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Communication skills

Chapter 5 (summary)
Verbal messages

By:
madany: 2121061 - Mayar Ayman El
Mohamed Ahmed Bahgat: 2121096
Ahmed Mohamed Ibrahim: 2121021

Verbal messages
Principles of verbal messages 1)
Message Meanings Are in People:
Meaning differ from person to anther and changing times such as the word love you.
In dictionary Webster's mean the attraction, desire or affection felt for a person who
arouses delight or admiration but Pedro when he said '' I'm in love"?
It's in this sense that meanings are not words but in people
.
Meanings Are Denotative and Connotative
Denotation: refer to the meaning youd find in dictionary; it's the meaning that
members of the culture assign to word.
Connotation: is the emotional meaning that specific speakers /listeners give to a word.
Example:
The Dr understands the word death in a different way than the mother does.
*semanticist S.I. Hayakawa coined the terms ''snarl words" and "purr words"
Snarl words are highly negative but purr words are highly positive
3) Messages Can Be Onymous or Anonymous
Onymous messages are signed that is the author of the message is clearly identified;
as it is in your textbooks, news and articles. You dont have to deal with the
consequences of your message.

Anonymous messages are those for which the author is not identified for example,
on faculty evaluation questionnaires and one rate my professor .com ,the ratings
and the comments are published anonymously .
4) Message Meanings vary in Abstraction:
refer to ideas that cant be physically described. Examples of abstract terms would be
can be perceived by the senses and described.

5) Message Meanings vary in politeness:


Polite messages: reflect positively on the other person (for example, compliments or
pats on the back ) and respect the other person's right to be independent and
autonomous .
Impolite messages: attack our needs to be seen positively (for example, criticism or
negative facial expressions) and to be autonomous (making demands or forcing
another to do something.
6) Messages vary in immediacy
Immediacy is the creation of closeness, a sense of togetherness, of oneness, between
speaker and listener. When you communicate immediacy you convey a sense of
interest and attention, a liking for and an attraction to the other person. You
communicate immediacy with both verbal and nonverbal messages.
7) Messages can deceive:
Although we operate on the assumption that people tell the truth, it should come as no
surprise to learn that some people do lie. Lying also begets more lying when one
person lays, the likelihood of the person lying increases. Large cultural differences
exist in the way lying is defined and in the way lying is treated
8) Message Meaning Vary in Assertiveness:
Assertive messages express your real thoughts- even if they involve disagreeing or
arguing with others-but are nevertheless respectful of the other person and Not
embarrassed of start my opinion in group.

*Additional four disconfirming practices:
1-Racism
-individual racism: consists of negative attitudes and beliefs that people hold about
specific races or ethnic groups.
-Institutionalized racism: is happen and seen in organizational behaviors such as
corporations, banks etc.

*How to avoid racism?
Avoid using derogatory terms for members of a particular race or group of
people.
Avoid interacting with members of other races through stereotypes
perpetuated by the media.

2-Heterosexism
-individual heterosexism: refers to attitudes, behaviors, and language that disparage
gay men and lesbians and in the belief that all sexual behavior that is not heterosexual
is unnatural and deserving of criticism and condemnation.
-institutional heterosexism: it is happening by laws. For example, there are some
countries and states ban gay marriage.
*How to avoid heterosexism?
Avoid offensive nonverbal mannerisms that parody stereotypes when talking
about gay men and lesbians.
Avoid over attribution, the tendency to attribute just about everything a person
does, says, and believes to the fact that the person is gay or lesbian. Because
this tendency helps to activate and perpetuate stereotypes.
3-Agism:
-individual ageism: it is seen in negative stereotypes that many people have about
those who are older.
-Institutional ageism: is seen in mandatory retirement laws and in age restrictions in
certain occupations. For example, in some countries people in their 70s are not able to
rent cars.


*Tips to avoid ageism:
Avoid to talking down to a person because he or she is older.
Refrain from refreshing an older person's memory each time you see the
person. Older people can and do remember things.
Engage older people in conversation as you would wish to be engaged. Older
people are interested in the world around them.
4- Sexism:
-individual sexism: beliefs such as the ideas that women should be only caretakers
and should be sensitive at all times, and also includes beliefs such as the men are
interested only in sex, and are incapable of communication feelings.
-institutional sexism: public discrimination depending on gender, for example, the
widespread practice of paying women less than men for the same job.
*Tips to avoid sexism:
Avoid using the word man generically. Because the word man refers most
clearly to an adult male.
Avoid using the words him and his as a generic.
Avoid sex role stereotyping. The words you use often reflect a sex role bias
and the assumption that certain roles or professions belong to men and others
belong to women.

*How to use verbal messages effectively?
(1) Extensionalize: avoid intentional orientation.
(2) Recognize complexity: avoid allness.
(3) Distinguish between facts and inferences: avoid fact-inference confusion.4
(4) Discriminate among: avid indiscrimination.
(5) Talk about the middle: avoid polarization.
(6) Update messages: avoid static evaluation.

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