oday in life $e are constantly faced $ith challenges5 Hdo this& do that& try this& try that YI
>elieve !e& the road to success and ha""iness is not to follo$ everything that everyone tells you to
do)
'irst thing you should do& is ta7e /ac7 control of your o$n life. You are an individual "erson& $ith
a uni1ue identity. Your %oad to success and ha""iness is the road that You $ill /uild& not the ones
others /uilt for you. #ere are = i!"ortant ti"s that I use on a consistent /asis that have never failed
!e and I 7no$ they $onEt fail you either if you follo$ the! $ith a "recision)

7 7, , * *I IN ND D " "T T ! !H HA AT T Y Y " " L LI I% %E E T T D D F F

We have heard this re"eated over and over and over5 Life is /eautiful) Life is a/undance) Life is
ha""iness) So $hy $ould you s"end an eCtra !inute& if not a lifeti!e& doing $hat you dreadJ
Stri7e a /alance& !y friend) Your Ao/ !ay not /e ideal& /ut for the ti!e /eing& it su""lies you $ith
an inco!e. So& for no$5 Do this Ao/ $hile you $or7 on $hat you really love doing) I have co!e to
/elieve that you can !a7e a decent inco!e in $hatever you li7e to. >ut of course& you need to start
$ith the /eginning and find out $hat it is you $ould really love to do) So for you to find ha""iness
enriched $ith longevity& !y first ti" is that you should a/solutely find $hat it is that you love to do
"assionately.

9, PE)*ECT Y") PA##IN

,nce you found your "assion& !a7e it your "assion) Sto" $asting ti!e and energy5 focus on
/eco!ing al$ays /etter in your chosen field. %ead $hat you need to read) he $orldGs /est
s"ecialists are at your dis"osal. You $ill /e a!a+ed at the a/undance of resources out there5 he
li/rary& the internet& !aga+ines& se!inaries& courses& Y the list is endless. 0se this $ealth of
infor!ation) Do your ho!e$or7) And once you got started5 find "eo"le $ith the sa!e "assion&
tal7 a/out your "assion& live your "assion) Your +eal and desire for "erfection $ill dra$ attention
to you and soon you $ill discover o""ortunities to enhance your life /y offering you the "ossi/ility
to s"end !ost of your ti!e doing things you love to do.

: :, , $ $E E C C N N# #I I# #T TE EN NT T

I can not over e!"hasi+e this) I a! a!a+ed at ho$ correct !y "redictions a/out the outco!e of
soccer ga!es are) >elieve !e5 it is no coincidence that the tea! that 7ee"s ta7ing shots at the
goal7ee"er !ost of the ti!e also $ins the ga!e. :o !atter $hat the $eather is& 7ee" on doing
$hat /rings love and ha""iness to your heart) You !ay fail at ti!es& /ut ta7e failure only for $hat
it is5 a lesson) :o s"orts!an ever /eat a record at his first try. It ta7es intelligence& ti!e& energy&
co!!it!ent and confidence to 7ee" studying and eC"eri!enting until you /eco!e as good as you
$ant to /e)
;;3

;, .NEY #H"LD NT $E Y") NLY D)I&IN' *)CE

here are things that $e do si!"ly /ecause $e $ant to get "aid) :othing $rong $ith that& /ut if
!oney is the only reason $hy you are doing $hat you do& then the chance it !a7ing you ha""y
and /ringing you lasting success is very s!all. Let the "erfection flo$ and the !oney $ill co!e) I
.%,9IS< you)

< <, , . . N NI IT T ) ) Y Y " ") ) T TH H " "' 'H HT T# #

'ocus on the end result) %egardless of the "ath& the destination is of the only thing that should
!atter)
DonGt allo$ negativity into your life& 7ee" your goal in !ind& !a7e it your true intention and donEt
$orry to !uch a/out the "ath)

=, ELI.INATE *EA)

DonEt let fear /e the reason you do things you have no intention to do) Instead let fear /e your
driving force)

C, HA&E *"NF

Whatever you do& !a7e sure
you are enAoying it to the
fullest) DonGt $aste your ti!e
doing things you donGt enAoyB
donGt $aste your ti!e !a7ing
things that you do not enAoy
yourselfB donGt $aste your
ti!e offering services you
donGt /elieve in. You cannot
sincerely ho"e to /eco!e
ha""y /y doing things that you
donGt feel good a/out& can
youJ You cannot "ossi/ly
ho"e to /eco!e successful in a
field that you donGt even li7e
and enAoy yourself& can you J

htt"544$$$.the-refleCions.co!

;;;
=@ #.ALL !AY# T I.P)&E Y") LI*E IN THE
NEXT 7@@ DAY#

>y5 9arelisa 'a/rega

9arelisa 'a/rega holds a >achelor of Science in >usiness Ad!inistration fro! *eorgeto$n 0niversity
in Washington& D.-.& as $ell as a Juris Doctor fro! the *eorgeto$n 0niversity La$ -entre. She lives in
the %e"u/lic of .ana!a. 9arelisa /logs a/out creativity& "roductivity& and getting the !ost out of life
over at A/undance >log at 9arelisa ,nline. SheEs the author of the e>oo7s M#o$ to Live Your >est
Life - he <ssential *uide for -reating and Achieving Your Life ListM& and M9a7e It #a""en) A
Wor7/oo7 for ,verco!ing .rocrastination and *etting the %ight hings DoneM.

RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR


-ontrary to "o"ular /elief& you donGt have to !a7e drastic changes in order to notice an i!"rove!ent in
the 1uality of your life. At the sa!e ti!e& you donGt need to $ait a long ti!e in order to see the
!easura/le results that co!e fro! ta7ing "ositive action. All you have to do is ta7e s!all ste"s& and ta7e
the! consistently& for a "eriod of ;33 days.

>elo$ youGll find L3 s!all $ays to i!"rove all areas of your life in the neCt ;33 days.

Home

;. -reate a H;33 Days to -on1uer -lutter -alendarI /y "encilling in one grou" of ite!s you "lan to
declutter every day& for the neCt ;33 days. #ereGs an eCa!"le5

Day ;5 Declutter 9aga+ines
Day 25 Declutter DDDGs
Day 35 Declutter /oo7s
Day @5 Declutter 7itchen a""liances

2. Live /y the !antra5 a "lace for everything and everything in its "lace. 'or the neCt ;33 days follo$
these four rules to 7ee" your house in order5

;4 If you ta7e it out& "ut it /ac7.
24 If you o"en it& close it.
34 If you thro$ it do$n& "ic7 it u".
@4 If you ta7e it off& hang it u".

3. Wal7 around your ho!e and identify ;33 things youGve /een toleratingB fiC one each day. #ere are
so!e eCa!"les5

A /urnt light /ul/ that needs to /e changed.
A /utton thatGs !issing on your favourite shirt.
he fact that every ti!e you o"en your to" 7itchen ca/inet all of the "lastic food containers fall
out.
;;2
Happine++

@. 'ollo$ the advice "roffered /y "ositive "sychologists and $rite do$n F to ;3 things that youGre
grateful for& every day.

F. 9a7e a list of 23 s!all things that you enAoy doing& and !a7e sure that you do at least one of these
things every day for the neCt ;33 days. Your list can include things such as the follo$ing5

<ating your lunch outside.
-alling your /est friend to chat.
a7ing the ti!e to sit do$n and read a novel /y your favourite author for a fe$ !inutes.

L. Kee" a log of your !ental chatter& /oth "ositive and negative& for ten days. >e as s"ecific as "ossi/le5

#o$ !any ti!es do you /eat yourself u" during the dayJ
Do you have feelings of inade1uacyJ
Are you constantly thin7ing critical thoughts of othersJ
#o$ !any "ositive thoughts do you have during the dayJ

Also& !a7e a note of the e!otions that acco!"any these thoughts. hen& for the neCt Q3 days& /egin
changing your e!otions for the /etter /y !odifying your !ental chatter.

=. 'or the neCt ;33 days& have a good laugh at least once a day5 get one of those calendars that has a
different Ao7e for every day of the year& or sto" /y a $e/ site that features your favourite cartoons.

Learnin0APer+onal De4elopment

2. -hoose a /oo7 that re1uires effort and concentration and read a little of it every day& so that you read
it fro! cover to cover in ;33 days.

Q. 9a7e it a "oint to learn at least one ne$ thing each day5 the na!e of a flo$er that gro$s in your
garden& the ca"ital of a far-off country& or the na!e of a "iece of classical !usic you hear "laying in
your favourite clothing /outi1ue as you sho". If itGs ti!e for /ed and you canGt identify anything youGve
learned that day& ta7e out your dictionary and learn a ne$ $ord.

;3. Sto" co!"laining for the neCt ;33 days. A cou"le of years /ac7& Will >o$en gave a "ur"le ru//er
/racelet to each "erson in his congregation to re!ind the! to sto" co!"laining. H:egative tal7 "roduces
negative thoughtsB negative thoughts "roduce negative resultsI& says >o$en. 'or the neCt ;33 days&
$henever you catch yourself co!"laining a/out anything& sto" yourself.

;;. Set your alar! a !inute earlier every day for the neCt ;33 days. hen !a7e sure that you get out of
/ed as soon as your alar! rings& o"en the $indo$s to let in so!e sunlight& and do so!e light stretching.
In ;33 days youGll /e $a7ing u" an hour and forty !inutes earlier than youGre $a7ing u" no$.

;2. 'or the neCt ;33 days& 7ee" 9orning .ages& $hich is a tool suggested /y Julia -a!eron. 9orning
.ages are si!"ly three "ages of longhand& strea! of consciousness $riting& done first thing in the
!orning.

;;3
;3. 'or the neCt ;33 days !a7e it a "oint to feed your !ind $ith the thoughts& $ords& and i!ages that
are !ost consistent $ith $ho you $ant to /e& $hat you $ant to have& and $hat you $ant to achieve.

*inance+

;@. -reate a s"ending "lan Oalso 7no$n as a /udgetP. rac7 every cent that you s"end for the neCt ;33
days to !a7e sure that youGre stic7ing to your s"ending "lan.

;F. Scour the internet for frugality ti"s& choose ten of the ti"s that you find& and a""ly the! for the neCt
;33 days. #ere are so!e "ossi/ilities5

*o to the grocery store $ith cash and a calculator instead of using your de/it card.
a7e inventory /efore going to the grocery store to avoid /uying re"eat ite!s.
Scale /ac7 the ca/le.
As7 yourself if you really need a landline tele"hone.
-onsolidate errands into one tri" to save on gas.
Kee" trac7 of ho$ !uch !oney you save over the neCt ;33 days /y a""lying these ti"s.

;L. 'or the neCt ;33 days& "ay for everything $ith "a"er !oney and 7ee" any change that you receive.
hen& "ut all of your change in a Aar and see ho$ !uch !oney you can accu!ulate in ;33 days.

;=. DonGt /uy anything that you donGt a/solutely need for ;33 days. 0se any !oney you save /y doing
this to do one of the follo$ing5

.ay do$n your de/t& if you have any.
.ut it to$ard your siC !onth e!ergency fund.
Start setting aside !oney to invest.

2. Set an hour aside every day for the neCt ;33 days to devote to creating one source of "assive inco!e.

Time .ana0ement

;Q. 'or the neCt ;33 days& ta7e a note/oo7 $ith you every$here in order to 7ee" your !ind decluttered.
%ecord everything& so that itGs safely stored in one "laceKout of your headK$here you can decide $hat
to do $ith it later. Include things such as the follo$ing5

Ideas for $riting assign!ents.
A""oint!ent dates.
o Do list ite!s

23. rac7 ho$ you s"end your ti!e for F days. 0se the infor!ation that you gather in order to create a
ti!e /udget5 the "ercentage of your ti!e that you $ant to devote to each activity that you engage in on a
regular /asis. his can include things such as5

rans"ortation
#ouse$or7
Leisure
Inco!e-*enerating Activities

;;@
9a7e sure that you stic7 to your ti!e /udget for the re!aining QF days.

2;. Identify one lo$-"riority activity $hich you can sto" doing for the neCt ;33 days& and devote that
ti!e to a high "riority tas7 instead.

22. Identify five $ays in $hich you regularly $aste ti!e& and li!it the ti!e that youGre going to s"end
on these activities each day& for the neCt ;33 days. #ere are three eCa!"les5

Watch no !ore than half-an-hour of television a day.
S"end no !ore than half-an-hour each day on social !edia sites& such as 'ace/oo7& $itter& and
Stu!/leu"on.
S"end no !ore than t$enty !inutes a day "laying video ga!es.

23. 'or the neCt ;33 days& sto" !ulti-tas7ingB do one thing at a ti!e $ithout distractions.

2@. 'or the neCt ;33 days& "lan your day the night /efore.

2F. 'or the neCt ;33 days& do the !ost i!"ortant thing on your o-Do list first& /efore you do anything
else.

2L. 'or the neCt ;@ $ee7s& conduct a revie$ of each $ee7. During your $ee7ly revie$& ans$er the
follo$ing5

What did you acco!"lishJ
What $ent $rongJ
What $ent rightJ

2=. 'or the neCt ;33 days& s"end a fe$ !inutes at the end of each day organi+ing your des7& filing
"a"ers& and !a7ing sure that your $or7 area is clean and orderly& so that you can $al7 in to a neat des7
the neCt day.

22. 9a7e a list of all of the co!!it!ents and social o/ligations that you have in the neCt ;33 days.
hen& ta7e out a red "en and cross out anything that does not truly /ring you Aoy or hel" !ove you along
the "ath to achieving your !ain life goals.

2Q. 'or the neCt ;33 days& every ti!e that you s$itch to a ne$ activity throughout the day sto" and as7
yourself& HIs this the /est use of !y ti!e at this !o!entJI

Health

33. Losing a "ound of fat re1uires /urning 3F33 calories. If you reduce your caloric inta7e /y ;=F
calories a day for the neCt ;33 days& youGll have lost F "ounds in the neCt ;33 days.

3;. 'or the neCt ;33 days& eat five servings of vegeta/les every day.

32. 'or the neCt ;33 days& eat three servings of fruit of every day.

33. -hoose one food that constantly sa/otages your efforts to eat healthierK$hether itGs the decadent
cheeseca7e fro! the /a7ery around the corner& dee"-dish "i++a& or your favourite "otato chi"sKand go
cold tur7ey for the neCt ;33 days.
;;F

3@. 'or the neCt ;33 days& eat fro! a s!aller "late to hel" control "ortion si+e.

3F. 'or the neCt ;33 days& /uy ;33T natural Auices instead of the 7ind $ith added sugar and
"reservatives.

3L. 'or the neCt ;33 days& instead of car/onated drin7s& drin7 $ater.

3=. -reate a list of ;3 healthy& easy to fiC /rea7fast !eals.

32. -reate a list of 23 healthy& easy to fiC !eals $hich can /e eaten for lunch or dinner.

3Q. -reate a list of ;3 healthy& easy to fiC snac7s.

@3. 0se your lists of healthy /rea7fast !eals& lunches& dinners& and snac7s in order to "lan out your
!eals for the $ee7 ahead of ti!e. Do this for the neCt ;@ $ee7s.

@;. 'or the neCt ;33 days& 7ee" a food log. his $ill hel" you to identify $here youGre deviating fro!
your "lanned !enu& and $here youGre consu!ing eCtra calories.

@2. 'or the neCt ;33 days& get at least t$enty !inutes of daily eCercise.

@3. Wear a "edo!eter and $al7 ;3&333 ste"s& every day& for the neCt ;33 days. <very ste" you ta7e
during the day counts to$ard the ;3&333 ste"s5

When you $al7 to your car.
When you $al7 fro! your des7 to the /athroo!.
When you $al7 over to tal7 to a co-$or7er& and so on.

@@. Set u" a $eight chart and "ost it u" in your /athroo!. <very $ee7 for the neCt ;@ $ee7s& 7ee" trac7
of the follo$ing5

Your $eight.
Your "ercentage of /ody fat.
Your $aist circu!ference.

@F. 'or the neCt ;33 days& set your $atch to /ee" once an hour& or set u" a co!"uter re!inder& to !a7e
sure that you drin7 $ater on a regular /asis throughout the day.

@L. 'or the neCt ;33 days& !a7e it a daily ritual to !ediate& /reath& or visuali+e every day in order to
cal! your !ind.

Your )elation+hip

@=. 'or the neCt ;33 days& actively loo7 for so!ething "ositive in your "artner every day& and $rite it
do$n.

@2. -reate a scra"/oo7 of all the things you and your "artner do together during the neCt ;33 days. At
the end of the ;33 days& give your "artner the list you created of "ositive things you o/served a/out
the! each day& as $ell as the scra"/oo7 you created.
;;L

@Q. Identify 3 actions that youGre going to ta7e each day& for the neCt ;33 days& in order to strengthen
your relationshi". hese can include the follo$ing5

Say HI love youI and H#ave a good dayI to your significant other every !orning.
#ug your significant other as soon as you see each other after $or7.
*o for a t$enty !inute $al7 together every day after dinnerB hold hands.

#ocial

F3. -onnect $ith so!eone ne$ every day for the neCt ;33 days& $hether itGs /y greeting a neigh/our
youGve never s"o7en to /efore& follo$ing so!eone ne$ on $itter& leaving a co!!ent on a /log youGve
never co!!ented on /efore& and so on.

F;. 'or the neCt ;33 days& !a7e it a "oint to associate $ith "eo"le you ad!ire& res"ect and $ant to /e
li7e.

F2. 'or the neCt ;33 days& $hen so!eone does or says so!ething that u"sets you& ta7e a !inute to thin7
over your res"onse instead of ans$ering right a$ay.

F3. 'or the neCt ;33 days& donGt even thin7 of "assing Audg!ent until youGve heard /oth sides of the
story.

F@. 'or the neCt ;33 days do one 7ind deed for so!eone every day& ho$ever s!all& even if itGs Aust
sending a silent /lessing their $ay.

FF. 'or the neCt ;33 days& !a7e it a "oint to give "raise and a""roval to those $ho deserve it.

FL. 'or the neCt ;33 days& "ractice active listening. When so!eone is tal7ing to you& re!ain focused on
$hat theyGre saying& instead of rehearsing in your head $hat youGre going to say neCt. .ara"hrase $hat
you thin7 you heard the! say to !a7e sure that you havenGt !isinter"reted the!& and encourage the! to
ela/orate on any "oints youGre still not clear a/out.

F=. .ractice e!"athy for the neCt ;33 days. If you disagree $ith so!eone& try to see the $orld fro! their
"ers"ectiveB "ut yourself in their shoes. >e curious a/out the other "erson& a/out their /eliefs and their
life eC"erience& and a/out the thin7ing "rocess that they follo$ed to reach their conclusions.

F2. 'or the neCt ;33 days& stay in your o$n life and donGt co!"are yourself to anyone else.

FQ. 'or the neCt ;33 days& "lace the /est "ossi/le inter"retation on the actions of others.

L3. 'or the neCt ;33 days& 7ee" re!inding yourself that everyone is doing the /est that they can.



;;=
;;2
#.E >"TE#


-haracter cannot /e develo"ed in "eace and 1uiet. ,nly through eC"erience of trial and
suffering can the soul /e strengthenedB vision clearedB a!/ition ins"ired& and success
achieved.- #elen Keller

Do not go $here the "ath !ay lead& go instead $here there is no "ath and leave a trail.-
%al"h Waldo <!erson

*enius is seldo! recogni+ed for $hat
it is5 a great ca"acity for hard $or7.-
#enry 'ord&
;2L3 8 ;Q@=

#a""iness is a choice that re1uires
effort at ti!es.- Anony!ous

#ard $or7 /eats talent $hen talent
doesnEt $or7 hard.- i! :ot7e

#o$ you s"end your ti!e is !ore
i!"ortant than ho$ you s"end your
!oney. 9oney
!ista7es can /e corrected& /ut ti!e is
gone forever.- David :orris

I count hi! /raver $ho overco!es his
desires than hi! $ho overco!es his
ene!ies& for
the hardest victory is victory over
self.- Aristotle

I long to acco!"lish a great and no/le tas7& /ut it is !y chief duty to acco!"lish s!all
tas7s as if they $ere great and no/le.- #elen Keller

If there is anything I $ould li7e to /e re!e!/ered for it is that I hel"ed "eo"le
understand that leadershi" is hel"ing other "eo"le gro$ and succeed. o re"eat !yself&
leadershi" is not Aust a/out you. ItEs a/out the!.- Jac7 Welch

If you have the $ill to $in& you have achieved half your successB if you donEt& you have
achieved half your failure.- David A!/rose

If you ta7e too long in deciding $hat to do $ith your life& youGll find youGve done it.-
*eorge >. Sha$.

9ost loo7 u" and ad!ire the stars. A cha!"ion cli!/s a !ountain and gra/s one.-
0n7no$n
;;Q

:ever let a "ro/le! to /e solved /eco!e !ore i!"ortant than a "erson to /e loved.-
>ar/ara Johnson

:ever !ista7e 7no$ledge for $isdo!. ,ne hel"s you !a7e a living& the other hel"s you
!a7e a life.- Sandra -arey

,ne of the !ost tragic things I 7no$ a/out hu!an nature is that all of us tend to "ut off
living. We are all drea!ing of so!e !agical rose garden over the hori+on - instead of
enAoying the roses that are /loo!ing outside our $indo$s today.- Dale -arnegie

,nly those $ho $ill ris7 going too far can "ossi/ly find out ho$ far one can go.- .S.
<liot

,""ortunity is !issed /y !ost "eo"le /ecause it is dressed in overalls and loo7s li7e
$or7.- ho!as <dison
%e"utation is $hat "eo"le thin7 you are. -haracter is $ho you really are. a7e care of
your character and your re"utation $ill ta7e care of itself.- O,n an A!erican "la1ueP

Success is a Aourney& not a destination.- %al"h Ar/itelle

Success is your drea!s $ith $or7 clothes onY - un7no$n

Successful and unsuccessful "eo"le do not vary greatly in their a/ilities. hey vary in
their desires to reach their "otential.- John 9aC$ell

he !iddle of every successful "roAect loo7s li7e a disaster.- %osa/eth 9oss -antor

he !ore I $ant to get so!ething done& the less I call it $or7.- %ichard >ach

he only li!it to our reali+ation of to!orro$ $ill /e our dou/ts of today.- 'ran7lin D.
%oosevelt

he "ur"ose of life is a life of "ur"ose - %o/ert >yrne

,utstanding leaders a""eal to the hearts of their follo$ers - not their !inds.- 0n7no$n

he secret of success is to do the co!!on things unco!!only $ell.- John D. %oc7efeller

he test of our "rogress is not $hether $e add !ore to the a/undance of those $ho have
!uchB it is $hether $e "rovide enough for those $ho have too little.- %oosevelt

o laugh often and !uchB to $in the res"ect of intelligent "eo"le and the affection of
childrenB to earn the a""reciation of honest critics and endure the /etrayal of false friendsB
to a""reciate /eauty& to find the /est in othersB to leave the $orld a /it /etter& $hether /y a
healthy child& a garden "atch or a redee!ed social conditionB to 7no$ even one life has
/reathed easier /ecause you have lived. his is to have succeeded.- %al"h Waldo <!erson

;23
0nless you try to do so!ething /eyond $hat you have already !astered& you $ill never
gro$.- %onald <. ,s/orn

We !ust acce"t finite disa""oint!ent& /ut never lose infinite ho"e.- 9artin Luther
King& Jr.

Yesterday is a cancelled chec7B o!orro$ is a "ro!issory noteB oday is the only cash
you have& so s"end it $isely.- Ki! Lyons

You !ay /e disa""ointed if you fail& /ut you are doo!ed if you donEt try.- >everly Sills

ruth fears no trial.- .rover/

If you arenEt !a7ing any !ista7es& itEs a sure sign youEre "laying it too safe.- John 9aC$ell






;2;
! !H HA AT T I IT T T TA A% %E E# # T T E EN NH HA AN NC CE E Y Y " ") ) L LI I* *E E

#a""iness& *ood #ealth& Wealth& Success& ... are $ishes. Wishing for the
s7y $onEt i!"rove the 1uality of your life and $ell-/eing. If $ishes $ere
horses& /eggars !ight ride ...

:either $ill M$anting to succeedM& M$anting to 1uit s!o7ingM& M$anting to
lose $eightM or M$anting to /eco!e !ore social& assertive& ...M /e of !uch
hel" to you. hese are intentions.

What it ta7es to /e successful at enhancing your life is5 *%AS. I)

*%AS. stands for5 a *oal& a %eason& Action& a Strategy and .erseverance.

:o$& letEs loo7 into these ele!ents in so!e !ore detail5



'AL

So!e of us !ay find it difficult to identify their drea!& $hile others have so !any drea!s that their !ain
"ro/le! is to "rioritise a!ong the!. In either case& it is i!"ortant to re!e!/er that !ost drea!s $ill
re!ain Aust that5 drea!s. 0nless $e "rioritise and then transfor! our !ost urgent or i!"ortant o/Aective
into a s!art goal..

S9A%& !eaning5 S"ecific& 9easura/le& Attaina/le& %e$arding and i!e /ound or racea/le.

:o$& $rite this goal do$n as a "ositive and concrete state!ent.

'or eCa!"le5 I will lose 10 kilos by the end of this year and will lose 2 kilos per month.

#int5 It !ay /e a good idea to "aste your goal in visi/le& "ro!inent areas around you to /e regularly
re!inded of it.

)EA#N

9otivation is very i!"ortant. he "ath to success is al!ost never a s!ooth one. If you are not "re"ared
for set/ac7s& you !ay discover that your goal suddenly see!s a lot less i!"ortant $hen the going gets
though.

9otivation is $hat s"ar7ed the fire in the first "lace. ItEs the reason $hy you selected this goal and $ant to
achieve it.

>ut along the $ay& the intensity and direction of your !otivation $ill vary. 9ay/e you started your "ath
$ith one i!"ortant reason in !ind& /ut discover after so!e ti!e that this is not the real reason $hy you
$ant to achieve this s"ecific goal. hat is o.7. as long as your reasons fuel the enthusias! and courage that
you need to learn fro! failure and continue to$ard the fulfil!ent of your goal.

#int5 A visuali+ation /oard to hel" you visuali+e yourself enAoying the /enefits $hich you $ill eC"erience
once you have acco!"lished your goal& !ay "rove very hel"ful to get you through difficult !o!ents.

;22
ACTIN

So& you have a great goal. >ut ho$ eCactly are you going to reach itJ

'irst thing to do is to /rea7 do$n your goal into !anagea/le su/-goals. :ot only $ill these ste""ing stones
hel" you to 7ee" things in the right "ers"ective O- co!"are Mhalf a 7ilo to go this !onthM to Mstill 2 7ilos to
goM -P& /ut they $ill also !a7e it easier to dra$ concrete daily action "lans and to revie$ and evaluate your
"rogress on a regular /asis. As long as you 7ee" sight of your goal& this allo$s for so!e fleCi/ility along
the road.

#int5 ,nce your "re"arations are done& donEt delay5 Act %ight :o$) And once you got started& donEt sto".

#T)ATE'Y

9any roads lead to %o!e. De"ending on your "ersonal eC"eriences and "references& your strengths and
$ea7nesses and on your actual life situation& you $ill have to "ic7 a traAectory& a !eans of trans"ortation&
the ti!e you $ant to invest in your Aourney& the sto""ing "laces and the !ileage you $ant to cover each
!onth& $ee7 and day.

>ut donEt /e too hard on yourself5 even the /est horse $ill stu!/le fro! ti!e to ti!e. Yet& it $ill get /ac7
on its feet and 7ee" going. It is li7ely that your initial action strategy $ill re1uire so!e adAust!ent along
the road. 9ay/e you under-esti!ated the ti!e or effort needed to eCecute your action "lan. ,r changes in
your life situation force you to reconsider your schedule. his i!"lies that it !ay ta7e you a little longer to
achieve your goal. >ut& hey) You 7no$ $hy you changed your action "lan) he i!"ortant thing here is to
al$ays /e honest $ith yourself. >ut& if necessary& itEs even !uch /etter to adAust your goal than to thro$
the to$el and give u".

#int5 %egular revie$s are i!"ortant. hey allo$ you to evaluate your "rogress& to ada"t your daily action
"lan and to cele/rate your victories)

PE)#E&E)ANCE

You started on this "ath to$ard the acco!"lish!ent of your drea! in the fir! /elieve that you can reali+e
your goal. Your goal is a S9A% goal. You have the !otivation and the right strategy to overco!e any
o/stacles that you !ight encounter along the $ay.

If you ever felt that you $ere a victi!& /y ta7ing things into your o$n hands you have "roven that you are
deter!ined to /e the "rotagonist in your o$n life.

It is not /ecause the road is long and $indy that it also should /e dull and hard and lonely. 'inding "ositive
role !odels !ay /e a great idea5 >eco!e ins"ired /y "eo"le $ho acco!"lished so!ething i!"ortant.
%ead a/out the!& $atch "ositive !ovies. Surround yourself $ith "ositive& su""ortive "eo"le $ho care
a/out you.

#int5 Share your goal $ith the "eo"le around you. ell the! a/out it and& if "ossi/le& find others that share
the sa!e goals and for! a s!all grou" in $hich !e!/ers su""ort each other and hold each other
accounta/le. ,r find a !entor to su""ort you.


Copyright: Dean Amory, 2014

;23
7< !AY# T ENHANCE Y") LI*E
I..EDIATELY

Dean Amory

;2@





1. ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY
;2F





2. DECIDE TO BE HAPPY AND SUCCESSFUL
;2L





3. DEFINE HAPPINESS AND SUCCESS

< <l le e" "h ha an nt ts s c ca an nn no ot t f fl ly y5 5 K Kn no o$ $ y yo ou ur rs se el lf f
Y Yo ou u c ca an nn no ot t / /e e t th he e / /e es st t a at t e ev ve er ry yt th hi in ng g5 5 . .i ic c7 7 y yo ou ur r t ta ar rg ge et ts s
;2=


4. BE PASSIONATE

- -o on nv vi ic ct ti io on n& & d de ev vo ot ti io on n& &
D De ev ve el lo o" " a a $ $i in nn ne er rG Gs s ! !e en nt ta al li it ty y
A Al l$ $a ay ys s g go o t th he e e eC Ct tr ra a ! !i il le e
;22


5. DARE TO CHANE

K Ke ee e" " y yo ou ur r * *o oa al ls s f fi ir r! !& & / /u ut t y yo ou ur r c ch ho oi ic ce e o of f r ro oa ad ds s f fl le eC Ci i/ /l le e
;2Q





!. BE POSITI"E
;33


#. PLAN YOUR HAPPINESS AND SUCCESS

. .l la an n o on n t th he e s sh ho or rt t t ti i! !e e a an nd d o on n t th he e l lo on ng g t ti i! !e e
W Wh he er re e a ar re e y yo ou u n no o$ $J J W Wh he er re e $ $i il ll l y yo ou u / /e e ; ; y ye ea ar r f fr ro o! ! n no o$ $J J A An nd d i in n F F y ye ea ar rs sJ J
W Wr ri it te e y yo ou ur r g go oa al ls s d do o$ $n n a an nd d r re ea ad d t th he e! ! e ev ve er ry y d da ay y
. .l la an n $ $h ha at t c ca an n / /e e " "l la an nn ne ed d& & e ev ve en n i if f y yo ou u 7 7n no o$ $ y yo ou u $ $i il ll l h ha av ve e t to o a ad da a" "t t t th he e " "l la an n
a af ft te er r$ $a ar rd d

;3;



$. BE CONFIDENT

D Do on nG Gt t h hi id de e y yo ou ur r e eC C" "e er rt ti is se e
A A f fe e$ $ h ho ou ur rs s o of f s st tu ud dy y i is s a al ll l i it t t ta a7 7e es s t to o 7 7n no o$ $ ! !o or re e a a/ /o ou ut t a a s su u/ /A Ae ec ct t t th ha an n ! !o os st t. .
> >e e h ha a" "" "y y. . > >e e a a s su uc cc ce es ss s. .
;32


J, LI&E TDAY

: :o o o on ne e c ca an n g go o / /a ac c7 7 a an nd d ! !a a7 7e e a a / /r ra an nd d n ne e$ $ s st ta ar rt t. .
A An ny yo on ne e c ca an n s st ta ar rt t f fr ro o! ! n no o$ $ a an nd d ! !a a7 7e e a a / /r ra an nd d n ne e$ $ e en nd di in ng g. .
;33


1%. CO&&IT YOURSELF

: :e ev ve er r g gi iv ve e u u" "
;3@


11. STUDY

9 9o od de el l h ha a" "" "y y a an nd d s su uc cc ce es ss sf fu ul l " "e eo o" "l le e
a a7 7e e a a c co oa ac ch h
9 9o ov ve e i in n c ci ir rc cl le es s o of f h ha a" "" "y y a an nd d s su uc cc ce es ss sf fu ul l " "e eo o" "l le e
% %e ea ad d a a/ /o ou ut t y yo ou ur r s su u/ /A Ae ec ct t
a al l7 7 a a/ /o ou ut t i it t
S St tu ud dy y

;3F


;3L


12. ACT' ACT' ACT'
;3=


13. SEE FAILURE AS AN OPPORTUNITY

W Wh he en n y yo ou u f fa al ll l& & g ge et t u u" "5 5 y yo ou u A Au us st t l le ea ar rn ne ed d s so o! !e et th hi in ng g. .
Y Yo ou u a ar re e / /e et tt te er r n no o$ $ ) )
;32



14. SEE IN"ESTED TI&E AND ENERY
AS AN IN"EST&ENT
;3Q


15. APPLY THE FI"E RULES OF HAPPINESS

; ;. . h he e g gr ra as ss s i is s : :, , g gr re ee en ne er r a an ny y$ $h he er re e e el ls se e. . L Li if fe e i is s $ $h ha at t y yo ou u ! !a a7 7e e i it t. .
A Av vo oi id d t th he e E Ei if f o on nl ly y. .. .. .E E s sy yn nd dr ro o! !e e a at t a al ll l c co os st ts s. .
2 2. . K Ke ee e" " a a c cl lo os se e $ $a at tc ch h o on n a at tt ti it tu ud de es s. .
3 3. . * *i iv ve e y yo ou ur rs se el lf f a a$ $a ay y t to o o ot th he er rs s i if f y yo ou u r re ea al ll ly y $ $a an nt t t to o / /e e h ha a" "" "y y. .
@ @. . A A" "" "r re ec ci ia at te e o ot th he er rs s a ar ro ou un nd d y yo ou u& & $ $h ha at t y yo ou u h ha av ve e a an nd d a al ll l c cr re ea at ti io on n. .
I It tE Es s a a! !a a+ +i in ng g h ho o$ $ ! !a an ny y / /l le es ss si in ng gs s $ $e e h ha av ve e $ $h he en n $ $e e / /e eg gi in n t to o c co ou un nt t t th he e! !. .
F F. . . .u ut t y yo ou ur rs se el lf f $ $h ho ol le eh he ea ar rt te ed dl ly y i in nt to o $ $h ha at te ev ve er r n ne ee ed ds s d do oi in ng g. .

S,0%-<5 htt"544A!!.aaa.net.au4indeC.ht!
;@3








htt"544$$$.lulu.co!4s"otlight4Jai!elavie




JOURNEY TO
ANYWHERE




sseccus





YOUR ROADMAP TO SUCCES







Imagine for a moment that, out of the
blue, a good friend inites !ou to go
on acation "ith him#

A few questions that are likely to pop up immediately are:

- Is this o.k.?
- Do I want to do this?
- Is it safe?
- Is it acceptable?
- Can I afford this?

alues$ %rescribe
desired behaiour,
character and culture









&u%%ose !ou see no ob'ections#
You "ill start (dreaming) no"$
What *ind of acation "ould I %refer+ , and he+
-each . E/%loration . 0ultural . &%orts . Hi*ing 1
Hotel . Touring . 0am%ing 1

* mission$ brief, t!%icall! one,sentence, statement defining the
fundamental %ur%ose of the enter%rise and "hat it does to
achiee the ision#
E.g.: To organize a cultural city trip to a mayor European
Town.

* ision$ concise as%irational, ins%irational and measurable
definition of the mid, to long, term strategic ob'ecties and
goals of the enter%rise# &tates "hat !ou ("ill be) , ("ill
achiee) or ("ill become) "ithin a certain time frame#
E.g.: We will go in August and visit the main museums,
churches and points of interest of the town, enjoy the local
kitchen, attend a cultural performance and make ecursions
to some near!y places of historical or cultural importance.











Once !ou *no" "hat !ou "ant, it is time to (2uantif
! the ision)

i.e: to become more concrete and consider

what timin! suits the both of you"
where to !o and stay and what to do there.
how you will !et to your destination #by car? $y plane?%
how you will spend your &acation time:

'(hich places you want to see"
'what acti&ities you want to participate in"
'and when#

)his includes settin! priorities and decidin! whether you
will do all thin!s to!ether" or whether you will combine
shared acti&ities with a personal a!enda.








3&trategic Anal!sis4

* &trategic goals are broad, long,term aims that bridge the (alue
ga%)$ the difference bet"een realit! 3no"4 and as%i ration#
E.g.: We will have a good time and enjoy the highlights of early
renaissance

* Ob'ecties are s%ecific, 2uantifiable, realistic targets that measure
the accom%lishment of a goal oer a s%ecified time#
E.g.: We will visit the "uomo, the #ffizzi, the $alleria "ell%Arte, The
&anta 'roce, The 'hiesa (aria )ovela, the *asilica &an +orenzo and
the ,rson (ichele. We will see the -onte .ecchio and the Walls of
/lorence, enjoy the panoramic view from the -iazza (ichelangelo and
visit the market at the &an +orenzo. We will also make ecur0sions to
&iena, -isa and +ucca.
1n the evenings, we will have lunch at least once at 2. And attend
one ,pera performance. At least half a day will !e reserved for
shopping.
* &trategies are broad actiities re2uired to achiee an ob'ectie,
control a critical success factor or oercome a barrier#
E.g.: We will make reservations as much as possi!le !eforehand,
since this will !e cheaper than reserving in /irenze and will also
spare us the time lining up for reservation.









* The success factor defines the desired outcome from a successful
strateg! e/ecution#
E.g.: We will return happy !ut content after enjoying our city trip to the
fullest

* 0ritical &uccess 5actors are essential %arts of the enter%rise that must
be %erformed or fulfilled if !ou are to achiee the mission, ob'ecties
and goals
E.g.: The trip will !e considered a success only if we achieve to visit all
the places that we planned. 1f however a planned item has to !e
dropped, then we will drop the visit to the ,rsonmichele and the half
day reserved for shopping. 1f an ecursion has to !e dropped, we will
drop the ecursion to +ucca.

* Tactics are s%ecific ste%s to be ta*en b! a defined %erson, at a certain
time and at a s%ecified cost, to im%lement a strateg!#
E.g.: 3ou will transfer 4 to my !ank account num!er 555 !efore end of
this (onth. Within 67 days from receipt, 1 shall !uy the airplane tickets
for the !oth of us at .oyage Agent 55
/ollowing reservations will also !e !ooked at this occasion:
We shall meet at your place on Thursday ..8.. to check on the internet for
Additional opportunities.








*


After !ou agreed on the details of !our o!age, it6s time to dra" a concrete
%lan# 7lans are made to be changed, but remember $ (if !ou fail to %lan, !ou
are %lanning to fail 8)
39eelo% the &trateg!4
:onda! Tuesda! Wednesda! Thursda! 5rida! &aturda! &unda!
;h<<
=h<<
>h<<
1
(ith e&erythin! properly a!reed and planned" you now you ha&e all the
information required to start makin! reser&ations and preparations for the trip :
bookin! tra&el a!ency" subscribin! tra&el insurance" listin! useful addresses"
checkin! lu!!a!e" clothin!" toilet articles" + mak in! sure your plants or pets
will be taken care off durin! your &acation" that your letter bo, will be emptied
+.
3%ro'ects and actions4
A week before lea&in! start checkin! all your preparations. )ra&el documents
ready? -u!!a!e ok?
Also" reconfirm deals made: your plans and pets count on bein! takin! care off
durin! your &acation.
3monitor and re,ealuate !our %ro'ects and actions4
5inall!$ En'o! !our ?acation 8








Journe! to an!"here
$efore !oin! any further: may I ask you to stop for a
moment and answer two little questions ? :

. /a&e you noticed any important considerations that I
for!ot to mention in the strate!ical approach on the
pre&ious pa!es?

*. In your opinion" ha&e I listed actions which do not
contribute to assurin! that you will ha&e a successful
trip to 0lorence? )hat is: suppose that you were really
lea&in! on a trip to 0lorence" which of the listed actions
would you 12) take ?

O@, after haing ans"ered these 2uestions, !ou can
no" %roceed to the last %age $









About &uccess in Aife

If it takes this amount of plannin! to assure a
successful 3 day trip"

/ow come you are not plannin! and followin!
throu!h on your plannin!
(hen it comes to assurin! success for this
so much more important trip"
(hich is :

YOUR JOURNEY THROUBH AI5E
+







4







&U00E&&

ENJOY . 9RI?E TO A0HIE?E , 7A&&ION
TA@E :A&&I?E A0TION
7AAN . 9E?EAO7 &TRATEBIE& . 7UT C&T THINB& C&T
&EE O77ORTUNITIE& . 5IN9 &OAUTION&
0O::UNI0ATE . &7EA@ YOUR TRUTH, AI?E YOUR WOR9
:O9EA &U00E&&5UA 7EO7AE . INTERA0T WITH INTERE&TINB 7EO7AE
E9U0ATE YOUR&EA5 D A77AY NEW @NOWAE9BE
0ON5I9EN0E D RE&OA?E $ I 0AN, I WIAA, I 9E0I9E
?I&ION$ I &EE HOW
:I&&ION $ I WANT























































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